Chapter Text
Throughout the duration of the long, arduous journey, Andra felt every slight bump and turn of the wagon.
The winter wind howled through the cracks, causing her to shake violently. She cuddled her stuffed bunny rabbit and tried to go to sleep, but the anxiety of not seeing or hearing from her parents at all caused her to become deeply afraid.
She listened for any sounds of her parent’s voices, but there was nothing to be heard except the sound of the wheels of the wagon churning on a snowy path.
Despite her mother’s strict orders to not move or make a noise, she slowly raised up and crawled toward the front of the wagon.
“F-Father? Mother?” Andra called out timidly.
The wagon came to a stop.
She gasped in horror and retreated back to her makeshift bed to hide underneath the covers, fearing that a monster had already kidnapped her and was taking her to its evil lair.
Sucking in a deep breath, she mustered her courage and readied her fists.
Suddenly, the curtain at the back of the wagon was pulled to the side.
“Die, monster!” she shouted while lunging forward in a frenzy, nailing her fist against her father’s jaw.
Crystal let out a pained scream from the violent swing from his eight year old child.
Within a matter of seconds, Illian had also darted around to the back with her sword drawn with a look of sheer panic in her eyes.
“Crystal! What the hell is going on?!” Illian dashed forward, noticing the skin around his jaw was red and puffy.
“I-I’m sorry, Father. I didn’t mean it!” Andra apologized as she wrung her hands with shame. “I thought you were a monster coming to eat me!”
“I-It’s alright…” Crystal wiped his face with his handkerchief. “I should had announced myself before I pulled back the curtain.”
Illian sighed a breath of relief as she sheathed her sword.
“We can’t afford any accidents. We need to keep moving.”
Andra wrapped her little arms around her father.
“Can you ride back here with me?”
“I’d love to, but your mother-“
“It’s fine.” Illian said distantly, her gaze scanning the empty, white wilderness for unseen threats. “Stay with her.”
After loading back up, they resumed their journey. Many hours crawled by.
“I want to ride up front with Mother!” Andra demanded, her voice sharp with boredom and impatience.
“No, darling. It’s to dangerous.” Crystal shook his head.
She blew out an impatient breath.
“I don’t care!”
Crystal sighed one of those quiet, long-suffering sighs that came from too many hours of traveling with a restless child. He reached into a small satchel and pulled out a blue rubber ball and a handful of wooden jacks.
“How about we play a game of jacks?”
The stubborn frown plastered on Andra’s face quickly turned into an excited smile from the suggestion.
Crystal attempted to keep himself and his daughter busy by playing Jacks.
For a while, the game worked. Her giggles filled the wagon each time the ball bounced. But as the games continued, Andra lost again and again—Crystal wasn’t even trying to win, but his reflexes were simply quicker.
After countless times of losing every game to her father, she became very frustrated.
“No! No! I want to win this time!” she yelled at the top of her lungs as she snatched the ball out of her Father’s hand so hard it made his fingers sting.
“Andra, darling, please don’t yell.” he scolded gently and reached for her hand. “Here, let me show you how to hold-“
“No! I want to learn it all by myself!” she snapped, jerking away.
She attempted to bounce the ball and pick up all the jacks at once. Unfortunately, she wasn’t fast enough. Even the jacks she had managed to pick up fell out of her hand as soon as she caught the ball.
“Ugh! I hate this stupid game!”
Before Crystal could react, she hurled the ball with all her might. It ricocheted off the wall of the wagon, bounced wildly around them, and shot straight out through a gap in the curtain.
Crystal flinched. “Andra!”
“Oh no! My ball!” she screamed and without hesitation, yanked the curtain back leading outside and jumped.
“Andra! No!” Crystal gasped in horror, scrambling toward the opening.
Andra landed hard in the snow, wincing as icy wetness soaked into her trousers and sleeves. The wind slapped at her face, sharp and merciless. She staggered to her feet and spotted the ball lying in a patch of muddy slush.
“Illian! Stop the wagon!” Crystal screeched with panic.
The wagon came to a violent halt.
“Crystal?! What’s wrong?!” Illian yelled as she dismounted in a frenzy and ran around to the back.
“Andra jumped out!”
Illian’s breath stilled. She spun around just as Andra came running back, holding her ball like it was treasure.
“I found it, Father!” Andra proclaimed with glee as she ran towards the wagon. However, her smile soon faded when she saw her mother’s stern scowl.
“Come here this instant!”
With head lowered, Andra slowly trudged over to where Illian was standing. When she got close, she felt her arm grasped tightly by her mother.
“If you EVER do that again…” Illian hissed, voice shaking with terror she refused to show. “I will take off my belt and wear you completely out with it! Do you understand me?!”
“But, I had to get-“
“I don’t give a damn, Andra!” Illian reprimanded, more harshly than she meant to. “This isn’t the time for foolish games! Jump out again and punishment will follow! Get back in the wagon! Now!”
Andra nodded mournfully, choking back a sob and quickly scrambled inside. Once settled behind the curtain, she retreated to her father’s arms.
“W-Why is Mother being so mean to me?” Andra whimpered as little tears pricked her eyes.
“She isn’t meaning too, darling. Things are really dangerous right now. She just doesn’t want you getting hurt, that’s all.” Crystal comforted.
Andra didn’t reply and buried her face into his chest.
After hours of riding, they both felt the wagon come to a stop. Crystal climbed near the front and shifted the curtain to the side back.
“Illian? What’s going on? Where… are we?”
“A place long forgotten.” she answered as she gazed around the desolate area.
“It’s so far off the main road.” he remarked, noticing the path they were currently on was grown up and barely visible underneath the snow.
“It used to be where my great grandparent’s lived a long time ago. My mother had shown me the home place when I was a child… but I’m having trouble remembering the way. I… hope it’s still there…”
“May I ride with you, Mother?” Andra inquired politely.
“No, darling.” Crystal shook his head. “I’ve already explained to you that it’s too dangerous.“
“It’s alright. We are far enough off the main road now. She can ride up front for a little while.”Illian nodded and gestured for her to sit next to her.
Andra shot her father a triumphant smirk and climbed up front.
Crystal rolled his eyes but said nothing.
Andra gasped when she felt the cold winter wind hit her face as she stepped outside on the front of the wagon. The cold wasn’t just uncomfortable, it bit and clawed, numbing her cheeks and stiffening her fingers. The temperature had dropped significantly from when they first started out.
“I-I’m cold…”
Illian snapped the reins.
“If you’re going to complain the entire time, then I suggest you go back inside with your father. I’m not putting up with whining.”
Andra pouted and folded her arms. Her face trembled, teeth chattered, and her little frame shook violently.
Illian sighed, unfurling her cape and wrapped it around her daughter’s small shoulders.
“Lean against me.”
Andra cuddled up close. Her wide eyes took in the fields of endless snow stretching into gray, misted distance, a world both beautiful and merciless. Illian removed one glove and held out her bare hand, pale and stiff from the cold . Andra slipped her small fingers into it. Illian’s skin was like ice.
“Are you not cold, Mother?”Andra asked softly, worry was in her tone.
“Only a little.” Illian whispered with a tender expression, her voice soft, almost fragile, all while her breath froze before her face. “I’m much warmer now that you’re here with me.”
The realization struck Andra like a gentle blow: her mother had endured the unforgiving freezing cold the entire time... all alone.
Without a word, she lovingly nestled her head against Illian’s shoulder, tightening her grip on her mother’s hand. She brought both of her small palms around Illian’s icy fingers and rubbed them tenderly, trying her best to give what little warmth she had to her mother.
Illian glanced down at her daughter. A small weary smile graced her lips; warm, proud and aching with love.
She guided her horse forward further into the perilous cold with her daughter tucked safely at her side.
-
After an hour of riding, Illian felt Andra shivering against her.
“Alright, love. Time to go back inside.”
“B-But, I-I want to s-stay with you…” she muttered out through chattering teeth.
Illian sighed mournfully.
“I know you do, but I don’t want you getting sick. Go warm up some. Alright?”
Andra reluctantly nodded and went back inside. After a few minutes, Crystal emerged from behind the curtain and sat up front with Illian.
“Will she be alright riding by herself?” Illian asked with concern.
“I think so. I was able to wrap her up in some of the blankets and convince her to take a nap.” he replied while rubbing his hands together.
Noticing his shivers from the cold wind, she wrapped her free arm around his waist while he rested his head on her shoulder, cuddling inside her wool cape.
“How… is she taking all this?” she asked. “I know all of this must be so confusing for her.”
“I’m not sure… I-I don’t think she truly understands.” he murmured. “I don’t even understand it either. How can people be so cruel?”
“Because the world is evil…” Illian solemnly replied. “…and I fear… it will only get worse.”
Around evening time, the small overgrown trail came to end.
“We finally made it…” Illian breathed, though her voice wavered as she guided the horse to a stop. Before them stood an old cabin, half-swallowed by the forest and draped in years of neglect. A small creek, half frozen, meandered nearby. A grove of tall pine and cedar trees made up the entirety of the forest, blotting out the fading daylight.
Andra peeked through the small curtain of the wagon window.
“Mother? May I get out?”
When Illian had nodded her permission, Andra jumped out onto the snow with jubilance, a fragile sound in a dead place.
Illian assisted Crystal off the wagon, moving stiffly from the long journey. They held hands as they approached the entrance to the cabin, their fingers lingering together, both chilled to the bone.
Much to their dismay, the structure was mostly dilapidated and in poor condition.
The sound of the wooden door screeching on its rusted hinges filled the stale air. Crystal tried to muster a smile, despite gazing at the many cob webs and old furniture that was rotting away. A few broken chairs sat slumped in corners, the smell of decay and mildew hung thick, seeping from the damp logs.
“At least the roof stands.” he said softly, making light of situation.
“What is that smell?”Andra pinched her nose from the foul stench.
Crystal could hear his wife sigh mournfully as they all gazed about the small one room house.
“I know it isn’t much…” Illian muttered with a forlorn, downtrodden gaze. “…and you and Andra deserve better than this. But, it’s the best I’ve got. The southern border is at least another two day travel. But I swear, I’ll-.”
He reached up and touched her face, stilling her words.
“It will do, my darling.” he encouraged with a bright smile. “You got us here safe and sound. That’s all I can ask for.”
She leaned into his touch, closing her eyes and pressed a warm kiss into his cold palm.
“I-I’m really c-cold…” Andra interjected as she sat down by the stone fireplace, shivering violently from the evening’s plummeting temperature.
“I’ll start us a fire.”Illian blinked out of her daze and darted out the door to retrieve pre-cut firewood out of the back of the wagon.
Meanwhile, Crystal immediately went to work clearing the space and organizing the furniture inside, deciding on what can be used and what can be disposed of.
Much to his dismay, everything that was wood was already rotted. He grimaced from the foul smelling wood and threw it outside in the snow. The small cottage itself was made of large timbers with its floor a slab of bedrock.
Andra sat cross-legged on the floor, watching her father clean and her mother stack logs in the small fireplace. There was a singular window where part of the glass was cracked, allowing a small and unwanted draft into the house.
“I want to start the fire!” Andra said hopefully as she crouched down beside her mother.
“No, love. We only have two boxes of matches. We can’t afford to waste any.” Illian shook her head and lit the smaller sticks at the bottom of the stacked logs.
Andra lips pursed in disappointment. She huddled close to her mother, watching as a thin flame flickered weakly. Within minutes, she felt the warmth from the fire kindling in the fireplace.
For a moment, it almost felt safe.
“What are we going to do about food?” Crystal asked quietly, feeling his stomach rumble from hours of not eating.
“Jenny packed what she could… enough for a few days. After that, I’ll have to hunt. The creek is too frozen to fish.” Illian replied with a grim tone.
Crystal nodded, though his expression was distant.
Would they even be able to last that long?
After unloading what little they had and securing her horse in the nearby dilapidated shed, Illian bolted the cabin door from within.
Crystal rationed out the food for that night’s supper. All ate silently by the fire.
Illian stared into the fire as she ate, her thoughts unreadable. The faint firelight flickered off the walls.
“Mother, are we going hunting tomorrow? Can we play by the creek too? Why is everything rotted? When are we going home?” Andra asked a series of questions with an innocent display of excitement.
Illian’s heart clenched.
“There is a lot of work to do in the morning, and I’m going to need your help.”
Andra’s eyes lit up.
“Really? What kind of work?”
“You’ll see.” she replied, ruffling her daughter’s hair. “For now, eat your dinner and prepare for bedtime.”
“But where are we going to sleep? There is no bed.” Andra tilted her head in confusion.
Crystal jumped up and spread a thick blanket near the fireplace.
“This is where we will sleep! It’s like a camping trip!”
Andra beamed with excitement as she gobbled down the last of her food and lay down to sleep on the makeshift bedding.
Soon after, she felt a kiss on the cheek from both her mother and father.
Within minutes, she fell fast asleep.
Crystal slumped back against the wall watching as Illian stoked the fire. The silence between them was fragile. Her eyes remained fixed on the flames.
“We can’t keep it burning during the day.” she finally spoke, breaking the silence.
He furrowed his brows and looked at her, weary.
“Why?”
“Smoke gives us away.” she whispered. “A house like this shouldn’t be lived in. If anyone sees smoke, they’ll come looking. And if they come…”she trailed off, her voice hardening. “They’ll find us.”
He swallowed hard, saying nothing, his eyes growing heavy by the second.
“Rest.” she said. “You’re exhausted.”
“So are you.“ he argued back weakly.
She leaned in and kissed him once on the lips, fleeting and trembling.
“I’ll manage.”
Crystal gave her doubtful look.
“Illian-“
“It’s fine, Crystal. Sleep.” she insisted with a firm look.
He sighed mournfully and laid down beside Andra, pulling the blanket tight over them, feeling his body succumb to sleep. The fire popped softly in the background.
Illian sat in silence long after they drifted off to sleep, her eyes fixed on the flames until they blurred. For half of the night, she kept the fire going, ensuring that the cabin was kept warm despite the below freezing temperatures that blazed around them outside.
Now, in the stillness of the night, reality had finally sunk in. Her mind spun endlessly, analyzing every task, every chore, planning on how they were to manage surviving until spring.
She thought of escape routes, food, danger… the image of soldiers at their door ready to shackle them and take them away to be slaughtered.
A cold icy shudder went through her. She leaned against the wall, gazing at her family sleeping. They looked so peaceful, fully unaware of the dire situation.
She envied them.
Fear and impending dread pressed into her chest until it hurt to breathe, leaving her gasping for air.
For all her years of strength and command, she felt so small.
Helpless.
Like prey hiding from the hunter that would soon one day, inevitably, find it.
When the fire burned low, she quietly extracted the ashes and buried them in the snow outside, erasing any trace of warmth.
The room was soon plunged into cold darkness. She made her way back inside, trying to not stumble from the lack of light. Once her eyes adjusted, she propped herself against the wall near the bed and sank to the damp floor.
It was only then did she allow herself to weep, silently crying for her family whose lives were overturned in an instant and the dire future that soon awaited them.
Feelings of doubt engulfed her, making her question everything.
Would she be able to protect her family from the evilness of this world?
Or shield them from the harsh winter?
Or starvation?
Illness?
Death…?
When her tears ran dry, she laid down beside her husband and child, her arms wrapping around them as if her presence alone could hold back the entire world.
Sleep eventually took her.
But it wasn’t restful.
Nor peaceful.
-
The next morning, Crystal was awakened by the chilling cold that permeated through the cabin. He glanced over noticing that Andra was still asleep, but Illian was gone. The sight alone sent him into a panic.
Meanwhile, Illian was already toiling outside in the snow, inspecting the cabin for any repairs, chopping firewood, clearing snow around the woodpile and cabin paths, tending to her horse, and looking for any sign of animal tracks.
Crystal walked outside, wrapped in a shawl, his breath condensating into a small cloud.
“Illian?!”
“Crystal!” Illian jumped from fright, pulled out her daze. “Good morning, my love. Are you alright?” she replied with a concerned look.
Crystal sighed a breath of relief.
“Oh! I’m fine. I was just startled that you weren’t there when I woke up.” he explained.
Illian watched as he shivered from the cold. His body wasn’t used to cold temperatures.
“Ah, I just thought that I’d get a head start on chores… there is a lot to do.” she resumed splitting the wood. Cold sweat rolled off of her brow with every stroke of tool.
“What can I do?” he asked with enthusiasm.
“It’s quite alright.” she paused. “I’ve got it sorted. Just go back inside where it’s warm.”
“B-But, I want to help.”
She shook her head.
“I don’t want you getting hurt. It’s to dangerous out here. Don’t worry, I’ll manage.”
Crystal furrowed his brows and folded his arms.
“No, Illian, I’m not going to sit idle while you do all the work.”
She huffed, getting more irritated by his indignation.
“Crystal, I’ve got it.”
Anger rose in his chest.
“No! I want to help!”
“Then help me by doing as I say!” she raised her voice. “We can’t afford any sickness or injuries, Crystal! This isn’t some winter vacation getaway, this is survival! We are alone and can’t afford anything going wrong!”
He lowered his head, tears brimming in his eyes.
“I-I just want to ease your burden. You have so much your carrying already… I just…” he muttered as he wiped his eyes.
Her heart twisted.
“Crystal…” she dropped the axe and embraced him. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to raise my voice at you…”
He melted into her, feeling her strong comforting warmth surround him.
“I know, I’m sorry too.” he looked up at her. “B-But there must be something I can assist you with? Please?”
She sighed in defeat.
“We will need water. Take that bucket and gather the fresh snow… tonight we will boil it.” she instructed.
Meanwhile, Andra had rose from where she slept and wandered outside.
“Father? Mother? Where is everyone?”
“We are right here, my darling!” Crystal expressed with a warm smile. “You want to help me pick up snow?”
Andra nodded enthusiastically and darted away, picking up snow and throwing it into the bucket.
However after a few minutes, she abandoned the task out of boredom and began playing instead. She gathered up a handful of snow, making it into a ball, and threw it at her father.
“Got you!” she laughed lightheartedly.
“Andra, darling.” Crystal sighed, grimacing slightly. “Please stop playing in the snow and help me gather it into this bucket here.”
“I don’t want to do that anymore!” she retorted as she picked up another snowball and threw it at him. “I want to play instead!”
“D-Darling, please stop!” he raised his voice at her.
“Andra!” Illian called out.
Andra gasped in horror hearing her mother’s gruff voice and lowered her head.
“Y-Yes, Mother?”
“Come here. Now!”
Andra trudged over to where Illian was working with her eyes glued to the ground.
“You disobey your Father again and I will punish you severely, do you understand me?” Illian stated sternly.
Andra timidly nodded.
“Take all this firewood into the cabin and resume helping your Father.” Illian ordered while splitting more wood.
Andra sighed with a frown seeing all the pieces of wood lying in the snow. She didn’t understand why she couldn’t play. Why was everyone being so stern?
Regardless, she carried five loads of wood inside and set them beside the hearth. She breathed in and out heavily, feeling the cold air permeate through her lungs, burning them slightly. Her hands were beginning to become numb as the snow soaked into her gloves. A chill ran up her spine making her shiver and she broke out into a sweat, but forced herself to carry out the task so that she wouldn’t get in trouble again.