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Wayne Enterprises @WayneEnterprisesOfficial
Wayne Enterprises has become aware of serious allegations suggesting that our CEO, Bruce Wayne had an altercation with the Joker yesterday afternoon, resulting in serious physical injury to the other party. As of right now, we cannot confirm the identity of the perpetrator, and given the prevalence of hearsay arguments and speculative evidence circulating, WE will be contacting an independent third party to conduct a thorough investigation.
Thank you for your consideration.
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BRUCIE xxx @BruceWayneOfficial
No that was me I definitly just beat htat guy up
kik @Polkageist
AND IN COMES BRUCIE WITH THE STEEL CHAIR
Illian @DogShtDotNet
Case closed I guess
WHOA MAMA @Ferretical
Joker: Im about to ruin this random kid’s life
Bruce: Hold my pina colada
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Sal of steel @BatmansLeftTiddie
It’s important to lead your life in such a way that when you’re beaten up by the town himbo on a Gotham city street the internet at large doesn’t react like to Ewoks watching the second Death Star explode
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Thalia :D @Robininsms
Joker *exists*
Brucie: we live in a society
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Moustache man @mombojombo
How does it feel to be the funniest person on earth?
Step on me plz Ivy @Berdsofpray
Fav Brucie moment: when he went onto Hot Ones and was dared to pretend to be Batman as a joke, so this mf DROWNS the largest wing in the hottest sauce they offered, eats it with the flattest face possible, looked directly at the camera with a straight face and said ‘crime never sleeps’ before melting into the shadows
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Elaina is here @Dior_baby
You’re forgetting the bit where they found him backstage literally sobbing from the spice lmao
Knight of Valor @SirGoodleSnoof
Anything for the bit
Elaina is here @Dior_baby
We respect that
Toby @testostoblerone
Most of my problems are abstract or systematic, at least Brucie gets to beat up a couple of his
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Carter @clowwncard
Hear me out,,, the Joker
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Just Lurkin’ @ANONYEMONE
Oh man this guy is so unemployed
Nora @clownkicker3000
He is. Nathan Hudson Carlisle, Age 26, NEET, 4/15 Dunworth St, The Bowery, Gotham
Carter @clowwncard
TF BRO
Hannahbanana @HannaHighPants
Guys literally idk how many times i have to say this but??? You have to stop stanning the Joker he’s literally so problematic, I found this article from fifteen years ago and he said all kinds of awful stuff??? And never apologised??? Literally if you support him you’re a terrible person no exception
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help @Trashtronaught
Oh no!!! not an article from fifteen years ago!!! Guess it’s all over for him now
Maeve @McCarthyOnTop
Girl hate to break it to u but the guy’s KDR is like 10k ppl. Go touch grass and you’ll probably spot Joker committing a crime against humanity of some sort while ur out there
Dosei @YurassicFrog
How is he pushing fifty but still has the survival instincts of a drunk college student on a post-finals binge i need to Know
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BRUCIE xxx @BruceWayneOfficial
Guys look at this lmao
[The image shows a series of angry texts from a contact labelled ‘Party Pooper Drpartment Head’ . The texts are berating him for beating up someone in public, not telling the PR department about it, ditching the meeting about it, then making everything a million times worse on social media. Bruce has responded exactly once, with a ‘¯\_(ツ)_/¯’ kaomoji. The contact, presumably the WE PR department head, has responded with ‘ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)’ and a gif of someone getting violently strangled.]
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Illian @DogShtDotNet
Hello Bruce this is your lawyer speaking. I am advising you today to please keep posting this shit
BRUCIE xxx @BruceWayneOfficial
Okay :D
AJ @AverageJams5k
BRUCIE?
Lian @7thDeadlySinbiote
@DogShtDotNet you’re doing a service to humanity rn
Korra my love @Lastchairbender
Explaining all this to my work colleagues has been the highlight of my day
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Tommy is broke @Ponzischemer
Guess we know which house is getting joker gassed next
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Xinyi @MajorGeneralXin
Bruce: Life is short, so let’s make it shorter
Jafari @SJafari65
This is unpleasant I dislike this
Charlemagne @Maj_Gen_Charles
This is nice I like this
Tommy is broke @Ponzischemer
I think you two should try killing each other
Wuji @UrMomIsABadGamer
It comforts me that people can always be trusted to come together and be stupid in groups
Alina @DivineAlina6000
Couldn’t he have just gone straight for a killshot rather than a concussion
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BRUCIE xxx @BruceWayneOfficial
Murder is bad
Alina @DivineAlina6000
OMG HI MR WAYNE
Sal of steel @BatmansLeftTiddie
Mr wayne pls just finish him off next time it’s for the betterment of humanity i promise
MJ @vaposaurus69
als ich das zum ersten mal horte, dachte ich, ich hatte versehentlich das shinzo abe pack 1000 grad heißes messer nirvana haze gras eingenommen, aber nein. es ist der Joker der ins pflegeheim muss.
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AJ @AverageJams5k
‘shinzo abe pack 1000’ once again shotgun blasting a hole in the language barrier
Rus (She/her) @RuselkieW2
Oh my fucking god
help @Trashtronaught
none of those words are in the bible
Daisy Grace @daisymoon
Going to Gotham soon! Any survival tips?
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JCZ761 (bob) @JCZ761
Tip 1. Dont go to gotham
Daisy Grace @daisymoon
Thanks, any other, more useful tips?
Call me BatDaddy @Vengeanceman
Tip 2. Reconsider life choices
Daisy Grace @daisymoon
You’re all useless
BRUCIE xxx @BruceWayneOfficial
My lawyer adivsed I should, and I quote ‘keep posting this shit’ so I will. PR clearly has no idea what theyre talking about so yeah.
Anyway I made a disstrack
[badjokes.mp3]
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Francis Francis Francis the 3rd @FrancisX3
Instantly added to my playlist
Sean | New single out now! @SeanTheJazzman
‘And now that I know its rappin' time
I pick some words and I make them rhyme’
I love this man
Jojo @AdmiralCrackbar
Oh my god
REGINA @gorgonglamorous
@DogShtDotNet you’ve performed a service to humanity
Charlie | Lover of Queens @RaRaCharlesputin
If bruce wayne was a woman I would carry his children like a loyal seahorse
Bones @Bonerotted15
@DogShtDotNet As Brucie’s new lawyer, what do you have to say for yourself
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Illian @DogShtDotNet
I believe thinking before posting is a sign of weakness
Makima best girl @Knaifuwaifu
He said that murder is wrong, but didn’t hesitate to drop that disstrack. Hypocrite
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Morphe @bat_hyperfixeration
‘Murder is bad’ Proceeds to verbally murder the joker
Kit | STREAM BADJOKES @KentuckyFriedRice
STREAM BADJOKES!!! LET’S GET 1M STREAMS!!!
Matoko @Kurushiznagi
‘certified pyschopath, uncertified clown’ Instantly obliterated
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KIWI SAW THE BATS @KiwiAppleFruit
There were zero survivors
Scrungus @DANKMEMER
Im at a true
:.|:;for words.
Matoko @Kurushiznagi
die
Actus @Xcarnation
This is the way the world ends (for the joker). Not with a bang, but with a banger.
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Kathyrinaaaaa @Its_katy
Sooo. Has anyone else noticed that he looked way too comfortable beating up the Joker in that video? I’ve done martial arts for years, and thos strikes were practiced, AND they were placed to both disable and cause the most pain. I think the conspiracy girlies need to pull out the ‘bruce wayne is batman’ red string boards again
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Markus @markistired
It’s bc they’re dating
august @ batfan031
Not this AGAIN
Vlad (sun cult priestess) @noodlespagoodle
MOM THE BRUCE-WAYNE-IS-BATMAN TRUTHERS ARE BACK AGAIN
august @ batfan031
In the r/JLWATCHERS community, attempting to guess the civillian IDs of heroes is accepted, however a cardinal rule is that NOBODY is gonna believe BRUCE WAYNE is batman. Seriously, you’re all trolls. Go touch grass
ANYA DESERVED BETTER @HibiscusHopes
Yeah bc BW got a batman decal on the side of his lamborghini and tried stopping crime, but ended up breaking his wrist bc he accidentally punched a wall. Sure. That’s batman.
Jace @GildedLinings
Batman is built different, and so is Bruce. But when i say different, Batman is built like a revenant immortal cryptid, whereas Bruce’s bones have the structural integrity of uncooked pasta. Dude does high-intensity yoga and ends up in a full-body cast every other month. Yeah sure, they’re built different.
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The only gamer ever @JoeGames
Bruce Wayne is too short to be Batman send tweet
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meirin @galofgotham
But what about my superbat old man yaoi height difference?
The only gamer ever @JoeGames
kys
Matteo (invincible era) @param0r0n
The chemicals that make you want a baby are mixing with decades of microplastics in your brain
Panda @Pxuniow
Y’all really think this is batman.
[The camera shows a repeating gif, looping five seconds of Bruce Wayne comically ragdolling down a set of marble stairs. He lies prone at the landing for a second, before making eye contact with the camera from the floor and performing double fingerguns at the operator. ]
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AARON @NebulaNobody
Batman wishes he was Bruce Wayne
Tim @TimDrakeWayne
All robins had a hair phase, except for batman. Subsequently, there is a non-zero chance this is because he is bald. If we’re going to be selecting random billionaires for superheroes, then i can think of one who is more likely.
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Steph @KYSClueMaster
Just say it, coward. #LexLuthorisBatman
RavenTV @Corvideos
Bruce wayne is claiming his and Batman’s butts match. I, for one, have never seen Batman’s butt bc there’s too much cape in the way. I need more proof.
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Elaina is here @Dior_baby
I see what you’re doing and its genius.
Nina @Xinigo_montoyax
Aren’t they dating though?? You don’t need any proof that the butts match
RavenTV @Corvideos
I’m well aware I just want ppl to fill my replies with pics of the BatButtTM
Nina @Xinigo_montoyax
That’s positively evil of you. Count me in.
Nina @Xinigo_montoyax
Bruce Wayne isn’t batman bc he could never have batman’s flatty patty. Batman fans, prove me wrong.
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Nina @Xinigo_montoyax
@Corvideos I have expanded the target audience to include the Batstans. Spite shall be the greatest motivator
RavenTV @Corvideos
I bow before your even greater genius and your sacrifice
Nina @Xinigo_montoyax
o7 All for the BatButtTM
Gotham Gazette | Gotham’s #1 News @GothamGazette
Next, watch live as we interview Bruce Wayne, richest man in Gotham, about his recent altercation with the Joker
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Keith :3 @Lethalhorizon
Anchor: Why did you think this was a good idea?
Wayne: Probably the black mould, in all honesty
Sunny is living her best life @Sabretoothsloth
“This is enough character development for me, where the hell’s my beach episode” ICONIC
Kacia |VIOLENCE @scarecrowvaporizer
I fuckin CALLED IT
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Gotham Updates @Gotham_Updates
LADIES AND GENTS, HE’S DONE IT AGAIN.
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Nora @clownkicker3000
Who what where
Gotham Updates @Gotham_Updates
Three guesses and the first two don’t count
DinkleBean @DinkleBeanTV
This guy’s an actual legend.
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Pidgeon @PidgeyAO365
So. I did a thing. Hehe.
https://ao3-rd-8.onrender.com/works/63969415
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Evie @EvieWritesFic
OMG PIDGE YUO DIDNT
Evie @EvieWritesFic
LEMME BETA
Evie @EvieWritesFic
PIDGE
Snowy @Snowetaitla
Bruce Wayne beating up a doctor is unacceptable behaviour. What money can let you get away with disgusts me.
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Mystical Melody Art @Mysticalmelodyart
So close! For Crane to be a doctor, he needs a valid medical license, not a diagnosis for clinical insanity
Lise @Aphrodiction32
Is this doctor in the room with us right now
Bonnny @Bonbonarella
Hey guys, I don’t mean to be clueless on main, but why is everyone celebrating this doctor getting beaten up? Isn’t it assault? On like a medical professional too? Why r we all hatin i need to know
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Kira <3 @akirazura
He basically sells drugs too healthy for an FDA approval
Andy @Andry1997
He’s a big fan of using ppl as test subjects without asking them first. Also the terrorism
Bonnny @Bonbonarella
Ah
REGINA @gorgonglamorous
Where tf is batman i thought this was his job
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Peta needs a vacation @Hedgefrog27
Batcave. Or napping. Idk. Man’s nocturnal.
Taytay @couchpotayto
It’s just so much better when there’s no vigilantes or heroes or ‘chosen one’ crap involved, there’s just something magical about Just Some Guy with a brick ready to throw hands
Gotham Updates @Gotham_Updates
BREAKING NEWS: Bruce Wayne has been caught on camera beating up a SECOND Gotham rogue (Scarecrow), and we all know who won.
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Gotham Updates @Gotham_Updates
Beat that, Metropolis