Chapter Text
The Keroro Platoon getting stuck as human women, of all things, started the same way most of their chaos did. With a very stupid invasion plan.
Perhaps I should have skipped the invasion meeting this time…! Dororo mused, with a sigh, still perplexed with this new body. Dororo was a fast learned when it came to skills that used new movements, but the weights atop his chest just made everything a tad bit more difficult. They seemed pointless. Dororo was, of course, all for training, but having two rocks strapped to your chest constantly was a truly grave undertaking. No wonder women like Lady Koyuki have so much grace, and poise, and balance! They are constantly undergoing a form of extreme training! Pekoponian women are such strong and wonderful people! He was filled with further admiration for the females of the pekoponian species as a whole. All women were of course, wonderful, but Dororo hadn’t understood how much they should truly be admired for the trials they underwent.
But his admiration of females was getting a bit ahead of himself. He needed to learn from his mistakes, and that meant remembering how Dororo had found himself in this mess.
It had started the same way it always started. With Keroro. It always did.
“We need to secure more funding for the invasion!” Keroro had droned on, back when he was still male, and a frog, of course. Everybody already knew without needing to question it that Keroro had blown all of their funds on Gundam. As usual, only Giroro yelled at him and called him out over this. It never did any good of course, but it was still something they were used to. Maybe Giroro still had hope that eventually his angry yelling would reach Keroro and he’d start acting responsible.
Dororo personally didn’t care if Keroro blew the funds on Gundam. It would be better for the planet as a whole if the Keroro Platoon had less money to do evil things, but he also sort of wished Keroro was more responsible. He didn’t say anything. Although I’m not loyal to the Pekopon invasion any longer, I still need to be present so I can keep the peace, and ensure that Keroro doesn’t do anything too evil or chaotic. Dororo had thought, putting himself in the role of a silent judge and silently listening. It was always a challenge to restrain Keroro, especially since Dororo didn’t usually get any notices of when their invasion meeting was taking place, Keroro constantly forgot to invite him, which was frustrating!
After some of the usual Giroro/Keroro bickering that Dororo was accustomed to, it reminded him of their childhood, Keroro had revealed his master plan. “We’re going to make a TV show complete with cute merchandise that will make us tons of money and the pekoponians will of course swear their allegiance to us because of how awesome our show is!”
“Again? Haven’t we tried this one before?” Tamama asked.
“Errrrr. Don’t ask me that. I don’t keep track…” Keroro admitted, as Moa tried to look at the notes to see if they had in fact tried something similar before. “Ahhh, Lady Moa, don’t tell me! This one will be different, I promise! It’ll work this time, because I’m coming at it from a completely different angle!”
“You don’t need a different angle, you have me.” Angol Mois had pouted
Kururu had started chuckling at the pun.
“Uh.” Keroro had decided she was crazy and looked away. “Anyway---this plan also has the bonus of working really well on Lady Natsumi!”
“…As in, she’ll like the plan, or that she’s weak against it?” Giroro asked, trying to pretend like he wasn’t extremely worried for her safety.
Keroro ignored him too. “Now, for any of my brave participants in the room, can someone tell me something about Lady Natsumi---”
“She likes sweet potatoes, and her fists pack a punch and when she smiles it’s like the whole world is lit in a beautiful hue of fire---” Giroro started listing things.
“No! Not random facts!!! Argh, Let me finish!!!” Keroro stomped angrily, “Can someone tell me about the relationship between Lady Natsumi and Lady Moa?” Keroro asked, again, politely
Suddenly, everyone was equally confused, having no idea where Keroro was going with this.
“…I don’t really think about their relationship much…” Giroro admitted, slightly embarrassed that he couldn’t answer a Natsumi related question.
“What relationship?” Tamama asked. “Oh. Are we hooking them up? I for one am all for it! We’d get Giroro back and we’d get rid of her---!” Tamama said, perkily.
“DON’T EVEN JOKE ABOUT THAT!!!!” Giroro growled, summoning a gun.
“I for one, do not believe they’d make a good match.” Dororo defended. Mostly because he was thinking of poor Koyuki’s feelings, although Giroro sent him a grateful smile.
If Lady Natsumi runs off with Lady Moa….Poor Lady Koyuki! That would hurt more than losing to Giroro, losing her to another woman means it wasn’t even a problem of sexuality! Dororo thought, grieving the imagined scenario.
“That would be the funniest end to the love triangle. Ku, ku, ku!” Kururu laughed, only caring about the chaos. He elbowed Moa. “You hear that, Moa? You need to go seduce Natsumi to save the invasion!” Kururu baited.
“I don’t think that’ll be possible…I think Natsumi is very heterosexual…” Moa responded, frowning.
“I didn’t think you knew what that word was.” Kururu and Tamama both remarked at the same time. Moa frowned, looking at them both confused.
“Let’s not be hasty by jumping to conclusions about Lady Natsumi’s sexuality! I for one do not believe she is heterosexual!” Dororo argued.
“Ugh! Everybody quit it! Stop trying to ship Lady Natsumi and Lady Moa! That wasn’t the point!” Keroro yelled, rubbing his forehead and trying to be the responsible one in the room as everybody seemed to get very heated about that very particular subject. “Lady Moa! Since you’re mature and good and are not distracting everybody with a pointless discussion, please answer the question for me:” Keroro pointed to her as Tamama seethed at the compliments. “Point out a big factor that plays into your and Lady Natsumi’s relationship!”
“Oh! That we’re friends!” Moa replied, bubbly, clapping. “Will this be a TV show about the power of friendship, Uncle?”
“T-that….That wasn’t where I was going with this…” Keroro’s shoulders slumped in disappointment. He sighed, realizing he had to explain things to his platoon that was clearly struggling to see what he saw. “What I was trying to get you to say is that you’re both girls!”
“I mean, yeah. But I’m not sure what that has to do with anything?” Moa responded. “We both have a romance with keronian men too, but I don’t think that plays any part in our relationship!”
Giroro suddenly looked brighter.
“No, you don’t, you’re delusional!” Tamama growled.
“I think she’d struggle to agree with your statement, ku, ku, ku.” Kururu pointed out, and Giroro deflated.
“I think that is…not something the two of you have bonded over, and romance makes it sound much more two-sided than it is. They are not in a relationship.” Dororo reminded, deciding not to step foot into the mess that was Keroro and Moa’s relationship. Giroro seemed to sink into the floor.
“Yeah, agreed.” Keroro nodded, focusing mostly on the Natsumi and Giroro part, “The girl part plays more into your relationship than you clearly noticed though, Lady Moa! See, in all my years of observing Lady Natsumi, I’ve realized something rather huge about her---” Keroro started rambling. “SHE’S SEXIST!”
“What.” Giroro frowned. “No, that isn’t true!”
“SHE IS, GIRORO! Just admit she has flaws!” Keroro yelled, “She’s soooo biased against all of us! But she’s a whole lot nicer to female aliens like Lady Moa, no matter what crimes they’ve committed. Whenever we do an invasion plan, she punishes all of us except Lady Moa!” Keroro complained.
“I knew she was evil!” Tamama gasped.
“The only explanation that makes any sense is that Lady Natsumi is super sexist!” Keroro continued ranting. “And that’s why Lady Natsumi is going to go a whole lot easier on us for this current plan I have---”
“Lady Natsumi isn’t sexist!” Dororo argued passionately, as the keronians immediately got side-tracked by the ‘is Natsumi sexist’ discussion. Giroro shot him a grin.
“AGREED. I think she’s just nicer to Moa because she’s not an invader!” Giroro pointed out.
“She’s nicer to Pururu too and she’s an invader!” Keroro argued, “And Lady Moa is trying to destroy Pekopon!”
“It’s---It’s not sexism, Natsumi’s just a good person and---” Giroro tried to defend her.
“Giroro is completely right, it’s not sexism. And I’m far less biased than Giroro so you can actually take my word for it!” Dororo agreed. “It’s rather cruel of you to call her sexist, Keroro. After all, she could just be a lesbian! Maybe that explains her fondness of women!” Dororo smiled kindly.
Giroro practically cracked into glass, looking horrified.
“Wooooow!” Kururu said, picking his nose, boredly, “I can’t believe Moa stole your gaydar, Dororo! You should be disappointed!” He scolded. “Did you happen to forget how interested she is in Saburo? Delusion is Tamama’s gig! Not yours!”
“Ugh. I never knew her crush on Saburo would be helping me…” Giroro mumbled.
“Grrr….I’m not delusional!” Tamama growled.
Dororo felt deep shame at the unfortunately fair words. I know…I know it’s a sad reality that Lady Natsumi likes men. But Lady Koyuki doesn’t know that…Once she realizes she’s likely straight, her heart is going to be so broken. He wanted to hope for the best for Koyuki’s sake. He was willing to be delusional to protect Koyuki’s heart in hopes that perhaps there was a 1% chance he was right. All he could really offer to the situation was hope, after all.
“Uh, yeah, let’s just jump past Domomo’s clearly stupid ideas.” Keroro flubbed Dororo’s name, and suddenly Dororo became much more furious. “Anyway, so I think the problem we had when we tried to film previous tv shows was that we weren’t cute girls! Any anime nerd can tell you, Waifus are in and EASY to capitalize on! Do you know what I saw what I saw when I went to the figure store the other day? In the gundam model section there was an entire section for making anime girls instead of Gundams! I was absolutely HORRIFIED, can you believe the travesty? They’ve stolen holy ground and tainted something beautiful! Why are there anime girl fighter jets or tanks??? It’s completely pointless, and DEPRAVED!” Keroro ranted, tearfully, and more passionately than most of the platoon had seen him. “But then, after I found the strength to face reality, I realized we could use this!”
“…By turning into tanks too…?” Tamama asked, confused.
“No! By turning into girls!” Keroro crossed his arms glaring, like the answer was obvious. “And then, in our cute girl states, Lady Natsumi won’t have the heart to stop us! She’ll be biased against us, and kinder to us, and won’t punish us, and will like us more, just like she acts towards Lady Moa!”
“Have you considered her and Moa just get along like normal people because Moa is nice?” Giroro suggested, still fighting against the ‘Natsumi is sexist’ allegation. “Natsumi isn’t sexist!”
“Giroro, Lady Moa tries to destroy the planet every few days and Lady Natsumi just forgets!” Keroro cried, “What is that, aside from sexism at work? I get in trouble more for forgetting to do the dishes because I’m an ‘evil alien invader’ and I’m punished more than her!” Keroro pointed at Moa jealously. Moa looked aghast that Keroro was jealous of her of all people. “I’m not a planet destroyer! Why am I always the villain???”
“…I haven’t destroyed the planet because you’ve asked me too…” Moa reminded, her mouth trembling, a little hurt that Keroro was making her out to be such a problem.
Keroro winced. “S-sorry Lady Moa, I just got a little heated. Lady Natsumi’s so mean sometimes…” Moa pat him on the bat sympathetically.
Giroro didn’t have much to say in response. “…F-fair point, uh, fair point…” Giroro frowned, desperately trying to figure out a way to continue defending Natsumi’s reputation. “Oh! Maybe Natsumi just doesn’t think about the planet destroying! I think we’ve all universally decided not to think about how often Moa has tried to kill us all!” Giroro pointed out. Moa made a sheepish silly face like ‘oopsie, my bad’. “She’s, uh, kinda an air-head….The best you can really do with her is put it out of your mind and move on.” Giroro pointed out.
“Ugh. Yeah…That’s…” Keroro’s shoulders sagged, because he didn’t want to agree, but he also agreed.
“Wait, wait! Are we finally acknowledging that she’s EVIL?” Tamama’s eyes sparkled excitedly. “YESSS! I KNEW IT! I KNEW THAT WOMAN WAS EVIL AND VILE AND A GIANT MAN STEALING BITCH---” Tamama paused, “Wait. I kinda forgot she’s almost killed us all too!” He realized, in horror.
Dororo sighed. “Just like Giroro said, I don’t think it’s sexism! I think some things are easier to just not think about!” Dororo agreed, “Lady Moa clearly meant no harm, and Lady Natsumi can tell her heart is pure and good, while yours is not Keroro!” Dororo crossed his arms, frowning.
Kururu frowned, “Wait, am I the only one here who doesn’t forget Moa’s a planet destroyer on the regular?” Kururu asked.
“I haven’t!” Keroro defended.
Kururu stared at him. Keroro looked at the ground, because sometimes he did. Kururu just groaned. He looked at Moa, “Kinda insulting to your job that they’ve repressed all the near death-calls, isn’t it, Moa?” He baited.
Moa winced, “I’m sure somehow everybody would live!” She argued, “Um….You’d all find some way of surviving the crushingness of space, before you all die of oxygen deprivation, I’m sure…” She looked slightly awkward, as she fidgeted, “I kinda forgot keronian lungs don’t work in space…Oopsie, my bad!” Moa stuck her tongue out, playfully. “And don’t worry, Kururu, I don’t find that insulting at all!”
“I was being sarcastic---”
“After all, everybody knows it makes it a lot easier to hit things when people aren’t expecting it!” Moa smiled innocently.
Everybody was quiet for a good minute after that. Keroro, rightfully so, decided to move on. “So. Everybody loves cute girls. Girls love cute girls. Horny anime nerds without the right priorities towards building gundam models love cute girls….” Keroro said bitterly, “So, we’ll film a TV show with the five of us, we’ll each represent a color, and it’ll have subliminal messaging that lets the horny pekoponians hand the planet to us on a silver platter, and also they will spend tons of money on our anime merch, because we will be their Gods!” Keroro explained.
It was a decent plan. And what Dororo liked best about it was that it wasn’t hurting anyone.
“…But we aren’t cute girls.” Giroro frowned, pointing out the obvious. “Unless you’re thinking of using the pekoponian suits.” He shivered. “Even if we dress them up with pigtails, they still have frog faces though…Not exactly something that could make us easily popular.”
“Speak for yourself! I’ll be fine!” Kururu bragged, “I have a female robot suit who’s plenty cute and popular. Ku, ku, ku. She’s every pekoponian’s ideal beauty standard!”
“Your robot suit is not sexy, Kururu! It’s creepy!” Giroro argued back.
“Says you! But mine and Moa’s characters are going to be the most popular because we’ll be the only ones without frog heads. Ku, ku, ku. I can’t wait to be the popular one in our fandom, and then I’ll get to mock the rest of you!” He laughed, clearly taking it a little personally how many times he had been called creepy looking in letters from Keron.
“I REFUSE TO FILM A TV SHOW ABOUT BEING A CUTE GIRL WITH HER!” Tamama growled, angrily, pointing to Angol Mois. “If Natchi can be sexist, so can I be! I don’t want to be on tv with that woman!” Tamama said like a true diva.
“Relax! Relax! Lady Moa isn’t going to film with us, she’ll operate the cameras.” Keroro promised, trying to calm Tamama down, “Sorry Lady Moa, it wouldn’t have the right point if we tried to brainwash Pekopon to swear allegiance to Keron, and we had a non-keronian in our crew.” Keroro told her. “Also, more importantly, I can’t figure out what color role you’d have…”
“…Purple?” Moa suggested.
“That’s Garuru’s color. And you’re a blonde!” Keroro pointed out.
Moa pouted.
“And second: we won’t be using the robot suits!” Keroro announced. “We’ll be changing our forms into cute girls!”
“So, you want me to combine the all things are living gun, and my sex-change gun?” Kururu asked. “That’s a lot of work. And fairly expensive…”
“Nope! Don’t worry, I already took care of it and handled everything!” Keroro beamed, “Someone else already invented something that can swap our forms temporarily! And it has the bonus of being much cheaper than anything you could make!”
“Excuse me?” Kururu’s brow twitched, irritated.
“Invention stuff really isn’t that tough! It’s all about those biochemicals, man.” Keroro ranted like he knew anything and Kururu looked angrier and angrier. Truthfully, Dororo thought it was kinda funny. “Here.” Keroro passed out five tubes. “We drink this and then touch our insignia’s when we want to become frogs again! Easy-peasy! No time limit like that pesky all things are living gun!”
“…And do we transform with clothes?” Giroro asked. “Uh. Not asking because I’ve had any experience transforming naked or losing my clothes from that invention, of course…! I’m asking because uh. That happened to a friend of mine. You wouldn’t know him…” He lied, completely unsubtly.
“Yep! We even get clothes!” Keroro beamed.
“GREAT!” Giroro beamed and drank the concoction immediately.
“I can make clothes, I just purposefully programmed it to not give Giroro clothes just to be a jerk….” Kururu argued. “The cat had clothes. My invention was fine.”
“W-why you---” Giroro growled, fog surrounded him, making it hard for Giroro to grab Kururu to throw him, the fog dispersed and suddenly a pekoponian woman stood before Kururu instead. Before Giroro could take advantage of his height and far larger muscles to beat Kururu’s ass, Kururu guzzled the concoction in hopes of the fog giving him the chance to make a hasty exit before Giroro blew him up.
Keroro and Tamama nodded, and also drank their potions. Dororo, of course drank his as well, not wanting to be left out. (Nobody was sure how he drank it with his mask still on.)
Soon the fog had surrounded all of them, and once the cloud dissipated, as Keroro had promised, five beautiful girls were standing in the invasion room instead of alien frogs.
Dororo marveled at his new hands, which had nails! I never noticed, but a pekoponian woman’s hands truly is far more beautiful than a keronians! Their fingers are longer, and probably well suited for throwing shuriken and kunai blades, and my nails shimmer like a beautiful seashell does in the sunlight!
“Great!” Keroro beamed, a chill looking girl with short hair, perhaps a little pudgy and short, wearing a yellow hat. “Let’s get moving then, people! We have a show to film!” He clapped.
Everyone got into positions, following along with Keroro’s orders.
After that, things went about how all of the invasion plans went. Badly. With Natsumi defeating them.
Once Natsumi realized that the frogs were making some anime with tons of subliminal messaging, she wouldn’t let the show air (and she found out because Keroro counted his chickens before they hatched and started ordering molds to create waifu figures of his new form.) She decided as Earth’s defender she wouldn’t let the populace of Japan be brainwashed. A big battle was had, that involved several high-stakes chase scenes where Keroro and crew tried to get their television show to a tv station that was asking for new pilots. Koyuki, Natsumi, and Fuyuki all fought valiantly to make sure Keroro’s evil waifu anime wouldn’t get on TV. They clearly forgot to tell Momoka about their troubles because she could have just bought out the TV station, but she also probably didn’t see the big deal about Keroro creating a waifu anime and would have probably asked if her character could be featured in a guest episode in hopes of making Fuyuki notice her.
Eventually the Keroro platoon finally reached the television station, wounded, and exhausted, only to hear that the radio star Mutsumi had just asked some contacts of his if they were interested in submitting a new show to that television station. Because of him, the slot was already taken that their show was trying to air at. Keroro screamed and cursed Mutsumi’s name, and as usual Natsumi dragged all of the previous frogs away, wounded from their defeat.
“Okay, you’ve had your fun now.” Natsumi glared. All five of the once-frogs were tied up. Even Dororo had been thrown in with the lot of them. He didn’t like when he was treated like the same scum as the rest! “But your appearance is weird! Change back now!” She ordered.
“Fiiiine. Fiiiine. It’s not like I want to be an awful pekoponian girl either, although I am very cute.” Keroro agreed. Natsumi untied his ropes. Keroro reached up to the star on his cap. “Watch this, men. This is how to get our old forms back.” He pressed the star. “Ta-da! Simple, right?” He posed.
Nothing happened.
Everybody stared at him.
“I told you, change back! I won’t let you make a mockery of the female population!!!” Natsumi growled.
Keroro started sweating. He kept pressing his star, again, and again, and again. “W-why…Why isn’t it working…?” He asked nervously.
“If you got us stuck as females, Keroro, I swear to God I am going to murder you!” Giroro growled. Natsumi glanced at him, giving him a rather awkward look. She decided Giroro was on her side and then elected to untie him so he could help reign in the rest.
“Uhhh.” Keroro kept pressing, “No, give it a minute…” He turned to Kururu. “Why am I not turning back?”
“Who knows?” Kururu asked, annoyed. “I didn’t make this technology! Ku, ku, ku. Thought you said it was just soooo easy to make.”
“Wait, Kururu didn’t turn you female?” Natsumi asked, worriedly. “I thought Kururu was responsible for this mess…”
“I’m just an innocent bystander this time!” Kururu defended.
“…You still look like a smug creep.” Natsumi decided. “I don’t think you’ll ever be ‘innocent’ when it comes to a mess.” She turned to Keroro. “Where did you get this technology if it wasn’t Kururu?”
“…Alien Ebay.” Keroro said quietly.
Everyone swore.
“SERIOUSLY!??? You went to alien ebay instead of making me do it???” Kururu asked, irritated. “Most of the items there are scams! They all have some defect and that’s why they’re so cheap! I should know, because I’ve sold a considerable amount of scams on it!!!”
Keroro winced. “…The instructions seemed simple…And the price was oh so cheap.”
Giroro immediately started kicking Keroro’s ass, hitting him again and again over the head. Fuyuki decided they were in this for the long haul and started untying Tamama, Dororo, and Kururu since he felt it was unfair that only Giroro was treated well.
Kururu laughed at Keroro’s pain but gestured for Keroro to hand him the instructions. Keroro did, cowering on the ground, crying, as Giroro threw grenades at him, angrily.
“Oh yeah, 100% scam.” Kururu nodded. “You can even scratch off the text for the instructions past step one. It doesn’t list a solid ‘how to get back’ method.”
“NOOOOOOOO!” Keroro screamed.
“W-wait. Does that mean there is no method of turning back to normal?” Dororo asked, worriedly.
“…I’ll fix it.” Kururu groaned, annoyed. “Let me get my laptop and I’ll harass the seller until they give us proper instructions.” He cracked his---or maybe her fingers and left to swiftly get his laptop.
Natsumi waited. Everyone waited, and eventually when Tamama jumped in to protect Keroro from the Keroro and Giroro fight, Fuyuki and Dororo decided to start splitting Giroro and Keroro apart and intervening before the house blew up.
And then they were left waiting again, except without the sound of bombs going off in the background. Dororo decided to sharpen his sword, trying not to stress too much about the new form. It’s strange, but not actually all together bad---well, aside from the weights attached to my chest which is rather weird! Although, having hair is also incredibly weird! He laughed, trying to be good-natured about the transformation. Hair isn’t bad though. Lady Koyuki has some very pretty hair, so it’s nice to have some of my own. He wasn’t feeling like it was the end of the world to no longer have a penis though, and he clearly wasn’t as angry about the transformation as Kururu, Giroro, Tamama and Natsumi were. I’m a little disappointed our voices didn’t change too much. I don’t know why my voice isn’t that higher pitch or softer if my body is now female. He thought a little disappointed. It was slightly higher but it didn’t sound completely different than him. It wasn’t a graceful and beautiful voice like a woman should have.
Koyuki knelt down as Dororo got lost in his thoughts. “…Are you doing all right?” She asked worriedly.
“Do not worry, I’m fine.” Dororo smiled politely, “Thank you for worrying about me, Lady Koyuki.”
Koyuki’s eyes shimmered. She immediately glomped Dororo. “Awww! You have such a cool and pretty smile!” She squealed. “Doesn’t Dororo have such a pretty smile, Natsumi?” Koyuki asked.
“…He’s wearing a mask.” Natsumi frowned.
Koyuki pulled away from him and covered her mouth, almost embarrassed in a way. “Ah, yeah.” She nodded, “Sorry, uh, got ahead of myself…” She glanced at Dororo again, “You know, if you’re feeling weird about being female, even if the form is only temporary, that’s still completely understandable. You don’t have to swallow your pain just so you aren’t a bother.” Koyuki reassured, because she was a truly good and supportive friend, unlike Keroro. “I’m here for you, Dororo.” Koyuki said, offering Dororo her hand.
Dororo took her hand, because he and Koyuki were no strangers to platonic physical affection. He squeezed it back, smiling at her. “You are far too kind.” He said softly, “Do not fret, I’m sure Kururu will figure this out and I’ll be back to being a keronian again soon enough. Do not let it worry you.”
Koyuki nodded, but stared at him, deep in thought as if considering something. Dororo wondered what it is that she was thinking about. She was probably worrying for his sake. They both worried more for each other, than they did for themselves. Or perhaps she was just staring at Dororo because the new form was strange.
Dororo had a light blue short sleeve shirt on, and skirt, that was rather cute. He had long dark and sleek fingerless gloves, along with long, agile, dark boots. All of his skin under his neck was covered. His sleeves had bits of white, and his usual insignia, a yellow ninja star was on his neck collar tied with a ribboned tie. He had a white hat just like he did as a keronian, but without the flaps at the side. He wore a belt which held his sword scabbard, and his sword scabbard had grown in size to fit a pekoponian female better. He was glad that he still had his ninja mask. He had sleek dark blue hair, it was long, tied in a ponytail like Koyuki’s, and it was tied with a light blue ribbon. His eyes were incredibly sky blue, and large, and bright, not that he had gotten to look at his new face much. He assumed with the mask, he still held the same spirit of a ninja. He was about a head taller than Koyuki.
“…Perhaps this experience can be a learning one! Walk a mile in one’s shoes, as they say.” Dororo lightly chuckled, trying to reassure Koyuki that all was well. “It will make me better understand you, so how could I hate it?”
“Awww…Dororo! That’s sweet!” Koyuki hugged Dororo again.
Absorbed in the touching moment, Dororo didn’t realize Kururu had come back. He had been gone an hour. Kururu returned through the floor panels with Moa. Moa hadn’t come with any of them to the TV studio, but judging by the fact that she was here now, Kururu had still put her to work to help find the ebay seller.
“Bad news.” Kururu had his usual twisted grin despite his new appearance. “Ku, ku, ku.” His unnatural, uncontrollable tic of laughter wracked through his body. “Moa and I found them---”
“And and and and and?” Keroro asked, with stars in his eyes.
Moa frowned, sighed and walked over to Keroro, opening a laptop screen. “Maybe you should see for yourself, Uncle…”
Dororo, Giroro, Tamama, Natsumi and Fuyuki all crowded around behind Keroro as a video played. It was a news report of the space police doing a raid on a notorious scam artist on alien ebay. Keroro grew pale. Eventually the base raid had Keroro’s ebay seller dragged away.
Keroro was quiet.
Giroro cracked his knuckles. “So? So what? Do we have to negotiate with them for the proper instructions while they’re in jail?” He asked.
The video kept playing. The news reporting continued saying the scam artist had then had an immediate heart attack in jail and died day 1.
“…The Death Note got them!” Keroro gasped, horrified.
“Death Note isn’t real.” Tamama pointed out.
“How do you explain that then?” Keroro gestured. “Alien Death Note got him! Just to spite me!”
“Uncle, Tamama’s right, Alien Death Note isn’t real. If it was why would planet destroyers be needed?” Moa frowned.
“Stop it, stop it!” Natsumi groaned as suddenly Tamama, Moa and Keroro started bickering over Death Note. Tamama had switched sides on the debate once Moa had agreed with him. Natsumi clearly didn’t want to have to get between another fight.
“Shit. So we’re stuck?” Giroro asked, trying to make sense of the situation. “As pekoponians?”
“Pekoponian females!” Keroro reminded. “Don’t forget the boobies and vaginas we have!”
Natsumi pinched the bridge of her nose as Fuyuki looked aghast. “Don’t call them that---AUGH! Tamama stop flipping up your own skirt!” She just looked horrified.
“…Yep. We’re stuck.” Kururu confirmed, “I did a simple genetic sequencing, and my DNA has changed completely to one with two x chromosomes. Although, I also found something that suggested that over time it would dissolve---”
“Dissolve? Are we going to die???” Tamama asked, shivering. “I don’t want to die an ugly girl! …Am I an ugly girl, Mr. Sergeant?” He asked, throwing himself at Keroro.
“Uhhhhhh….I don’t know?” Keroro admitted. “There’s a right answer here, isn’t there?”
“YES. SAY I’M ADORABLE!” Tamama growled.
“You’re adorable!” Keroro squeaked. “Truly a keronian soldier still in this state!” He praised. Tamama beamed.
“How long will it take to dissolve?” Dororo asked, the only one not complaining and fully paying attention.
“Don’t know.” Kururu responded. “I don’t even know if its time based or based on specific activation criteria. If it’s based on a specific activation criteria, that’s bad for us, because it suggests that using tech to fix the issue won’t resolve it. It’ll only be resolved if we find the activation requirements.” Kururu explained, “Moa?” He gestured. Moa handed him a large raygun. Before anyone could do anything, Kururu turned to Giroro and blasted him with it---Giroro was always his favorite guinea pig for these sorts of tests.
There was no visible change.
“WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR!!!???” Giroro screamed, still a pekoponian female, fuming, angrily.
“Nothing happened, when I used the sex change gun which confirms my theory that tech won’t change anything until the situation resolves on its own.” Kururu explained, “So, I’d suggest getting comfortable. We might be stuck like this…”
Everybody seemed deeply horrified by this notion. Keroro, Tamama, Giroro and Natsumi all screamed.
Dororo just sighed, having quite enough for that day. No surprise! Another of Keroro’s awful schemes has made my life more difficult, just as they always do!
“I hate you, Keroro.” Dororo hissed, before he left and then went home.