Chapter Text
Felix let’s himself into Hyunjin’s apartment. It’s the latest change to their relationship. A few weeks ago Hyunjin was out of town and asked Felix to check on his plants. When he returned, Felix tried to return the key, but Hyunjin just shrugged and told him
“Just in case,” Hyunjin had said like it was nothing. “Don’t lose it.”
Felix had laughed. “Is this a trust exercise?”
“It’s a practicality exercise,” Hyunjin had corrected. “I hate getting up to open the door.”
Felix hadn’t argued. He hadn’t examined the way the metal felt warm in his hand either. Felix told himself it was practical. The spare key does better with him then in Hyunjin’s apartment in case of any future key loss incidents.
Now, weeks later, he uses it without hesitation and the lock clicks open. The apartment smells faintly like something toasted and something slightly burned.
Felix steps inside, closing the door quietly behind him. Hyunjin is in the kitchen when Felix walks in, sleeves pushed up, staring suspiciously at a frying pan.
Hyunjin doesn’t turn around immediately. “You’re late.”
Felix glances at the clock on the wall. “It’s 6:07.”
“Exactly.”
Felix drops his bag beside the couch. “You said six.”
Hyunjin turns finally, spatula in hand. “And yet.”
Felix smiles despite himself.
The pan sizzles aggressively as Felix steps into the kitchen and leans against the counter. “What are you doing?”
Hyunjin narrows his eyes at the stove. “Mitigating disaster.”
Felix peers into the pan.
It’s some leftovers. Stir-fry from earlier in the week maybe?
“You know that a pan doesn’t usually respond to intimidation,” Felix says.
Hyunjin shoots him a look. “I don’t cook.”
“I’m aware.”
“I burn water.”
Felix laughs. “That’s not possible.”
“It absolutely is. I’ve done it.”
“How.”
Hyunjin gestures vaguely. “Distraction.”
Felix hops up onto the counter beside him, knocking his thigh lightly into Hyunjin’s arm as he gets settled. “You exaggerate.”
He swings one foot idly against Hyunjin’s thigh. Not provocative just there. Hyunjin doesn’t move away instead he leans over and gives Felix a kiss, his free hand resting on Felix’s thigh.
Felix fleetingly thinks that a few months ago, this kiss would have been leading somewhere by now. Now they’re arguing about cookware.
Felix watches Hyunjin stir, focused and faintly annoyed at the idea of heat settings. There’s something disarmingly domestic about it. Hyunjin reaches around him and opens the fridge without thinking. He grabs a sparkling lemonade and hands it to Felix.
They hold eyes for a minute, the possible stir fry forgotten. Hyunjin smiles slightly. Felix feels it in his stomach, that small warmth that’s been happening more often lately. Something steady. He looks away first.
Hyunjin finally accepts defeat from the store and they order a pizza. They eat at the counter. Hyunjin insisted on standing while Felix insisted on sitting. They compromise by leaning.
Felix talks about work. He tells Hyunjin about a coworker who microwaves fish in the breakroom.
Hyunjin makes a face of genuine horror. “That should be illegal.”
“I’ve considered filing a complaint.”
“You should. Go to that girl in HR that you get lunch with sometimes.”
Felix watches him as Hyunjin listens. He actually listens with his whole body. He doesn’t check his phone or look around for distractions. He’s present. He even asks follow up questions and remember things that were half mentioned weeks before. Felix feels the tingle of being known and tries not to.
Later, they migrate to the couch and Felix tucks his feet under his leg. Hyunjin stretches out beside him, arm draped lazily along the back cushion. Felix grabs his favorite blanket and puts it across his lap.
They scroll on their phones for a bit. Silent, but not awkward. Comfortable. Hyunjin huffs a laugh. Felix watches the corner of his mouth curve upward. He thinks, briefly, that he likes hearing him laugh. He doesn’t unpack that.
At some point, Felix shifts closer without thinking. Their thighs press together. Hyunjin doesn’t comment and doesn’t move. Hyunjin’s hand lands lightly on Felix’s knee with no escalation or urgency. Felix realizes he just likes being here. Hyunjin’s apartment feels cozy and familiar to him now. The thought startles him enough that he straightens slightly.
Hyunjin glances at him. “What.”
“Nothing.”
Hyunjin studies him for half a second longer than necessary. Then relaxes again.
Felix looks around the apartment and takes stock. There is his charger plugged in near the bed and his hoodie over the chair. The lemonade bottle is half-empty on the coffee table.
Felix leans his head back against the couch. He thinks, distantly, “It’s just easy.”
He likes that word. Easy. He spent so long trying to chase destiny or fate that maybe he’d forgotten how nice it was to just be included in someone’s life.
The café is warm and crowded when Felix arrives. He starts taking off his scarf and hat when he spies Minho already seated with two drinks on the table.
“You’re late,” Minho says mildly.
Felix drops into the chair opposite him. “You said four.”
“It’s 4:03.”
Felix rolls his eyes. “You sound like Hyunjin.”
Minho’s eyebrow lifts slightly. “Do I.”
Felix ignores that. He wraps his hands around the warm cup and takes a sip. Minho watches him for a moment too long.
Felix narrows his eyes. “What.”
Minho leans back. ““You’re glowing.”
Felix scoffs lightly. “I am not.”
“Its a good thing.”
Felix shrugs. “I’m fine. It’s just warm in here.”
Minho tilts his head. “You’ve been at his place a lot.”
Felix looks down at his drink. “It’s casual.”
Minho doesn’t challenge him immediately. He just nods once and waits until Felix makes eye contact with him. “Casual doesn’t usually involve museum trips.”
Felix hesitates. “That was one time.”
Minho leans back. “You like him.”
Felix opens his mouth to deny it, but stops. There is literally no point in trying to argue with Minho.
“It’s nice,” he says finally.
Minho smiles slightly. “That’s allowed.”
Felix exhales softly, staring at the foam on top of his drink. “It’s just easy,” he says. “No pressure. No expectations.”
Minho’s gaze flicks briefly to Felix’s arm. “The universe must be devastated.”
Felix snorts. “Hyunjin would agree with you.”
Minho hums. “And you?”
Felix considers that. He traces his thumb lightly over the inside of his forearm where the words sit under his sleeve, still faded.
“I still believe in it,” he says quietly.
Minho doesn’t look surprised. “I know.”
Felix leans back in his chair. “Hyunjin isn’t my soulmate.”
He says it firmly. This is something he’s known since he met Hyunjin. It’s just a fact in the world like the sky is blue and grass is green. Minho waits. Felix continues, almost explaining to himself, “He doesn’t even believe in soulmates anyway. He’d hate the idea.”
He can feel a faint affectionate smile creep onto his face.“He talks about his like it’s a curse.”
Minho watches him carefully. “And that doesn’t bother you?”
Felix shrugs. “It’s fine. This isn’t that.”
Minho’s expression stays soft. “What is it?”
Felix hesitates. He hadn’t prepared a definition. He’s been actively avoiding one actually.
“It’s fun,” he says finally. “It’s comfortable. We don’t owe each other anything.”
Minho studies him.
“And when it ends?”
Felix answers immediately. “It’ll end.”
It’s a knee-jerk response, something he’s been having to tell himself more and more lately. Minho waits.
Felix forces himself to keep going. “It’s not forever. I mean that’s kind of the point.”
His words are steady.
“When it ends,” Felix continues, “we’ll still be friends.”
The sentence hangs there. Minho waits again. Felix feels something small twist in his chest. He hadn’t realized he’d included that in the definition of what they were and would be. Still friends. He takes the time to picture it briefly, running into Hyunjin in a group setting months from now. After what they had has ended. He’d be there with that same easy smile. Felix imagined no lingering tension between them. It should feel fine. It almost does.
Minho speaks gently. “You don’t have to pre-write the ending.”
Felix looks up. “I’m not.”
Minho gives him a look.
Felix smiles, a little softer now. “I’m just realistic.”
Minho nods slowly. “And you’re happy?”
Felix doesn’t even hesitate. “Yes.”
It surprises him how true that feels. He is happy. He doesn’t need whatever this is between him or Hyunjin to be anything but what it is, and there is no reason to rush it to its inevitable end.
Rain taps softly against the windows. Felix curls into the corner of Hyunjin’s couch, shoes still on, phone in hand. Hyunjin moves in and out of the bedroom, changing slowly, not in a hurry. It’s that comfortable hour of the evening where nothing has been decided yet.
“Minho texted,” Felix says absently. “They’re heading out soon.”
Hyunjin hums.
“We could still go meet them,” Felix adds. “Or that restaurant you sent me looked good.”
“Mm.”
The rain gets heavier. Felix glances toward the window. There’s something soft about nights like this. When they have nothing planned and everything is low-stakes with no expectations to fall short of.
“Do you even want to go out?” Hyunjin asks.
Felix shrugs. “I don’t know. We could.”
Hyunjin walks into the kitchen, opens the fridge, closes it again.
He keeps talking through options from the kitchen. Felix scrolls through this phone mindlessly.
Felix doesn’t even process the sentence at first. His arm does though as heat blooms under his skin.
It’s sudden and unmistakable. His breath stutters. He looks down and pulls up his sleeve.
The faded words on his forearm darken. The black of them seems to get darker the longer he is looking at it. The ink settling, becoming permanent.
Felix’s mind goes blank. He had imagined this moment a hundred times. There was going to be soft music and a quiet confession. There would certainly be eye contact. He thought he would know before it happened.
He hadn’t imagined it would be this. A random rainy Friday with an article about new traffic lights opened on his phone and Hyunjin arguing with the refrigerator. He definitely hadn’t imagined it would be Hyunjin, but the universe doesn’t make mistakes about this. It never has.
Hyunjin steps back into the living room, running a hand through his hair.
“Unless you want to go out,” he says casually. “We can.”
Felix looks at him.
Hyunjin. His soulmate. Hyunjin loves him. The thought lands slowly. Felix can feel tears start at the corner of his eyes. He isn’t sure why. Because the second realization hits him.
If Hyunjin is his soulmate then Felix is Hyunjin’s soulmate, and Hyunjin hates his soulmate.
Felix’s stomach drops. He remembers every joke and every dismissal. His mind starts to replay every time Hyunjin said he felt sorry for the person stuck with him.
Felix swallows carefully. His arm is still warm. Hyunjin is watching him now.
“Why are you staring at me like that?”
Felix forces a small shake of his head. “Nothing.”
Hyunjin studies him for half a second. Then shrugs. “Okay.”
He heads back toward the bedroom.
Felix stays perfectly still. His mind is trying to rearrange itself around this new shape. Hyunjin is his soulmate. Hyunjin loves him. Hyunjin would hate that.
Felix inhales slowly.
“Staying in is fine,” he says finally. His voice sounds almost normal.
Hyunjin smiles faintly. “Good.”
And just like that, everything is different. Hyunjin goes back toward the kitchen.
Felix watches him move. He watches Hyunjin reach into the cupboard like this is normal. He has no clue this is the most important moment Felix has ever heard. He didn’t feel the ground split beneath them.
The warmth in Felix’s arm hasn’t faded. It’s not burning anymore. It’s just there. He can feel it pulse with his heartbeat.
Hyunjin is his soulmate.
Hyunjin loves him.
Hyunjin hates his soulmate.
Felix stands abruptly a blanket and pillow knocking to the ground. Hyunjin glances over his shoulder.
“What.”
Felix swallows. “Actually,” He forces a small laugh. “Let’s go out.”
Hyunjin blinks. “I thought you said staying in was fine.”
“Yeah. I just,” Felix shrugs, grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair. “It’s Friday. We should go out.”
Hyunjin studies him. Rain streaks the window between them. Felix smiles too quickly. “That place by the river. You wanted to try it.”
Hyunjin narrows his eyes slightly. Felix can feel the seconds stretching. If Hyunjin cooks, if they stay in, if this becomes what Felix imagined for years. It will settle into something solid. It will become something that needs to be addressed. Going out could be like pressing pause. It could keep it from becoming real.
“Come on,” Felix says lightly. “We can stay in tomorrow.”
Tomorrow will be safer. Less symbolic.
Hyunjin exhales through his nose. “You’re indecisive.”
“Maybe.”
He steps away from the kitchen and turns off the light. Felix’s arm still feels warm. He tells himself it doesn’t matter. The words were said. The mark darkened. Fate isn’t negotiable, but this is something he can control.
They leave the apartment. Rain dampens the streetlights.
Hyunjin bumps his shoulder lightly against Felix’s as they walk under a shared umbrella. “You’re weird tonight,” he says.
Felix keeps his gaze forward. “I’m always weird.”
Hyunjin huffs a quiet laugh.
Felix forces himself to breathe normally. The universe has already decided. If he keeps things moving and keeps it light though, maybe it won’t crush them yet.