Chapter Text
Steve’s first thought when he woke up was please don’t let it have been a year and a half again.
He forced his eyes to open. His head still had some pressure in it, but it felt more like the slight discomfort of allergies rather than a splitting migraine. He was sore and exhausted, though, like he’d run a marathon. He blinked at the ceiling through blurry vision, trying to place where he was. He wasn’t in the hospital, at least, so Steve figured that was a good sign.
“Stevie?”
Someone knelt by Steve’s side and grabbed his hand. Steve could make out brown curly hair, a black vest that had seen better days, and the glinting silver of rings on the person’s hands.
“Eddie,” Steve said, softly.
Eddie smiled. “Coming around, big boy?”
“Unfortunately,” Steve muttered, reaching up to rub his forehead. “Why do I feel like I got hit by a truck?”
“Well, considering you woke up from a year and a half long coma and immediately decided to take a field trip, I’m not surprised. Then there was that incredibly badass moment when you summoned a bunch of ghosts. It would’ve been nice to know you could do that, by the way,” Eddie said, jokingly.
“I didn’t know I could,” Steve muttered. “Talking to ghosts is normal, but making them visible and physical was a first for me.”
“What do you mean talking to ghosts is normal?” Another voice asked, and Steve and Eddie glanced in their direction.
“Hey, Will,” Eddie said. “You mind telling everyone Steve’s awake?”
“I’ll explain everything,” Steve promised, “But I’d rather only do it once.”
Will nodded and left the room to find everyone else.
“Please tell me it hasn’t been another year and a half?” Steve said to Eddie.
Eddie shook his head. “No, thank goodness. It’s only been two days. You still worried us, though. We were thinking about sending El into your mind to bring you back, but she said you just needed rest. I said you’ve been resting for a year and a half, but Supergirl had spoken.”
Steve laughed. “I don’t know if a coma counts as resting. I feel more exhausted than I did before the coma.”
Before Eddie could respond, the door burst open, and Robin Buckley came running in.
“Steve!” She yelled, and she almost tackled Steve in a hug. “You are never allowed to pass out again. Seriously, you just woke up after eighteen months, and you already needed another nap. What the hell, Steve?”
“Sorry, Robin, I’ll keep that in mind next time an evil wizard almost kills me,” Steve said sarcastically.
The rest of the party filed in, and Steve squinted, trying to figure out who was who. His blurry vision wasn’t doing him any favors, and most of the party just looked like fuzzy shapes.
“Is everyone here?” Steve asked once everyone stopped moving around.
“Yeah,” Eddie said. “That’s right, Vickie mentioned you can’t see very well.”
“I can still see, at least,” Steve confirmed, “But it’s a little blurry.”
“Well, there’s Hopper and Joyce,” Eddie said, pointing to two figures on the other side of the room. He continued gesturing to each person in turn. “There’s Nancy and Jonathon. Mike. Dustin. Lucas. Max. Will. And El.”
Steve waved. “Hey.”
“Hey?” Dustin echoed. “You almost died, went into a coma for eighteen months, revealed you have ghost powers, and then went back to sleep for two whole days, and all you have to say is hey.”
“My bad, Dustin. I didn’t know there was proper conversation etiquette for a situation like this,” Steve said, voice dripping with sarcasm.
“Start explaining,” Mike commanded. “Since when have you had powers?”
“Are you from the lab?”
“Why didn’t you ever tell us?”
“Who were those boys you summoned?”
“Why did that one guy call you Finn?”
Steve was getting overwhelmed. He wasn’t even sure where to start with this explanation, and everyone shouting questions at him wasn’t helping.
“One at a time!” Hopper yelled, and everyone quieted. “Jane, you first.”
“Are you from the lab? Like me?” Jane asked.
Oh, well, that was a simple question to answer.
“No,” Steve answered. “I was… born this way. My mother could see and hear things that other people couldn’t, and she passed that down to my sister and me.”
“But you don’t have a sister?” Nancy said, perplexed. “And I’ve met your mom. She seems…”
“Normal?” Steve filled in. “That’s because the woman you met, Patricia Harrington, isn’t my mom. She’s my aunt.”
A confused silence blanketed the room, and Steve sighed.
“Okay, let me start from the beginning,” Steve said. “I haven’t always been Steve Harrington. Before I moved to Hawkins, I lived in Denver, Colorado, and my name was Stefin Blake. I went by Finney, though. My parents were Terrance and Hope Blake, and I have a sister, Gwen.”
“How come we’ve never met her?” Dustin asked.
“Something happened when I was thirteen, and my dad, he…” Steve trailed off, remembering empty Vodka bottles and the sting of the belt and his dad’s favorite sentence to yell at both Finney and Gwen: You are not your mother. He took a deep breath and tried again. “He wasn’t always the best dad, but after… what happened, he just…He got better for a while and then he got worse, and this time, social workers showed up at the door. They took me and Gwen away.
“We got separated. My mom’s sister, Patricia, and her husband were willing to take me in, but they didn’t want Gwen.”
“Why not?” Will asked.
“I mentioned our mother passed down her… abilities. Well, she passed them down to both of us, but our family only knew about Gwen. My abilities came in late, but Gwen always had these dreams, just like our mother did.”
“Dreams?” Mrs. Byers repeated. “What kind of dreams?”
“Dreams that told her things. Sometimes, the future. Sometimes, the past. It’s like El with the void,” Steve said, nodding in El’s direction. “Except Gwen could only do it when she was asleep, and she didn’t really control it. It’s more like the visions found her, if that makes sense. But everyone in our family knew or at least assumed. Patricia didn’t want Gwen because of that. So I came to live with the Harringtons, and Gwen ended up with some cousins in Colorado, but they never told me exactly where. Uncle Danny said it was best for me to leave all that in the past, so they didn’t let me talk to Gwen at all.”
“Asshole,” Hopper muttered.
Steve huffed a laugh. “Yeah, Uncle Danny’s a grade-A asshole. So that’s how I ended up here. They didn’t like the name Finney, so they made me change it to Steve. They told me to never tell anyone about who I was or what happened; they didn’t want any of that associated with the Harrington name.”
“You keep saying something happened,” Robin said. “What was it?”
Steve inhaled deeply, trying to steel himself for their reactions. He’d never told anyone about the Grabber, and as much as he hated changing his name and pretending he was something he wasn’t, a part of him was grateful for the excuse to leave it all behind. Pretend it never happened. But Steve had learned the hard way that the past always catches up with you. He couldn’t run from it forever, and maybe… he trusted the party enough to stop running. To finally let himself be seen for who he was.
“I don’t even know who I am, if I’m Finney or Steve.”
“You’re both. You can be both, and your friends—your family—they’ll accept you for whoever you choose to be.”
“When I was thirteen,” Steve started, “there was this… thing that happened in Denver. Kids started going missing. They were being kidnapped by this guy that everyone called the Grabber. Those kids were never heard from again, and one day… I was walking home from school when this van pulled up in front of me. The guy dropped his groceries, and I offered to help.”
The tension in the air thickened until Steve could feel it, pushing in on him from all sides. Of course, no one in this room was stupid. They saw where this story was going.
“The Grabber. He got me,” Steve said. “He took me and kept me in this soundproof basement. There was nothing in there except a mattress and a black phone.”
“Why would the Grabber leave a phone down there?” Max asked.
“It didn’t work, at least not like it should,” Steve said. “I tried using it, but the Grabber was right. It didn’t work. But then, one day… it rang.”
“How?” Dustin wondered.
“My abilities,” Steve said. “I’d never been able to do anything before, not like my mom or Gwen, but I guess the trauma just… made them kick in. When I picked up the phone, Bruce Yamada was on the other end of the line. He was one of the kids taken by the Grabber.”
“Were they somewhere else in the house or something?” Lucas asked.
Steve shook his head. “No. The kids were dead. Bruce, Robin… all of them. But their spirits or whatever were stuck in the basement, so they called me on the phone. Because of my abilities, I was able to hear it. They helped me get out of the basement.”
Everyone was quiet for a while.
“What happened to the Grabber?” Eddie asked, nervously.
Steve swallowed harshly. “I killed him. Strangled him with the phone cord and broke his neck.”
Steve was surprised at how level his voice was. He sounded so cold and hollow, but it was better than telling the complete truth—how scared he was, how the Grabber’s terrified eyes still haunted him, how sometimes he thought he could still hear the crack of the Grabber’s neck.
Steve hated the Grabber. He killed the Grabber to escape, to survive, and to keep the Grabber from hurting anyone else ever again. He didn’t understand why he still felt so guilty. He killed an evil, evil person… so why did he feel like the monster?
Would the others look at him the same way he looked at himself?
Hopper scoffed. “Good riddance.”
Steve looked up in shock. “You-You don’t think I’m—“
“Think you’re what?” Nancy asked. “Steve, you killed the Grabber in order to survive, and you stopping him from doing it again.”
“But I killed him,” Steve said, clenching his fists until his nails dug into his palms. “I could’ve just knocked him out or escaped and told the police, but I… I killed him. I was just… so fucking scared, and it felt like the only way out.”
“For all you knew, it was,” Hopper said. “You survived, Steve. You did good, kid.”
“Then why do I feel like a monster?” Steve whispered, more to himself than to anyone else.
Eddie reached over and placed a hand over Steve’s. At his touch, Steve relaxed slightly, uncurling his fists. “Because you’re a good person,” Eddie said. “You did what you had to do.”
“I want to believe that,” Steve said.
“Someday you will,” Eddie replied. “You’re one of the good ones, Steve. You saved yourself, but you’ve also saved everyone in this room at least once. A monster wouldn’t do that.”
Steve nodded. The doubt was still creeping under his skin, but for the first time, he felt like he could believe that one day.
"I know you don’t believe you deserve love, but you will believe that one day. You just have to stay alive.”
“What about the ghosts at the military base?” Robin asked.
Steve shrugged. “I had no idea I could do that,” he admitted. “I think the whole thing with Vecna unlocked more of my abilities maybe. My abilities seem to come out the most in traumatizing situations. First, the Grabber. Then, when Vecna cursed me—“
“Wait, the ghosts were there, too?” Dustin asked.
Steve nodded. “Yeah, I was having one of those Vecna-induced hallucinations, and the ghost boys showed up. They helped me escape.”
“I wish I could thank them,” Robin said. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”
“I’m sure they know,” Steve said. “I’m not really sure how the whole ghost thing works, but they seemed to know a lot about me and stuff that happened after I escaped the Grabber.”
“What were their names?” Will asked.
“Bruce Yamada,” Steve began. “He was a baseball player, and our teams played against each other.”
“You played baseball?” Lucas asked.
Steve laughed. “Yeah. Why do you think I’m so good with the nail bat?”
Lucas nodded, conceding the point.
“There was Griffin. I didn’t know him when he was alive, but from the times I’ve talked to his ghost, he seems like a chaotic gremlin,” Steve said. “Then, there’s Billy Showalter. He was a paperboy, and he was the first kid to get taken. Then, there was Vance Hopper.”
“Vance Hopper?” Jim Hopper repeated.
Steve looked over to him. He had noticed the same last names before, but he had thought it was a coincidence. “Yeah, did you know him?”
Hopper nodded. “Yeah, he was my sister’s kid. I haven’t talked to her in so long, I didn’t even know Vance…” Hopper trailed off. “He had a tough life.”
Steve nodded. “I figured. That kind of anger doesn’t come from no where. If it helps, he’s still angry, but he’s a bit calmer than he used to be. At least he didn’t lose control of his ghostly powers and throw glass bottles at me this time.”
“What?” Eddie exclaimed.
Steve shrugged. “I don’t think he was really trying to hit me. He just got angry at the Grabber and everything. He’s actually the one who called me to tell me you guys needed me at the military base.”
“Wow, helpful ghosts,” Mike said.
Steve nodded. “Yeah, they’ve always tried to look out for me. And there’s one more. His name was Robin. Robin Arellano. He was my friend when he was alive. Still is my friend, I guess.”
“He’s the one who talked to you at the military base,” Robin Buckley said.
Steve nodded. “Yeah. I’ll tell you all about him later, but that’s a conversation best reserved for a dirty bathroom floor.”
Robin’s eyes widened as she realized what he meant, and she nodded, a knowing and sad look in her eye.
“What does that mean?” Eddie asked. Everyone else looked just as confused.
“Platonic soulmate tradition,” Robin said. “We talk about our friend Dorothy there.”
Steve didn’t know who the heck Dorothy was, but Eddie seemed to know something he didn’t. Eddie blinked at her, as if asking a silent question, and she nodded. Eddie looked between Steve and Robin like he was seeing them for the first time.
“What are you talking about?” Mike demanded. “Who is Dorothy?”
“Privileged information, young child. We’ll tell you when you’re older,” Robin said.
“I’m sixteen!”
“And you must be at least eighteen to know,” Robin insisted.
“Nah, you just have to have the emotional maturity to know,” Eddie said. “And right now, Will is the only one of you boys that has that.”
“You’re right,” Robin said, nodding at Eddie. “Will Byers, you are invited to our tradition!”
“Cool,” Will said.
Dustin sputtered. “Why is Will invited?”
“Because he’s the coolest of you, obviously. Except for Jane and Max.”
“What? I am totally cooler than Will,” Mike said.
“Hot orange mohawk,” Max, Dustin, Lucas, Mike, El, and Will all chorused.
“You swore you’d never bring that up again!”
“I think we’re getting off topic,” Hopper said. “Steve, is there anything else you need to tell us?”
Steve thought about it. “I don’t think so. But I do have some questions of my own. What the heck happened while I was in that coma?”
“Well, after you almost died,” Robin said tentatively. “Nancy and I drove you to the hospital. After you went into the coma, we continued with the plan. Because you didn’t die, Vecna still needed a fourth victim. Max was the bait and went to the Creel House. Lucas was with her, and Erica was going to signal when Vecna had her. Nancy and I went to handle Vecna, and Eddie and Dustin distracted the bats.”
“Things were going well. A little too well,” Eddie said. “But then, things got all screwy. The bats got called back to Vecna, so I had to get creative with distracting them.”
“He made the bats chase him and almost got eaten alive,” Dustin stated bluntly.
“What?” Steve shouted, whipping his head around to face Eddie. “Are you okay?”
“I am now,” Eddie promised. “I got chewed on a little bit, but Dustin grabbed my guitar and started singing Never Ending Story. Have you ever heard a metal cover of Never Ending Story? It was offensive to music.”
“I had never played guitar before!” Dustin defended himself. “And it didn’t need to sound good. It just needed to be loud enough to get the bats’ attention.”
“Well, then, Dustin uses this can of hairspray and a lighter as a makeshift flamethrower,” Eddie continued. “Lit all the bats on fire. It was epic.”
“Yeah, who knew Farrah Fawcett was highly flammable?” Dustin said.
“So that took care of the bats,” Nancy said. “Meanwhile, Vecna somehow knew Robin and I were coming, and the vines tried to stop us. Robin bit one of them—“
“Thanks for the idea, by the way,” Robin said to Steve.
“And was able to escape. She chopped at the vines until they let me go, and we made a run for the attic. That’s when I put three bullets into Vecna, and Robin set him on fire.”
“I got possessed by Vecna and hid in a good memory,” Max picked up the story thread. “It bought me some time, but he found me eventually. He was about to kill me when El showed up—“
“I piggybacked from a pizza dough freezer,” El chimed in.
“What?” Steve inquired. What did that even mean?
“We used a pizza dough freezer to make a bath, the thing she uses to get into the void,” Mike explained.
“Before that, Papa took me and unlocked my memories of Henry, which gave me my powers back,” El said. “But they weren’t as strong yet, so I needed the bath. I went into the void and found Max at the Creel House. Then, I was able to get into her mind from there.”
“El saved me,” Max said. “Vecna broke my arm, but El stopped him before he got any further. She absolutely destroyed him.”
“Not enough,” El said. “He escaped.”
“Yeah, he fell out the window at the Creel House and ran like the coward he was,” Nancy spat.
“Gates started opening everywhere,” Robin said. “Small ones, but big enough for people to notice. We think Vecna was getting desperate because he couldn’t kill Max and finish his evil plan or whatever. With Vecna injured, though, the gates couldn’t sustain themselves, so they closed again. We just barely managed to get out in time.”
“The government came in and made up some cover story about a serial killer and an earthquake,” Eddie said. “My name was cleared, and the town was put under quarantine.”
“For a year and a half, we did crawls,” Nancy said. “Going into the Upside Down through the gate in the military base, looking for Vecna. There was no sign of him until…” Nancy trailed off, shifting anxiously.
“He showed up at the Wheeler house,” Will continued. “He took Holly to use her as bait for El. We made a plan.”
“Will and I would go into the Upside Down,” El said. “Find Holly. Hopper tried to come with us, but he got captured by the military.”
“Getting captured is apparently my thing now,” Hopper muttered bitterly.
“Will and I kept going and figured out Vecna’s plan,” El went on. “Henry was working with the Mind Flayer.”
“The Upside Down wasn’t another dimension, after all,” Dustin said. “It was a wormhole connecting two dimensions—our dimension and another one we’ve been calling the Abyss.”
“Henry’s plan was to bring our world and the Abyss together and make a new Earth,” Will explained. “One that Henry and the Mind Flayer could rule over. But he needed El and I to do it.”
“In the Upside Down, we found my sister,” El said. “Kali. Number Eight. She helped us get into the Abyss. Vecna was already on his way to this world to get rid of everyone else and make sure no one could stop him.”
“The Mind Flayer tried to trap us in the Abyss,” Will stated. “Kali distracted the Mind Flayer with an illusion of El, and El was able to get Holly out. But the Mind Flayer killed Kali in the process.”
“She saved us,” El said sadly. “She was one of the ghosts you summoned, the one with the short hair.”
Steve remembered the dark-skinned girl with the kitchen knife, her black hair shaved nearly to the scalp.
“That was when I figured out I had powers,” Will said. “I was able to control the Mind Flayer. Just for a second, but it was enough. I made it jump off a cliff.”
Steve blinked in surprise. “Dang, Baby Byers. Remind me not to make you mad.”
“Meanwhile,” Nancy picked up. “Vecna showed up at the military base while we were trying to break Hopper out. Vecna took out all the soldiers immediately, and we started fighting him with everything we had. That’s when you got there.”
“So all in all, it’s been a crazy couple days,” Eddie said.
“It’s been a crazy couple years,” Steve amended.
“You can say that again,” Robin agreed.
“So,” Dustin said when it was clear the explanations were over. “Do we call you Finney now?”
Steve considered the question. Did he want them to call him Finney? Finney felt like a lifetime ago. He’d been Steve for seven years now, but even after all this time, he didn’t really feel like Steve either. Finney felt like an outfit he’d outgrown, but Steve felt like a stuffy suit he was forced to wear.
So who was he?
“You can be both.”
Steve made his decision. “Call me Stefin.”