Chapter Text
Cross led Blue to the kitchens and sat down at the table. He should probably monitor the Star Sans rather than letting him wander the base alone. And he didn’t want to be around Ink. He understood why Killer had chosen to bring the Stars, everyone would need a debrief and it made more sense to do it here, but that didn’t mean he was willing to talk with that traitor more than strictly necessary. He watched Blue work instead. “I can help you if you’d like.” Cross offered.
“Thank you, Cross!” Blue said with a smile. “Could you please help me find some meat? Horror said Dust likes meatloaf, so I think I’ll make some.” Horror probably would have made a cannibalism joke there, but Cross just went over to the fridge.
“We don’t keep a lot of meat around, since boss doesn’t eat it, but water sausages make a good substitute.” Cross said, bringing some out. “But if you don’t know how to make meatloaf with them, I think we have some uncooked steaks we stole from Mettaton's restaurant last week.”
“...I’m just going to ignore that and say that I can use either. A mixture of both tends to be best, in my opinion.” Blue said.
“Here you go.” Cross pulled out the steak. Blue grabbed some eggs, and looked around.
“Where are the knives?”
“Killer tends to take any knives left lying around. We all carry blades, anyway.” Cross informed him. “You can use this one, if you want.” He pulled out a utility knife he kept for when the larger one he used in combat wasn’t practical.
“Thanks?” Blue took the knife and rinsed it before getting to work on preparing the ingredients. “Do you have a lot of these?”
“By normal standards or by interdimensional gang member standards?” Cross asked. Killer carried far more than him, but he did have more than Dust.
“Right. So, a lot then?”
“Probably.” Cross shrugged.
“So, what’s your story?” Cross frowned at the word. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to! It’s just- I know the basics of why your teammates are the way they are, even if I’m sure I don’t know everything. But no one seems to know much about you aside from Ink, and he’s not telling. I’m just curious.” Blue assured.
“Don’t call it a story, alright? It’s my life, not some tale for entertainment.” Cross said.
“Alright, then. But could you tell me more about yourself, then? If you don’t mind, of course!”
Cross hesitated. “Why do you want to know?”
Blue shrugged slightly. “I told you, I’m curious. I know at least a little about your teammates, albeit not as much as I’d like, but no one seems to know anything about you. We’re going to be working together for the foreseeable future, so I figured there’s no harm in asking.”
“... I don’t like thinking about my world. It doesn’t matter anymore, anyway. It’s gone, and it’s not coming back.” Cross said firmly. He’d asked Error to delete the remains himself, to stop himself from having to wonder if there was anything he could do to bring them back, to stop the worry of being forced back to the emptiness. There was no point in looking back, not when he had a new place in the multiverse. A new family, in a way. “But I guess you could ask me some questions, so long as you don’t bring it up.”
“Thank you!” Blue said with a smile. “If you don’t want to talk about where you come from, how about we talk about your life now? You have that portal knife, so you can probably travel pretty easily. What’s your favorite AU?”
“This one. It’s called Undernight, if you’re curious.” Cross said with a smile. “People love to talk about the stars in Outertale, but they’re almost too bright if you ask me. I prefer the skies here. And the woods are so full of life. Of course, the best part is the others. This place is my home now.” Cross stood to help Blue find a loaf pan and watched as the other skeleton scooped the mixture into it.
“That’s nice.” Blue said, in a slightly wistful tone. “I’ve traveled the multiverse, but… There’s only one place that’s ever really felt like home to me, and it’s the one place I can’t go back to.” Cross remembered what Blue had told him about the glitch that could spread if he returned home. He briefly considered the possibility of trying to edit Blue’s code to fix it, but he doubted Blue would trust him enough to even let him try.
“I’m sorry.” Cross said. A part of him wondered why Blue wouldn’t consider the place he lived with the other Star Sanses home, but he thought he might know the answer. Home is where the heart is, where the people you love are, and while Blue might think of Ink and Dream as friends they weren’t his in the way Killer, Horror, Dust, and Nightmare were Cross’s.
“It’s alright.” Blue said, placing the loaf in the oven and setting a timer. “I enjoy traveling the multiverse, and I love helping people. I wouldn’t trade my place with the Stars. I just miss it sometimes.”
“Having a home?”
Blue nodded. “I’m glad you found one, even here. A lot of outcodes never really do.” Cross tilted his head a little at the statement. Did Blue actually mean that? He knew the damage Cross had done, all of them had done. But he was still glad Cross had found a home?
Cross wasn’t as good at reading people as some of the others, but his instincts said that Blue was telling the truth. “Thank you.”
“One thing that’s always struck me as odd about you is that you don’t really hurt anyone unless they attack first. But you still fight by your teammate’s side, even though they kill innocent people. Why are you the exception?” Blue asked.
“Because I’m the only one who really wanted to be.” Cross shrugged. “We do what we do. I’m a guard. I protect those I care for from threats. But while I might kill an innocent if Nightmare asked me too, it’s something I’m uncomfortable doing myself. The team respects that boundary, and I don’t really care that they don’t share it.”
“Nightmare’s willing to let you do that?” Blue said in a surprised tone. Cross tamped down his annoyance, reminding himself that Nightmare wanted to be viewed that way. He wanted the multiverse to see the cruelty he wore like armor, not the gentle kindness he showed those he called his own.
“Yes. If he wants someone dead, he can just ask Killer.” Cross said. “Dust is the only one who’s ever really had a problem with it, and only because he worries about me. He sometimes fears I’m not strong enough without the LV. But Nightmare doesn’t care.” That wasn’t quite true. Nightmare cared so much, for all of them. Not that he could say that to Blue.
“Huh. I should tell Dream when we get him back. He’ll be glad to hear that there’s still some good in his brother.” Blue said. Cross hesitated, unsure if he should correct Blue, but decided against it. The Stars could think whatever they wanted. Cross and the others knew the truth. Nightmare was exactly who he meant to be, and they were behind him all the way.