Chapter Text
After a handful of hard cases, Haley's death and Hotch's absence, it feels nice to have an easier one. Of course, they're absolutely cursed and when it goes to shit, JJ isn’t all that surprised.
She’s packing, ready to go home and about to reach for her bag when she gets the call. "Hi Morgan, what’s up?" she says when she answers, keeping her phone tucked to her ear with a shoulder as she continues gathering her things.
"JJ, I'm with Emily in the hospital, I need you to get word out to the team," Morgan says on the other side, and JJ’s heart jumps into her throat. "There was an accident, Schrader killed Bunting and escaped. He's got a partner, he’s headed north in a truck."
She lets a surprised breath escape her throat and tries to process what he told her. "Shit," she mumbles before she can hold herself back. "Is she okay, do you guys need me to come?" She's already standing from her seat at the table, preparing to get back to it, to gather the team and break the news that they’re not as done as they’d like.
"She's got a concussion and she’s in shock, and as goddamn stubborn as always, but she'll be fine. We're coming back as soon as we’ll be let out of here, don't worry about her." Morgan huffs a little, clearly moving around and JJ can barely make out Emily mumbling something like dramatic on the other side. "Just get back to work, so we can catch this bastard."
"She's my girlfriend, Morgan, I'm always gonna worry about her," JJ mutters into the phone, unable to stop the slightest smile forming on her lips. "Okay, uh, can I talk to her?"
There's a pause where JJ hears nothing but her own breathing and Morgan mumbling something inaudible. "Yeah, sure," he says eventually, and there's a scratchy noise on the other end as he hands the phone to Emily.
"Jennifer?" Emily whispers. She sounds exhausted and drained, her voice hoarse and rough.
JJ sighs in relief, runs a hand through her hair. "Are you okay?" she asks, willing herself to stay calm even though she hates that she’s so far away. She considers asking again, if they need her to get there, but she refrains and clears her throat to ask, "What happened?"
Emily scoffs softly. "I'm fine, I'm good, it was nothing," she says with a quiet chuckle, lowering her voice to a whisper, "and are you guys okay?"
"I wasn’t in a car crash, if that’s what you’re asking," JJ says, smiling into the phone as she hears Emily’s low laugh, the warmth of it spreading through her body. "Listen, I really gotta get back to the team, and get back to work. You just make sure to get some rest, and get back when you can, okay?"
Emily hums in response and JJ decides to take it as yes, of course, I will instead of the likely no she knows it is. "Morgan and I will be back as soon as the doctor will let us out of here," she explains gently, "stay safe. I love you so much."
JJ swallows, whispers a gentle, "I love you too," and hangs up, heading out to find the team.
Morgan and Emily come back a little after midnight and JJ turns to meet her halfway. “I’m okay,” she says even before JJ has the chance to ask. JJ steadies her anyway, letting her put weight onto her. “I’m fine, JJ.”
“Here, sit,” JJ offers, resting her hand softly on the back of her neck as Emily takes the chair she’d previously sat in. They recap the new information and JJ squeezes Emily’s shoulder every once in a while when she winces, ignoring the glares they earn from Hotch.
The case continues to intensify and Emily continues to convince them she’s fine. Schrader and his partner shoot a man with the wife and son at home, and JJ can’t help her brain from spiraling. She has the urge to stick to Emily’s side the whole time, even when Emily’s interviewing the wife.
When she comes downstairs with an update, JJ breathes out in relief for the second time. “JJ, I’m fine,” she says when JJ comes over to rest a hand on her back, the quiet reminder that she’s there, alive, breathing and with JJ. She doesn’t flinch from the touch, but JJ doesn’t miss how she doesn’t lean into it the way she usually does. “You seriously don’t need to worry.”
When Emily comes back from the cognitive interview, she’s shaking. JJ sees it instantly, the quiet way she tries to hide it by sitting down and fidgeting with her hands, yet her lips tremble as she speaks and JJ notices the hand shaking anyway. She steps up beside her when Hotch sends them off to work, takes her hand in hers and leads her away from the team. “JJ,” she tries, stopping as they walk into an empty office. “I told you, I’m fine.” Her voice hardens, but JJ sees right through it.
She closes the door behind them and turns to meet Emily’s eyes. “Emily,” she says, gentle and quiet, reaches out for Emily’s hand. Emily hesitates, but then she swallows and takes it. “It’s okay. You don’t have to be fine.”
Emily breathes out, just the slightest crack in the walls she’s built around herself. “I know,” she whispers, letting JJ step closer.
“Come here,” JJ whispers, reaching behind Emily’s neck and pulling her in until their foreheads are touching. It’s small, this little gesture that tries to take away her pain. “You’re safe with me,” she says, fingers curling around the hairs on her neck.
“I know,” Emily whispers again as she breathes, and JJ feels her relaxing against her.
Emily pulls back after a moment, and she looks a lot calmer. That’s what JJ does best, really; being other people’s rocks, something they can center themselves to when their worlds are falling apart. “Better?” JJ asks and presses a kiss to Emily’s knuckles.
Emily nods, the subtlest move of her head. “Yeah,” she says, stepping back and squeezing JJ’s hand. “Thank you.”
After working for almost the whole night, Morgan sends the team to the hotel around 2.30 in the morning, telling them to get just a little bit of sleep. "There's nothing we can do right now," he says, looking pointedly to Emily, "and you were just in a car accident, you need to rest," he says.
Emily rolls her eyes from her chair, but accepts. When they get to the hotel room, and they finally have a bit of privacy, JJ lets her hands wrap around Emily's waist, pulling her in like she’s trying to put her back together and undo the damage. "I'm gonna be okay," she whispers, but still leans into her touch.
JJ hums softly into her neck, squeezing her closer. Emily winces in pain, taking a step back. "Sorry," she hurries to say. "I'm sore, like, everywhere," she chuckles, brushing a hand up JJ's arm to cup her cheek and making her meet her gaze.
"No, I'm sorry," JJ says, leaning forward to kiss her softly, taking notice of Emily’s slight wince of pain again. "We should get some sleep though."
Emily kisses her again and then she lets her head fall onto JJ's shoulder, breathing out slowly. "I know," she whispers.
They're quiet for a while as they get settled into bed, but Emily is twisting and turning, and JJ slows her down with a hand on her arm. "Hey, come here," she whispers, and Emily turns around, looking at her, her eyes glossy and vulnerable. "Get some sleep, sweetheart."
Emily tucks her head into JJ's neck, breathes her in slowly. It takes a while, but the two of them do manage to get a few hours of sleep, holding each other close.
In the morning, slowly the pieces start coming together. They identify Schrader’s partner as Joe Muller and they realize that Schrader is keeping his family and getting Muller to help him out of the mess he put himself in.
Emily and Morgan are chasing a lead when it happens. The woman at the evidence vault tells them that Muller was there just before them and they’re out almost before Emily says thank you. They find him in the parking lot, in the car with Schrader and Emily pulls her gun from her holster.
Morgan calls out, “Stop the car!” and he does. Just as he adds, “put your hands where I can see them,” Schrader puts the gun to Muller’s head and Emily steps in front of the car, Morgan on the other side. Emily dimly registers Muller telling both of them not to shoot, but she stays where she is.
“Schrader, put it down!” Morgan orders, and Emily repeats it right after him.
Schrader, just as angry and violent as he’d been when he killed Bunting, calls out, “You’re really gonna let me blow his brains out?”
Emily shakes her head quickly and a white-hot pain spreads through her body. “Drop it or I’ll shoot,” she says, calm and sure, even though she feels the throbbing in her head and the pain in her stomach.
“What's wrong, agent? You still upset that I killed your buddy?” Schrader continues. “Did he have kids like this one, huh?” He turns his attention to Muller, hand tightening on the gun and Muller’s head. “Look at her, she’s pissed.” Emily barely registers it, just keeps her eyes on Schrader, hands steady on her gun, pointing it directly at him through the windshield.
“Don’t kill him,” Muller mutters, and Emily doesn’t move, steady and sure.
Schrader keeps going, this angry hurricane of threats that doesn’t stop. “Look at that look in her eyes. She's gonna, she is gonna do it.” Then he turns, eyes meeting Emily’s in this terrifying moment. Emily almost wishes he would point the gun at her instead of him. “Come on, what are you gonna do?!” he shouts through to her.
“Don’t kill him,” Muller repeats, pleading.
Schrader looks at Morgan, and Emily is prepared for the moment Muller is out of her shot. “How’s your arm?” he asks Morgan, and then he lunges forward—without allowing herself to think, Emily pulls the trigger.
“No, no!” Muller shouts. Emily moves, her gun still pointing at Muller because she needs him to calm down or someone is going to get hurt more than they already are. The man yells at Schrader to talk, but he’s dead, the bullet Emily fired hitting exactly where it needed to hit.
Morgan steps closer and yells at him to back off, and then Muller turns to Emily. “You just killed my family,” he says, shaking and angry in all the ways a man can be. He steps out of the car and steps towards her with a force and an anger Emily doesn’t know how to handle.
All she can do is yell out “Calm down!” while Muller spits out “You just killed my family! You just killed my family!” He lunges out for her, grabbing her arms and pushing back, and for a second, Emily is scared for her life.
Then Morgan tackles him away from her, and Emily is thrown into the car with the force of it. It’s shattering, and she almost screams in pain. She hears something crack inside her body that is definitely not supposed to crack. Morgan gets Muller to calm down, and convinces him to help the BAU on the case.
Emily musters the energy to move again, even though it hurts. She walks back over to Morgan and Muller, the pain in her rib sharp and new. “Sorry about the–” Muller says when he gets into the car with Emily and Morgan.
“I had no other choice,” Emily says with a shrug, “and we’ll do everything we can to find your family, I promise.” Muller just nods and buckles his seatbelt.
They make it back to the police department, Emily limping inside, hand clutching her ribcage as every step is a knife to her lung. JJ moves faster than Emily can say “I’m fine,” and she hurries to meet her.
“What the hell happened?” her girlfriend asks, hands on her shoulders to keep her steady.
Emily shakes her head, trying to shake the experience off her bones, still clinging to her. “Muller–” she gestures to the man behind her, “threw me against a damn car after I shot Schrader.”
Muller mumbles a quick, “I said I was sorry,” but JJ only has eyes for Emily.
“Are you okay?” JJ asks again, her hands running over Emily’s body, like she’s trying to make sure she’s still standing.
“I’m fine,” Emily lies even though she feels like shit, even though she’s fully aware of the damage she’s doing to herself. “Let’s just get back to work, okay?”
Around midday when the case is over and they're preparing to go home, Emily's body crumbles. JJ doesn't see it coming. Emily says she's fine, promises with a kiss to her lips and JJ is naive enough to believe it.
They make it all the way home to Quantico before it catches up to her. “What are you thinking for dinner tonight?” JJ asks calmly, zipping her go-bag and throwing it over her shoulder. Emily doesn't respond, stands as if in a daze, her eyes glazing over. “Emily?”
Her legs seem to collapse under her, and JJ reacts by instinct, catches the weight of her in her arms. “Oh god– Emily.” She tries to look at her, to shake her awake and make her look at her, but she's out like a light. “Hotch! Reid, Morgan, anyone!” she calls out, and Morgan comes running through the door from the BAU room, the rest of them running right behind him and processing the scene.
“What happened?” Hotch asks, his voice as steady as ever, and this time, JJ finds it infuriating.
JJ lowers Emily to the ground until she's kneeling with her head in her lap. “She kind of just collapsed,” she says, brushing dark hair away from her face and starts trying to figure out what's wrong. “We were talking and then– oh my God,” JJ stops as she lifts up in Emily's shirt, and oh it's so bad. At first glance it looks like a big bruise, but JJ knows internal bleeding when she sees it. “Come on, baby, just look at me,” she tries, guiding Emily's face, but there's nothing.
“We need to get her to the hospital,” she hears Hotch say, pulling out his phone, while Morgan and Reid help JJ get Emily halfway to her feet, carrying her weight.
Hotch is right behind them as they walk back to the car. JJ hears him say something on the phone, likely calling 911—“We got a 35 year old FBI agent down,” he says, calculated and professional as always. “Have doctors ready, we’re already on our way.”
JJ and Reid stay in the back with Emily while Morgan and Hotch take the front. JJ cradles Emily in her arms, constantly trying to get her to wake up, but she doesn't. She checks constantly, two fingers pressed to her pulse point, just to make sure. They make it to the hospital with an unconscious Emily and a panicking JJ and an all too calm Doctor Reid.
They barrel through the waiting room, Hotch calling out, “we got an Agent down!” and doctors hurry to get a gurney ready. “Emily Prentiss, 36, she was in a car crash yesterday, looks like she's bleeding internally,” he explains quickly as they roll her into the emergency room.
JJ is walking as if in a daze for a while. She follows the doctors as they roll her into a hospital room, even as the doctors start connecting her to machines and medical equipment and start cutting open her shirt.
She doesn't let go of Emily's hand, watches as she sees the vitals on the screen. 73/45, 183 bpm. She looks back to Emily, her closed eyes and her still head, one of JJ’s hands coming up to rest on her cheek. “Emily, come on,” she says, squeezing her hand. “Please, baby, just look at me,” she tries but still, she’s gone.
“Hey, we need some space to work,” one of the doctors says to her, but JJ is barely there. “We will tell you as soon as we know anything, but right now we need to get her into surgery.”
JJ stands in a haze as they roll her out of the room and through the emergency department.
She finds the rest of the team in the waiting area and oh, thank God for Penelope. She'd already left when Emily passed out, but Morgan called her on the way and now she's here. She stands as soon as she spots her, and hurries to give her a hug. “Oh, Jayje,” she mumbles and JJ does nothing but hold onto her. “She's gonna be okay, she's a fighter,” she assures her.
“Yeah, I know,” JJ says as she pulls away with a painful smile, holding onto Garcia’s hand even still. She thinks about how different this is from the last time they were here. When it was Penelope—more a sister than a friend—in the room and Emily had been beside her in the waiting room. She'd seen how JJ was shaking and taken her hand in a quiet, wordless I'm here, and it meant the world. Now their roles are switched and she thinks it might hurt even more.
Two hours pass before the doctor has any news, JJ and her friends, her family waiting for signs of life. The six of them stand in a weirdly synced motion as soon as they see him. “She's out of surgery,” he says simply, his face as plain as a plate, and JJ stops breathing.
She can't help herself when she opens her mouth; “Is she…? Is she okay?”
“She's stable,” he says with a small smile.
“Oh, thank God,” JJ says, clutching her chest, feeling the tension loosening for the first time since Emily crashed into her arms. “She's gonna be okay?” she asks just to be sure.
The doctor gives a quick nod. “She’ll be fine. She'll need a few weeks to recover, but she'll be back in the field before you know it,” he says, like JJ cares about the work and not the fact that she almost lost her girlfriend. “She's been in and out of consciousness a few times, asking for someone named Jennifer?”
JJ lets out a wretched sound from the back of her throat, half sob, half chuckle. “Yeah, that's me,” she whispers and smiles a little, crooked and tight. Garcia squeezes her shoulder, as if to say I told you so, and JJ turns to give her a smile.
The doctor shows her the way to the trauma room, and there she is—breathing tube in through her nose, a consistent beeping from the machine beside her bed, but alive all the same. “Thank you,” she says to the doctor before he leaves, clicking the glass door shut behind him.
She sits down on the chair beside her bed and waits, reaching for Emily's hand and hoping it's enough to bring her back.
The woman takes her sweet time. It takes at least an hour before she wakes up. Hotch brings her shitty cafeteria food and stays for a while, and Reid and Penelope come to check on her too—mostly to make sure JJ is taking care of herself.
Then she finally shuffles, blinking a few times before her eyes flutter open. JJ doesn't say anything, but she must feel her presence and her hand. “Jennifer?” she whispers and turns her head to face her. “Hi.”
“Hey, sweetheart,” JJ whispers and leans forward to stroke her cheek, her skin warm and dry. Her eyes are tired, but alive and JJ almost sobs in relief. “You scared the shit out of me.”
Emily meets her eyes and coughs slightly, the motion shaking through her body. “I know,” she says quietly, almost inaudible, as she tries to sit up.
“Hey, don't try to move, just lie back down,” JJ says as she winces, a gentle hand on Emily's shoulder guiding her back down. “You're okay now, just rest.” She moves her hand to Emily's cheek, her thumb stroking her cheekbone.
Emily smiles softly at the touch, relaxing a little. “How bad was it?” she asks, her hand moving up to take JJ's off her cheek and squeezes her hand.
“Pretty bad,” JJ says, squeezing back and placing a kiss on her knuckles. “You had a broken rib and you were bleeding internally.”
Emily blinks, fidgeting with JJ's fingertips. “Oh,” she whispers and turns her head away from her, “I didn’t know.”
JJ squints her eyes at her, the way she's avoiding her gaze and distracting herself from JJ's eyes, the one tell she catches faster than anyone else. “The doctor didn't find anything when you were checked earlier?” she asks gently. Emily opens her mouth like she's going to say something, but then she clenches it shut. “Emily?” JJ asks, harder this time, almost demanding.
Emily shrugs, her eyes careful. “I kind of didn’t let them check me out,” she says, the confession hitting JJ like a brick. “They told me to stay for a full scan, and I had a feeling something was wrong, but…” she trails off, refusing to meet her eyes.
JJ finishes her sentence for her. “You ignored it?” she asks and Emily gives a curt nod. JJ feels her heart rate quicken, a mix between worry and anger. “Emily, what the hell?!” she kind of whisper-shouts.
“We had a man to catch,” Emily says like it's nothing, like she didn't ignore the fact that she was dying. “You guys needed me,” she says and finally looks at her again. Her eyes are soft and careful, dark with a kind of nervousness JJ has only seen a few times.
It's hard to stay mad when she's there, the breathing tube and soft beeping to remind her she almost lost her. “Yeah, and I need you alive,” JJ says, her voice harsher than she means to, and she sees the way it hits. She softens her voice and continues, holding Emily's gaze, “Em, you could've died, you would've if we didn't catch it in time.”
Emily shakes her head softly. “I’m sorry,” she says, hand reaching out for JJ's. She hesitates at first, but lets their fingers curl around each other and they settle in JJ's lap. “I was gonna tell you when we got back, and I swear I didn’t know it was this bad. But then it kind of caught up on me.”
JJ can't help the slight chuckle she lets out. “Yeah, you don't say,” she says with a crooked smile. Then it falters and she adds, “You collapsed in my arms, Emily. Do you know how scared I was?”
“I know,” Emily says, running her thumb over JJ's. “I’m sorry,” Her eyes go all dark and it's impossible to argue back.
“Don’t do that,” JJ says, giving her a half-smile.
Emily looks so genuinely confused and it’s the cutest thing JJ has ever seen her do. “Do what?” she asks.
“Don’t look at me like that,” she says, “You know, those dark doe-eyes that makes it impossible to be mad at you.”
Emily chuckles a little. “I’m sorry,” she says again, biting the inside of her cheek, her eyes glossing over. “I just– I didn’t want to worry you when you were already so busy with this case.”
JJ shakes her head and nods, squeezing Emily’s hand. “I know, it’s okay,” she says softly, “but I’m always going to worry about you when you get hurt, it’s kind of part of the duties as your girlfriend—and your partner in this job. It’s just how it works, Em.” She lets out a soft chuckle before adding, “just promise me you won’t leave against doctor’s orders again, please.”
Emily smiles softly, her lips , and JJ moves to stoke her cheek. “Deal,” she mutters, “because I am in a lot of pain right now.” She lets out a small chuckle, but clutches her rib again.
“Yeah, that’d be the broken rib,” JJ says with a crooked smile. “Scoot over.” She motions for Emily to move in the small hospital bed, and she does, making just enough space for JJ to settle in beside her.
Emily rests her head against JJ’s chest, and JJ runs a hand down Emily’s arm. “I swear the broken rib was Muller’s fault,” she reasons, her lips grazing the skin on JJ’s neck, “because he pain wasn’t there before we found him.”
JJ hums against her, feeling Emily’s skin catch goosebumps at her breath hitting her neck. “I almost lost you,” JJ whispers and feels Emily’s hair tickling her cheek and her lips.
Emily kisses her jaw softly, whispers, “but you didn’t,” as her hand comes to settle on JJ’s cheek, stroking softly. “I’ll always find my way back to you.”
JJ pulls back just enough to kiss her, her lips still cold, but her skin warm. “I love you,” she whispers against her lips and Emily kisses her again, quick but gentle in that way that feels terrifyingly close to home.
She’s not sure when she realized—through years of kisses and secrets and intimacy she used to dream about being able to get, it’s turned into the truth—Emily is her home, and wherever she is, is where she belongs.
“I love you too,” she whispers back, and lets Emily rest her head in the crook of her neck.