artemyspyke
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Recent works
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Seconds Like Days by artemyspyke
Fandoms: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom, X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) - Fandom
21 Jun 2014
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Summary
The moment hangs crystalline between them. Raven breathes heavily with a borrowed set of lungs. She prays that Erik will break down, hit her, tear apart the room - anything. Anything different than what she's had for the past year.
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Abbie Mills had been staring at Ichabod Crane’s head for six and a half straight minutes.
There was some statistic out there that said six seconds or more of eye contact signified the desire for sex or murder. Even though Ichabod hadn’t met her eyes even once yet, she still felt the desire for both of those things, and it all circled around the hair.
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Communication is Important (Time for a Wedding!) by artemyspyke for My friend Lauren
Fandoms: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
04 Sep 2013
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"Spock had never looked cuter than he did just then with a face full of cake. Even though he sputtered and dug it out of his eyes immediately, he didn't hesitate at all to grab the back of Jim’s head and enthusiastically return the gesture. They stood there, covered in it, to an audience of three hundred hysterically laughing and applauding people, and Jim felt on top of the world."
They say that getting married is the seventh most stressful thing that a person can do. Jim and Spock put that to the test.
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Spock's Off Day (Or 5 times Mr. Spock was distracted by his Captain, and 1 time it was the other way around) by artemyspyke
Fandoms: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
03 Sep 2013
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Even though it starts normally, Commander Spock's day goes from bad to worse in a series of increasing ridiculous accidents that all seem to revolve around one gold-clad crewmember. While Spock can't help being distracted, the rest of the crew is forced to wonder just how oblivious two people can be.
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A short little cracky scenario where James Tiberius Kirk can't manage his first officer, and he whines to his best friend about it. But when Bones accidentally gives him an idea, can the Captain use Disney to reach his 2nd in Command? Will there be hyposprays? Is Spock posh? Is "bestest" a word? Tune in to find out!
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
“…You serious?” Healy scoffed, disbelief nestled into the edges of his face. “Come on, March, that’s-“
“An in-depth investigation tactic,” March finished for him, brain too buzzed to think about any potential implications right now, “I work best when I’m in the zone.”
“And you want to get in the zone of someone I’m… Wooing?”
“You make it sound weird.”
Healy started to smile. Because of course he fucking did. “It is weird, March.”
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or: healy, supposedly, has more skill than march in the seduction department. like any seasoned p.i. worth their salt, march investigates this claim. thoroughly.
Bookmarked by artemyspyke
12 Aug 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
AHHH THE BANTER THE YEARNING THE DUMBASSERY <3 this is everything. Perfection <3
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Summary
It is four in the afternoon. Holland March is six weeks and four days into his second attempt at sobriety when his late wife's parents come knocking.
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or, Holland gets a visit from the in-laws and a new perspective on his relationshipBookmarked by artemyspyke
11 Aug 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
March is such a loser. I love him deeply. Of course he would approach the topic of his potential relationship with Healy this way. The idea of his wife’s parents being so kind and supportive?? Ugh my heart
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I Think I Love You (So What Am I So Afraid Of?) by CastorTheGhost
Fandoms: The Nice Guys (2016)
12 May 2026
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Jackson Healy is not a family man, nor is he a relationship man. He learned that one the hard way after the divorce.
So, can someone tell him why he’s standing at the cash register of a dollar store, watching Holland March fiddle with his wallet with a giant poster board under his armpit, while a pile of markers of all colors and stationery sits on the conveyor belt? Though he supposes that’s another one of life’s great mysteries, and something he’ll wake up every morning asking himself.
Bookmarked by artemyspyke
11 Aug 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Healy accidentally says something homophobic, to which March’s reaction is first anger and the second to plant one on him. And it works!!! I love them so much. Perfect yearning <3
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“Whoa, wait, back up.” Holland instantly sat up in his seat, grabbing hold of the arm so he could twist round to face Holly. “Klein? As in Janet Klein? Did you fucking punch Janet?!”
“Mr. March!” Principal Harrison admonished, “Language!”
Holland gave him an apologetic wince before he looked back at Holly.
“Holly,” he said, gentler, “Look at me.” He waited until Holly complied with his request. “Honey, did you punch Janet in the face?”
——OR——
Janet runs her mouth, and Holly finds that sometimes, a little violence is very helpful, actually.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,649
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 163
- Kudos:
- 1,028
- Bookmarks:
- 190
- Hits:
- 8,310
Bookmarked by artemyspyke
10 Aug 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Sometimes the bigotry of this era is handwaived for fics but this handles it so well!!!! I also appreciate that this story highlights that Janet isn’t fully responsible for her own hatred because children learn it from their caretakers. So well done. I LOVE THIS <3
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Summary
Between processing the unhealed grief of losing his wife, trying to keep from drinking himself into a coma, and struggling with his freshly grown feelings for his business partner, accepting a new case is probably not the smartest thing March has ever done.
Series
- Part 2 of goose fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 65,272
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 247
- Kudos:
- 1,172
- Bookmarks:
- 268
- Hits:
- 19,059
Bookmarked by artemyspyke
09 Aug 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
LOVE THIS STORY. The handling of March’s alcoholism is done very bluntly and compassionately. It doesn’t shy away from how ugly that can get. The dynamic between March and Healy is so fraught but so earnest, and the sex is DELICIOUS. Fantastic fic <3 UGHHH