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John,
Lestrade has made the suggestion that I write you a letter to acknowledge an understanding of the impact my decisions have had on you and our…friendship? Association? Relationship? I have tried to tell Lestrade that I have never known a word that fully describes what we had and that a letter would be difficult. He has not been sympathetic. Strangely, Mycroft has made a similar suggestion, which has made me question further the wisdom of this idea.
In any event, I will rely on their advice and try to express in words the things I do not have words to express.
- We gained each other’s trust and companionship to an extent I have never experienced.
- I made a decision that was certain to destroy your trust in me and underestimated the impact my fake death would have on you. I stand by the decision that my initial actions were necessary, but I could have disclosed my survival to you earlier. I was worried that doing so would endanger my life and yours. I now believe I was wrong.
- I missed you.
- I’m sorry.
Perhaps you will read this in a way that interlineates any additional, difficult sentiments.
-WSSH
P.S. I also do not wish to see you separate from your soon-to-be fiancée. I vow not to interfere again when you next attempt to propose to her.