Chapter Text
That night after eating their dinner, Shen Yuan had expressed his desire to work on a project before going to bed.
“What project?” Liu Qingge had asked, causing Shen Yuan to perk up, chatting away as he pulled his worn out bag closer to him.
“Well! You remember how I gathered the Jewel-Armored Bear scales yesterday?” Shen Yuan asked. Resting at the top of his bag was the Cavern Ash Panther pelt, which folded up into a surprisingly small rectangle. He pulled it out and placed it to the side with an absentminded pat before returning to his bag and pulling out the much larger scaled hide of said bear. Though the room was by no means dark in the candle light, the iridescent scales still let off a glowing orange light that cast itself across Shen Yuan’s face.
Liu Qingge’s breathing stuttered momentarily as Shen Yuan smiled at him from over the hide.
“Mn,” Liu Qingge hummed in response, taking a sip of his lukewarm tea to help rehydrate his suddenly dry mouth.
Shen Yuan reached back in his bag and pulled out his… ‘field notes,’ as he called it, and flipped to the back of the book with a soft frown pulling on his face.
“Ah, I’m going to need to make another notebook soon. But here!” Shen Yuan said, pushing the opened book across the table and nearly knocking over a lit candle in the process. Wax droplets splattered outwards in a jerky motion onto the table, landing mere centimeters away from the book.
Liu Qingge picked the book up carefully, shooting Shen Yuan an admonishing look before looking at the fresh sketch on the page.
“You’re making armor?” Liu Qingge asked, eyes taking in the main aspects of Shen Yuan’s design. It was simplistic but functional, designed like common leather shoulder armour but modified to add extra padding around Shen Yuan’s left side. Liu Qingge approved.
“Yes! Just for my stump, though,” Shen Yuan said with a sigh.“I probably should have added extra protection around it years ago— Ah, well I never really had a chance to think about it until recently.”
Liu Qingge looked up from inspecting Shen Yuan’s armor design to see the man casting a slightly morose look at his empty left side and felt his brow furrow in response.
“Does it hurt now?” Liu Qingge asked, setting the book down gently on the table and shifting as though to get up, only to be waved off by Shen Yuan.
“Don’t worry about it,” Shen Yuan said, his smile back in place on his face. “I purchased new bandages in town today, which are helping a lot more than my last set was.” He hummed thoughtfully. “In fact, its been quite a while… I suppose I should probably take them off now.”
Shen Yuan began to stand up, but now it was Liu Qingge’s turn to stop him.
“Just do it here. I’ve already seen you change them.”
“A-ah! Right,” Shen Yuan exclaimed, the orange glow of the beast hide making his cheeks appear to be an even darker shade of red with the force of his blush. He hesitated only a moment, his sharp, searching gaze taking in Liu Qingge before he settled back down.
“Then, if you don’t mind…” he said, ducking his head and removing the top half of his robes.
Liu Qingge didn’t mean to stare, but much like the first two times he had witnessed Shen Yuan do this, he found himself unable to tear his gaze away for a moment.
The new bandages were, indeed, of a much better quality than his previous ones — thicker and unstained, the edges properly hemmed and not yet fraying. However, the new thickness of the bandages did nothing to hide the lightly muscled chest that they wrapped around.
Realizing that he was staring, Liu Qingge felt his ears start to burn and went to look away when his gaze caught on a series of thin, slightly raised scars that slashed up and down Shen Yuan’s torso. Though they were large, there weren’t many of them and they were clearly quite old with how pale they were. He wouldn’t have noticed them had it not been for the close proximity of the luminescent bear hide causing them to cast a slight shadow.
Unbidden, the image of Shen Yuan’s back, filled with dozens of thick, crisscrossing red and white scars entered his head and he felt his stomach twist. He clenched his hands tightly where they rested on his knees, fighting to stay silent.
Surprisingly, as Shen Yuan removed the last layer of his bandages, he too seemed to be taken aback by the scars. His hand froze in wrapping up the bandages, but he quickly finished the job and, with his hand now free, slowly moved his hand back to trace the thickest scar lightly with his fingers.
“Are they always this noticeable?”
Liu Qingge startled at the slightly defeated note that had entered Shen Yuan’s voice and floundered for a moment as he considered how to respond.
“Not those ones,” he eventually landed on, unsure if it was the right thing to say.
Shen Yuan, however, simply nodded and turned his gaze away to unscrew his ointment jar.
For reasons he couldn’t explain, Liu Qingge’s eyes followed Shen Yuan’s hand as he began to rub the ointment into the marred skin of his stub. His eyes narrowed as he observed how red and puffy the area looked, especially around the jagged edges where the skin had been clearly unprofessionally sewn together.
“You should let Mu Qingfang examine you when we get to Cang Qiong,” Liu Qingge found himself saying, earning a surprised glance from Shen Yuan. “It shouldn’t be that inflamed.”
Shen Yuan hummed noncommittally and looked away, continuing his careful ministrations.
“Mu Qingfang is the Peak Lord of Qian Cao Peak, right?” Shen Yuan asked.
“He is,” Liu Qingge said, stretching his fingers out from their clenched grasp and watching as Shen Yuan carefully closed his ointment jar before placing his robes back over his shoulders. For some reason, Liu Qingge found himself adding, “You two will get along. We should see him before I take you to the Sect Leader.”
“Eh?” Shen Yuan looked up at him, his surprise quickly replaced with a teasing grin. “What happened to needing to ‘verify my claims,’ Peak Lord Liu?”
Liu Qingge felt his ears — only just beginning to cool down from when he caught himself shamelessly staring at Shen Yuan — heat up again. Shen Yuan noticeably perked up at the sight.
“Do you want me to be suspicious of you?” Liu Qingge asked with a huff, quickly downing the rest of his now cold tea.
“Of course not, Qingge!” Shen Yuan exclaimed, faux surprise coloring his tone. “This lowly one is honored that the great Peak Lord Liu, the War God of Bai Zhan Peak, is willing to put so much trust into this one’s character!”
Despite the obvious teasing Shen Yuan was levying at Liu Qingge’s expense, he felt the still unfamiliar tug of a smile pulling at his lips.
He didn’t fight its pull, allowing the small smile to rest on his face. Shen Yuan’s eyes flickered, his teasing surprise quickly being replaced with something warmer as his smile softened.
“What ‘lowly one?’” Liu Qingge asked. He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. “Mu Qingfang would be the one testing your relation to Shen Qingqiu anyway. Whether we see him first or second is irrelevant.”
Shen Yuan hummed, clearly not entirely believing Liu Qingge’s reasoning.
“You won’t need to use Hong Jing?” He asked lightly, reaching forward and retrieving his notebook from the table.
“Only if we think you’re possessed, since you don’t show any signs of being a spirit…” Liu Qingge trailed off as something strange popped out to him. “You know about Hong Jing?”
“Huh?” Shen Yuan tilted his head at him, clearly baffled by the question. “Of course I do. Hong Jing’s a well known spiritual artifact, isn’t it?”
Liu Qingge took in the genuine confusion that Shen Yuan was showing and casually let it drop with a small hum.
“I… suppose it is, though it’s not as well known as other artifacts.”
This wasn’t a lie. The sword was a higher grade spiritual artifact and would probably be recognized and known by inner disciples in most cultivation sects. Outer disciples and smaller sects that didn’t deal often with Cang Qiong, however, would likely have never heard of Hong Jing. It was rather limited in its use, after all.
That’s why Liu Qingge was confused. After all, Shen Yuan wasn’t from a cultivation sect and had spent a decade in the Demon Realm. Did the rogue cultivator tell him about it?
But it was such an unimportant matter for a cultivator to mention to a random kid…
It was such a small detail, and yet Liu Qingge felt it nagging at him.
He pushed the thought to the back of his head as Shen Yuan’s confused gaze left him and he turned his attention back to his armor designs.
It was curious. In any other case, Liu Qingge’s hackles would have been raised in total suspicion of the man across from him.
But…
For now, it was just curious. He made a note of the discrepancy and, despite himself, he began to slowly relax as he aided Shen Yuan in assembling the bear hide into the armor he envisioned.
***
The next morning, Shen Yuan marched his way into Liu Qingge’s room with a precariously balanced tray of tea and breakfast.
Liu Qingge, in the process of looking over his equipment as he repacked his qiankun pouch, swept his arm across the table to make space for the tray. Shen Yuan set it down in the clear space with an ungraceful clatter and a relieved sigh.
“Qingge, I believe your disciples are waiting for you downstairs,” he said, sweeping the veil of his weimao out of his face before taking it off with a huff. At the motion, his hair tumbled free of its loose hair ribbon. Shen Yuan looked down at where the ribbon had fluttered to the floor with apparent defeat.
“Why do I try?” He asked under his breath, a small frown on his lips as he picked up the hair ribbon before sitting down at the table.
“Did they see you?” Liu Qingge asked as he stood up, leaving his packing for when he returned.
“Not my face” Shen Yuan said, fiddling with the hair ribbon for a moment before dropping it onto the table. He continued as he set the dishes on the table, “They seemed to know I was with you, though. They asked me to let you know that they were getting ready to head back to the sect.”
Liu Qingge grimaced.
So they did see that, he thought, thinking back to the night before when Shen Yuan had returned his money pouch.
“I’ll be back,” Liu Qingge said, suppressing a sigh as he made his way to the door.
Shen Yuan hummed in response. As Liu Qingge closed the door behind him, he caught sight of Shen Yuan’s eyes closed peacefully as he took a sip of his tea.
He made sure to wipe away the small smile that formed on his face before he got downstairs.
Three of his disciples were indeed waiting for him downstairs, giving him poorly disguised looks of wonder and burning curiosity.
Liu Qingge ignored their quiet questions and imparted his final orders for returning to the sect.
As he turned away from the children that were barely able to conceal their disappointment, he paused and finally let out a small sigh.
“He’s a rogue cultivator who is traveling to Cang Qiong,” Liu Qingge said apropos to seemingly nothing, but he could see his disciples straighten in excitement out of the corner of his eye. He fought the urge to roll his eyes and continued, “You’ll have the chance to meet him after you return to the sect and complete your duties. Don’t gossip. Understood?”
“Yes, Shizun!” The children quickly chorused behind him, clearly buzzing with the news.
Liu Qingge nodded at them and, without another word, made his way back upstairs to Shen Yuan.
Hopefully, he thought to himself, that was enough to sate their curiosity for now.
He knew the danger of curious kids that had too little information. He hoped that offering them the idea that they may meet the cultivator might be enough to dissuade them from making up anything too outlandish in the meantime.
When he returned to his room, Shen Yuan was still pleasantly drinking his tea, the bowl of food in front of him untouched.
Liu Qingge frowned as he took his place across from Shen Yuan, quickly glancing at his own bowl of what seemed to be pork topped congee before looking back to Shen Yuan, who gave him a bright smile.
“You should have started without me. It’ll be cold now,” Liu Qingge said, accepting a cup of freshly poured tea from Shen Yuan.
“Nonsense,” Shen Yuan replied as he reached his hand out toward Liu Qingge’s bowl. After sending out a small pulse of qi, he casually removed his hand from the bowl that was once again steaming hot.
“See? Easy,” Shen Yuan said lightly as he repeated the process on his own food.
Liu Qingge huffed and picked up his chopsticks. “What a frivolous use of qi,” he said, but there was no bite to his words.
Shen Yuan rolled his eyes as he followed suit, smiling at Liu Qingge as he prepared his first bite of food.
“For a physical cultivator, perhaps,” Shen Yuan said. “But as a spiritual cultivator, small qi manipulations such as that are perfect ways to slowly expand my qi reserves and strengthen my qi manipulation.”
He paused and hummed happily as he took his first bite of congee, eyes curving into little crescents.
“Besides, all meals are best enjoyed in the company of people you like, right?” he continued after a moment, eyes dropping to his dish as his smile took on a more wistful look. “Why would anyone choose to eat alone if they have the choice not to?”
Liu Qingge swallowed down his immediate question, taking a quiet bite of his food and chewing slowly.
“I don’t eat with others often” he finally said after a moment, gaze turned onto his bowl rather than daring to look at Shen Yuan. “But my younger sister shares the same view as you. She’s too young to have found better company, so we still share most of our meals together.”
He hesitated, a slight flutter forming in his stomach. Ignoring it and steeling himself for what he wanted to say next, he located the largest chunk of meat in his bowl with his chopsticks and leaned over to place it in Shen Yuan’s bowl.
“You should join us sometime,” he finally said, already searching for another topping he could give to Shen Yuan. “She likes having new conversation partners.”
Despite his best attempts to put his focus solely on his food and self-assigned task of giving it to Shen Yuan, Liu Qingge was highly aware of how still Shen Yuan had become.
Really, the pure force behind Shen Yuan’s stare was as powerful as Shen Qingqiu’s, if not as violent. A family trait, perhaps?
Though it felt like forever, it had barely been a few seconds before Shen Yuan’s stiffness faded away into his usual languid candor, accompanied by a small huff of a laugh.
“It will be hard on you to share a meal with two people, if you insist on giving this much away when it’s just me,” he said, taking a piece of meat right out of Liu Qingge’s chopsticks with his own and leaning over to place it back in Liu Qingge’s bowl. Liu Qingge frowned down at it, but was placated as Shen Yuan continued:
“You are wonderful company, Qingge. I would be happy to eat with you and your sister sometime.”
Liu Qingge’s eyes jumped up from his bowl to find Shen Yuan smiling widely at him.
“Is she a Cang Qiong disciple? What’s her name?” Shen Yuan continued, taking a bite of his own food.
Liu Qingge hummed and took a sip of his tea
“Mingyan. She’s still too young to take the entrance test. She’s living with me on Bai Zhan until she can enter properly.”
“Eh?” Shen Yuan’s eyes widened. “She’s so young?”
“Mn,” Liu Qingge hummed, brow furrowing slightly in confusion at Shen Yuan’s reaction. “She turns ten this year, so she’ll be able to take the entrance exam next year.”
“Oh,” Shen Yuan replied thoughtfully, quickly looking Liu Qingge up and down with an assessing gaze. “You… You can’t be much younger than me, right Qingge?”
Liu Qingge’s expression cleared up as he realized what Shen Yuan was confused about.
“I am twenty-four. My parents had two other children between me and Mingyan.”
“Ah, I see,” Shen Yuan replied, still observing Liu Qingge thoughtfully. “But you’re only taking care of your sister right now?”
“Mn,” Liu Qingge affirmed, a small frown forming on his lips. “My older brothers are taking care of the other two.”
Shen Yuan jumped in his seat and looked at Liu Qingge, startled all over again.
“Eh?! How many siblings do you have?” He asked, mouth gaping,
Liu Qingge felt his brow furrow again.
“I am one of seven,” he replied. When Shen Yuan continued to look at him in seemingly total shock, he continued, “One older sister, two older brothers, and three younger sisters.”
“Holy shit,” Shen Yuan finally said in a quiet voice before seeming to shake himself out of his stupor with an embarrassed laugh, his cheeks reddening. “Ah, apologies Qingge. I thought I had a lot of siblings once, but you certainly blew my old record out of the water.”
Liu Qingge thought about that, but found himself only more confused. He knew many families who had many more children than his parents had –– it wasn’t exactly uncommon.
Outside of that, his attention couldn’t help but be drawn to a different aspect of what Shen Yuan had said.
“You and Shen Qingqiu have more siblings?” Liu Qingge asked.
Shen Yuan’s eyes widened for a moment before he seemed to flinch inwards on himself, shaking his head.
“No. It’s just me, Jiu-ge, and Qi-ge is our brother in all but blood. It’s… just us three.”
There was an undeniably sad note to Shen Yuan’s voice as the man stared down into his congee, but for the life of him, Liu Qingge couldn’t figure out what had put it there.
Liu Qingge was at a loss for what he could say.
Thankfully, Shen Yuan seemed to shake off his melancholy rather quickly and continued some light chatter over the rest of the meal, which Liu Qingge slowly relaxed into.
He made a note in his head to return to this conversation later, however.
Once the meal was over, Liu Qingge had started to place the dishes back on the tray when a soft sigh from Shen Yuan caused him to glance up.
Shen Yuan was glaring at the green hair ribbon that had fallen out of his hair, gripping it tightly in his hand as though wishing he could throttle it.
Seeing Liu Qingge raising an eyebrow at him, Shen Yuan let out an annoyed huff and threw the ribbon down on the table.
“I was able to hide the length of my hair yesterday with the weimao, but I wasn’t able to remove it without exposing myself,” he explained, leaning back on his now free hand.
“I figured if I tied it up it would be less noticeable, but…” He trailed off with a small shrug before continuing, “I underestimated how impossible it would be to tie my hair up properly with one hand.”
Liu Qingge paused for a moment before placing the dishes back down and walking to Shen Yuan’s side, picking up the hair ribbon from the table.
“Were you trying to do a top knot?” He asked, moving so that he was standing behind Shen Yuan.
Shen Yuan looked back at him with surprise.
“Qingge, you don’t have to––” He started, but Liu Qingge cut him off by raising his hands to hover over Shen Yuan’s head and raising a questioning eyebrow at him.
Shen Yuan looked at him for a moment before deflating and turning back around, giving Liu Qingge full access to his hair.
“Mn,” he finally replied and Liu Qingge only hesitated a moment before beginning to run his fingers through Shen Yuan’s hair.
Shen Yuan sighed happily and leaned into Liu Qingge’s touch.
Liu Qingge, meanwhile, was focused on keeping his breaths calm and even as he carefully brushed his fingers through Shen Yuan’s slightly dry hair.
It was familiar, in a way. Liu Mingyan’s hair had been the length of Shen Yuan’s up until she began to grow into her body more, so oddly the lack of length wasn’t particularly off putting.
But he couldn’t help but wonder…
“Who cut it?”
Liu Qingge was almost surprised when Shen Yuan laughed at the question.
“I did. This time at least,” he said, mirth clear in his voice.
“You did?” Liu Qingge asked, fingers faltering slightly before he continued his work.
“Mn,” Shen Yuan hummed in response. “It was hard to take care of in the Demon Realm, especially over the last five years. It had already been short before that, so I figured there was no harm done.”
Liu Qingge felt his lips turn into a deeper frown as he tied the hair in place.
“You didn’t cut it the first time,” he stated, his fingers lingering in Shen Yuan’s hair before he pulled away, clenching his hands tightly at his sides.
Shen Yuan raised his own hand and softly felt the top knot, shooting Liu Qingge a bright smile.
“I didn’t,” Shen Yuan confirmed, shifting to stand up and casually brushing down his new brown robes.
Liu Qingge felt a slight loss at no longer seeing Shen Yuan in his Bai Zhan robes. As the thought crossed his mind, however, he realized Shen Yuan still hadn’t given them back to him yet.
He silently swore to himself in that moment that he wouldn't be asking for them back, but quickly moved his mind back to their conversation.
“Why?”
He was really asking multiple questions with that one word. Why did you cut it? Why don’t you seem to care about it? Why was it cut the first time?
Shen Yuan only seemed to hear the last one, or at least only cared to answer that one. A wry smile curled his lips up, but the expression in his eyes was deep with pain.
“It’s easier to control someone if no one tries to help them,” he said softly, shifting his gaze to the floor as the smile fell from his face slowly. “No one… Well, no one wants to help a criminal who committed enough awful and shameful deeds that their hair was chopped off.
“Either way, I don’t really care. Hair is hair. I ended up cutting it again myself, didn’t I?” Shen Yuan continued, picking his gaze back up to smile at Liu Qingge, his usual teasing facade plastered over the sorrow underneath.
Liu Qingge was startled when he realized he could still see the emotions Shen Yuan was trying to hide.
But… What could he do about it? Should he do anything about it?
He was speaking before he even knew what was going to come out of his mouth.
“I like it,” he said, voice firm as though he were declaring war rather than giving a compliment. Shen Yuan’s smile faltered as his expression went blank, causing Liu Qingge’s heart to lurch with panic as he rushed to clarify: “Your hair. It’s practical.”
He had barely finished speaking before Shen Yuan’s smile returned, blindingly bright in a way it hadn’t been before and accompanied by a twinkling laugh.
“Would anyone ever believe me if I told them how unorthodox the Bai Zhan War God could be?” He asked and Liu Qingge felt a warm feeling fill his chest as Shen Yuan seemed to relax again.
“The Cang Qiong Peak Lords would,” he said and Shen Yuan laughed harder, his previous sadness pushed aside for the time being. “I don’t care about pointless rules. If you’re more comfortable with short hair, keep it short.”
Shen Yuan shook his head and tsked.
“It’s not quite that simple, but I appreciate the sentiment,” he said, smiling softly. “I’m glad to know there will be at least one person in my corner going forward.”
“What about Shen Qingqiu?” Liu Qingge asked.
“Ah, well of course that’s a given,” Shen Yuan said, waving his hand through the air as his smile dipped at the corners of his mouth. “He probably needs to have more people on his side than I do, though.”
He worked his lower lip between his teeth before shaking his head and sighing softly.
“My brother has always had trouble trusting others,” Shen Yuan revealed, voice soft and gaze lowered as though imparting a secret. Liu Qingge couldn’t hold back a small bark of laughter at the truism and Shen Yuan’s lips twitched.
“Mn, I’m sure you’re aware of this,” he continued, turning his soft gaze to Liu Qingge. “I do apologize if my brother has caused you any grief over the last decade.”
Shen Yuan bowed his head slightly but Liu Qingge simply shook his head at the motion.
“You worry about him.”
“Of course I do,” Shen Yuan replied, his brow furrowing briefly before a small smile tugged his lips upward again. “His usual disposition doesn’t make him many friends and he has always been quick to push people away. Even if he is a powerful Peak Lord now, I fear that he still only has me and Qi-ge to trust and I…”
He trailed off and shook his head.
“Ah, but worrying about it from afar won’t fix anything,” he said, a wry grin on his face. “I’ll be seeing him tomorrow and can assess the situation then.”
Liu Qingge nodded with a soft grunt.
“Worrying is pointless. Find a solution or accept what it is.”
“Mn. Qingge is right, of course,” Shen Yuan said, a bittersweet smile still on his face.
Shortly after that, Shen Yuan briefly returned to his room to finish getting ready to leave, allowing Liu Qingge a moment alone to gather the rest of his belongings and his increasingly errant thoughts.
He was greatly aware of just how attached he had become to Shen Yuan within what truly amounted to very little time at all.
Perhaps to those on the outside, his strong feelings would seem peculiar. Liu Qingge was known to be a passionate man, but most people struggled to see past his stubbornness and quick temper.
He had always been quick to pass judgement –– trusting in his own insights and presence of mind. Due to his strong trust in himself and his abilities, some people believed him to be mistrustful of others. This was only partially true.
Though he found it hard to trust or listen to others when he felt he knew the matter intimately well –– such as when it came to his health (despite Mu Qingfang’s disagreements, of course) –– he would always, and sometimes quickly, place his utmost faith in those he felt had proved themselves in some way, whether it be in their actions, strength, or expertise.
Shen Yuan had managed to tick all of those boxes, firmly wedging himself past Liu Qingge’s doubts and cementing himself into a place of unconditional trust in Liu Qingge’s mind and, somehow, his heart.
As time went by and Liu Qingge came to learn more about Shen Yuan, any natural hesitancy and distrust he may have still held was quick to evaporate under the man’s sheer earnestness.
Liu Qingge had met demons in the past that had tried to pass themselves as humans. He had even come across some humans who had tried to pass as other cultivators, usually in an attempt to weasel sensitive information out of others.
He had seen how those people acted and how they disguised themselves. As such, after spending so much time in the other’s company, he had no doubt that Shen Yuan was exactly who he claimed to be.
Shen Qingqiu’s long lost twin brother, clearly separated from one another in some sort of harrowing way.
This, more than anything else, is what gave Liu Qingge pause.
He had always assumed Shen Qingqiu to be a spoiled young master, much like the other wannabe-cultivators who found their way to Qing Jing Peak. Liu Qingge had met many people just like him as a child when he was still forced to attend banquets with his family.
What small amount Liu Qingge had learned about Shen Yuan’s past threw all of his observations and assumptions into a different perspective.
Shen Yuan wouldn’t speak much on the shared past of him and his brothers, which only made what little information Shen Yuan had shared seem all that more stark in comparison with what Liu Qingge had always believed in regards to Shen Qingqiu.
As Shen Yuan re-entered the room, his borrowed qiankun pouch full of different beast parts and his new scaled armor strapped like traditional shoulder armor over what remained of his left arm, Liu Qingge quickly decided that it didn’t matter where both of the Shen brothers really came from.
Shen Qingqiu would always be an asshole.
But… But if it was for Shen Yuan, then perhaps Liu Qingge could play nice.