Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Erwin Smith would never be caught running late. 

It was as simple as that, a base fact of his person. It was clear as it was that his hair was blond and his shoes polished, just one look at Erwin was enough to realize he was the kind of person who did not tend to do things like ‘run late’.

That being said, there were some exceptions. 

Uncommon as they were, he was considered only human. 

Often they were caused by things such as the weather, or bad traffic. Things outside of one’s control. 

Most of the time, it was because someone demanded his attention. 

Erwin Smith was a busy man after all. Not because he had a particularly demanding job, the one thing everyone but Erwin seemed to agree on was that that sort of privilege wasn’t his to enjoy, but in return the world had seemed to fill up that empty space with more chatter than he had ears for. 

It was almost funny, if that type of humor appealed to you.

“Hange-”,He said in his usual cadence, his voice only revealing a tiny sliver of impatience. Impatience rarely urged people to action after all, all it did was instill annoyance. 

“But if that’s the case and it’s not hormonal like we assumed-”

However. 

Sometimes a little impatience could be effective.

“Hange.”

“-Which is totally impossible of course, but if we can harness that-”

“Hange!”

“But that’s- Huh? Did you say something?”

Hange blinked at him, all wide eyes and messy hair. They were the chief scientist at the government research the both of them worked at, though Erwin often wondered how it was they acquired their high rank. They were undeniably brilliant, a mind unique in how inquisitive and hungry for knowledge it was, but to call them unconventional would be an understatement. 

Everything from their name to the strange way they chose to label themself was unlike anything they were familiar with. How they had even gotten the job was a mystery. 

Some newer assistants often whispered they had just appeared one day, and nobody had had the strength or will to tell them to leave. Erwin didn’t indulge in those rumours, yet he suspected they weren’t completely unfounded. 

It wasn’t hard to imagine Hange inviting themselves in, promising good work and results in exchange for a properly stocked lab.

But they did their job, and God knew they needed all the brilliance they could get. Of all the people Erwin could choose to spend his time with, Hange was one of the more favorable options. They often had a perspective he lacked, or made connections others would have neglected. Speaking with them was as interesting as it was amusing.

Most of the time, that was.

“You’re doing it again”,He told them, voice level. The sunlight shone through the windows of the lab, creating a halo around Hange’s head. 

They ducked out of it, sending the full strength into Erwin's eyes. It stung, and for a moment he saw brightly coloured shapes bubble into his field of vision. He blinked them away, clearing his sight to make room for Hange to take center stage again.

“What do you mean? I thought you wanted to know what I was working on”,They said with a pout. In other circumstances, with another head scientist, Erwin might have done such a thing, but asking that question to Hange was flat out dangerous. 

There was a reason most new recruits didn’t last long under their wing.

Erwin had signed a lot of resignation papers with Hange’s name on them.

“And it was very educational. But I need to be in a meeting in-”

He glanced at his watch and felt the blood flee his face. He could already see the glares of his colleagues, the quiet sneers, the quickly detracting amount of weight his decisions held. 

Running late was not the end of the world, but it was far more important than people realized. More than that, it was something he specifically did not do.

“Shit”,He cursed quietly. Hange’s face changed from annoyed to sympathetic.

“You can use me as a cover, if it helps”,They said apologetically, helping him swipe his papers together. He gathered them up, slid a paperclip over the corner, and they swiftly vanished into his still-open briefcase. 

“No, but thank you for the offer”,He said while clicking it shut. It would just make him come across as nothing more than a scatterbrained intern, as if he didn’t take his job serious enough. What faith would they have in his judgement if he could get distracted by one overenthusiastic scientist?

And on the other hand, Hange was walking a line too thin for him to jeopardize. Being good at one’s job only gets you so far.

 “Is it about- you know”,Hange asked. Erwin was already halfway out the door when the words registered. He took a step back, the soles of his shoes squeaking against the tiles. 

He nodded,”I’ll do what I can”,He told them as earnest as he could. If anything were to happen -God forbid it ever came to that- Hange was one of a select few he would want on his side. 

“You’ll be the first to know”,He assured them, then finally got on his way. The meeting was one he’d dreaded for weeks, and as sole representative of the science department, he could not afford to miss it, or worse, have his opinion discredited. 

He’d been an army man before this, and after the accident he’d be unable to continue his previous work. It had been the mercy of his previous superior that had landed him this position, and that sort of thing did not demand a lot of immediate respect. He had been fighting an uphill battle from the get-go. 

The walk down the facility's narrow hallways seemed endless, and Erwin took the time to do a final quick check of his appearance. When he’d joined the army he hadn’t thought he’d spend nearly this much time combing out his eyebrows or pulling the front of his jacket straight. He hung the handle of his suitcase over the hook of his prosthetic arm, using his fingers to smooth out his hair. 

An assistant in lab clothes gave him an odd look, but he couldn’t care less about their opinions. It were these sorts of menial things the people in charge tended to take notice of. If some assistant thought he was vain or improper, then so be it. 

It was because of Erwin's efforts they remained employed, and that knowledge was enough for him to put trivial matters aside. He shot up a prayer while walking down the hall, door in sight. 

He knocked once, didn’t wait for anyone to call him in, and made a point to apologise and smile politely before heading for his chair. He sat near the end of the U-shaped table, only Nile Dawk, an old friend and representative, at his right. To his left sat various government institutions and benefactors. Erwin had files of each of them at home, but they were easy to forget. Erwin and Nile were the only ones below fifty, he had guessed the first time he’d taken seat at the table. 

He had been proven wrong, but only by three years.

“Hange?” Nile asked quietly as the meeting took off. “Yes”,Erwin answered, not looking the other in the face. One misstep could be forgotten, two and they’d remember it forever.

The meeting progressed nicely, though that was to be expected, and thus not much to go off. 

Government-sanctioned research was not a branch that required all the latest news to function. There had been talks about talking, rumours flying around over paperwork and coffee runs, but at the end of the day it weren’t the official channels providing him with information. It was entirely backwards in his opinion. Half the work they did went to the military anyway.

The two institutions worked so close together it was often wrongly assumed the department was part of the army. 

Take either one out of the equation and the balance would collapse, but only feed one half reliable information. Ridiculous. 

“And finally-”,Dot Pyxis announced, lightly swaying on his feet. The crows feet next to his eyes seemed deeper every time they met. 

His bright but cynical attitude however, stayed impressively consistent. 

Erwin sat up a little straighter. This was it, the thing he’d been dreading for days. Somewhere deep down he hoped to be proven wrong. 

Sadly, that was also not a thing that tended to happen.

“-We will have to discuss the new budget set aside for research. But before I do that, we will have to discuss an unfortunate fact of our reality.”

Damn it. 

“As everyone here is aware of, we are rapidly approaching the dawn of another war. That we will send troops to Vietnam has already been decided, current negotiations are about how many we can afford to lose.

“With this in mind, I think it’s only reasonable to cut the funding usually reserved for research, and preserve our resources for more pressing matters. It has been months since anyone has reported any significant progress anyway.”

Was that a sneer? A quiet snicker coming from across the table? It had to be. His hand tightened to a fist. 

“Erwin, I’m sure you’ll find a way to manage with these new resources.” 

Pyxis’ eyes suddenly seemed ever so beady as he stared Erwin down. 

It was as if the man was asking to be challenged. 

Maybe it was wishful thinking, maybe it was arrogance. Probably it was both. 

Erwin figured he was fine with being challenged. 

Chapter Text

It was a bright sunny day. It was still cold, that was sure, but that hardly mattered. It was a winter day that felt more like spring, the first of many to come. The park was already filled with all sorts of things, kids and dogs and other grimy creatures. All leaping at the chance to get the shitty sunlight on their skin.

Levi sat on his bench in the sun, occasionally tipping back his paper cup of tea. His eyes were hidden in the shadow of a hat slightly too large, one leg casually slung over the other. It wasn’t his favorite way to sit, but that wasn’t exactly why he was doing it. No, Levi did not sit here sipping tea in the sun just for the fucking fun of it. 

His head angled up a fraction of an inch as he spotted a man walking past. He was short, fat, in a neat suit and with an anxious expression on his ugly stubby face. Levi’s eyes angled towards him from their place under the brim of his hat. They followed him through the park, out the gate. Once he was on the street he went out of sight, but that didn’t matter much. He’d circle back here, he always did. The park was the shortest route available, and the man hated to get his shoes dirty by walking through the street around it, which was still wet and slippery with frost. 

Levi took another sip of his tea. A woman walking a tiny crusty looking dog smiled and wished him a good morning. He grimaced and made a sound that landed somewhere between “Good morning to you too ma’am” and “piss off”. He wasn't sure if she heard. Didn’t care much either. Putain, small talk was a nuisance. And a dangerous one at that. Say the wrong thing, and you’ve etched yourself in someone’s memory like a big bright warning sign. 

Time ticked by. His tea grew colder, and he swallowed what was left in the cup before it became gross. He didn't throw the cup away yet, it was still useful when empty. The thin soaked cardboard, the wobbly edges, the smell of paper. 

It provided him an alibi, however flimsy it might appear. For as long as he held that stupid cup, nobody would question him sitting on that bench in the sun.

The man sped by again. This time, his face was relaxed, though his steps still hurried. In his hand dangled a leather suitcase, the kind businessmen and government workers used for their papers. The locks were suspiciously heavy, but that was the only thing out of the ordinary. 

Levi waited until the man had passed him by, crumpled the paper cup like he'd just finished it, and sauntered out after him. 

He tailed him through the park. 

Out the wrought iron gate. 

The man didn’t notice him. Why should he? Levi was all the things he was used to ignoring. Barely worth a second glance, if he even noticed him in the first. Ill dressed and of short stature, shoulders angled inwards and his head down. Nobody in their right mind would expect anything from him.

The man was too caught up in his own excitement to even pretend to be in his right mind.

The suitcase dangled in his hand. It looked heavy. Levi imagined what it would feel like in his hand, and settled on warm and sweaty. Disgusting, like all things were this side of Stohess.

“Oi!”He called out once they were alone. The man’s step jerked, then sped up again. 

“Oi, I’m talking to you, you fat pig. D’you see anyone else?” 

“And who do you think you are?” The man reeled around and-

It was quick. It was quiet. It happened before anyone could see or take note of it. 

“Next time you decide to be a piece of shit, you do it where I can’t find you. Deal?”Levi asked while wiping the handle down. It left a stain on the cloth, proving his earlier observation correct. No way in hell he was holding a sweaty grimy handle.You’d think a rich asshole could afford to keep his hands clean.

The man whimpered, cradling his left hand against his chest. His beady eyes glared at him, but Levi wasn’t too worried. He was a hard man to recognise. The only identifying factor he had was his height, but he had his contingencies for that.

“Who in the name of all that’s good are you?”The man asked weakly.

Levi picked the suitcase up and swiftly banged it against his pudgy head. 

“Even if I were stupid enough to tell you, you wouldn’t find it there”,He said coldly as the man's expression went blank. With a little luck he’d forget all about this. It was a big city after all. The chance of this being traced back to Levi was as good as nonexistent.

He left the man on the street, putting as much speed into his steps as he reasonably could. 

It really was a bright sunny day.

“Petra”,He said as he walked into the dingy office building, tucked between an empty post office and an apartment block. The smell of coffee and old paper was impossible to ignore, as were the yellowing walls and the stains on the floor that didn’t go away no matter how much effort they poured into it. 

“Ah, Levi!”,Petra beamed back from behind her desk, half a page sticking out of her 

typewriter. It was probably the most expensive item in the building, and she took it with 

her wherever she went. It was also an incredible nuisance. He’d seen her drag it around the metro once, in a giant case most would save for travel.

Her pale red hair was tucked behind her ears, the sleeves of her neat shirt rolled up to her elbows. She kept her nails short and unpainted, to make the writing easier or something. Levi suspected she just didn’t care enough about them to bother.

“It’s so nice out today. Are you staying the afternoon?”She asked. He didn’t directly answer her, instead walked up to her desk and raised the suitcase. Her eyes lit up, and she quickly shoved some papers aside to make space. 

“I didn’t think you’d get it so soon”,She remarked as he put it down, angling the opening towards her. She glanced at the locks, then back up at him. “Levi-”

“You open it. It’s not that hard”,He replied. 

She glanced down at it, then opened a drawer and grabbed a small bundle, taking one of the tools between her thin fingers. Her eyebrows creased as she slowly pushed it in.  Her caution was infectious. 

Levi kept a close eye on her fingers as they fretted with the lock. She was smart enough. Brilliant, even, in what she did, but shit- This was plain annoying to watch.

“Fucking Christ, are you picking that lock or fingering it?”He asked her while grabbing the back of the case and snatching the tool out her fingers. Click. Click. That’s all it took. 

“Stop being so careful. Don’t be afraid to break something, it can handle some pressure”,He said as he slid it back around. She chewed her lip, then nodded. 

She flipped the case open, then studied the contents and whistled. “Alright. I’ll take care of this. Assuming you won’t be staying?”

“Not until you have a case for me”,Levi replied as he pushed the lid closed again. He didn’t want to see what was inside, it was all the same to him. Coated in blood no one could see, it was all the same to him.  He was already out the door when Petra’s “Aye aye Captain!" sounded, nearly inaudible through the thick metal door. 

Nearly. 

His walk home differed by day, he tried to keep it unpredictable, but it never took him long. The only thing worse than being predictable is being slow. And Levi would never let himself be caught in these streets. 

The further he went, the shittier the view. The trash containers didn’t get cleaned out regularly, the street lights either burned out or simply not turning on when they should. He was lucky it was still early, it was a pain to navigate here at night. A pain he tried to avoid when he could. 

Levi walked around a man talking enthusiastically about pigeons to a wall, his eyes mostly kept on the ground to avoid stepping on glass or needles. He only had one pair of shoes. Couldn’t afford to replace them any time soon.

He grimaced after turning into his street, a stray dog digging through the trash. Its patchy fur might have been pale once, but it had the colour of dried shit as it launched its long muzzle back into the black crinkly bag. 

He sneered at it, then turned away and knocked at the door. It didn’t do any harm. If it stayed here for long he might chase it away. Stupid as the animals were, a mad dog was almost never welcome. 

The door’s locks clicked, slid and rattled open. Levi waited for it to be opened first to a small gap, then entirely. He sighed and stepped inside, swinging the door shut behind him. It creaked loudly as it slammed against the frame, the old hinges struggling to hang on.

“-Isabel-”

“I know, I forgot. Sorry Big Brother. Good thing it was you, right?”The girl said. Her eyes were wide and innocent as she watched him lock up again. He didn’t like the feeling of being watched, but from her he’d tolerate just about anything. 

“You might’ve been dead otherwise”,He replied dryly as he wiggled the final lock shut. It was old and rusted. He’d need to look into a replacement soon, before it broke.

“Check first. Unlock later”,He ruffled up her hair as he walked past, messing up her tightly pulled pigtails. She was still shorter than him, and he intended to make full use of that for as long as he could. 

“I told you I know! I just forgot”,She shrugged. He could almost hear the face she was making. “Ah, Isabel, what’s this? You’ve let a cop inside”,A bright, slightly too loud voice said. Farlan emerged half a second later, a dish towel hanging over his shoulder. Gross. 

“Ha ha. Like I’d be dumb enough to do that”,Isabel replied, hands on her hips. Farlan slung an arm around Levi’s shoulders, his shaggy blond hair brushing against his face. He didn’t entirely hate it, though he made a point of scoffing and rolling his eyes when Farlan spoke.

“How’s our detective man doing?” 

“Fine. And I wouldn’t put it past you”,Levi said dryly, looking at Isabel as he shrugged Farlan's hand off his shoulder. She stuck her tongue out, and Farlan snickered as he straightened up, clapping Levi’s shoulder on the way. 

Every pat brought forth a unique wave of fondness, one reserved for them and only them. They were his family, the only kind that mattered. It didn’t have to be more complicated than that. Isabel was a relatively new addition, but she had been quick to worm her way into their group. It had taken her barely any time at all before she had solidified herself as their little sister.

Lately he’d seen less of them. They worked when he was home and vice versa. He might have been free to leave the complicated life they’d met each other in, but if all three of them wanted to be able to do the same they needed money. He’d gladly work until he dropped if it meant getting them to a safety that’d last.

Isabel and Farlan’s attention redirected back to each other, their familiar squabbling filling their tiny worn-down kitchen.

Levi hung his coat next to the door and grabbed a chair, watching the argument unfold. It was good to be home. 

The girl let out a cry of pain as the car turned a tight corner. Her wrists hurt. She couldn’t see them, could barely see anything, but she felt the rope rub against her skin. It was too tight, but she didn’t dare try to get it off. It was the one thing she could be sure of. 

He might hurt her again. 

Or he might not. The not knowing was the worst.

She shivered as the vehicle settled on a straight road again. Her teeth clattered together, soft at first, but eventually so hard she was scared she would crack one. What would she do then? There was nobody who would help her, she didn’t think. 

Her chest tightened around her heart, and she held back tears. They itched at the back of her eyes.

What would they do to her if she wasn’t perfect anymore?

The car came to an abrupt halt. She let out a strangled yelp as her small body slammed against the side of the car. Her fingers pressed to her mouth, hoping, begging to go quiet again. They might ignore her if she went quiet. They might forget all about her, and she could bite through her ropes and push the door open and run back home.

Like someone out of a story. 

Or a tiny moth flying for the porch light.

The footsteps killed any chance she saw of her escape, the sound of shoes crunching gravel growing louder as they walked closer. Her fingers grew damp. She pressed the tips between her teeth, biting down on them.

Quiet, quiet, just be quiet. She pulled her legs closer to her chest, as if it would help. As if it would make her invisible. 

The footsteps stopped. 

Then there was the turning of a lock, and the lid of the trunk made space for bright lights and a cold hovering face. 

A hand reached out and grabbed her wrists, lifting her up without much effort. She moaned as the ropes cut deeper into her arms, not daring to do anything else. He was so strong. So big. 

Her heartbeat slowed from the frantic flutter it had been. Her fear cooled, then settled into something much deeper, and much harder to shake. It didn’t really matter. If she was a brave girl, a flighty moth, or a scared nothing, it didn’t matter.

She was trapped anyway, and she would stay trapped.

Her arms relaxed, bare toes now brushing over gravel. The man held her by her elbows. Like she was a pig, or a bag. She didn’t struggle.

Maybe, if she went far away inside her head, it would end up hurting less. He raised her higher. She could smell his breath.

“Welcome home, Maria.”

Chapter Text

Erwin sipped his coffee, staring at the digital clock that decorated his small kitchen table. He’d made it too bitter today. 

It seemed to bite behind his teeth, almost bothersome as he forced it down his throat.

Hange would be here to pick him up soon, and the taste hadn’t troubled him enough to make a new pot. 

The neon green lights blinked into a different number. Erwin mentally counted the amount of straight lines (22) as he emptied the plain green mug. 

His eyes moved smoothly along the familiar grooves. It was a comforting process, one that staved both boredom and nerviosity off. The cup steadily drained, the warmth seeping out of his fingers and into his stomach. 

Some might have found his routine simple, or perhaps even boring, but to him, a simple cup of coffee and a few minutes quiet were what made it possible for him to leave the house and face the world outside. There was no mask he had to keep up, no playing pretend in sipping a slightly too bitter beverage.

The peaceful morning was broken as he heard the signature shrieking of Hange’s tires slipping to a halt before his house. A resigned sigh, a glance out the window. 

He tore his eyes away from the clock, grabbed his briefcase and coat, and hurried out the door. “Good Morning!”Hange said, their head hanging out the small car window.

“Morning”,He replied, locking the door before walking over, taking extra care while opening the passengers door. It had fallen off once before. Erwin was nearly certain the long white scratch right of the handle had been caused by his attempt to catch it. He’d compensated them of course, but either they forgot to fix it, or they didn’t care enough to do so. 

“Are we looking forward to the day? Trick question, of course we are!” Hange said brightly, not waiting for him to put his seatbelt on before slamming their foot down on the gas. The car huffed painfully into motion, roughly approaching the feel of a bucking horse. Erwin felt himself jerk forward, then slammed back into his seat just in time to wonder what there was to be so excited about. 

The last news he’d gotten had been rather depressing. Which was exactly the problem, wasn’t it? He hadn’t told Hange about it yet, hadn’t told them anything. Nile had driven him home yesterday. 

For as far as Hange knew, Erwin's lack of communication could mean the meeting had gone positively. 

He stared blankly ahead, not truly seeing the road Hange seemed insistent to zigzag down. His briefcase bumped from leg to leg, creasing the stiff fabric of his pants. He looped the handle around his hook. Ironing his pants required slightly too much effort for him to mess them up before the day even started.

He wouldn’t tell them, he decided. Not yet. Not until he was absolutely certain his hands were tied. He couldn’t jeopardize their productivity. If he wanted to convince the board to rethink their decision, it was absolutely vital there was something to offer in return. 

And as much as he hated it, their plan wasn’t illogical. Rudimentary maybe, and short sighted, but it made sense for someone to reach for their sharpest knife when they felt threatened.

All he needed to do was convince them their knife was actually the dull one, and he was their only way to sharpen it.

“What’s with the long face? Is everything okay? If you have to puke, roll the window down. I cleaned this puppy only yesterday”,Hange asked while flexing their fingers over the wheel. What they considered cleaning was a mystery. 

Probably one that would never be uncovered.

“No, I’m okay. Thank you”,He told them. 

Hange grinned.

“Good thing, because I really very much need a fresh perspective on Sawney’s results, and Moblit is off burying himself in documentation again, like a jerk. You’re not doing anything too important today, are you?” 

They took their eyes off the road just long enough to shoot him a pleading look. Erwin met it with his usual expression, mentally going over his taken timeslots of the day. 

“I should be able to come by after noon. Does that work?”,He asked them, quietly wondering if he was supposed to know who Sawney was. It hadn’t been on any paperwork he’d signed. 

Hange nodded,”Yep, perfect! This could really be something special, I just know it! Ah, Erwin, I’m so glad we have you on our side now. Nobody can refuse us anything.”They said, shooting him a grin so relieved he couldn’t help but wonder how it had been for them before he’d stepped in. 

He’d always assumed the department had coped somewhat fine before he had been assigned there. 

Their words pressed on his shoulders, but he managed to nod politely,”I’m honored you think so highly of me. I’ll do my best to live up to your expectations.”

Hange laughed at that,”Hah! You’re so formal, really Smith, sometimes I forget who I’m talking to and then-”

They hiccuped, shoulders shaking slightly. “Oh man, I need to compliment you more often.” Erwin gave them a smile that spread across his features all too easily. It wasn’t genuine, but he knew it looked that way. He didn’t even know if he would be able to produce a genuine smile if he wanted to.

Hange turned into the thin road, flanked by high electrical fences. Red lights blinked on as the gates opened, and Hange, driving slowly for once, waited patiently for the metal bars to slide away.

The car rocked into a halt on the facilities parking lot. It was a good thing they came early. Erwin feared for the safety of any vehicles Hange passed by, navigating a packed parking lot seemed like a recipe for disaster. He took a few coins he’d stored in his pocket for gas and handed them over, not looking how many he actually gave. It wouldn’t be too little, and that was all that really mattered. 

If it wasn’t for Hange he’d have to figure out a bus route, and there was no stop that avoided an extra half hour to walk to work. Hange stuffed them in their pocket without counting, all their attention focused towards roughly shaking the car key until it fell out the socket.

“You should-”, The words “get that fixed” died on his tongue, and he resigned himself to silence. 

“Huh?”

“Nothing, just thinking out loud.” He was sure they knew, and even more certain any concern would end up being dismissed. Hange was old and wise enough to take care of themselves. In theory.

They talked about nothing important as they went inside the yellow-bricked building. It looked awfully unassuming, more like a large school than a highly secure government institute. The guards at the door didn’t bother asking for their badges anymore, their faces as familiar as a neighbour's would be. 

Probably more in Erwin's case. The last time he had spoken to the woman next door had been to return her cat, Socks, when it had escaped into Erwin's pantry over two months ago. She’d thanked him and invited him to come over for coffee some time, but that time hadn’t come yet, and now it was too late to bring it up. Not that he wanted to. 

“Have fun today! Don’t forget to visit the lab. I should be in there practically the whole day, although I might have lunch with Moblit later. He asked me yesterday, don’t you think that’s odd?”They asked, a small crease in the space between their eyebrows. 

“He’s a nice man”,Erwin replied simply. 

“Yes? I know he is. Oh, shit. Do you think he was just being nice?”

“Do you hope he was?”He asked, raising his eyebrows slightly.

 Hange’s worries felt like something from another world, a life he hadn’t associated with his work until now. It was odd seeing their eyes dart behind those thick rectangular glasses, the fingers twisting and untwisting. 

“I mean- I don’t know, I don’t really have time to worry about things like that”,They said. “Think about it. I’ll see you in a few hours, Hange. Good luck”,He said before raising his hand and walking away.

Yesterday's meeting reports were waiting for him on his desk. Accompanying them was a small, neat bundle of papers that he was certain would contain further information for the budget cuts, regulations and reports and such. He took a short moment to stare at them, the small pile as intimidating as a raging bull, then took his coat off and draped it over the back of his chair before taking a seat. 

The words wouldn’t change if he didn’t read them, the situation wouldn’t improve if he was unaware. He needed to know everything.

He read through them once.

Twice.

Thrice. 

After the third time, he pulled at the bottom drawer and poured himself a shot of whiskey. It burned through his throat, settling into a warm sludge in his stomach. 

The only good news he’d gotten was a neat list of names of people who had pushed for the reduction. It was always good to know who the people opposing you were, there was only so much you could do against a faceless enemy. 

He set the glass aside. There was no time to lose, not if he still wanted to make a difference. 

He raised his phone off the hook, twisting the dial for the right number. The round disc spun, rattling from number to number. 

All in all, he felt remarkably calm, he noticed as the horn rang in his ears. Not that it was anything out of the ordinary. Still, he’d hoped it would provoke some reaction.

His voice was perfectly level when he spoke. 

“Good morning sir. This is Erwin Smith speaking. I was hoping you’d have time for a private meeting-”

Levi sneered at the overflowing trash can. Fucking filthy thing.

Old files stuck out the top, dust and lint sprinkled between. 

Was that a half-eaten donut? 

There was no way he was going to get anything done with that in the office. The assault on his nose was almost enough to count it a personal attack. 

How Mike with his sensitive nose managed to happily scribble away only three desks over was a mystery to him. The man must have smelled dozens of unpleasant smells daily, why put up with one more instead of taking care of it?

Yesterday had been a Thursday- Oruo’s turn to empty it. 

He scowled at the plastic container before walking to his desk to retrieve his gloves. His desk was the neatest in the building, bright blue with a neat plastic tray for files in the corner. It was empty apart from the top-left drawer, which contained his cleaning supplies. Yes, he kept his own cleaning supplies at work. Call him a neat-freak, they’d come in more than handy.

He grabbed his gloves, long and yellow and technically made for dishwashing, but he wasn’t insane enough to tackle that particular biohazard bare-handed. 

On the one occasion he’d forgotten his gloves, he’d managed to stick his hand almost straight into a tub of moldy yoghurt that had been marinating for the better part of three days. 

He’d felt the slimy substance between his fingers for weeks. 

He grabbed the sides of the bag, tugging it up. It was heavier than he had expected, he wondered what the fuck they’d thrown away to make it this heavy.

“It’s not your turn today, you know”,Mike informed him, walking over with his hands in the pockets of his pin-striped jacket. He walked past Levi to the water stand, grabbed one of the old porcelain cups and turned the tap open. The water spluttered loudly before assuming a steady steam, rapidly filling the chipped cup.

“I can’t work with this in sight. It’s filthy”,Levi replied, tying the bag closed. The plastic against rubber made a horrible noise, and he knotted the ends together as fast as he could. 

“It was pretty gross. Ah- shit”,Mike said, struggling to close the tap as water started flowing over the edge of his cup. Levi gave him a deadpan stare as he watched the man scramble to mop up his mess. 

“That’s what you get for not paying attention”,Levi said, right as he yanked the bag and the thin plastic near the bottom tore open. 

“You were saying?”Mike snorted with that signature nasal quality.

Levi stared in horror as trash spilled over his shoes and the carpet, his fingers tightening around the useless remains of the bag. 

“You could wait for Oruo, make him clean it up. Bastard would deserve it”,Mike said, still grinning a little too wide for Levi’s liking. He stepped out the garbage, holding out his hand for tissues.

Mike handed them over from their spot next to the water stand. No way he was going to waste a perfectly good handkerchief on this. He cleaned his shoes, not wanting any liquids to cause damage. 

“And leave it like this? I don’t know about you Mike, but personally I don’t like the smell of garbage soaked carpet”,He said while scrubbing a stubborn smear that could have been the inside of a tea bag once. His fingers itched inside their glove covers, still reeling with disgust. 

If Oruo had just taken the trash out like he was supposed to…

Mike shivered and grimly shook his head. He put his cup aside, grabbed a new bag and a handful of tissues and started gathering the trash together. That was the good thing about Mike. He might have been quiet and standoffish half the time, he was genuinely helpful to keep around and didn’t complain much. Much better than Oruo in Levi’s opinion. 

Petra and Nanaba were fine. 

“What’s everyone gone for anyway? It’s a fucking ghost town”Levi asked while swiping a handful of plastic wrappers inside the new bag. He cringed internally when Mike picked up an old teabag with his bare fingers, tossing it in the open bag. Going off the amused glance the man shot him, he suspected he failed to keep his expression internal as well. 

“Petra’s meeting a possible client, so she took Oruo with her. I think it was about a possible kidnapping, but I’m not entirely sure. Nana’s not in today. She didn’t feel so hot yesterday. Think she might be getting sick”,Mike said with a worried line next to his mouth. 

Levi didn’t acknowledge the words, instead pushing the last of the trash into the bag before dabbing the tissues against the blue and yellow carpet. They very quickly turned a filthy shade of brown. He scowled at them before replacing them with new, clean ones.

Even after he’d cleaned it to near-perfection, his hands itched to keep scrubbing. He could still see the stain, if he squinted. 

Mike was the one who announced it done, grabbing the bag and carrying it to the large container outside. The crinkling of the bag seemed to fill the entirety of the dingy old building as he walked down the stairs, until he took him and his noise to the world outside those heavy metal doors. 

Levi peeled his gloves off, careful to not let the outer layer touch his skin. He’d wash them at home. For now, they were discarded at a safe distance from both the trash and his desk. 

The door opened again, this time not falling shut immediately. 

Petra and Orou? 

Or Nanaba? He hoped for Petra. 

Shitty of a thought as it was, he could use the cash they’d hand him for a solved kidnapping. Most of the time those turned out to be runaways, but even then, worry paid well. The price he got paid wasn’t the best, not as high as he could get. Still, it was the only place that paid in cash and was still somewhat on the right side out the law. 

He’d managed to get out once. 

The others relied on him, and he couldn’t help them from inside a cell. Or floating in a river.

Isabel was still young. 

He’d need to get her out before she was seen as an adult. 

“Levi, come down. Petra wants to talk to all us,”Mike shouted from the bottom of the stairs. 

He could hear Oruo’s loud chatter, Petra’s firm corrections, and his heartbeat quickened just a bit. Petra didn’t talk about a case if it wasn’t big. 

Maybe this would be just what he needed.

“Ah, Erwin. Take a seat son”,Dot Pyxis said as Erwin pushed the door open. 

“Sir”,He greeted with a nod. The thick wood fell in its frame, shutting the both of them in. Pyxis’ office was small and square, with bookcases lining one wall and a map of the country hanging behind the desk. It felt oddly homely for an often empty office in a research-focused facility like this one.  

Erwin took a seat in the wooden chair opposite to Pyxis’ at the desk, his back straight. The clock on the wall quietly passed ten.

“Thank you for seeing me sir. My apologies for approaching you this early in the day.”

Pyxis huffed a laugh,“I was surprised you didn’t initiate this sooner. I thought you’d take the first opportunity to advocate in person for your department. Another day and I’d already be gone all the way to Mitras”,The man said, leaning on his knuckles as his eyes scanned a piece of paper. Erwin couldn’t read it, not from here. 

Erwin nodded once. He had lost the opportunity to talk to two of the five officials pushing for the cuts this way. They had left Shiganshina before the sun had even risen, scattering across the country. He had send out telegrams. 

So far, none had even arrived yet, and he didn’t expect a reply back. 

If it were dire, he might be able to arrange transport, but that would take time, time he didn’t have.

The reductions would be applied as soon as possible, at the start of the following month. That gave him only weeks to prepare.

His next salary would suffer a blow as well, but it were the people working under him who would take the brunt of these decisions. 

Salary deductions, slimming supplies, harsher deadlines and of course the ever-feared lay offs. Research was often underestimated, and this would stall their progress for months, if not years. 

He thought of Hange, of how driven they were. Their hard work was bound to show results some day soon, he was nearly certain. They were the most ingenious mind of the decade. To strip them of their resources was to halt progress dead in its tracks.

“Allow me to start by saying I’m very sorry I had to be the one to break the news. I don’t agree with the decision, not one bit. If it weren't for the innovation of science we’d still be fighting wars with sticks and stones after all.”

But there’s only so much a silly old man like me can do.”

“When word comes from upstairs, my hands are as tied as yours”,Pyxis said while clasping his hands together, as if curious to see what Erwin's response would entail. 

“With all due respect sir, I don’t think that’s the case”,Erwin said, perhaps a bit too strongly. He immediately felt himself freeze at the error, studying Pyxis’ reaction. Luckily, the man didn’t seem put off by his words. 

Still, it was a stupid mistake. He wouldn’t make it again.

Pyxis raised a singular eyebrow,”Are you suggesting I don’t know my standing?”

“I’m saying that a government standing, in your own words, at the dawn of war, would do well to listen to her military advisors, sir”,Erwin retorted. He leaned forward slightly, directing the full intensity of his pale blue eyes into Pyxis’ wrinkled green ones.

“The people making these decisions have likely not held a gun for anything other than a hunt, sir. They might be certain of their own confidence, but when it comes down to it, they'll be afraid to do what it takes. They can not afford to make the choices a man such as yourself would so easily make. 

That prospect must frighten them. It won’t be long before they’ll be standing at your doorstep begging for your insight”,He went on, cautious to keep his voice in a collected register. 

“What is it you’re asking me, exactly? Are you basing all your arguments on a hypothetical scenario?”The older man said, his eyes carrying small dots of light. Erwin recognised the faint amusement for what it was. Pyxis might have been listening, but he was not invested, not ready to follow his orders the way he wanted him to. 

“As of right now, I don’t have anything concrete to present. There’s a promising development in one of our facilities further north, a herbicide that could potentially be developed into a powerful weapon, and I’m extremely confident in the ability of our local head scientist. They are working around the clock for the good of the nation, sir. If given enough time and funding, I have no doubt their contribution will be groundbreaking”,That Hange didn’t have anything to show for just yet, he didn’t mention. The carrot had been thrown. His eyes were trained on the minute details of Pyxis’ face. If this didn’t work, he’d have to find something else to put pressure on him. 

“Hm. Such a thing won’t fare well if you would try to approach the other members of the board.”

Erwin suppressed a sigh,”No, it didn’t. To be entirely honest, you are somewhat my last hope sir”,Erwin said, finally resorting to a gamble of words.

There were two possible ways this could go, one marginally better than the other. Worst case scenario, the man would laugh in his face and he’d never gain back the respect he lost. He’d have to resort to plan B, which would involve a lot more effort on his part, and a lot more risk. Blackmail was almost never clean.

But if it worked…

“Sorry excuse for a last resort, son”,Pyxis told him instead of laughing, his voice instead somewhat gruff. The older man didn’t waver in staring him down, and Erwin had to be impressed at the commitment. “What’d the others say?”

Erwin straightened up again, recalling his earlier conversations,”Their opinions ranged from disinterested to hostile, sir. I’m not asking you to give me your unconditional support either. I just want to present to the board once. If that fails, and general opinion stays the same, I’ll resign”,Like hell he would,”Naturally, my voice doesn’t carry the same weight yours does. It would be immensely helpful if you would advocate for an opportunity to present an alternative course of action, sir”,He said, not breaking eyecontact. 

“Can you assure me it would be for the betterment of our nation to pursue this?”

“With all my heart, sir.”

Pyxis leaned back in his chair. “Funny that. Just what I wanted to hear”,He said quietly, the corners of his mouth pulling up. 

“Keith mentioned there was a smart recruit the year you joined. Your techniques need polishing, but I can see what he saw in you. With some practice you could have become a great strategist”,The man's eyes wandered to Erwin's prosthetic arm, and for the first time he turned them away from him entirely,”Such a damn shame.”

“It’s not a shame if I can still be useful here, sir”,Erwin answered, keeping his expression carefully stone-faced. He tugged his sleeve down, until it nearly covered the entire arm. It would get stuck in the plating, but he didn’t want to think about that. It was better this way.

“I suppose not. I’ll see what I can do for you, Erwin. You’ll hear from me soon enough”,Pyxis told him, standing up. This early, he wasn’t drunk yet, and his motions were steady.

Erwin followed his example, taking the hand Pyxis offered. The shake was slightly awkward, as all of Erwin’s handshakes tended to be. He thanked the man for his time before leaving, shutting the door. It settled heavy behind him, seeming to breathe along with himself. He glanced at his watch. It was too early for his meeting with Hange. 

An apt opportunity to catch up on paperwork. 

He looked at the report in his hands, not entirely sure what he was looking at. ‘Subject 003’ was written in the top corner, ‘SAWNEY’ scribbled next to it in thick scratchy red lines. There were a lot of mentions of words he recognised as chemical elements, words that were long and twisted around themselves. 

Some he knew the basic description of, others were entirely foreign. 

If he had time, he’d have been able to make sense of it, and draw his own conclusions. Time Hange wasn’t willing to spare.

He glanced up at Hange, whose eyes were so big and round they were at risk of falling out their sockets. 

“And? Amazing, don’t you think! Oh, my babies are so gloriously complicated they’re making me dizzy! I can’t wait until I get clearance to gather more! Erwin, don’t you think they’re beautiful?”Hange all but squealed, fists pushing their cheeks hamster-round. 

“Complicated is a fitting term”,Erwin mumbled as he studied the results. He’d enjoyed the standard education in his region, which had been mostly geared towards language and math. 

In the army he’d mostly learned about history, weapons, tactical positions and equipment. Obviously he’d tried to educate himself further once he was assigned here, but there was a limit to what his books could teach him. 

In simpler words, he felt like a child attempting to read an ancient codex.

Lucky for him, Hange had been kind enough to scribble a summary near the bottom. 

“Leg grow back!!!”,He read flatly, pronouncing every additional exclamation. 

“Hm? Oh, that’s an ‘e’”,Hange corrected.

Erwin strained his eyes, looking closer,”Are you sure? Doesn’t look like an ‘e’. It’s round.”

Hange stuck their tongue out,”Don’t be such a sucker for details Smith, you’re completely missing the point!” 

Ah, the point. 

Yes.

“Hange, could you possibly walk me through the results? But please, try to keep it short. I have somewhere I need to be by two”,He said, innocently letting the lie become obvious.

“Liar. You always have somewhere to be and yet you still find time to criticize my spelling”,Hange responded before gracefully nodding, as if they’d be doing him the greatest favor by dumbing down their language,”But yeah, sure, I can give you the highlights. In fact-”

They said with a wink that managed to make his stomach drop ever so slightly. “-I’ll provide you a demonstration!”

They showed him to the room containing their test subjects, locked away in small glass terrariums filled with blue-tinted water. “Erwin-”They said while pulling one out,”Meet my baby Bean!” The water sloshed around violently, and Hange almost immediately course-corrected, a slew of babytalked apologies spilling out their mouth. 

They carefully set the tub on a table, signaling him to look closer.

The creature in the tub looked almost entirely unremarkable to him. It was about the length of a hand, long and thin with a wobbly round head attached strangely at one end, almost as if it had never been intended to have grown there at all. All along its mostly translucent body were a series of long hair thin legs, all moving in sync. It almost looked like it was breathing. 

“It hasn’t been officially classified yet, but we suspect it might be related to Hallucigenia, I can lend you material about it if you’d like. I’ve been calling them Hallucingenia Ymir, after the norse god whose flesh was used to build the world in ancient mythology.”

Erwin straightened up, frowning slightly,”Seems awfully grim”,He remarked. 

“Yes! But look- Aw, they don’t really feel pain like us, but still- look what happens when I sever a leg”,Hange’s eyes gleamed like that of a wild animal, filled with a ravenous hunger. It was that very drive that had led Erwin to defending them so vehemently.

They reached for a pincer, wincing when the metal snapped one of the legs clean off. It was nearly invisible, thin as it was.

“Look!”,They breathed, eyes nearly pressed against the glass. 

For a moment Erwin wasn’t sure what he was looking for, then he caught a small sliver line of steam flowing from the cut. The leg, hair thin but moving like it was filled with muscle and ligament, steadily grew back. 

In a matter of seconds, the entire limb had regenerated. Hange turned to him, their eyes bright and practically devouring him with their intensity.

“Imagine, Erwin, what we could do with a power like that!”

“So you called us all here for what?”Levi asked, hovering near the door of what Petra had dubbed: the investigation room. 

Fancy name for just a regular empty room. The only thing that set it apart was a slab of drywall they used to pin pictures and files against. 

Petra had that familiar determined frown on her face, the one that said that whatever was about to come was important and demanded everyone's full attention. 

“I called you all here because- well- Orou and I went to see a client today, and we talked about potentially taking her case. I haven’t agreed to it yet, mostly because I’m afraid it might be a bit above our pay grade”,She said, looking almost embarrassed to say the words. Levi crossed his arms, staying quiet for the time being.

“I think we should do it”,Orou said with a shrug,”There’s no reason we shouldn’t.”

“Hang on, if we are going to discuss this as a group Levi and I need more to go off. What’s the case?”Mike asked with a pointed glance at Orou, who made a point of rolling his eyes. They had one great big window in the building, and Oruo liked to use it as a bench. His shadow stained the wall, one leg lazily swinging back and forth.

“The case concerns the disappearance of nine year old girl Ymir Fritz”,Petra said while pinning a black and white picture to the drywall. Levi felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise when she moved out the way. The sunken eyes, the greasy hair, the way her neck seemed to collapse in on itself. 

All the signature signs of a kid not being looked after, glaringly obvious on the sad expression.

He turned his eyes away, but hers didn’t leave.

“Ymir is in the foster system, but her disappearance was reported by her biological mother after she didn’t show up to a mandatory meeting. Her foster parents have also gone off the grid”,Petra chewed her bottom lip, then raised her hands, like she was trying to gather them to her side.

“Guys, the number of possible leads is really low. She moved around so much and- I mean. There’s almost nothing to go off, and the police have already declared her a cold case. I’m not sure there’s much we can even do-”

“How long’s it been?”Levi asked. The girl's black and white eyes followed him as he paced through the room, settling at Mike’s elbow. 

He usually hated standing next to Mike. It made him feel smaller, but in a bad way. 

Also left him even more open to Ymir’s printed stare.

It made his skin crawl. 

“It- Nearly two weeks. Most leads will have gone dead by now. Really Levi, the chance we find her, let alone find her alive is-”

“So what? We leave her god knows where to rot?”Levi spat. 

Petra cringed at the words, and Mike seemed similarly thrown off, judging by the sudden rush of air sounding above Levi’s head.

Petra, for all her cringing and guilty looks, didn’t back down. She never did. That was why it was so annoying.

”We have to be realistic here. The possibility of us finding her is so small- I don’t want to give her mother hope just for it to turn out to be a big waste of time.”

“Which is exactly why we won’t waste her time and simply find her. We’ve solved dozens of these cases, and we always found at least something to return”,Orou said dismissively. 

Didn’t even have the decency of flinching under three hard stares.

“Seventeen. Orou, we solved seventeen, and twelve of those were runaways’,Mike reminded him sternly, nostrils flaring. 

“So? A missing kid’s a missing kid, right? We’ll locate her in no time!”

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you sometimes! Don’t you have a heart?”Petra questioned. 

Orou already opened his mouth to answer when Mike stepped in,”Alright, that’s enough. Acting like bickering children isn’t helpful to anyone. We’ll decide, as a group, if we want to take this case when Nanaba gets back. Until then we don’t make any rash decisions. Yeah? Sounds reasonable?” 

Levi met Mike’s tight glance with a scowl and a nod. How anyone could simply refuse a case like this out of fear of failure was beyond him.

 Yes. It felt like shit when a case turned out to be a bust.

But did that justify turning his head away from every hard-to-crack nut? 

Orou and Mike were already out the room by the time Levi got the the door. He hesitated, then took half a step back. 

“Remember what you said when you brought me in? Bet you never thought the filthy street rat would do a better job at it than you”,He spoke cooly, but Petra’s eyes still widened like she’d been slapped.

“It’s not like that!” She said, her cheeks flushing red. Levi held her gaze for a slightly longer time than necessary, until Petra’s eyes stopped darting. He let it go, not surprised to connect once again with the papery photographic pupils. 

“Prove it.”

“Open wide for me now. There’s a good girl”,The doctor said. The girl obediently opened her mouth, letting the stranger inspect her teeth and tongue. His fingers moved along her teeth, into the gap where she'd recently lost a baby tooth. 

Baby teeth for baby girls, that’s what papa used to say. It meant she was still little, but by the time she lost all of them she’d be big.

“That’s it. Everything looks perfectly fine”,He told her, giving her a firm pat on her head with his clean hand. She winced under the sudden touch, then quickly looked up. She didn’t want to stop watching. It was important to see him, to see everything going on in the tiny office. 

It was the first time she’d left her room in days. She wasn’t going to spend it looking at the floor.

She kept her legs pressed closed together, her hands stiff around the edge of the chair. It was yellow, but she wouldn’t be able to say more about it than that. The chair barely mattered.

The walls too seemed fuzzy and unreal, like they were made from clouds or dozens of tiny bugs all crawling together. It was cold in here, she realized, but then the feeling faded into the same dull humming that seemed to coat everything these days.

The only that was entirely solid and true were the yellow bands around her wrists, and the man currently shining a light into her eyes. 

He paused and hummed softly, his face so close she could see herself reflected in his glasses. Her hair seemed limp, her expression so still it looked like she was dead, like her mothers had when she had fallen down the stairs. She curiously studied herself in the reflection, she’d almost forgotten what she looked like.

The man chuckled, lightly tapping her chin. 

She let it happen, her face slack.

“Yes, you really are perfect. You are going to be a very special girl to us, Sina.”

Chapter Text

Levi stepped into the ‘investigation’ room on a dreary rainy morning, feeling about as sour as the weather outside. He was the last to arrive. The others were already talking, though they went quiet when Petra spotted him. Ymir’s dead eyes followed him from the door to the corner, trapping him like a deer in headlights. 

Shit, felt like it was even more haunted than it had been yesterday. Hadn’t he paid enough  attention then, or had he forgotten just how gaunt her face looked?

Petra scraped her throat, wearing a stoic expression that Levi found suited her oddly well. Made her look something fierce. 

Petra re-rambled through the same points she made the day before for Nanaba, who was looking fairly red-nosed and sickly. 

Levi kept a safe distance. 

She listened closely, only sniffing too loud twice. Nanaba and Mike were often attached at the hip when going out in the field, which translated nicely to offering a pack of tissues in the office. 

They were a team, as were Orou and Petra. 

Although if Levi had to guess, there was a bit more fondness in the former relationship than the latter. Not that he had much to say about that sort of thing.

Levi worked alone, which was fine by him. 

Meant there was less room for error, less questions, half the shit that got dragged into work. 

When needed he’d join the others, fine, but he had neither Petra and Mike’s ‘people skills’ or the logical brain Oruo and Nanaba were supposed to possess.

It was best for everyone to let Levi fetch the intel they needed on his own. They didn’t question where he got it, as long as it was right.

So far he’d never been wrong. 

“-And that’s why we needed your opinion, Nanaba. There are definite risks when taking this case, and this is the sort of thing that needs to be a joint decision. If we take it, we’re all going to have to pour everything we’ve got into it, otherwise the chances of us finding Ymir are nihil. Even if we do, we have practically nothing to go off”,Petra concluded. 

“Does- Does anyone want to add anything before we vote?”She asked, looking over the faces of her colleagues. 

Levi felt them rest on his features slightly longer than everyone else's. He sighed, then opened his mouth.

”I don’t like the odds much either. But you all know if we don’t find her, her future’s looking a lot darker than ours. At least we’re all sure we get to go home when this is done”,He said, not raising his voice above a poisonous grumble. He cast his eyes down for a second.

Not a sane soul would call him shy, but he fucking hated this all the same.

Orou whistled, waving one hand over his neck,”Man, your headspace must be a dark space to live in.” 

Levi threw the man a sneer.

”Just be thankful you get to sit on your ass and say it like it’s nothing”,He said. Ymir’s paper eyes continued boring into his, only now joined by four other pairs.

Much more alive, three-fourths more healthy.

“So now we vote?”,Nanaba asked, her sharps sounding more like round and sticky with her clogged nose and sore throat to match.

Petra looked around the room again, but when nobody spoke up to protest, she nodded. 

“I thought it’d be best to do an anonymous vote, to keep things fair. So-”She said, reaching for a shoebox,“-Everyone writes down either ‘yes’ or ‘no’ depending on if you think we should take the case or not. When you’re done you put the paper in the box. Then I’ll read it and we all do as it says, without complaining”,She explained as she held up five pieces of paper and pens. 

“Please, what are we, children?”Orou scoffed, but he took the paper and pen and scribbled something down regardless, barely looking at the mark he left. 

Levi looked at the small, insignificant piece of paper in his hand. It seemed absolutely ridiculous to let a child's future depend on such a flimsy little scrap.

He scraped his throat, then glanced up at Petra. 

“I cant- I can’t write this”,He said, hating the way their eyes all landed on him before softening into that stupid pitying bullshit.

Petra’s eyes widened just a fraction, and she nodded,”Of course, my bad. You can just draw a check or a cross.” 

At least she kept her voice firm. Nanaba had a habit of making hers sound gentler. T’was fucking humiliating.

Levi pointedly etched a check mark on the paper, accidentally stabbing through the upper corner. The tip bled a drop of ink, staining his finger. He wiped it, dragging a smear of red over his hand. His throat closed up, though he managed to keep It down.

“Doesn’t that go against the point of an anonymous vote?”Mike asked as Levi dropped his paper in the box. He was glad to see it go, and beckoned Mike for one of his tissues to rub the red of his skin.

“We all know his opinion anyway. I don’t think it makes any difference”,Petra said absently, her pen still hovering several inches away from her paper. Her eyebrows were tight.

Orou followed quickly after Levi, then Mike, and finally Nanaba. They were quick with it, stealing glances like school children. 

His stomach was antsy just watching them. 

Petra was last, her hand trembling slightly but her eyes hard as she dropped the little folded paper rectangle in with the other. She put the lid back on, held it tight and shook it up and down a few times. 

There was no way she’d voted yes. 

Orou obviously had, and so had Levi. 

That just left Nanaba and Mike. He guessed Mike had voted against, but Nanaba could’ve gone either way as far as he knew. 

That set them two against two. He crumpled up the red-stained tissue and tossed it in the trash. It got caught on the edge, but still managed to land inside the can.

“Yes”,Petra said, holding up Levi’s mutilated paper.

“No.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

Levi shifted his stance, straightening up slightly. A muscle near his jaw clenched and unclenched against his will.

Petra folded the last paper open and took a deep breath before revealing that it was also a yes. 

Levi breathed out with her. For just a moment, Ymir’s gaze seemed to soften.

Immediately Nanaba sprung up,”Habe you all losd your goddamn mindz?”She shouted, her eyes round with disbelief. 

Ok. 

Levi assumed she had been one of the no’s, then.

Who then, had voted yes?

“We can’d do thiz, nod with a case like thiz”,Her cheeks grew increasingly redder, and a raspy cough escaped her mouth. 

Mike patted her back, but she quickly spun away from his touch, glaring up at the taller man,“Whad were you thinking?”She asked, her anger impressive even through the snotty nose and red eyes.

Levi couldn’t see Mike’s face, but his stance betrayed it all.

“Back off Nana, it wasn’t him who voted yes”,Petra interrupted, her voice stern. Levi caught her eye, and she quickly looked away. 

“Pedra? I mean, I had expected it from theze idiots, bud you?”Nanaba’s voice sounded so betrayed it caught Levi off guard. 

He hadn’t realized just how opposed Nanaba had been to this whole ordeal. Still, he didn’t feel sorry for her. Her anger might have been justified, but he couldn’t agree with it.

“You are all so sdupid. ‘M going home”,She said, her eyes hurt as they shot over their faces.

“Nanaba, wait”,Petra pleaded as Nanaba grabbed her coat and stomped out. Petra’s words fell on deaf man’s ears. Not that Levi had expected otherwise. Nanaba was strong willed and stubborn.

Like all of them. It was part of the reason they stuck together so well.

“I hope we don’d go bankrupd because of your feebings”, She spat before leaving. For a moment there was silence, then the heavy metal door slammed shut. The thin walls seemed to shiver, shitty building that it was.

It might not have been the end to the vote anyone had hoped for, but it was what they had. 

Mike’s eyes were small and narrow behind his blond bangs. Must’ve hated watching Nanaba walk out like that. In truth, Levi hadn’t expected her to leave without consulting Mike first. 

Those two were all kinds of obnoxious together.

“She’ll come around, right?”,Orou asked, voice slightly unsteady. 

Petra sighed,”I sure do hope so. She’s the strongest detective we have after Mike”,She said, thoughtfully tracing a circle with her finger over the lid of the shoebox.

“And me. After Mike and I, right?”

“Orou. Shut up.”

The pen tapped against the desk. 

Tap. 

Tap. 

Tap. 

“You see son, we can’t keep you around in this state. It would be…Innappropriate, for you to continue as you have.”

Tap.

Tap.

Tap.

Erwin tried to catch a glimpse of the face of his opposer. It was dark and shadowy, impossible to much beyond the shiny polished wood and the shine of the pen. He knew he was sitting on a chair, though he couldn’t see it, just as he knew it was wooden with a green seat and round knobs on the armrest. 

“Think of the message it will send. You wouldn’t want to put us at risk, do you?”

No sir, he wanted to say, but the words never made it out of his head. 

The tapping of the pen seemed to grow louder, almost impossibly so.

Tap.

Tap.

 His throat seemed to close up, his mouth filling with a thick mucus that felt like it would choke him if he tried to swallow. Swallow- was that an option? As soon as the word appeared in his head it happened, and he lurched forward as sour tasting slime working its way down his throat. 

Down, or up.

Both. 

He was certain it was both.

He was going to choke in here, in the dark. Alone and on his knees with slime spilling out his mouth and nose, only the tapping of a pen for company. 

His stomach cramped, his ribs tightly hugging his lungs.

Everything was tight. Tight and strangling.

“Don’t take it personally. We’d have done the same for anyone with your….Predicament.”

His- His what? The realization, the inevitably knowledge clicked into place, slow at first then all at once. 

His predicament. His disease. His problem, his defect, his secret, just the one, all of them, his failure, his trouble, his inclinations, his-

His throat was definitely swelling, his lungs beating alongside his heart, raw and red and wrong.

Were they supposed to do that? 

He could feel them as he could see them, beating like muscle yet soft like a deflated ball. It was as if he were watching from inside his body, from outside his body, watching all the broken bits of him pulse their defect into the world. 

Look at me, they said. 

Look, and disgust.

Tap. 

Tap. 

Tap.

It wasn’t tapping at all, he realized with a start, it was footsteps- Hundreds. 

Thousand, millions of faraway feet all stomping in a perfectly drilled rhythm.

His heart and lungs and all the rest beat in the same dull cadence. One more amongst the million, one piece that was rotten and sick.

He was one of them. 

That was the one truth he would never be able to escape. No matter what he did, no matter what choices he made, he was what he was, and what he was was repulsive.

He threw up a river of slime, and in it swam tiny fish that gnawed at his arm.

“I am sure you understand, Erwin Schmidt. You would do the same if our roles were reversed.”

The nightmare lingered in his subconscious for the rest of the day, as this particular sort tended to do. 

He tried not to think of it too much. These things fed off of his attention, he figured it was best to ignore them and focus on what was really important. 

That being his work. And only his work. He also tried not to think about how miserable that sounded.

He attempted a pleasant conversation with Hange in the morning, and judging by their expressions, succeeded well enough. They were cheerful as always, which provided a nice distraction. 

He worked through his remaining paperwork, the more he dug into numbers and names the more the nightmare was pushed to the back of his mind. His heartbeat, which had been slightly above the average for the day, settled into the usual rhythm. He began to forget what had scared him so much in the first place. Paperwork was mind numbing of course, but as it turned out, that also had its advantages. 

Soon the words spoken were nothing more than a sour speck in the grand scheme of his day, as they always were. Erwin was very good at that, at making sure that however significant something seemed, it would always end up as nothing more than a memory or a lesson for the future. 

It was a skill he acquired through trial and effort, through hard work and sleepless nights and silent tears that were gone the next morning and never returned. There was an art to it, a sequence of choices that managed to stumble to the desired outcome. 

Erwin lived behind a mask, and in return, the mask provided him with all the most vital things. A social network, a face to wear, a voice to talk through.

If that meant he would forget how to form a genuine smile or talk to his friends without weighing every word, then so be it. It was a sacrifice he was more than willing to make. 

The world wouldn’t change for someone who refused to give anything up, that much he knew.

“Are we almost there yet?”Levi asked from his seat in the back of Petra’s car. Oruo sat in the chair before him, a large paper map sprawled out on his lap. Mike sat behind the driver, his neck bent in order to look out the window as the car drove further out the inner city and into the suburbs. Looked uncomfortable as hell, but who was Levi to judge?

“We’ll get there when we get there”,Petra said, her eyes a stern flash of brown in the small mirror. 

Levi gave a curt nod in response and sunk a little deeper into his seat.

With Nanaba’s absence, he was for once allowed out the eternal banishment of the middle seat. 

The additional leg space was nice for once, though he preferred the way he could keep everyone in sight in the middle. Just not enough to voluntarily slot himself directly next to Mike, who he knew blamed him for making Petra take the case. 

Mike might not have said so in words, but it wasn’t like Levi was stupid. 

Or blind.

“Where did these people even live?”Oruo asked as they steadily left the suburbs behind, moving onto the neighbourhoods of occasional trees and fields instead of houses and gardens. Levi stared out the window, hoping the car’d stop moving soon.

“Her mother did warn us it might’ve been difficult to locate them, but it shouldn’t be too bad. I can’t imagine them leaving a vulnerable child in a place that’s hard to access”,Petra said, her eyes trained on the road.

Mike snorted, a sentiment Levi quietly agreed with. As long as it was easy and cheap, there was a lot “they” were willing to do.

“Take the next left, and then we gotta go straight ahead for a few miles”,Oruo 

said with a sigh,”Hope we’ll be done in time, it sucks having to play navigator in the dark.”

“Chin up, I’m sure we’ll get there in time”,Petra said back with a faint smile. Levi hoped from the bottom of his heart that was true. He tried to avoid going home at night if he could, and sleeping in his chair at the office was starting to bother his back more and more.

Last time he did it it’d felt like his spine had knotted together near the middle. 

He jerked forward and slapped Oruo’s hand away when it crept towards the radio,”I am not listening to Cathy’s clown again”,He hissed as Oruo pulled his hand back. 

“And your opinion is the only one that matters?”The man asked with a scowl, rubbing the back of his hand. 

“For what it’s worth, I’m with Levi”,Mike interjected, momentarily uncrossing his arms before tightening them the other way around.

“And thank you Mike. Glad to hear you speak up for once. Is it so hard for any of you to take my side just this one time?”Oruo sighed loudly. He opened his mouth to complain again, but before he could the car drove over a shallow sink, and Levi heard the signature yelp of someone who just sunk his own teeth in his tongue.

“I like that song. It’s sweet”,Petra commented. 

“It did get old after the seventieth time”,Mike mumbled. Petra’s jaw tightened, and the glare she sent towards the tiny mirror was enough to send shivers down Levi’s spine. 

If he were the sort of person to get those, at least.

“Oruo. Turn the radio on”,She said softly. 

Oruo shot a nervous glance back, right into Levi’s slightly widened eyes. 

Don’t you dare, they said. 

Don’t you fucking dare.

“On. Now”,Petra hissed. 

“Oruo-”Mike threatened from the back seat. 

“Don’t listen to him, turn it on”,Petra insisted, staring ahead like her life depended on it, a pronounced muscle pulling in her jaw.

Oruo shot each of them a desperate look, then pulled himself together, shuffled the map down and-

“This is the last time I’m driving all of us”,Petra scolded as she slammed her door shut. The car shook slightly, and Levi felt his scowl lessen as he opened the door, a fresh bruise colouring his wrist red. The cool air pressed against the skin. 

“C’mon Pet, I was following your orders!”Oruo said, holding out his hands like he was begging for something. If that was how he was planning to get Petra’s forgiveness, he could beg a good long while, Levi knew that much.

“Really? Do you really want to go down that road?”She strode up to him, her red hair seeming to sparkle with electricity, and grabbed the man's red-and-yellow striped tie to pull him down to her level. 

“When on earth did I tell you to start a physical fight, in!”

Yank.

“My!”

Yank.

“Car!”She roared, pulling him down one final time before letting go. 

“Geez Pet, I didn’t know it bothered you so bad”,The man said, rubbing his neck. Petra seemed to inflate, her face red.

Levi left them to bicker it out on their own, his hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched together. The house they’d stopped at was broad and low. 

It reminded him of a school bus that’d shed its wheels and grown fat and lumpy. There was a broad driveway with puddles of rain and mud, and Levi could see the contours of a stable before the property rolled into rows of thick claustrophobic trees.

Mike had already walked up to the door, peeking through one of the windows.

“The smell’s old”,Mike told him as Levi joined him. “How long have they been gone?”Levi asked as he pressed against the door. It gave way under his fingers quite easily, likely already old and in need of replacing. There was no rug outside the door, no nooks or rocks that could hide a key nearby.

Mike straightened up, sniffing loudly. He looked oddly like a crow, sharp nose in the air and small eyes glistening. 

“I’d say around a week, week and a half tops. They left in a hurry.”

“You smell that too?”Levi asked as he took a step back. 

“Don’t need to, see. Tiremarks.Too deep for the sort of mud”,Mike explained, pointing them out with his thumb. Levi gave them a sour glance, then tch-ed.

“Didn’t take you for a mud fanatic”,He mumbled as he raised his leg and slammed it against the dingy front door. 

The lock snapped under the sudden impact, the door swinging open. 

“Think you can get Peppi and Kokki over there to help out?”Levi asked, pushing the door further open as it threatened to fall shut. The smell of mold spilled out. 

He crinkled his nose. Disgusting.

“Sure thing Cap’. Wait for us before you go in. I don’t smell anything yet, but it stinks so bad there might be a dog hiding or something”,Mike warned before turning back to their two still bickering colleagues. 

Levi waited until the man was halfway back to the car, hands next to his mouth as he said something inaudible, then went in anyway.

Unsurprisingly, it did stink inside. Not that he ever doubted Mike’s nose.

The sour smell of old milk and rotting fruit wormed inside his nose, making his blood curl away in disgust. It wasn’t an unfamiliar smell by any means, he’d been well acquainted with it for as long as he could remember. In this case familiarity did not mean pleasant. 

The room he found himself in was almost ironically empty. The low ceiling didn’t make the place feel less cold, instead it looked almost exactly like how he imagined the inside of a coffin would look like. The dusty walls were plain wood, ditto for the shitty flooring, and the light that hung from the ceiling seemed like it came from the wrong century. He tried the switch, but the only thing it did was leave a thin layer of dust on his finger- the electricity didn’t work. 

He wiped it clean and went deeper into the creaking, dark coffin of a building. 

The bathroom was small and disgusting, and the pantry even more so. It had bugs and maggots crawling around in slabs of meat that had been left abandoned on the shelves, the buzzing of flies constant and much, much too close.

There was meat, fruit, butter, some other dairy products and vegetables, and half a bag of potatoes. The small room stank so badly it made his eyes tear up, and Levi had to step out soon after entering to tie a clean handkerchief over his nose and mouth. 

That helped the smell, but not the bugs. He picked a fat fly out of his hair, resisting the urge to gag.

He walked straight past the kitchen and living room, trusting that the others would make it there soon. If he tried he could already hear Petra and Mike entering, the floorboards protesting from their shared weight. 

He picked a new door at random, the old hinges creaking loudly as it slowly swung open. It took Levi a second to realize what he was looking at, and then found himself staring at what might have been the most pathetic children's bedroom he’d seen in years. He counted three pieces of furniture total, one of which a dingy crib flipped upside down to hold a basket of clothes. 

There were no toys he could see, no posters or wallpaper. The bed was larger than his current one, the middle of the mattress having a noticeable dip, visible even underneath the blanket. Levi hadn’t had a proper bedroom of his own, but even with his mother he faintly remembered having something soft and comforting he slept with at night. 

The only comfort this child had had was a single grimy window. 

The space under the bed was dusty but empty save for a wandering sock, the clothes in the basket seeming clean, though he couldn’t shake the thought they seemed thin for the time of year. 

He paused when his eyes landed on a skirt with a dark stain near the bottom. It could have been anything, mud or juice, they did live on a farm after all, but once inside his head he found the thought hard to shake. 

He folded the clothes and put them back in the basket. Slowly a picture started to come together, a story he really didn’t want to be true. 

Runaway parents, a missing kid, an obvious lack of care…

The room was becoming more and more unpleasant to stick around in. 

It put a sour taste in his mouth, one he ignored the best he could. He tested the blanket, the mattress, the space between the bed and the wall. He fished out a small piece of paper, the corner of a drawing. The lines were scratchy and faded, it was hard to see what it was even supposed to be without the rest of the page adding context. Maybe it could be an arm, or a tree. He turned it upside down. 

Could very well be a tree. He put it aside, meaning to take it with him when he was done. It probably wasn’t relevant, but he felt it was important. 

Even if it wasn’t, it was the first clue a kid had actually lived here.

He heard the others rumble around in the rooms around him. Should he join them? He didn’t think he’d find much else in here. The room was sad and depressing, but it didn’t seem like there was much more to it. 

But there should. There was something that bothered him about it, but he didn’t bother exploring what it was exactly. The room seemed to pull him here, as if there was a rope from his stomach to the middle of the sunken bed, keeping him tethered in place. He took a few meandering steps through the room, only mildly disgusted by the dust floating through the air. 

There was more. There needed to be more.

It itched under his skin, as if his body was lined with a layer of sand.

He looked under the bed again. Stared through the cribs bars. Flipped the mattress upside down and held his breath as a cloud of dust and blond hairs touched his face. There had to be something, some real sign that a kid had suffered here, slept here, poured whatever was left of her heart into something. 

“Oh, there you are. I was wondering where you went”,Petra’s voice sounded as Levi pulled at the wooden windowsill. It hadn’t happened often, but he’d known the things to come loose occasionally. Made for an excellent hiding space if you were a scared hungry child. Good for marbles and such. Scraps of food.

Not this one though. 

“Did you find anything?”She asked as she joined him, looking at his hands with a puzzled expression. 

“Just that. You?”He asked in response, giving a final knock against the wood. Dull, as he thought. He nodded to the paper corner on the floor.

Petra followed his eyes, then went to pick it up. While she was busy, Levi started a last sweep of the room, tapping the heel of his foot against the individual planks. Dull. Dull. 

“That’s it? I hoped there’d been more”,Petra said. Levi ‘tch-ed’. Dull. Dull. 

“They left in a rush, but they did take anything useful with them. I hate it when bad people get the right idea for once”,Petra complained. 

“There’s really nothing?”Levi asked, moving away from the window. 

“Any evidence they left was circumstantial at best. Oruo’s enjoying himself gathering images in the pantry”,She said with a small smile around her lips. Dull. Dull. Hollow. 

He paused, then sank down on his hunches. Looked like a regular plank. Felt smooth with age and use under his fingertips.

“Is something there?”Petra asked, looking at him from across the bed. 

“Maybe”,He answered as he pried his fingernails into the crook between this plank and the next. Petra quickly stood up, hovering over him as he raised the plank,”Fingers crossed.”

Underneath it was a small empty space, about the length and width of a piece of paper. It wasn’t very deep, but for a child living in a place like this, it could hold any kind of treasure. Kids like Ymir, they didn’t have belongings that were too big to fit into this. 

He spotted half an apple, barely more than a hardened peel at this point. The fact she’d thought enough of it to save it for later said enough for him. 

Besides it was a pinecone, a simple iron ring, and a small book with a pen. Levi picked the ring and the book out, then covered the rest of Ymir’s treasures safe underneath the wooden plank. She’d tried to protect these items the best she could. He wouldn’t ruin that. 

He flipped through the book, it was filled with scribbly writing, small drawings, a picture of a girl and a woman. It made him sick. Everything in here made him sick. 

He handed the book to Petra, hid the ring safe in his pocket, and quickly left the sad little room for what it was.

Erwin's first impression of Rod Reiss was that he was short and arrogant without the necessary confidence to back it. 

His gestures were loud and abrasive, his voice overly jovial in a way that made him sound like an incredibly out of place Santa Claus. When he rested his hand on Erwin's shoulder it was hot and stiff, the fingers tightly curled together. 

He recalled seeing the man in meetings from time to time, not often enough to be considered a viable threat, but his status as government official made him dangerous to underestimate.

Whenever there had been a topic up for debate while he had been present, Reiss had nearly always followed the majority in his opinions. 

He was predictable.

And thus, not usually a concern.

His second impression was that whatever Reiss was trying to achieve, he was doing it out of genuine concern and worry. The man slipped him thinly veiled threats, stood too close next to him while he was just trying to fill his mug with coffee, and sweat beaded his forehead as if it were dew. All throughout there was a franticness, an insecurity. 

The final confirmation of that was a small, almost insignificant sentence: “And we both know there’s no point in studying when there’s a war on.”

Of course the only reason for him to approach Erwin at this very time would have to do with the upcoming meeting, the last formal chance to re-open the can of worms that was the Research department and how much money they were allowed to throw at it. 

Erwin was almost disappointed by the bluntness of the message, although he had to admit that for a man such as Reiss it would’ve been hard to pass the message along in a way that both conveyed the threat and had a tasteful degree of subtlety to it. 

And clearly, subtlety was not this man's strong suit. 

“I’ll be sure to take your words into consideration”,He said while flashing a polite smile. The coffee machine rattled loudly, and a steady stream of hot coffee fell into his mug. 

The hand on his shoulder finally left, leaving an uncomfortable spot of warmth on his skin. Reiss was still standing too close for comfort, the stench of sweat, whisky and cologne almost unbearable. 

“Yes. You do that. That meeting better go spotless, Smith. It’d be very expensive for something to go wrong at a time like this”,Reiss told him, clapping him between the shoulder blades before walking away, taking the vile smell with him. Erwin followed him with his eyes for a few seconds, until the short rounded figure turned a corner and went out of sight. 

Huh.

Wasn’t that an interesting development?

 He had expected some pushback, but he hadn’t expected it either this early or in this shape. Thinly veiled threats over a rattling coffee machine weren’t completely unexpected, but to get them from Rod-I-Don’t-Talk-I-Nod-Along-Reiss? 

It was good to see him feeling so threatened, Erwin must have had more people on his side than he had assumed.

Which raised the interesting question, why wasn’t Reiss? 

He took a sip of his coffee. It was warm but not hot, singing on his tongue in a way that made him eager for more. Why indeed. 

He’d have to read through the file in the blue binder he kept locked in a safe when he got home. Reiss was blunt, but a straightforward problem could still prove a hindrance. What did it say about him that the prospect was enticing to him? He had been dealing with nothing more than paperwork and bureaucratic disputes for months. 

He almost felt …giddy as he put his mug with the dirty dishware. 

It was almost embarrassing. 

No, not almost. It definitely was. 

Chances were Reiss wouldn’t even follow up his big words, that he was insecure enough to give up after the first time something went wrong. 

However. There had been real fear in those beady eyes. That didn’t happen without reason. It certainly did not happen to people with no stake in the matter, which Reiss was supposed to be. Rod Reiss. Who’d have thought there was anything happening behind that sweaty forehead?

“Erwin! Erwin?”Hange’s voice sounded, their head peaking into his office, one hand still on the doorhandle. 

“Yes?”Erwin asked once he got close. 

Hange gasped, let the doorknob go and quickly turned around, “Don’t do that! You almost gave me a heart attack”,They said, eyes wide and voice screechy. They moved as if they were going to slap him, though balled their hands into fists and cut their assault short.

“My apologies, I didn’t think it through",Erwin said as he pushed the door open. For what it was worth, he was genuinely sorry. He hadn’t expected them to respond so startled. 

“I should leave you here tonight. Make you walk all the way home for once, maybe then you’ll give me the respect I work so desperately for”,Hange said as they trailed after him, though the levity in their voice was more than clear. 

No damage done.

“You don’t need to gain my respect with punishment, Hange, I hoped you knew better than that. Besides, you need someone to remind you where the seatbelt clicks”,Erwin remarked as took a seat behind his desk. 

“I know where it is, thanks for the concern”,Hange retorted. 

“So your suicidal tendencies are by choice? I could report you for that. Rico is a great psychiatrist I hear”,He said while taking out a plain green notebook. 

“But if that gets me fired you wouldn’t have a ride anymore”,Hange said triumphantly, sitting backwards on the chair on the opposing side of his desk. Their hair was messy, tied behind their head with a piece of string.

“And thus we have arrived back at the original problem. What did you want to discuss?”

“Oh nothing much, I just need a day off later this week”,Hange said with a grin and a tilted head. “You can pull it from my sick days if that’s an issue, but I think I have enough vacation days saved up.” 

“No, it shouldn’t be an issue. Where are you going?”Erwin asked as he flipped through his planner. He’d pull Moblit from the archives to man the lab for the day. 

“Family stuff. You know how it is”,Hange replied with a shrug and a smile, animated and casual in that way only they can effortlessly produce.

Erwin forced himself to return the smile,”Yes, of course. Does upcoming Wednesday work?”He asked, writing a reminder to himself to fill out the paperwork for an authorized day off. 

“Yup, Wednesday’s fine! Thank you”,Hange beamed, their eyes shining with a light usually reserved for their test subjects.

He wondered absently what it was people consider “family stuff”, the words feeling odd in their sequence. Perhaps dinner with older relatives, perhaps taking nieces or nephews to a park or concert. Whatever it was, Hange was obviously looking forward to it, so it must have had some sort of merit. 

Erwin didn’t have any siblings, and he hadn’t spoken to his mother face-to-face in months, perhaps even years. For all he knew she could’ve moved across the country three times over. 

“Enjoy yourself. With all the hard work you’ve been putting in, you deserve a break”,He said, keeping his smile intact. 

“Oh I definitely will, don’t you worry about that”,Hange replied while standing up and turning his chair the right way around. 

“I trust you’ll make the most of your time. Will you inform Moblit he’ll be moved to the Lab?”He asked. Hange halted, paper slip in their hand.

“Yes, well, I can. Sure. Yeah. But do you want to do it?”

“Why would I?”

“I don’t know, I just think he’d rather hear it from you”,Hange said, trying very hard not to look him in the eye. Erwin frowned, taking a few seconds to remember if there was any development between Hange and Moblit he should’ve been aware of. With everything else that’d been going on, it was easy for more personal matters to slip his mind.

“Ah. Did lunch go badly?”

Hange turned their eyes down, taking their hand off the doorhandle. 

“I…Maybe sort of kind of wouldn’t know.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“It’s complicated!”

“Then simplify”,He said. The thought shot across his head; it wasn't his place to pry. He took it and stuffed it down. Unease in his ranks was a valid reason to dig deeper. 

Hange didn’t seem bothered by it either, more mildly uncomfortable by the topic than his pushing. 

“I…. might have gotten caught up in Sawney’s results and forgotten. And well, I haven’t seen him yet, so I can’t really apologise or anything. It’s kinda too late to do anything about it without making me look like some idiot”,They said with a red blush creeping up their neck. 

“Ah. I see. That is unfortunate”,He said blankly. “Then this is as good a time as ever to have you tell him the news.”

“Huh? Erwin!”

“You will have to work together in the future. It’s best to get this dealt with as soon as possible”,He told them, though he did feel a little bad for putting them in that position. But it was as he said, they were the powerhouse that made magic in the lab and called it science. Moblit wasn’t nearly as brilliant as Hange, Hange not coming close to his level of precaution and meticulous rapport. Together, they held great potential.

“What if I don’t want to?”Hange asked, hope shining in their eyes. It was almost saddening, to be forced to snuff out such a genuine light.  

“Then you’ll find you’re both conveniently scheduled for the same labs until you do”,Erwin deadpanned. 

“I really want to slap you right now”,Hange said, their eyes narrowing. 

“That’s a little concerning”,He answered. 

“Or bash you over the head with your own stupid hook.”

“By the time you’re done taking it off you’d be too tired to swing”,He answered, remembering the struggle he’d had with it in the early days of his prosthetic. 

“I’d applaud your efforts”,He added. 

Hange scowled, an expression that hardly constituted something worth being scared of. 

“I hate it when you act all bossy. But fine, I’ll do it. Don’t blame me if the road’s extra slippery this evening”,They said, yanking his poor door open before slamming it shut behind them.

Erwin leaned back in his chair slightly as he watched the wooden planks tremble. 

Wasn’t that always the case?

The girl blinked, her eyelids feeling heavy. They threatened to droop shut again, still tired and waiting to go back to sleep. She burrowed deeper underneath her blanket, curling in on herself. It was cold. Her bed was warm. The light was on, white and harsh and bothersome, but it nearly always was, so it didn’t matter too much. 

It was fine if she kept her head under the blanket. 

Then she heard the sound of a door rattling shut, and remembered why she woke up in the first place. 

She forced her eyes to stay open and sat up, her head feeling like it was filled with water. But she couldn’t go back to sleep. Not right now.

Not when there was another little girl in her bedroom. 

The other girl looked a little younger than she was, her blonde hair cut in a sharp angle near her jaw. Her dress was the same, just pink instead of blue. 

She had the same bracelets around her wrists, the same plain socks on her feet. 

“Hello”,She said, sliding underneath the blanket. The younger girl shivered, her dress falling over her shoulders like it was too big for her. She pulled them back up, though the other girl’s eyes were wide and scared. 

She’d hoped she was the only one here, but this wasn’t all bad.  At least she wasn’t alone anymore. They could have each other's back, she decided quickly. There were only the two of them. It wasn’t really a choice at all.

“You’re cold. Is it winter already?”,She asked, taking the girl's small, freezing hand in her own. The fingers felt like tiny icicles, and she rubbed her other hand over them to get them warm. The girl didn’t respond, her eyes following every motion, the way a mouse or squirrel would if they were scared the cat was outside.

“Have you been here for long?”She wondered as she compared the girl's bracelets to her own. Some of the numbers were different, some were the same. The skin underneath was red and a little swollen. The smaller girl pulled her hand back, her eyes quickly darting up. She went quiet. It was obvious she was scared of something. Of what, she didn’t know. Or well-

She just knew she wanted it to be better. “Come on”,She heard herself say,”It’s warmer under the blanket.”

As if to demonstrate, she walked back to her bed, shuffling over to the outer edge. The girl hesitated. Her arms were shivering, goosebumps covering the visible skin. She took one step, then another, and before long they were both huddled underneath the blanket, blocking out the hash lights. 

Their knees were pressed together to fit, their heads close enough to keep the blanket from falling in the middle. Their faces looked green and shadowy, the light transforming the blanket into paint. Their hands rested close together, her own warmth seeping into the coldness of the others. 

It felt like they were in a bubble, like they were unbothered by the eyes and ears that were always awake. They spoke quietly, like everything was a great secret, a code or a message only the two of them were supposed to know. She saw the movement of the cracked lips with every little breath, the way the younger girl's face seemed to grow rounder when she spoke.

“My name is Maria”,Maria said, so, so quiet.

“Rose”,Rose answered.

Chapter Text

“-And before I conclude this presentation, I want to remind all of you what has made our army what it is. The strength of our soldiers is great, our weapon capacity miles above the global average.”

“But we do not have just our strength to thank for our victories. If that were the case we would have been overrun years ago. The consistent factor in all our greatest triumphs has always been our level of innovation. This war is not going to be won with guns and tanks alone, you can be sure of that. Our ability to adapt and experiment is going to be the deciding factor as we move into these dark times.”

“Thank you for your time, I hope you’ll rethink your decision. Are there any questions?”

Erwin stood before the room of balding men in identical suits, each giving him nearly identical stares. Some talked to their neighbours, some hastily wrote something down. They had the mannerisms of exhausted students, their lack of meaningful engagement itching under his skin.

At least the majority of them had paid adequate attention when he was explaining his new proposal. When it came to money they always did. His proposal had been humble, it had been sufficient, it had been calculated so the impact on army funds would be minimal. Pyxis hadn’t spoken, but he’d had tiny dots of light in his eyes the entire time. Erwin considered that a positive. Whether Pyxis believed it or not, he was an influential figure at the table, having served for many years longer than the other members.

Nile had sat in the back, watching the whole ordeal with a contemplative expression. 

Erwin was curious to hear what he had thought, as Nile often had viewpoints directly opposing his own. It was refreshing to hear the man’s perspective on matters such as these. 

In their younger years they’d spend hours debating politics and flaws in systems both of them had questions about. They’d been young and stupid for the most part, but Erwin looked back on those conversations with fondness. Nile was a man who consistently valued safety and consistency, and that simple conviction was steadily becoming harder to defend.

He hadn’t paid too much attention to Rod Reiss, it almost never paid off to focus on one person, especially if you knew they were not likely to respond well to what you were saying. Still, now that he was done, he couldn’t help but sneak a glance, a glimpse that’d help him further gauge the effect his words had had. As expected, there was none.

He packed up his papers, a few leftovers from the bundles he’d distributed as a detailed summary of his over an hour long presentation. Not everyone that should have been there had been. It was unfortunate, but nothing he hadn’t taken into account.

Plus he’d brought two extra copies, just in case. 

“Thank you, Mister Smith. I think I’m speaking for all of us when I say I find your proposal very well thought out. We’ll be sure to think over your words, won’t we boys?”An official Erwin tried and failed to remember the name of told him. 

The others nodded and murmured their joint agreement, their faces however folded into promising expressions. 

“We’ll get back to you on that. If we decide to proceed, we’ll hold a vote- Thursday?”

“Uh, sir, the only time all your schedules are compatible would be in two weeks time, Friday, sir”,Someone’s assistant said while comparing various planners, all containing a different schedule. Somewhere in the pile, Erwin knew a copy of his own was laying, just as he knew he technically had more free time than most others.

“Friday thirteenth”,Someone remarked before letting out a greasy sounding laugh. 

A few others chuckled, and Erwin pressed a measured smile on his features. It went well with his expressions, or so he’d been told.

“That sounds perfectly reasonable, thank you”,He said as he retreated back to his chair. 

The general consensus seemed to be positive, he felt safe enough to let the meeting progress without further intervention or reminder. If he came off overly pushy it might derail further support. That was, of course, as far from home he could get in this scenario. 

“Gutsy move, I’ll give you that”,Nile told him quietly, not fully turning around to meet his eyes. “But you don’t agree”,Erwin stated flatly, though not surprised.

“Nope. And your fancy words won’t change my mind”,Nile answered in that same quiet tone. His brown hair was growing long, Erwin noted, falling into limp curls from the top of his head.

“That’s fine by me”,Erwin said truthfully. Of all the people in the room, Nile was perhaps one whose voice carried the least weight. He could do without unanimous support.

“Listen, Marie’s out with her sister tonight. Think you have time for a night out?”Nile asked, still not looking at him. The man before the room kept droning on about the same topics, but it tended to leave a bad impression when you were caught making small talk. Impressions, optics, reputations, in the end it always seemed to boil down to this. An exhausting state of being, though one that opened many doors if one understood how to manipulate it properly.

“I should have time”,He answered. 

Nile nodded, fiddling with his pen. 

“Leave at six?”,He asked,for once turning his brown eyes to Erwin. 

“Make that seven. I need to discuss something with the head scientist”,He said, feeling Reiss’ eyes burning into his forehead. “Suit yourself”,Nile muttered as he turned back around. 

They stayed in their seats the rest of the meeting, Nile’s dry commentary sparse but welcome either way. Everyone was quick to leave once it was over, Erwin and Nile sharing a brief “See you at seven” before parting ways. Most men made a beeline for the exit, the only exceptions so far being Nile, who went for the lobby, and-

Of course. How could he forget. 

“Erwin, could we have a chat?”Reiss asked, all gleaming buttons and toothed smiles. 

“Of course.  Mind if I meet you in my office in half an hour?”

A muscle near Reiss’ eye twitched. “I was hoping to talk right away”,He said. Erwin regarded his anger with a cool stare,”Yes. And I have other matters to deal with. Now excuse me-”,He said, walking around the shorter man on his way to the lab. Internally, he found the flustered expression very amusing. Externally, he made sure nothing was able to be gathered from his face. 

It would make the man feel insecure. 

It would make him angry.

It would make him feel small. 

They left the ugly little house with the red roof, a full camera roll and a handful of trinkets richer. Mostly on a whim, Levi decided to make a lap around the property before heading home. They’d spend some time on the tire tracks and garage, which had given them a whole lot of nothing. 

Mike’d passed by the stables, but besides a decent set of fingerprints it had been emptied. 

That’s what Mike reported anyway.

Levi wanted to see it for himself. He didn’t think there was any real reason for it, and if there was, he didn’t know it. He just knew a missing kid and an empty stable made for a bad combination. It’s like when a building blows up and the next day the store across the street is abandoned. 

It could be coincidence, but it rarely was. 

He walked around the puddles and mud in order to keep his shoes clean. From here he had a straight view inside the forest. It looked huge. Like a dozen gaping mouths coming to swallow up the little house and the tiny defenseless people around it. The shadows were getting long, the spaces between the trees getting so dark it looked painted black. 

“Have the cops been here?”He asked Petra, who had quietly followed him. She tended to do that. Why, he had no clue. It’s not like it could’ve been for the good company. 

“I don’t think so. The case was labelled cold not even a day after it was opened”,She said, her tone slightly higher than usual. He’d startled her- somehow. 

“Their dogs would’ve been useful”,He said, nodding to the treeline. 

“We can always send Mike for a walk. I’m sure he won’t mind”,She answered brightly.

“Oh- Geez, there’s poop here”,She said while raising a boot. Levi paused, turning around with a feeling of horror creeping up on him. Petra hopped around on one foot, then stumbled to the closest patch of grass, one sole awkwardly held up. 

“Yep. That’s poop”,She sighed while wiping her shoe. Poop- Poop of what?

“Does it-”,Fuck, this was gross,”-Does it smell?”

Petra paused, then shook her head,”Now that you mention it, no.”

“So not a dog, or a fox”,He said with a shiver. 

“Not a carnivore at least. Maybe whatever they held in the stable got out. Going by the fences, I’d say they kept either sheep or pigs”,Petra checked the sole of her shoe, deeming it clean enough for further use. Gross. His stomach cramped at the mention of pigs. Sheep you knew what you were getting into, but pigs? Word was they ate anything they got their ugly eyes on. 

“Petra”,He said while glancing at the ground. “Bones can be digested, right?”

The stable itself was empty, the dusty straw pushed into a corner. There were some moldy wheats and pellets in the feeding bin, a bucket of greenish water in a corner. 

It was nasty, sure, but only because it’d been left behind. There were no piles of shit, no loose fur, everything was tidied and glaringly empty. Chances were it’d already been emptied before they’d made their hasty escape.

Levi peered into the bin, trying to judge if the splatters could have been blood or regular moist from the feed. 

It was a filthy thought and would be a horrible end to the case. But it wasn’t as unlikely as he liked, not as unheard of as it should be. The bin was spotless. 

“Don’t think we’ll be finding anything here”,He said with a sneer. He wondered where the shit pile was, then decided they could always come back for it if necessary. He wasn’t going to spend his afternoon with his hands covered in waste on a hunch. 

“Bummer”,She said with a grimace,”Do you really think someone would be capable of that?” Levi stopped on his way out, his hands back in his pocket. His finger brushed along Ymir’s ring, the coldness seeming to shoot up through his arm straight into his throat.

“What, killing a kid and feeding her corpse to the pigs?”,He asked, just barely looking over at Petra,”Yeah. Every fucked up thing you can imagine has gone down somewhere.”

“That’s kind of a grim thought”,Petra answered with a shiver. Levi just shrugged before walking out the stable. It was the way it was. The best they could do was try to get the victims some justice, an endless fight if there ever’d been one. You had to be seriously desperate to devote yourself to a cause like that. 

Desperate, or out of your mind.

His eyes fell on the gate as he passed it, bumping against the fence in a breeze he hardly felt. It had been open when they’d gotten there. Levi stepped out and pulled it shut, fiddling with the lock. It was simple, a metal bar that was able to be slid in and out a hole in the pole next to it. He took the handle and tested.

The bar struggled forward, until the handle reached its limit. It hadn’t gone in. He pulled it back. The end of the bar, the key part of the lock, had been broken. 

It felt important, somehow. The same way Ymir’s drawing felt important, the same way the stains on her clothes were.

He stored the observation inside his head and went back to Mike and Oruo, who leaned  against the hood of Petra’s car, a trail of smoke rising from the stick between Oruo’s fingers.

“Anything interestin’?”Mike asked when he saw Levi coming. “Nada”,Levi answered flatly, turning on his heels to finish the row of car-leaning-investigators. 

Oruo opened his mouth to answer when another voice sounded. The three of them turned their heads in the direction of the ruckus, which turned out to be a middle aged woman, standing at the edge of the road with a bicycle attached to her hand. The strands of her hair which were visible seemed to be a dull blonde, however Levi wasn’t sure if that was because of age, dirt, or just unfortunate colouring. 

Farlan had a similar shade, but he was not going to stand here and pretend this lady looked half as good as he did. The bike seemed to be in a good enough state. The sort of thing that’d get stolen if you left it besides a bus stop.

“Hey!”,She waved, half walking, half jogging their way with the bicycle. “Hey! What are you stiff-panted hognoses doing here!”She yelled. Levi looked at Mike, who looked at Oruo, who looked at Levi. “Hognoses?”Oruo asked, a comical line around his mouth.

“You city cretins! Get your asses off that farm!”She stopped to take a breath, then went on with her rampage. Her boots were bright red and flopped around her ankles. 

“Ma’am, please calm down. There’s an ongoing investigation on site”,Mike said, walking up with his hands out. Like some sort of peacekeeper, like he was telling her ‘just take a breathe ma’am, you’re right, we’re the disgusting city thugs and you have every right to worry’.

Levi scowled, leaning a little lower against the car.

Oruo dropped his cigarette, crushing it under his foot. It stank. 

“Like hell there is!”She spat back. “I know those people very well and they’d never put a finger out of line!” 

“And you’re so sure of that because…?”Oruo asked with a grimace. 

She turned her wrinkly face to him, her eyes seeming to blaze. “I’m their cousin”,She glowered. “Their? Both of them?”Levi remarked. The lady looked like she was going to slap him. Going by the angle of Mike’s eyebrows, he carried a similar sentiment.

“Just Angela, you shortass”,The woman said. Brave words from someone with shit coloured hair. 

“Alright, easy now. Let’s all take a deep breath”,Mike said before Levi could return the favor. 

“I can assure you we have legitimate grounds to be here. However, if you feel like we’re making a mistake of sorts we’ll be happy to listen. Maybe you can help us set some things straight”,Mike said, his voice calm and heavy. 

People liked hearing Mike speak. He didn’t do it often, but when he did they listened. The opposite of how Levi’s words tended to land.

“You’re damn right I can”,The lady said, still throwing Levi a nasty glare. He quietly returned it, putting as much loathing in his eyes as he could. Petra quietly walked up next to them, watching the exchange go down. 

“Thank you-”

“But I need to go home first. I’ve got meat in my basket”,She said, talking straight over Mike. 

“Alright ma’am. Lead the way, we’ll follow you”,Petra spoke up. The woman regarded her suspiciously, gave a grumpy nod, and turned around with her bike in tow. 

“Mike, Oruo, you guys stay here, okay? I want to have the treeline checked before we leave”,Petra said. Levi quirked an eyebrow. She was bringing him along? Shit, why would she think that was the right call?

Petra either didn’t notice or chose to ignore him, and he was left to wonder about her sanity on his own.

“If you say so”,Oruo sighed while kicking a pebble. It pathetically skipped over the muddy driveway before it settled in a slightly higher sticking part. 

Oruo and Mike got a flashlight each in case it got dark quickly. Levi would’ve liked leaving with them with something more substantial. Like a bat. Or a nice big knife.

It was a decently long way from the nearest house, and the forest gave him the creeps. Oruo left his camera in the car, saying that the film was up anyway. It sat on the backseat a very expensive block of metal, only rivalled in uselessness by Petra’s typewriter in the trunk. 

Why she’d even bothered to drag that along was a mystery. 

“We’ll try to make it quick. Give us about an hour or so”,Petra told Oruo and Mike while Levi stepped into the (front) passenger seat. He marvelled quietly at the leg space. Petra slammed her door closed, zipped her seatbelt, then looked at him. Her eyebrows raised.

“What?”He asked, crossing his arms under her glare.

“Your seatbelt isn’t fastened”,Petra answered, like it was obvious. Levi blinked,“So?”

“You have to wear it. It’s for safety”,She told him sternly. 

“Fucking nobody wears those”,He retorted. 

“I do! And everyone in my car does as well”,Petra went on. As if to underline her words, she took her hand off the car key, folding them into her lap. Levi stared at her. This was the statement she was going to make? Right now? 

“We’ll be late”,He said. 

“Fine by me”,Petra answered with an annoying smile on her face. Mike and Oruo had turned back around, pointing and talking. Levi wanted more than anything to wipe those shitty smiles off their faces.

“You’re a real piece of work”,He muttered as he gave in. “Ditto”,Petra answered as the car roared into life. Winning a petty argument was not worth letting a shitty-faced cyclist escape.

Not entirely.

“I’ll be with’ya in a second!”Hange yelled from the radiation-proof room. Their voice was barely audible, muffled by thick walls and lead-lined windows. Erwin resigned himself to waiting outside the door. Every second he spent here cut into the time he’d sat aside for Reiss, and he watched them pass with a slight fondness. In hindsight he might come to curse his decision. That was a risk, but it was one he was willing to take. 

He’d have to do a general sweep of his history again soon anyway. The risk of Reiss resorting to personal attacks was, sadly, quite a real one. Erwin’s slate was as clean as one could be, upon first glance, but spite was a powerful motivator. 

Reiss might have felt compelled to dig in the space between the cracks, and, well, Erwin figured every man had a couple of secrets he’d rather do without.

Or woman for that matter.

Or- whatever it was Hange said they were. 

“Okay I’m done! What was it you needed me for?”Hange asked as they emerged from the other room, holding a tub containing one of the Hallucingenia. It had “ALBERT” written on the front, the subject inside peacefully bobbing along as Hange all but skipped over. Erwin allowed himself to wonder what the curious creature had gone through under Hange’s hands. Perhaps it had just been observed, as one would watch an elephant lumber around in a zoo. Only this elephant had likely been subjected to various kinds of stressors. Scalpels, pincers. Heat and cold most likely, and dozens of other tests Erwin didn’t know the name of. Some perhaps too twisted to be thought of by rational minds.

“Please, take a seat”,He said, letting no humor or levity enter his voice. Hange paused, their fingers tightening slightly around the container. Distracted as they tended to be, when things got serious, Hange knew.

“What is it?”They asked, realizing Albert’s container was bending under the strain. 

“It’s nothing that’ll be bound to have consequences for you”,He started cautiously. 

“Just spit it out Smith”,Hange said, their voice sharp.

Something he had been hoping to avoid. He didn’t look away, nor did he soften his words when he spoke. There was no sparing Hange, at least noy anymore.

“During the meeting back then, the decision was made to reduce our funding. If effective, it could have disastrous consequences for us. I didn’t want to distract you from your work, which is the reason I’m only telling you this now. I owe you an apology for that. 

“However, I was able to successfully appeal to the board, and they have agreed to rethink their decision. If everything goes the way I planned, there won’t be any consequences on you or your activities”,He told them. 

To him it sounded perfectly reasonable. A little crude perhaps, but even if he’d told them from the start it would have come as a shock. He’d have them hanging on the thread of uncertainty, and it was precisely that he needed to avoid at all costs. 

They’d hear from the budget cuts and the votes and the endless circles these things tending to get stuck in soon enough. Things like that never stayed where they were supposed to. And preoccupied as Hange was, even they would notice the increased activity around the facility. It was best they heard it from him.

“But you- I thought it went well!”Hange said, the betrayal in their voice evident. He cringed at that, then forced himself to relax, 

“It did. There is a good chance we pull through with minimal hindrances”,He assured them. Albert rolled slowly onto its back, the whisker-like legs serenely waving back and forth. Such an odd little creature. He wondered idly how much it had cost to secure it.

“You said I’d be the first to know if anything happened”,Hange said in an accusatory tone. “And you are. I didn’t want to distract you prematurely”,He told them earnestly. They still looked upset, their lips pulled into a harsh line. 

“But what if you fail?”They asked. 

Their eyes widened again, their lips parting. Exactly the sort of reaction Erwin had been hoping to avoid. It would’ve been impossible to put a coherent proposal together with Hange derailed.

”Oh my God, you can’t. I’m this-”They pinched their fingers together, staring up at him with a frantic expression,”-close to finding out something amazing, I know I am! My babies are just starting to reveal their secrets to me, I-  I can’t just stop now!” 

Their voice was speeding up, the words starting to share more breaths than would be comfortable. Hange paused to suck in a new lungful.

Erwin tried making use of the opportunity.

“I’m not asking you-”

Not fast enough, it proved, or Hange just didn’t care to hear him. 

“Really Erwin, you need to make them change their mind. Do whatever it takes, I don’t care, but I just need time! That’s all! I need more time to investigate and explore all the possibilities my babies carry within their beautiful precious bodies!”

Their hand suddenly left its dent in the container to grip his arm. He startled and pulled his arm back, but it was locked under Hange’s grasp. Their eyes were incredibly wide, the white encasing the entire iris. Their voice raised higher, not quite desperate, but close enough to make him uncomfortable. 

“Erwin! You have got to make them change their minds or I will literally die!” 

Their fingers were a death grip on his sleeve, burrowing into the flesh of his arm. Erwin gave up on prying it free, instead staring straight into Hange’s eyes as they leaned forward. “I-”

“These beautiful creatures will change the world, Erwin! I just need more time!”

“Mister Reiss, I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting”,Erwin said while smoothing out his hair. He found it already soft and straight under his fingers. For some reason he had expected it to have been blown out of shape. 

“What the hell- What in the hell was that!”,Reiss shouted not even a second after he stepped in. Erwin hummed quietly, closing the door behind him. He’d rather not encourage eavesdropping from the offices nearby. 

“I think I made myself very clear”,Erwin answered coolly. He had neither time nor patience to deal with this now. 

Reiss seemed to inflate a little, his cheeks starting to grow round and red. The sun was going down, making the shadows dancing over the man's face look impossibly dark. His fists were clenched at his sides, though Erwin highly doubted he’d be brave enough to actually make whatever violent fantasy he was currently having reality. Men like Reiss, they enjoyed raising their voices and leveraging their strength, but behind that there was little more than a small, insecure man throwing a tantrum.

“You could say that. I warned you Smith. Remember that”,Reiss said, his jaw clicking. Oh dear. Everyone seemed so intent on shouting at Erwin today. Had he missed a memo? 

“Mister Reiss, I think this whole thing has been a grave misunderstanding. I’m sure we could come to an agreement”,Erwin tried. Reiss snorted,”Sure, after you’ve sucked this whole operation dry”,He spoke the words like they were funny, somehow. Interesting, yet not entirely unexpected. He made a mental note of the remark, keeping his gaze level and firmly trained on Rod’s face, as if he could will him to leave with intent alone. This had been interesting, but he was growing tired of listening to adult tantrums.

Reiss also didn’t leave. A pity.

“That has never been my intention, mister Reiss. You can advise the summary I gave you for further detail on how I plan to minimize costs for the other branches-”

“I don’t give a damn about any of that!”Reiss suddenly shouted, slamming his short stubby hand against the wall. It didn’t even make a particularly loud thud. He withdrew it with an entirely unearned hiss, shaking his hand as if he had hurt it.

“Then what exactly is the problem? And please, do try to explain without damaging the wall, it’s rather important for the integrity of the building”Erwin pressed, expression flat. 

“Your damn-”Reiss stopped himself, seeming to chew his own tongue before looking back at Erwin with daggers in his small eyes,”I’d hoped you were smart enough to know when to stop, Smith.”

Erwin forced a smile on his face, something that could reasonably be excused as an uptick of the upper lip,”For as far as I was aware I haven’t done anything that could warrant such a response yet, mister Reiss. To be frank I’m disappointed you seem to harbor such resentment”,He said, not completely dishonest. 

“And more than that, I’m curious why an official such as yourself seems to concern himself with trivial matters such as these. While I appreciate my department being seen in this high regard, it shouldn’t affect a man such as yourself to the extent you’ve demonstrated. What exactly is your interest in this affair?”

Reiss’ face barely shifted, though the lines around his eyes seemed to harden just a fraction.

“That’s none of your concern. You just worry about yourself, Smith. You’ll need it”,Reiss all but spat before he brusquely pulled Erwin's poor door open. Erwin was quick to push it closed again, letting his hand linger against the wood. Even one-armed and looking down to Rod’s level, he was strong enough to keep him from opening the door. 

“I’m sorry we couldn’t come to an agreement”,Erwin said, staring the man down. 

“Yeah. So am I”,Reiss answered. Erwin let him go, straightened his hair, then walked over to the phone resting on the corner of his desk.

He turned the dial to a string of numbers he hadn’t put together in weeks, slowly to ensure he didn’t mix them up.

Somewhere several states away, a landline started ringing.

“What’s this? Where’re those detectives I saw back at Angela’s?”The woman said as she regarded Petra and Levi with a sneer. 

“Still there I’m afraid! You’ll have to make do with us if that’s alright”,Petra said with a smile, holding a paper notepad and pencil. 

“Why? What’s so important? They busy? They couldn’t be bothered to send a real detective, is that it?”The woman asked, eyeing the both of them with a face that suddenly became a lot more punchable. 

Levi’s skin seemed to tighten around his hands. If it were up to those two this whole thing would’ve been bankrupt years ago.

“Don’t worry, we’re just as good as those other guys”,Petra said with an unwavering smile. Better. Or well- She was. 

“Are you going to keep being a trash person or are you going to start being useful? Choose fast, we haven’t got time for you to waste",Levi asked with an accompanying death glare. Petra’s elbow was quick to dig into his side, harder than he had expected. He scowled at it. 

 The woman gasped,“Exuse m-”

“I’m so sorry about that, he’s- not always the best with people. But I assure you he’ll be quiet and polite from now on, right Levi?”Petra asked, her eyes seeming to stare straight into the back of Levi’s skull. For a moment he wanted to bite back, but then thought of Isabel and Farlan. Could they afford him to lose his temper?

Fine. He could play nice for now. If she kept her mouth shut. 

“We won’t bother you for long”,She added, turning back to the eyesore in red boots. 

“Better not”,The old hag sniffed with the sound of unclogged sewerpipes. She shuffled away from the door, leaving it wide open.

“I’ve got meat out”,She shouted over her shoulder, like that excused leaving two people standing at the door. He wasn’t big on manners either, but even he knew better. Levi raised an eyebrow at Petra, who made a ‘just stick it out’ face and went inside. Levi kicked an imaginary pebble away, hands in his pockets as he stood on the empty porch. 

For some reason doing nothing wasn’t much better than doing something. Fuck.

He sighed and went in after Petra. The house smelled of dust and something else- flowery and nauseating. It made his nose want to retreat further into his face. And that was only the first offence. As far as interior design went, Levi wasn’t a fan. 

There was simultaneously too much and too little filling the space. It made his skin crawl. A house wasn’t supposed to look like this, at least not to him.

He followed the sound of Petra’s voice into the kitchen, where the woman was mutilating a slab of oozing red meat with a hammer. “-How close to your cousin are you, exactly?”He heard Petra ask. They both had their backs turned to him. That was fine to him, friendly conversation was not his strong suit. He leaned against the wall, his hands in his pockets and his legs crossed at the ankle. 

He could sit this one out like this if he just stayed quiet. Would be better for everyone involved.

“How close is anyone to their cousin? We were two hands on a belly when we was kids, but then she married that good for nothin’ Tom. You know how it is- Catholic, the bastard. Lost a whole chicken and managed to blame me for it. I wasn’t even ‘round when he lost it. Asshole. We didn’t talk much after that”,The woman said, sniffed loudly and went on slamming her hammer, like the steak owed her money or something. A waste of perfectly edible food if you asked him.

“When did you last meet up?”

“What’s it to you?”The woman asked,”Thought you wanted to know if they were up to no good.”

“We absolutely are ma’am. We like to gather as much information as we can so we can reconstruct the most accurate story!”Petra said, bright and chipper. Even if Levi couldn’t see it, he knew she was smiling. That freaky grin, the one most storeworkers and doctors had plastered all over their faces, though Petra admittedly wore it better than he’d seen any of them do. 

The woman mumbled something inaudible, then answered Petra’s earlier question, Tuesday last week. “Did you also see the girl living with them at the time?”

“A girl? Thought they had a little boy staying over”,The woman scoffed. 

“A boy?”

“Yeah, Henry what’s his name. Ah forget it, he’s gone already. You’re saying they had a girl this time?”

“Uh, yeah. Do the children change that often?”Petra asked. Levi his eyebrows sink, already pretty sure he knew what the answer would be. 

“Once every few weeks they do. Shame about the last kid went away. I liked him”,The woman said, almost sounding genuinely mournful, but it was hard to tell with the sour voice she had. 

“So you’ve never met this girl?”Petra pressed. 

“Dozens of ‘em. But not recently”,The woman stopped hammering the steak, flipped it over, and hummed contently. The callous way she talked about the children threatened to make him sick. That, and the red she was splattering all over her counters.

“Do you know where they send the kids to school?”,Petra followed the steak with her eyes, unflinching as the blunt end of the hammer slammed back down in it. Of course she didn’t bat an eye. Petra’s selective tolerance for the job continued to elude him.

“Why do the kids keep switching?”Levi asked. The woman startled and swung around, swinging her hammer. Not that she was close enough to do any harm. 

“Jesus Christ! Don’t you sneak up on me like that, you possumfaced fuzz!”

Levi tracked the arch of the hammer with his eyes. It was surprisingly fluid. 

“We’re resorting to petty insults now? Thought people grew out of that in kindergarten”,He cocked his head slightly,”Unless you never made it out, f’ course. Where do the kids keep vanishing off to?”

Petra gave him dagger eyes, waving her hand over her neck. He perked up an eyebrow, just slight enough for her to notice. 

“Hell if I know! Back to their delinquent parents I assume. Jesus”,The woman rubbed her chest, gave him a leer, and turned back to her meat. Levi heard the ending words of her sentence,”this country come to?”

Good to know his feelings regarding her were mutual. 

“They send them off to school in town. The bus fare’s cheaper than driving them around”,The woman said, very obviously directing her words towards Petra. 

Petra, who leaned in and almost annoyingly politely asked:“Do you know the name of the school?” 

How Petra did it, he didn’t know, but somehow they left with the names of the school, teacher and bus driver that had driven the kids back and forth. “He goes to my church”,She said when Levi gave her an odd look. Petra left with a plastic bag of bones,”For broth”,The woman said, patting Petra’s slender hand. 

“Your skinny ass can use it.”

Petra, seeming a little taken aback, thanked her and was quick to step out the door. Levi was about to follow after her when he remembered something,”Hey. Your cousin. Did they keep livestock?”

The woman, already halfway back to the kitchen, yelled her answer over her shoulder,”Yeah, pigs. Got some good meat over the years.”

Levi nodded, then pulled the door closed behind him. 

Merde. 

They were fucked.

Bars. Interesting places, aren’t they? There always seemed to be something happening, always felt as though there was something like anticipation hanging in the air.

Erwin didn’t make a habit of visiting them. Most nights he came home from work too late, others he just didn’t feel like going. 

When he went it was with Nile, and Nile enjoyed bringing friends of his own. Which, while it wasn’t preferable, was not inherently a bad thing.

They were often amusing to watch, and while Erwin couldn’t remember most of the faces he saw, he found most of them to be at least decent company. They were loud, though not obnoxiously so, reminding him oddly of a time where he had been slightly younger and the world slightly simpler.

Him, Nile and Nile’s friends were lined up around a table, their laughter loud and their bottles emptying. Or rather, their laughter, and their drinks. 

“And then Marie said: ‘Well I don’t know, why don’t you see for yourself’”,Nile hiccuped, his cheeks and parts of his neck red and patchy. Despite appearances, he was actually mostly sober. The men bouldered with laughter, their voices loud. Erwin pretended to laugh as well. 

He’d never been too fond of his own laugh, it always ended up sounding either unnatural or forced, but he couldn’t very well sit there in silence, could he? The thought occurred to him he was overthinking this objectively silly notion. 

Although, wasn’t that all he did anyway? 

He reached out for a peanut. 

“So Erwin-”,One of them started, a friend of Nile who he’d run into at a handful of gatherings,”You’re awfully quiet today. Thinking of someone?”

Nile snorted, but stayed quiet, taking another sip of his beer. Kind of him. “Not at the moment”,Erwin answered truthfully, grabbing one of the little salted nuts.

One of the men sighed while sadly shaking his head,”Doesn’t bode well for the rest of us. If a pretty-boy like him can’t even get a girl…”

The comment was quick, it was thoughtless, and somehow, it rippled through Erwin with a wave of something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Something that curled away, that rolled back and made the back of his throat itch. 

“I’m sure there are loads of women that would be interested in you”,He retorted smoothly.

The other man huffed a laugh,”Yeah, when the grass grows purple.” Erwin tilted his head slightly, taking in the guy's appearance. A lean frame, wiry muscles. A sharp jawline that led into pointy ears on one end and a sharp chin on the other. High narrow eyes, and dark hair that had been combed back, but was starting to fall forward over his features. Modest cheekbones, a soft curved nose. Not the most handsome man out there, but certainly not ugly either. 

He couldn't quite believe a man like that would have trouble finding anyone interested. 

“You seem quite certain of that”,He said quietly, a strange pain straining his chest. 

“So do you, mister ‘The stick’s so far up my ass I might as well be a scarecrow’. Really, what’s your deal man? You’re supposed to attract the fairer sex, not scare them off.” 

The man laughed at his own joke, raised his bottle of beer to his lips and tilted it back. Erwin directed his eyes downwards, his elbows on the table. It made a shield of sorts, marking of a corner for him and him alone. 

“Can’t argue with that”,He finally answered with a smile. 

“Erwin’s got no time for romance. He has bigger things to worry about, don’t you?”Nile asked while slapping his hand against the flat of Erwin's shoulder blade. 

“Hey hey, no work talk. We have enough of that already”,A blonde to Nile’s left said, shoving his hand against Nile’s face to shut him up. “No work stuff”,He added, much too drunk to be taken serious.

“Alright, alright, jeez. Don’t take it out on me”,Nile said as he pushed the hand away.

Mercifully, the conversation moved away from Erwin, congregating to the other side of the table. 

He caught bits and pieces, but what was actually being said, he wouldn’t know. His skin itched. He felt as if he couldn’t stay seated any longer, couldn’t excuse staying still. 

“Excuse me”,He said after a few minutes, shoving his chair back. His stomach seemed to be twisting into knots, as if he had eaten something rotten. Now that the thought crossed his mind he could taste it as well, sour and dry on his tongue. Someone asked him something, yet the words went in one ear and out the other. His answer, though, must’ve managed to be somewhat convincing.

He walked to the bathroom. It was empty. 

That was good, that was very good indeed.

There was a line of sinks on the wall. He opened the nearest one, holding his hand under the cold water. It ran over his fingers, cooling them down. 

Making it quite clear it was real and he was there, and not wandering someplace else. His right hand itched. He wanted to hold it under water. To feel the fingers cool and grow wet and stop itching. To convince his body it was real, and to convince himself he was real, too. Because it- Well. He tried and failed to put his thoughts into words, his breath slightly too shallow.

Erwin looked at his hand. A thin metal hook stared back. 

And it itched.

He ran his cold fingers over his face, from the point in his hairline his hair split, to his thick eyebrows, the bottom of his eyes and the edges of his nose. It felt unreal, as if he were touching a mask instead of skin. He watched the motion in the mirror, the only words in his head a simple “that’s not me”. The sharp nose, the high cheekbones, the pale blue eyes and blond hair. He might have ended up on a poster, once, if history had played out differently. 

The brown sheat that led into a metal hook, on his left side in the mirror.

It was not him. 

The whole thing unsettled him. If he was not his body, if he was not his history, nor his flaws, then what was he? 

It snuck up on, as it always did, the circle of questions that remained unanswered and unsatisfied, as if they were old, open wounds that bleed every time he was reminded of their existence. And reminded of them he was. There was a reason his house had no mirrors. 

I am Erwin Smith. I am twenty-seven years old. I live in Shiganshina. I am- 

A loud barking laugh interrupted his train of thought, and he quickly looked up to see who or what was there, who had caught him off guard. 

There was nothing, just the sounds from the inside of the bar bleeding into his quiet. His breath was startlingly shiverish. 

He hated it. He drenched his hand back in the water, repeating the affirmations with that bit more care, that much firmer than he had done before. Slowly, the water dragged him back to earth, and his breath calmed. 

I am not a deviant. I am a proper citizen. I am-

He glanced at his watch -I am Erwin Smith- then washed his hand with soap -I am twenty-seven years old- tore off a paper towel -and that is not me- and went out through the emergency exit. 

The nightly air was cool and fresh, biting where he’d traced water over his face. There was a phone booth on the side of the road, red and with a broken light. He went in. The phone rang. And rang. And for the first time today, someone picked up. The conversation was short and concise, only consisting of what needed to be said. Erwin didn’t find it hard to stay focused, not when so much hinged on it. 

“Okay. Repeat it to me”,He said, waiting for the person on the other end to follow his command. He let out a breath of relief for what felt like the first time in days. 

“Good. Danke, mama. Tag.”

He hung the phone back on the hook, and went back inside before they could well and truly miss him. 

“Everything alright?”Nile asked. 

“Just fine”,Erwin answered with a full-toothed smile. “Just fine.”

The drive home was colored purple and orange. Levi had returned to the backseat, Oruo to the front, Mike to his left. They’d all gone quiet. A mercy if there’d ever been one. The scenery seemed to stretch on endlessly, all fields and trees. Anything could be hiding in there, Levi thought as they drove past an empty field. It nagged at him, the open space, the endless nothing. At least in a city you could see what was happening around you. 

It was too open here. 

Too little place to hide, too much space for something to linger in. 

He tore his eyes away, staring at the back of the seat before him instead. 

The sun was fully gone by the time they made it to the suburbs. Oruo was yawning by the time they finally rolled into the inner city, Mike’s eyelids already closed. Petra parked outside their office, the car quietly clicking into a stop.

“Thanks Pet”,Oruo said he suppressed a yawn, folding his map. He left it on the chair, as Levi had seen him do dozens of times before walking away. 

Mike jolted awake, then hastily mumbled out a goodbye before he left. Levi could vaguely hear him curse something involving bus times. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow”,He told Petra as he left the car himself. 

“Are you sure about walking home alone? I could drop you off on my way”,Petra leaned backwards so she could look him in the eye, her eyes tired and the back of hair starting to tangle.

“I’ll be fine. Good night”,Levi said before shutting the door. He waited until she was out of sight, then turned back to the office. It was dead quiet inside. The thick walls had a habit of shutting everything out, good and bad. Levi locked the door behind him and walked up the metal stairs, his footsteps echoing through the empty building. 

His toothbrush was waiting for him in his drawer, in a separate container from his cleaning supplies. He brushed his teeth in the bathroom, took off his shoes and jacket, and fell asleep on his office chair. 

It must’ve been between five and six when the phone started ringing. Levi shot awake, treating himself to a jolt of pain in the stiff of his neck. 

He massaged the spot with his thumb, blinking the sleep from his eyes as he stared at the single wall mounted phone hanging on the wall near Oruo’s sparingly used desk. Who would call at this fuck-early time? The sun wasn’t much more than a thought yet. His movements slowed, and he shot the phone a frown.

More than that, who would know there’d be someone here?

He debated letting it ring, but eventually his own curiosity won. He scraped his throat as he picked up, though his voice was still heavy with sleep,”The fuck do you want?”

“Oh my God it’s you, you need to come home. It’s- Argh I can’t say over the phone. Just come home! 

“OH-Oh I think he’s bleeding”Isabel's voice, loud and frantic, blasted in his ear. 

It took him a second to recognise it, then another to process the words. His hands grew cold. “Hey, calm down. I’ll be on my way. Don’t panic. You hear me? Isabel?”,He answered after a moment's hesitation. 

His chest tightened as different possible disasters shot through his head, each one worse than the last. “Is anyone badly hurt?”He thought to ask. 

“Just- Come home”,Isabel repeated before a click ended their call. “No don’t- Isabel? Damn it”,He slung the horn back on the hook, the tiny office suddenly too cluttered for the speed he was trying to move at. He shot into his shoes, left his jacket on the back of his chair and hurried out the door. 

He didn’t bother taking a detour today- The sun would rise soon, the lights were dead, the streets nearly empty at this time of night. This was the time people got to their homes, or sat in their hideouts cataloguing the events of the night. He’d be fine, he figured. 

Isabel had clearly been vague, but he didn’t think anyone was actively listening in. Not right now anyway, she’d have found a way to let him know if that was the case. It was cold out without his jacket, his thinning gray shirt not helping much. It didn’t bother him much. 

It was uncomfortable, sure, but it woke him up.

He turned into his street -the stray was still there- and knocked on the door. One lock rattled open, then he saw Isabel’s eye through a gap. It was wide and pinkish, though not red anymore. She’d been crying earlier. 

That was a relief, if a small one. She vanished quickly, and the rest of the locking mechanisms opened up. He didn’t waste time in getting in, pushing the door shut and barricading the locks. 

“What’s going on?”He asked, his voice creeping into a hiss. Isabel shuddered, then took a visible deep breath. She beckoned him to follow, starting to explain as they walked. 

“We were just standing guard when these other guys showed up and started making trouble. I’m not even sure what they came for but one of them pulled a gun and we- We were supposed to stand guard”,Isabel stopped for their shared bedroom, the tiny old door with three shitty mattresses behind it. 

Isabel's voice sped up, and she forced herself into silence. Her narrow shoulders shuddered as she drew in a breath. He let her steady herself, quietly grateful she was doing alright.

“Farlan got hurt”,She said after a moment. Levi’s jaw tightened. 

“And he’s in there, right?”He asked, nodding at the door. If he got himself home, his injuries couldn’t be too bad.

Isabel nodded. He ruffled her hair, fingers sliding through the messy strands. He was feeling a lot more at ease now that he knew what to expect. 

“Farlan? Still alive in there?”He asked as he opened the door. “The hell does it look like?”Farlan groaned back. Good, meant he was still lucid enough to be snappy. The man had been unceremoniously dumped on the closest mattress, a part of his arm and shoulder in tightly pulled bandages. Isabel’s doing, probably. Levi sank to his hunches, then beckoned Farlan closer. 

“Like an idiot who got himself shot”,Levi answered as he unwound the bandages. “Ah, yup, that’s about right”,Farlan said through his teeth. He winced when they got to the bottom layer, the one just covering the wound. His blond hair was tussled, his face covered in a layer of sweat. 

“You’re not usually this careless”,Levi commented. “Isabel, can you get me water and something to clean this with?”He asked her. Isabel, who’d been watching in the doorway, nodded once before hurrying away. 

“I don’t like getting shot, if that’s what you’re implying”,Farlan replied as Isabel's footsteps moved away. His eyes were slightly hazy, but Levi wasn’t too worried. Sitting up and talking he was taking it all pretty well.

“So what’s been going on? It’s not like you to be sloppy”Levi asked once she was out of earshot. Farlan looked away before answering,”Nothing. I just fucked up”,He said. Levi pulled the last bit of bandage away, revealing a coin-sized hole in his shoulder. 

“That looks like more than a fuck up to me”,Levi commented dryly. He checked for an exit wound, ignored Farlan’s hiss of pain, and found only smooth skin on the other side. 

“Got the bullet out?”

Farlan shook his head,”I can’t do it one handed and Isabel’s too afraid. Can you- Be gentle please! Not all of us are carved from marble”,Farlan doubled forward mid-sentence when Levi harshly prodded the wound. 

“If you were you wouldn’t be shot up like this”,Levi answered flatly. It had been a while since he dug a bullet out of anyone, let alone someone he actually knew. They used to have medics for that, back when he was involved, but sometimes you were stuck in a building or wandering some alley and it was just you and the guy you got dragged along with, and well fuck, that bullet’s not going to wait around for a doctor. Most of the time it was best to let it sit. 

Most of the time, the person prying lead out of their shoulder didn’t care much about what was best.

Isabel returned with a bowl and a fresh towel, her features pale and her lip trembling. Levi thanked her, then sent her for a pair of tweezers, a needle, and thread. 

“Boil them”,He said, and she was quick enough to nod and not ask questions. 

“Now spill. You’re not an idiot, you don’t throw yourself before a gun without thinking. What happened?”Levi pushed, dabbing the wound with the lukewarm water. “I said-”

“I know what you said. I also know that’s not you”,He stopped to raise his eyebrows, making sure Farlan had seen it. Farlan rolled his eyes in response, though it was more tired than annoyed. 

That was fine. Levi could be patient.

“Who were you covering? Isabel?”

Farlan stiffened, then went slack. He winced when the motion pulled on the wound, like an idiot. At least the motion got him talking.

“No, it wasn’t her.”

“So who was it?”

“I wasn’t actually covering, you know. I really did fuck up. They came out of nowhere and started waving around their guns and then they started saying shit and I… You know me”,Farlan attempted a smile, which immediately vanished when Levi pressed his hot towel against his shoulder. 

“Yeah, that’s my problem.”

“They started saying shit about you”,Farlan finally said. Levi’s eyebrows fell just a fraction.

“Ah”,He answered flatly. 

“Isabel was getting worked up, and I’m not going to sit here and say I was all level-headed, so you know. It all went downhill pretty quick”,Farlan’s voice was barely more than a whisper as he spoke, his eyes trained on the wall,”Still, got one good punch in”,He said with a small grin.

“So what did they have to say about me?”Levi asked. The thought of Farlan jumping in front of a gun because of something having to do with him was startling to say the least. He’d hoped all that shit ended when he stepped out. 

“That you deserved it. That you were a pain in the ass an’ it’s good you- Fuck man. I know it wasn’t really real and all, but it fucking- touched something. They ain’t supposed to talk about that. It ain’t- You know.  Next thing I know I have a hole in my chest and Isabel’s pulling me up and ordering me to walk”,Farlan rested his chin on his palm, still not looking Levi in the face. 

That was fine, he didn’t want to see Farlan's face right now anyway. 

“At least they still think I’m dead”,He just said.

“Guess there’s that”,Farlan answered equally dryly. 

Isabel returned not long after, and this time Levi didn’t send her away again. Instead he showed her how to take the bullet out, careful not to cause any more damage. 

“See that? That’s a vein. Don’t touch it or we’ll be dragging him to a hospital”,He was quick, clean, and didn't take longer than necessary to pull the cursed bit of metal out Farlan’s shoulder. He didn’t neglect to walk Isabel through his movements.

 Isabel watched with an intense expression on her young face, her large eyes dark. It was important she knew how to do things like these. Who knew how long it would take for them to be able to leave it all behind?  

He’d been free to do so precisely because he had them to fall back on. They still needed to be alive by the time it was his turn.

“Stitches are easy, you just need to keep them clean”,Levi said, gently pulling the string through the eye of the needle. 

“They don’t look easy”,Isabel commented while leaning forward.

“So? Doesn’t make them hard. You just-”,He took his needle, and quickly drove it through the soft skin on Farlan's shoulder. It wove in and out, steady and without hesitation. 

Farlan was a statue under his hands, the muscles in his arm and shoulder tense. His free hand was gripping Levi’s soaking towel, his knuckles white. It’d only make it hurt more, but Levi didn’t say anything. 

They both knew it. 

“Are you okay?”Isabel asked. “Yep just marvy”,Farlan said, just a little too quick to be believable. Isabel’s frown only deepened. 

“He’ll live”,Levi answered her flatly. There was no getting around it, getting your skin stitched back together with a scalding hot needle hurt. Better to get it over with than draw it out being careful. 

He tied off the knot, and by the time he was done Farlan’s eyes had glossed over. The man looked like he was on the verge of collapse. Which Levi supposed was fair. He reapplied fresh bandages, more to keep out dirt than to stop any bleeding, before forcing Farlan to quit fighting his exhaustion and go to sleep.

He and Isabel waited until his eyes had closed and didn’t flutter back open, then left him to catch up on sleep. Levi vaguely wondered how a real proper doctor would’ve treated him. Probably knocked him out with painkillers or something.

He and Isabel washed the needle, bowl and pan by the sink, him scrubbing, her drying them. Her skin was still a waxy sort of pale. Still scared. 

“Have you eaten yet?”

No, Isabel answered unsurprisingly. The sun rose, shining a weak morning light into their kitchen. Levi checked the fridge, found eggs and butter, and from there on breakfast was a done deal. 

He slid an egg onto a plate, shoving it towards Isabel. She stared at it.

“What? Is there a problem?”He asked, glancing at the yellow and white circle. 

“No. It’s nothing”,She answered. She looked back up at him, and when she did her eyes were full of tears. 

“Fuck”,She said when she saw his expression, and quickly wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Levi wasn’t quite sure what to do. He put his pan down, feeling more useless than before. 

He could handle injuries. Hell, he could handle his own shit just fine.

Just not-

Fuck. 

“Hey, enough of that. He’ll be fine. It’s going to be fine”,He said, coming to stand next to her. Their shoulders, nearly the same height, rested against one another. A shudder went through her wiry frame, and she rubbed her eyes with more roughness than was probably good for her.

“I know that. But when I heard the shot and I saw him go down I-”,She looked at him, then back at her hands. 

“You thought he was dead”,Levi stated. Her shoulder shocked against his. 

“Damn it- I wasn’t going to cry”,She said, her voice strangled and her hands pressed over her mouth. Her small face was pulled so tight.

“Cry if you like. You ain’t going to have time for it later”,Levi reminded her. His own hands were crossed over his chest. For a moment he wondered if he should do something useful with them. Like hold her shoulder or something. 

She shuddered again, like she was holding back a gag, or a sob.

Probably a sob.

Shit. He hated this. 

Seeing her like this. Being too useless to fix it.

“No, I’m okay. I’m okay”,She said, taking her fork and pushing off a bit of egg white. “Okay. If you say so.”

“You did well tonight. It was a difficult situation, but you both made it home safe. That’s what matters”,He added after a moment of silence. Isabel hiccuped, dropped her fork on the plate. She put it on the counter, turning to him with large, helpless eyes. She leaned her head on his shoulder, her tears forming a wet spot in the fabric over his skin. He let her. 

“I was so damn scared, big brother”,She whispered into his shoulder. “I don’t ever want to feel that useless again.”

Levi drew in a sharp breath, then finally did something right and draped an arm over her shoulder. “You will. Get used to it. But you did good.”

“There’s a good girl”,The doctor said. Maria looked up, searching for eyes behind the glasses balanced on his nose. She couldn’t find them.

“I didn’t do anything”,She said. Her head was spinning, like it did most times nowadays. Everytime she woke up it was pounding, like there were a million tiny drummers playing xylophone with her skull. Pounding, spinning… It was hard to keep the feelings apart. 

It was hard to make sense of anything lately. She felt like she was sleepy, all the time. 

It seem to matter how much she slept, she was still tired when she woke up. 

“You did plenty”,The doctor told her, flicking his finger against her forehead. It stung a little, then the feeling faded. She played with the hem of her dress, her fingers slowly twisting the fabric back and forth. 

“Is she ready?”The other man asked. 

“No, not yet. I’d give it about a week, maybe two if we’re unlucky”,The doctor answered. 

Unlucky? What did they need luck for? As far as Maria knew, luck didn’t exist inside these walls. Luck was the stuff little kids believed in, in the same category as the tooth fairy and Santa Claus and happy parents. They didn’t have a place behind those metal doors and barred windows. 

“I want her ready now!”The other man yelled.

Maria startled, and there the doctor was, laying a comforting hand on her head. 

“You need to understand, you can’t rush this! We need to take our time, think of the consequences!”

Maria missed what the man said next. She was too busy kicking her feet, following the 

particles that seemed to fall off of her legs as she moved them. They hadn’t done that very often before. 

“Give me your arm”,The doctor said. Maria blinked at him. He repeated the request. This time, she understood. She could vaguely see a needle sink into her arm, but it was like it happened to a different little girl, in a different blue dress, on a different doctor's table. 

It didn’t feel like it was real.

Nothing really felt like anything at all.

Chapter Text

The morning arrived with a cloudy sky and a cup of bitter hot coffee. Erwin counted the lines on his clock while he drank, the coffee sharp in his mouth. His chair, one of two in his kitchen, was cold and metal, the sort that took ages to warm up and cooled within minutes. 

His table was wooden, the corners chipped and rounded. Cheap, and slightly ugly.

His priority when furnishing had been practicality above all, and thus his house was filled with tables and chairs that were not technically supposed to fit, but had been forced by his hand to coexist anyway. He didn’t mind, and he didn’t host visitors often, if at all. 

That he had two chairs at all was a precaution, not a necessity. 

He could count his visitors on one hand, and the number that had made it past the front door was even slimmer. Erwin didn’t fancy himself a recluse, but he found he simply didn’t have time for such niceties. No time, and no need for them either. Some might have found him slightly pathetic in that regard. That was fine. 

The walls were bare, still the same beige patterned wallpaper the previous owner had picked. It was a place for him to eat, sleep, and wait for work, and in that regard it was more than sufficient. 

The only part of his house that had gotten more than half a day of thought was the study, located on the second floor next to his bedroom. It hadn’t gotten a new coat of paint or anything like that, he hadn’t been willing to put that much effort in it. 

But it had gotten a bookshelf, a desk with bronze knobs on the drawers, and a safe mounted into the wall behind the bookshelf. It was perhaps the only room Erwin actually, truly liked. He had even put a comfortable chair in it, if you can believe it.

Only last night he had moved his books aside and unlocked it, retrieving Reiss’ folder from the heap. It rested in his briefcase, safe behind the double locks, ready for further dissection. 

He finished his coffee, rinsed the mug in the sink, then sat back down as he waited for the familiar sound of Hange’s tires. 

It didn’t take long for them to arrive, just as it didn’t take long for Erwin to realize Hange was not going acknowledge what had been said the day before.

Hange held the wheel with perhaps a little too much force, but their voice was calm (for them, anyway), and their demeanor at ease. The road had accumulated a layer of frost, forcing Hange into driving slower than they usually preferred. It was a nice change of pace. 

Their usual morning chatter was muted, though Erwin supposed that was to be expected. 

They made it inside the building with only a handful of words shared, going their separate ways with only a nod and a briefly muttered “bye”. It was slightly underwhelming, but he supposed it could’ve been a lot worse. He’d find a way to set things right later down the line.

He made three stops before heading inside his office. Three stops, and sixty dollars lighter. He unlocked his briefcase, the blue folder peeking out underneath the stack of papers. 

In it were reports, official documents, photographs. 

All information he had acquired when he had first started his position. On its own they weren’t much use- The documents had been so heavily edited and polished they were as unreliable as they came.

Someone had poured hours, if not days into telling a coherent story. 

He was slow to flip through it, piecing the timeline together in his head. For the most part, it was spotless.

But there were gaps. It were those gaps he was most interested in.

Missing time, uncredited funds, a strange lack of activity between the years 1919 and 1924. Gaps.

Reiss had been young of course, but his name had been mentioned in multiple previous papers. Witnesses of his involvement in his fathers business went as far back as the summer of 1916, when the man had been a teenager. 

The file painted a straightforward picture. A young man had inherited his family’s business, expanded it to an empire. Once he had the money and connections required, he entered the government workforce, quickly establishing himself as a powerful figure. Public involvement was kept to a minimum, his name remaining a vague, faraway concept to the general public. 

He married at the tail end of the 1920’s, managed to emerge from the depression with his family and wealth largely intact, and had multiple children, all born during or after the war, with the most recent being a set of twins born in 1955. 

They had had their family photographed every time there had been a birth or a death, the black and white smiles becoming sharper as the household expanded. The grain seemed to reduce, the lips seemed to thin and the eyes seemed to grow increasingly dark. The tiny printed hands, increasingly clear with defined fingers, seemed to grow more and more distant.

It could simply be the progress in technology, but he had the creeping suspicion there was more to it. Progress alone did not change expression, did not suck the joy out of happy family pictures.

Something happened, or had been happening. Erwin decided to look into it, though he wouldn’t have it hold too much value. It was a subjective matter, he’d need fact.

This could very well turn out to be something completely private, and if he were to dredge that up unprovoked it could make him look petty, unprofessional, immature. 

It would leave him vulnerable to outer criticism, and that could very well signal the end of any favorable opinion the board held towards him. 

To stay in everyone’s good book was crucial. He ran a hand across his face, hiding in his palm.

There was a knock on his door.

He looked up, making sure he was presentable.

“Come in”,He said, closing the file and putting it aside. It stood out amongst the beige and red, but there had been stranger things wandering his desk. 

The door revealed Moblit, still in his labcoat with a pair of safety goggles perched on top of his head. Scheduled for Hange’s labs today, then.

The man seemed nervous, nothing out of the ordinary there, his hands twisting together. He had a talent for appearing nervous, though when it came down to it there was not a lot that could happen that would make him lose his head. It was a living contradiction, but a most reliable employee. 

“Yes?”Erwin asked. 

“Uhm, good morning, sir. I think there’s something you should know”,Moblit said. He didn’t ask if he was busy. Whatever it was, Moblit thought it was of utmost urgency. Erwin nodded for him to continue. 

“It’s about mister Reiss, sir. I overheard him in passing. I’m afraid he might be planning something.”

It was in the summer of ‘46 that Erwin found himself on a boat, fishing rod in his hand, scalding sun shining down on his head. The boat was wooden, with two paddles and a bucket of bait lodged between two planks that made up a seat. He stared at the still water, at the unmoving line of string his hook was hopefully still attached to. He could hear the sound of the wind as it blew through the trees along the lakeshore, and hoped from the bottom of his heart it wouldn’t pick up. The trees were rotten, and if one of them fell in the water he could wave any prospect of fish goodbye.  

“Seeing anything?”

Erwin shook his head,”No, there’s nothing here dad. Maybe we’ll have better luck in the bay”,He answered, thinking of their more successful past attempts. They had caught trout there often. His mother loved trout. 

“Probably. But I want to stay here a little longer,”The man answered, turning to Erwin with lights flickering in his sunken eyes. Erwin huffed a chuckle, reigned in his line, then cast it out again. 

“Fine, if you say so. Can I ask why?”The boy asked as he watched the ripples in the water. He spoke without an accent. That was very good of him, he thought as the dobber drifted along the surface.

“Nah. Just a hunch really”,The man answered. His own line hung slack from his rod, their bucket of bait still nearly full. 

The man was his mothers second husband, the one she married as soon as she left her home country. He used to work for the marines, Erwin knew, but now he was just a shopkeeper. He sold books now. Big books, with and without pictures in them. He was always ready to show them to Erwin, if he so pleased. 

Whenever someone mentioned his time away the man's eyes dimmed, and he seemed to retreat somewhere he was hard to reach, like he was stuck somewhere far away. 

But that faraway look always faded, and it never took long to be replaced with a warm smile and a question, one that Erwin always said yes to. 

“Do you want to hear a story?”The man would ask. Erwin would say yes, and the stories he told would be full of laughter and unexplored lands.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Erwin knew that stories having to do with the army weren’t often good ones. He knew it was unlikely for one man to have collected more than a handful, and even more so to have gathered a seemingly endless well of tales to tell. 

Yet he never seemed to run out, his stories never repeated themselves, and he always seemed equally enthusiastic to tell them. His eyes would adopt something interesting, something wild and unhinged as he spoke of white shores far away, of women with flowers braided in their hair and of whistles so big and long they didn’t sound like whistles at all, but more like an avalanche. 

He talked off snowy peaks, higher than the rocky’s and made entirely of stone and ice, and of water so salty you could fall asleep on it without having to be afraid to sink. 

Erwin never got tired of hearing him talk, and the man never got tired of telling. 

It didn’t occur to him until way too much time had passed that those stories likely weren’t all his. How often was it that a ship would take a trip around the globe, just for the sake of it? 

Somehow it didn’t spoil his enjoyment. It just made everything feel bigger. 

“I’m going to see it all for myself some day”,Erwin often said after his father was done talking. Most of the time, that’d lead to a laugh, a pat on the shoulder, and a gentle reminder for Erwin to go to bed. 

“I’m sure you will. The world’s a harsh lady, but damn if she’s got some pretty secrets”,The man had answered once, before sighing and messing up Erwin's carefully combed hair. “You’ll discover her for yourself one day.”

The line on his hand tugged. He held off for a second, it could be a current or a branch of something, but then it tugged again.

It moved in the way a line could only move when there was something alive on the other end, pulling on his hand in short desperate bursts. 

“Dad!”He shouted, quick to reign in the line. 

“What is it? Is it strong?”

“Yeah!”Erwin answered, struggling with the rod as it yanked back and forth in his hands. He felt the rod chafe his hands, his blood pumping inside his fingers. 

“I’m losing it!”Erwin warned, the force of the rod ripping into his skin. He wasn’t going to let it go, not in a million years, but he feared he might fall overboard. Then, he reasoned, as well as most twelve year old boys can reason, the fish would pull him down, down to the bottom of the lake, and still he wouldn’t let go. He’d have to grow gills to breathe, he thought with a frown. Grow gills or drow.

His fathers strong, worn hands curved over his, the rough skin pressing firmly against Erwin’s smooth fingers. 

“Don’t let it go son, don’t let go. Reel her in- slow, slow”,The man's voice was almost hungry as he kept the line stable. Erwin, small and tucked between his shoulders, nodded,”I know, I’m trying!”

In hindsight he thought the man wanted to catch the fish more than he did. In the moment it didn’t occur to him, too busy with his burning hands and the sound of splashing. His cheeks were hot and red, eyes wide with anticipation.

“We got it!”Erwin cheered as a fin breached the surface. 

“We sure did! Can you hold it still? But don’t reel it in, just yet, alright son? It’s too big for the boat”,His father said as he moved back towards the paddle. 

Erwin's heart clenched at the thought, but he put on his brave face and nodded anyway,”Yeah I’ve got it.” 

“Good boy”,His dad said, giving him a pat on the shoulder.

The man paddled them both closer to the shore, the fish’ movements slowing the further it got from the deep darkness Erwin had pulled it out. He couldn’t see it very well, only saw the vague shapes with a fin peeking out every now and then. 

“It’s huge”,He reported, unwilling to keep the awe out of his voice. 

“I know! Isn’t it a beauty!’

His father leapt out the boat as it approached the shore, wading through the shallow water with his pants rolled up as high as they would go. 

“Keep her still, easy, easy”,The man said. Erwin kept the line tight, spotting a white belly and a wide open maw,”Careful”,he said with a frown,”It’s got a mouth.”

“Yeah, I’d hope so”,His dad answered, bending down with his head startlingly near the mouth of the fish. “What is it?”Erwin asked as he emerged, hook in his hand, the other hand wrapped tight around the scaly body. 

“Son, let me tell you. I have no clue”,The man said. Wondrous lights sparked in his eyes, and he tightened his grip around the fish’s muscled body. “Come’ere, give me a hand”,He said, struggling to keep the fish from wiggling its powerful body. He cursed loudly when the tail slammed against his ribs. Erwin was quick to drop his line and take off his socks and shoes, splashing out into the lukewarm water. 

“Here, hold the tail. Keep it close!” Erwin did as he said, marvelling quietly at the creature in his hands. It was hugely long, with a stomach like eggshells and beautiful red fins along a dark gray body. 

“What is it? What is it dad?”,He asked, the mysterious fish squirming in the shallow. His father stared at him, sun tanned skin glistening with sweat, then at the fish, still struggling as the muscular body rolled and twisted in his arms. It was enormous.

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen a beast like this before”,The man said, his voice soft with adoration. “What a beautiful creature. Just look at those fins.”

“They’re so round”,Erwin commented. His heart swelled with pride. He caught that. He did that. It was his line that had caught this strange, magnificent creature.

“Hey dad, think we could take it to town? We could get it painted for the museum. Maybe even photographed”,Erwin said in awe.

The fish had gone nearly still, though Erwin could feel all sorts of things moving underneath the scaled skin. 

“Let her go, son”,His father said quietly. 

“Dad?”Erwin asked, not sure if he heard right. His father was quiet for a few seconds, then gently lowered the enormous beast into the water. The tails heavy weight left his arms feeling much too empty, the fish gliding back into the water. It swung its massive tail, nearly knocking his father off his feet. The man laughed, watching their catch swim away until they couldn’t see it. 

“The world’s a scary lady, Erwin, and she gave us one hell of a gift today. Best not to keep it from her.” 

Back then, Erwin had been disappointed. He’d watched the water until it cleared, and when he had gone home he still thought of it. He had tried to draw it, once or twice, but it hadn’t looked right. 

Still though, he hoped it wouldn’t be the only gift the world had in store for him. He hoped to find lots more. And maybe, there’d be one he’d get to keep.

If there’s one thing good about schools, it’s that they’re easy to reach. Levi stepped off the bus and only had to cross a single street before he was standing at the gate. It was a school day, but from what little he knew about schools, it should be over soon. The gate was unlocked, which made sense, but somehow still managed to surprise him. 

He’d thought people would try a little harder to lock the little brats up. 

Especially this close to the road, it struck him as irresponsible. 

He had a somewhat strained relationship with schools. He’d never been forced to be in one, didn’t share the heaps of childish memories everyone else seemed to have. Petra and the others mentioned it from time to time. It was like listening to someone who’d lived on Mars.

A place filled with children however was enough of a deterrent to steer him away when possible. He could all too easily imagine their snotty noses, their sticky hands, a whole building filled with their filth. 

Even as he entered the hallway he made sure not to touch any doorknobs. They probably had been spat on. Or puked over. 

A shiver ran down his spine. 

He walked past the various classrooms, the doors all decorated with stickers and shitty paint jobs. They were also all labeled. 

Shit, he should’ve brought someone along. He wandered aimlessly, tried out the first door without painted flowers and mice on it and ended up in a janitor's closet. Not the worst place to be, all things considered, but not exactly where he needed to be.

He shut the door. 

“Hey, you can’t be here!”A squeaky voice cried. The fuck-

“Yeah? How do you know that?”He asked. When he turned around he was faced with a tiny black haired kid, the kind he expected to still shove dirt into their mouth. He had enough mud caked on his shoes and pants for it, and the edges of his bright yellow sweatshirt looked suspiciously crusted. The soft baby hair was cut in a sharp bowl cut, a pair of large glasses on a small nose.

“Maybe I’m your new teacher. Maybe I’ll make sure to remember the little smartass who yelled at me on my first day”,Levi said while throwing the kid a glare. 

The boy looked taken aback, his bottom lip quivering pathetically. He took a step back, like he was going to bolt if the situation didn’t improve. Wasn’t that pathetic. 

“Ease up. I’m not a teacher”,Levi told him before the kid could start crying. “I just need to find someone.”

“I knew you weren’t a teacher”,The kid mumbled in response, wiping his nose on his sleeve. “Teacher’s aren’t supposed to say bad words.”

Levi vowed to keep a careful distance from the snot-factory. 

“Hooray. You might get on the radio one day. Do you know where a miss Pieck Finger works?”

The kid’s eyes lit up, so happy to be useful it was slightly idiotic, and he nodded seriously. 

“She teaches 3B”,The kid said. Then, with a smirk, he went on,”She’s going to be my teacher next year. She’s the best! My friend Zofia said she’ll let us play the werewolf game!”

“Isn’t that peachy”,Levi commented dryly. “Can you show me where she is?”

The kid took a while to think it over, then nodded. “I could do that. But I can’t stay to talk, I only have five minutes to pee. Or two, now. You’re small. But still bigger than me, so that’s okay.”

Levi felt his face tighten. The kid stood in place, looking up at Levi with round expecting eyes. A few seconds dragged past before Levi caught on that the kid was not going to start moving on his own. “Don’t keep me in suspense. Go on-”

“Udo!”

Levi followed the kid “Udo” as he happily stomped away, the soles of his shoes shedding dirt as he walked. During their walk, Levi got the full load of all the information an overgrown toddler could fit in his head. 

“This is where I eat lunch!” and “This is where we make drawings” and “That teacher didn’t give me my ball back”. He thought of telling the kid to shut up, but that would probably lead to more problems than it would solve. 

Tuning out the high pitched voice felt easier than dealing with a tantrum.

“This is it! 3! B! 3B!”The kid said as he pointed at the label on the door. His mouth made a horrible grating click at the end of every sound, before he turned to Levi with a grin. He had something stuck between his teeth. Disgusting. 

Levi was never taking kids.

“Didn’t you only get five minutes? Think you better hurry on back”,Levi told him. The kid's face fell, entirely oblivious to the time ,”You’re right! Good bye Mister!”

Before Levi could utter a response -not that he was going to- the kid darted past him, his running footsteps clankling loudly against the tile flooring. He looked absolutely ridiculous as he ran, and Levi watched him go nearly the entirety of the hallway before slowing down and disappearing inside one of the classrooms, his shoes making a high screechy sound that felt like an attack on Levi’s eardrums. 

He waited near the door, hearing the sounds that came with a teacher and a room filled with kids leak out the door. That was fine, he could be patient. He waited next to the door, hands in his pockets, one leg kicked up to the wall. It wasn’t long before the bell rang, a painful noise if there ever was one, and the kids spilled out of the classroom. A few of them stopped to eye him, but most didn’t spare a second glance. They were all too eager to run home as soon as their stubby legs could carry them. 

Levi waited for the last pig-tailed head to bob through the door before he slipped in. 

“Pieck Finger?”He asked as he entered, walking halfway across the blackboard. Fucking hell, this classroom was depressing. All the neat desks in strict rows reminded him a lot of the factories he used to walk by, catching glimpses of those eerily strict workstations. More than that, it smelled of paper and something he couldn’t place, but reminded him of sweaty palms and wet wipes. 

Go figure. 

The woman sitting behind the desk turned to him, her hair in a messy ponytail that slung over her shoulder. She had an exhausted expression on her face, with dark bags under her eyes and a washed out skin tone. 

Despite that, Levi guessed she was still young. Her clothes were simultaneously cheap and overly professional, a dead giveaway. 

“Yep, that’s me. What can I help you with?”She asked. Her eyes briefly took him in, then diverted down. Her slender fingers started piling together papers. Levi didn’t need to understand what they said to know it was homework of some sort. He knew what handwriting was supposed to look like. 

“I’m investigating the disappearance of a girl called Ymir. A neighbour said she was your student”,He told her, his voice flat as always.

It had an effect. Her face darkened, her hands tightened.

“I see”,The woman responded, closing her eyes for a few seconds. “I thought the case had been closed.”

“Yeah well, it’s open again”,Levi replied wryly. Shouldn’t have been closed in the first place. It’d lost them time, time Ymir probably didn’t have left to waste.

“What can you tell me about her?”

Pieck blew her cheeks round, releasing air in rhythmic huffs. She straightened her papers, then put them aside on the desk. 

“I’m not sure I could tell you much news, mister- ?”

“Levi. Just say what you know. I don’t care if it’s old or you think it don’t matter”,Levi narrowed his eyes slightly. 

The woman stayed remarkably calm, and nodded,”Alright. Let’s see, uhm. Ymir joined my class in late November. She had…issues, as the principal called it. She didn’t have many, if any friends. 

“You try to help where you can, but you know how kids are, you can’t force them to get along. She was mostly mute, you see. I think she could talk, but for some reason she chose not to. Not me with, or any of the other kids. I kept her inside during recess after a while, because the other kids thought she was too strange to play with. Personally I think she was scared of something, though I have no idea what. As long as her grades were decent there wasn’t much I could do.”

Her eyes glistened slightly. Levi didn’t ask her about it. 

“So she was smart?”He asked. 

“I suppose so. Does it matter?” 

Maybe, maybe not. It shouldn’t. 

Levi tilted his head aside, a few strands of hair falling over his face. “What about the parents?”

At this, Pieck sighed, a reaction he had more or less been expecting. Every new piece of info he learned about the people seemed to add to an increasingly foul picture. 

“I’m afraid I never even got a chance to meet them. Ymir came to school by herself, and they didn’t show up for the parent-teacher meeting in December. I don’t think we’d have gotten along”,She said, finishing with her lips pulled tightly shut. 

Her eyebrows were knitted together. If it was because of sadness, or anger, or some sense of guilt, Levi didn’t quite know. 

Most likely it was all of those things, if he had to guess. He didn’t know much about teachers, but you didn’t willingly shut yourself in a school if you didn’t care for kids at least a little. And when one of them went missing, it was hard not to care. Crisse, he’d have found it suspicious if she didn’t.

“Did she have any other family you know of?”He asked. He wasn’t surprised at the quick headshake, nor at the way she seemed to sink in on herself,”No, I think she was all by herself.”

“Was there anything out of the ordinary the last time you saw her? Anything at all?”

The woman nodded,”There was, actually. They didn’t pack her any lunch. Now on its own I wouldn’t have noticed, I bought her lunch half the time she was here. However, this time she didn’t have any water with her either. I had to lend her my bottle- my bottle”,She stumbled over her words, then got a thoughtful expression on her face. She grabbed her bag, rummaged around its contents, then put it down. “Yes?”Levi asked, eyebrows raised. 

“I asked for it back- Oh yeah, that’s right. I almost forgot, she was picked up that day.”

Levi perked up, trying to recall if anyone ever mentioned this before. He didn’t think anyone had. His heartbeat quickened, “She was?”

“Yes, but I already told the cops all about it.”

“Tell me again.”

“What in the world is that man doing here?”Reiss’ nostrils flared angrily, his mustache bristling. Erwin raised his eyebrows, glancing past Reiss’ finger. 

“Doctor Jaeger is here to perform his annual health review. I’m sure you’ve heard of it before. It’s mandatory, what with all the chemicals and radiation our poor staff might be exposed to”,Erwin told him calmly. 

The doctor in question, a thin but lengthy man with a set of faint wrinkles on his forehead, waited in the corner of Erwin's office with his doctor’s case in his hand. He looked vaguely uncomfortable, but he wouldn’t be dismissed, not yet. Witnesses were a privilege he enjoyed taking advantage of. As long as the man stood quietly in his spot and didn’t interfere too much -a problem when inviting Hange- Reiss hands were bound by the limits of social recognition.

“It wasn’t supposed to be for another two months”,Reiss spat. 

“You seem awfully well-informed of our internal planning, mister Reiss”,Erwin retorted quickly. Their eyes locked, the full force of Rod Reiss’ fury focused against Erwin’s ice. Reiss looked away first. It felt like a small victory, insignifant, but not entirely meaningless.

“I rescheduled”,Erwin spoke calmly. “One of my lab workers warned me there had been gossip of suspected drug use  going around. When dealing with such delicate substances as we do, well, I'm sure you understand why there would be cause for concern. I saw it fit to get to the bottom of this unfortunate rumour before it could spread”,Erwin told him, eying his reaction closely.

There was a glint in Reiss’ beady eyes, one of shock that was quickly stomped out by something much colder. 

“Can’t have that”,Reiss breathed. He rested his hand on Erwin’s desk. He could almost see the cogs turning in his head. Weighing, analyzing. Could it be a coincidence or not? Was this a reply to Reiss’ declaration of war, or was it solely a coincidence? Erwin could guess what went on behind his stiff expression. As far as causing internal unrest had gone, this attempt had been rather weak. The message came across though, loud and clear, like the first gun fired on a battlefield.

“I agree. Was there anything else you needed?”Erwin asked. Reiss made a noise between a retch and a grunt, giving Doctor Jaeger in the corner a stink eye before shaking his head in defeat. 

“Nothing. Enjoy your appointment”,The man said through tightly clenched teeth. 

“Er- Thank you?”Doctor Jaeger replied as Reiss pushed past him. He fixed round glasses that didn’t need straightening, stepped aside when Reiss slammed the door shut. Erwin found himself feeling mildly bad for the man. He’d been kind enough to come as soon as humanly possible, only days after Erwin had requested. His routine visit might have single handedly saved Erwin from being known as an invalid junk, and he’d never even know it.  

Nobody would.

“I’m sorry you had to be witness to that”,Erwin started as he started on paperwork he’d gotten behind on.   

Reiss would move again soon, that was inevitable. They had two weeks exact, fourteen days total before the deciding vote. There simply wasn’t time to waste. Reiss had the benefit of money and connections. Erwin had only himself, his brain, and the fondness of a select few board members. 

Any grand public gestures that would make his proposal come out better were off the table by virtue of expenses, as were private bribes. He simply didn’t have the means to dictate board opinions beyond what he had already done. 

Which only left one viable course of action. 

If it backfired he might lose all credibility tied to his name. 

But if it worked, well. 

It was a gamble he was willing to make.

“You can get started now, if you’d like. They should be aware you’re here by now”,Erwin told Doctor Jaeger. The wiry man nodded, his lengthy brown hair falling over his face. “I see. I’ll be back to examine you shortly”,He said, and then he too was gone. 

Erwin waited for his footsteps to die down, and then took out Reiss' hefty file.

It was already dark when he went to find Hange. They missed their agreed time to go home, something that happened less often than expected. Hange, for all their obsessive behavior, had a habit of stopping their work exactly on time. 

Erwin suspected they continued their work at home, though he’d yet to find any concrete evidence of that. The hallways were all but empty, many of the labs and offices dark behind their hall-facing windows. A few were occupied, he walked past a meeting room where the administrative staff were participating in a heated argument, but most people had gone home earlier.

He knocked his knuckles against the door of Hange’s lab before pushing it open. The sound of two voices greeted him, their backs still aimed at him. He paused and hung around the back, letting the conversation play out uninterrupted.

“Yes, yes, I see. But how does it convert the light into energy? I don’t see any of the usual indicators of photosynthesis. And how does this-”

Erwin was surprised to recognise Doctor Jaeger's hurried voice, the man’s usual dark attire hidden under one of Hange’s spare lab coats. Hange spoke up, but Erwin was not even going to humor to attempt deciphering their words. Their tone was odd, though, it was a lot more level than he was used to.

“But that’s- That’s-”,The Doctor stumbled over his words, his pointed features staring at Hange. “-Impossible”,He finished, quietly mouthing the word. The word hung between them like a landmine, like neither party really wanted to acknowledge it had been said. He had the feeling there was something he was missing, as if he were the only one watching a film without the corresponding audio.

Hange turned visibly uncomfortable, their eyes locked on the Doctor, who was still staring at them with a piercing stare. 

Erwin decided it was time to interrupt the meeting and provide Hange a chance for escape. He swung the door open again, this time knocking louder. 

“Hange?”He asked, his voice barreling over the budding conversation. Hange started, then turned to him, relief flooding their features. Doctor Jaeger composed himself as well, quickly straightening up and tearing his eyes away from the two. 

“It’s late. You ought to wrap up, and go home soon”,He continued, harsher than he would usually be, then turned back to the doctor,”Doctor Jaeger, I had no idea you were still working. Has everything gone smoothly?”

The doctor nodded, then started pulling off the lab coat. “Everyone has undergone a thorough examination. I’ll mail a copy of the finished reports as soon as I can, though I doubt there’ll be any dire cause for concern. Everyone still appeared to be in similar conditions as they were last year, including yourself, of course”,The doctor told him. 

Hange was quickly cleaning up their papers, a mess of diagrams and calculations that had been spread out across the counter.

“Of course. Thank you again for being able to come on such short notice, Doctor. You’ve been a tremendous aid.” His voice felt cold, the words carrying an involuntary edge with them. He realized he didn’t like Doctor Jaeger, though it was hard to point out why.  

Perhaps it was in the way the man eyed Hange like they were a cloth to unravel, or the way he was able to strike that eerie balance between friendly and distant, perhaps even better than Erwin managed himself.

“Have a safe drive home”,He told him, receiving a smile and a reciprocal greeting in return. They both watched as the doctor walked around Erwin out the door, down the hall until his footsteps died down. Hange watched the man leave, then sighed loudly and swung their head back, rolling on the balls of their feet. 

“Fucking- finally”,They groaned. 

“Was he a bother?”Erwin asked innocently,”I assumed you’d like having someone educated to show your research to.” 

Hange let out another groan, dramatically running their hands over their face,”I did at first, and then he started nitpicking and talking about his studies back in the day and his theories and his stupid hypothesis’, really, the man has no imagination whatsoever. It’s unbelievable how dull one person can be”,Hange told him, shaking their head as if disappointed. 

“In that case, let us hope he’ll stick to being a doctor”,Erwin agreed. 

"Amen to that. I’m afraid to even think what the consequences would be for science. We’d be making a run back to the dark ages”,Hange complained, pulling their bag over their shoulder. Erwin let out a noncommittal hum. 

“Yeah, I can find a place for her”,A voice boomed above her head. The girl winced, pulling her legs close to her chest. Her dress had grown ragged. She’d tried to escape, but she had failed and now her dress was ripped. She pulled it tight around her knees, her bare feet cold.

“How much do you think we could ask?”

She couldn’t see who the voice belonged to. It was dark, so dark she couldn’t even see her hands as she held them before her eyes. She couldn’t breathe very well either. It felt like there was a snake curled around her chest. She could feel the scales against her skin, tightening, choking her.

Soon she wouldn’t be able to breathe at all. And then what? 

Then, she thought as she wrapped her arms closer around her legs, then she would simply find another way to get more air. She would learn to breathe through her eyes, or her fingers, or the fold of skin in her belly button. Insects could breathe through their skin. She liked those. It was better to be like an insect, she thought. They could fly away from anywhere, and escape anything. They didn't have to be afraid of men, and they didn't have to worry about their dresses slowly ripping.

“Think between two, maybe three hundred. Can’t go too high with a scrawny thing like her.”

They were talking about her, she knew that. That was alright. As long as they were talking about her, they wouldn’t kill her. She vaguely understood that they wanted to sell her like a load of bread, and that meant they needed her alive. You can’t sell bread after you eat it, that’d be just stupid. 

She scratched at her arm, at the red mark that itched under her skin. Her bread was bruised, but it was still good. Please let it still be good. 

“I’ll find a sick fuck that’s willing to take her off your hands. Don’t you worry about a thing.” There was laughter, and then the sound of hands hitting clothes. She let out a whimper, but the door remained shut. She didn’t know what a ‘sick fuck’ was, but she’d need to be alive if it wanted her, right?

She sat in the same spot for ages. Her legs grew stiff and started to ache, a spot in her lower back starting to pinch. She could feel her stomach drain, then empty, and chewed on her nails until she didn’t have any left. After that she switched to her hair, and that lasted her longer. Her eyes grew dry, fell closed, opened again either seconds or hours later. Her tongue seemed to dry out until it felt strange in her mouth, like it wasn’t supposed to be there. 

She hummed quietly until she grew bored, and she slept until she woke up.

Her eyes were heavy when a door finally opened.

The light was so bright it hurt her eyes. She couldn’t see anything, not even when she hid her head behind her arms and squinted. The shadow stopped too close, so close she could smell it over her own stink. 

“Get up. Someone wants to see you.”

Chapter Text

There were few places Erwin found himself less often than a park. Not out of malice, or some deep seethed dislike. There was plenty to like about a park, in theory. They were green, and the paths often unpaved, and there was no real reason to visit one other than to admire it. The cool air had a way of clawing under his skin, making the spot where his arm connected to metal ache like it was ancient. 

No, Erwin was not hugely fond of parks. 

It was an artificial attempt at bringing nature inside urban areas, an insult to the trees and creeks he had known in his childhood. What good was a tree if you caged it, or a field if you cut it. He could understand the appeal of order, but some things were better left alone.

His footsteps creaked over the frosty ground, the cooing of pigeons fighting to be heard over the traffic noise blowing over from the road. Clouds filled the sky, pale gray and white. 

At least it wasn’t raining. Erwin buried the tip of his nose in his scarf, breathing in fiber-scented air. His cheeks were warm. He suspected they might have turned pink from the cold. 

For some reason that thought annoyed him. 

The park had a simple lay out. It was an oval. In the middle there was a fountain, with white-painted benches arranged around it in a circle. The east end of the oval had a pond, with quaint bridges and dots of trees that were supposed to evoke the idea they had simply sprouted, not been meticulously planted. It was the sort of spot you’d see in classical paintings, perfectly measured and horrifically disingenuous.  

The other end had a playground, and next to it, a small shop in which they sold tea. He heard it was fine tea, though he wouldn’t know himself. He passed by the empty playground, the playthings all covered with a thin white glaze, and wondered when it happened those became a standard sight in parks like these.

He picked a table for two, the crisp paint sparkling with frost. It wasn’t particularly early, yet he was one of the only people around. That was fine by him, if a bit unexpected. He asked for a cup of black coffee and the newspaper, answering the waitresses' shivering smile with one of his own. 

The coffee warmed him up a little, or at least made him forget the cold biting at the rest of him. 

Erwin didn’t really do days off. He went to work Monday through Saturday, and on Sundays he continued working at home, locked behind the oak-wooden door of his study. There were always so many things to do, and so little time to get them done. 

More than that, he wouldn’t know what he would do to fill an entire day of not-work-related activities. The thought of spending an entire day without a file in his hands or a seat at a desk was more daunting than he was comfortable with.

The sun showed itself at spotty intervals, the bright rays barely doing anything against the cold. The forecast on the back of the paper told him there wouldn’t be any change in that soon. A pity.

He looked up when he noticed someone heading for his table, putting his newspaper to the side. The other man rubbed his hands together as he walked, the tips bright red and looking swollen.

“Mike. Glad you could make it, it’s been too long”,Erwin greeted, folding his paper. 

“Erwin”,Mike nodded, sitting down across from him. “You picked one hell of a day to meet up.” Mike shivered as he made contact with the icy seats, as he were underlining his words. He didn’t bother hiding his discomfort, nor did he feign niceties. They differed in that, Erwin supposed, Mike was much less of a liar. 

He respected it about him, to some extent.

“It’s one of the better days for the region, actually”,Erwin answered dryly. Mike snorted his usual nasal laugh, then blew warm air on his fingers. 

Mike was also much less of a talker.

“I hope the travel wasn’t too bothersome”,Erwin said as he signaled the waitress over. She gave him a look, then pulled her sleeves down and braced herself against the cold. 

“The trains were on time, thank God. You’d have been talking to a bloody popsicle if there had been any delays.”

Mike ordered a cup of coffee as well, not even attempting to keep his words civil as he rubbed his increasingly red fingers together. 

“Seems like I already am”,Erwin replied. 

“The things I do for my friends”,Mike muttered flatly, throwing Erwin a glance that could be interpreted as either teasing or mildly resentful. Erwin chose to go with the former. 

“Ah, but you like helping me out”,Erwin said back, lightly redirecting the conversation back to the matter at hand. Mike gave a dry snort, though he didn’t argue the point. 

“Which reminds me, have you heard anything about our old friend? I was hoping you’d be better informed than I currently am”,He said, following the waitress with his eyes as she delivered Mike’s coffee. 

The man curled his lengthy fingers around the cup with the same gratitude a sailor might carry when he saw land after many months afloat. He took a long sip of his coffee before answering, letting the liquid simmer inside his mouth for a few seconds before swallowing. As if that would have somehow added to the gained warmth it’d supplied him with. 

“Yeah, I asked around a bit. He isn’t doing so well, I hear. Just word of mouth, though”,Mike told him matter of factly, running the back of his hand under his nose. He wasn’t carrying any papers, and didn't bring any luggage to the park with him. That had always been the agreement, but it also brought some complications along with it. 

“That’s a shame. Do you know what happened?”Erwin asked, eyeing a spot of movement in his peripheral vision.

It turned out to be a particularly ugly pigeon, waddling close to the edge of their table.

The park remained mostly empty. A couple took a seat a few tables away, but they were too absorbed by each other to pay attention to them. 

“He’s been hiding, the bastard”,Mike said,”There’s these people, right, and they want something from him. And he doesn’t want to give it. So whenever someone, their family, or a lawyer or something shows up, our pal vanishes. Like that”,Mike attempted to snap his finger, but it proved rather pitiful as his fingers were still too swollen. He gave up with a vaguely disgruntled expression and spoke on.

“And on the off chance they do catch him, he sends his own leeches after them. These people, they’re not rich, and so they don’t stand a chance against him. Still, he’s acting bloody terrified. Doesn’t want to ruin his good name, I reckon. He was in the watchmaking business a few years back, you see. The glowing variety.”

Erwin nodded slowly. He had one of those himself, a gift from his father. He never wore it, and for good reason.

“How unfortunate. His involvement wouldn't have taken place in the 20’s, did it?”He asked, taking in another mouthful of coffee. It was starting to cool, though it still managed to warm him up. Not that that was very difficult to achieve at the moment. 

“Bingo. Lined his own pockets until trouble showed up and the factories closed. Nasty business”,Mike said with a grim expression. “Very nasty. People died, Erwin.”

“I’m aware of the scandal. Was he involved in any of them?”

“There are seven confirmed deaths that can be traced back to him. I’ve had the names and phone numbers of living family members sent to the usual location, in case you want to talk to ‘em yourself. I wouldn’t count on them answering, though, they’ve all developed a phobia for calls from the press and those damn leeches harassing them”,Mike told him, wringing his hands together as if he were trying to rub them clean. He never used to do that before. Erwin wondered where he’d picked that habit up.

“I don’t blame them”,Erwin replied, thinking of the type of families that so often ended up making up the bulk of the workforce. A situation such as this one was well above what they could afford.

“No, me neither. They want justice, but they’re all scared shitless it’s going to backfire on them. Your friend ruined a lot of lives, Erwin.” That last part was almost like an accusation, almost like he was waiting for some sort of explanation. 

Erwin didn’t give him one, instead just humming in agreement. 

“Do you know how he managed to avoid any repercussions at the time?”

Mike shrugged, aiming his eyes towards the sky,”The way all rich bastards who want their slate clean do. Scratched his name off the records, made deals with the right people, and vola, the man’s untraceable. If the workers didn’t know his name there’d be no evidence he was even there”,Mike said. 

Erwin’s eyebrows tightened. As disappointing as it was, it made sense. 

“Is that all?”Erwin asked. 

“Give me a minute, I’m getting to it”,Mike complained, flexing his fingers. Erwin waited for the man to be done, finishing his coffee in the meantime. 

“I managed to dredge up some talk about familial issues. Nothing much sadly, I couldn’t just leave to go spy on his family for a week, though it might not be a bad idea. If you can pay another guy to do it, well. There’s talk of his daughter, the older one. Frieda, I think her name was. Nice girl by the sound of it.”

Mike glanced at Erwin, as if he were waiting for a response. When he didn’t get it, he went on talking in his usual cadence.

“Word is she contacted some of the families. Told them she was wanting to help, get the courts involved, play hero for a bit. Then one day, bam, all lines went dead. Nobody’s heard from her since, and it’s been years since anyone’s seen her in public”,Mike told him matter of factly, his fingers tightening around his cup.

“That doesn’t seem like a usual occurrence”,Erwin noted. 

“She would’ve been an adult by then. It’s possible she just gave up and left the spotlight”,Mike reluctantly added. 

“But you don’t think that happened”,Erwin noted. 

Mike shrugged again, taking another sip of coffee. “Doesn’t matter what I think. The facts are enough to make the whole business stink. Come on Erwin, when have you ever known an idealistic young woman to quietly give up a good cause?”

“Is that a rhetorical question?”

“Might as well be. They’re scary creatures, women”,Mike said, his voice carrying something beyond the weight of this conversation. Erwin waited for a few seconds, but when no reply came, he broke the silence himself,“How’s Nanaba?”

“She’s fine. Out sick at the moment, but she’ll be back soon”,Mike told him. 

“I’m sorry to hear that. It always sounded like the two of you made a good team”,Erwin replied. 

“Yeah, I guess”,Mike said, turning his eyes away.

It could be due to the cold, but Erwin dared to bet he saw the man's ears redden. He prolonged the silence for a few seconds, then straightened his back. 

“That was all, was it?”He asked instead of calling Mike out. What went on between Mike and his partner was none of his concern. 

“That’s it, yeah. The victims’ medical records should be publicly available, should you need them.” No privacy for the dead, it seemed. It was to be expected.

Especially if they were involved in a legal conflict of this scale. Erwin nodded,”I’ll look into it. Thank you again for coming all the way here, Mike, I know it’s not exactly evident”,He said. 

Mike chuckled dryly, then tapped his drained cup,”Get me another one of these and save me from showing up to the next reunion. I might have it in me to grant you forgiveness”,He said.

“I’ll see what I can do”,Erwin promised.

He immediately made good on the first part of his vow, and waved the waitress over. 

They talked a little more, mostly about work and what the both of them had been doing recently. 

Unimportant in the grand scheme of things, but his relationship with Mike was one he liked to maintain. They touched briefly on their school days, a topic so long ago and thoroughly dissected it served only as confirmation those days had been real, and not a memory either of them had made up. 

He found it increasingly hard to connect himself back to the young boy in their stories, and today proved no different. How he had ever been as- not careless, though perhaps less burdened- was a mystery.

They spoke until their cups were empty, and the frost on the table had all but melted. Erwin folded up his newspaper and stuffed it in his pocket to read the rest later. 

“Erwin”,Mike said while he struggled to button his pocket. 

“Yes?” The button seemed double the size of the slit, and he didn’t have any pockets on his other side. Damn it. 

“We’ve taken a new case, an urgent one. Some girl went missing a few weeks back, a really young one. I’m not going to be able to do you any favors before we’ve found her,”Mike told him, his hands safely hidden in his pockets. 

The button slipped through the slit, finally sealing the pocket. “That should be alright. You’ve given me much to think over”,Erwin replied, finally looking up to meet Mike’s eyes. The pale green was hard as usual, but there was a strange fondness in it. An expression Erwin associated with looking at reconstructive paintings of old castles, or a monument that had been all but smashed to bits. He quickly diverted his eyes and settled on a spot of skin on Mike’s forehead instead. 

“Yeah yeah, just don’t get yourself caught in something you can’t get out of.”  

“So you don’t actually know the license plate?”Petra asked, hands on the steering wheel. 

“It’s a shitty white van with a big drawing on the side. I doubt we’ll have trouble finding it”,Levi answered, his tone sharper than intended. It tended to do that from time to time, a leftover from when he actually needed to sound like a jackass. Back then it had been a way to survive, right now it only served to make himself appear like even more of an asshole than he already was. His seat belt rode up, pushing against his jaw. It annoyed him. Nothing out of the ordinary there.

“They might have cleaned the van before disposing of it”,Petra said while chewing her bottom lip, her eyes focused on the road. Levi stared out the window with her, one hand resting against his forehead. The street was mostly empty, surely for reasons he didn’t feel like trying to decipher. 

“They haven’t fucking cleaned it”,He answered in exasperation. 

“They’re not scared of being caught, they don’t care much about leaving evidence.They either crashed it or dropped it off at the junkyard”,Levi told her without turning his head to look at her. He had a headache. 

He’d had a headache since he woke up, and it wasn’t looking like it was going to leave him alone any time soon. He almost missed Mike and Oruo. The former was off to visit a friend in some city up North, the other spending the day developing and sifting through all his photographs. 

They would’ve been good fodder. 

“But that doesn’t make any sense, would it? It’d be way too easy to trace it back to them. I mean, if I was the head of a criminal organisation I’d leave as little traces as possible”,Petra retorted, her pale eyebrows pinched together. 

“Shame they’re not you”,Levi replied, the insides of his head pounding. He leaned it against the headrest, letting his neck go slack. “They’d be so much easier to catch if they were you.”

“Okay, ouch”,Petra said, like her lack of crime boss qualities was anything other than a compliment. She drummed her fingers over the wheel, chewing her bottom lip. 

“I like to believe I’d be able to stay out of the law’s hands for at least a little while”,She went on,”And technically, technically we’re already doing that, aren’t we? I mean, breaking into an abandoned property for evidence isn’t exactly legal.”

“They’d have you caught in a week”,He said.

“They wouldn’t.”

“Red handed while you stuffed a kid in a van.”

“Come on Levi.”

“Gift wrapped with a bow on top. They’d love to have you at the station”,Levi muttered while staring dead ahead. The thought of Petra behind bars in any sort of police station was beyond ridiculous. He tried recalling his own memories of what the inside of a cell looks like, but adding Petra with her soft curls and her bright eyes into that environment was impossible. 

“Who knows, they might recruit you.” 

Petra’s nose crinkled, and she shot him a quick but disgruntled glance,”They better not.”

They were both quiet for a few seconds, as Petra navigated to the outskirts of town. “Have you ever been caught?”She asked suddenly. Levi frowned at her, not sure if he felt it was safe to answer. 

“Why?”

She shrugged, not turning her head to look at him in return. “Just curious I guess. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to,”She said, no hesitation or fake sensitivity in her voice. The words twisted themselves into his ears, merged with the pounding in his head. It only lasted a heartbeat, but the road very briefly stopped being a road.

For a moment he was back behind iron bars, his hands coated in blood, warm, sticky blood. It caked into his clothes, attached itself to his nose, until all he could smell was iron and sweat.

He still smelled it when the road returned, the stank of blood. 

“Once”,He said. His voice sounded off, like it was coming from someone he didn’t know. He scraped his throat, forcing it back to normaL.

“Wouldn’t recommend it.”

“No kidding”,Petra replied, still not looking at him. He unclenched his still-bloodied fists and turned to the small car window, trying to forget the sharp smell of iron and the feel of a wooden board inside his hands. ‘John Doe’, it had said. He might not have been able to read the words for himself, but it was what everyone called him, so it must have said that. He had recognised the D from Dame in a deck of cards. 

Not that that was much help. 

“I bet they’d like having you on the force”,Levi said flatly, putting no emotion in his words. The buildings outside the window rolled by. They looked like something from a movie. Or a dream. 

“You’d be the best damn cop in the city. Best at parking tickets and shit. You’d be real good at it.”

His hands were clean when he looked at them again, not a droplet stuck in the folds of his knuckles or dried behind his nails. Petra didn’t acknowledge his words, and for a while the both of them drove in complete silence. The only noise came from the car, a deep roaring that managed to drown out any lingering thoughts. The seat belt rubbed against his neck, the motor roared in his ears.

“I finished the diary, by the way”,Petra told him as she turned a corner, breaking their bubble of silence.

“And?”

“And they did keep pigs. However, they wouldn’t have had them when Ymir went missing.”

Now Levi did turn to face her, feeling the lines in his face grow deeper,”Why not?”

Petra shifted into a different gear, her eyes briefly flickering over him before landing back on the road,”Because she let them escape.”

Levi felt his stomach drop a little. 

“She didn’t”,He said with a grimace. “Sure did. I can read it out to you if you’d like. It’s the second to last entry.” Petra’s eyes were rounder than usual, though she didn’t show anything beyond that. Levi fought the urge to fight her words, stopped by the knowledge that whatever he said, it wouldn’t change anything. He sank a little deeper into his seat, staring out at the road without truly seeing it.

You stupid, idiotic child Ymir. What happened to you? 

Levi was proven right shortly after entering the junkyard.

Petra was proven right shortly after identifying the vehicle. 

“Hah! I told you they’d clean it”,She said, proudly pointing at the stripped spot on the van door. It rested next to something that once could have been a car, and another van of the same making, just in a slightly shittier state with a brighter colour. The white paint, and whatever had been on it, had been scrubbed away. It showed a shiny gray spot, almost like a scar on the vehicle's side. 

The thin windows lined near the top were blacked out, showing thick streaks of black paint. Impossible to see through. 

Whatever happened behind those black rectangles, it had happened without the eyes of sunlight. How many people had been behind his door? How many were still alive? Ymir was one of them, he was sure of that. 

Was she still alive?

 Levi ran his fingers over the spot, feeling for irregularities. “Clean doesn’t mean unmarked”,He said. “Feel that.” 

He pulled his hand back, rubbing his fingers together like he was trying to get rid of imaginary grime. Putain, he was going to feel gross forever. Petra squinted, then followed his example. 

“Hang on-”,She said with a frown. “What the hell is that?”

“Scratches”,Levi answered. “Yeah, I know that. But why here?”Petra wondered out loud. “I guess it would be the most attention grabbing feature. Which could make it a prime target for vandalism. Or maybe it was harder to scrub the paint away, causing the metal underneath to get damaged in the process!”She smiled ear to ear, clapping her fingers clean as she stood up.  

“Right”,Levi answered flatly. He studied the door, and wondered if there would be anything worth breaking it open behind it. 

“Can you hand me a pen?”Petra asked, holding a piece of paper, the back of the directions to the junkyard, against the exposed metal. Levi nodded, handing her a pencil. 

“That’s not a pen. No, alright, this will work too”,She said, adjusting her grip on the paper,“Can you hold this corner for me?”

Levi did as she asked, only raising an eyebrow. “Okay, now hold still-” He was about to ask what she took him for when she planted his pencil against the paper and started scratching. His pencil, his only damn pencil, seemed to disintegrate before his eyes. Didn’t matter he couldn’t remember the last time he used it, it was his and being brutally destroyed. 

“What the f-”

“Look! Look at it!”She said, nodding towards the page. He frowned, then turned towards the mess of scratchy lines filling the paper. “I don’t see it”,He answered, turning his head slightly. “It’s still there, damn it”,Petra replied, shaking the pencil hand before continuing. The gaps between the lines filled, the pencil continued to grow blunter and blunter. 

“So-”,Petra said, handing his mutilated pencil back,”Recognise this?”

She held up the page, the scratches, which had seemed random at first, suddenly locking into shape. Tiny white lines were scattered across its surface, coming together in a pattern that could realistically look intentional. If he squinted. And took a step back. 

“I see it”,He relented as Petra waved the paper, like that would help. 

“And?”

“Yeah. I think it’s them.”

They searched the rest of the vehicle before leaving. There was some spotting near the door, dark and messy. Impossible to narrow down. He stared at it for what felt like years. Tried to imagine what fluids could have left those. Tried was the wrong word. It just sort of happened, unwanted and unstoppable.

He could almost see Ymir, in the thin dress she’d been wearing in the picture, laying in that exact spot. Her head would be hidden underneath the seat. Her feet would be near the door, but her shoes would be taken off, so they could be sold separately. Her arms would have been tied, right beneath the wrists. 

Maybe they’d be knotted to her dress. Or the handle above her head, making her head bump against the metal door with every turn or bump. She could also have been tied to a chair, or stuck in the passenger's seat. 

But that’d be risky, wouldn’t it? Having her in sight like that. 

More likely she’d been rolling over the floor, her thin arms not able to stop her from moving. He hadn’t seen transports for himself, that wasn’t the scene he’d ever found himself in, but he’d heard the stories. Everyone had.

Not even the Warriors messed with them.

She must have been terrified.

Levi ran a hand over his neck, not surprised to find that the skin had formed goosebumps.

He tore his eyes away and continued searching.

Other than that the thing had been stripped clean, the smell of bleach so thick Levi could taste it on his tongue. 

“I won’t say it”,Petra said once they stepped out. 

“You already did”,Levi reminded her, his tone snappy. 

“They didn’t use to clean them out. They’re being cautious”,He said, something twisting his gut into a knot.

He felt the fresh air run through his nose. It stank of rust and oil, but it wasn’t bleach. At least he vaguely knew the people who left the van behind, knew what they were capable of. He hated to think what sort of person it would take to get them scared. 

“That can’t be good for us”,Petra muttered as they walked back to the car. He almost didn’t hear her. “No”,He confirmed, not looking at her. 

“But you’ll try, yeah?”

“Tch- I said we’d find her. I’m not bailing out now”,He answered, not looking her in the eye. 

“It would be a really shitty thing to do”,Petra agreed. She met his eyes, then shrugged,”You’re the one who wanted to take the case so badly.”

“And Oruo.”

“Fine. You and Oruo. Does that make it sound better?”

“No.”

Erwin was not surprised when Rod Reiss approached him during lunch. Or rather, he was not surprised to be approached by Reiss. Lunch had been unexpected. He swallowed a mouthful of salty tomato soup, then wiped his mouth clean. The hot liquid scorched the inside of his throat, but he managed a smile anyway. 

“Mister Reiss. I didn’t expect to see you here today”,He said. He was standing near the door of the inside courtyard, most of his colleagues sitting at the circle of benches in the middle. He could hear them, but barely. He spotted Moblit, and one of the guards posted near the front door. Other than that he didn’t recognise any of them. 

That was alright. They all knew him; They’d hear if something happened. 

“I heard you were re-opening a study into radioactivity”,Reiss said, standing next to Erwin, with his shoulders tight and pulled back, as if he were trying to make himself look taller. “I thought it was appropriate, don’t you?”He said, looking down on the smaller man for a split second. 

“We’re hosting a small event advocating for the benefits of radioactivity in warfare. It will be small, with a few of our best scientists speaking. I know it is rather sudden, but taking the circumstances into account, there really is no time to waste,”Erwin said, holding his cup of soup in his hand. 

The event had been a pain to set up, last minute to a catastrophic degree. He had managed to delegate sufficiently, and luckily general consensus was that if he managed to do it without wasting too many resources, he was free to do as he pleased. He’d have to cut back on other expenses for the time being. A sacrifice, but an acceptable one. 

“And how are you going to pay for that?”Reiss asked, staring strictly ahead with a meerkat-like expression. 

“We do have some savings left. Think of it as a final wave to the public before being pushed into irrelevancy”,He said. 

“You’re welcome to join us. It’d be quite the statement”,Erwin added, as if he were doing him a friendly favor. 

“Statement my ass”,Reiss huffed, his arms crossed over his chest. Erwin hummed serenely, taking another sip of his soup. It really was salty, the specific kind that only previously powdered soups managed to be. 

“The other board members have been invited, though I’ve yet to receive confirmations from all”,He went on,”Still, I expect all of them to make an appearance. It’d be a shame if we didn’t manage to represent the entirety of the board.”

“Will the press be there?”Reid asked after a beat of silence. 

Erwin nodded, swallowing the hot liquid. It slid down his throat, smoldering against the lining of his stomach. “It wouldn’t be considered public if they weren’t”,He said with a half hearted shrug. 

Reiss drew in a sharp breath, one that made the hairs of his mustache bristle,”And there’s no changing your mind?”The man asked, his voice slick. “It’d be too expensive to call it off now, and half the board has cleared their agenda in order to make an appearance. I’d have to inform them of the reason why it was cancelled as well”,Erwin told him, cautious not to make it sound like there was a chance it could be cancelled.

It didn’t matter if Reiss managed to show or not, the results would both be bad for the man, but if he managed to guess just how shaky the foundations of the event actually were…

“You know, I happened to be in Karaness a little while back”,Reiss started. Erwin stared ahead, keeping his expression still. Karaness was a city located near the east coast, about half a day’s drive away. A town mostly known for the various military institutions nearby. If you were a new recruit, chances were likely you’d visit the city within the next five years.

 It was also where most military administration was stored, though access to them was under strict supervision. Erwin’s chest tightened as he heard the familiar name. 

“Lovely city if you ask me, if a little desolate. Not much to do for an old man like me”,Reiss barked a laugh, and Erwin was forced to answer it with some show of amusement. 

“I ended up spending a lot of time in the library. And talking. There were so many people willing to talk to me, it was unbelievable. They had very interesting things to say”,Reiss told him. 

“I don’t doubt it”,Erwin answered honestly. The presence of so much military activity was bound to loosen some tongues. Rumours seemed to sprout like weeds in the presence of authority.

“They also sold me some interesting things that happened a few years back. It shocked me how often a single name resurfaced”,Reiss paused, his small eyes searching Erwin's face for any sort of reaction. Erwin didn’t give him one, forcing his face to stay perfectly still. For some reason he had the unwelcome urge to laugh.

“You left quite some impression, didn’t you? I wouldn’t have believed half the things I heard if their stories didn’t match.

“I didn’t take you for a gossiping man”,Erwin commented flatly, knowing exactly what kind of rumours Reiss had heard. If the stories had changed since he’d been there he didn’t know, but in any case, the story being told would be less than flattering. He didn’t look Reiss in the eye, not yet. 

He’d feared something like this would happen, although he hadn’t expected Reiss to actually make the drive himself. Even if he’d known, there wouldn’t have been any precautions he could have taken. Pushing an entire town into secrecy was all but impossible. 

“Not like this. You know that as well as I do”,Reiss said,“Still. I wonder what the public would think of you if this got out.”

Erwin took another sip of his soup. It had cooled off a little, but was still warm. 

“If gossip is all you have on me, I’m not overly worried.”

“Assuming gossip is indeed all I have”,Reiss responded. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and gave Erwin a smile that might have been fatherly if his eyes were a little less malicious. “I trust you’ll make the right decisions, Erwin. We wouldn’t want anyone else to know how you really lost that arm of yours, do we?”

Erwin stayed quiet, then made a noncommittal sound in response. Reiss clapped his shoulder, turning around as if to walk away. 

Erwin debated whether or not to open his mouth. When he did, he made sure his voice was stable, his words were clear,”How’s Frieda doing? This cold must be doing numbers on her.” 

Reiss froze as if he’d been hit, his back still turned. Good. Erwin raised the soup to his lips, slowly tilting back the cup. 

“She’s fine”,Reiss all but spat before walking away. 

Erwin watched him disappear back inside, his shoulders pulled together. He’d stay quiet- for now. 

It wasn’t a massive victory. But he had won some time. That was all he could ask for. His skin still itched, but he ignored it long enough to finish his soup and throw the cup away. By then it was almost easy to push down. Moblit came up to him, asked if he was alright with a worried look on that honest face of his. 

“I’m fine”,Erwin assured him. 

Entirely, indisputably fine. 

“Eat.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Eat. I know you’re hungry.”

The girl stared at her food. Spaghetti, with cheese on top. It was in a small white and green bowl with painted bears on the side. She stared at it. It seemed to stare back.

“I’m not hungry”,She said, her voice small. Her words were soft like petals on a porch, and were ignored all the same. 

“It’s been two days since you’ve eaten”,The voice reminded her. She glared at the little speaker. “I’m still not hungry”,She repeated. Her stomach growled, but she didn’t touch her food. She would not touch it. To make the point clear, she pushed the food further away and turned her back to it, arms crossed in defiance.

“Let’s make a deal, shall we?”

The speakers crackled. 

She put her hands on her ears,”I’m not listening!”She said. Her ears wooshed, like there was wind blowing inside. It wasn’t enough to completely block out the broken sound of the speaker.

“You eat your dinner, and you’ll be a good girl for us. And I will take you for a walk in the hallway. Does that sound fair?”

The girl froze. Oh no- 

“How long?”She asked cautiously, though not turning back around. 

“The entire hallway”,The voice promised after a second of silence. 

She gasped quietly, her lips turning into a perfect ‘o’. She did really want to see the outside of her room again. It had been so long… 

She wondered if she could see the sky from inside the hall, and if it was still as blue as she remembered. Her bowl of spaghetti seemed pretty small now. She might be okay if she ate it…

She sighed, her heart heavy. 

“Okay. I’ll eat it”,She said, pulling the tray with the bowl on her lap. She twisted the spaghetti around her fork, looked for the camera, and then carefully turned herself so it couldn’t see her. She scooped the spaghetti out behind the bed, trying her hardest to make it look like she was eating. 

She’d be punished when they found it, she knew that, but it would be worth it if she could see the hallway and maybe even the sky. It would be worth it.

“I’m done”,She said, presenting the empty bowl to the camera. The voice stayed quiet. “Can I see the hallway now? Please?”She asked. The voice kept quiet. 

“I’m done. It’s finished, see?”

She held the bowl above her head, so she was sure the camera could see it. “Hello? I ate it. It’s finished!”

Her heart seemed to sink a little,”You promised you’d take me outside. You promised! I ate it, I swear.”

The speaker stayed silent. 

She didn’t know when the tears started coming. They were hot from the start, and only grew warmer and more plentiful. Soon there was not a spot on her face left untouched, not a tone in her voice that sounded normal.

“You promised. Take me outside! I want to see the outside! Please! Please”,Her voice started to break, her words getting lost in sobs as she yelled at the camera. 

It wasn’t fair, she yelled, it wasn’t fair! She did what he wanted! She did everything he wanted! She just needed to see the outside again, just the hallway, and she’d be good again. She promised she’d be good again. Snot and tears ran over her face, the tiny bowl clutched in her hands. Just once. Just this once.

It was late and she was in her bed by the time the door opened. Her hair was wet and stuck to her cheeks, her closed eyelids stuck together. Her face was red, and even in her sleep she sobbed quietly, with shivering breaths that shook her thin shoulders.

A pair of arms scooped her up. 

She woke up on a table. And there was a tube inside her arm. She opened her mouth to scream, but found she couldn’t. A white fluid crawled through the tube, coming closer and closer. She couldn’t do anything, just had to watch as the figures in white pumped poison in her arm.

The tears came again, helpless and hot as they ran down her face. They burned behind her eyes, but she couldn’t wipe them away. The light above her head was bright and hurt her eyes, and she couldn’t close them. 

“Nnn-”She tried, her throat feeling like it was filled with a lump of slime. 

“Shhh. Quiet. It’ll be over before you know it”,A voice told her. She felt like she couldn’t breathe. She could feel the tube in her arm, felt the liquid as it entered her body. She squirmed in her restraints, moving limbs that felt waterlogged, soaked and heavy.

Oh- Oh- no.

“Up the dosage”,Someone said. Her stomach clenched and unclenched, like she was about to throw up. It hurt, it hurt like everything she hoped she’d never feel again.

She couldn’t see what they were doing to her. She couldn’t see anything but that bright, shining light and the tube, the light and the tube and the white and the light and the-

“Stand up”,The voice said. She blinked. When did she get here? Where even was here? She turned her head towards her arm. It seemed to take ages. Her eyes crawled upwards, like a snail or a bug, trailing over the skin. The tube was gone. Her arm was red. And thick.

“Stand up. I’ll hold your hand”,The voice said. At the same time, a warm pressure wrapped itself around her wrist. A hand, she figured out after a few seconds. She tried remembering where she was. Or what a hand was meant to do.

But it was like she was trying to swim through jello. Her legs felt heavy as they slipped off the table. For a moment she thought she might fall, slow and heavy like a brick until she broke into tiny little pieces on the ground. The moment lasted forever, even as she walked, even as she stubbornly did not fall.

“Whuh”,Her tongue was thick and slimy. She clung onto the hand, the only part of the world that didn’t feel like it was spinning. Like it was dripping honey. She was dripping honey, too. She was melting, into the world. Into the nothing. There would be nothing left of her. Just a hole in the ground, and maybe a bracelet floating to the surface. 

It would be better. 

Quieter. 

What was that buzzing in her ears?

“We’re going back to your bedroom. Come on. Be a good girl”,The voice said, only a little stern. 

Her hand got tugged forward, and she tried her best to follow. Her feet dragged, her hand swinging back and forth at her side. 

They walked for what seemed like forever. 

The walls seemed to move, like they were breathing, the doors growing taller and shorter as they passed them. Bright colours swam through her vision, blue and pink and red and purple. It hurt to watch them.

It didn’t. Everything just hurt. She shuffled, one foot before the other. She was going to fall soon. She was certain of it.

Were those ants covering the floor? Or was she just dreaming? They weren’t ants. They were butterflies. She was walking over their wings as they slowly flapped. 

“Good night. Sweet dreams”,The voice said, not unkindly, as it tucked her back into bed. It was only after the door fell into lock again that she realized she had been in the hallway all along. Slowly and with great difficulty, she remembered to feel sad.

And she had not seen the sky.

Chapter Text

Public transport is a pain. This is a universal fact. No matter where you are, no matter what time it is, travelling with public transport is widely agreed to be horrible. Be it the trains never arriving on time, or the bus being overstuffed and crowded. 

Or being forced to stand in uncomfortable positions for a long amount of time. Not even mentioning the less than cautious driving the chauffeurs often seem to enjoy.

Public transport is a nuisance. 

Erwin waited for the bus to arrive, five minutes after it was supposed to have left the station. He had been standing there for over twenty minutes, growing increasingly colder and less favorable to any sort of human interaction. The wind seemed to cut right through his jacket, as if he were wearing nothing but foil to keep him warm.

He wore a cap on his head, but it didn’t cover his ears enough to keep them warm. The sky was dark and dreary, stars invisible under the harsh orange light. Or hidden behind a layer of clouds, he couldn’t see the difference. A man in ragged clothing stood next to him, nursing a can Erwin thought he’d seen rolling on the ground earlier. 

He checked his watch again, then looked at the board with the bus times that hung at the entrance of the station. Seven minutes late. He sighed, and burrowed his nose deeper into his collar. It was at times like these that he missed having a car. Two bright lights rolled into the station, the bus’ number invisible in the dark. He followed the vehicle with his eyes, watched as the passengers emptied before the bus continued to the right platform. It was about time, he thought as the lights turned and stopped before his feet. 

He bought a ticket off the conductor, shared a laugh over the bus’ lateness “Really, you’d think they were takin’ em for a joyride!”, and took a seat near the window. 

The bus was still mostly empty, the only other passengers the man who’d shared his platform and a woman and her child sitting near the back. It was still early after all. The conductor looked them over, then took a seat near the front. The bus took off with a rattle, the engine puffing like a steam engine. 

Erwin took out a notebook as they drove, pulling the cap of his pen with his teeth. The pages dedicated to Reiss were starting to fill up nicely. His handwriting was wobblier than he’d like, the bus was hardly stable ground, but he still managed to decipher his own writing. 

That was a plus. 

The bus filled up as they went further away, though nobody came to sit next to him. 

Another plus. His day was looking unusually bright and lucky, he thought, but then again, no day that started out like that had ever stayed as good. 

The sky had turned bruise-purple when he stepped off the bus. 

“Have a nice day sir!”The conductor said. 

“Thanks, you too”,Erwin replied, holding up his hand before the bus door shut. The walk into town was a short one, one typed by the swinging of his flashlight and the crackle of frozen grass under his feet. The few cars that drove by didn’t spare him a second glance. To them, he was just one other person, probably on his  way to whatever job required him to be this early. Technically, they wouldn’t be entirely wrong. They wouldn’t be entirely right either. Best if they didn’t pay him much mind at all.

He stopped before a house with a yellow front door, one with early blue flowers hanging from the windows. Erwin briefly wondered what plant bloomed this early, then refocused his attention and knocked on the door. 

It didn’t take long for the door to open. A woman, around mid-sixty if Erwin had to guess, stood before him, still wearing a lopsided starched nurse’s cap on her stiff curls. Her cheeks were marked with smile lines, though her hair was still solid in colour and her eyes shone. 

“Good morning. I’m Erwin Smith, we’ve been exchanging letters for a few days now”,Erwin said with a smile, holding out his hand. The woman looked at it for a moment, then shook it with her left, her lips pulling into a smile. 

“Of course. Come in dear, it’s cold out and the stove’s on”,She said. Her voice was gentle in the way only teachers and doctors could achieve, and made him think of wooden furniture and bitter tea on cold days. 

“Thank you”,Erwin said as he stepped in. He gratefully closed the door behind him, shutting out the cold. 

“You can hang your coat on the door”,The woman told him, shuffling out the narrow entryway. He did as she said, disposing of his coat on one of the empty hooks mounted against the door. There were several hangers, but only one of them seemed to be in use. As if she had planned for more regular visitors, more inhabitants than there actually were. 

He followed her into the kitchen, which was small, but in a way that made it feel cozy instead of cramped. The cabinets were painted in alternating blue, red and yellow, a colourful vase with one of the blue flowers in it sitting on a small table in the corner. 

“Do you drink tea or coffee?”The woman asked, pulling out two mugs. 

“A cup of coffee would be nice, thank you”,Erwin answered, sitting down at the table. It was a little low for him, his knees pushing against the table top.

The woman hummed, and for a few minutes they were both silent, the only sound coming from the preparation of their drinks. “There you go dear. It’s been quite some time since I made coffee, but I think that’s one fine pot if I can say so myself”,She said, her dark curls bouncing with her words as she handed him his mug. 

“Thank you, it looks marvellous”,He said, again flashing her a smile. That seemed to satisfy her, her smile widening ever so slightly. She joined him at the table, holding a mug with a crude picture of a cat on it. 

“So, Irvin-”

“Erwin, actually.”

“Oh, sorry dear, my memory’s not what it used to be. You said you used to be a friend of Frieda’s, back when you were younger, is that right?”She asked. 

Erwin nodded, making sure to keep his face from looking overly formal. “We used to go to the same school”,He said as an explanation. “We weren’t close friends by any means, but I always wondered what happened to her after graduation”,He went on, then paused before adding,”She was always very well-liked.”

The woman nodded slowly, as if thinking over his words. “Yes, I heard she used to be popular. And beautiful, beautiful as well. Not that she isn’t anymore, but you know how it is. One never quite looks as good as they did in their youth”,She said matter of factly, twirling her spoonful of sugar into the coffee. 

“I suppose they don’t”,Erwin agreed quietly. It had been the first time anyone had mentioned Frieda in the present. The first spoken confirmation she was not only alive, but at home and in relative safety.

“Miss Robinson, I’ve been trying to find out what happened to Frieda ever since I was discharged. It’s been driving me crazy not knowing what happened”,He said, turning his eyes towards his coffee. 

“Call me Rachel, dear. I know it must be difficult. She really was a lovely girl”,She answered knowingly. Something twisted in Erwin's chest, but he pushed it down before it could latch. “Yes. Her family won’t tell me anything either”,He told her with a sigh. How easy would life have been, if Reiss just told him everything he wished to hear. How boring. 

“I’m sure they wouldn't. They’re very set on their privacy, you know. Very set”,She took a particular sip of her coffee, frowned, and dumped another spoonful of sugar into the liquid. Erwin watched it go under, the pile first tinting brown before it disappeared. “I’ve discovered that myself. Makes one wonder what happened”,Erwin said, the suggestion evident in his voice. “Hm. I’m not one for gossip, you know”,Miss Robinson answered, looking him straight in the eyes. Erwin couldn’t help but feel caught somehow, though the feeling faded with relative speed. 

“Neither am I. I just want to know what happened, so I can stop worrying over her. This has been eating away at me for weeks now. I can hardly sleep at night, not knowing what happened to her”,He turned his eyes to the table for dramatic effect. She would believe him, he didn’t doubt that. For some reason or another, people tended to take his words as truth, given they didn’t know him well enough to know better.

“Now there, there’s no need for all that. I’m sure she’s been worrying you plenty”,She said, slightly more brusque than her previous words had been. He didn’t miss the tone in her voice, nor the way her eyes flickered down to his unringed finger. Erwin saw it fit to keep quiet a little longer. 

“I wouldn’t go around telling other people’s business, but seeing how you’re a friend, I think they’d be alright with it. You don’t seem like the type to drag personal business out into the open”,She told him. Erwin nodded, attempting a look of endless gratitude. Which he supposed was accurate, but not for the reason she thought. 

“Frieda’s always had trouble. I’m sure you know that, seeing how the two of you went to school together. She used to get these seizures, you know. The doctors they took her to, they said it was epilepsy. I think they were right about that, as far as my opinion matters”,She said, twisting her spoon,”But those doctors, they did something horrible. They told the family she could be cured, but she’d to undergo an intense surgery to do so. Brain surgery. It works sometimes, but we don't recommened it. Not anymore, at least.

“Do you know how the brain is structured?”She asked suddenly. Erwin perked up at the question, then nodded,”It’s made out of the big brains, the cerebrum, and the small brains, the cerebellum, isn’t it?”

“Well, yes. You’re not wrong, but that’s not what I was getting at. The brain is split down the middle you see, into a left side and a right side. These two halves can communicate with each other, because they’re linked. Imagine it like two ends of a phone line. One phone sends a message, which travels over the line before coming out the other phone, where it’s interpreted to form a response. 

“Her doctors, well. They cut the line.”

Erwin blinked, letting the weight of her words settle. “They did what?”

“They severed the link between the two brain halves. I was hired to take care of her after the procedure was over”,The old nurse told him, her bottom lip tight.

“She didn’t have seizures anymore, so they did manage that. But there were other problems. You can’t cut a brain in half and expect it to function. She forgot how to talk for a while. Couldn’t write with her right hand anymore. There were days where her mood was just terrible, and she’d cry for hours. It broke my heart to see her like that. She once told me her hand didn’t feel like her own. Isn’t that strange? It would do things, like run its fingers through her hair without meaning to. It was like it wasn’t her hand at all, but someone else's sewn to her arm."

“I can understand that”,Erwin said, fighting the urge to look down at his arm. 

“Yeah, maybe. Anyway, the family argued over her for years. They couldn’t show her in public anymore, I’m sure you can see why. It went on for ages. At first they hoped she might recover, but the symptoms never left, not entirely. Despite all that, she was a clever girl, you need to know. It’s important you do.”

“She was always on the phone, calling people, making plans. I had hoped they’d leave it at that. But then one day, about ten years ago if I’m correct, I left her to see my sister for Christmas. I always wonder- But there’s no changing the past. When I came back, it was already too late. She'd been-”,The woman's hands shook, her lips quivering. She seemed to be years older, ancient and tired. Whatever it was that happened, it sounded as if it could be something truly damning. 

Maybe it’d be exactly what he needed.

“Do you need a moment?”Erwin asked, carefully studying her features. It would be really unfortunate if she were to cry right now.

Miss Robinson sucked in a deep breath, then shook her head,”No, thank you, I’ll be fine dear. But what they did was unforgivable. While I was gone, they performed a leucotomy on her. I’m sure you know it. It’s better known as a lobotomy.”

“She still lives with them today, though you can hardly call it living. She talks, sometimes. On her better days. Mostly it’s like taking care of a toddler, the poor thing. And she has this look sometimes, where her eyes seem to go dead. She has these beautiful blue eyes- They were so bright. Such a smart girl. I miss her, sometimes. She really was a great girl.”

“Sit still”,Levi ordered. Farlan batted his hands away, ducking his head. “I told you I’m fine”,He protested. The man's cheeks were red, his skin hot and sweaty . Levi tch-ed, grabbing the man by the collar,“I can smell your stink. Stay still.” Farlan squirmed under his grip, throwing a nasty glare Levi’s way. Fine, let him glare all he wanted. He didn’t protest when Levi pried his shirt open, nor when he stripped him of his undershirt.

They sat on the cracked tiles of the bathroom floor, Farlan’s teeth clicking together. Levi didn’t find it all that warm either, but it still worried him. It was cold, but not freezing. He unwrapped the bandages, stomach turning with it clung to the other’s shoulder. It had to be pried off, the blood having soaked and dried through the fabric. 

“That is disgusting”,Levi said after a moment of observation. “Yeah yeah, I know”,Farlan said, not meeting his eyes. 

The wound had crusted over. Dried blood all but covered the neat stitches, flakes cracking when touched. The skin was red and hard. A layer of his puss covered his fingers after he prodded it. Levi wanted to gag. For Farlan's dignity he didn’t, but it was close.

“It’s bad, right?”Farlan said, almost sounding apologetic. Levi wiped his fingers clean, then gave a nod. “Fucking terrible”,He agreed. Isabel rummaged around in the kitchen, the sound of her pots and pans clanking together audible through the thin walls. They were quiet for a few seconds. The smell spread through the air, seemed to bite itself into Levi’s nose. This was not what he’d been hoping to find when he came home. 

“Infected?”

“Yeah”,Levi told him. He’d seen some nasty wounds, had caused some himself, yet the sight never failed to make him feel sick. It had been easier when it had been people he didn’t know. When he could pretend they weren’t people at all, just monsters cowering behind human skin. 

“You need antibiotics. As soon as possible”,Levi told him, taking a clean towel off the rack. The water that came out the sink was anything but clean, but he wasn’t planning on applying it on the wound anyway. Farlan reached to take the towel from him, but Levi swiftly pulled back. 

“Easy trigger, you’ll hurt yourself”,He said, unloading the full scrutiny of his eyes onto Farlan. The man's cheeks darkened, but he kept Levi’s gaze, his own blue eyes hard. They stared for a few seconds, the silence buzzing in Levi’s ears. Finally, Farlan snapped the cord, diverting his eyes to the floor. 

“I hate feeling like this”,He mumbled, holding his painful shoulder with his right. The man's floppy blond hair fell over his eyes, hiding them from sight.

Levi didn’t respond. He knew what Farlan meant, and also that everything he could say would make it worse. Instead he started wiping the filth around the wound away, giving himself a clean workspace. The methodical wiping seemed to ease Farlan’s nerves. His tense muscles relaxed, some of the hardness leaving his face. 

“I can stop by the pharmacy tomorrow. I still have Ma’s locket, that should be enough, right?”Farlan asked with a frown. Levi didn’t bother looking up,”You’re not selling anything. I’ll take care of it”,He told him matter of factly. 

“Like you’ve been taking care of everything else?”Farlan asked, his voice so quiet it was easy to miss. This time Levi did look up. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”He asked, momentarily halting his cleaning efforts. 

“It’s nothing, forget I said anything”,Farlan was quick to respond. Too quick. Whatever was on his mind had been there for a while, months if Levi had to guess. 

Some twisted corner of his mind told him to press his thumb against the wound, twist until he talks.

He didn’t do that. He hated that the thought even occurred. 

Instead he continued wiping, scrubbing at a spot of thick dry pus. 

“It’s just that-”,There it was. Farlan was too honest for his own good. “-Well, you’ve been looking after us for who knows how long. And I appreciate it, I do, but you gotta trust us to hold our own for once.”

Levi would like to remind him who had the hole in his shoulder. “I know you can. Pawning your Ma’s locket is just not the way to do it”,He said with a jerky shrug. 

“You know but you don’t act like it. Feels like you’re always the one putting himself on the line and Isabel and I are just hoping to catch up”,Farlan said, as if was not the one who had been shot. 

“Bullshit”,Levi replied curtly. He felt Farlan’s eyes crawl over him, like two fire ants biting a trail over his skin. 

“Oh yeah? How are you planning to pay for the antibiotics? You put all your cash aside for us”,Farlan reminded him. Levi stubbornly avoided his eyes. 

“I’ll find a way. And that money is for me as well, don’t forget that. If it weren’t for the two of you this whole thing would’ve gone up in flames years ago”,He said. 

He finished wiping the wound, tossing the towel aside. There wasn’t a lot he could do now. He could take out the stitches, but the thought of opening the nasty thing up kept him from doing so. For all he knew he’d make things worse. 

“But we-

“Suck it up. You’re not selling your Ma’s locket, and you’re not whining about it”,Levi said, pushing Farlan's clothes into his hands. “And you ain’t a burden. Don’t you ever fucking dare to think you are. Fucking connard.”

His hands shivered when he closed the door behind him. He went to the kitchen, helped set the table while Isabel heated up a mysterious paste that only vaguely looked edible. She talked while she attempted to cook, her voice light. It sounded forced to him, but he didn’t call her out on it. 

After a few minutes Farlan joined them, his bad arm hanging limply at his side. Isabel tasked him with watching the beans. They ate, the food surprisingly inoffensive, the talk surprisingly unstrained. What had happened in the bathroom had stayed there, as it always did. Some things weren’t supposed to be brought up again.

Isabel challenged them to a game of cards, her grin stretching ear to ear as she declared her victory inevitable. Levi’s chest began to loosen, the final dredges of their conversation seeping out of his mind. Farlan laughed the first time Isabel lost, loud and loose like nothing was wrong. Like nothing could ever be wrong. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but to Levi there was no place more perfect than at that table, in that kitchen, in that dingy old house. 

“Is this seat taken?”A high voice asked, pointing at the seat beside him. Erwin looked up from his notebook, then shook his head, taking in the source of the question. It was a girl, a child really. Her face was round, with a broad mouth and two large blue eyes. Her hair was blond and tied together at the nape, a few loose strands falling over her face.  

She sat on the seat next to his, her feet dangling above the floor. A stuffed pillowcase was laying under her seat, the opening tied with a pink ribbon. He didn’t pay her much mind, and kept on writing. The bus took off again, rocking the child back and forth and messing up his handwriting. He hissed through his teeth, then looped his hook around the cover to hold it in place. He continued writing, making sure not to forget a word of the conversation he’d had. 

He hadn’t expected Frieda’s life to have gone smoothly, but his theories had been a lot less destructive than the truth had been.

He had suspected something more akin to a disownment, or a vow of silence in exchange for a share of her family’s wealth. It would have made sense. 

This complicated matters.

“Excuse me sir, but are you a pirate?”

He looked up from his pages, sparing the child next to him a glance. Her mouth was curved into a smile, her eyes round and curious. “No”,He replied flatly, turning back to his notes. Damnit, he had misspelled cerebrum. 

“Oh. Are you sure?”

“Very”,Erwin told her. The child nodded, as if taking in the information. She fiddled with the ends of her hair, the golden strands reflecting distracting shines of sunlight. She was quiet for a few minutes, staring ahead at the seat before her.

“Excuse me, but do you also need to get off in Shiganshina?”She asked. 

“Yes. This bus is headed for the station”,He told her, not taking his eyes off of the paper. She nodded, seeming a little taken aback by the answer. 

“Can I ask another question?”She asked, an inherent contradiction in her words. Erwin turned to face her, then gave a nod. “Do you know how I can go-”She rummaged through her pockets, pulling out a torn paper corner with an address on it,”-Here?”

“Uhm”,He started, trying to recall where the address was placed. Shiganhina was a large city after all. It brought forth no familiarity, no spark of recognition. “Can’t your mother tell you that?”

“No, she’s not here right now. I’m going alone”,The girl told him matter of factly. That seemed odd. Erwin tried to spot anyone resembling the child standing in the aisle. When that turned up fruitless he looked around at the other seats, which were full, but not with people he’d hold for plausible candidates for this child's mother. Most were factory workers, the others mainly elderly women, who sat and gossiped together without sparing the girl a second glance. She really was alone.

The child stared up at him, her eyes huge and rounded.

“Where’s your mother?”He asked her. It wasn’t unheard of for children to travel by bus alone, but this particular specimen seemed to fall towards the younger end of the spectrum. 

“She’s just at home”,She answered plainly. “She didn’t want to come with you? You didn’t run away, did you?”He asked. 

“No, she knew I was leaving. I’m going to live with my father from now on”,She declared, clutching the piece of paper in her small fingers. 

Ah, that was a relief. At least there was someone who was going to look after her. 

“So do you know where this is?”She asked again. Erwin had to admit defeat, and shook his head,”No, I don’t. But I’m sure you’ll find someone at the station who will.”

“Will you help me? It’s not good to talk to strangers all alone”,She stammered at him, a bit of fear flashing through her eyes. A solid point. 

“I am a stranger”,Erwin reminded her. 

“I thought you were a pirate. What’s your name?”

“Erwin.”

“Okay. Now you’re not a stranger anymore”,She said, then smiled shyly. “Anyone can tell you their name”,He said, quietly resigning himself to keeping an eye on her until someone better suited for the task presented themself. An inconvenience, but he could hardly let the child remain unsupervised. And there was that disappearance Mike mentioned…

“Can I ask one more thing? Please?”

Erwin hesitated a moment, then gave her a nod.

“If you’re not a pirate, then why is your hand like that?”

He should have seen the question coming. Should have, but didn’t. He closed the notebook with a little too much force, then pulled his sleeve down. 

“I was in an accident”,He answered honestly. Her eyes followed his sleeve, only looking up when it was fully pulled down.“With a boat?”She guessed. Erwin blinked, then gave a nod. 

“And a cannon?”

Erwin thought of the engine, thought of rising pressure and spiking heat, and decided that it wasn't like an actual cannon at all.

“No. The boat just broke”,He said. His skin seemed to tighten, just a little. His voice sounded quieter than it usually did, and he scraped his throat to fix it. “Was it a wooden boat? With a sail? And a pirate flag?”She kept asking, her little mouth not stopping for a breath. 

“No, it was a metal boat. It did have a flag, but it wasn’t like the ones you’re thinking of.” Almost involuntarily the old image forced itself to his mind, the familiar flag burning to a crisp, the last thing he saw before everything went black.

“Do boats break a lot?”She asked, not noticing his discomfort. “Sometimes”,He answered, a shiver running down his spine,”But not that often.”

“Does your father know you’re coming?”He asked before she could fire another question. 

“No. But he said if I ever needed anything I just had to ask”,She said, kicking her legs. She seemed entirely unbothered by the situation. He wondered if she’d done something like this before. It didn’t sound like the most stable plan, but Erwin figured that whoever her father was would find a way to manage the situation. It was better than sending her on the next bus back, which wouldn’t leave until after sundown.

He hummed, then opened his notebook again and continued writing. The child watched him for a few seconds, then pulled her pillowcase out and loosened the ribbon. He watched from the corner of his eye as she pulled out a hefty book, laying it out on her legs. He wrote, she read. They stayed silent for the rest of the ride, which Erwin couldn’t help but be grateful for. 

Children were a sign of a thriving society. And they were strange curious creatures that seemed to have a talent for locating sensitive aspects of oneself, and drew them out in the open without even noticing the damage it caused.

Strange, harmful creatures. 

He could enjoy speaking with them on occasion, though to call him inexperienced would be an understatement.

He packed up his notebook as the bus rolled into the station, hiding it in the inside of his coat. The girl next to him stuffed her book inside the pillowcase, twisting the opening a few times before tying her ribbon around it. He wondered if she had noticed their destination on her own, or if she was just copying him, and his gestures.

“Are we at the station?”She asked while twisting the ribbon between her fingers. 

“Yes. Don’t run away once we’re off the bus. Stay in my line of sight at all times, understood?”

His voice slipped seamlessly into a heavier cadence. It would be all too easy to lose track of one small child on a crowded platform. The station was a place crawling with buses and passerbies, and it wasn’t uncommon for someone to either go missing or end up under the wheels of one of the lengthy vehicles. 

The girl nodded, blonde hairs falling over her face. 

“Understood!”She answered with an equally serious expression, her small face pulled tight. Her fingers were iron locks around the pillowcase, her feet stiffly pushed together. 

The bus doors opened with a mechanical sigh, the conductor standing near the exit as the people spilled out. The girl waited for an opening, then shuffled off the seat and onto the jam packed aisle. Erwin waited for a second, he was a lot larger and less able to slip in anywhere after all, then hurried after her. It was a miracle, he thought, how every time without fail a bus turned into the most unpleasant place in the world when it became time to unboard. As soon as his soles touched the brick platform, he became very aware of the stark cold that seemed to gnaw at his cheeks.

The people behind him wasted no time in trying to rush out, the people before him seemed to all but run to catch the various connecting buses. He searched for the child's blonde head, then felt his heart skip a beat when he found it. He rushed forward and grabbed her by the elbow, yanking her back before she could be crushed under the bus that was parking next to their platform. 

She yelped, then went quiet as she watched the vehicle come to a halt. 

“Follow me”,He said, not releasing his grip for the time being. 

He pulled her to a less crowded spot on the platform somewhere they could breathe. His hand loosened, but hers shot forward in return, clutching into his arm with the same iron grip as it had held her pillowcase with earlier. 

“Are you hurt?”He asked her firmly. He could feel her nails dig into his skin, forming a curved line above his wrist. She mumbled something inaudible back, her eyes darting around, like she’d never seen such a crowded place before. 

“Can you repeat that?”Erwin pressed. She looked alright to him, but it was no secret that some injuries weren’t as easily visible as others. “No!”,She answered, her voice raised. “I’m fine.”

Okay, that was good. Now he just needed to find the nearest police officer or family member to pawn her off to. He tugged lightly at his arm, but that only made her grip tighten. He sighed. It seemed like they were stuck together for the time being. 

“Let’s hurry on then. You do still have your fathers address, correct?”

He received a nod and an audible “yep” back. 

Erwin took her to the station's ticket store, where she continued to follow him around. There were no cops on duty nearby, he learned from a yawning clerk, and when he pointed at the phone he got a similarly disappointing answer. 

“It’s out of service”,The clerk said, then sighed like Erwin's question had been a personal bother. “Is it broken?”,Erwin asked, looking at the suspiciously functioning looking phone. 

“It's just out of service”,The other shrugged, scratching a pimple. 

“So it’s not broken? I can make a call?”

“Geez old man, if it’s out of service it’s -”,Yawn,”-out of service. Don’t ask me to do anything ‘bout it.”

Erwin felt his jaw click.  Fine, he’d figure out something else. The girl waited with her pillowcase between her legs as he searched for a proper map of the area. He had lived in Shiganishina for the past few years, but his knowledge was limited to the station, his house, and the closest grocery store. He paid for the map, and nearly got it pulled out of his hand the second they set foot outside. 

“I can find it myself from here”,The child said when her attempt at thievery showed futile. 

“It’s not busy anymore”,She continued, gesturing at the emptying platforms,”And I’m not a baby.”

Erwin severely doubted that, though he kept his mouth shut about it. “You’re not walking to an unfamiliar location on your own”,He told her sternly. 

“Why not?”

Because there were several roads with multiple lanes and poorly marked crossings between here and her fathers address. Because streets tended to get less safe as afternoons ended. 

Because the world is a cruel place towards little girls, especially if they wandered on their own. 

He didn’t tell her any of those reasons, instead folded out the map and searched for the address. 

“Your father doesn’t live far from here”,He told her once he found it. 

“He doesn’t?”

Was she disappointed? 

“I can escort you home”,Was what he said, though in actuality there was no doubt in his mind he’d do it. 

“You really don’t have to. I can do it myself”,She said. A small bubble of snot blew out of her nose, and she loudly sniffed it back up.

“I insist”,He answered, handing her the map. He had the feeling he’d need a free hand. “So you can follow where I’m taking you”,He gave as an explanation when she looked up in confusion.

“Okay I guess. Thank you.”

Her hands were occupied now, but it made no difference in how closely she followed him as they left the station. She was like a stray duckling at his side, her blonde head hovering next to his elbow as they walked. He held onto her shoulder when crossing busier roads, and once had to pull her back by the back of her coat to get out of the way of a rogue cyclist.

 The clerk had been very off in calling him in an old man, but he was starting to feel his hairs graying the more time he spent with this strangely exhausting child. She seemed determined to prove she could do everything alone, and the busy traffic would just have to adapt. 

“Thirty-and-four, thirty-and-six, thirty-and-eight! We’re here!”She announced. Erwin let out a breath of relief, then smiled. At last, the child was home and she was home safe. 

“You’re certain?”He checked, squinting as he tried looking at the map. 

“Yep. It’s here. Thank you for walking me home, mister Erwin”,She said, neatly folding the paper up and handing it back. “It was no trouble, miss-”,He paused, trying to remember if she’d told him her name. His mind came up blank. Had he really forgotten such a trivial thing? 

“Historia. Historia Reiss!”She offered with a grin. Reiss? No, it couldn’t be, Reiss didn’t have any daughters but Frieda. And certainly no blonde ones, he had seen the photographs. He swallowed, quickly recovering from the shock. 

“Miss Historia. It was no trouble at all”,He said. He tapped the edge of his cap, which made her giggle, and turned around to walk away. He made it four steps before curiosity overtook him. 

“Historia. Is your mother named Lori Reiss?”He asked. Historia looked over her shoulder, her raised fist hovering before the door. “Alma”,She answered, a puzzled look on her face. “Why?”

Not the same Reiss family, then. It would be unreasonably lucky if that were the case.

“It’s nothing. Good luck”,He said, turning away again. Still, something nagged at him. Something he couldn’t explain, much less justify. He walked to the end of the street, then stopped next to a lamppost. 

He watched as Historia knocked against the door. 

As a shadow travelled from the upstairs window to the downstairs and finally the door.

And ultimately, he watched as Rod Reiss took his daughter in his arms and quickly pulled the door shut, hiding them both from prying eyes.

Well. That had been unexpected.

“Oi, Ghunter”,Levi called out. The man looked over his shoulder, face tightly pulled together. 

“Rivaille”,Ghunter answered, waiting for him to catch up. He was dressed in a long, raggedy coat, the tip of his strange backcombed hair hanging over the collar. 

Ghunter wasn’t really his name, just like Rivaille wasn’t Levi’s, but they were good enough for the extent of their relationship. There was no place for real names where they were going.

“I thought you weren’t coming”,The man went on, running a hand over the back of his head. “Fucking bus times fucked up again”,Levi answered with a sour expression. Ghunter made a meaningless noise, one that Levi chose to ignore. His borrowed boots with the thick soles made his ankles sting, the wooden slabs he’d used to further prop himself up digging into his heels. They always did that, but it was worth it.

He was nearly at eye level with Ghunter. Still short, but not as noticeable. The chance of being recognised was small, though small didn’t mean safe.

His hat covered his eyes, the hair pushed back behind his ears. The clothes he wore were borrowed, and fit him in such a way that made it impossible to determine the shape of his body. As far as disguises went it wasn’t the worst he’d pulled together. Ghunter explained the situation as they walked, who to talk to, who to ignore. Most of it was the same as previous times, Levi thought, letting the man talk. 

Don’t trust anyone, avoid the Warriors at all costs, stick closeby. 

They stopped before an old storefront, with blacked out windows and a boarded doorway. A red logo marked the bricks, making it impossible to ignore. It almost looked like it’d been painted with blood, though the shade was all wrong. Real blood didn’t dry as brightly.

An ugly, unassuming building, something easy to ignore if you didn’t know what’d been happening inside. That was the point, had always been the point. 

There was a man standing by the only available door. He had a gun. And a bat.

There were stains on the bat. Disgusting. If you’re going to carry a weapon, at least keep it tidy.

Levi was very aware of the way the man's eyes as they took in his and Ghunters appearance. He kept his scowl neutral, a difficult task. His stomach squirmed when he even thought about the reason he was here. Didn’t change that it still had to be done, and that he would have to be the one doing it.  

Oruo and Petra would both stand out too much. Mike might do fine, until he got the urge to put that long nose of his to use. Nanaba… 

Nanaba might actually have been able to pull it off, hadn’t she been sick.

His pondering had caused him to miss the guards question, but he caught the end of Ghunters reply,”-Roasted with parsley on top. We’re with R&R”,He said, pointing his thumb at the two of them. 

“Ah. In that case-”,The man stepped aside, opening the door for them to enter. Ghunter gave him a nod before going in, Levi didn’t. No point being nice to the sort of scum who kept operations like this running. Somewhere, vaguely in the back of his mind, he thought it wasn’t really the guys fault. He probably had a family. People he needed to protect, to provide for. Levi’d done worse things than stand guard back in his day.

But then he headed inside, and fuck, all empathy vanished in a heartbeat.

The store’s interior had been slightly modified. The shelves had been reduced to a head of rubble in a corner, the old salesware removed. The same symbol that had been painted outside was scratched on a door near the back, a door which only occasionally opened to reveal a set of stairs going down. He had a rough idea of what he’d find if he went down there. He suppressed a grimace and kept his head down.

The place smelled, of mold and shit . No surprises there. How bad did the smell have to be downstairs, for it to permeate this floor as well?

There was a fenced off area in the middle, reaching from the concrete blocks on the floor nearly all the way up to the ceiling. Around it were two circles of chairs, some already taken, most empty. Levi and Ghunter picked two seats near the back, where the light didn’t hit them directly. 

From there it felt like he was staring at a cage. He guessed he was, in a way. He felt sick. He wanted to feel sick. In truth, it was hard to figure out what he was feeling at all.

“Is it really necessary to watch the whole thing?”Levi asked, keeping his voice barely above a whisper. Ghunter, his face a shade paler than usual, nodded.

“The doors lock after it starts. Nobody gets in, nobody gets out”,Ghunter replied in an equally quiet tone. 

The uncomfortable thing in Levi’s gut twisted again, but he just nodded. He crossed his arms, and stretched his legs, sinking a little deeper into his chair. The room quickly filled up. Men, mostly dressed like him and Ghunter. Some of them had their hair parted neater or wore shinier shoes. Levi regarded them with disdain. They came here voluntarily, being free to flaunt their richer employers, their luck as they mindlessly haggled over a person's life. It made him want to punch something. Or scream into someone’s face, kick it until he broke teeth. 

He had to stay quiet.

The bidding started at ten.

A man with a freakishly clean middle part explained the rules. Name your price, hold up your hand. Stay seated until the bidding is over. Don’t touch the fence, don’t approach the fence, don’t throw anything at the fence, don’t stick your hand through, don’t don’t don’t. The cage’s height started making a little more sense as the man recounted the various offences one could make. 

“And I lastly, I urge all of you to remain good sports. If you have an issue, please wait until the bidding is over to address it. Thank you”,He said, then clapped his grimy hands before slinking out the back door, gone like the snake he was.

Levi braced himself when he heard the hinges creak, followed by a pair of light footsteps. When he glanced up, the cage had been filled. With a child. Not the child he had been looking for, this one was older, but a fucking kid either way. He looked away for a second. He’d known it before he entered. Hell, everyone with a working pair of brains knew. 

It’s different, knowing and seeing. 

"Fifty",Someone to his left started. “Seventy-five!”,Someone else shouted. The kid’s clothes hung off her frame, her hair a matted mess hanging over her shoulder. Her eyes were wide and green. Isabel’s eyes, trapped in a haunted face.

Stay still. 

Stay still. 

You can’t help her. Fuck.

 Stay still.

Next to him Ghunters hands had formed fists. Ghunter was an active figure in the underground, more connected even than Levi had been in his days. The only reason he helped Levi the way he did was out of fear. He’d seen too much, did too much for his survival to be guaranteed if the law got involved. 

But this. 

This wasn’t fair. This wasn’t right.

When it’s murder you can find a reason for it. He’d kill me first, or she was going to call the cops. Or, this was for the greater good. If it involved blood, it somehow became easy to justify. At least you can say you did something.

This? This was just pointless. 

Levi jabbed the man's side before anyone could take notice,”Putain, get a hold of yourself”,He mumbled, not changing his posture. Ghunter swallowed, the lump in his throat bobbing up and down. 

The bidding reached one hundred dollars. The girl in the cage started to sway on her feet, holding onto the fence for support. Levi couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. She seemed so small. Was it fair, to stand by and watch her get sold into a life of misery? He was there to save a different child. Did that mean her life somehow mattered more than all the others? Levi began to find himself disgusting. He couldn’t wait for this to be over, yet he knew that for them, the nightmare would just begin.

Some of the men started shouting, at each other, but also at her. Like she had any power over the situation. Like this was all somehow her fault. Her eyes were so damn green. 

“And sold! To the man with the gold chains for one-hundred-and-twenty-dollars!”

The girl’s head snapped around, looking for her new buyer. Her eyes stayed with Levi even after she’d been led down the stairs, hovering over before his vision like two silent accusations. She’d be collected later, he vaguely heard the ringleader mention, but it was hard to hear over the rushing in his ears. 

Stay still. 

If he wanted to give Ymir any shot, any chance at all, he needed to stay still.

The bidding went on. 

There was a woman in a torn dress, a boy with a shaved head. No lice. A toddler and a teenager, sold together as a pair. 

Her kid? 

Her brother? 

Levi raised his hand for them. He’d have to do it some time, and the higher the price, the more likely they’d end up in a decent place, he figured. They were eventually sold for two-hundred-fifteen dollars.

There were others who didn’t get sold at all. One boy who couldn’t stop puking, a girl they had to practically drag in by her elbows. Shit knew what would happen to them. Nobody who’d miss them if they never appeared again.

The longer he sat there, the more nauseous he felt.

Halfway through he pulled out his handkerchief, rubbing it over his hands until they itched red.

There was no sign of Ymir, no tiny blonde girls who’d let pigs escape for no real reason. He hadn’t expected it either, the time between now and her disappearance had grown too long, but it wouldn’t have been impossible.

He leaned back a miniscule amount when the ringleader announced the end of the bidding. Levi shared a glance with Ghunter, still too pale to be healthy, his mouth pulled into a tight line. 

The doors wouldn’t open until everyone had collected their new acquisitions. That gave them more than enough time to ask around a little. He stuffed his handkerchief back in his pocket, his hands still raw and painful, as if he’d just hit someone too hard with them. Or dragged them over sandpaper. What he’d done was worse, though. Much worse. 

The salesman with the shitty hair was busy cleaning up the fences, and Levi walked up to him, forcing himself to appear relaxed as he lounged by the man's side. He came up taller than the other for once. “Good night?”He asked, his voice casual. “Nothing out of the ordinary”,The man replied, heaving the fence out of the concrete blocks. 

“You didn’t buy anything, I saw. Was there something wrong with the selection?”

Yes, he wanted to say, everything. Starting with age and species.

“Nah, just not what I was looking for”,Levi answered.

“What were you looking for? We recommend coming here without any expectations, it helps keep an open mind.”

Levi wanted to tell him where he could stick his open mind bullshit, but instead forced his mouth into a lazy drawl,”Ah, everybody’s got a preference. Ain’t a man allowed to play favorites? Say, have you processed any blondes recently? Young ones, the kind that don’t talk a lot.”

The words were like slugs falling out his mouth, fat and disgusting and filling his throat with slime. They sounded good, though, going off the salesman’s expression.

“Can’t tell you any specifics I’m afraid, but you could always visit the next bidding. We might have something that interests you there”,The other said, like he was rattling off of a sales pitch,”We’ll be inside the post office on the old linen street. I hope you’ll find what you’re looking for”,The man said with a smile that indicated he considered the conversation over.

Levi slunk away, dragging his heavy boots as he strolled through the room. He saw Ghunter smoking with a group near a cracked window, and decided to leave him alone for now. If he needed a smoke to steady his nerves, so be it. 

Levi could hardly blame him for that. 

One of them dropped a box of matches, and Levi almost instinctively picked it up before anyone saw. It was already in his pocket by the time anyone really noticed it was missing. 

He winced when a hand touched his shoulder, catching himself just in time to stop his fist from colliding with the other's face. The owner of the hand turned out to be a tall man with a blond bun and grim lines on his face. 

“The fuck do you want?”Levi asked, maybe a little more hostile than he ought to be. He straightened his spine, fighting against the urge to make himself seem smaller.

“I heard you talking just now. Do you have a minute?”The man asked. Levi studied him for a moment, then nodded. They took to a quiet corner, where Levi leaned against the wall in relief. His ankles were starting to ache. 

“What’s the issue?”He asked, hands in his pocket to hide their redness. “You mentioned something back there. A young girl, blonde, who doesn’t talk too much. And that, I don’t know. It felt a little specific”,The man told him. 

“It’s not that specific”,Levi answered with a frown, which he only realized the other couldn’t see after he’d done it. He tipped his head back slightly, so they could look each other in the eye.

“It wouldn’t usually be. But if you’re looking for someone…”,The man’s voice trailed off, and he looked expectantly at Levi. Levi kept his face stiff, taking care not to reveal anything,”What’s it to you?”,He asked instead.

“I think I know who you were talking about”,The man said instead of answering his question. “There was a girl here, just like the one you described.” The words landed with a quiet simmer, like someone had just pressed a hot iron against Levi’s shoulder instead of a flesh and blood hand. 

“Yes?”He asked, straining his voice. 

“Go on.”

“I don’t know too much, I’m just the driver. And a lousy one at that. I’d say she was about seven, eight, maybe. Small and too skinny, you know the type. Mama don’t feed her enough, dada’s not around. And if he is, you know. Anyway. She arrived one evening, was gone about three days later. Didn’t speak a word as far as I’m aware. Not that there’s much folk to talk to down there.”

Levi wordlessly reached into his pocket, pulling out Ymir’s picture. The puncture hole from when Petra had stabbed it to the wall rubbed against his finger. He didn’t look at it. He didn’t want her paper stare boring into him at a time like this.

“This her?”He asked. 

The other looked closer, then nodded,”Yeah that’s her.”

“Can you tell me who bought her?”Levi asked, feeling his heartbeat fasten. The man hesitated at this, then shook his head. 

“I don’t know who it was. But they had something I recognised. I don’t know how much use it is to you, but they had these cuffs on their shirts, you know. I was thinking where I’d seen it, and then I remembered”,The man paused, then went on in a lower tone. 

“It was the Mantis.”

“Mantis? Is that a plant?”Levi asked. 

“Funny. No, the Mantis were a couple of guys that used to commission kids from us. It was a while ago, but I’d remember that button anywhere. If your girl’s with them, I’d get her out of there as soon as I could.” The man sighed, letting his eyes glide over the room,”Of course that goes for anyone here.”

“Right”,Levi answered, letting the information sink in. Custom buttons weren’t cheap, and you hardly got them just for fashion. No, it implied an organisation. That sort of thing implied money, status. The means to hide shit. 

“They’re like the Warriors?”He asked, thinking of the gang that operated in the Eastern part of the city. They were rich, powerful, brutal. Had a tendency to recruit kids. Take them young, get them hooked, once they’re in deep enough they won’t dare to leave.

“Nah, Mantis is bigger”,The driver said. 

That got Levi’s attention. 

“D’you know why they went for her?”He asked. 

“No, but I do remember they asked for the same features back in the day. Blonde, caucasian, similar age. Don’t ask me for names or numbers, I only know what I saw.” 

Levi kicked the heel of his foot against his toes, not looking the other man in the face,“Sounds like you’ve seen a lot. When were the other girls commissioned?”

“Years ago. Think it was either ‘46 or ‘47, I can’t remember”,The other said, drumming his fingers on the wall. His expression twisted, as if he wasn’t sure he should continue talking. When Levi stayed quiet, he did.

“Listen, I know it’s not much, but for what it’s worth I hope you find her. We don’t hear a lot from our clients, and what we hear is always bad, but none of them ever gave me the creeps like those guys from Mantis.”

“There was something wrong with them, up here”,The man tapped the side of his head, then looked down. 

“They don’t think like you and me, you understand. And sometimes you hear about a kid who escaped or got out, shit like that. People like to talk. Word spreads fast. Not Mantis, though. The only thing Mantis ever leaked was cash, and only God knows how they managed to keep all quiet.”

The driver quickly went away after that, his shoulders hunched close together and his head aimed towards the ground. It was only after Levi had watched him vanish into the crowd that the full implications of his words banged into his head.

 An organisation, multiple disappearances, commissions, buttons, money, rumours. It all gathered in his head like a whirlwind, centering around the little girl that had lived there since he first heard her name. 

Ymir, Ymir, Ymir, what hell have you found yourself in?

The box of matches was heavy in his pocket, pressing against his hand like it was alive. Somewhere down the line Ymir’s empty eyes shifted into those of the first girl who’d been sold, scared and accusing all the same. How long had this been going? How many children brought to terrible fates? 

Sold like pieces of stale bread, like they were nothing more than an empty husk. His thumb stroke the matchbox. He resumed his stroll through the store, the people still there and growing increasingly disgruntled as time went on. Impatient to take their newly bought human home with them. 

He felt like he had to throw up. 

For a moment a future laid out for him, one where he struck a match. He’d throw it in the pile of discarded shelves, where there was a lot of wood and lots of fuel for a fire to spread. It would spread to the walls, and then the ceiling. The doors would still be locked, so the room would end up in a panic. It would provide him enough time to run downstairs. It wouldn’t guarantee a safe escape, but it would give them a chance. 

They’d have a shot at getting away. It would be so laughably easy. 

His fingers curled around the matchbox, the corners digging into his skin. So goddamn easy. 

But. If the fire spread to the ceiling the store might collapse. If the door opened someone might get trampled. No, people would be trampled. The smaller kids downstairs wouldn’t stand a chance at making it out in time. Some might even end up trapped in the basement, until they’d choke due to a lack of air. And if they did escape, then what? Continue starving on the street? Take care of their festering burns in public bathrooms? They might even end up back here, and access to the next bidding would be highly restricted. 

He had all the means to provide them with a chance, but the truth of the matter was simple. Nearly none of them would be able to take it. 

The door unlocked, the people leaving with their purchases. Ghunter found him, and the both of them left quietly. Levi couldn’t stand looking at the people around him, felt his mouth flood sour. The one time he looked up, he locked eyes with the girl he’d seen at the start of the evening. Her hand was clutched in a larger man's grasp, and her eyes glossed over almost instantly. All the earlier fear had gone, only resignation left. He hated it. Hated himself for not doing anything.

His boots were heavy as he walked, all the eyes of the world weighing over him. They followed him, out the street, on the bus, all the way to his desk at the empty office where he collapsed into his chair, head buried in his arms.

His shoulders shook, his eyes stung, and outside the window the world ticked on like nothing ever happened. Farlan could think what he wanted to, but Levi had never felt more powerless in his life.

Rose wouldn’t talk to her. That was alright. She didn’t talk much anyway. Maria scratched her crayon over the paper, drawing a thick-stemmed flower. She made some petals purple and some petals pink. Rose sat next to her on the floor, her pin straight hair hanging over her face. Maria had pushed a crayon and paper over, but she hadn’t touched it yet. 

She just sat there, eyes on the floor, hands folded between her legs. At least she’d left the bed, yesterday she’d spend the entire day hiding underneath the blanket.

“I think the sky should be green”,Maria said with a squint. “What do you think?”

Rose of course didn’t answer, so Maria nodded decisively. 

“Green it is”,She said, coloring the top of the page green. The only sound in the room was that of her crayon, scratching back and forth over the paper. 

A drop of red landed next to her hand. She halted her drawing, then turned to Rose. The girl had a line of blood running from her eye down her cheek, steadily growing thicker. Maria sighed, put down her crayon, and grabbed a towel. 

“Hold steady”,She said, quickly wiping the trail away. 

“There, all better now”,She said, smiling at Rose. The towel had been white when she’d gotten it, but now it was nearly entirely red. It stained her hands to hold it, and she wiped her hand on her dress before taking the crayon again. 

“When you feel the next one coming, try looking up instead of down. It helps stop mine”,She told the younger girl. Rose gave her a small nod, one eye still bright red. She didn’t look at Maria, and her chin had small wrinkles in it. Maria’s smile fell, and she softly nudged the smaller girl’s shoulder. She probably wouldn’t cry- Crying was more difficult now, but Maria was old and wise enough to know that you didn’t have to see something in order for it to be real. 

Rose’s sadness was real, even as she cried red instead of tears.

“You don’t have to be sad Rose, I’m here with you! We’ll get better together. And then we’ll go visit the outside again, and we’ll laugh and see planes and flowers and animals again. We just need to get better first, that’s all”,Maria said, guiding Rose’s hand to the crayon. 

“Promise?”Rose’s voice wobbled and broke, almost inaudible. Maria felt her heart break a little, and grabbed on to the girl's smaller hand. 

“Of course. We’re sisters now, right? Sisters never lie.”

Chapter Text

“So that’s why I-”

“Hold this for me”,Hange interrupted, directing his hand to hold a thin glass bottle filled with a mysterious transparent liquid. Erwin did as they said, holding the bottle in place. The thing shook lightly as they dropped a single droplet into it, their eyebrows pulled into a focused frown and their tongue sticking out light. They let out a shriek of delight as it fell into the liquid, bubbled for a moment, then went still. 

Erwin scraped his throat,”So that is why-”

“Yeah yeah hang on. Hold this for a sec’, it really can’t wait”,Hange interrupted again, pulling the bottle out of his hand and immediately thrusting something else in its place. They caught a glimpse of his expression, then gave a well natured punch against his shoulder,”Sorry, I’ll shut up and listen in a moment. This is just really important.”

Their eyes flashed behind their safety goggles, their voice so sincere Erwin couldn’t bring himself to be annoyed. “I see. Don’t let me distract you”,He answered. 

“You’re being so so helpful, truly”,Hange said with a grin. “Now where did I put my tweezers…”

The tweezers turn out to be for taking something out of the bottle in Erwin’s hand, a jar filled with dozens of tiny white things that appeared to be crawling, though he might have been seeing motion where there wasn’t any. He wanted to ask what they were, but his better judgement won against his curiosity. He could end up standing there for hours.

“All-right! I think that’s it”,Hange beamed, rolling their gloves off their hands. A strange stew bubbles behind them, white and pale and with an odd shine to it. It didn’t look like something that should be left unattended without a lid, but then again, Erwin wasn’t a scientist. If Hange thought it was alright it most likely was. He hoped.

“So what were you talking about earlier? It sounded pretty serious”,Hange asked as they removed their protective lab clothing. They struggled with the ends of their sleeves, coming dangerously close to knocking over the boiling pot behind them. 

“Yes. I want you to present your research at the event”,Erwin told them, keeping an eye on the stew. He wondered what would happen if it were knocked over. Talk about a waste of resources. 

“The one about radioactivity? I’m not doing anything radio-related”,Hange frowned. 

“I’m aware. But seeing as it is the last time we’ll be able to inform the public of our activities, I’d say we’re obliged to share at least something”,He said. 

“Fair enough”,Hange sighed, then turned to their lab with a look of adoration. “Is there anything I can’t talk about?”

Erwin gave a half hearted shrug, following Hange’s gaze. He didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary, nothing that warranted the particular look of love Hange held for it. “Just make sure you can explain it in under forty minutes. I’m sure you’ll find a way to keep them entertained.”

"Forty minutes? Just forty? You expect me to explain something in that little time?”

“Call it an exercise in constraint”,Erwin told them,”Chin up. You’ll find a way.”

Hange’s bottom lip turned into a pout. “I won’t even finish the introduction in time”,They said. Their eyes widened a moment, then went back to their normal size. “I have faith in your ability to summarize”,Erwin told them as earnest as he could.  “Keep dreaming. I’ll try, but I can’t promise it won’t be lengthy”,Hange snorted. They fell on the roller chair, the tiny wheels slipping across the length of the desk. Hange grabbed their pen and a blank paper, scribbling things Erwin rather quickly gave up on following. 

“What’ll you be talking about?”They asked, effortlessly writing without looking at their words. 

“Me?”Erwin asked, raising his eyebrows slightly. “I hadn’t been planning on saying anything really. You and the other head scientists have a far stronger grasp on the subject than I do”,He said. 

“What seriously?”Hange asked, still not looking at what they were writing. The words were starting to tilt down at a concerning angle. 

“But you are the talking guy. It’s like, your whole thing”,They cocked their head, their ponytail falling over their head like a lion’s mane. 

“My whole thing”,Erwin repeated flatly. “Good to know I still have some value in your eyes.”

Hange rolled their eyes, momentarily stopping their writing, which was starting to look like a piece of modern art. 

“Ha ha. You know what I mean. People tolerate me, but they listen to you. Hell, if you manage to rub that ice off your face they might even like you”,They said. Erwin paused, letting the words hit for a few heartbeats.

“You do realize I can still fire you, right?”

Hange huffed, a smile tugging at their lips. “Like you could get me out. You wouldn’t last a day trying to get me to leave”,They said with a smirk. 

“Is that a challenge?”Erwin retorted.

Hange chuckled, then finally looked at the notes they’d been writing. “Nah, just a warning. Took me so long to get my claws into a lab that could keep up with me, I’m not leaving now. Besides, I need to finish my research before I’ll even consider giving it all up. There’s this thing I discovered, right, and it’s like the world suddenly opened up to me.”

“

It’s so amazingly beautiful, Erwin. You know the hallucigenia? Well, I think I might finally be able to harness their ability, and at this rate I might get it ready for human trials before the end of the year!”At this they let out a shriek, banging their hand on the desk while rocking back and forth. The chair swung wildly, Erwin feared it might have snapped if they went on. 

“Human trials? Already?”He pressed.

 “YES! Isn’t it amazing!”Hange giggled, chuckled, and snorted all at once, their feet kicking as the chair struggled to keep up with them. They quickly sobered up though, keeping a broad but focused smile on their face.

“Not yet though. But I am close to a breakthrough. I’m so close Erwin, you can’t believe it. I can smell it. Every time I step into the lab I smell my discovery coming closer. It’s a matter of time, really, I’m so close”,Hange hiccup, then went quiet. 

“I see”,Erwin said quietly, carefully studying their features. For a moment they reminded him of a statue, a face both grim and hopeful, on the brink of taking another step of the shackles humanity had been tied behind since its conception. This face, this head, it housed perhaps the greatest mind of the modern age. And he had been trusted with safeguarding it. 

“I’ll say a few words”,He told them after a moment’s contemplation. “Will you now? Need me to add some science words into your speech?”They asked, brushing their hair out of their face. Erwin felt his mouth tug into a tight smile. 

“Let’s not confuse the poor audience too much. They might riot against us.”

“Like they’d have any chance. We’d crush them in an instant”,Hange said lightly. “Let’s keep the crushing outside our borders, shall we”,He retorted, walking towards the door. 

“Eh, all the same to me. There’s just as much to discover in here as there is out there”,Hange said behind him. For a moment Erwin paused, then a small grin crept up his lip. 

“Yes. I suppose I agree with you. Have a good day, Hange.”

“Sir.”

Levi sneered as he stepped into the bar. The wooden flooring was nearly invisible under a thick layer of muck, black streaking the walls. A layer of cigarette smoke hid the ceiling beams, tinted the windows yellow and made it hard to breathe. Yeah, the place was filthy. He could almost feel it sink into his clothes, sticking to his skin like he’d been rolled in it. Merde, he could already smell the way it’d continue to stink of smoke when he got outside. He searched for his contact in the crowd, mentally comparing the people he laid eyes on with the information Ghunter gave him. 

His eyes landed on a figure in the back, kicked back with a hat covering the face. For less than a second a memory pushed itself forward. He was quick to stomp it out. They weren’t even all that similar. The boots were too shiny for one. He would never have cleaned his boots, that much Levi knew. 

He slid into the chair opposite of the table, kicking one leg over the other.

“Something tells me you’re not here for the fine dining”,Levi said as an opener.

“What gave it away?”The other asked with a silky smooth voice. “So. You’re Ghunters friend”,She said, leaning forward slightly, tipping back the rim of their hat. Two narrow eyes showed themselves, a slim face, full lips that tugged up. There were wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, though they were small enough not to be noticeable.

“You’re shorter than I imagined”,She said while looking him over. 

“And you’re uglier. Get to the point”,Levi retorted, already feeling annoyed. 

“So hasty”,She scolded while playing with the collar of her shirt. Her fingers pulled and loosened the string, opening and closing the cloth hiding her skin.

“Every second you waste babbling gets me further away from where I need to be. Spill. What do you know about Mantis?”

The woman tutted her lips, her face pulling into mockingly serious,”Oh look at that, the detective’s getting impatient”,She said, twisting a strand of hair between her thumb and index finger. 

“Yeah, I am. So get the hell on with it”,Levi said with a steel expression. “Already? We haven’t even discussed my payment yet”,She said, glancing through her long eyelashes. She was finding new ways to get on his nerves with every word she said. Was it just the sound of her voice, or was it the way she said her words, slightly tilted and angular?

“Your payment is walking out of here without a pair of cops on your tail”,He told her, staring at her annoyingly confident expression. She chuckled, leaning back again while crossing her arms,“That’s not payment darling, that’s etiquette.”

“You know what, let’s go back to mine after this”,She started again, resting her chin on her fingers,”I’m sure we can figure something out more…privately.”

Levi felt his nose crinkle,”Pass. I’ve heard enough”,He said, moving to get up. His chair loudly screeched against the floor, shattering any illusion of mystery the woman had tried so hard to keep up.

“What? I still haven’t told you anything”,She said, her face immediately leaving its carefully measured expression behind in order to give him her fiercest scowl. “You’re just going to leave? What the hell are you playing at?”She asked. Now it was his turn to be confused. 

“Mantis”,He answered flatly, raising an eyebrow. She stared back, her mouth slightly opened.

“Really, that’s it? You’re not fucking with me?”

“If you have something to say, say it. Otherwise I’m leaving”,Levi told her, keeping his face expressionless. Hers, meanwhile, seemed to soften ever so slightly. She pulled the strings at her collar tight, covering the small triangle of skin. 

“Oh. In that case- Well, can’t say it’s not refreshing”,The woman said, chuckled lightly, then pulled off her hat and pushed her hair back. It coiled around her hands, making her face appear both clearer and longer. Levi sat back down, her eyes still cautiously following his movements. Like she couldn’t quite believe him, though that was alright. She didn’t need to trust him.

“Men don’t often pass up on me. I take it you’re…?”

“Yeah.”

“Ah. What was it you wanted to know? Mantis, right?”,She asked, now also dropping her silky voice. Thank fuck for that. 

“What it is, who’s in it. Where they are”,Levi said. 

The woman straightened up slightly, then tilted her eyes down,”That’s a tall order”,She said,”One I can’t satisfy, I’m afraid.” 

“Ghunter wouldn’t have sent you here if you didn’t know anything”,Levi told her, his hand tightening into a fist. Anything. He just needed to know something, no matter how small. Just one lead. 

“He’s right, I do know something. It’s just nothing useful to you, I don’t think. It was a couple years back that I was with a client. Strange type, but he paid me well. After I gave him the usual, the guy started crying. As in, real tears, you know. Not the kind those dipshits with wives and fancy jobs have so they feel better about themselves. They cry sometimes. This was different.”

“I was still young back then, new to the more emotional part of business. He freaked me out being entirely honest”,She reached into her pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. She struck a match on her sole, then sucked in a lungful of smoke. How someone could want that vile stench inside their body, Levi couldn’t tell. He’d been told it was pleasant, but the thought of those residuals in his lungs was enough to make him steer clear.

“He started talking. I could barely hear what he was saying, he was sobbing so loud, but I got something from it. That’s how I learned his daughter had gone missing a few weeks prior. Little girl, around nine years old. Cindy or Sheila or Tina, something like that”,She waited a few seconds, but when Levi didn’t react, she took another drag and went on talking.

”He’d been looking into the disappearance on his own. The cops had given up, said the case was doomed. You can imagine how that went over. He started digging for himself. It sounded like a real shitshow. He spent a few nights in jail for sticking his nose where it didn’t belong.” 

“Climbing over fences, threatening people to talk, that sort of thing. Think his wife might have snuck off on him. In truth I don’t think about that night too much, lots of people talk about anything. Anyway, he followed the trail here. He found out about Mantis, but I don’t know what else he knew. I just know he knew it existed”,She finished, then sucked in another lungful of smoke. 

She blew it out through her nose, the gray vapors twirling out her nostrils.

 Levi’s nose twitched as it drifted towards him. He fought the urge to swat it away, but did lean back. Crisse, it smelled.

“What’s his name?”He asked, keeping his eyes narrow. “You expect me to remember every man I fuck? It was over ten years ago, give me a break”,She chuckled. 

Levi’s teeth ground together,”Can you find out his name?”He asked through a tightly clenched jaw. 

“Maybe. If you give me a reason”,She said,”Why are you looking for Mantis?”

“What’s it to you?”He asked, his voice sharp. What was she playing at? He’d understood her earlier intent in stalling, or at least thought he did. 

“I don’t know that much, but I know there are things that shouldn’t be fucked with. If I’m going to be risking my head it better be for something good.”

Levi tilted his head, like he could see through whatever lie she was spinning from the right angle. There was no reason for her to care. Unless she had use for the information. Who would benefit from knowing what had led him to Mantis? The only thing that crossed his mind was a spy of some sort, though how they’d ended up with Ghunter and then him was more than impressive if that was the case.

Could she be? The answer to that was a resounding yes. Very easily as well. He’d played with tiny toy soldiers inside a prostitutes closet, he knew the sort of things that were shared over a late night appointment even if he hadn’t fully understood them. 

A lot of men turned out to be loose lipped if they thought the only person hearing them was a woman they’d paid to have. He suspected the same was true the other way around.

“It’s my job to pry”,Levi answered cautiously. 

“Then what are you prying for?”

“To find something”,He said. The woman huffed, then tilted her head, her long hair falling over her face. “That something doesn’t happen to be a little girl, does it?”She looked at his expression, perfect plump lips pulling into a smile,”Ah, it is. You think the Mantis bit another kid’s head off. You know, you could’ve just said so.”

“I don’t see what headbiting’s got to do with this”,Levi commented flatly, annoyed she had managed to guess correctly. Even more so his expression had helped her with it. His lack of expressive features was one of the few things he could always rely upon. It’d be a pain if his time time with Petra and the others was chipping away at that.

He’d have to be more careful from now on.

“But I was right, wasn’t I? How old? Fifteen? Fourteen? No, younger. Shit”,She said, rubbing the back of her neck. A pained expression flashed over her features, and when she spoke her words sounded like they had to be dragged out her mouth. 

“I’ll look into it. Can’t promise I’ll find anything. It’s been a hell of a long time since I dug through my records”,She pressed the end of her cigarette against the wall, then made a halfhearted attempt at wiping the stain. Disgusting. 

“Ghunter will contact you. Don’t get your hopes up. And tell him to bring his own condom next time. I ain’t letting him waste mine”,She said, pressing her hat back on her soft brown strands. Levi gave a curt nod.

He genuinely hoped she was sincere. If she were a spy Ymir could be killed for something like this. The discussion of tonight could bring him closer, but also further away from the girl than he’d ever been.

Ymir's fate was in the hands of strangers.

Levi had never known those to be very stable.

Erwin had been five years old when he had seen a tank for the first time. He had been dressed in a green romper, his mothers hand warm in his. 

“Look Erwin”,She had said, pointing as the huge machines rolled through their street. The soldiers marched in perfect harmony, trumpets and flags filling the sky. They looked untouchable, unshakeable. The strongest army in the world, he learned that before he learned what they meant. Erwin bounced on his heels, pointing at the weapons and uniforms in awe. His mother had chuckled fondly, and ran her fingers through his hair,“Look at the greatness of our army.”

Erwin had been seven when he heard the first rumble of a bomb fall in the distance. He had been playing with his friends, his socks pulled up to his knees and his shorts riddled with dirt. One of his friends asked if it was thunder. “No,”Erwin had said, his eyebrows knitted together,”It’s not cloudy enough.” 

Later, when they went back to the village, he was locked out of the kitchen for the first time while the adults talked. It had also been the day he had discovered just how useful an open window was, and the first time he had consciously listened in on conversations not meant for him.

Not long after, he’d feel what it was to have someone’s death on your shoulders. His father had been a good man. 

Erwin had failed to be a good son.

Erwin had been twelve when he had realized people did not like him very much. Was it because he talked funny, or because he dressed strange, or perhaps they could just smell it on him. 

He had been on a boat sailing across the ocean. By that time his mother spent most of her time in bed, waiting for news on a husband that had died years before. She had lost her faith. In her country, her husband, everything. Most of all her serious and narrow-minded son. Sometimes she prayed, and at those times it was almost like she was well again.

People watched him wherever he went, talked behind his back when they thought he didn’t hear. He always heard, of course. Perhaps that’d been the goal all along. He was young, and he did not know that the things he had grown up doing were not supposed to be done anymore.

“Just look at him. You can see it in his eyes”,One would say. “Or his voice! He’ll never speak proper English”,Another would answer. He learned of the horrors of his nation slowly, bit by bit. He had known it had been awful, and he had let it take his father. Though he had not known how badly it had been for the rest of them. How it would keep following him.

He sobbed on his mothers lap when other kids stole his fathers watch. It had been shiny and old, but he had treasured it anyway. He had fought to get it back, but it had been thrown overboard before he could recover it. He had watched it vanish, and he had cried. 

“Mama, I don’t understand. Why are they so mean to us?”He had sobbed. Her hand had stroked circles over his back, her voice had been soothing as she spoke, in that dreamy voice between sleep and sorrow. She held her cross in her free hand. She had devoted her life to her nation, and then it had betrayed her. There was only one thing left to fill the hole in her heart, and only a son to carry their blame.

”Because we are devils, my love, and we deserve it.”

It had taken practice, as it had taken time, but Erwin did not often speak German after that day. His voice lost the sound of home, his clothes were traded for the ones other boys overseas liked to wear. He learned how to walk like them, how to talk like them, and when the time came he learned to think like them as well.

He avoided anything that reminded him of where he came from, and he left that part of himself on the boat when they disembarked to meet his mothers new husband.

Erwin had been seventeen when he realized that for all his efforts, he still was not like the other boys. And now they could tell. He didn’t know what it was, yet they seemed all too keenly aware of all the ways he differed. Though now, it was something entirely else. Something he had nearly failed to take into consideration before. Once again, they whispered. Once again, he was cast out.

As if using a tool he’d been handling since infancy, he changed how he spoke, and how he dressed. He stopped smiling as freely as he once did. Stopped touching his friends when he wanted to. There was a boy, and there were his things, and they had to go.

He took a girl he didn’t like to prom, but they looked good together. And so it was worth it. It worked. The Erwin that graduated high school had been popular, beloved, and widely thought of as a good young man. Of the Erwin that had first stepped into that school was not spoken again. 

Somewhere along the line, that boy had been forced to retreat far and deep away, until there was nothing but the faint memory of a few displeasureable years in the back of Erwin's mind. 

They buried his mothers second husband, and they grieved the good man for weeks. As was expected, as was necessary. 

“Such a kind boy”,They whispered as he carried his fathers casket. 

“Such a good son.”

 He did not weep. He did not shed tears. He held his mothers shoulders as they shook, he wiped her tears as she grew increasingly sickly and withdrawn. It had been the second father he had to let go, and the second husband she had lost. His mother was weak. She loved, and she loved with her entire being. When that love died, all that was left was something ugly, something hollowed out and cruel.

“It’s our fault”,She once told him,”Devils like us did not deserve a good man like him, and now God has punished our greed.” Erwin had looked away, before taking her hand in his. It had been bony, too much so for a woman of her age. “May God bless his soul”,He had said in German. “As he will never bless ours”,His mother had continued, her gaze as always torn between pride and hatred.

Erwin had been twenty-three when he was supposed to be on monitor duty. The boat had been a place of dozens of beeps, of hundreds of tiny glowing lights among the metal. It had been cramped, and it had smelled, and he had shared a room with more spiders than he could count. It had been a pathway to freedom, to seeing new shores. A new life cloaked in darkness and oily grime. 

“Are you sure it’s okay?”The voice in the closet had asked. “Yes. I’m sure”,Erwin had answered, leaning down to press another row of kisses on the other's neck. It had been new, and all too familiar. A slip in the night, a vulnerable moment in his character. All of that that was supposed to be buried touched his mind, and it was freedom. Strong calloused hands wrapped around his waist, sunk under his jacket, played with the bottom of shirt. Firework sparked in his stomach. Somewhere deep down, the boy that had been lost reared his head. It had felt wrong. It had been wrong. It had been a sin in the eyes of both the law and God. 

And for one singular night, Erwin did not care. 

He had kissed a woman once. 

He found kissing a man was much more satisfying.

It had been wrong.

Forgive me Father.

Erwin had been twenty-three when he woke up in a hospital. His right leg was wrapped in bandages, half of his body feeling as it would burst from his bones at the slightest touch. 

“My arm”,He had rasped, his voice hoarse from disuse and smoke. He had been on monitor duty. He had left his station.

“It’s gone”,The nurse told him. “It blew up.”

He had been forced to resign a week later, the papers delivered straight to his hospital bed. 

“And the man I was with?”He had been afraid to ask, yet he heard himself say the words anyway.

“He didn’t make it”,The nurse had told him, her voice heavy but firm all the same. He was not family, he was not a wife, he had no reason to grieve the man beyond a friend. 

“May God bless his soul.”

Levi had only just grown tall enough to open the door by himself when his mothers teeth started falling out. At first he hadn’t noticed, he had been too small. Then the gaps between her steadily yellowing teeth started widening. She told him she was fine. She told him it was just a sickness. And he, stupid and childish as he was, believed her. She would take him on her lap, and rock him in such a way he couldn’t see her face. 

She started having her appointments in the dark. Levi got a small gas lantern to keep in the closet with him. As long as he stayed quiet. As long as nobody knew he was there. At night she’d sing to him, tell him stories of metal towers and grapevines as far as the eye could see. She taught him how to speak her language, and how to count numbers. It became harder to understand the more her teeth loosened.

“Sur le pont d'avignon”,She’d sing. He’d clap his hands in the same rhythm, trying to replicate the words. His voice had been nowhere near as good as hers, but she didn’t mind him trying to sing along. “l'on y danse, l'on y danse.”

“L’on y danse tous en rond.”

He didn’t remember the day she died. He did remember all the days after. How the smell had spread. How the sheets had grown damp, then dried spotted and stained. How quickly his mother turned cold. It didn’t take nearly as long as he had imagined, his mother having gone icy cold to the touch within a day. He had shivered under the tight skin of her arms, had burrowed in the bony hollow of her stomach. By the time someone remembered Kuchel and her son existed, he was as thin as she was, almost a week dead.

Levi had just learned how to properly grip a knife when Kenny first sent him out to get dinner for both of them. His arms had grown a little firmer, his hair had been cut to a more respectable length. He could count five ribs. His mothers old dress, which he’d worn for most of his childhood, had been cut into strips. A few were sacrificed to keep the fire going. A few he had saved, sewed the edges neat and hidden underneath the windowsill of Kenny’s apartment.

He had wandered the streets alone, had dug through the trash cans outside stores. He’d found nothing but grime and rot. It had taken him ages to get his hands clean again. He had returned home empty handed. 

Kenny hadn’t liked that. He’d been thrown out the door without much fanfare, and told not to come back before he’d found something edible, given him a slap around his ears for good measure.

Levi returned the next evening, purple blotches colouring his stomach and face. He was carrying a roasted chicken and half a loaf of bread. The pain of chewing had been a small price to pay for a full stomach and Kenny’s hand slapping his shoulder in approval.

Levi had been on his own for two days when he first met Farlan. The boy had been cocky, and honest, and beyond terrified. Levi had stolen his shoes that day. They had been too large, his feet had been slipping around aimlessly. He had fixed it by stuffing newspaper around his toes and heels.

Farlan had come to trade them back, bringing with him a jacket that still had a tie in the pocket. Levi had accepted the trade. The tie had been white. It was nice, good to run his fingers over. 

He met Farlan a few times after that. Every time the boy had had something to offer, and every time Levi begrudgingly accepted the trade. He began to look forward to seeing the blonde boy, began to collect things he shouldn’t just in case the other would like it. A glove. A marble. The bottom of a comic strip. Neither of them had known what it had said, but the drawings had made them laugh all the same.

They had been together when they were approached by a tall man in a hat. They had been offered food, water, a place to sleep. All they had to do was listen and keep quiet. Levi had wanted to decline. It had sounded too good to be true, had all the makings of a trap. People didn’t just offer you stuff unless they wanted something. But Farlan had agreed, and so they had both gone home with the strange man. He had given them a bed, and food, and more the sight of more blood than they could fathom.

For the first time, he could only count three ribs. 

Levi had gotten drunk for the first time the night he took his first life. It had been for the greater good, he’d been told. He had performed well, they said. He’d been quick and quiet, the knife cutting through flesh like it had been butter. He had thrown up until his stomach cramped empty, had woken in a start that night as he recalled the feeling of someone else's blood on his shirt. The man’s eyes followed him wherever he went. But it had been worth it, because it had meant he and Farlan were safe, and they were allowed to stay. 

The second had followed a few months after.

The third a little after that. 

By the fourth, he stopped throwing up afterwards. The eyes never quite stopped following him. He simply had to close his eyes to see them. Bloodshot whites. Penny-round rings of colour, pins of black that darted around before going slack. 

They didn’t ask why, they didn’t ask him to stop. Instead they talked about their families, their dogs, their kids if they had them. It didn’t make a difference, of course it didn’t. He had a job to do, and if the pig he was sent to slaughter had piglets waiting at home, well that was too bad for them.

Levi had wanted out for a long time when Isabel showed up. She had been young and brash, hot headed and humorous, and had wasted no time in attaching herself to him and Farlan. He saw her as she danced through the gutter, how she threw bones at strays and smiled at pigeons. She didn’t belong there, as much as a daisy didn’t belong in a junkyard. He had wanted out before. He knew he couldn’t leave now. He was strong, and he was fast, and they were his to look after. 

Isabel used his hair to practice braiding, Farlan kept food set aside for him when he got an assignment late. He intimidated when it was asked of him, he put down the dogs that were too dangerous to let walk free. Stohess was a city of luxury and wealth, and its underground was thriving in the corners the wealthy didn’t dare to look. And Levi, Levi fit in it like a cog in a clock. 

Levi’s hands were stained red when he was caught. He didn’t fight the hands that pushed him to the ground, didn’t run from the barrels of their guns as they pointed at him. Somewhere in the back of his head he knew he should, but he didn’t. His brain was paralysed, his fear something dull and distant. He hardly felt it.

Other gang members were being held down and taken alongside him, but for as far as he cared they didn’t exist. 

It hadn’t been a rival gang member that had bled out at his feet. It had been a message. A power play. A face that looked as fresh and young as rain. It had been necessary. It had been for the greater good. His hands had been coated in the other's blood. His cell hadn’t had a sink. The blood had dried in the wrinkles of his hand and under his nails. He’d taken pictures with a sign that labelled him “John Doe”, his fingers still freckled with dried blood. He couldn’t rub it off without water. They looked like real freckles. Natural. They suited him.

He would have gone to prison. He would have never seen the sky again. Found as a nobody, trailed for as many murders as they could find. “He’s a monster”,Someone who’d refilled his glass countless times pointed. Levi hadn’t denied it. He just hoped Farlan and Isabel could find a way to be safe.

The break out had been messy. There had been gunshots in the distance. Then gunshots inside. Then the guy guarding their cell had been blown to pieces. The door opened, and they had fled. Or they had tried. A stray bullet bounced around the building. It was unfortunate enough to hit the gas pipe. Unfortunately, the building caught fire. 

Unfortunately, Levi had been thought to still be inside. 

Unfortunately, he wasn’t.

“Hey”,A voice had spoken, waking him up from a light and restless sleep. He had blinked an eye open, slowly looking up. A woman with soft red curls stood before him, wearing a pair of slacks under an ill-fitting coat. She looked like she’d raided her fathers closet, or her brothers. In hindsight she probably did. “What?”He’d asked, his voice hoarse. 

“You’re kind of blocking my way. That’s my doorstep you’re sleeping on”,She said, clutching a bulky suitcase in her hand. She smiled apologetically, tilting her head.

“Am I? That sucks”,He had mumbled in turn, turning his eyes back down. 

“I’d appreciate it if you’d move”,She continued. “And I’d appreciate a good night’s sleep and a warm breakfast. So I guess we’re both disappointed”,He answered flatly. 

“Well, I don’t know about a good night’s sleep, but I can get you hot breakfast. If you get out the way that is”,She said. This got Levi’s attention. He looked up again, frowning. His stomach was practically jumping at the chance for a proper meal. He hadn’t exactly gone hungry, but there was a difference between a soggy sandwich and hot beans on bread. 

“I don’t need your pity”,He said, but he stood up anyway. 

“I’m not offering it”,She answered brightly, twisting her key in the lock. He went in with the promise of food and warmth. He left with the number of her firm and a five dollar bill. 

The woman's name turned out to be Petra, she said while unloading her typewriter. It was a big thing, bulky and of an older model. She told him what she did while he scarfed down his meal, a can of hot beans with two boiled eggs. She was a private investigator, she told him. 

Her colleagues weren’t coming in today, it was supposed to be their day off, but she had been working on a case and didn’t want to waste any time. Maybe he’d heard of it. 

He had. 

“Why should I tell you anything?”He’d asked, scraping the tomato sauce off the sides of the can. “Because you’ll be helping someone. That’s all we’re looking to do here: Help the people who can’t help themselves.”

It had sounded naive. Sentimental. It went against everything he knew about the world and how it functioned. And yet he didn’t doubt her for a second.

He’d told her everything he knew. 

He’d gone home to Isabel and Farlan that day, looking over his shoulder the entire journey there. There were eyes everywhere, he’d just gained the freedom of death and he wasn’t looking to lose it yet. To say they were surprised to see him would be an understatement. 

He went back to Petra the next day.

He didn’t ask for a job, no, Levi didn’t beg for favors. 

He had been offered one anyway. 

And after very nearly breaking the wrist of a man with shaggy blond hair that had leaned down to sniff him, he had warily accepted. 

He started immediately.

Erwin didn’t come down to the archives often. It was a place filled with carefully maintained papers, housing dozens of reports and bills. The index was a nightmare to work with, the dim shine of the lamps nothing if not headache inducing. He had made a habit of not coming down himself, instead sending spare assistants and the like whenever something needed to be added or borrowed. 

He added his name to the log, then pushed the heavy door open. 

“Ah, Moblit”,He said as he laid eyes on the man. Moblit, painted in shadows, popped out behind a bookcase. “Yes?”He asked, in his hands a box with a faded dated label. 

“I thought I might find you here. It seems you have found quite a calling here. Not that this place can’t use it”,Erwin said as he tried to make out the letters. “The older ones really need to be replaced. I’ve been working at combing through the collection, but it’s a process. Some boxes are missing dates, others are unreadable, really, it’s just a mess”,Moblit said as he angled the box for him to inspect. The faded letters were all but invisible in the light, shining with a bleak sheer. 

“I can imagine”,Erwin replied. “Moblit, I have a favor to ask.”

Moblit nodded, putting the box down on a small dusty table. “If this is about my attendance in the lab, I promise-”

“No, it’s not that. Although I’m sure Hange would appreciate the additional hands. No, I want you to prepare a final statement about the history of Radium. Our western branch is working on a presentation on the topic, but there’s nobody I trust more with historical records than you.” 

Moblit’s eyes widened, and Erwin could almost see his hairs spike up,”Me?”

Erwin nodded, unbothered by the man’s apparent shock. “Yes, you. I trust you will handle this case with the sensitivity it deserves.”

Assigning it to Moblit could backfire, if he didn’t get a handle on himself. Which Erwin thought him more than capable of doing. More importantly, Moblit was empathetic and he was honest. The file on Radium was delicate, laced with scandals and the suffering of the working people. 

Anyone else might feel the need to cover those up, but it was essential they were mentioned. Mentioned, and drawing enough attention to make a possible audience turn against whoever allowed the close contact with the material. It was hard to stay impartial with matters such as this one. Swaying the audience shouldn’t be all that difficult.

If Moblit could get over his quiet nature, that was. 

It would certainly be interesting to watch unfold.

“That was all. Thank you, I’ll look forward to hearing you speak”,Erwin said. Moblit nodded, his jaw tightly clenched and his eyes suddenly looking very wet. Erwin would feel for him, but he was confident Moblit would rise up to the task. He signed his name again on his way out. His eyes wandered over the list of names. Moblit’s name made out the bulk of the list, only ever interrupted by the odd assistant every now and again. He was about to put it down when a name jumped out at him. “Moblit”,He asked, his thick eyebrows pulling together. “When has Hange visited the archives?”

Moblit looked up, a black marker cap between his teeth. He spat it out, then answered,”Last week I think. They were looking for something having to do with the research. I thought it was odd, but they didn’t damage anything, so. I didn’t think much of it. Why?” 

“It’s nothing. I just didn’t expect it, that’s all”,Erwin said. He glanced at the archive numbers they’d handled, but they didn’t stand out to him. 

“Good day, Moblit”,He said as he let it go, pushing the door open. “You too sir. Good day.”

Rose’s hair was soft and silky under Maria’s hands. It was a pale blonde, paler than her own. It had come up to her shoulders when she first gotten here, but now it reached halfway down Rose’s narrow back. Maria’s bangs had also grown out, now long enough to tuck behind her ears instead of letting them hang over her eyes. She parted the younger girls' hair in three, making sure they were equal in size. 

Rose quietly played with a doll she’d made out of a spare towel. She didn’t make any sound, but Maria felt her head nod along to words she wasn’t saying out loud. She started braiding, making sure not to pull too tightly. Rose’s skin was sensitive nowadays. And so was Maria’s, but it wasn’t her hair being braided. 

Up, and under, and up, and under. 

She worked her way down, letting go and detangled whenever she made a mistake. Rose’s hair was thin, and so the braid was thin as well. And up, and under. 

The door opened. The men in the white suits with the masks came in again. Maria sighed, then stood up. She had hoped she would have a few more days. 

Only they did not come for her. 

One of them grabbed Rose’s arm, pulling the smaller girl up. A red rash covered the entire limb, dark with barely healed blisters running over the skin. 

“She’s not ready yet”,Maria protested as Rose cried in pain. The men didn’t seem to listen to her, instead yanking harder as Rose was too slow to stand up. 

“What are you doing? Stop that. She’s not ready!”,Maria gasped as Rose’s skin effortlessly tore, like it was nothing but paper covering a writhing mess of pink flesh. For a moment she was frozen, but then Rose cried again, a sound that broke her heart into a million pieces. “Stop! Stop!”,She yelled, running at the man holding Rose. Her own arms were also red, were also bumpy, but she hardly felt it as she banged her fists. It didn’t matter if she was hurt, she wasn’t important anyway. There was one person who mattered, one who had been normal and kind and real. 

“Let her go! You hear me? Let her go!”

Rose’s tears mixed with blood, her whines drowning with Maria’s shouts. The skin on Maria’s fists tore, but she didn’t stop. She couldn’t stop, not when Rose depended on her. “I said let he-”

The elbow came out of nowhere. It banged against her head, so hard Maria saw stars. She took a step back. Somehow, back turned into the floor. Her head fell like a rock, her vision clouding over. She could barely hear Rose’s frantic cries, or see the way the girl was raised into the air like she was nothing more than a ragdoll. 

“You can’t take her”,She whispered as everything turned black. Her throat seemed to close up, the smell of blood filling her nose and mouth. What she said was much less of an order, and more so a wish. For someone, anyway, to come save them,“You can’t…Can’t take her.”

When she woke up Rose was gone.

And she didn’t come back again.

Chapter Text

“Here’s what we know”,Petra said as she hung Ymir's picture back on the old drywall. She had her hair tied up in a short ponytail, the strands sticking out in all directions. Her shirt had the top button loose, the sleeves rolled up to her elbows. She gave off the impression that she hadn’t slept in days. Levi could relate. 

Farlan trashed like a maniac lately. You’d think a giant nasty infected wound would make someone lay still, but nope. He was almost jealous of Isabel, who’d work until the small hours most nights to keep everything afloat. 

Then he got mad at himself for daring to think something like that. They didn’t deserve her, neither of them.

“Ymir went missing on March 20th, between the hours of 3pm and 4pm. She stepped into a vehicle, belonging to a kidnapping and trafficking ring. This was discovered by Levi, and verified by me and Oruo”,Petra said, pointing at some of Oruo’s photographs and her own sketches. 

“Her foster parents, who my contact at the bank managed to track down for me, confirmed they allowed her to be taken. They agreed to share this information, but wish to remain anonymous and left out of the report we’ll share with the police.”

“To hell with that”,Oruo snorted from his usual spot near the window. His leg twitched, a nervous tic he never really bothered to hide. 

“Indeed, to hell with that”,Petra agreed. “They will be named and their wrongdoings will be accounted for”,She said serenely, closing her eyes momentarily as she spoke. 

“Damn right”,Mike grumbled with his arms crossed. Levi had expected the knot in his chest to loosen, but all he felt was disgust. He didn’t want to meet these people, let alone spend time thinking about them. It’d be nice to see them shipped off to jail, but that sort of punishment was  always too little too late. They’d been living free people while the girl entrusted to their care was stuck who fucking knows where.   

“Anyway. She was taken to an unknown location. Mike narrowed it down to the southern district, but we still don’t know the exact address. Allegedly, she was then taken by a group who call themselves Mantis. Their existence has been confirmed. Levi has since found a contact who might offer more information on the group and their whereabouts. However, he failed to find one within a 1000 mile radius.” 

Levi didn’t flinch, instead cocking his head lightly,”Would you rather have no contact?”

“I’d rather be sure before we make a several day journey for a guy we’re not even sure exists”,Petra responded, scratching the underside of her ponytail. “He’s real”,Levi insisted. 

“Yeah, according to a hooker. No offence, but I don’t think they’re the most reliable sources around”,Oruo said while holding his hands up. Levi ‘tch-ed’, a flare of justified annoyance rising in his chest,”She’s telling the truth.” 

“And you’re so certain because…?”

“Because she just is”,He snapped, raising his head from the wall he’d been leaning against. 

“Okay, hold your horses”,Mike stepped in, in that aggravatingly calm and rational tone. It’s insulting, that’s what it is. 

“You don’t get to doubt me or my sources. Don’t ask, that was the deal”,Levi reminded them before falling back. 

“I’m hesitant too”,Petra spoke up. She raised a hand when Levi shot her a glare.

“Yes, I know, you haven’t really been wrong before. But you have to admit this is a long shot, even for us.”

“So?”Levi asked with a shrug. 

“Nanaba had been worried about us going bankrupt. And, Levi, if we chase this lead all the way she might have been right”,Petra said as she chewed her lip. Levi was about to remind her that Nanaba wasn’t here, so it didn’t matter what her opinion might be, when Mike spoke up again,“The gas alone will be pricey”,He commented, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Shame the trains don’t go that far.”

“You’re talking like you want to go”,Oruo commented. For a moment Mike didn’t answer, and just stared at the floor. “Well”,He finally said in a slow voice,”I don’t exactly want it. But we did promise to find the girl, and we’re not finding anything useful here”,Mike gave the others a tentative glance. 

“You can’t be serious”,Petra groaned as she rested her knuckles against her forehead.

“I want to find her as much as all of us, but come on. We don’t even know this guy exists. He might not even be alive anymore. He could have moved someplace else, I mean, who in their right mind stays in the house their daughter disappeared from?”

“It’s not unheard of”,Mike retorted. “But that’s not what this is about, is it? You don’t care if the guy’s there or not.”

“Careful Zacharius. I promise you that’s all I care about.”

“Alright”,Mike answered quickly. Too quickly.

“What else would there be to care about?”

“No, you’re right, it’s fine.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh shit”,Levi breathed, but the two ignored him, resuming a childish squabble. “Merde, you fucking children. You two are supposed to be the adults here.”

Oruo motioned for him to shut up, but Levi was too annoyed to pay the man any mind. 

“This isn’t a game or something, it’s her life”,He said, then slunk back to his spot against the wall. “I’m tired of being the only one thinking of that”,He muttered sourly. 

“If it was up to me I’d drive us there myself”,Mike told him. “But Nanaba’s more against this than Petra, and I’m not setting foot in Oruo’s car if I can help it.”

“What’s wrong with my car?”Oruo protested. “It’s a pig sty, that’s what”,Mike replied gruffly.

“At least I have one”,Oruo spat back, all hackles raised. “Alright enough! We’ve strayed far enough”,Petra clapped her hand together, making everyone’s head snap towards her. “So we’re two for two, correct?”She asked, looking at all of their faces. 

Levi looked from Mike to Oruo to Petra again, spotting similar expressions of wary worry. “Right. Okay”,She massaged her forehead with the back of her hands, pushes her eyebrows together. For a moment Levi almost pities her. Almost. The softness of her curls comes from shampoo and conditioner. Her clothes were bought with her own money. Every night she went home, and she went home to her father who loved and cherished her.

He didn’t resent her for those things. 

He did fear them, just slightly. 

“Fine. Fine, we’ll go”,She finally relented. “Pet, come on”,Oruo said, spreading his arms wide. He looked pitiful. “You can stay here. It’ll keep the cost down”,Petra told him, thoughtfully looking out the window. 

“What?”

“I said, you’ll stay here. Try to get Nanaba to hold the fort with you, she might agree if you tell her it’s got nothing to do with the case”,Petra said in a decisive tone of voice, one that made it clear this wasn’t and wouldn’t be up for debate.

“But- Pet, we’re a team! We stick together, remember?”Oruo tried weakly. 

“So you’re coming?”Petra asked with her eyebrows raised. 

Silence. 

“Right, so that’s settled”,She said, giving Mike and Levi a tired grin. “Happy?”

“Yup”,Mike answered flatly. Levi just scowled.

Buttons were the tool of the devil. Most of the time, Erwin could get away with leaving his shirt mostly unbuttoned, as long as he layered a vest over it and straightened out his collar. Today was not one of those days. He ground his teeth together as he attempted to hold the two sides of his shirt together one handed, without creasing the fabric. The buttons protested his guidance, slipping through his fingers instead of the fabric. 

“God-”He cursed quietly, throwing a glance at the clock. He’d cut out more time than usual to get dressed, anticipating some sort of struggle, but this was getting ridiculous. 

“-Dammit”,He said, undoing the two meager buttons he’d managed so far. Alright, time for plan B. Erwin pulled at his clothing drawer, blinked at the mess staring back at him, then gathered his courage and dove into the heap of clothing he’d thrown in there for one reason or another. His work clothes and neat shirts he usually kept separate. 

This would have to be a leap into the unknown. Over or under, there was no clean middle way. Hange’s screechy tires sounded outside his bedroom window. He stared at the item of clothing with a feeling of dread pooling in his stomach, but there was no time to find something better. 

He pulled the tight green turtleneck over his head, stuck his arms through the sleeves of a brown jacket, one that had once belonged to his father but was still in good shape, then quickly hurried down the stairs. Hange honked outside, slow at first, then speeding up like they were impatient. 

“I’m coming, I’m coming”,Erwin muttered to nobody in particular as he slipped into his shoes before slamming the door behind him. He took the two seconds to lock it, gestured at Hange to stop honking, which they ignored, then hurriedly went to open the car door. 

“Hange, it’s a weeknight”,Erwin said,”Think of the children.” Hange pouted, then honked one last time. 

“Ah, it’s not even eight yet. Those babies can handle it”,They said, slamming their foot down as soon as the car door closed. Erwin rushed to click his seatbelt in place, pressed deep into the seat of Hange’s car as they steadily rose over the speed limit. He caught a glimpse of something on the backseat. After securing the clasp of his seatbelt he took a closer look. It was a box, seemingly glass, with a white lab coat covering it up. He could barely make out a layer of paper confetti in a bottom corner, but that was it. 

“Have you prepared a demonstration?”He asked while straightening in his seat. The road seemed to speed by at a dangerous velocity. 

“Something like that”,Hange grinned,”It’s going to blow everyone’s mind, you’ll see.”

“I don’t doubt it”,Erwin assured them.

The event was in the only venue they could afford short notice, although the government stamp on the request tended to help. It was rather small, with a low ceiling and brown brick walls, a concrete tiled floor and warm orange lights. 

The parking lot was still mostly empty, another mercy on Hange’s skill. Hange grabbed their mysterious glass terrarium, quickly covering it up when they saw Erwin looking. “It’s a surprise”,They said, leaning forward with a wide grin on their features. 

“Ah. I see. Don’t keep us in suspense too long”,He told them while straightening out his jacket. The stiff fabric rubbed against his fingers, a small cloud of dust flying out underneath his palm.

Hange was dressed in a manner suitable for their person, a rusty orange suit with a bright patterned lining, which was on full display due to their unbuttoned jacket. Their shirt had frills on the end of the cuffs and at the collar, popping out of their sleeves in a way that reminded Erwin more of a jester than a scientist. 

They were impossible to overlook, but not in a negative way. They were the quasi star of the evening after all, the head scientist at the central facility, leading the best funded and potentially influential research. They deserved the spotlight for as long as they could get it. It might even end up being the main thing saving them from disaster. 

Their hair was tied back with a striped ribbon, though that was as far as they’d gone in that department. It was still wild and unruly, overly shiny and falling over the back of their head in all directions.

In comparison he might have looked boring, he thought. Beige slacks, a turtleneck and simple jacket were hardly reinventing the wheel. They also weren’t entirely warm. He stuck his hand inside his pocket in an effort to keep it from freezing entirely. He and Hange went in side by side, and Erwin was relieved to feel a rush of hot air over his face. 

“Ah, that’s better”,Hange said, rolling their head back and stretching their neck. Something in their box rattled, and they patted its side reassuringly. An animal? Erwin hoped not. Animals were to be studied from a distance, not presented to a room full of people. 

“There should be rooms in the back where you can prepare”,He told them, watching as the room’s final details were meticulously attended to. Someone taped a cross on the low stage, a marking for the best light if Erwin had to guess. Another was unfolding extra chairs, and yet another was carrying them to the right tables. They seemed to be doing all right by themselves, so Erwin didn’t feel that guilty when he claimed a table and chair near the back and went over his notes.

He slid his hand out his pocket, then searched his other for a pen. Something else came out when he pulled it back. He caught it just before it could hit the ground, something round and heavy with strings attached. His eyes widened slightly when he recognised the familiar shade of green, the golden caps on the end of the rope. How often had he seen it hang from his fathers neck? How often had he wondered where it had gone, had he asked his mother if she’d had seen it?

To think it was in his closet all along- the irony wasn’t lost on him. He didn’t think for long, instead quickly looping it around his neck and pulling it to a suitable length. It rested heavily on his chest, but it was a pleasant sort of heavy, as if someone was lightly leaning on him, and he welcomed it.

Hange came to find him not long after, bringing with them a stack of paper. “Oooh, fancy”,They said while pricking a finger at his chest. “Where’d you been hiding that?”

“Just my pocket”,Erwin said without looking up. Just his father’s old dusty pocket.

Levi stuffed his last pair of clean socks into the satchel, the cloth sack about halfway filled. “Keep it clean”,He reminded Isabel, who’d offered to help him pack. Farlan was propped against the wall, his head tilted back and his eyes closed. He snored. 

The infection was doing numbers on him, even with the bottle of antibiotics Levi had managed to get his hands on. When he wasn’t sleeping he was yawning, and when he slept it was light and he’d wake up at random. Levi had been woken up a few times on the nights he’d been home, and every time he’d stared straight into feverish glossy eyes. It looked freaky as hell. And it took way too much effort to get the guy to lay back down and go to sleep. 

“Yeah, I know. Keep it clean, two pills every day, make sure he eats his greens”,The girl listed, counting on her fingers. Her eyes also had purple bags under them, but she still managed to put on a wide smile. It wasn’t as happy as he’d like, but she was trying her best. He didn’t really want to leave her to juggle everything all by herself. It would be a lot for anyone, let alone a kid her age. 

Ideally she should be worried about things like school and friends and whatever other drama other kids came up with. Instead she’d be wiping away pus and dirt of an infected mess while trying to get food for two people on the table. 

“And if something goes wrong?”

“I call your friend”,Isabel said. Levi gave a curt nod, shaking the satchel’s content down. As much as he hated being indebted to Oruo of all people, he didn’t have much choice. They needed an out if things turned really ugly, and Levi didn’t take the man for that big of an ass he’d turn them away.

Not if they said they were his friends. He’d be annoying about it, but that was normal, and he’d warned Isabel about it. 

He ruffled her hair, then pulled at a string, closing the bag. 

“Stop that, I just washed it”,She protested, quickly smoothing out her bangs. It didn’t help, they immediately spiked back up, pointing in all directions but the one she intended. “Bro- You’re bringing back souvenirs, right?”She asked, giving up on her hair. It was still wild, a bird’s nest of deep red.  

“I wasn’t planning on it”,He replied flatly, slinging the satchel over his shoulder. 

“You’ll be gone forever”,Isabel reminded him, her eyebrows sinking into a pleading frown,”The least you could do is get us a souvenir.”

“Two weeks is hardly forever. And if it does turn out a bust we’ll be back even sooner”,Levi said, kneeling down before Farlan. A thin trail of drool was leaking out the man’s mouth. Disgusting. 

“It so is. You’ve never left us that long before”,Isabel said.

 Levi wiped the drool away, then considered knocking Farlan awake. It’d be a while before they’d see each other again. To disappear on him was nothing short of a dick move. But Farlan had been sleeping so badly lately. He could use the uninterrupted rest. Fuck knows it’d only help in the long run.

“Yeah I have”,Levi answered, rising to his full length. He’d talk to Farlan when he’d get back, he decided. It wasn’t like they were going anywhere. Things were stable for the most part, and it wasn’t like he could be much help even if he was here.

“Not like this”,Isabel said while crossing her arms.

“Right, this time you know I’m alive. If anything that should be a positive”,Levi replied, leaving Farlan to sleep in silence.

Isabel followed him out, nearly stepped on his heels as she walked. “But now you’re choosing to leave, so that’s worse”,She pointed out, skipping on her heels to end up before him. He stopped, forced to stare into her large puppy-ish eyes. They were unbelievably round. 

“I’m not leaving for long”,He said, before those big sad eyes had a chance of changing his mind. What kind of person would he be if he did?

“I’ll be back before you know it, promise”,He said, his throat drier than usual. He glanced away, and so did she. Neither of them was good at saying goodbyes.  

“Okay. Don’t forget the souvenir, yeah?”Isabel asked quietly. 

“Fine”,Levi replied with an exaggerated eyeroll. He knew she’d find it funny, as much as she knew he didn’t mean it. 

For a moment her arms wrapped around him, her head bumping against his shoulder. It was gone before he knew it, a hug so brief it barely had time to register. She was already on her feet by the time he thought to return it. 

“Stay safe out there big brother. We still need you here.”

Levi dumped his bag in the trunk of Petra’s car. It shared the space with both Petra’s and Mike’s luggage, seeming twice as meager by comparison. He wondered how much stuff a normal person needed for this sort of thing. There was no way someone needed a full suitcase for just two weeks. 

But whatever, if they wanted to drag extra baggage around that was up to them. He pulled the trunk down, waiting for the satisfying click of the lock to let go. 

Petra was stretching a small distance away. She wore shorts and a t-shirt, despite the cold. She also didn’t make any move for the car yet.

“I’m about to be sitting for over two days”,She had said when he’d made a comment earlier,”The least I could do is move while I still can.” 

Mike meanwhile leaned over the hood of the car, checking over the route he’d marked on what Levi found to be a ridiculously oversized map. He’d been told it had to do with the distance and surface they had to cover, but it still seemed enormous to him. 

“Everything’s looking okay”,Mike muttered when he noticed Levi approaching. “I think we’ll manage to make the motel before nightfall. No promises though.”

“I’ll put some speed in it, if we need it. I’m not sleeping in a car”,Petra said, stretching her arms above her head and moving them left to right. She could teach Isabel a thing or two, he thought. The kid was strong, and smart, but there were things she struggled with he couldn’t solve. He wasn’t used to fighting opponents stronger than him, and that was all she dealt with. Not that he thought Petra ever fought someone in her life.

Petra caught him looking, and quickly turned bright red.

“What’s that say?”Levi asked, pointedly looking away while pricking a finger at a big word, one that had a near straight line connecting it to their location. Mike glanced up, then turned back to his map. 

“That’s Shigansina. We’ll be passing it sometime tomorrow. I know the trains between here and there are decent enough, but they don’t go past”,Mike told them. 

“How long would it take by train?”Levi asked with a frown. He’d only seen a handful of trains in his life, and they’d always gone by so fast it’d been hard to get a good look at it.

“To Shiganshina would be, eh around a day, give or take”,Mike answered while shaking his pen,“I usually travel at night if I need to be there. Makes it feel shorter.”

The man folded his map, giving a satisfied nod,”I think that about covers it. I’m good to go”,Mike announced. 

Petra gave a nod of acknowledgement, bouncing on her toes before falling still. 

“Better get going then”,She said. 

Petra drove like usual, slipping into the driver's seat with a sigh,”Welcome stiff legs and bad music, goodbye freedom”,She said sadly. 

Mike took Oruo’s place in the front, the map partially folded to show the immediate route. Levi meanwhile opened the backseat, just to find it covered in tupperware containers. 

“You can just shove those aside”,Petra told him when he didn’t get in. “They’re travel snacks! Apple slices, sandwiches, some sweets. Water, tea and juice are in the box over there”,She said, her eyes a brown flash in the rear mirror. Levi felt his jaw tighten, then pushed the containers aside. It looked like more food than he had in his kitchen at home.

He strapped his seatbelt on, kicked his feet under Mike’s chair, and tried his best to ignore the heap of food that had so carelessly been discarded. Not discarded, he had to correct himself.

Just saved for later.

Because that was what you did if you had too much food. 

His plan for the trip had been to sit quietly and look out the window, make the days pass by without trouble. There wasn’t a lot he could do, and Mike might have been happy enough to indulge Petra’s music choices or give one word answers to her I-spy questions, but Levi sure wasn’t.

They’d only just left the city behind him when his plan was interrupted. How or why it happened he wasn’t sure, but somehow he found himself constantly handling the plastic tubs and bottles. Apple slices, water, tiny chocolate balls with nuts in the middle.

It was like they’d unanimously decided that whoever took the back seat was in charge of handing out snacks. Levi just happened to be the unlucky bastard. 

Wrong time, wrong place. Wrong choice. He ground his teeth together when Mike asked for water not even ten minutes after handing it back. 

“There’s a tray over there for a reason”,Levi grumbled as he handed it back. “Is there? Hadn’t noticed”,Mike answered. He rummaged around for a bit before saying:”Well I’ll be damned. Nana’s car is not as fancy as this.”

“Yeah, it’s a real gem”,Levi deadpanned,”So make use of it.”

They didn’t bother him as much after that. That was a relief.

They drove until midday, the other vehicles speeding past Petra’s cherry red car. They ate at a greasy table in a diner, a place where Levi tried as hard as possible not to touch anything. The plates stuck to the table in a way that made his stomach turn, his shoes making an awful sucking noise when he raised them. For once he didn’t hesitate in choosing a table with higher chairs, letting only the tips of his shoes touch the floor.

He took great care in washing his hands when they were done, not wanting the grease to follow him any further than the door. Mike found him very funny. 

They stopped again a while after the sun went down, this time parking at a yellow bricked motel with two blown out bulbs in the neon pink hotel sign.

The rest of them were bright pink and blinking. Levi assumed they spelled the motel's name, but he didn’t care enough to ask. 

“I’ll go see if they have any rooms left”,Petra said, walking a lap around the car to stretch her legs. “You guys get your stuff for tonight. And if someone could bring my bag inside as well, that’d be great”,She told them, her face hot pink under the light. 

“Yes ma’am”,Mike replied with a stoic expression, thumping his fist on his heart. Petra chuckled, waved, and disappeared through the blurred glass doors. 

“She seems to be confident we’ll listen”,Levi said as he opened the trunk. “Yeah well. Nothing wrong with that”,Mike replied as he grabbed a nondescript bag from the back. Levi slung his own bag over his shoulder, feeling the tip of his toothbrush dig into his shoulder.  

“She’ll get cocky”,He said. 

“Yeah. I don’t know.Think she’s earned that by now, don’t you? Without her we’d be doing this whole expedition on foot”,Mike said, then frowned,”Do you know which of these has her overnight things?”

“Think it was the purple one”,Levi squinted at the various bags. “Purple? Where do you see anything purple?”Mike asked, his face a pink tinted picture of puzzled. 

“That one’s purple. Or is it…It’s not green, right?”Levi asked, holding one up. Damnit Petra, did she have to park right underneath the brightest tinted lamps this side of Stohess?

He unzipped it, spotted the cap of a bottle of toothpaste, closed it. “It’s this one”,He announced. 

“Are you sure?”Mike sniffed, then leaned closer. Levi stretched his arm away from his body. “Oh yeah, there’s shampoo in there”,Mike said, seemingly satisfied with himself. “I could have told you that”,Levi scowled. 

“Yeah, but you didn’t.”

Levi was about to bite back when Mike closed the trunk and walked past him. Dick. Levi trailed after him, quietly annoyed. His fingers itched to throw something at the back of that smug blond head. Lucky for Mike he didn’t.

They waited in the lobby, Mike splayed out on a red velvety armchair, Levi standing in the corner with the bags draped over his shoulders. The straps were digging into his skin, and he seriously hoped Petra would be back soon. Mike’s eyes were falling shut. His head rolled onto the backrest, his long legs stretched out like he was gloating. 

Like she’d heard him thinking, Petra emerged from an office, one hand curled around something Levi couldn’t see yet. A set of keys, he guessed. 

“We got lucky. Oh- thanks”,She said as Levi handed her her bag. “They didn’t have any space?”Mike asked, raising his head. Petra’s face turned just so lightly red. “They did, just not a lot. There was only one room left.”

Almost the entirety of the board showed up in the end. Pyxis firmly shook his left hand, congratulating him on pulling this together in such a short time. “I think we have set a record”,Erwin had replied. Nile stopped by, his wife Marie at his side. “Erwin! It’s been too long”,Marie said, her dark hair in an elegant updo, perfect teeth exposed in a smile. 

“I’ve been busy at work lately. But you’re right, it’s been too long”,He said, and they too left, to be replaced with the next smiling benefactor. 

He hadn’t expected Nile to make an appearance, Marie even less so. They were friends, so in that he supposed they had a reason for coming. But Nile’s position hadn’t required an appearance, and it wasn’t that long ago the three of them could hold a civil conversation. He had been on good terms with Nile for a few years now, but Marie he hadn’t spoken face to face in years. Was this an attempt at bridging that gap? If that was the intention, that was fine, but Erwin didn’t want to spend tonight distracted with rekindling old friendships.

He kept an eye on the two from across the room, where they were happily talking with someone Erwin didn’t recognise.

Perfectly safe. Negligible.

He shook hands with Rod Reiss, who showed up over twenty minutes late and hid his loathing behind a flashy grin as he stared into Erwin's eyes. “So you pulled it off. Enjoy it while it last.”

His father's tie was heavy around his neck, a comforting weight against his chest. He watched as the invitees stopped trickling in, the awkward left handed handshakes dying down over the course of the next half hour. Still, it felt like an eternity before he was able to go back to his table. His quiet turned out to be rather short lived, a blot of movement appearing in the corner of his eye. 

He recognised Nile and Marie, quietly letting out a sigh. 

Lucky for him, the lights dimmed while they’re still on their way, and the most they could do is share a hastily whispered greeting before the first speaker starts.

The night progressed smoothly, the scientists and figureheads from their various institutions going over their presentations. The finer details start to blend together after the first twenty minutes, but the journalists and other board members didn’t seem to lose investment. He suspected the majority had been lost somewhere along the way, but the speakers often circled back to simpler wording for their conclusion. It made for a thorough, though not exhausting experience. Erwin was proud of them, he discovered as he watched Moblit present his historical findings of Ra. 

It wasn’t like it had been in the army, where his subordinates' accomplishments reflected his own, but the pride he had in them remained the same.

“-Lastly, I want to address the usage of Radium in our more recent history”,Moblit said. His hands were tightly knotted together, but his shoulders were open and his face did not look like he was in a total panic. Not entirely at least, and that was good enough.

Radium, a highly dangerous chemical, was widely used for a period of time at the start of the century. It was advertised as the miracle product of the century, and dozens of girls and women lined up to work in the production. Eventually it was discovered that the substance caused all sorts of medical problems, most having to do with the mouth and lower jaw area. The latter was even known to detach in some extreme cases. Moblit guided them through the usage in factories, down to the techniques they worked with, the complaints, the cover-ups, the lawsuits that dragged on until most of the victims had passed.

 “He’s doing so great, isn’t he?”Hange asked. Erwin jumped, his heart beating against his ribs,”Hange, hello”,He managed to say. He hadn’t seen them join their table. He quickly recovered from the start, folding his face back in the familiar stoic expression. 

“Nile, Marie, this is Hange Zoë. I’m sure you’ve heard about them, I mention them quite often in my reports”,Erwin said in a hushed tone,”Hange, this is Nile and Marie Dawk. They’re old friends.”

Marie’s eyes were round as she took in Hange’s appearance, but she managed a charming smile either way. “It’s a pleasure to meet you”,Marie said while extending a hand, the red around her lips positively bloody. Hange shook it, their lips pulled into a grin. “Likewise! I’m not sticking around for long though, I just came to watch Moblit on stage before it’s my turn. Can you believe it? This knucklehead here-”Hange nodded at Erwin,”-Thought it was a fun idea to put me on a stage. I’m going to blow these guys’ minds”,Hange snickered. 

Nile quietly tipped his glass back.

“Oh I can’t wait to see it! Last time I met a colleague of Nile’s with some sense I was still in college”,Marie said. Her dark eyes were beautiful in the sparse light, two dark circles catching the spotlight just right. Hange laughed a little too loud, then went quiet. 

“So that’s your boyfriend? Husband? Bit of fun in the dark?”Marie asked, glancing at Moblit. “What?”

“Marie-”,Nile sighed, but Marie ignored him, to Erwin's amusement. “You haven’t come to see anyone else, it just made me wonder that’s all.”

Even in the dark lighting it was impossible to miss the reddening of Hange’s ears. “It’s not- We’re –”

“Moblit’s about to make his conclusion”,Erwin interrupted swiftly, leaning across the table. “Thank God”,Nile muttered quietly.

He thought he heard Hange mumble out an “it’s complicated” before turning back to the stage. He decided not to ask them about it. They’d talk if they wanted, and if they didn’t, well then Erwin wasn’t going to force it out of them. Unless it interfered with their work, but with Hange he doubted that would plausibly present a risk.

“-And while it is true no products containing radium have been produced here in Shiganshina, uhm, the other factories did have strong ties to this location. In a way, the various deaths across the country were facilitated by the officials stationed here. I uh. I prepared a list of victims, so we can honor their memory, and learn from the horrible mistakes of our past and look to the future”,Moblit scraped his throat, then read off a list of names, his voice gaining in strength with every mention. 

Everything was falling into place. 

It wouldn’t be long for the journalists to go digging, and God knew those people had a nose for finding out exactly who to question. He could almost feel Reiss’ eyes burn into his neck. 

“-Jennifer Jones, and Kuchel Ackermann. I ask for a minute of silence, if that’s okay”,Moblit’s eyes searched the audience, landing on their table. Erwin gave him a small nod. He’d done better than expected. Next to him, Hange gave Moblit two violent thumbs up, nearly knocking the glass out of Nile’s hands.

The room became deathly silent, nobody daring to utter a word. 

“That was all. Thank you”,Moblit said with a nod, then quickly walked off stage once a minute had passed.

“And that’s my cue. Cheer for me would’ya”,Hange said, sliding off their chair. “Good luck!”Marie waved. Nile grumbled something inaudible. “Give them hell”,Erwin told them. “Yessir!”Hange said over their shoulder, before the orange of their suit had vanished in the blue and grays of the crowd. 

“She’s one hell of a woman isn’t she?”Marie said with a grin. “They’re undoubtedly brilliant”,Erwin replied. 

“They can’t all be as sweet as you Marie”,Nile said, pressing a kiss against Marie’s forehead. “Oh shush you, I’ll show just how far flattery’ll get you”,She answered fondly, leaning into the touch. Erwin turned his eyes away, suddenly feeling like he was interrupting something. That could’ve been him, if he’d made a different choice all those years ago. He’d often tried to imagine what his life might have looked like. 

It’d certainly be easier. Nile and Marie had two kids at home, two daughters, and Nile had mentioned talking about a third. 

Erwin wouldn’t have been able to provide that, if she’d wanted. Not even if he’d taken a job closer to home and spent his days with her instead of his comrades.

He didn’t regret his choice. They were both better off this way.

But it was hard not to wonder.

Hange made their entrance, complete with a blackboard on wheels Erwin thought he recognised from the break room at work. How they got it here was a mystery. 

Erwin was pleased to discover he understood most of what they talked about. Part of it was Hange’s reluctant simplification of scientific jargon, but part of it tugged at the memory of their reports, the terms cautiously familiar.

They introduced their audience to the Halluciongenia, walked them through its traits, its behavior, the underlying process’ providing the massive strength and regenerative ability. Hange drew diagrams, their chalk clicking against the board as they drew line after line. Their enthusiasm was infectious, Erwin noticed with a glance around the room. 

All he saw were captivated eyes, slack jaws, nodding heads, a pen-

A pen?

Erwin frowned, leaning in a bit in an effort to recognise the scribe. It took a few seconds for the lengthy brown hair and round glasses to connect to Grisha Jaeger. 

He hadn’t invited him, but, well, he hadn’t formally excluded him either.

But why a doctor would spend their valuable time listening to a dying department's desperate pleas for help was beyond him.

“And that’s all folks, hope I managed to entertain you. Are there any questions?”Hange asked, their blackboard more white than black, a white chalk smear over their nose. 

Their eyes were wide behind their rectangular glasses, their grin stretching ear to ear as they soaked up the sensation of having an entire room of people listen to them. Their eyes darted around, like they wanted to have seen every face in the crowd. The orange of their suit seemed to glow under the spotlight, made it appear like they were on fire. 

Erwin counted no less than seventeen hands going up, each one receiving a thorough answer that made Hange’s smile only broaden. What was it Hange had said? The public liked him, but only tolerated them? Erwin sincerely hoped they could see just how wrong they had been. Their enthusiasm alone had been enough to get an entire room of people to hang on every word.

Hange beckoned him forward when they were done. Erwin had promised to say a few words after all. He’d nearly forgotten what it felt like to stand before a room full of people, all watching his every move through attentive eyes that caught his image better than a camera. 

He took a breath to steady himself, then addressed the room. He kept it short, made sure the attention stayed focused on Hange and the other scientists, but also made a point of stretching the importance of innovation in these uncertain times.

It was almost easy, once he found his footing. He had to make a good impression. This wasn’t a matter of upholding a reputation, it was a matter of swaying both the shareholders and the public to his side. 

Preferably without offering anyone else an opening.

It was enough to weigh heavy on anyone’s shoulders. Might as well be his.

“Nice going! You sounded like a real Commander up there”,Hange told him once they were off stage. “Gave me goosebumps”,They said, showing off their chicken-dimpled arm. Erwin turned his eyes away. It wasn’t anything special, not to him at least. It had been a necessary act, not one to be admired. 

“You also did very well. I’m certain we managed to generate a sufficient amount of public investment.”

Hange rolled their eyes, then good naturedly punched his shoulder,”Loosen up won’t you. Accept that we both did amazing and deserve every bit of praise we can get.”

“Of course”,Erwin dipped his head, which was enough for Hange to let the topic go. “Hey, I’ll find you later. I think I saw someone in the crowd earlier”,They said while walking back to their table. Hange was gone before he had time to respond, only seeing an orange elbow slipping towards the back of the room when he turned. Alright then. 

He resumed his journey alone, sliding back onto his chair. Moblit had joined the table, holding a glass of water with an icecube bobbing along the bottom. Marie’s eyes shone like black gems, her smile broad and showing two rows of perfect teeth. 

“That went amazing! I always said you were good on a stage, but gosh, I almost forgot just how good you were”,Marie smiled, skewering a block of cheese onto a toothpick. 

“Oh don’t look like that sweetie, you know what I mean”,She said, prodding a disgruntled Nile’s side with her elbow. “I bet those mosquitos you invited will want a word or two. How many did you get to come anyway?”Nile asked with a glare at a person taking pictures. 

“Just the local newspaper and some scientific magazines. Anything more would’ve tanked the budget, and for what?”

He glanced at Nile,”They’re not harming anything, I can vouch for that.”

Nile grumbled something under his breath, tilting his glass back for another mouthful. “I hope they’ll take a while. I completely forgot to ask for questions when I was done”,Moblit said, swishing the water inside his glass. 

“Your subject wasn’t that complicated”,Erwin reassured him,”It should be fine. You did as well as I thought you would.”

Moblit let out a relieved breath, then pulled his face into a shaky smile. “That’s good to hear at least. You and Hange were also great”,The man's eyebrows knotted together,”Say, where is Hange? I’d like to congratulate them.”

Marie’s eyes twinkled, but she didn’t say anything out loud. “They said they saw someone they recognised to attend to. I’m not sure where they are at the moment”,Erwin looked over his shoulder, but Hange’s bright orange wasn’t anywhere in sight. “Ah, I’m sure …They’ll be back soon. They were so excited to hear you speak earlier, really, on my mothers pearls I can tell you you’ve got them hooked”,Marie said, holding out a hand. Moblit’s eyes went round, but he kept quiet.

“Mister Smith, do you have a minute for a chat? I’d like to ask you some questions”,A woman with a tightly pulled bun asked him. Erwin glanced at the rest at the table, who quickly turned away to talk amongst themselves. That was fine, there wasn’t much that could be said they didn’t already know. “That shouldn’t be a problem. What was it you wanted to discuss?”

The room Petra had managed to secure them was small, but it was clean. It had one double bed, a pull out, a minifridge and then a small table with a single chair. Petra immediately claimed one side of the bed as hers, collapsing on the blanket with her arms stretched as far as they could go.

“I’m going to take a shower”,Levi announced, narrowly avoiding Mike’s bag as it soared through the air and landed on the pull out. “Yep, see you when you’re back”,Petra mumbled, her face buried in the blanket. Levi wondered how many people had used that bed before, and a shiver ran down his neck. 

“Let us know how the shower works”,Mike said. Levi didn’t dignify that with a response, and just went about his business. The bathroom was also clean, luckily. There was a stain on the bottom of the bathtub, the place where water hit first and pooled before draining. Not the prettiest, but that hardly mattered. It wasn’t dirt, so he could deal with it.

The water that sprayed out the showerhead was lukewarm, so Levi didn’t bother messing with the knobs and handles. It was good enough for him. If Mike or Petra wanted anything else they’d just have to figure it out themselves. 

By the time he’d brushed his teeth and combed out his hair, both Mike and Petra had made themselves at home on their respective sleeping spots. “Are you sure that’s long enough?”Petra asked as Levi walked back into the room. Mike, laying down with his feet hanging off the edge, nodded. “Yeah, this is fine”,He said, looking almost comically out of place. 

“Well…Okay. If you need to swap just let me know”,Petra said, holding an open book on her lap. Levi glanced down at it, and wondered what was so important it needed so much paper to say. It looked like a fucking waste.

He threw his bag on the table, then eyed the chair. It looked sturdy enough. He could make do with that for the night. He’d tried sleeping on one of those round chairs without armrests once. That hadn’t ended great. His back hadn’t ached, but everything else had.

“I’m going to see if there’s a phone around”,He told them. “I think there was one down the hall. Do you need any change?”

“Should be good”,Levi answered, the one single coin in his pocket pushing against his thumb. “So how does the shower work?”Mike asked as Levi walked out. 

“Don’t know”,Levi said before shutting the door. 

He found the phone quickly enough, pushed the coin in the slot, waited for the ringing to sound. It seemed to take forever. He leaned against the wall, the handset slightly sticky against his freshly washed hands. 

Crisse, these people managed to clean everything but the one thing you had to hold your face against to function. “Isabel-”He said when there was a click, but he quickly realized it was just the sound of the line disconnecting. She hadn’t picked up. Must not be home yet, or maybe she was already gone. Farlan was probably asleep, drooling all over himself like a child. Levi wondered how the injury was doing. Probably festering like a rotten piece of meat.

It must hurt.

He didn’t like thinking about that. There was nothing he could do from here. Even if he’d managed to get a call through, what would he have said? Hello, sorry you’re leaking pus out your shoulder, want to hear how I took a warm shower and drank tea all day?

Fucking disgusting. No, maybe it was for the best they hadn’t picked up. As much as it bothered him not to know how they were doing, it would’ve just made him think of them more. He couldn’t afford that, not now. He’d just have to trust that they’d be okay without him. Somehow he found that near impossible.

Petra had changed into boxy pajama’s, her wet hair dripping into a towel. It looked darker, somehow. She looked almost boyish, with her face all red and her stiff garments.

“How’d it go?”,Petra asked. “Didn’t answer”,Levi answered, sitting down in his chair. 

“Oh. You were gone so long, I thought- Nevermind. It’s none of my business”,She said while running a finger through her hair. “There’s a fire escape”,Levi said,”It goes up to the roof. I figured I might see Stohess from here”,He told her. 

“But that’s already miles away. We’re way too far for that”,Petra answered. 

“Yeah, found that out myself.” The view had been disappointing in more ways than one. All he’d really seen were the treetops and motel parking lot. 

“So are you sleeping above the coverts or am I?”Petra asked. Levi blinked. “What?” 

“Both are fine by me, I can do without a blanket”,She went on, smoothing out a fold. Her eyebrows tightened at his lack of response,”I can hardly make you take the chair, can I?”

“No it’s fine. I’ll take the chair. I’m used to it”,He said, staring into her brown eyes. The thought of sharing a bed hadn’t even crossed his mind, and now that it had, he realized he didn’t enjoy it very much. 

“You’re…used to it?”,Petra repeated. Levi gave a nod.

“Yeah. Jesus Pet, I’ll just take the damn chair. What’s the issue?”

For a moment they just stared at each other, before Petra turned her eyes away.

“How did you say you got to the roof? The fire escape?”

Levi gave another puzzled nod, watching as she slipped into her shoes. She didn’t show her face when she left, and the “I won’t be out long” sounded strangely strangled. 

He’d clearly upset her, that much was clear. But how or why, he didn’t know. 

The door seemed to vibrate when she closed it, the silence suddenly overwhelming. 

“You are an idiot, you know that?”Mike asked. Levi hadn’t noticed the shower turning off, or the bathroom door open. Mike was standing in the doorway, his blond hair plastered against his forehead and a towel wrapped around his waist.

“That’s rich coming from you”,Levi retorted, his skin lightly crawling. How long had he been standing there? 

“Sure. You should still go talk to her”,Mike said, disappearing back into the bathroom but leaving the door open,“It’d be good. For both of you. Petra’s a sweet girl, and you’re a bloody blind idiot.”

Levi still wasn’t sure what he’d done, but he wasn’t stupid enough to think that ignoring a 

problem would end up solving it. He waited for another few minutes. Isabel would’ve said he was sulking, but that wasn’t true. He was just gathering his thoughts. While glaring. And not moving.

The rooftop was just as dark as it had been before. Levi shuddered when cold wind hit his skin, digging his fingers into his sleeves. “Petra?”He asked, hunching his shoulders inwards against the cold. 

“Yeah, I’m here”,Was the answer. He followed her voice, finding her sitting besides a vent blowing out warm air. She was sitting with her back against a small bricked room, which blocked all the light. He couldn’t see her face very well, but she probably preferred that right now anyway. 

“It’s colder than I thought”,Petra said, her arms tightly hugging her legs. Levi leaned against the wall next to her, feeling the vents warm air wash over his face. 

Her voice was almost strangled, like she was forcing the words out. 

“You shouldn’t have gone out like that. You’ll get ill”,Levi said. Petra stayed quiet, only quietly sniffing once. 

They sat together in silence for a few minutes. The treetops slowly waved back and forth, the stars mostly hidden behind a thick layer of clouds. It was strange, not seeing the usual dozens of lights Levi was used to when climbing a roof.

“You really don’t like me, do you?”Petra asked quietly. Levi frowned, looking down. He could only vaguely see the outline of her nose, the shine under her eyes. “I like you.”

Petra chuckled once, a humorless sound that sounded entirely wrong for her. “Not how I meant it.”

“Ah”,Levi said, the realization slowly dawning on him. Fuck. He sank down, back trailing along the wall, until he was sitting next to her. It was still too dark to see anything, but he could tell this wasn’t a conversation she was looking forward to having. At least they were on the same page with that. 

“No- No, Petra, I don’t.”

Petra’s head moved down and away, her wet hair falling before the small portion of her face he’d been able to see. “Gosh, I feel like an idiot. You must think I’m crazy or something.”

“Maybe. But not because of shit like this.”

Petra sniffled again, her head moving up a little,”Right, thanks Levi. That helps a lot.”

“You cut your apples into circles”,He reminded her. She didn’t laugh, which made him go quiet again. Then…”Lots of people cut their apples in circles.”

It did make him curious. Why of all people she’d like him. He couldn’t even read those books she’d dragged along. He was so far from anything she was familiar with, so different from the things a girl from a good family was supposed to surround herself with.

“Normal people don’t. So I’ve heard.”

“Was about to say. Like you’re so normal”,Petra said. Her voice was still quieter than usual, but it was back to not sounding like she was being choked out. That was something, at least.

“That’s part of why I started liking you in the first place. Not that it matters now”,Petra said, letting go of her legs in order to twist her fingers together.

Levi felt his stomach twist,”Normal people don’t like strange assholes like me. They have this thing called common sense.”

“Yeah, well, nothing I do makes much sense anyway. I was supposed to work in my dads company, you know. It’s going to a cousin now”,She spoke quietly, then sighed loudly. “I don’t know where I’m going with this. It’s late.”

“We’re good, right? We’re still friends?”She asked a heartbeat later, her voice slightly unsteady. 

“We’re good”,Levi replied, staring at the waving treetops. It really was a cold night. 

“Oh, by the way, you’re not sleeping in a chair. I’d like to have you work for us for a long time, and you can’t do that if your back gives out”,She paused, then tilted her head. “You don’t actually sleep on chairs, do you?”

“It’s not like it’s hard. You can sleep anywhere if you’re stubborn enough”,Levi responded dryly. Then, Petra did something absolutely horrible. 

She laughed. And she didn’t stop. 

And then when she did stop, he could still see the remnants of that laugh in her eyes as they descended the fire escape.

And when he was all but forced to lay down and sleep, he could still hear it echo in his ears. He pretended not to hear it, just as he pretended not to see how red her eyes actually were.

“I know you don’t like me like I like you. And that’s okay. I’ll just have to get over it.” 

The lab lights buzzed quietly as Hange strolled through the lab. The windows outside were pitch black, not even a lamp showing outside. It felt almost cozy, they thought fondly as they passed by the eggshell walls and soft blue tiles. The terrarium was heavy in their hands, the cover tightly pulled over the bottom. Their beautiful sweet darling had been pretty quiet lately, but, well, they’d had a busy day. Hange hadn’t brought them out on stage after all, but well, they were sure the poor thing heard all the commotion. 

In truth they felt rather bad for it. The poor thing hadn’t left the lab since it was a little baby rat, with little pink toes and a little red nose. It had always been so adorable- Hange almost felt bad when they’d injected their latest formula into its neck. But sacrifices must be made for science, that was the truth, plain and simple. 

They put the terrarium back on the shelf, tilting it just right. The shadows were extremely black, but the reflections of all the different terrariums made the whole room seem to sparkle. Other rats crawled around, or chewed on their oats, or ran in the hamster wheels Hange had put into their cages. They were adorable, obviously. Hange had taken one home once, when they’d only just started. Its name was Mr Prickle, and it had its own room in Hange’s small apartment. Technically they weren’t allowed, but well, nobody had noticed.

They pulled the cover off, humming softly to themselves as they did. The night had gone great, but they’d be a liar if they said it hadn’t shaken them a little. Oh sure, they had put on their brightest smile and spoken in their loudest voice, but nobody really knew how close they’d been to running off to hide in a dark corner somewhere. 

“Let’s see your beautiful face”,Hange said with an adoring smile on their lips.

The cover pulled off. Their lips froze. The rat was… The rat- It was- No, no that couldn’t be their rat, could it? It was fine this morning. What had happened to it? Tight skin over bulging muscles, bald patches where there should’ve been fur, and the tail- Oh-

It barely looked like a rat anymore. All that research, all that-

That-

They clasped their hands over their mouth in horror, their jaw open in a quiet sob.

“Oh, my baby! What went wrong with you? Did I…?”

They stood there frozen, the seconds passing by one at a time and dragging on endlessly. They couldn’t keep their eyes away.

Finally, the part of their brain that had landed them this lab in the first place took over. They got a container, slid the deceased rat inside, and put it away in the freezer. It’d be a beautiful specimen, a golden opportunity. They could already guess at what the dissective results would be, and quietly marveled at the wonder.

“You’ll do great things for me. I’m sorry”,They said as they locked the freezer. They really did feel sorry. But their hunger, their curiosity, outweighed their guilt by a landslide. 

Hange Zoë had once been told they’d been born curious. 

The rat inside the freezer grew ice crystals between deep slits in its throat. 

Together, they weren’t all far from changing the world, though neither of them knew just how close they would get.

Chapter Text

The alarm Petra had brought with her went off before the sun had a chance to rise. They ate watery scrambled eggs, drank coffee that tasted like someone had taken a piss in it, and drove off before the light hitting the road came from the sun. 

Levi gripped a thermos of black tea in his hands, an attempt at washing the taste of bad coffee out his mouth. It didn’t really help, but at least it was a different kind of bad. 

The streetlights were bright orange, and made his eyelids droop under their harsh light. He leaned his head against the headrest, letting the brightness slip over his face. 

How Petra managed to stare into them and keep her mind on driving was beyond him. Her fingers were tight around the wheel, her lips a pursed line in the rearview mirror. Mike hadn’t even tried. The man had mumbled a list of instructions and then promptly fallen asleep. Levi had suggested kindly waking him up. They had enough water to spare. Petra had told him it was fine. 

Besides, she said while briefly looking over, she had better ways to wake him up. 

The snoring had gotten on Levi’s nerves fast. It had way too many nasal noises for him to be comfortable with. He hadn’t noticed it when he was asleep, a fucking miracle.

Outside the lights turned off. They drove in near total darkness for a while. Levi found it unnerving, that stretching black without end. It wasn’t right. He was used to seeing stuff, buildings, and such. He kept his eyes firmly out the window, just in case there was something hiding out there. It was a paranoid, stupid thought, but he couldn’t justify not thinking it either.

The sun rose soon after. Fine, it was still too much empty space for comfort, but at least he could see it now. He passed a cheese sandwich to Petra, took the smallest piece of bread for himself, and kept watch until his vision was clear enough. They didn’t speak, just drove in silence as the landscape rolled by. Other cars started appearing on the road. How Petra managed to keep her cool when those metal monsters sped by was a mystery. 

He finished his tea, then swapped out his empty thermos for a full one. The tea inside was nearing cold, but tea was tea. Levi preferred his near boiling, but this was alright as well. As long as it wasn’t colder than he was, it was fine. 

They stopped at a gas station, which woke Mike up. Petra all but ran for the bathroom, leaving Mike and Levi alone in the small gas station shop.

“So you talked”,Mike said casually, rummaging through one of the shelves. Levi stood with his hands in his pockets. He didn’t have the cash to pay for anything in here, and he didn’t want it anyway. Stealing something seemed like a waste of efforts.

“Yeah. We talked.”

“Good. She seems better”,Mike noted, flipping a bag of nuts around in his hand. Levi kept quiet, and that was that.

They left, driving the bulk of the day away as they got further and further from their starting point. For the first time Levi really understood why everyone had been so reluctant to travel several days on a questionable lead. He didn’t think he’d ever sat in one position this long. At one point he unbuckled his seatbelt, just to be able to sit with his legs pointing the other way. 

Every minute took forever. 

Every road was endless.

His first long trip out of Stohess, and at this rate he felt like’d sooner die on the road than make it back. 

Fuck. 

He was bored.

He was almost glad when Petra turned the radio on. 

It didn’t take long for the noise to become grating as well.

They ate shitty food in a shitty place, walked shitty laps to stretch their shitty legs, and Levi listened as Petra sang along to a shitty song.

“It was a one-eyed one-horner flying-purple-people eater- One-eyed one-horned flying-purple-people-eater”,She sang while tapping her fingers on the wheel. Mike didn’t actively sing along, but he did nod his head and mumble, which was nearly as bad. 

Levi wanted to slap something.

Finally, after an eternity of driving and sitting and handing out snacks and wanting to smash his head through the window, Mike announced they were there.

Levi had never scrambled out a car faster than when Petra stopped at the side of a dusty café. His legs ached from sitting still the whole day, his arms were heavy, and Jesus fuck he still heard Petra’s “flying-purple-people-eater” echo around his head.

“So what now?”Mike asked, his nostrils flaring as he took in the new scents. 

“Is that even a question? We find the guy and make him tell us what he knows”,Levi said, stretching his legs one before the other.

“You’re plenty motivated. And however happy I am you’re taking this seriously, we’ll need to take care of practical matters first”,Petra stepped in, walking around the car towards the trunk. Levi followed her with his eyes, eyebrows raising.

“Like?”

“A hotel would be nice, for starters. I saw one as we drove in”,Petra said.

“Do we all need to show up?”

“Well. No, I don’t think so. I’ve got everyone’s papers anyway”,Petra said. 

“You faked my papers?”Levi asked with a frown. “When did you do that?”

“Oh, ages ago. I wanted to be prepared for situations like these”,She said. Levi wasn’t sure how he should feel about that. He could see why she’d do such a thing, but the thought of her making up shit about his life made his skin crawl. The less traces could be tied back to him the better. Levi felt his hackles rise, but he kept his reaction minimal. He tch-ed,”What name did you give me?”

“Levi Smith. Thought I’d keep it simple”,Petra shrugged, opening the trunk. “You’ve also just turned thirty-two in December. Congrats”,She told him, her voice absent as she rummaged through the bags. She pulled out a small leather bag, swinging the loop over her shoulder. 

“Do you think they’ll buy it? Feels a little old for him”,Mike said while pointing at Levi with his thumb. A moment later the man wheezed when Levi’s elbow jabbed between his ribs. “-Jesus- You’ve got some bony elbows on you. The fuck-”,Mike said, rubbing his ribcage while throwing Levi a glare.

Levi answered with a scowl.

“We’ll meet up here in an hour.”

“It might take a while to find something.”

“Two hours then. I doubt you’ll need three.”

Petra thought it over, then nodded. “Should work. Mike, come with me? I don’t like walking around alone in a strange place.” Mike gave Levi one more disgruntled glance, then followed Petra as she walked towards the center of town, her reddish hair swinging over her shoulders. He watched them until they turned a corner, then turned around and went the other way.

Right. 

Now he’d just have to find the fuck.

The newspaper arrived on his desk at 10.16 in the morning. Erwin finished reading it at 10.24. Most of it was filled with interesting, yet irrelevant information. A scandal in France, a local housefire, updates on a new urban planning project that’s set to happen in the next five years. He skimmed those articles, his eyes glazing over the words without really reading them. He eventually found what he was looking for on the fifth-to-last page. 

It took up two entire pages, which he interpreted as a positive. The article contained a small recap of the science that had been spoken about at the event, before it moved into the larger political network. 

So far, it had been exactly what he had expected.

Then he read the section containing his answers to the questions he was posed with.

His eyebrows pulled a little closer together.

“Sir? Someone’s here to see you”,A woman he recognizes as the receptionist told him, her cheeks red from walking all the way to his office. He looked up, then gave her a nod. 

“Alright. Who is it?” The woman shook her permanent-curled head,”He didn’t give a name, Sir. But he seemed to be quite certain you knew who he was. Shall I send him in?”

“You can, yes. Thank you”,Erwin told her, folding the newspaper and putting it aside. He pulled his sleeves down, straightening out his posture. The receptionist gave him a nod, then shuffled out the door in small rapid paces. She couldn’t have been gone for longer than five minutes when his office door opened again. 

The light reflected brightly off of Pyxis’  bald head as he entered Erwin’s office, his deep sunken eyes stuck with that signature twinkle. His face however, couldn’t have been more grim if he’d been attending a funeral. 

“Good morning. I must say, I didn’t expect you to come all the way again so soon. Please, take a seat”,Erwin said, gesturing to the chair opposite to his desk. The skin around his hand suddenly felt three times too tight. Funny, how that worked.

“I hadn’t expected it either. See, I thought you were an honest young man who wouldn’t cause too much trouble”,Pyxis told him, drawing out every word. 

The corners of Erwin’s lip twitched. “With all due respect, I never pretended to be something I’m not”,He said, the words tasting sour on his tongue. “No, I guess you were always something of a pain in the ass. Allow me to rephase. I didn’t think you’d make trouble for me specifically”,Pyxis chuckled, running his fingers down his lengthy white mustache. 

“Not that I’m all that surprised”,He added. 

Erwin kept his face meticulously straight. The old man’s eyes turned to the newspaper, the expression softening into something much slyer Erwin found hard to take measure of. His mouth still tasted sour. “Have you read it?”

Erwin followed his eyes, then nodded. “I did. And I couldn’t help but notice some of my words have been edited”,He said, putting extra weight on the last word. His arm rested on the table, hand leaning against his temple.

“Yes, you kind of forced our hand there. Radical words require radical actions, I’m afraid”,Pyxis smiled, but there was no joy in his eyes. He reminded Erwin of a fox, though the feeling faded as soon as he blinked. 

“I’d hardly call anything I said radical”,Erwin argued. His forehead would start cramping soon if he’d keep on frowning like this.

“Then you have a very different recollection of the night than the rest of us do”,Pyxis said sharply. Erwin kept his hand from fretting with his sleeve. He had the ridiculous impulse to pull down his right sleeve, straighten it, hide everything underneath. He could only imagine what that sort of nervous mannerisms would project, how foolish he’d seem.

“Everything I said was verified, not to mention suggestive at best. It was barely worth the trouble of editing”,Erwin said calmly. 

It was at times like this his face felt less like a part of his body, and more like a series of parts he had to keep tight control of in order to resemble an ordinary human being. 

He imagined himself as a machine, a tireless, endlessly pounding abomination only designed to keep doing its job, no matter the cost. As he stared into Pyixs’ sunken eyes, the thought occurred that he was staring at another one of these pointlessly working machines, one functioning in the exact same way, just with another purpose.

“That is not for you to decide”,This rusty old concoction told him. 

“Freedom of speech is a protected right. Neither of us should be able to influence what ends up in a paper”,Erwin said quietly,“So why did you?”

Pyxis gave a miniscule sigh,”You’re a smart lad, even if you aren’t acting like it. You know as well as I do that going after an official like that -making insinuations like that- might do more harm than good. Despite what you may think, Rod Reiss plays a critical part in the functioning of our government.”

“Not as critical as my department”,Erwin retorted. “I know his position is important. I won’t argue that. But I believe I have more than enough reason to doubt his competence for the role. Especially as we grow closer to our involvement in Asia. There is reason to doubt his capabilities to sympathize with the people he’s responsible for, therefore making him a liability. Do not mistake my motives for something as petty as pride.”

Pyxis was quiet for a long time after Erwin was done speaking. Thoughts of everything he had learned recently resurfaced inside his head. Frieda, Historia. All his employees at the radium factory. All people that had been failed in some way by the whims of Rod Reiss. Erwin wasn’t doing it for them either, but they were fuel to the fire that would eventually drive Reiss a safe distance away. And, a small voice to his right whispered, it would be nice to show up to work without having to worry about his own shadows being revealed.

“You make an interesting point”,Pyxis said quietly. “He had some interesting things to say about you as well, you know that? We kept his words out of the newspaper maybe more than we did yours. Don’t talk about freedom of speech until you’re ready to see all your mistakes printed for the world to read.”

Erwin kept his face a careful neutral. Damn it. He supposed it hadn’t been completely unexpected, but he had hoped -no, he’d been certain- that Reiss’ fear would’ve kept him quiet. 

“What did he have to say? Don’t sugarcoat it. I ought to hear what’s being spread about me, don’t you think?”He asked, his tongue heavy in his mouth.

“I think you know already. Whatever childish feud you two have going on ought to be done already, don’t you agree?”,Was all Pyxis said, tilting his head just enough to make it impossible to keep the eye contact intact. And well, there was nothing Erwin could argue against that. 

Pushing for details would invoke more suspicion than letting the subject go.

“I’ll look forward to the vote next Friday",Pyxis told him while pulling the chair back. Erwin rose as well, planting his hand on the table. His hook clicked against the wood, offering no true support. “I’m curious to see how you’ll resolve the situation.”

Erwin gave him a curt nod,“I’ll look forward to hearing your opinion.”

“Yes, yes you will. Oh and Erwin?”

“Yes?”

“Does a German woman really taste different than one of ours?”

Erwin felt his heart sink. He kept his face blank, his posture tight. The latter wasn’t even a conscious decision. All his muscles had stiffened so tight he couldn’t have moved them if he tried. 

“I wouldn’t know”,He heard himself say, his voice so flat it sounded foreign,”I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting one.”

Pyxis glanced down, his eyebrows raising. “I see. Well, that’s a shame. I’ll see you on Friday, Smith. Don’t be late.”

It wasn’t all that hard to confirm that the guy Levi was looking for actually lived in town. “Oh, that one”,A man with a long tangled beard and a sagging beer gut grumbled. “You’ll find him in the trailer park on the edge of town. Ask for Ed to show you, he’ll know. What do you need him for anyway?”

Levi’s hand protectively covered his steaming cup of tea. It was a busy place, with outdated music playing and kids playing darts in the corner. The barstools were high and made of leather, dozens of pale scratchy initials carved into the wood of the bar itself. The sort of place that spread rumours like seasoning, sprinkled on top of every shitty peanut that came with the beer.

“I just need to ask him some questions. Shouldn’t take too long”,Levi said, raising his voice to be heard clearly. “Some questions huh?”The man leered at him over the rim of his beer,”This ain’t about that girl of his, is it?”

Levi paused, the steam sticking to the palm of his hand. 

“Why’d you say that?”

The other laughed, his rosy cheeks shaking,”Because it’s all the sad old fuck ever talks about. It’s always Sina this, Sina that. It’s been over thirteen years for Christ’s sake, and he still talks about her like she left yesterday”,The man shook his head, finished his beer, then ordered another. 

Sina. The second girl in the case that went missing by Mantis’ hand, now had a real name. 

Ymir, Sina. 

Sina, Ymir. 

Levi wondered if she was also a blonde.

“He does?”

“Oh yeah, every time someone gets him to say more than two words it’s like opening the box of Pan-dor-ra”,The man shook his head, pushing the bottle against his lips. Levi took a small sip of his tea. It was piping hot. A relief after a whole day of lukewarm to cold drinks. 

“A word of advice. If you see him stumbling into this fine establishment, you turn around and leave. It’s not worth listening to, I promise ‘ya.”

Levi nodded. Better a nod than anything else that threatened to slip out his mouth. Fine establishment bullshit. He could practically feel his pants merge with the greasy stools.

This however, this was good news. If the man really was as whiny as told it’d be no effort at all to get him to talk. 

“No, it’s not about the girl. Funny to bring it up though. What happened to her?”Levi asked, feigning a polite interest. The man eyed him, suddenly seeming warier than before.

“Who did you say you were again?” 

His muddy brown eye was watery, but focused on Levi like a lazer. 

“A cousin. Estranged”,Levi lied. He hoped it sounded believable. 

“Mom’s side or dad?”

“Mom’s. She was a sister of his, but we moved.”

The man stayed quiet, then relaxed and tilted his glass back. 

“A man don’t usually lie about his mother, I know that much. It’s not a long story. Or a very nice one.”

“That’s fine.”

“Right, thought you’d say that. It went a little something like this: the day the girl was playing in the yard, the next she’s in a hospital somewhere. Just like that. See, her mama had died a little while before. So when she lands herself in a sickhouse and her dad starts acting like he got some screws loose, well, you know. Grief does funny things with a man.”

The man shook his head, almost sadly. 

“The paper’s said she was in a car accident,  but he didn’t buy it. He swore up and down she was taken by some shady government dealings. Bullshit. This town’s safe as anything. Nothing goes on without someone seeing. Nothing.”

The man stopped talking to ask for another beer. Levi stayed quiet, letting him finish. 

“Then one day we see this black car drive by, big and long, a corpse car as my wife calls them. It came to bring the girl's body back. She’d died of her wounds, you see. Sorry thing. They never did catch the guy that did it.”

For a split second, it looked as if the man was going to form a complete thought. Then his eyes clouded over again, and he scraped his throat before continuing.

“Think it was the same day we heard something go down in front of Benny’s. That’s the butcher, on main street if you’re interested. Makes damn good sausages. And Vince, Sina’s daddy, he had asked for Ben’s big butchering knife. Ben said no, which was damn right of him. I saw Vince that day, and he looked like he’d been talking to ghosts. Kept saying the casket was empty, but he couldn’t check because the locks were welded shut.”

He made a face, waited for Levi to acknowledge how outlandish the claim was, then went on talking. His beard was growing a thin layer of foam. The sight of it made Levi’s skin want to peel back inch by inch. At a lack of response, he scraped his throat and shrugged.

“Ben didn’t give him the knife, obviously. Who knows what kind of crazy he’d have done with it. Might have actually hurt someone, I wouldn’t put it past him. Have you ever seen a butcher's knife? Those things are huge. You seem like a city boy. Do they have those in the cities?”

Levi confirmed that yes, he had seen butcher knives before. They looked mean as hell, and were very efficient at separating toes from the rest of the body. The dampness from his tea’s steam started feeling red. Red and tasting of iron. He let go of the cup, wiping his hand with his handkerchief. 

“Well, that’s about it really. There was a funeral, but I don’t think anybody came. Some kids, maybe. The girl wasn’t liked much even when she was alive. She had those eyes, you know. You’d be going home from work and find her sitting on the curb picking the petals of flowers, giving you a stare like this”,The man raised his eyebrows, stretching his eyes as far as they would go. He looked like he was having a stroke. Or a heart attack. 

“She’s buried around here?”Levi asked. He hadn’t expected them to give a body back. Or even pretend they did. 

“Oh yeah, not far off. Follow the road, then across the street from the post office. Somewhere near the back, I think, I only go there to visit my brother and he’s got a spot near the front.”

Levi made a noncommittal sound. The only dead person he cared to visit hadn’t gotten a grave he could visit. Or maybe she did. He didn’t know. Kenny wouldn’t have told him if she did.

The man sighed loudly, stretching his arms over the bar. 

“Well, it was nice talking to you. But I’m going home, before the wife comes looking for me.”

Levi gave a nod. “Nice talking to you too”,He said, his facial muscles having to work overtime to keep himself from sneering. A girl had died, and the best thing that could be said about her was that her eyes freaked people out. His hand, still wet with blood, was too still for comfort. Levi’s hands did not shake. They were precise, stable. Ready to listen to his command. Right now, that command was leaning toward hurling the cup of tea against the other’s head.

He kept himself under control, finished his tea, and left the cup sitting on the bar. 

The cemetery was easy to find. Littered with crosses and with thick hedges next to red brick walls, the church close enough to cast a shadow over the graves. It was a small town, it didn’t long to get anywhere on foot. 

He passed by dozens of gravestones, most simple gray stone with thick crosses mounted on top. Some had flowers. Most had a picture. He only remembered he had no way to find Sina’s grave himself when he’d gotten nearly all the way to the back. He didn’t know what she looked like, or how old she’d been. 

There weren’t many people out at this hour- he had to meet up with Petra and Mike himself soon- so it wasn’t like he could find someone to ask. He walked on anyway. 

It was quiet in the cemetery, like the world itself was holding its breath in here. Graveyards always felt like that. He didn’t find it wholly unpleasant.

The final row of gravestones were among the least well taken care of. They were cracked, or faded, or the names had eroded under the rain. Most of the death dates were from over twenty years ago. It wasn’t until he came to the final few that there were any more recent than 1942. They still had some sort of decoration, though. Candles, statues, a mossy plant pot. He recognized Sina’s grave instantly.

It didn’t have her picture on it. It stood out because it had nothing at all. Just a name, and a date. 1939-1947. Not even ten years old. If she were still alive she’d have been an adult by now, nearly the same age as him.

 The stone itself was a simple slab of stone. No cross in sight. The sort of thing a kid might scrounge up when their dog dies. No, that would’ve been more effort. Nobody had bothered taking care of her grave. Levi stood over the rock, the stone barely coming up to his knees. The casket underneath his feet could have her bones in it. It could also be empty, if her dad was right. He’d be standing on her legs if it wasn’t.

Unless she was buried the other way around, in that case he’d be pushing on her throat.

He felt a cold shiver run down his spine, the hairs on his neck rising. He sank on his haunches, careful to keep his clothes from brushing against the damp grass, and slowly cleaned off the child’s headstone.

 Whether she was here or not, it was the last thing left of her. It didn’t feel right to leave it like this, with moss growing near the bottom and a layer of grime filling the letters.

It didn’t feel right.

“I take it Pyxis told you off as well?”Erwin asked in passing. Reiss halted, then turned to look over his shoulder. 

“What’s it to you?”The man asked. His disgruntled demeanor was as much confirmation as Erwin was going to get. He looked tired. Tired, but not yet defeated, sadly. 

They were alone in the hallway. There was sound coming from a door further down, but they couldn’t hear what was being said. More importantly, they couldn’t be overheard either. 

“That depends on what you spoke about”,Erwin said slowly. He had a rough idea from Pyxis, of course. But there was always the chance that hadn’t been all. There was always a risk, and he’d like to get ahead of that if he could.

Reiss’ eyes took on a dangerous gleam, his face cold. “That’s rich coming from you. We both know the whole thing was an excuse to drag my good name through the mud.”

“Come on Rod, be honest for once. We both know your name hasn’t been good since the first war”,Erwin retorted without skipping a beat. Reiss winced, swinging a stubby finger in Erwin's direction. It might have been aimed at his face, but how things were it hovered slightly below his jaw.

“Well. It didn’t work though, did it?”Reiss remarked triumphantly. Erwin didn’t dignify an answer, instead tilting the corners of his mouth upwards. 

“Didn’t it? I thought it went rather well. The Research Department has been in the public eye for the first time in years. We take up more space in the country’s mind than you’d think.”

That seemed to puzzle Reiss. The man’s jaw clicked, his eyes staring up like Erwin had just told him the sun rose in the West and lowered in the East.

“I still know what happened. Do you think they’ll vote for you if they knew what really happened that night?”

“There have been a lot of nights, Rod, you’ll have to be more specific.”

Reiss’s eyes narrowed,”You know what night I am talking about. There’s only one that matters, isn’t there?”

Erwin kept his face a stark neutral. “My actions have been verified and judged under military law. I have nothing to hide.”

Reiss laughed, a slow, venomous laugh. “Have they? All of them? You’re not popular in Karenthas, and for good reason. Three civilians, Smith. Three. All because they wanted a walk near the harbor, and you were too busy to keep them safe”,Reiss told him. “Now, you might not care for their lives, but do you think they will agree?”

“Both of our pasts have blood on them. That does not mean I will let it hinder the future”,Erwin replied. 

“What would the civilians have to say about that?”

“What would Frieda?”

Erwin and Reiss stared at one another, both men stunned into silence. The words hung heavy around them, thick and pregnant with memories begging to be forgotten. 

“Smith- What is it you’re trying to achieve?” Reiss asked, sighing with his eyes narrow in exasperation. Erwin blinked at the question, taking a second before he answered,”To secure the proper funding for my department.”

“That can’t be right. You can’t go through all this effort just for that”,Reiss’ voice had started going higher, shifting into something that almost resembled a whine. Erwin found it to be highly unnerving. His arm itched, a deep, bony itch that pulsed deep beneath the metal and plastic sheathing of his prosthetic. 

“I’ve never had eyes for anything else”,He said simply, his eyes keeping Reiss’ trapped in a stare. 

“What sort of a man are you? Digging around my entire life, finding ways you think will give you power. You’re insane, that’s what you are! You’re not a person, you’re a devil!”

“I have taken responsibility for my actions. If you have any further problems, I suggest you make an appeal to the courts. Though I doubt they’d be able to reopen my case before fall. You wouldn’t believe how busy they are”,Erwin said. 

“How about you? Have you ever faced any sort of repercussions for your wrongdoings? If the answer to that question is not a yes I doubt you have grounds to question my moral standing.”

He straightened his posture, running a hand over his hair. “I’ll look forward to seeing you in the meeting on Friday. Your opinions have always been vastly appreciated”,Erwin told him kindly, though there was no warmth in his voice. He left Reiss behind, his arm practically throbbing with a pain he couldn’t see. 

He scratched his metal arm, fingernails scraping against the shell. 

It didn’t help, of course it didn’t. 

It continued to itch the entire rest of the day. He removed the hook at home, scratched the bare scarred skin until it looked raw. 

But the problem hadn’t been his skin, nor his arm, nor was it so easily solved. It had been at his hand, the equivalent of which was laying on his bedside table. 

A metal hook with a protective sphere on the end, a poor replacement of the original. 

It couldn’t grab. It couldn’t write. He could hardly put on a suit without tearing through the fabric.

There was an overflow of ‘could-not’s’. He was practically drowning in them.

And yet the thing still managed to itch.

Petra and Mike managed to secure them two nights in the local hotel. They waited for him by the car, already changed into fresh clothes and combed hair. Levi felt nasty in comparison, still in his travel clothes and smelling of beer and sweat. 

Petra looked up from her sandwich, her legs crossed as she sat on the cherry-red trunk, her legs glowing brightly pink. “There you are. I was beginning to think you got lost”,She said, chewing her food in one cheek. 

“Catch”,Mike said, then threw something in Levi’s direction. He caught it, then turned the mystery object over in his hand. 

“They were handing out magnets, but neither of us know any kids who might like it”,Mike said, gesturing to the both of them. 

“And you think I do?”He asked, curling his lip back in a scowl. 

The magnet was of a flower, with long white petals and a pink center. A black circle, the actual magnet, was sloppily glued to the back. 

“I know you don’t steal the sugar cubes for yourself”,Mike said with a half hearted shrug. Levi scowls, then stuffs the silly magnet in his pocket. Isabel would like it. Fuck. 

“Did you find anything?”Petra asked, swallowing her mouthful of chewed sandwich. 

“He’s here”,Levi answered, ignoring the smirk on Mike’s face. He decided he liked Mike better when they only talked once every week or so. 

“The whole town thinks he’s gone cuckoo.”

Petra’s face pulled into a grimace. “Oh, really? That’s a shame.”

“That he’s a loon or that the town agrees?”Mike asked, crossing his arms. The sun started to set on the horizon, the town feeling smaller and smaller by comparison. “Both”,Petra answered decisively. She stuffed the remains of her sandwich in her mouth, then leapt off the trunk. Her neat shoes clacked against the pavement, her hands clapping together to get the crumbs to fall off.

“I managed to get us all separate rooms this time. With a balcony”,She told them, as if that was the greatest news she’d heard in a while. Levi almost felt bad for her, stuck with two bitter old men who did nothing but insult and complain. 

Ah well. She decided to come along by herself.

Mostly.

They each took to their separate rooms. Levi locked the door behind him, a habit from home, and scrubbed himself under the shower until his skin was starting to sting.

Their balconies Petra had been so pleased about connected, and Levi made good use of the opportunity to hang his clothes out to air. 

They ate in a small diner near the town’s center, and the walk there was enough to make Levi regret changing into clean clothes. It was cool, but the dust was dry and stuck to the fabric, coloured his clothes gray. 

The residents didn’t seem bothered by it. They laughed with each other and spoke, though the tones were sharp and the few words Levi caught didn’t contain any kindness. A neat, safe kind of town, where everyone hated everyone else. 

“Was it just me or was that place kind of weird?”Petra asked as they walked back to the hotel. 

“Didn’t smell right”,Mike agreed, sniffing as if to clear his nose. 

“Don’t think this smells better. Everything feels fucking incestious in here,”Levi commented dryly, watching eyes follow them from a nearby window. Mike glanced over, and the curtains quickly drew shut. He sighed, then shook his head.

Levi didn’t sleep well that night. It was the second night in a row he was away from home, of course he didn’t sleep well. He woke up to check the locks more times than he bothered to count. If he used the blanket it was too hot, if he didn’t it was too cold. He didn’t care to find out what had him edge. Just knowing something did was more than enough for him to feel pissed about.

He fell asleep, spent his dreaming hours wandering a maze made from headstones on his own, and woke up in time to watch the sun rise.

Petra, looking much too fresh faced for someone who’d spend two days driving, knocked on his balcony sliding door. 

“There’s breakfast downstairs”,She said, her voice muffled through the glass and curtains. Levi yanked the curtains aside, one shoe still unlaced, then pulled the door open. 

“Good morning!”Petra said, her brown eyes annoyingly clear. 

Levi raised a hand, a poor mockery of a wave, and sank back down on his bed to tie his laces. “Slept poorly?”Petra asked, following him in. 

“Is it that obvious?”Levi shot back. 

“You look a little like a piano dropped on your face. Just a tad”,She wobbled her head, a playful smile around her lips. “Thanks”,Levi scowled, yanking at his shoelace. The knot tightened, the bow stretched. 

“No problem. Are you almost done? Mike’s holding out a table for us”,Petra peered around the room, as if she didn’t have an identical one next door. Probably. Levi gave a final yank on his shoelace, ran his fingers through his hair, and decided that would suffice for now. He’d have to cut it again soon. The ends were starting to tangle. 

They had stale toast topped with homemade jam. It tasted sweet. Levi burned his tongue on overboiled tea, and took good care of the burn with another layer of butter on his bread. 

There was no talk of splitting up, no digging around on anyone’s own. Whatever needed to be done, it’d be done together. That was as much a relief as it was suffocating. 

Petra and Mike made easy conversation as they walked through the town, the sun only just warming up the stone houses. The further they went from Stohess, the colder it seemed to get. Levi had packed his winter jacket, and he was starting to think it’d be the only thing he could really wear without freezing to death.

It’d stop smelling of home soon, he thought, which was a stupid thing to think. What did it matter how his clothes smelled? His clothes had smelled of lots of things. Candles, whiskey, rot, smoke, soap. 

Lots of things. It didn’t matter, not as long as they kept him somewhat warm. 

Or at least it shouldn’t.

The trailer park was a lot less shitty than he imagined. The trailers were mostly clean and well kept, and he spotted some benches and a small playground in the middle area. He’d imagined a lot more trash and rats wriggling through the dirt. There was a trailer park in Stohess. That one had made him question just how filthy a house could get before it became unliveable.

This looked almost pleasant in comparison.

They stopped at a low wooden house. Or cabin, if they let Mike label it. 

“Don’t you need a forest for a cabin?”Petra asked after knocking. Mike shrugged. His nostrils hadn’t stopped flaring since they got there. It was starting to become grating. 

The door opened, and a small man with scraggly hair came out. He introduced himself as Ed, and seemed happy enough to show them Vince’s trailer. 

“Very nice man, very nice, on his better days. So unfortunate, you know, so unfortunate”,He continued to mumble while walking, each word more meaningless than the last. 

He seemed to find a lot of things very sad, yet his voice was filled with levity. Levi enjoyed his presence less and less, feeling very relieved once they made it to the right trailer. 

“He might not be home. Always away, you know, always away. Oh yes, there he is”,Ed said while peeking inside. Levi reached to pull him back, it was fucking rude to peek, but he felt Petra’s eyes burn his hand before he could. 

“What?”He mouthed quietly. “Don’t”,Petra mouthed back, swinging her hand over her throat. 

Levi’s eyes locked with Mike’s, who snorted a laugh. “Bless you!”Ed said with a smile. 

“Do you think you could give us a moment?”Petra asked kindly, putting on her sweetest smile herself. That always did the job. Ed was very quick to nod and leave them on their own, telling them, but especially Petra, to stop by any time. Creep. He looked twice her age, if it wasn’t more.

Mike knocked this time. Levi hovered in the back, keeping a close eye on everything. He didn’t think Vince was crazy, personally, but he had a sad amount of information on the man. It’d be a fucking disaster if he really turned out as insane as the town claimed. 

“Don’t sniff him”,Petra warned. 

“I’m not an idiot. I’ll catch his scent later”,Mike answered. Petra sighed.

They waited for the door to open. It felt like it took a long time, but everything always felt longer in the cold. Finally the door opened, a slit about as wide as a penny, and a single eye peeked out through it. Levi could barely hear the man’s hasty voice, the sound as fast as it was hoarse.

“What is it? What do you want?”

“Good morning sir, I’m sorry we’re bothering you so early. You must be Vince. I’m Petra, and this is Mike, and that over there is Levi. We want to ask you some questions, if you’ll allow us.”

“Questions? Again? What is it you people want? You said you’d leave me alone! Haven’t I suffered enough?”The man shouted, then slammed the door shut. It vibrated in its frame, the handle dangerously close to falling off. 

“Hello? Excuse me?”Petra tried, knocking again. Mike shook his head, hands on his hips. 

“He won’t open Petra. He doesn’t want to see us”,He said. 

“He’s right. You’re scaring him”,Levi added, his eyebrows a tight line,”We can try to catch him later.”

“And when’s that supposed to be? Huh? Well I am sorry for not wanting to wait”,Petra said, knocking harder. “But I didn’t drive all this way just to have a door shut in my face. Hey! We’re not who you think we are!”She yelled through the door, hands pressed against the wood. 

Levi shared a startled look with Mike, who moved to lay a hand on Petra’s shoulder. She shrugged it off, resuming in a louder voice. Levi glanced over his shoulder. He saw some people in the distance, but if anyone heard they’d most likely just think they were insane. He wouldn’t call them wrong for it.

“We know about Sina! We know she was taken, and we know-”

“They gave him an empty casket to bury”,Levi supplemented, more out of shock than out of a desire to help. Maybe this’d get Petra to leave it. 

Mike’s frown deepened,”Really?”

Levi nodded once, and Mike turned his eyes away. 

“Shit.”

“We know she never made it home! We just want to know the truth! A girl's life depends on it”,Petra bounced her fist against the door, her mouth so close to the wood Levi would be surprised if it wouldn’t splinter.

“What do you want from me?”The voice was muffled through the door, strangled and broken. Petra stopped shouting. There was a strange noise, like something was being slowly choked. 

“Is he crying?”Levi asked, almost in awe. 

Mike’s nostrils fluttered,”Probably.”

Petra laid a hand on the doorframe, moving lower to the keyhole.

“I’m sorry I was shouting. But this is really important to us. We just want to talk about Sina, that’s all. We’ll leave you alone afterwards, and you’ll never have to think of us again”,Petra said in a softer tone, her face so close to the door it looked like she was hugging it. 

“Is this another one of your tricks? I’m tired. I’m so god damn tired. Just leave me alone!”

Tricks? Levi felt his frown deepen.

“We will. We just need to talk to you first. I’m so sorry we have to do this to you, Vince, but it’s the only way. I promise it’s not a trick. I swear it’s not”,Petra said, her mouth forming words faster than Levi could think. If it were up to him he’d have waited for the man and caught him somewhere he couldn’t hide. And if that didn’t work, he’d have broken the door.

For nearly a full minute, everything stayed quiet. 

And then-

“Is it really happening again?”

Petra nodded, a force of habit if Levi had to guess, then continued speaking in that soft tone of hers,”We think so. But we might be able to stop it, maybe. But we can’t do it alone. Please Vince, will you talk to us?”

Another stretch of silence.

The door creaked open again.

“You’ll leave when you’re done?”

“Yes.”

“You swear it? On your life?”

“Sure, yes. We swear.”

“Come in. Don’t- Don’t look at the mess.”

Chapter Text

The news leaked like a broken faucet. A rumour turned to a whisper, a whisper turned to gossip, gossip turned to agreement, agreement turned to fact. It started with three sources in the facility, who spread the news amongst their colleagues. Soon it spread, from lab to archive to admin to management, like a particularly stubborn cold that seemed all too eager to dominate. 

It wasn’t like the previous attempts at spreading rumours, which had come from one man with a big mouth that nobody really believed anyway.

This was calculated. This was planned.

“Have you heard of Reiss’ daughter?”Was the most commonly asked question in the facility. It was hard to escape it, impossible to contain. Erwin made a flashy attempt at stopping the rumor from growing out of control. He had to do something, otherwise it’d be his head on the chopping block. Unfortunately, it didn’t help. It had already spread too far out of his control, he said sadly when someone made a comment about it. There was nothing he could do.

Eyes followed Reiss wherever he went, hushed whispers trailing behind him like feathers of a dying bird. You’d almost feel bad for the man, if you didn’t know the rumours were true.

Then came the final nail in the coffin. An article. With an anonymous source that had directed them to pay the Reiss estate a visit. Rod Reiss had a second house in Shiganshina, the estate should be left unguarded. And so it happened that a team of journalists had stumbled upon Frieda Reiss, a woman in her thirties who spent her days combing her hair and drawing pictures. There was a picture of her, with her eyes unfocused and a knowing smile on her lips, the scar on her eyelid a small line of a terrible story.

The article was cruder than Erwin would have liked. It spent an awful lot of space detailing Frieda’s situation, something he’d expected, but had hoped against. Yes, it was shocking, and it was sure to disturb an audience, but Frieda had not deserved words this harsh. He comforted himself with the knowledge she’d never know what was being said about her, what the public thought of her situation. Maybe she’d even enjoy the attention.

Reiss’s name became a distasteful sound in the public opinion. Erwin caught a woman muttering about ‘men like him’ as he wandered the aisles of a grocery store. He saw people divert their eyes, and children being told to cross the road. There had been so many near-scandals recently. 

The Radium Cover-up was mentioned in the same article. Maybe, the journalists who wrote it speculated, maybe Frieda came too close. Maybe she knew something she shouldn’t. Maybe that’s why he rendered her unable to speak her mind. Everything she knew died with the majority of Frieda’s mind, her knowledge forever lost.

They made money off the article, Erwin heard later. Not a lot, not as much as they should’ve, but it was something. He watched the walls Reiss had carefully built for nearly half a century crumble, his secrets out in the open for all to see. The best thing was, Erwin thought to himself, the most advantageous, was that he had waited this long. It gave Reiss no time to respond, to fend off the allegations before the vote that would secure Erwin’s victory.

Reiss didn’t show up for work the day after. 

“Good riddance”,The receptionist said.

It had Erwin worried. He walked around that day as if his joints were wound up springs, every small hindrance evoking a stronger reaction than he was used to. Reiss didn’t have much time, no, but if he spoke…If he recovered faster….Erwin wasn’t ready for his secrets to be revealed yet. 

He slept badly those nights, waking up in pools of sweat multiple times before morning. Once he had woken up with his fingers digging into his bad arm, the nails so deep they left a row of small red wounds stamped into his skin. They had stayed with him for the remainder of the day, as damaged as they were.

But it would be worth it, he told himself, shivering as the sweat cooled down in the cold morning. It would all be worth it. 

“Don’t mind the mess”,Vince repeated, scratching his uneven beard. He stood in a living room that was filled to the brim with stuff. Posters hung on the walls, maps and pictures and documents. Petra kept her arms close to her body, her feet pressed together as she stared around the room with wide bulging eyes. It was filled with boxes, with documents, pictures, tapes. Levi recovered faster from the shock, walking to the nearest wall, which had a paper copy of a little girl’s picture on it. 

“Don’t worry about it”,He heard Mike say. The girl in the picture was holding a frog, her eyes staring straight into the camera. Her hands and feet were streaked with dirt, and the legs of her pair of pants were rolled up to her knees. She looked normal. Strikingly, terrifyingly normal.

“Is that her?”Levi asked while tapping the image. The child crinkled and bent under his finger. Vince looked over, then gave a jerky nod. 

“That’s her. My little girl”,He said, his voice strangled. “That one was taken at Founder’s lake. It was our last outing together. There’s a boat. Or there was, I haven’t gone back since.”

Vince’s eyes were small and puffy, sitting in a face that looked like it had been all but left behind by the person wearing it. The skin sagged, the hairs were frizzy and unkempt. He looked like he was permanently on the verge of tears, his red nose crooked like it’d been broken. Levi could bet he hadn’t left his house for anything but groceries in months.

“Do you visit the grave? I guess you don’t. The old thing looked like shit”,Levi said. Vince’s eyes widened, his mouth moving like a fish on dry land,”I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t visit a stone either. Not if the bones buried underneath weren’t right”,Levi said, studying the picture. Sina had been a small child, if the frog was anything to go by. Blond as well. 

“So you believe me? Really believe me?”Vince asked. 

“We all do”,Petra assured him earnestly. After throwing a sharp glance at Levi. Mike gave a nod. Vince visibly relaxed, his eyes closing in relief.

“We want to know about Mantis. Care to tell us what you know?”Levi asked a second later. They didn’t have time to waste, not when the answers to his questions were so close he felt like he could reach out and touch them. “Mantis”,Vince mouthed quietly. “Yes, of course. You said a girl went missing?” 

“Ymir, yeah. She’s been missing for over two weeks now. The chance of finding her is small, but it’s possible she’s still alive”,Mike told him. “Nine years old. Causasian, blonde. In the system”,Levi added. 

“So she fits the pattern”,Vince sighed. Petra and Mike shared a look. 

“I’d hoped they’d stop. It was quiet for so long.”

“Why don’t you start at the beginning? I think we might be getting a little lost here”,Petra asked, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. She seemed relieved, if a little unsettled. All this effort hadn't been for nothing after all.

“What? Oh, yeah. Yeah. You might want to take a seat”,Vince mumbled, picking up a pile of boxes from an old leather sofa. Petra gathered the remaining paper, straightened them, handed them over. 

“You’ve spent quite some time on this”,She noted. Vince blankly stared back. “We don’t often see this sort of thing. Usually the families we talk to aren’t this proactive”,Mike said, sinking into the sofa’s cushions. The old leather crinkled. Levi opted to keep standing.

He already felt like the piles were closing in on him, he didn’t need to make them tower over him as well.

“I guess I should start with…No, you wouldn’t get that. What is it you need to know exactly?”Vince asked, dragging a box over for himself to sit on. 

“You could start with the day Sina went missing”,Petra said, her voice quiet.

Vince gave a nod, and started talking.

It was like Levi had already heard before. The girl went missing, an empty casket showed up. There had been letters, which was news to him, a series of updates and questions exchanged between Vince and the people that had taken Sina. He was handed a couple, and passed them to Petra without sparing either a glance. 

Then Vince got to the part of the story Levi hadn’t heard before: How he discovered Mantis.

It was a long story, one Levi found hard to follow. Vince had been chasing paper trails and manufacturing bills for months before he found a real lead. IMonths of driving up and down the country, chasing a contractor here, a contact there. He'd given up everything in his search. It was hard not to admire the dedication, but Vince acted like it was only natural, doing a whole lot of mumbling and shrugging. Didn’t change that he lost his house for his search, or his friends, or the respect of the town. Not a small price to pay on a hunch. 

“Why didn’t you leave?”Mike asked at one point. 

“Everything she liked was here. I don’t have a real grave to visit, or a body. What else would you expect me to do?”

The question lingered, but none of them answered. Levi knew what he'd do.

“Anyway, it was in the spring of ‘49 that I found another one”,Vince said, tearing a picture of the wall. For a moment Levi thought it was of Sina, but on closer inspection it didn’t look like her at all. The face was longer, the limbs sturdier, the hair looser. She had a sweet, open sort of face, no matter how much she was trying to look serious. It might have been the only picture she’d ever taken.

“Maria Lenz”,Vince told him. “She was seven when she disappeared, in ‘45, but she’d have been older than Sina. In fact-”He said, this time reaching for a sketch of another girl,”Out of the three that went missing, she’d have been the oldest. This is Rose Fritzgeralds. She went missing a year after Maria. This is a sketch by her teacher, she was never photographed”,Vince said.

If Maria had had a kind face, Rose had a sad one. Her mouth tipped down, and the tight frown she held her eyebrows in was still visible, even if the pencil was starting to blur. Her hair was bluntly cut in a line below her jaw, completely flat and falling straight next to her face. 

“I only learned of her years later. She lived in an orphanage, you see. Her parents died in a fire. Her disappearance was reported, but the case was closed not long after, when a casket surfaced. It’s buried in her hometown, just south of Trost.”

Vince rubbed his mouth, looking a million years older,”That’s how they all went, you know. They went missing, nothing came of it, then one day there’s a spot to bury them and a cheap story to tell and we’re just supposed to roll over and take it.”

“Why weren’t the cases ever reopened? If multiple girls went missing-”

“They lived too far apart, and you know how slow news used to travel. Or well. Maybe you don’t. But it went slowly, I can promise you that”,Vince eyed Petra like an old eagle staring down a spry young pigeon. Petra bit her lip, then gave a nod. 

“You have to remember, most stations didn’t use radios yet. Phone’s were still pretty rare. You can blame that if you’d like”,Vince said. He looked down, scratched behind his ears. “You don’t buy it”,Levi stated. Vince looked startled, then nodded.

“Shit, no. Of course I don’t! Who would? I mean, it doesn’t make any sense, does it? The trail’s still hot, there’s witnesses who saw suspicious cars driving around, yet all the cases were closed as soon as they were opened? It’s not right. Either the cops are completely useless, or there’s something fishy going on.”

“Now I don’t know that much about Mantis. Whoever they are, they are ridiculously powerful. If everything we speculated about turns out to be true, then they are both rich and influential enough to cover up not one, not two, but four disappearances. That sort of thing takes an immense amount of money to pull off. There were also these bills”,Vince grabbed a handful of papers,”Food, water, gas, medicine”He paused, looking up. “They ordered enough to sustain a small village, all signed by Mantis. We are talking about over a million dollars here, it’s insane.”

“And then around the time Maria went missing there was a sudden purchase of clothes. Children’s clothes. All the deliveries were sent to different pick up points, nobody has ever delivered straight to Mantis. Why? Why keep it hidden?”

Vince strode across the room in two large steps, stopping before a giant map of the country. “Maria”,He pointed at a red dot. “Rose”,Another dot, higher on the map. “Sina”,He said, quieter this time, gently tapping a small town. “And where did you say your girl was from?”

“Stohess, we’re all from Stohess”,Petra jumped in. “Stohess”,Vince repeated, putting his finger on the map. He drew a dot next to his finger. 

“You came a long way just to talk to me”,He said wryly. 

“Yeah, well. I had a good source”,Levi answered. 

“Alright. So these are the girls. And these”,He gestures to a bunch of green dots. “These are the pick up locations.” 

“What’s the throughline?”Petra asked, joining the man’s side. She barely came up to his shoulder, but he recoiled like she’d punched him. 

“The main roads go like this-”,Petra said out loud, one hand on her chin. Levi withdrew, walking around the trailer instead. There were cans hidden amongst the papers. Some had fallen over and left sticky stains on the cheap flooring. He sneered at them, careful not to put his shoes down in the wrong place.

He turned to look over his shoulder, and now Mike had joined them, staring at the map through focused eyes.

He briefly let himself wonder what it was they saw when they looked at a map, or a book. It sure looked interesting. 

Who was he kidding.

No it didn’t. That was the part of him that didn’t enjoy being left out of the loop speaking. It looked boring as hell. 

“Mitras”,He heard Mike say. Levi let out a ‘huh?’ and turned around, his eyebrows furrowed. “Well I’ll be damned. I think I know where they are”,Mike said, brushing a hand over his chin. “See this-”,He measured with his hand,”Is just as far as this. And these-”,Mike gestured broadly at the green dots,”Are all connected to the main roads to Mitras. If they were to drop them over here-”He made a broad gesture towards one of the empty stretches,”-for example they’d add a full day of travel. It might look closer, but they’d lose a lot of time.”

The others were silent, watching the map as if they were seeing it for the first time.

“So we’re headed for Mitras”,Levi concluded. Petra stayed quietly, looking at the map. “Yes”,She eventually said. “I think we are.”

Erwin was back in Hange’s lab. His papers were splayed out on the table, his briefcase open but untouched at his feet. Hange was almost unnaturally quiet, working in complete concentration. Their eyes were nearly invisible behind the thick glasses of their safety goggles, their fingers hidden in neat white gloves.

“You’re doing it again”,They told him without looking away from the tube in their hands. A pale liquid swerved inside, catching the light and turning it yellow. 

Erwin startled, looking up momentarily. “Hm?”

“The scratching. You’re doing it again”,Hange told him, their voice tipping into annoyance. Erwin blinked, then looked at his arm. Ah. He had indeed been scratching. Damn it. Scratching his skin left marks that faded, but if he managed to damage his sheathing it’d be an expensive joke to replace it. 

“I didn’t realize”,He said. 

“You’re awfully wound up, aren’t you? What’s up?”Hange asked. They put the tube down, mixing something new into the liquid. Erwin rubbed his forehead, irritated at himself he had allowed himself to be read like that. It wasn’t like him, he knew that. It was temporary. It would all be over tonight. One way or another.

“The vote is tonight”,He said. Hange stiffened, then looked at him for the first time. 

“Oh yeah, that’s today”,They said quietly. “It’s not like you to be nervous. Get a hold of yourself”,Hange scolded, bend over their liquids and fluids and powders.

“I’m not nervous”,Erwin protested, looking at the wall. It was true, he wasn’t nervous. He just hadn’t slept well. Had woken up too early. Had dreamed in a language he shouldn’t have, had woken calling the name of someone he shouldn’t.

“No, of course not. You’re just scared and stubborn, silly me. How could I forget? Shit-”,Hange spilled a drop, and immediately walked away for towels and disinfectant.  

Erwin waited for them to reappear. The clock ticked on. He wouldn’t be late. He had enough time to spare. His shoes were polished, his hair was neat and smoothed out.

There was no need to rush.

“How’s it coming along?”Erwin asked once Hange had reappeared. “Fine”,They answered, their lips tight. They scrubbed the surface, their eyes obscured but not looking at him anyway. “Just fine?”He echoed. 

“What do you want from me Smith? It’s fine. You’re the one who needs to be talked about, not me.”Hange rubbed the bridge of their soft hooked nose, their mouth a grimace. 

“I don’t want anything from you, Hange”,Erwin said, slightly baffled at the outburst. “God, I just- I’m fine. Everything is fine. I’d appreciate it if you kept that long nose of yours out of my business and trust me on this”,They said.

“Of course. I apologise”,Erwin told them, tilting his head a little. The words were hollow, but then again, which ones weren’t? All he seemed to do recently was speak words he didn’t mean, drag out secrets that should have been left alone.

“So. What’s up?”Hange resumed their usual mannerisms, though their motions were tighter and more controlled than they usually would be. “As I’ve told you, they’re going to vote today. One way or another, it’s going to be over tonight”,Erwin told them. He ran a hand over his hair, feeling the slick hairs firmly in place under his fingers.

“Aha”,Hange said, holding up a white test tube against the light. 

“Scared you’ll lose?”

“I’m not entirely sure anymore. I don’t think so”,Erwin said, looking at the table. It had small scratches in the surface. They each reflected light differently, he noted, feeling his eyes unfocus. Was he afraid? How strange was it, to make his acquaintance once again.

“Well, I think you better get going”,Hange said, not turning around to face him. “I have time”,He said after a look at the clock. It would be another twenty minutes before the meeting began. “Erwin. Please. Trust me on this, you want to be on time today.”

Something in their voice made him not want to argue. It was heavy, almost grim. So far from the Hange he knew. There must've been something else going on, he thought. And if Hange wasn’t ready to share it, he’d leave them alone. They were his employee, not his friend. A colleague whose company he enjoyed. He couldn’t let himself forget that.

“Wish me luck”,Erwin said as he gathered up his papers, then slit a paperclip over the corner. It snapped, and he cursed quietly while reaching for another one. 

“I’ll cross my fingers”,Hange said, their focus still pointed at their work. He supposed he could only be glad they were so focused.

The walk down the hallway felt strangely empty. He had enough time to spare, and his path felt much emptier now that he had time to pay attention. An assistant looked at him, then quickly turned their eyes away. His footsteps were louder than he recalled them being, the sound of his clothes rubbing together as loud as a pair of voices to him. I am Erwin Smith. I live in Shiganshina. I-

He wasn’t alone in the meeting room. He cut off his own thoughts, plastered a smile on his face and a nod in his walk, and sat down beside Nile. 

“You’re here early”,Nile remarked, his eyelids halfway closed. “So are you”,Erwin answered. “Hange didn’t have a last minute update for you?”

Erwin shook his head,”They are busy in the lab. I am certain they’ll deliver results soon.”

Nile snickered, opening his eyes. The man’s suit was crinkled, his eyes carrying dark circles underneath. 

“You’ve been saying that for weeks now. How long are we supposed to wait?”

“Science takes time. Would you rather they rush through things, and deliver subpar results?”Erwin asked, a stern look on his face. 

“You’ve got me there”,Nile sighed,”I guess we’ll have to hope they’re done before the war’s over.”

“It’ll take as long as it has to. Hange is not the type to delay without reason.”

Nile considered this, then looked away again, his eyelids lowering. “You know better than I do, I suppose”,He grumbled. 

“You’re invited to dinner, by the way. Sorry, I forgot to mention it earlier. I’d say we have dinner first, then grab a drink afterwards, just the two of us, what do you say?”

It wasn’t completely unexpected, but Erwin still found himself look up in surprise. “Was it Marie’s idea or yours?”He asked. 

“What do you think? Marie of course. She thought you might need it after today”,Nile said, glancing up slightly. 

“Marie’s a smart woman”,Erwin answered. More people came in, and Nile changed the topic to something more trivial. They spoke about workplace drama, about bad coffee and worse tea as the room filled up. When Rod Reiss walked in, his eyes briefly flickered over to Erwin. They were filled with emotion, though Erwin couldn’t see them long enough to pin point all of them. The hate however, was clearly painted across his face. Erwin could deny and delegate blame all he wanted, Reiss knew it was him.

He’d be an idiot if he didn’t.

Also less of a problem. 

Despite everything, Erwin felt the sweet flavor of challenge touch his senses. The knowledge that everything hinged on his word, that it would all end up depending on his ability to manipulate the room into following him. The stakes felt lower, but Erwin knew they were astronomically higher than he’d ever meddled in before. Somehow, that knowledge filled his stomach with butterflies. 

Pyxis started the meeting off. His white mustache twitched, his eyes flickered with a light that danced from Erwin to Reiss and back, keeping the two of them under close watch. Erwin could hardly blame him for that. 

“-And now to the main topic of debate. 

I’m sure we all remember the ongoing discussion of the budget cuts in the Research Department. I hope we can have this matter wrapped up today, and may whatever we decide on today be final. I for one can’t wait to get this over with”,Pixis sighed. 

Erwin stayed quiet, letting the man speak. The other men nodded and mumbled, nobody speaking a word. He nodded when Pyxis asked him if he wanted to say something, and walked up to the front of the room. Once again, he kept his words short and concise. Nobody enjoyed listening to someone who bored them. He reminded them of previous victories, of the importance of science in the country’s history. Silently, he wished Hange had something concrete, something that was explicit and undeniable as progress. 

Still, the effect his words had on the room were visible. Bald heads gleaming as they nodded, gray beards crinkled around placid smiles.

Rod Reiss’ eyes were hard and laserfocused on his, but that hardly mattered.

To Erwin, he was just one man, one man with no time or power to use against him.

He thanked them for their attention, and graciously let Pyxis retake his position as head speaker. The old man gave him a nod, then scraped his throat,“I suggest we start voting-”

“Wait!”

All heads, including Erwin’s turned. Reiss had stood up, his face a picture of grimaced desperation. His eyes were wide, his eyebrows in a deep frown and his mouth was open, showing his teeth. 

“I have something to say”,The man continued. Erwin felt his insides grow heavy. Now? When his victory was closer than ever? Was Reiss trying to win, or was he just trying to inflict as much pain as possible?

Whatever the case, he kept his eyes close on Reiss as the man was granted the space to speak. 

Reiss didn’t approach the head of the table, though, instead walking to the back. He turned the lights off, and turned on the projector in the back. “I’m sorry to hijack the meeting like this”,Reiss told them, his voice booming in the dark. He was close to Erwin, so impossibly close. The projector showed a static gray, buzzing like a colony of tiny, wirthing bees. 

“I had wanted to do this more elegantly, but well, here we are”,Reiss said,”Before we vote, before we pour our money away, I feel like I have to let all of you in on a few facts about the man you’re all ready to follow.”

The projector clicked. It took a second for the image to become clear, and when it did, Erwin felt as if the breath had been knocked out of his lungs. His heart beat in his ribcage, painfully, sorely, slamming into his ribcage. 

Uns’re Fahne flattert uns voran!

The other men gasped, some mumbled, some turned to Reiss in confusion. Twenty boys stood on the picture, twenty bright smiles and cheery eyes.

In die Zukunft ziehen wir Mann für Mann!

It wasn’t right. It wasn’t true. It wasn’t real. This was a nightmare. That must’ve been it, Erwin thought, it can not be, it can’t. 

The twenty boys wore brown shirts, and black shorts that barely reached their knees. They seemed to be between ten to fourteen years of age, the younger ones in the front, the older ones behind and at their sides.

Wir marschieren für Hitler durch Nacht und durch Not, mit der Fahne der Jugend, für Freiheit und Brot!

“As you can see, this is a picture taken circa 1943. Smith’s mother held on to it all these years. Really, a nice lady if there’s ever been one. If only she and her son weren’t filthy Nazi’s”,The projector clicked again, this time zooming in one a singular face in the group. Erwin didn’t want to look up. He wanted to laugh and claim Reiss’ claims as outrageous. He wanted to leave. He wanted to wind back time. 

Instead, he looked up. And stared straight into his own brightly smiling face, his own eyes drained of colour in the picture. That’s not me, he wanted to say. That is not what I am, that has not been what I am since I was twelve and a child. 

I was a child. 

He realized he couldn’t breathe. He felt Nile’s eyes glued to his face, studying every miniscule motion he made. He didn’t know what his face looked like. All he knew was what it once was, in black and white and projected on the wall. 

“I-”He didn’t know what he was going to say. Not that it mattered. 

“I don’t think you have any right to talk, meinen frind”,Reiss sneered. “But if that wasn’t enough for you-”,The projector clicked again. 

Whatever Reiss showed couldn’t possibly be worse than what he had already done, could it?

It was. At the very least he could have explained, he could have made them empathize with his being born a devil and trying to atone, but this-

The picture displayed him, twice-armed and in his old uniform. His left hand was lose, his right curled firmly around that of another man’s. 

“This was captured the evening our head of research lost his arm. He was meant to be on guard duty, but as you can see here-”The projector merrily clicked on, showing picture after picture from multiple perspectives as Erwin led another man deeper into the ship. Each were stamped with a time and date, labelling them as security footage. 

“I think we all know about the disaster that took place in Kareness”,Reiss said,”But what you all didn’t know, was that it was all caused by Smith indulging in sin! With another man no less. Three civilians died, may I remind you, because this man, this selfish sinful devil, decided to betray both his nation and God to sleep with another man. If it comes out this board decided to chose the side of this- this deviant over the values of our nation, we'll all be damned!”

“How can you trust another word he says? How can we know he doesn’t want to take the money for himself? Clearly he cares for nothing but his own pleasure!”

“That’s enough!”Pyxis shouted. He was the only one who didn’t look on in outrage at the reveal, instead regarding the room with eyes that were black in the little light. The mumbling went quiet, and Reiss startled. 

Erwin hadn’t been aware of his own expression up until that point. He assumed it was its usual impassive, blank, slate. However, when he attempted a check of his features, he felt a smile straining his lips. Loose and broad, unchecked as if he were a child. If anything, this open hostility- It was a release. It was interesting. 

It was fun. 

The realization terrified him. What was wrong with him? He forced his face to comply, to straighten out his features. 

Pyxis glared at him, and at Reiss, and then at everyone else in the room.

“I am appalled. At both of you! What were you thinking? Here? Now? Have you lost your God damned minds?”

The man bounded over to the projector, and a second later they were all bathed in light again. Erwin was keenly aware of the amount of eyes that had turned to look at him, of the stares that now held nothing but contempt and fear. He straightened his expression. 

"It was in the best interested of the-"

“If you had concerns, you should have gone through the proper channels like an adult”,Pyxis bellowed. His fist collided with Reiss’ face, the man letting out a pained gasp as he was flung back. 

“I did what I thought was best for-”

“For you. You have been embezzling funds for weeks now, Reiss”,Erwin heard himself say, the words falling out his mouth without his oversight. That was alright, they were good words to say. 

“I’d recommend against speaking, Smith”,Pyxis warned.“I don’t much care what you did when you were young. That was out of your hands, and I don’t think any of us can blame you for those. But if the story Karaness really is true-”

“It is! I assure you! It’s all true”,Reiss shouted out, covering the part of his face Pyxis had hit him on.

Pyxis sighed, massaging his forehead. “I think I’m going to have to ask you to leave, Erwin. If the word spreads we have a homosexual on the board- With a past as dark as yours- God, the consequences would be unimaginable. I advise against making this any harder as it needs to be.”

Erwin felt as if he were moving through a dream. He had lost everything before, over and over, but every time it came as a shock. He managed to keep his features in line, not showing the effect of this meeting on his psyche. 

“Will I lose my position?”He managed to ask. 

“We’ll see.”

Erwin returned his words with a nod. Was it a choice, or was it just memory that did it? Did he choose to walk, or was he listening because it was what he had always done, what he was supposed to do? It was as if he were watching his body move from one of the chairs around the table. It was strange, how this had ended up going. In the end, it wasn’t really his own doing that had undone him. It had been the flaws of other people, the pervasive need to remember and share their knowledge. Next time, he would make sure there would be no other people to dig up his flaws. 

Erwin was had been bested. He couldn’t let it happen again. 

He hesitated in the doorway, turning around a fraction of a circle to ask a final question,”Does your wife know? About Historia?”,He cocked his head, the puzzle pieces clicking together,”No, I suppose she doesn’t. You wouldn’t want your wife to know about the bastard you conceived, would you?”

“I don’t think she’d want more attention, especially now that Frieda has been made public. She reads in German, did you know that? Your Historia I mean. Now, I might have been born in Germany, but at least I didn’t sleep with a Nazi. Good day, gentlemen”,He pulled the door shut before he could hear the fallout of his words.

There was a chair next to the room. He sat down. He stared at the floor, not hearing, not seeing. It was as if the world passed on around him, and he himself was frozen. The sky outside darkened. The sounds of the facility shutting down slowly died. The lights were turned off. All but the one in his piece of hallway, illuminating him and just him. He scratched his arm until his fingernails stung, then unbuckled the straps keeping his prosthetic on and continued on the soft flesh. 

“Hey”,Nile’s voice sounded after an eternity that passed by in a heartbeat. 

“Did we win?”Erwin asked, his voice hoarse.

“You’re an asshole. Everyone hates your guts”,Nile said, sinking down to the ground besides him. 

He didn’t look at Erwin, but he didn’t avoid him either. That must’ve mattered to someone. Erwin found it hard to care. 

Nile didn’t seem to let him off the hook just yet,“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Erwin tried to think of the reason, then shrugged,”It didn’t matter. Did we win?”

Nile sighed, his voice a low grumble,“Like I said, everyone hates you. But yeah. You won.”

“Then it was worth it”,Erwin stated, looking at his hand. It seemed almost unnaturally white. It had to have been worth it.

Going to Mitras, Levi discovered, took longer than he had expected. They had to stay in a shitty motel again, eat bad food again, sit quietly in a car again. If he would never have to sit in a car again, well he wouldn’t be a happy man, but he’d be a lot more pleased than he was now. Lucky for him, this motel was in the city. 

“We’ll drive back through Shiganshina”,Mike had told them, tracing the road with his finger,”And then we’ll continue down from there. We should get there sometime tomorrow.”

So they’d set off, still on a hunch, but with a lot less second thoughts this time. They were driving around anyway, Petra had shrugged. If it was only a day’s worth of travel…

Their current motel was still small, though a lot less busy. It was on the outskirts of the city, with stories and bars and such lined up on both sides. It almost felt like a neighbourhood in Stohess, but of course it wasn’t. It was too neat for that. Too measured. He hadn’t told Mike and Petra he would be going out, not directly. He had taken a key, mumbled something about not staying out late, and they hadn’t bothered to ask further questions. 

“Do you need someone with you?”Petra had asked, holding a hand of cards in her slim hands. 

“I’ll be fine”,Levi had answered, and he had closed the door behind him. 

He hoped they’d get to Mitras soon. He didn’t know much of the place, only that all big names lived there, and that was a city trice the size of Stohess. Fritz, Tybur, Zackly. All big names with more money than they could bother to count, settled right in the middle of Mitras. They used to send men to Stohess for goods every few months. Rotten fucks. Dealing who knows what and still appearing on the radio the next day, with their army of suck ups and their shit-faced lawyers.

He hoped they’d find Ymir there. No, he didn’t hope. He fucking needed to find Ymir there. Ymir, and hopefully something that pointed in the direction of the others. Rose, Maria, Sina. Who knows, for all he knew they were still alive. 

His feet carried him down the street, past the different venues and stores. He made a stop at a night store, wandered around the aisles, stopped at the magnets for a minute. He could get another one for Isabel. She’d appreciate having two things to hang on whatever metal they had in their home. They looked like crap though. He kept on walking. She deserved better than cheap plastic on shitty magnets.

Levi kept walking, the orange lights blocking out the black sky above his head. It was cold. It was cold everywhere, but Shiganshina seemed to take a sick sort of pleasure in keeping the frost as long as possible. There was a place at the end of the road, the kind with a blinking red “open” sign and a neon billboard on the front. Warm air spilled out from the door, making it feel for a second like he wasn’t freezing alive in a city that seemed determined to make winter last forever. Putain, he was cold. He wondered, idly, if Ymir was feeling cold as well.

He shook his head, as if that would make him stop thinking of her. He would find her soon, he was close now, closer than they’d ever been. 

He went in. Inside there was music, and there were people. The air was thick and hot, the music shit for as far as he could judge. He slipped through the people, elbowing himself onto a sticky bar stool. What his plan was, he didn’t know, but well he was here now. Might as well make the most of it.

He checked his pocket before ordering, finding a paper bill. Part of his pay, Petra had said. Sure, fine. One night wouldn’t hurt. 

The lights were dim, and he could hardly see the bartender as he ordered his drink. He could see the man shake his head, looking him up and down. “I don’t serve minors”,He said. “Shouldn’t be a problem. I’m not”,Levi answered, feeling himself get irritated. “Yeah yeah, that’s what they all say. Can you show me some ID?”

Fuck. No. 

“I forgot mine”,Levi said. “Then I can’t serve you. Sorry kid”,The bartender shrugged, then turned around. Levi opened his mouth to argue back, but a heavy hand suddenly landed on his shoulder. 

“What drink do you want?”A voice asked. Levi froze, then slapped the hand away, shrinking in on himself,”What’s it to you?”

“I’ll buy it for you. If you pay me back afterwards”,The voice continued. It was low and smooth, the sort you’d hear from a major, or a teacher. 

Levi forced himself to relax, and gave a small nod,”Sure, why the hell not”,He told the other his order, and watched closely the whole time as the drink was poured, transported, and landed before him. The last thing he needed was to be roofied in here. 

“You’re not from around here, are you?”The man asked, his face obscured in the dark. “Can you tell?”Levi asked in return, his voice sounding strange in this thick oppressive air. 

The other wobbled his head, sitting down at the stool next to Levi’s. He was still impossible to see, not that Levi minded. They sat in silence, or rather, they both drank in silence. Levi didn’t care much about the guy, and why should he? He’d sat next to more strangers at bars than he could count. This one was no different. 

The glasses the other ordered kept coming. Levi did notice that. There was a near constant exchange of liquor and empty glasses going on next to him. No wonder the man had been so eager to buy Levi his drink, he was too shit-faced to think. He hid it well, though, Levi had to give him that. You could barely tell going by his voice. 

“Bad day?”Levi asked. “You wouldn’t believe it”,The other replied. Levi couldn’t see much, but he could see the man was tall and broad, with a set of impressive shoulders, which were hunched forward like a kicked dog’s. 

“So you decided to get plastered? Smart. Real clever”,Levi remarked wryly, tilting back his own glass. He only had money for one, so he’d have to make it last as long as he could. 

“There are only so many things a man can do to forget”,The other sighed. Dramatic. 

Levi rolled his eyes, crossing his arms on the surface of the bar. 

“You really are over eighteen, right?”The man asked a moment later. “What, now you’re feeling bad? Get a grip”,Levi scowled,“What’s it to you?”

There was silence, and then another sigh. The man rubbed a large hand over his face, messing up his hair even further. Blond strands fell over his fingers, catching the light in a way that made them look white. 

“I don’t want to go to jail, that’s what”,The other mumbled. “Jail’s not that bad once you get used to it”,Levi lied, taking a strange sort of glee in scaring the guy. He reached back for his glass, twirling the amber liquid around. “I’m not a kid, so quit whining. You’re the one acting like a brat right now.”

“Alright, alright. Yes sir”,The other said, another fucking sigh in his words. Levi was starting to really get annoyed at the guy right now. “So why are you here?”

Levi shrugged,”Just wanted a drink.” 

A laugh, a quiet one, and it only lasted a second,”No, in Shiganshina. It’s not exactly a spot designed for tourists.”

“Passing through. I don’t plan on staying”,He said. The song playing behind him ended, and a worse one picked up in its place. “Ah. Where are you headed?”

“You’re a real nosy bastard, you know that?” Levi suddenly felt wary of this strange man and his questions. Mantis had eyes everywhere, Vince had been very fucking clear about that. Who knows, maybe this tipsy blond bargoer with his messed up hair and polished shoes was a local spy. There was a base of some sort just outside the city. It was probably crawling with spies and agents.

“Am I? I hardly noticed”,The other was quiet for a few seconds. “Did I overstep? If so, I apologise.”

Levi bristled, quickly darting his eyes away. “No, it’s fine”,He said. 

The both of them went quiet again. Levi’s eyes slowly made their way back to the man, landing on a well shaped arm, transitioning into a strong shoulder. Not an ugly sight, but he suspected everyone looked better in the dark with shitty lights.

“Do you think I’m a devil?”The other asked suddenly. Levi frowned, the question as unexpected as it was nonsensical. 

“Depends. What’d you do?”He asked. 

“Now who’s nosy? I did something, when I was young. I could’ve chosen to go against it, but I didn’t, and I made a mistake and it hurt the people closest to me”,The man's voice trailed off, and once again he rubbed a hand over his face. He was starting to talk like all drunk men did, thick tongued with his words slurring together.

“

If that’s all-”,Levi said, giving a half hearted shrug. But the man wasn’t done yet.

“-And then I made another mistake, and more people died, and now I won but I’m not sure if it even matters anymore. It was one time. Just one time, and so many suffered because I-”

“Oi oi oi, stop that”,Levi leaned back, his face pulling into a disgruntled frown. All he wanted was a drink. “I don’t know what sort of shit you pulled, but it sure as hell isn’t going to be solved by crying about it. Crisse, do you cry at every stone in your shoe? I don’t know who the fuck you are, but you sound fucking exhausting.”

He felt his skin crawl with discomfort, and looked away. “Yes, yes, you must be correct. I apologise.”

“You want my opinion? Go home and spare the rest of us your moaning”,Levi said. “You’re not very kind”,The other man remarked,”I just apologised.”

“I don’t know you. I don’t care about you. Why should I be kind?”

Levi tilted the rest of his drink back, then pulled out the bill and shoved it in the other's hand. “For what it’s worth-”,He said while gliding off the stool,”You ain’t a devil. You’re just a man. That’s worse.”

He didn’t look behind him, nor did the other say something back. He walked back to his motel, showered, made plans with Petra and Mike.

Then they went to sleep.

They left the next day, and almost made it to Mitras when the news broke through the crackled car radio.

Their world, with all its bars and ugly sides and silly magnets, had ended.

Chapter Text

Please Father, who art in heaven-

The car made a tight turn. The girl held her breath, feeling her body rock against the underside of the seat.

I am afraid -please please please- watch over me-

Her blonde hair had become tangled in the metal. She couldn’t untangle it, not now. She had to stay quiet. She had to stay silent. The man behind the wheel hummed as he drove, his expensive suit neat and his hair in a low ponytail trailing down his back. 

Give me the strength to stay quiet, please, please let him not notice me-

She bit on her hand as a piece of sharp metal dug into her shoulder. It stung, so badly she would have cried if she’d been able to. Her mouth was dry, her eyes open. She was going to make it. She would make it out. She could see the corner of the window, seeing lights pass by outside.

I know I am not supposed to ask selfish things, but please God, I need help-

The man behind the wheel had not noticed she hadn’t been in her bed that evening. He had not noticed that the window in the cellar had been broken. He had not noticed a lot of things, and she could only be grateful for that. Her leg stung from the glass she had crawled over, but it had stopped bleeding. She was grateful for that as well. 

Give me the strength to survive the night. Amen. 

The car slowed down. She stayed still, holding even her breath. A gate rolled by in the window. She felt like crying all over again. Another gate? Where were they? 

Lights blinked on top of the fence, red, then blue, then red again. 

The car drove a little bit further. Then it stopped. The front car door opened. She felt the cold air lick her skin, the nightgown the man had given her weeks prior not doing anything to keep her warm. It was made for houses and hospitals and dark basements, not winter nights. 

She waited until she heard the doors lock, and then stayed still for what felt like an entire year. Her leg and shoulder ached. Her arm ached. Her eye, what had they done to it? It felt liquidy, droopy, and it ached.

She closed her eyes, letting her breath wash over her hands. It was alright. She would survive this. She would run away, and she would escape, and then she would go back to her mama who she hadn’t seen in years and everything would be alright again.

She couldn’t remember what her mama looked like, but she remembered how soft her arms had been, and how sweet she had smelled. 

She forced her eyes open, and carefully came out of her hiding spot on the floor of the car, her shoulder stinging from the harsh metal. She didn’t see anyone out the window. The car was all alone, except for one other that stood in the most central spot. That was alright, it looked empty. She pulled up the knob, and the door opened with a soft “click”. Her heart thumped as she pushed the door open, her bare feet sliding through the air before they landed on the icy ground. She touched a hand to her hair, feeling how tangled it had gotten.

It used to come to her hips, now it barely made it past her shoulders. That was alright, that was fine, she would fix it. She would fix everything after tonight. She walked, her leg and shoulder stinging painfully with every step. 

Her feet felt like clumps of ice. She hadn’t had time to go back for her socks. It was escape now or escape never, and Ymir wanted to escape more than she wanted warm feet. The gate was closed. Steel wire that crackled and had sharp edges. She touched it, almost letting out a pained cry when the electricity shot through her arm. Her teeth tore through her tongue like it was nothing, keeping her quiet. When she opened her mouth, a small pink part of it fell out of her mouth. She studied it curiously, prodding the flesh as it lay on the ground. She was more breakable recently. Ever since the needles had started, she felt like everything hurt.

This was new, though.

She was falling apart. That was fine. She knew that if she’d just make it out, if she’d just make it home, she would stop breaking. 

She knew she couldn’t stay there. 

Soon the man would be back, and then he would see her, and then he would take her home with him again and she would never escape. She had to hide. Yes, that was it, she just had to hide!

She walked towards the building. It was yellow bricked, and low, with tall windows and guards at the doors. She couldn’t go there. They didn’t see her now, because she was in the dark and they were in the light, but they’d see her if she got closer. They wouldn’t help her, she knew that as well as she knew she needed help. She could only rely on herself for help. She stayed in the dark, avoiding the lights like they would burn her.

Her feet were starting to sting, as if she were walking on needles instead of concrete.

She saw a door. Would there be guards inside? Maybe. But maybe not. The door wasn’t guarded, the man with the gun standing a while away. She thought he might be talking to someone. It didn’t matter. She walked to the door, tried the handle, and opened it.

It was warmer inside. She rubbed her feet until they didn’t feel like they would fall off, then kept on walking. The tiles were also cold, but not as painful as the ground outside had been. It was darker here, though. She couldn’t see very well. She touched a hand to her cheek, and when she pulled it back there was blood on it. Oh.

That wasn’t good. But she’d survive, and she’d find a doctor, a real one, a good one, and he would fix her.

She walked into the hallway, sticking close to the wall. It was so dark. She was so cold. She wandered on and on, but all the doors were locked. She’d have to find a place to hide soon.

“You can not stop now!”

She froze, took a small step back. No, no, no. Not him. 

“It is too dangerous to exist, are you mad? If this falls into the wrong hands-”

“I did not pay you to worry about the wrong hands! I paid you to perfect the formula!”

A bang, a cry, a thud against the flood. A woman, or a man, or something in between hit the floor. She saw a brown ponytail, square glasses, a white coat.

She stood frozen, her heart a trapped bird in her chest. No, no no. He couldn’t be here, he wasn’t supposed to be here. But he- 

He was. 

“It’s already-”, The other voice said, this time hoarse,”-I’ve already gathered it. Gasoline, are you serious? It didn’t set off any bells when you saw that request? It’s ending. Before the night is over it’s all going to be nothing more than a bad dream, you piece of shit.”

She pressed a hand over her mouth, trying to keep herself quiet. What are you doing? She begged the other voice to stay quiet. Didn’t it know how dangerous this man was? Did it want to die?

She turned around, and she ran. The voice might have wanted to die, but she didn’t. She didn’t see the chair until she had already ran into it, falling to the ground in a mess of limbs and legs. No! The booming voice halted. 

“Who’s there?”It asked, in the same tone it used to tell her to sit still and let the needle into her arm. She scrambled to her feet, and ran. She ran and ran, until she saw a door that was open and pushed it open. For a moment she thought she was saved. And then her eyes fell on someone else.

A man, short and round, with small eyes in a puffy face. His cheeks were red, a bottle half empty next to him. They stared at one another, blue into blue, a small bleeding child and a large drunken man.

“Help me”,She whispered. 

“Ymir? Was that you I saw?”The voice outside boomed. She shrunk into herself, the words like fists against her brittle bones.

The man swallowed, then licked his lips. He reached out a hand, as if he was going to help her. She felt a flicker of hope, a small breath of relief washing out her nose. Maybe. Maybe she was safe after all.

The hand curled around her arm, holding her in place. Too tight. Too painful. The air pressed out of her lungs. Of course. She’d been a fool to think she’d be safe. 

“She’s over here!”,The man shouted. “I have her here!”

She could not breathe. She pulled at her arm, but he held it too tight for her to free herself, his fingers too strong for her to resist. Her mouth stayed firmly closed as she struggled in his grip. She couldn’t go back- She couldn’t let herself be caught again! 

Her eyes landed on the bottle. For a moment she let herself fall down, dead weight in his hand. He startled, his grip loosening. Her mouth tasted of blood as she lunged forward, small fingers curling around the bottle. She raised it up, up, up, then smashed it against the side of the man's head with all the strength she had left. A sob forced itself out her throat. Despite everything, she let it. 

The man shrieked, letting go of her arm to cradle his head. “You filthy b-”

She didn’t stay to listen, instead ran for the door. Her mouth hung open, her breath came out in rapid gasps that hurt her chest. She would survive. She would make it.

Mama, I’m coming home.

Heavy footsteps thundered behind her, and she felt her throat fill with slime and blood. Despite her fear, she sobbed, her eyes stinging and making it hard to see. 

“Ymir!”The man, her man, the man who had called himself mister Fritz bellowed behind her, his footsteps more and more rapid. 

“I’ll catch her sir! I know this place!”,The other man, the short one said. Why? Why did he want her? What did he have to do with it? 

She spotted stairs. They went down, dark and underground and dark and hidden. 

She tore her feet open on the chipped tiles as she all but leapt down, her lungs too small for her chest. Downstairs it was dark, and she darted into the first open door she saw, diving under a dark metal desk. 

Her heart ached. She covered her mouth with her hands, her breath a rapid hissing through her fingers. She saw the lights inside the hallways turn on. A whimper made it past her lips, and she squeezed her eyes shut. 

Please Father in heaven let them walk past me I pray to you let them think I escaped and go home and let them leave me alone now please Father I-

I’m scared.

The door swung open. She forced herself to hold her breath, to keep her body from shaking. 

It was not her body that betrayed her. 

It was her dress. 

It had ripped when she had run into the chair. And she hadn’t noticed it, not until now. Not until she saw a loose piece of fabric peeking out under the desk. Footsteps sounded closer, halted, then resumed. 

“Stay still, little girl. I won’t hurt you. Uncle Rod won’t hurt you”,He murmured. Another sob wrangled out of her throat. Liar. Liar, liar, liar, they were all liars. She felt her bones grow heavy, her body turn into lead. She was never making it out of here. 

“Reiss? What is the meaning of this?”The other voice, the one from earlier, sounded. 

“It’s nothing Hange, go back to your lab”,The man spoke. 

She could see his hand next to the desk, she could feel his warmth on her cheek. She wiped her tears away.

“Everything in this basement is my lab. Reiss, get the hell away from that desk”,The voice said, firmer this time. 

She had a chance. The man was distracted now. She could make it out. She shot out under the desk, pulled at his arm, just as a third adult appeared. For a moment she stared straight into the barrel of a gun. She knew what it was, she had seen it often enough. 

“No!”Someone screamed. Ymir stumbled back, back until-

It happened in a heartbeat. Less than a heartbeat. 

The desk hadn’t been empty, Ymir noticed too late. There were bottles, and glassware, and strange creatures drifting in pale liquids. The bullet aimed for her shot against a bottle. 

Tick. Tick. Tick. 

Boom. 

The world ended at 11.55, in a quiet basement, in the town of Shiganshina. It was a fact that was very quickly lost, or maybe it was never really documented at all. When morning came, people knew something had changed, and by then it was too late to do anything about it. Oh, they tried, they did. 

But they didn’t do enough.

Ymir felt her body morph, felt her mind twist and bend as life seeped out of it. She was hungry. And tired. So tired. But she had to survive. She had to move on. 

Fingers that no longer resembled anything human stretched towards the nearest chunk of meat she could find. It was round, and charred, and she realized she couldn’t see it. Small needles pricked the back of her nape, and she felt a strange calm wash over her.

She didn’t need to breathe.

She didn’t feel her heart beat.

She was hungry, though. They had eaten her, she thought in a daze. They had eaten her until she was hollow. She had been carved out, piece by piece, until all that was left was skin and bones. 

Her new body grew and expanded. Flesh covered the floor, new growth that felt like joy and smoky tentacles. Dozens of small mouths traced the bodies it found, biting, grinding, sapping the little life still left in charred skin and bones.

It was only fair, whatever was left of Ymir Fritz whispered, to return the favor.

Chapter Text

There are many things that might come to mind when thinking of summer. The bright sun for instance, perhaps the most recognizable trait of the season. The blue sky, that as well, although every season has a little bit of that every once in a while. Cicadas or crickets, depending on the location. 

Recently, it had been the smell that has typed every summer. 

Erwin pushed the blade of his spade down, stamped it in the earth, raised it up. It was hard to do one armed, and his hand burned and ached with every glide along the worn down wood. Push. Shovel. Pull.

Oh my God, Nile, what are you doing? Nile!

The cicadas were loud, and they filled his ears with their humming. In different circumstances he would have tried finding a more quiet location, somewhere he could listen to his surroundings clearly. Proper use of his senses was important. It might have been the only thing that had allowed him to live this long, unlike many, many others.

All others.

Nearly.

Erwin- What’s happened to Nile? Where’s Emmy? Where is my baby?

Push. Shovel. 

The sun shone harshly on his neck, a simmering spot of heat that would be sure to burn. He hardly felt the need to stop it. It would ache, yes, but in this state he didn’t think he’d even feel it. The pile of dirt next to him grew taller and taller, a mountain of pebbles and soil. He’d have to hurry. It’d be nighttime soon, and it wasn’t safe to stay outside late. More than that, he didn’t want to bury his friends in the dark. Marie hadn’t liked the dark. She hadn’t been afraid of it, exactly, but she had always been discomforted by its presence.

That wouldn’t be a problem anymore.

Uncle Erwin, what’s happening to me?

They stank. Already, they stank. The smell had wasted no time in spreading. Sweet and sour, a sharp stench that was sure to follow Erwin into his nightmares. He glanced over at the four bodies wrapped in cloth, pausing his digging. The shovel had grown hot in his hand, a warm chafing against his palm. A swarm of flies had covered them, already crawling over the old bedsheets Erwin had used to wrap them in. It wouldn’t be long before they laid their eggs in and on the soft skin, or on the sinking tissue of their eyes. Perhaps they’d already done it, and the maggots would hatch underground. 

He didn’t enjoy thinking of that. 

He didn’t enjoy it at all.

Push. Shovel. Pull. 

Erwin- What have we done?

Erwin’s breath caught in his throat, the stench making him want to puke. He took another second to search for some fresh air, slumping his shoulders when he did not find any. He took out a towel they had previously used to wrap food with, yellow with white dots, and knotted it over his nose. It still smelled like fruit. That was a relief, if a small one. He didn’t want to smell them any longer than he had to.

The sky had turned golden and red by the time the hole had been dug deep enough. The harshness of the sun had made way for a suffocating warmth, the sort that was damp and hard to breathe in. It would rain soon, Erwin thought as he scanned his surroundings. 

He hadn’t moved them far, hadn’t been able to on his own. The outside of the cabin they’d been hiding in would be the best they would get. It wasn’t all bad, he thought to himself, up on a hill, with a nice view of former fields around them. A place they had found during the break of winter, and bunkered down so Marie had a safe place to have her child. Not that it had helped much. The baby had barely made it to spring before it died in its crib. There was no doctor, no hospital to bring it to. It had just been them, and the care any of them could provide was inadequate at best. She’d been grieving for weeks. A part of Erwin thought she never really stopped.

He tossed his spade aside, rubbing his hand clean against his pants. He drew in a deep breath. The thought of touching them made his skin crawl. They had only been dead for a few hours. It couldn’t be too bad. They already stank, but they did not have time to start rotting. He was grateful for that. He had to be. 

Nile was the heaviest. Erwin looped his hook under his legs and his hand on his shoulders, then laid the man to rest the best he could. Blood had seeped through the cloth, staining Erwin’s shirt. He’d have to find a new one. He didn’t want anything reminding him of this day, and if he could help it he wouldn’t think of it all. Nile had been a constant almost his entire adult life. It was hard to believe his presence in Erwin’s life had passed.

That this face, already stiff and grimaced, typing the expression of someone turning titan, had been the same one that had invited him for drinks or laughed during dinners. A mop of brown hair peeked over the edge of the white bedsheets. Erwin refrained from looking at it. It would only make things harder.

Marie was lighter to carry. Her hair, which she had stubbornly kept long in spite of the inconvenience, brushed over Erwin's shoulder. It had started to clump together, thick from the blood leaking out of the wound in her temple. He could still see her eyes when he blinked, wide and horrified as they had been when she had first discovered who had been on the other side of her gun.

He laid her next to Nile, careful not to bump her head against the ground too harsh. It was a stupid thing to pay attention to, but what else was he going to do? She had been a brave woman, and had endured much more than a sane soul should have been able to.

He laid their children, two girls, twelve and seven, safe on top of their parents bodies. Only yesterday they had tugged his hair and demanded a story. Blood leaked from the eldest, Emmy’s, arm. It bloomed on fabric, painted flowers on his sleeve.

How unfortunate was it, Erwin reflected grimly, that her father not only turned, but turned into an abnormal? If he had turned into a regular titan it would all have been over sooner. Horrifying, surely, and painful, but it’d have been over in a matter of seconds.

Instead the child had waited in the dark for hours as she felt her body shift into that of a monster.

He stared at them for a minute, all four close together. His shirt was unrecognisable, stained red and brown with grime and blood. They’d be unrecognisable in a week. In a year there’d be nothing but bones left. He struck a match, letting it drop into the hole. The flame flickered, died, and left a black spot on the bedsheet. Erwin murmured a prayer, then picked up his spade. 

The first dirt that scattered made his chest tighten. After that, it all felt the same. He buried them until there was nothing left, only a faint bump in the ground where they slept under the soil. It almost looked as if nothing had happened here. The sun was a low burning ball on the horizon, the cicadas lazily chirped as the air cooled around them.

He marked their grave with a stone, leaned against a wooden plank. ‘Dawk’,He simply carved into the wood, digging one end deeper into the dirt. The plank would rot and break, but the stone would remain, should he ever come here again. He didn’t think he would, though.

The cabin had always been a temporary thing, at least to him. It was bound to lead the titans in their direction one time or another. No matter how much Marie seemed content to settle, or how pleased the girls were to play in the fields. 

Nile had had worries as well, but he hadn’t been convinced enough to voice them. And look where that had gotten him.

Of course, Erwin was to blame as well. He should have been louder, should have been more insistent on moving on sooner. Their deaths were on him, and as the sole survivor, it was only right to carry them with him. He might not have brought the titan, but he killed them all the same.

He grabbed a backpack once inside, the house feeling too dark and too empty. He was careful not to let himself look at the stray toys scattered around the floor, nor Marie’s knitwork she had left on the table to finish later. The bloodstains, though, were impossible to ignore. He forced his hand to remain steady as he went through the cabinets, going over the supplies they had stocked up on. 

They had managed to build up quite a supply, Erwin thought to himself. When there had been five of them, it had always felt like too little, but now that it was just him, it was too much. Way too much. 

He had no need for an entire bag of almonds, nor for the basket of strawberries Emmy had gathered only two days prior. She had been so proud to show them off, perfectly plump and a bright red. He stared at them for a few seconds, then shook himself out of the memory.

Instead of the fruits, he went for the flour, and water. He brought sugar and the jar of honey, wrapping two towels around it just to be safe. There were oats. He took nearly all of those. Slowly he emptied the kitchen, methodically judging what would spoil, what would last, what he would or wouldn’t reach for.

His backpack was starting to weigh, and he hadn't even gotten to the rest of his supplies. He tossed some more loose items into his backpack, then zipped it up and carefully moved around the puddle on the floor in order to reach his bedroom. 

He discarded his bloody shirt, peeling it off his chest. It stuck to it like a second skin, already drying in a fixed position. It fell to the floor in a crumpled heap. He found that he couldn’t bring himself to clean it up. That was fine, he supposed, if it were up to him nobody would ever enter this room again. 

He changed into a fresh shirt, then filtered out his favorite items of clothing to take with him. Two pairs of pants, a pair of shorts. Two shirts, a sweater, a cardigan and a jacket. 

Socks. Too many, probably, but he was sure he’d need all of them. 

Belts, saddle soap, underwear. All the things he didn’t think twice about, now brought to his attention and carefully judged.

He rolled up his sleeping bag, quietly saying goodbye to the small room in which he had spent the last half year or so. It hadn’t been the best, it was small and cramped and he had bumped his head on the doorframe countless times, but it had served him well. Every time someone used the kitchen, the scent had a habit of drifting into his room before all the others. 

He had only spent a fraction of the time he lived in his house Before here, but he held this place in higher regard already.

He finished packing his bag with other travel supplies. A compass, rope, those things. Important, yet trivial things. His bag was heavy on his shoulders as he swung it over his shoulders. One final look, and then he was gone. 

There were a couple facts Erwin had managed to scrape together over the course of the four years since the titans appeared. 

The first was simple. 

The world had indeed ended in early spring of 1960. It would take a special sort of foolery to claim anything else. It had gone fast after all. They had all started the year no different than the ones that came before it, and had ended it in a manner that had earned the name the cursed age.

The exact time and date, however, were unknown. For a while, he had wondered if it were possible the world had ended sooner, but it had simply taken too long for the problem to spread. Nobody knew where it started after all. Some said it was in the west, some vaguely waved towards the east. “Mark my words, this is all the Soviet's doing”,Nile had grumbled once, his eyes narrowed and focused far away,”They were trying to kill us all without going nuclear, but something went wrong. This has their commie smell all over it.”

He hadn’t been proven wrong yet, but Erwin could hardly believe that. They might have been silently warring, but this was far too extreme for any sort of warfare he was familiar with.

The second fact he had discovered was that most of the people on earth were dead. Again, simple enough on the surface. 

Radio had shut down only a few months in, but the message had been spread all the same, from every corner of the world: Help, we are dying. Every country cried out for aid, only to be met with more prayers than anyone could feasibly count. It had been a mess on the channels. They’d flipped through the wavelengths for hours, yet it was always the same, in every language Erwin could think of and then some.

The ones that hadn’t perished in the initial outburst had been left to fend for themselves in a harsh and cruel world. Something as trivial as a cold or the flu quickly turned deadly. Pharmacies and grocery stores were amongst the first places to be raided into emptiness. People were desperate for medicine, for reliable ways to ensure they survived. Erwin, Nile and Marie had been there as well. He remembered clearly how they had stuffed box after bottle after jar of pills and fluids into their bags, not knowing what half of them even did. Even if it was useless to them, it could be a treasure for someone else, and that meant they could perhaps attempt to trade. 

It was by that logic that they had traded a joint ointment for a bag of flour, a salve against cold sores for a red medical kit, a bottle of lubricant for half a dozen corn cobs.

Which led nicely into fact number three. Money was useless. The paper, the coins, gold and silver. It didn't matter, it was all equally unimportant. Most survivors would rather have a single baked chicken over a million printed dollars. The only reason Erwin could imagine wanting money for was to get a fire started, and there were far better materials for that purpose. He was sure there was someone somewhere who had managed to keep a monetary economy going, but for the overwhelming majority of people, their savings had about as much use as sunglasses for a bat. 

There were other rules. Shorter ones, simpler ones. He didn’t consider them as facts, because they were based purely on instinct instead of proper observation. Some contradicted each other. They were all, still, very useful in keeping him alive one more day. He had told Nile and Marie about them once, when the girls had been asleep. Nile had snorted, and made a comment on Erwin’s need to find order in chaos. 

Marie had admitted later that she had harbored some rules herself. 

Don’t trust survivors. You don’t know what they did to make it this far.

Don’t travel alone during the day. The titans might find you.

Don’t travel alone at night. The people might find you.

If you see a titan, hide. If you hear a titan, hide. If you have something, something someone else could want, keep it for trade.

Anything else, you keep with you, but you travel in a way to make it hard for outsiders to see what it is you’re carrying. 

The titans were horrible. It was a common speculation they were a creature sent by some God to finally put humanity to rest, just because of how unnatural and dangerous they were. The smallest amongst them were three meters, the largest nearing five. They were always naked, with swollen round stomachs and disfigured faces, which either smiled stupidly or were pulled into a pained grimace. That was also the first sign someone was turning titan. Nile’s had been- 

Well. At least it had made it easier.

They were fast. Not faster than a horse or car, but easily outrunning even the fastest of men. Erwin had seen someone attempt to evade one with a bicycle. It had not been a pretty sight. The bicycle wheels had caught on all the rubble, the chain had gone unoiled too long, and the poor fellow riding it hadn’t stood a chance.

For as far as Erwin knew, there were two ways to become a titan. The unexpected, and the expected. 

He’d only seen the first a handful of times, as it was extraordinarily rare. That was the one good quality it had.

It was so rare in fact, he hadn’t noticed until it was too late on multiple occasions.

To someone who didn’t know what it was, it simply looked like a dark spot of dirt. The grass around it would grow with a layer of dark mucus, and the earth itself would be heavy, making a sound like mud when stepped on. Stepping on it however would trigger the release of tiny spores, similar to those of fungi. Breathe them in, and you turn titan.

Luckily, these spots were far and wide between, but their existence still made the hairs on Erwin’s neck rise. This wasn’t an opponent to be overcome, this was a force of nature, waiting for a careless traveller to put their feet down in the wrong place. If you knew the signs you could avoid it, it wasn’t aggressive after all, but it was a mistake that was all too easy to make. One misplaced foot in the dark, and you were dead.

The second way of becoming a titan was a little more common. When a titan turned, there was a small chance of them becoming an abnormal. These titans were still dangerous, they were still enormous, but they did not have the predatorial drive that had led to the bulk of humanity’s extinction. They liked to leave their victims alive. 

Rather than being torn apart and eaten, you remained aware, your blood slowly shifting into the strange fluid that made a titan a titan. The brain would crumble first, the mind break, causing the signature titan expressions to emerge. Soon the unfortunate person in question would outgrow their clothes, and they would join the rest of the herd in search for their next meal. 

The best course of action in Erwin’s experience, would be to find higher ground to hide on. It gave you an advantage against both titans and people. Unless someone had climbed higher of course, but that problem had yet to present itself. 

Titans weren’t as active at night. Not to say they were all docile, but there was a noticeable dip in titan activity when the sun was down. 

Counter to this were the people that came out of hiding. They’d seen a small number of people since Shiganshina fell, and Erwin could count the ones interested in friendly conversation on one hand. He had traded with more, but there had been an undercurrent of tension there, a bubble waiting to pop. You never know what someone had been forced to do. What sort of things they’d seen. The violence they’d grown accustomed to. Seeing the grass grow red in fresh blood and maggots emerge from a former friendly face- It took a toll on everyone. 

The new social norms were a cautious, gruelling process of ensuring one’s own survival.

The last time they’d traded they’d done so by tossing supplies back and forth over a safe distance. They had all been unarmed, for as far as Erwin knew. Nile had watched Erwin’s back, and Marie had watched Nile’s. Finding a person was almost more nerve-wracking than a titan at this point.

At least a titan can’t think.

Erwin had just about enough of long wavy grass. It was bad enough to travel at night without a light, the grass was just another complication. It seemed intent on gripping his boots, pulling his feet towards the earth. They were thick and damp, fat with moisture from previous rain. He’d be happy never to set foot in a field like this again.

Still, he plowed through, keeping both his voice and his mind quiet. The only thing worse than making your way across bad terrain was being chased through bad terrain.

He made it out of the field, and kept walking ahead in a straight line. 

The moon was a dim ball above his head, a pale spot of white against pure endless black. He didn’t enjoy the surroundings he found himself in. They were too open, left him too vulnerable. He could see the black of grass transition uninterrupted into the dark sky, every dip and rise in the plains painfully visible. He would have to find some cover soon. At least he would see whatever threat presented itself in time. 

He chewed a handful of dry oats as he walked, intermittent with measured sips of water. There was enough for him to last up to three days, if he could keep his thirst under control. There was no saying when he’d find a river or stream to refill his bottles. When they had arrived at the cabin, they’d been walking through nothing but fields and grassy plains for days. Erwin had hoped that by going in the other direction he’d find something providing a little more cover. So far it wasn’t working out great. The night was still young, he told himself, he might find something. Otherwise he’d just have to keep moving through the day, and pray he didn’t come across any titans. 

The thought is enough for him to put some haste into his steps. Most titans kept to more urban areas, places where there were lots of people to prey on. Most titans. There had been the one that had bitten Nile. Erwin grimaced, and he shook the thought out of his head. There was simply always a chance of being found, of being eaten. There was no use in weighing odds. He only had one real option: to keep moving. 

The sun broke on the horizon, slow at first, then all too rapid. Erwin stops for a few seconds to admire it, then regains control of himself and resumes walking. His feet protested, but seeing as he did not want to reduce himself to a meaty mush, he felt it fit to ignore their whining. He had walked for hours before, he could do it again. The temperature rose, quickly going from a gentle warmth into an oppressive sort of heat. He unbuttoned his collar, scanning the horizon as he did, and rolled up his sleeve. He’d made the decision a while ago to cut the right sleeves off of his summer clothes. He’d always struggled with the fabric getting caught in his prosthetic, and now any additional second wasted was a liability.

Finally, like manna from heaven, he spotted it. A dot of green in the distance, waving lazily in the summer breeze. Trees. Actual, formidable, trees. 

His heart leaped with joy, but he refrained himself from celebrating prematurely. He wasn’t in the woods yet. There might still have been something waiting for him out here. Letting his guard down prematurely might prove a deadly error. 

He made it to the treeline without issue.

Good. The trees were tall and wide, the lowest branches too high for him to climb on. Not like he was a particularly strong climber otherwise. 

It was a good thing he brought the thicker one of the ropes they’d gathered in the cabin. He knotted it around a rock, and threw it up so it could loop around the nearest branch. It looked sturdy enough to hold his weight. He made a knot, pulling at the long end to properly secure it around the branch, then pulled it a couple of times to make sure it would hold him. 

One last check to make sure he was safe, and then he secured his bag tighter over his shoulders and started climbing. 

It always felt a little like offering yourself up on a silver platter, Erwin found. To surrender yourself to nothing but twisted fibers and a knot. To dangle, at the perfect height for a titan to close its maw around your legs. 

It’s partially because of that discomfort that he makes sure to scurry up as fast as he can, his feet scooping up the rope, his arm pulling him onwards.  

He swung his arm around the branch, moving his feet in order to secure a higher hold. It took a grunt and more effort than he recalled to land himself on the branch, flat on his stomach with both arms wrapped around the bark. Still, there was no place he’d rather be, safe from titans. 

He shuffled back, his feet crossed underneath the sturdy wood. He didn’t undo the knot, it would come in useful, but he did pull up the rope. Sleeping would be difficult, even in the shade it was warm, but he needed to rest somehow. He pulled the rope back, secured himself to the trunk, and closed his eyes.

“He didn’t fall after all”,A man remarked, peering down through a layer of leaves. “I really thought he’d drop. Did you see the way that branch was shaking?”,A woman replied, her cheeks full of half-chewed food.

“I saw his bag”,The man responded wryly, shrugging as his nostrils flared.

“Should we ambush him? He seems to be sleeping”,The woman said, in a tone that was once more fit to discuss an upcoming trip to a grocery store. She swallowed her food, then peered down at the sleeping man on the branch below.  

“We could”,The man replied, quietly as he studied the figure below. 

“No, we can’t. He’ll notice us coming, and the branch can’t take more weight”,A third voice spoke. He peeked out from underneath dark bangs, his eyes halfway shut. The other two turned to look at him, waiting for him to continue.

“We’ll wait until nightfall.”

The woman sighed, rubbing her forehead with the heel of her hand. She looked both childish and endlessly ancient, her red hair falling over her face,”Aye aye captain. If you say so.”

Erwin woke up hearing voices. For a moment it didn’t concern him, and he didn’t open his eyes. It must have been Marie, or one of the kids. Maybe Nile had forgotten to clear out the drain again.

It was odd that he was sitting up. The events of the previous days slowly caught up to him, and his eyes immediately flung open. Nile was dead. Marie was dead. Any friendly voice he could hope to hear was gone. So who was it? Who had been speaking? He kept his expression neutral, his breathing level. If someone was watching, he’d rather not alert them of his awareness just yet. He stayed still another few minutes, but the voices kept quiet. He supposed it could have been a dream. 

Supposed, but couldn’t confirm. 

Keeping himself calm and quiet, he reached for his bag. As he laid out his navigation supplies, he pondered the best course of action. There had been a male and female voice, assuming he heard correctly. It’d be ideal if it were just the two of them, but he couldn’t rely on that. He didn’t know how many people were hiding in the branches above him, there could be two, there could be three, four, five. More. The fact they hadn’t killed him yet didn’t mean anything. He roughly found his location on the map, miles away from the cabin they’d marked with a black dot. The journey had taken over twelve hours, and the distance was still less than the width of his thumb. 

He’d seen the sun rise to his left, and if he was assuming he had walked more or less in a straight line, he had a rough idea of where he was. It was a shame his map only detailed roads and cities. He could use a topographical map right about now, as he had no intention to come anywhere near anything resembling a human construct. The areas that hadn’t been overrun by titans were probably taken in by people, if the rumours the occasional travellers had brought with them were true. 

He took out his compass, clicking the lid open. The leaves above his head rustled. A squirrel, or someone making an unexpected movement. He sighed internally, the lunacy of his situation sinking in. He was trapped, but there wasn’t anything he could do against it. If he were to make an escape now he risked running into a titan, and they knew it. They’d know he knew they were there, and with it he’d lose the one advantage he had. An expected ambush was preferable to an unexpected one. 

He went over his meager belongings, judging which ones he could use to bargain for his life. The maps, maybe. His rope. His compass. But what would he do without those? He’d be left with nothing. The cabin was still close. He might make it back for more supplies before attempting another journey again.

There was a good chance he wouldn’t make it. 

That would be a shame. 

He put his supplies away, leaning his head back against the tree. His eyes fell shut, and he fell into an uneasy sleep. 

He awoke several hours later, just in time to watch the sun lower between the trees. He pulled the rope loose and up, judging the height he was on. He’d need the rope. He might not survive without it. He slung the rope over the branch, letting the two ends dangle aimlessly. He’d have to trust he’d survive a fall halfway down. 

His hand burned as he sunk down, feeling the skin on his palm chafe open. When the two ends ran out he twisted one end in his fist, and braced himself for the collision with the ground. 

For a moment it felt like he was floating. And then the ground hit. Whether it was instinct or his old military practice, he wasn’t sure, but his ankles and knees smoothly gave out, allowing him to ungraciously roll to safety. The plastic bottles crinkled, and he cringed as he remembered the jar of honey. Next time he’d lower his bag first. 

He pretended to be more hurt than he was, slowly rising to his feet while padding his legs. He made a show of cradling his head, then raised his prosthetic arm so it would be clearly visible. It might make them underestimate him. It might not be much, but it could provide an opportunity to escape. The less your opponent thought of you, the greater your chance at besting them. 

While keeping up his charade, he held his breath, ears strained in order to catch anything. It could be his imagination, but he counted one, then two pairs of feet moving around. He had been right earlier, there were indeed only two of them. There was no way someone would be able to stay completely quiet in this environment. 

There were too many leaves, branches, animals. It would take a special kind of predator to move through this vegetation in silence.

He rolled down his sleeve and straightened up, abruptly hearing the leaves go quiet again. Alright, he could work with two. His hand to hand wasn’t bad if it came down to it. Still, he was hoping he wouldn’t have to. Maybe he would be fine without a compass. He could use the sun during the days and the stars at night. 

It was dark in the forest.

The sound of rustling leaves and creaking branches faintly followed his steps, so quiet he lost track of it at times. 

His feet still ached, but not as badly now that he had a couple of hours of rest. It was a hot evening. It would be a warm night. 

“Hello? Is someone there?”

He stopped. It was a woman’s voice. High and light, in a way that suggested she was either young or on the verge of tears. Both, maybe. He turned towards the voice. A woman stumbled out of the shadows, her motions clumsy. Her hair was light, in two braids that ran close over her scalp. Her face was indeed youthful, but with premature worry lines between her eyebrows that seemed unnaturally deep in the faint light. Her bottom lip quivered, her large dark eyes shining. For a moment they looked just like Marie’s. A shiver danced over his neck. 

“Oh- Hello”,She said, swiping at her eye with the back of her hand. It was clean, Erwin noticed. Almost unseemly so. Erwin strained his ears, but the leaves around him stayed silent. Damn it. “I don’t know where I am. I was running and now- Now I’m here and I’m alone and it’s so dark”,She whined, tears running over her cheeks. Erwin didn’t approach her. Instead he set a few measured steps back. Ah, there the rustling was.

“Are you alone?”He asked, his voice loud. 

She gave a trembling nod. 

“So the person waiting in the bushes behind me is not with you?”He asked, stone faced. 

The woman froze. The leaves behind Erwin exploded with sound, footsteps close behind. He spun around, grabbing onto the other’s arm and twisting it up. His hook held the other arm in place, keeping it firmly out of the way. A leg kicked up, landing right above his hip. For a moment his grip loosened, a pained hiss escaping his lips as his body folded in on itself. 

“God damn-”,He said, grabbing the other close. This time he managed to work him to the ground, planting a knee firmly on the other's back. The other wriggled, but Erwin was too heavy for him to lose. 

The woman didn’t make a move, but her face had lost her earlier facade.

“Let him go”,She ordered, her dark eyes having lost every bit of their earlier kindness.

“Give me one good reason I should”,Erwin replied, steadily holding her gaze. 

A soft point pushed against his nape. His breath hitched. A third? There had been a third all along? 

“I’ll kill you if you won’t. Sure, you’re a big guy-”The blade sunk a little deeper into his skin,”-But it doesn’t take too much strength to turn you into a head on a stick.”

The voice was slow, almost bored sounding. The tip of the knife tilted from left to right, as if the holder was a cat playing with a mouse. Erwin swallowed. He was very aware of his own heartbeat, his blood rushing through his ears.

Slowly, with measured movements, he unhooked his hands, raising them next to his head. “So you’re not a total idiot”,The voice behind him remarked. 

“Stay still. We’re not going to hurt you”,The woman spoke, keeping her distance. A hand grabbed the back of Erwin’s shirt, pulling him off the man he’d pushed to the ground. He didn’t fight it. It was three against one, and he didn’t have his knife within reach at the moment. A bargain, then, would be his only option. He rose to his full length, and the knife against his nape trailed down until it rested against his side. “Don’t turn around”,The one behind him said. Erwin gave a nod. 

So he was shorter than Erwin. That could be good to know if this would turn physical again.

The man on the ground scrambled to his feet, running his hands over his back. “Fucking hell-”,Erwin heard him mutter. “Are you okay?”The woman asked. “Yeah, fine”,The man replied, then turned to Erwin. Erwin saw his fist before he saw his face, feeling the knuckles slam against his cheek. A warm pain spread across his face, and reached over to touch it. Immediately the knife prodded his side harder,”Still”,The voice hissed, drawing out the singly syllable as much as it was capable of doing.

Erwin blinked his vision clear, then glanced up. He blinked again.

“Mike?”He asked, hoping with all his heart this was not some sort of hallucination. 

The man froze, his eyes going wide. 

His nostrils flared for a moment, and then he gave dry snort.

“Jesus, Erwin. You’re alive?” 

“You know him?”The voice behind him asked, the sound as displeased as anything. Erwin’s eyes scanned Mike’s face, surprised at how little the man had changed. And he was here. “Yeah. We used to be friends”,Mike said, looking at Erwin like he was seeing a ghost. Which, Erwin reflected, was not entirely inaccurate. He thought the same of Mike. He suspected his face had a similar look of shock. “The hell are you doing here?”Mike asked him, swiping his blond hair out of his eyes. Erwin chuckled humorlessly. “Being ambushed, I’m afraid. What about you? Care to introduce me to your friends?”

Mike exchanged glances with the woman, then with the one standing behind Erwin. An unspoken conversation happened, one consisting entirely out of glances and subtle changes in their expressions. “Petra”,Mike eventually said, pointing at the woman. “And that’s Levi”,He said, gesturing behind him. Erwin glanced down, and with a small scoff, the knife in his side vanished. 

The man that had been standing behind him was even smaller than Erwin had anticipated. The top of his black haired crown barely came up to Erwin’s shoulder. 

He stared at Erwin with perhaps the sourest expression he had ever seen on another human being. He found it unnerving. 

“You’re sure about this?”The man- Levi, asked with a nasty glance in Erwin’s direction. “Yeah. He’s safe”,Mike confirmed. For a moment he stood there, then he walked over and briefly put his arms around Erwin. They were firm and strong, a long overdue feeling of comfort.

“I really thought you were dead, you idiot”,Mike mumbled into Erwin’s shoulder. “Yeah, same here”,Erwin replied, returning the gesture. It felt good to hold something familiar. Someone who wouldn’t end up killing him for a piece of chicken, or would throw him to a titan at the first sign of trouble. 

Mike pulled back with a slap on the shoulder, sniffed, then chuckled. “You smell different. Must be why I didn’t recognise you.”