Chapter Text
It was Lando's birthday. He didn't want to remember it.
He dragged himself out of the bed just because he had promised Charles they would have had breakfast together in that small bakery by his neighborhood, which was in his opinion absolutely wonderful in a way that can't be described to normal human beings.
There was a small old lady, Luisa, at the counter, that served the incredible home made bread and still warm brioches that his husband prepared every morning.
The place had just three small tables and offered only hot tea, espresso, espresso macchiato, corretto and cappuccino, with almond milk too if you were a lactose intolerant.
Many people came to pick up their orders of fresh bread and brioches, but if you stopped by and just sat down in the small, familiar place you would feel the warmth that comes from a lazy morning spent at your granny's in the summer. All slow, peaceful and full of love.
Charles wanted to make his birthday special and hoped that atmosphere of warmth and kindness could improve the day.
They sat down. Lando was the image of insomnia, dark circles under his eyes and pale skin, red rimmed eyes that screamed "HEADACHE" and a hoodie pulled as close as possible to seek warmth. Outside of the small shop he was shivering like hell.
Now in the familiar bakery he felt better, relaxing a bit.
«Happy birthday Lan!» Charles took a package out of his backpack. It was wrapped in bright orange paper with silver and black abstract pattern on it. A big black and silver bow sat on it. Lando smiled. «Charles there was no need...» he touched a small card with something written on it “To my best friend, I'm so proud of you, and so honoured to be by your side. Happy birthday Lando, do never forget about how special you are.” Lando almost cried. He hugged his best friend with something in his chest that made him feel lighter than before. He opened the present. It was a Lego set of the Ayrton Senna MP4/4. He was on cloud nine.
He thanked him a million times.
They had breakfast chatting about some bit of gossip and motorsport news, the old lady smiling fondly at them all the time.
When Lando asked for another chocolate brioche she came with a smile and said «You know, that smile of yours is like sunshine. Bright and sincere, and contagious. I don't see often friends like you two. You got something special. Never let the clouds blind that sun» and she returned to her counter to serve another costumer.
Lando kept that I'm his heart.
When they paid and got out, they thanked the lady and left more money than what they truly had to give her, for her kindness.
Charles managed to get Lando to their school to attend some lessons.
They luckily had all the classes together that morning so he wouldn't have been alone until afternoon. At lunch, Lando went to take a table and Charles to pick up their food, since the cafeteria was really crowded and they needed to secure their sits before someone else takes them.
Lando found a table near the window and waited.
«Can I sit?» he looked up from his phone, seeing Logan sitting in front of him. He trembled slightly, but tried to keep calm, it was only a metter of politeness right? If he just told him the truth gently he would get up, he even asked...
«I'm sorry but it is actually occupied, I'm waiting for a friend» he tried, slowly and at a low tone, almost apologizing for real.
«Yeah, sure, who the fuck does want to ruin their lunch by eating with you?» the venom was spat instinctively.
«Actually-» he couldn't finish, he got cut off by the other boy, standing and approaching his side of the small table.
«I don't care. I don't know what the fuck you did to my friend but you better leave him alone. Carlos had taken it slow with you but I won't and I'll make you regret you ever existed» he was towering, crowding him, yanking him by the collar of his hoodie.
«I don't know what you are thinking about...» his eyes started to become glassy and filled with unshed tears.
«Do you think your deer eyes can fool me prick? It is not a warning, it's a promise. I'm gonna torture you to death if it's necessary. Shit like you shouldn't be walking around pretending to be a person.» he smashed his head against the cold metal of the window, pressing one knee into his already sore stomach. Now the tears fell from his eyes.
«I really don't-» he tried but the blond applied even more pressure knocking the air out of his lungs.
«You better shut the fuck up, understood?» Lando only nodded slightly and he let him go. He shrunk further away from Logan, but he was already walking away.
By the time Charles arrived he was not hungry anymore. He talked with him about what happened.
«I can't understand, what was he talking about? I don't even get close to his friends...» he mumbled looking down at his hands, fidgeting restlessly.
«I might know what he was talking about... At the party, Oscar left him there. He was his ride home but he didn't want him. Plus I think he defended you somehow.» Charles explained, then he waited for his brain to catch up and try to remember anything useful.
«I remember something like him pushing Carlos but nothing clear and I don't want to think about that night » there it was. Oscar didn't tell him he did it, he just explained the situation he found him in and the fact that he was now out there in the cold drizzle. Charles didn't want him to revive any painful memory, but he needed him to understand Oscar was not against him on this.
«I know, I'm sorry... He got to our table to tell us what happened and where you went » Lando couldn't believe it, his eyes widened, looking at his friend. «Why would he?» he asked incredulous
«I don't know, maybe because not everyone is shitty like them...» Charles shrugged, knowing this might make his friend's world tilt a bit.
«Maybe, but I don't wanna risk it» he simply stated, too tired to think about anything else.
«Understandable. Do you feel like eating just a bit?» Charles nudged his plate closer to him.
«I know you won't take no as an answer» he replied with a small smile, taking his pizza slice and biting it. It was delicious. He ended up devouring it.
In the afternoon, he had to attend his design for marketing class. Their teacher was giving them some time to work on the project, putting his help to everyone's disposal so that they could use some help to go through the roughest parts.
They started debating over the product and the style of both that shooting and the book to choose something that could use the best skills both of them offered.
But Oscar kept talking to him in a strange tone, softer, looking at him sideways.
«Is something wrong? Did I do something you don't agree with?» Lando was fidgeting restlessly with him hands, picking at his fingernails cuticles, his leg bouncing up and down really fast.
«No, don't worry» Oscar appeared calm, too calm. It only made it worse.
«If something is wrong please tell me, I'm open to other ideas if you have more suitable ones.» he was so scared to make him upset, mad or disappointed...
Oscar stayed silent.
Then, after probably twenty minutes Oscar looked at him again, and asked «Are you okay?» he was dead serious.
Lando was taken aback by the question, staring at nothing for a moment or two.
«Yes, I'm fine» he lied, eyes still lost in the space between them.
The class finally wrapped between ideas and drafts. He was so exhausted...
Oscar approached him. «Uhm... about Saturday night...»
«No!» he realized he was shouting so he tried to be more quiet and composed, still a few people already turned towards them. «I-I don't really need to talk about it...»
«You don't need to. I just wanted to apologize. I hope you are okay » he was quiet in a way Lando didn't even think he could ever hear him.
«Yeah, totally fine thanks...» he lied again. Oscar was probably just being kind. There was no way anybody cared about him.
He got to the library to study for a bit until Charles was ready to head back home.
The place was enormous, it was basically a tower made of three floors plus the aisles that expanded like a labyrinth on the first floor.
The tower was filled with books from the lowest angle to the very end, where the walls met a ceiling made of a colorfully rose window, representing a sun with small scattered pieces of color and dark clouds surrounding it in the most peripheral section of the window.
He started walking towards the history aisle, just to find it empty, the scent of the old paper pervading him. There was a small table at the end of the aisle, with small lamps on each of the three sits it offered.
Two giant mobile stairs were attached on each tall bookcase.
He pulled his earphones on, to listen to some relaxing music while studying, it helped him concentrate.
At some point a hand was shoved on his mouth, the other pressing on the throat just enough to break his voice so he wouldn't scream.
«Don't you dare to make a noise, you don't wanna face the consequences» Logan. Lando started shaking. He released his throat just enough for him to breath «So, I told you to stay away from my friend... And now turns out he's not coming at mine because he has your pathetic birthday party.» Lando froze. He didn't plan a birthday party, he didn't even think about it. As Logan said, it would have been pathetic since he had no one to invite other than maybe three or four friends. Even if he asked to more people, they just wouldn't show up in the end, it already happened two years ago.
«I'm not throwing a party.» Logan pulled his hair enough for him to tilt his head back and look at him in his glacial eyes.
«Are you telling me he's a liar?» Lando panicked. «No... Maybe you just misunderstood» he started but he pulled at his curls even harder making him wince and his eyes watered «I'm sorry... I'm sorry» but Logan laughed, heartless as always.
«I warned you. You made your choice.» he shoved him up, his scalp burning where it got pulled hard, trapped him in the corner and pointed a small razor blade to his neck «Quiet or you'll end up agonizing in a pool of your own blood.» the idea didn't scare him that much, but silent tears rolled down his cheeks anyway.
Logan flipped him so that his face was pressed against the books.
He shoved a gag in his mouth and, with much more force than what Lando could ever try to fight, he used his belt to tie his hands so tight it hurt.
The blade was than aimed to the small of his back, right over his ass. Logan removed the clothes to stare at the spot, and then he decided. He didn't push the blade too deep, just lightly grazed against the skin enough to draw a bloody line. Lando cried at the continuous sequence of cuts, but Logan pushed him back against the wall by the neck every time he tried to escape.
«Now, I need to teach you something. You are less than a dog. You are just a piece of thresh in the middle of the sidewalk.» he hissed against his ear. He pressed his knee into the new wound.
Lando cried out in pain.
«Now you know what you are... » Lando cried out a "why". «Oh are you crying now? What an attention seeker... I should have wrote that word instead of this... oh well, next time. See you around whore» he laughed. This wasn't even bulling anymore. This was torture, this was something much more deep and made of pure hatred and cruelty.
And... Wrote...? He gathered his stuff and went straight to the bathroom. The mirror reflected the cruel reality. In his lower back the five letters were carved mercilessly in an angry bloody red. His knees gave up on him and he found himself crying on the floor.
It was a lie. It couldn't be true.
He needed Charles, he needed him to tell him this was just an awful nightmare. He pulled his phone out what an attention seeker... He put it back in his pocket sobbing. He was alone. He tried and failed to stop himself from crying, so he just pulled his hood up and hoped no one was out there anymore.
Once outside in the parking, he realized Logan had been waiting for him. He got beat black and blue. He couldn't breathe, he tried to call for help. Why doesn't anybody hear him?
He heard some distant steps. «Please...» he whispered. Logan kicked his stomach one last time before driving off.
He crawled back before he could drive on his legs. He rested his head against the side of one of the few cars left and started to breathe slowly to get back in his feet.
His legs hurt, he was sure he was bleeding from his knee, elbow and cheek, where the tarmac scraped the skin away earlier. He was almost sure his cuts reopened too. He had some new ones that were certainly soaking his hoodie in red. His stomach hurt so much he had nausea but he didn't have the strength to contract it and vomit. He was sure Logan used a belt ant some point but he was too busy protecting his head.
He closed his eyes, trying to detach from the cruel reality of his barely sitting body. He wasn't sure he could get on his feet this time. The distant steps hurried up.
«Lando?» an Aussie accent. He lifted one heavy eyelid only to see the unfocused shape of a worried Oscar.
«I'm sorry» he groaned, voice filled with air «I didn't know this was your car, I'm leaving...» he painfully pushed himself unsteadily up. Oscar caught him by the elbow before he could stumble. Everything hurt so much he wasn't sure nothing was broken this time.
«That's not the point, what happened to you?» He realized soon he was completely unsteady.
«I fell, badly actually... But it's okay, I'm feeling better...» he walked away as if the touch of the other boy had just burned him.
«You sure? If you want I can take you home» he barely had the time to finish the sentence before Lando could scream a «No!» to him. In that moment Charles was running towards them.
No no no I didn't want to burden him again... Attention seeker...
Charles shoved Oscar further away from him «I knew I should have never trusted you! What did you do to him? He's barely standing you motherfucker!» he was so mad Lando was actually scared of his friend's look.
Behind him Max was very clearly ready to punch the face of the Aussie until it changed its features.
Oscar lifted his hands in front of him, but before he could speak...
«He didn't!» Lando screamed with all he had. Both the Dutch and the Monegasque turned to him. «I found him slumped against my car. I only offered him a drive.» his friends were confused.
«Is it true?» Charles relaxed a bit.
«Yes, it is...» Lando was burning with shame.
Charles nodded «Let's get you home then...» Lando was so tired he didn't say anything else until he finally got out of the shower.
He looked at himself in the mirror. Blue and green bruises made contrast with angry red.
He pressed the blade against his wrist, sliding slowly. He repeated the process 9 times, before he got back from his trance. He almost didn't even register the stinging feeling of the water running on them.
Once he cleaned up all his new wounds and bruises he covered in bandages and band-aids all the open ones so they wouldn't brush against the fabric of his hoodie and joggers.
Heading downstairs he smelled some food so he got into the kitchen and then he heard everybody screaming "surprise!" In front of him stood Charles and Max F with a warm smile, Max, Alex and George with a smug one and Oscar with a shy little smile. A few packages were placed in the corner of a table full of snacks and food.
He smiled, hugging his best friend so tightly it hurt. «Thank you guys... To all of you, really...» he had glossy eyes.
Max started the music and they all ate and joked together. Oscar was observing him silently. How was it possible he dissimulated the pain so well?
The entire evening was games and jokes and music and food. He almost forgot about his problems for a few hours of freedom. He opened the gifts and they were awesome. They even had an home made cake!
It was honestly one of the best nights of his life. At some point, he was outside, looking at the stars, and he overheard someone talking behind the wall.
«Yes, Logan, I'm at the party.» a faint smell of cigarette came with the freezing air.
«I won't come over to yours after, I'll see you tomorrow.» was he there just to betray him just like Carlos did?
«I told you I'm not coming alre- what?» a pause.
«And that was exactly my point the other day. I knew it was you.» It was really difficult to understand what Logan was saying on the other side, but he heard his name.
«Well no, but I'm not gonna let him get away with this. And you shouldn't call me, not tonight and not tomorrow.» was he gonna finish the job?
«Bye» Lando was petrified. He couldn't understand that last part. He was starting to panic. He had to get back inside.
But Oscar was already there «Hey, you having fun?» he asked nonchalantly.
«Get away from my house.» Oscar looked at him slowly. «What?» he didn't understand.
«I heard you. Is this another of your little fucked up games?» there was so anger, not even fear or any emotion in his voice. It made him shiver.
«Lando-» he needed to know what had happened.
«No. I'm not your fucking toy to play with.» his eyes reflected no soul. He was just dead. Oscar was looking at those beautiful irides and realized that they could just belong to a corpse from how dull and devoid of light or life they were.
«Can you at least listen?» he tried carefully «I'm not playing any games. Logan had called me like 30 times tonight because I bailed our videogames night to be here. And now I know he did this to you because of that. And I didn't wanna know the details because this is fucking wrong»
«So you knew, you did it on purpose, so he had a reason to do it.» he simply stated. He looked so far gone. There was no pain in his voice, just emptiness.
«No, I didn't and I'm sorry it happened. Carlos and him are fucking insane. I never wanted you to get hurt» Oscar was slowly moving towards him.
«I'm sorry but I don't think I can believe you...»
«Understandable. I'm sorry for what happened... If you want me to go away, I'm going.» Lando was about to reply when Charles opened the door quickly.
«Lan, are you okay?»
«Fine»
«Okay uhm, can you please tell me what you feel?» and he started tickling his hand. But there was no reaction. «Empty»
«Yes, I know... Maybe we can sit on the couch and you can relax for a bit and close your eyes...»
«Okay»
«Good, I'm gonna take a blanket from inside, you can sit while you wait» and he disappeared inside again. Lando simply sat on the couch. When Charles got back he laid down with his head resting on his thighs and closed his eyes. Immediately shutting down to some sort of sleep.
«Maybe I should go...» Oscar was about to head inside to gather his belongings but Charles stopped him and gestured him to sit on the armchair on the opposite side.
«I'm sorry you had to see this, please don't mention it to anyone... He's just... When his stress level is too high sometimes this can happen... Did he say something to you?» Oscar looked down to him, how could he explain everything as if he wasn't there?
«Don't worry, he can't hear us talking until he wakes up.» Oscar nodded, talking about what Lando has been listening to and what his reaction was.
«So it was Logan... He didn't talk with me until the all party thing. Whatever had happened is keeping him from asking for help and it's not good.» Charles was looking at him fondly. Oscar's heart squeezed at the sight of the boy so fragile on his lap. And it twisted with something else, something strange and somehow ugly given the situation. He wanted to be in Charles's place, to hold him through this. He didn't know when he's been starting to feel protective towards the boy, but he knew for sure he won't let anyone hurt him again.
«Is there a way I can help him?» his voice was firm. Charles looked up to him, his eyes were the color of the sea.
«Actually, I don't know... Just keep Logan away from him for a while...» well, best friend or not, he didn't have the right to do this to someone. That was for sure.
«Okay. I will.»