Chapter Text
This would never have happened if Keroro just came to me from the beginning for his transformation needs! Kururu found himself thinking, bitterly, faced with the horror of being stuck as a pekoponian female. I mean, what was he even thinking!? My whole goal is to invent things for the invasion! Why the hell did he think it was a good idea to go to alien ebay!?
The fact that this all happened because Keroro hadn’t just asked him for help in the beginning was what really infuriated him. What a cheapskate!
Being a pekoponian female wasn’t the worst thing in the world that had happened to Kururu. As long as everyone else was suffering, he was there. He was an individual who loved misery and trouble, so the fact that he wasn’t forced to undergo this burden alone definitely made it a lot better. But still, even with all of that, Kururu didn’t exactly like getting his choice of form stolen from him. Had he turned Giroro into a bull, a dog, and a number of other things? Yes, but that was funny! It wasn’t nearly as funny that he was now stuck in a species he hadn’t chosen for himself! It was unfair!
Kururu was the sort of person who enjoyed spying on others, hiding in the dark corner of a room, and when he was a much larger form like being a pekoponian female, that was much harder to do and no longer possible.
There’s so many robot suits I can no longer operate in this form…It wasn’t just the robot suits he wasn’t properly sized for. His chair in his lab wasn’t fitting him properly anymore, he made embarrassing typos on his keyboard when he was typing because his fingers were now a different size than the hands he had grown used to. There were a lot of little things that made Kururu’s life much more difficult that were annoying him, not that he wanted to show anyone that those things bothered him, because he hated showing vulnerability.
So, because he refused to show any weaknesses, he acted fine on the surface. He was doing okay because everybody else was miserable. Wasn’t that obvious? Kururu acted like he was experiencing no trouble at all, as he quietly seethed on the inside from the situation.
At least seeing the other members of the platoon lose was funny. Keroro’s plan to get Natsumi’s sympathy now that he was a female ended up blowing up spectacularly in Keroro’s face. I could have told you this was doomed to failure! Not that I would have, because that isn’t part of my job description. If the captain wants to make idiotic schemes, I’m just supposed to humor it. Kururu thought. There were so many of Keroro’s schemes that he hadn’t personally thought had any chance of conquering Pekopon, and yet, he had still made inventions for them.
Natsumi didn’t end up treating Keroro, Tamama, Kururu, and the other one any differently, even though they were ‘female.’ In fact, Natsumi actually ended up treating Kururu worse somehow for looking female. She said he was a ‘disappointment to the female race,’ in her own words. The loathing in her voice had been driven up to 11.
I’m kinda flattered she thought I could make girls worse overall by being one! That she thought I ruined the female race by being included as one. It kinda makes me want to stay as a girl just to annoy her. Kururu thought. Not that he was going to, because he didn’t actually want to be a girl.
Natsumi also clearly thought Kururu was a pervert taking advantage of the situation and was caught trying to decide between disgust at Kururu being a pervert towards himself, or if she should tie him up to prevent himself from groping himself to protect women’s boobs as a whole because Kururu deserved to touch absolutely 0 boobs, even if some of those boobs were his own. It was sort of funny to watch her battle with herself internally, the conflict washing over her face evident every time she looked at Kururu.
It was especially funny whenever Kururu tried to flirt with anyone in front of her, it gave Natsumi a clear disgusted shudder. Unless that person was Giroro. Then she beat him up. So far the only people Kururu had been able to flirt with in front of Natsumi that made her nauseous instead of angry was strangers. And unfortunately, when Kururu flirted with strangers too, Natsumi’s reaction seemed to rub off on them, because they also cringed and shuddered (Which was of course the intended reaction, but still…secretly Kururu was a tad annoyed that nobody had even considered taking him up on his flirtatious offers so he could then break some hearts. It hurt a little that nobody was seeing him as a cute girl. What made him so different than Giroro or Keroro?
Kururu actually knew why. The pekoponian female form he had been cursed with was ugly. Whenever people saw his face, naturally they cringed and shuddered. As Moa liked to say ‘it’s what was inside that counted’ and Kururu’s insides---well, he was proud of how nasty they were!
My female robot suit was designed LOADS better than this shoddy product! Kururu found himself bitterly thinking. Even he didn’t quite like how he looked! Sure, there were similarities with his robot suit, it’s just---it felt inferior.
Sure, he still had the same curls, thick hair that curled into strange spirals, although it looked more unnatural on the new form instead of on Kururuko. Kururuko’s hair felt like it made more sense because it was made out of metal, and the metal had rolled up that way. Hair wasn’t naturally supposed to curl that way though, and yet his did. And it looked so much more textured since it was hair instead of smooth metal. The unnatural curls curled down instead of up, because they couldn’t do anything right. He could comb them down to being long, straightened locks, but eventually the locks would curl naturally up again as if he was constantly using some sort of 50s hair curler. The hair was a light yellow instead of orange, different from his robot suit. If he were to describe the color of the light yellow, it would be #EADFB2, nothing as bright as his normal skin color, and when it came to pekoponian blondes it wasn’t even the best looking one, everybody knew the prettiest blonde hair was # E7D484! And sure, some people would say that’s not a huge difference in hexcodes, “Oh, Kururu, those are both sort of close in color!” and then I’d respond with “YOU’RE AN IDIOT! THOSE TWO COLORS COULDN’T BE MORE DIFFERENT!” I’m a professional when it comes to design, and those two things couldn’t be more different! It was actually insulting to compare them. It was the difference between a boring natural shade, and something just slightly imperfect and unnatural, and thus it matched the whole aesthetic much better and formed a very beautiful picture---Er, actually that doesn’t really matter…Kururu started feeling a little embarrassed at his mental tirade. It had nothing to do with anything, clearly---he was getting ahead of himself! Stop mentally ranting about hexcodes, you’re stewing over something deeply unimportant! It doesn’t matter what the prettiest blonde hair is! Kururu reminded himself.
There were other things ugly and wrong about this form besides that all blonde hair was inferior unless it was the perfect color, and then it was okay---again, deeply unimportant gripe.
He had his usual cap on, of course, although it felt strange being on top of a head of hair. At least the cap was familiar though, it was the same orange color as his keronian one, with the same spiral. His headphones still covered his ears but they could be removed, they couldn’t connect to tech or extend, and they weren’t connected to him. They were just normal headphones, and it felt like he was missing a basic sense without his more high-tech ones. Not only that but they made his hearing worse when they were covering his ears instead of better. It was frustrating!
His mouth was the same twisted smile as it always was, which seemed to give people chills on the street. His spine was bent with a hunch and he looked gangly and creepy, his limbs too tall in places like leg and elbow, like he could perch on a chair and just loom over people in a much less threateningly cool way and more ‘just plain ugly’ way. The worst part was that his spiral glasses were gone! I loved my spiral glasses! I hate people looking at my eyes! Hell, even looking at his eyes on this defect of a body even creeped him out. His eyes were large brown and a piercing gaze that gave him the chills. Those weren’t his eyes, and it made him just as uncomfortable seeing them as everyone else felt when they had to look at him. His glasses frames were all wrong too. They were professional looking, and looked like he was just a normal girl, the frame didn’t cover the top, and they were a light orange color. They were normal and boring frames.
Even his skin was wrong. His skin was pale, and discolored from always soaking in the darkness. It made him look ill.
His clothes were ugly too. He was wearing a yellow dress, a jacket over it that was short sleeved, the sleeves and shoulders were orange. He had neat, professional looking buttons buttoned all the way down his chest, and his chest was impressively big.
Probably from all that time spent looking at Aki Hinata. The world said ‘oh, you want to monetize big boobs? Here you go!’ Kururu wanted to laugh. There were things about Aki Hinata he had never thought like ‘man that woman’s spine must hurt A TON’ but now he knew the weight she carried. It wasn’t the least bit funny. And apparently the massive bazongas weren’t even hot enough to manipulate any pekoponians because whoever he tried to con into buying a scam with his chest on the line for seduction, they just took one more look at his face and went running. Kururu had been an ugly keronian, and he was an ugly pekoponian woman too.
He had a red spiral for a tie, tied with a yellow necktie, and a belt dividing the upper section of his dress from the lower section with the miniskirt. The belt had his spiral on the emblem, but Kururu didn’t particularly like it much either. Belts are Giroro’s thing, not mine! But he needed something to attach objects to hold them. He had long yellow gloves with a watch that was connected to some of his devices, which he had to build himself after this transformation and was thus his favorite part by default. The watch showed off another spiral. His skirt was more of a skort than anything, kinda dorky, not cute at all. His socks didn’t reach his knees but were higher, and were just normal yellow. The shoes were slip on ones with yellow ribbons that seemed to mock him. They were Orange. He was a lot of yellow and orange and even he knew it looked tacky!
The little pleasure he took in this new appearance was forcing others to bear witness to it, mostly Natsumi, because since she was ‘ohhh so offended’ by him trying to blackmail her into modeling outfits so he could sell pictures of it online, he’d intentionally let Natsumi walk in on him taking pictures of himself without a shirt on, to sell that online too, just to bother her.
“DO THAT IN YOUR OWN SPACE!” Natsumi would scream, not the least bit protective of Kururu’s chastity.
“Not going to protect my female presenting nipples? Ku, ku, ku? I thought you hated how I objectify women! Shouldn’t you stop me?” Kururu mocked.
“Your body, your choice, I really don’t care!!! It’s better than me or my mom!” Natsumi would say, and Kururu felt sort of offended that she wasn’t trying to protect his modesty.
He of course, did not actually sell nudes of himself online. He toyed with the idea since he had no real attachment to the body, and it would be nice to make a quick buck but he was a little afraid he’d lose more money than make a profit. Selling skeevy photos online of girls wasn’t as easy as a lot of people seemed to think it was. It required choosing the right outfits for modeling, a lot of photoshop editing and photography skills to make the subject of the photo look their best. It was a lot of work and effort to edit those things into being a good product, and unfortunately, Kururu knew that his face was a bit of a turn-off. Even if I sell nudes of myself without my face in them, my proportions are still slightly eerie. He was an expert in what looked good for pekoponian women, and his body did not look good, even if he sold a photo with only boob in it! So Kururu gave up on his get rich quick scheme.
Besides Natsumi, the other main victim that he tormented with his pekoponian female transformation was unfortunately Saburo. Obviously, in the beginning, Kururu hadn’t planned on choosing Saburo as a victim he was going to tease about this. Saburo was his friend! Often Saburo managed to avoid Kururu’s little pranks, by nature of being Kururu’s best friend. Kururu didn’t like picking on him as much as anyone else, because he actually enjoyed his company, and didn’t want Saburo to think badly of him.
This situation was different though. It wasn’t about Saburo thinking poorly of him. It was about teaching him a lesson.
It started after one day of this forced transformation of being female. Kururu had gone to get coffee with Saburo, and had started angrily venting to him about the whole situation.
“How dare Keroro go to a scummy ebay seller instead of me!” Kururu had complained, while Saburo politely listened. “The only reason we’re in this situation is because he had the gal to try to get some other inventor to provide tech for his schemes! I’d never have created such faulty work!”
“So…You’re more upset about your pride being hurt than being female…?” Saburo had asked, trying to politely listen.
“No, obviously not! I hate being a pekoponian girl too! Ugh! Do you know how much boobs hurt! My back is in so much pain! I’m in utter agony. And my hair is ugly, and I have hair and it’s annoying and I have earlobes!” Kururu just complained and complained, confiding in his friend. All things considered, it was a rather normal venting session.
Nothing had gone wrong until someone around them had assumed they were on a date. With Kururu no longer a male frog, apparently there were a number of pekoponians who didn’t seem to understand that men and women could be just friends. If Kururu looked female and was sitting in front of him having coffee, they were obviously on a date, and not just hanging out.
The high school girl with brown hair had walked over to their table with a piece of paper in hand. She had then gotten shy when she had seen Kururu. Her friend, another black haired girl, had pushed the first girl into approaching them anyway. The brown haired girl had bowed with the scrap of paper and shyly handed it over to Saburo. “Oh, um---”
“She wanted to ask you for your phone number!” Her friend giggled. “She was staring at you while we waited for our coffee and you look like a model!”
“Don’t say that!” The girl said, embarrassed. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to bother you. I didn’t realize you were out with your girlfriend…”
It wasn’t uncommon for girls to approach Saburo to hit on him. Often times the girls didn’t realize there was an invisible yellow frog next to him, so it was somewhat funny for Kururu to watch Saburo have to politely turn people down. Sometimes Kururu toyed with the idea of telling Natsumi that Saburo was regularly hit on by a number of people. He had decided not to do that though, because he didn’t want Natsumi to start getting more extreme with her crush and make Saburo’s life harder.
“Oh, uh. He’s---I mean, she’s not my girlfriend. She’s not even my type.” Saburo smiled politely. “I’m sorry to say, I’m not interested in dating right now.” Saburo smiled politely, “I only give my phone number to friends. I’m sure you’ll find someone a lot better for you, that’s worth your time more than I am, who will make you smile.” He gave a flashy smile like he was an idol or something. The girl’s eyes sparkled, touched that he was wishing for the best for her.
The brown-haired girl giggled, despite being rejected. “Oh yeah, I uh, I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions about you and her.” She blushed, embarrassed. “But I see what you’re saying. I wasn’t, uh, quite sure she was anyone’s type.” She insulted, shooting Kururu a glare.
Girl’s are so catty, especially when fighting over a boy. Kururu thought.
“Excuse you, glasses girls are some people’s types.” Kururu argued, sending the girl a malicious glare.
Both girls immediately took a step back after hearing Kururu speak. After all, for some reason the gender swapping technology hadn’t changed the keronians voices whatsoever. Keroro and Tamama both sounded plenty feminine already, so it wasn’t really a problem, but Giroro and Kururu had deeper and more masculine sounding voices. “Uhhhh, y-yeah. B-but it’s. It’s not just that….” The girl awkwardly responded. “Anyway. Bye!” She said hastily as the two girls ran off.
Saburo chuckled lightly. “I think maybe she thought you were a male crossdresser.” He gossiped. “Those poor girls looked like you showed them a new perspective on life, as if neither of them knew that males could even cross-dress! You really opened someone’s mind, Kururu!” He praised.
Kururu for once didn’t laugh with Saburo. Instead, he shot a bitter glare at Saburo. “Why didn’t you defend me?” Kururu hissed, bitterly.
“What’s that now?” Saburo did a double-take, as if he hadn’t expected Kururu to be offended. He blinked, as if trying to figure out why Kururu even looked upset with him.
“When they insulted my looks, why didn’t you defend me?” Kururu found himself asking, “Aren’t you supposed to be my friend or something?”
“I am.” Saburo hurriedly defended. “But how we look wasn’t something that mattered to our friendship, right? If looks mattered to our relationship, well, I’m not sure we’d be friends, with one of us looking human and the other one looking like an alien frog.” He pointed out philosophically. Unfortunately, all of Saburo’s usual philosophical poetry just made Kururu feel more insecure and worse.
“I don’t currently look like an alien though…” Kururu argued.
“But you’ve never really cared about superficial stuff like looks.” Saburo pointed out, and shrugged, as if he knew Kururu better than Kururu did. “And besides that, that girl was more sensitive than you are. She was already getting rejected. I didn’t want to make her feel worse.” Saburo clearly thought they had put the discussion to rest and he had provided a good enough answer for Kururu, as he changed the subject and asked what music he was listening to.
Unfortunately, Saburo wasn’t right about Kururu. Kururu was a sensitive guy. His feelings were very sensitive. And even though he knew he wasn’t Saburo’s type, and he knew he should be happy that their relationship hadn’t changed any from the transformation, instead of feeling grateful, his insecurities started making him feel bitter towards Saburo. It felt almost like, since Saburo hadn’t defended him, that Saburo was practically saying Kururu was ugly, as a human and as a frog. And all the rejection he had faced as a keronian for looking creepy and ugly came back to haunt him as Saburo became a source to direct all his bitterness.
Fine! If I’m so ugly, I’m taking you down with me! Kururu found himself thinking. This is going to be so funny. Just you wait, so many girls are going to think I’m your girlfriend even though you don’t want them to! The crime deserved a proper punishment, and since Saburo clearly was offended that people thought he was dating Kururu because Kururu wasn’t his ‘type’, Kururu was going to utterly destroy his reputation by making everyone around Saburo believe that. Oh, I can already see Natsumi exploding in jealous rage~! He’d make something good out of being a pekoponian female. This could still be funny. He’d have his fun. Maybe Saburo, Natsumi and Kururu could be the next big love triangle. Watching Keroro, Tamama and Moa was a little old anyway, and usually Kururu didn’t like watching the Giroro/Natsumi/Saburo love triangle since he thought Saburo deserved better than Natsumi. Natsumi/Saburo/Kururu could be the mess that topped all other messes.
He laughed evilly as Saburo remained completely unaware about what his next month and a half would be like.
Kururu seemed to be the only one actually working to return to being a keronian. Because everything was always on his shoulders to fix. He was the intelligence officer and that meant testing things on himself, making himself do things to try to trigger the particular activation switch. Everyone else got to laze around on their asses, but not him! Everybody left the work always to him!
Keroro thought his life was soooo hard, with his relationships changing, and Tamama upping his flirt game and Fuyuki apparently having one traumatic boner that Kururu would never let him forget. The captain doesn’t realize what he has! If everything around him is changing, it means he’s actually pretty or something! I sure do wish any of my relationships would change from this transformation! Kururu found himself thinking.
It was like Moa liked to say, beauty is only skin deep. (That girl loved her pekoponian idioms). Except Kururu’s inner beauty was non-existent. He was a twisted, ugly guy who was a terrible person. His outsides matched his insides. So, if nobody was treating him differently, it meant his new outsides were also ugly.
He wished that he’d get some fresh, new, interesting reactions. It had been sort of nice to be treated like he was cute as Kururuko for a moment (before he pulled the rug out underneath everyone and revealed himself as Kururu)
But everyone just saw Kururu exactly the same. Natsumi thought he was the same creep as always, Saburo wasn’t the least attracted to him because Kururu wasn’t his “type”- he knew Kururu well enough already to know there was nothing he wanted there, everybody treated Kururu exactly the same because he was the same ugly thing. Moa was exactly the same around him, kind and affectionate and waaay too helpful, and it annoyed him! Could she at least act sort of shocked by him being a girl now, or have some sort of interesting reaction, give him something???? Nope! She was the same Moa as always! Because she saw what was underneath the covers of a person’s outer appearance. The outsides didn’t matter to her, just the insides. It was a mystery what inner beauty insides she saw in Keroro Which made him angrier that it was another confirmation that he didn’t particularly look special!
So yeah, Kururu was suffering! He was angry. He absolutely hated being a girl! But he wasn’t a loud, whiny baby like Keroro was. And Saburo only knew the surface level stuff like ‘boobs hurt’ and ‘I’m doing so much work, it’s so annoying, but at least ruining your life and reputation is funny, am I seriously not your type?’ and Saburo would have to tell him again and again that no, not at all, and haha very funny, please get over the joke! And yet, Kururu did not get over the ‘joke’.
There were also huge things unfair about this transformation that made it even more evident that Kururu was ‘the unfavorite’ in the Hinata House. For one thing, all of the keronians realized the first night that their beds needed to be a different size to fit them with their larger female pekoponian bodies.
Dororo of course was fine, his futon was Koyuki’s size, and Tamama was rich with a massive bed that should not be holding a little frog, but Giroro, Kururu and Keroro? Their beds just did not hold them at all! Giroro’s sleeping bag was tiny. Keroro’s futon was tiny! And Kururu slept in a closet!
“Mom has a spare futon in her bedroom.” Natsumi had sighed, figuring out the solution for Keroro fairly quickly. “Not that you deserve it. Sleep on the hard floor!”
“Nooo, that’s too cruel!” Moa had said protectively, “Uncle will hurt his---or would it be her, cute little bones!” She squeed.
Natsumi sighed and relented. “Giroro---His tent is way too tiny for him, and also I don’t feel great about letting a woman sleep in my backyard when there are creeps wandering the neighborhood---”
“I’ve got guns! I love shooting creeps. I’ll be fine.” Giroro had said gruffly. “There are massive perverts in this world but I’m not going to let that prevent me sleeping outside. I’ll just blow them up with my grenade!”
“A-as I said, I don’t feel comfortable with it, it feels wrong!” Natsumi frowned, “So Giroro will be sleeping in the house until you’ve solved this issue, which will probably be pretty soon.”
“So, I bring my tent into the living room? That’s a little sexist, Natsumi! I can take care of myself!” Giroro argued.
“Your tent won’t fit you anymore! Neither will your sleeping bag!” Natsumi growled, frustrated, “You’ll sleep in my room for now.”
“What. What? What? What? What? What! N-no! Nope! I can sleep in Fuyuki’s room!” Giroro turned bright red.
“Don’t volunteer my room. I don’t want to share.” Fuyuki whined.
“You’re a girl currently, Giroro! I can’t let you share a room with my younger brother!” Natsumi frowned.
“Then Keroro’s---”
“He’s a male at heart. He’s going to feel weird sleeping around a girl with your body! It can only be me. I’m not happy about this either, but I feel like I should at least try to keep you safe, you know? None of this was your fault. It was the stupid frog’s!” All of Natsumi’s sexism turned to Giroro and went into overprotective mode.
“Actually, I’ve slept in a room with Lady Moa and it went fine---” Keroro offered.
“ARGHHH! JEALOUSY! You won’t be sleeping in a room with her whatsoever!” Tamama screamed, distracting Keroro by jealously fighting with Moa in the background.
Giroro continued trying to arguing with Natsumi about sharing a bedroom with her, secretly super embarrassed.
“What about me?” Kururu asked, scowling and feeling insulted that he had been left out. “I can’t fit in the closet space I have my bed in now. Am I shacking up with Natsumi too? Ku, ku, ku.”
“NO!!!!” Giroro and Natsumi both screamed at the same time.
“We have female dormitories, Kururu.” Keroro sighed, reminding him of the common sense solution that strangely hadn’t existed for Giroro, “You can just use that for now?” And he didn’t pay any further attention to Kururu’s problems.
But Kururu didn’t want to be outside the lab and he grumbled about that a lot. He grumbled extra hard when the female dormitory wasn’t even that awful of an experience, because Moa had left him a nice warm plate of curry, nice fresh pillows, blankets, and weird spiral stickers around the temporary space to make it feel like home, while taking out some of the light switches and moving some of his equipment to his new temporary room. Her attempts at making the whole thing homey made him hate it more because he absolutely loathed her kindness.
He especially hated how that night before he went to bed, she checked up on him now that they had a closer proximity.
“Do you need anything before I go to bed, Kururu?” Moa offered, yawning, and sleepy.
“No. You go to bed.” Kururu scoffed.
“But you’re the guest!” Moa tiredly yawned, “And I want to make things comfortable for you while you have to stay here… Natsumi’s being so nice to Giroro, so I want to follow her example.”
“Natsumi’s being nice to Giroro because she’s got a fondness for him and favoritism that only Giroro doesn’t know about.” Kururu snapped. “I don’t need anything, especially not from you.” He growled. “What are you expecting me to say? That I need a milk and cookie and a kiss good night because that that’s the only way I can sleep well?” He sarcastically mocked, “You need to go to sleep! You require so much more sleep than I do, so if I stay awake until 3 am in the morning it shouldn’t matter! I’m able to be uncomfortable, that’s my choice! I’m fine!” He lectured.
Moa didn’t say anything more to him and turned away. He felt a little upset that she just sort of left him to his tantrum. 10 minutes later she was back though, as she kindly handed him a glass of milk and a cookie.
Of fucking course. Kururu thought, his eye twitching under his glasses. The bane of his existence.
Before he could throw the milk in her face and see if she cried, she spoke. “Good night, Kururu!” She said, brightly, and then she leaned forward, stepping onto her tip-toes and pulling him down, kissing his forehead. “Sweet dreams. Text me if you need anything!” and then she left.
Kururu spasmed uncontrollably after that and didn’t do a single thing productive afterwards because he was too busy experiencing more fear than he could have ever thought possible and just solely focused on that. In fact, he went into a mild coma that night!
I’ll NEVER make that mistake again. He vowed, nothing that puts such a stupid idea into her head, especially when she’s sleepy. I’ll never ever say something to allude to giving me a kiss goodnight. He had thought before he passed out into a state of near death. Moa had almost killed him!
When he awoke, from his near-death state, (and no his sleep had not been restful, because it was some sort of coma and he was pale, and clammy and looked like he had one foot in the grave.) He found himself lucky for somehow surviving the night. However when Keroro saw him, he naturally assumed his death like state meant Kururu had been working really hard the previous night, but still got upset with him for not working even harder, and lectured him angrily to get them out of these bodies, ASAP!
It was a draining conversation. And after the lecture, Moa had the gall to ask, “Did you not sleep well?” Moa asked, seeing how awful he looked and how he didn’t even have the strength to argue back with Keroro, a look of worry on her face, as if she wasn’t the perpetrator.
“I WONDER.” Kururu growled.
“…Do you think maybe the new body is lactose intolerant?” She asked, concerned. “Pekoponians organs work differently than keronians do, right? Is there any risk of that?”
Actually, that was an interesting question that immediately sidetracked him to try to look into if the pekoponian body was allergic to anything new! And that was how most of the day was spent instead of on anything productive. Which was again, Moa’s fault.
Just like the previous coma night, he didn’t find any sleep that night either. Probably because he was still pissed off about the goodnight kiss thing. He watched the door the entire night waiting for Moa to come working through scenarios in his head about how he could be smarter and cooler and how he wouldn’t lose this time. He’d be better prepared for her terrifying behavior and protect himself!
She didn’t come that night, although she did text him telling him to tell her if he needed anything. He ignored the speck of disappointment inside of him, telling himself he was just bitter because he couldn’t get revenge or triumph over his fears. He ended up pulling an all nightery-definitely out of bitterness, and not because he was on guard and watching the door the entire night.
That happened for 3 days straight, and Kururu ended up incredibly exhausted. Moa suddenly realized there was a bit of a problem with them his new living situation and did not seem to realize it was caused by being in closer proximity to her. And she was immediately worried by his exhaustion, because she was a hypocrite who seemed concerned about sleep deprivation, all of a sudden, which just had Kururu howling in laughter internally. If you want to be worried about someone’s sleep, worry about your own! After all, you’re the number one at depriving yourself of necessary sleep! What a hypocrite.
But her hypocrisy did not stop the strange turmoil of distressed feelings when Moa worried about him. “Is it hard to figure out a new sleeping position in that body?” Moa asked, “Your chest is pretty big, and you’re sometimes a stomach sleeper, right? Maybe that’s the problem?” She guessed during work.
“Ugh use your brain a little bit, why don’t you? Maybe it’s something else that prevents me from having a good night’s rest! Like maybe your hosting capabilities.” Kururu insulted, not daring to look at her. Bitter and tired that he was getting lectured and also that he was in that situation to begin with.
Moa frowned, because she couldn’t have that! With some sick twisted glee some of her attention changed from helping Keroro that night and making sure he had a good rest, to making sure Kururu rested. That night she came to help Kururu, carrying an armful of his terrible scratchy CDs that he called lullabies that gave everybody nightmares and bad fairytale books.
“I’m the expert at sleeping! I slept for five hundred years!” She boasted, proudly, “I’ll make sure you sleep in no-time, Kururu!” She promised.
Secretly, he appreciated the effort at finding his CDS. “So you’re going the bedtime stories route and lullabies over the goodnight kiss one today?” Kururu chose to believe that his voice was utterly emotionless with 0 notes of disappointment. The only thing he was disappointed in was Moa for bothering him.
“Yep.” Moa nodded. “And if that doesn’t work, I’m just going to smother you with the pillow until you sleep!” She smiled, with a serene innocence that should not have been used to say that line.
That actually got Kururu to laugh. “Okay, you win!” he decided, holding up his hands. “You can try. You butchering pekoponian stories and badly telling them sounds like free entertainment to me.”
Moa beamed, and forced him to get into bed, putting his CDs on and sitting by his bedside as she read him stories aloud, sometimes tripping over parts. Perhaps it was the clashing of sounds, the terrible CDs and how she kept losing her place because of the terrible CDs but he did start feeling pretty sleepy.
“Moa…” He groaned, starting to snooze, accidentally saying the word as he started to drift off. “Zzz…Kiss.” He repeated, the trauma of the past 3 days that was still haunting him and playing constantly in his head.
Moa stopped reading and gave him another bedtime kiss. “Good night, Kururu. Sleep well.” She smiled before tucking him in.
He was pretty sure that kiss was what sent him into the night coma. But maybe night comas were actual sleep.