sapphic_starlight9



Recent works

Recent series

  1. Missed Chances (And Making Up For Them) by

    Fandom The Owl House (Cartoon)

    12 Apr 2026

    Summary

    The Owl House fanfics that are about the adults when they were younger.
    They are all in the same universe but no knowledge from the others required.
    Currently, I have posted:
    - first chapter of I think I'll love you forever (a Aladrius story)
    I'm planning on posting one day:
    - a three chapter fic about Eda and Lilith. Chapter 1 is Lilith's perspective pre-canon, chapter 2 is Eda's perspective pre-canon and chapter 3 is both of them in canon and after

    Words:
    16,319
    Works:
    1
    Bookmarks:
    2

  2. aroace Isabela and Bruno Madrigal by

    Fandom Encanto (2021)

    29 Dec 2025

    Summary

    Just Isa and Bruno being aroace

    Words:
    4,894
    Works:
    1

Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark 6

    Prisoner of my own heart (Prisoner of my own mind) by

    Fandoms: Friends (TV), Chanoey - Fandom  

    14 Apr 2023

    Tags
    Summary

    Day 5:Blankets, Mental health & Clothes sharing.

    Chandler’s anxiety gets worse, he has a panic attack and Joey looks after him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,118
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    3,705
    Bookmarked by sapphic_starlight9

    08 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    I don't really want the author to read this. They probably won't. It's not that I think it's bad, the writing style is just not for me

    I've now read like three fics from this author and I can immediately tell that it's theirs. They only use capital letters for the first word in the paragraph and for the names and that's it. Everything else is lowercase

    And they repeat everything. Like, everything. Every sentence is echoed and it's so annoying. And they use "it really is. It really was. It really does" way too fucking much. I mean, calm the fuck down. Other words exist, you know? And because of the repetition, you lose focus really fast. I'm reading a paragraph (which is this really big thing, they sometimes have really long paragraphs) and everything is just being repeated and repeated and my eyes are just going past it and I'm not truly registering it

    And hey, I can't judge the grammar (even though the 'led' instead of 'lied' in every one of their fics is killing me), English's not my first language and I'm not perfect in it, even though I'm fluent and sometimes use it more than my first language. But some of these mistakes, they're not grammar, they're just stuff that happens when you type fast. And that's what you have rereads for. You have to read your work over at least two or three times before you can let someone read it. That's just something so incredibly basic. To go through the stuff you write and correct the mistakes. I can tell that this wasn't proofread even once. Because there's no way they proofread this and left all those mistypes in. No fucking way

    Also, I think the repetition is supposed to be like overthinking because Chandler is overthinking and that's just how overthinking goes sometimes, but it reads so terrible and it's so hard to get through because you get lost and distracted so incredibly fast

    I also have to comment on the plot. I really love the plot but what the fuck? Why does every fanfic I've read from this author have the same plotline? Chandler has a breakdown, Joey finds him, calms him down, Chandler asks for a cuddle and then breaks down in Joey's arms and then there is some more Joey comfort. I mean, it's lovely, but you cannot use it every single time. You Cannot. Like, the lines about Chandler asking for a cuddle and starting to cry again in Joey's arms are the exact same and that's not okay. You can use a certain plot more than once, but please, find some original words, more original scenes. You can't simply copy and paste

    Now, that I'm done complaining, I'm going to use a bookmark as my diary yet again. Idk what it is about AO3 bookmarks, they just make me feel safe and like I should pour my soul out on them and every single thought that I have ever had

    The more I read fanfiction the more I struggle with my emotions. And I mean struggle as in struggling to see if I even have them. That's a stupid thought. Of course I have emotions. It just doesn't feel like that sometimes. I read all these angst fics and I think that it couldn't happen to me again because I don't feel enough. Back when I wasn't okay, I felt much more. I was either sad all the time or the depressed kind of empty. All negative emotions were so strong. (Good thing: this is kinda helping me with knowing whether I was actually depressed or not.) Now, most of the time I'm just not feeling anything. And I don't know if that's normal. And when I do feel something, it burns fast (it fades quickly) and it kinda doesn't feel like feeling. I'm crazy, I know. How can it feel like not feeling? I don't feel like I can actually feel strong emotions. Even anxiety. I used to feel so anxious all the time and now even that is mostly gone. It's not as intense as before and it doesn't happen as much. I know that should be a good thing, because anxiety is really fucking unpleasant, but it still feels like it's a bad thing. I just don't know. I don't know.

  2. Public Bookmark 4

    Hide It by

    Fandoms: Friends (TV)  

    20 Jun 2026

    Tags
    Summary

    Ross things about what Chandler said.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    609
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    195
    Bookmarked by sapphic_starlight9

    09 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow
    THIS HURTSSSSS I ACTUALLY HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES

  3. Public Bookmark 22

    The East Window by

    Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series (TV)  

    17 Jul 2026

    Tags
    Summary

    After seeing what a Romulan looks like for the first time, Spock is facing scrutiny from the crew of the Enterprise. Though he still has his friends, can he bring himself to rely on them? Or will he stay silent until he breaks?

    Hint: it’s the latter

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,108
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    306
    Kudos:
    106
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    2,240
    Bookmarked by sapphic_starlight9

    17 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Ah, the feeling of not belonging and knowing you never will. Me too, Spock, me too

    I'm reading every update and oh my god, I love this so much. I can't believe I found this. This is exactly the kind of fanfic I go crazy for and the fact that it's regulary updating now, in June 2026, just when I'm really really really getting into Star Trek and Spock, it's so amazing.

    I love Spock and Bones's friendship. I also really love the fact that we don't have only Spock's POV, but also Jim's and Bones's. That's when you can see the worry and that's another thing I go crazy for

    I must say, it's incredibly difficult to try to help someone with depression. I'm currently in a similar situation and I feel so helpless. Especially since I had a rough few years as well and I know that not a lot could have helped me back then. I had to find my own way. But now, my friend needs help and I don't know how to help her. I can't be physically with her, not when we live far apart. I don't know what to say to her, because I know that words are just words and I'm just a chat in her phone. I can't make it a whole lot better, when she feels like her friends don't really care about her and when every romantic relationship she has, turns out bad. And I'm scared. A few years ago, we talked about not wanting to live and since then she hasn't mentioned feeling this way, but I'm scared that she does. I don't know what to do if she does. I don't know how to help someone through that. I can't tell her it's gonna get better in high school, like it did for me, because she just finished her first year in high school and it's not much better.

    Can't believe I turned this bookmark into essentially a diary. Venting about an extremely personal situation. Well, nobody's probably going to read this. And I can't just erase it. I needed to put my feelings somewhere and somewhere where it's so aesthetically pleasing to look at.

    Chapter 9 and Spock meticulously modified his answers to the depression questionnaire like it was a test for school. Wtf that is the most Spock thing EVER. I fear nobody else will ever reach this level of Spock vibes. But his results are crazy. It goes up to 80 and anything under 20 is normal. Spock got 68. And his modified for Bones results got 17. Noooooo. Now Bones is relieved, noooooo. Bones, come onnnn, you know Spock, do you really believe he would be honest about his mental health??? Please go back to being worried crazy because YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED CRAZY.

    OMG?? I SWEAR I WAS JUST DOWNSTAIRS WITHOUT MY PHONE AND THINKING ABOUT THIS FIC, HOW NICE IT WOULD IF IT UPDATED AGAIN TODAY AND THEN I GO UPSTAIRS AND I OPEN GMAIL AND THERE IT IS: CHAPTER FUCKING 10

    Okay, but Jim being like "can I hug you?" and "Spock, you're my best friend" stopppp😭😭 I love that so muchhhh

    The author said there's going to be a big confrontation between the three of them, LET'S GOOOO, I can't wait till they find out how severely depressed Spock truly is, at the same time I hope they realize some of this in the next chapter and at the same time I want the angst to continue so that the moment of them finding out hits harder

    "Why did Jim want him to stay?

    Wouldn’t he prefer solitude to poor company?"
    SO RELATABLE OH MY GODS. I SWEAR, IF MY FIRST LANGUAGE WAS ENGLISH, I WOULD HAVE THIS THOUGHT, WORD FOR WORD, BC THAT'S BEEN MY THOUGHT PROCESS SO MANY TIMES

    Mirror Bones was... A lot. I kinda expected him to betray Spock. The author said in comments that this betrayal is going to do looootssss of damage. That's going to sting

    ... Oof. That's heavy. Graphically planning suicide. It's been a while since I last read a fic with this graphic of a suicidality. God, I need for Bones and Jim to find out. Pleaseeeee, find outttt. Spock needs you two, don't let him down. I'm also afraid of what's going to happen after they find out, cause all fics say that a mentally ill crew member cannot remain on the ship or something like that

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Silent Star by

    Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series  

    22 May 2025

    Tags
    Summary

    Kirk is working at Starfleet's Department for Interplanetary Affairs, when he'd rather be in the stars. But he takes comfort from texting with his online chess buddy.

    Spock was born to be a prince, but his speech impediment makes it impossible to fit into his father's plans for him. Only in writing does he show his true self.

    But when they meet in person, not knowing each other's online identities...they could hardly get along worse.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    134,894
    Chapters:
    47/47
    Comments:
    3,429
    Kudos:
    1,201
    Bookmarks:
    231
    Hits:
    29,652
    Bookmarked by sapphic_starlight9

    22 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Omg😭 I'm on chapter 12 and Sybok just practically disowned himself. Sybok, who acted as Spock's protector. Sybok, whose role Spock will now have to fill. WHAT THE FUCK. HOW IS THAT SO REGULUS AND SIRIUS CODED????????
    "Logically, he knew none of this was because Sybok hated him, or as revenge for having tracked him down that one night. Sybok was saving himself. Like an animal from a trap, a person from a burning building. Leaving everything behind, even things he cared about.

    Maybe, if Spock hadn’t betrayed him, Sybok wouldn’t have felt so desperately trapped that he’d had to run away like that. Or maybe, if Spock hadn’t betrayed him, Sybok would have loved him enough to continue to stay for his sake."
    THAT IS THE MOST SIRIUS AND REGULUS CODED THING EVER. I AM SPEECHLESS.
    ...
    ...
    I wrote that before finishing chapter 12. I have now finished it.
    This fucking chapter. First it throws an 100% accurate Regulus&Sirius dynamic at me and then SPOCK AND JIM DECIDING TO MARRY???? IMAGINE BEING JIM AND PIKE JUST TELLS YOU "hey, so that Vulcan prince you've been spending two hours with each day, yes, that one, that won't talk to you at all. He wants to marry you" WHAT THE FUCK. HOW IS JIM SO CALM AND COMPOSED ABOUT THIS? HE WAS JUST LIKE " I can't have Spica, might as well marry a Vulcan" OH MY GOD
    Imagine being Jim. Born in an average family, middle class family. Works very hard at school bc your dream is to go to space. You do not yet get the dream after finishing school. You are given a relatively nice job. Important enough, but not enough to be known widely, publicly. Then a royal family from a more advanced and more powerful planet comes to your town. You are asked to spend two hours with the second-born prince each day. Okay, you think. It's an extraordinary experience. Then the prince doesn't speak to you. Okay. He clearly doesn't like you and doesn't wish to engage with you more. A frustrating disappointment. The whole time you're also juggling in private falling in love with an Internet stranger and almost meeting them, but they back out at the last possible minute. And then. Your boss tells you that the prince wants to marry you.

    "Tiberius: Sorry I’ve been offline so much today. I have a lot of new responsibility at work lately.

    Spica: Responsibilities you enjoy?"
    SPOCK, WHY WOULD YOU ASK THAT? YOU'RE ONLY GOING TO TORTURE YOURSELF OVER THE ANSWER

    Btw, I'm silently laughing so much at this fic (silently, of course, bc I can't have someone seeing)

    THEY ARE MARRIED! It's so fucking crazy that Spock knows they are Spica and Tiberius, and Jim doesn't.
    "Oh, Spica might kiss me exactly the same way" YOU HAVE ABSOLUTEY NO IDEA

    It is also very crazy that Jim thinks that Spock and T'Pring are dating. Girl, what? Okay, so just one chapter after I wrote those two sentences, T'Pring got married to Stonn and told Jim. That's good.

    Jim slowly adjusting to the Vulcan clock and being like "the only person who is keeping up with my new clock, is Spica. So weird she's available all the time that I'm awake. Oh, I hope she's not losing sleep bc of me" GIRL. I know logically, the fact that Spica was supposed to meet with him in San Francicsco makes it much more believable that she's human. But still. Even at the start he just assumed his correspondant was human. He didn't even entertain the idea that she might not be human. Also, I cannot fucking believe that he still thinks Spica is a girl.

    I'm just waiting for Spock to start using ASL with Jim and Jim being like "WHAT THE FUCK"

    Okay, the ASL thing didn't go as I hoped, but I knew it wouldn't. It's still progress! SPOCK, GO USE ASL WITH JIM

    "Spock paused with his hand over the screen, overwhelmed. No one had ever said anything like that to him before. He had people who loved him, yes. But he had always assumed it was difficult for them. The patience required to endure a conversation with him. Feeling rejected when he could not speak at all. It was a virtue in them to love him, nothing about himself which made it happen."
    STOP, WHY IS THIS SO RELATABLE

    I'm running out of space here and I'm only on the 20th chapter😭

    They will share a room. Spock HAS GOT to talk to Jim now

    "He slid the book Tiberius had sent him behind the other books on his bookshelf and placed his jewelry box on his dressing table where it belonged"
    Uh oh. What if Jim sees it????!

    Jim sleeping in Spock's bed and SPOCK GOING TO SYBOK'S ROOM AND SLEEPING IN HIS BROTHER'S BED. PEAK REGULUS AND SIRIUS VIBES😭😭 Also, Jim is going to be so *unnamable emotion* once he realizes Spock didn't sleep in the same bed as him

    JIM FINALLY KNOWS WHY SPOCK BARELY TALKS LET'S GOOO. THEY FINALLY SLEPT IN THE SAME BED (I really, really, really hope there's no smut in here. It would ruin the "one of the best fics I've ever read" vibe that this fic has going on)

  5. Public Bookmark 2

    [fanart] Take a break and rest you idiot (/affectionate) by for starrylol

    Fandoms: Star Trek  

    14 Apr 2024

    Tags
    Summary

    Spock needed comfort, not that he said it. Bones isn't easy to fool, though. SO it a blanket, plushy and hot beverage situation!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    388
    Bookmarked by sapphic_starlight9

    17 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Awwww