Chapter Text
“Hey! Hey, take a breath. Tell me what happened.” Roy tried to console the unbridled fury that coursed through your veins. A reminder of the past couple days ran through your mind and it all came barreling back in full.
You were drowning in rage, tears fell from your face as you whipped to look at him.
“It’s unbelievable!!” You tried to reign in your voice, pissed beyond recognition.
You don’t think you’ve ever felt a rage like this in your life.
You felt as though you could crush metal, breathe fire! Scream until someone’s ears bled.
You took in a shaken breath.
“He was going to leave us.” Your words dripped in venom. You watched a shudder run down Roy’s spine at the hate in your voice.
“From the beginning, Please?”
You had to take a few quick breaths to settle your blood into something manageable. You sniffed hard and scrubbed away the tears.
“Okay.” You said, feeling refreshed again. “Okay. The trip started out like normal-“
The three of you decided to leave extremely early in the morning in order to rent the vehicle.
You all decided to stay in Metropolis for a few days, to help Easton move and enjoy the last few days of break together.
You paid for the hotel. Dalton paid for the car. Easton enjoys the ride— it was his birthday week after all.
Simple, right?
Dalton drove first, the car was more expensive than he planned. You had to reassure him that it’d be fine. He would get paid that weekend so he could still enjoy the trip, your treat.
He drove 4 hours, you drove 7, he drove 2 more. You drove until night fell. Growing weary with the odd energy that followed you.
It was probably just the tired hungry mood.
Then Easton found a Dennys still open at 1 am.
Nothing remarkable about the meal, you covered Easton plate. Then tipped the waitress $20. Dalton wasn’t happy about that, telling you to be more careful with your money. You only have so much.
“Who is he to tell me what to do with money?!” You huffed, Roy moved to hand you your drink. You didn’t realize just how dehydrated you felt until the first sip. Then you’re chugging it like a maniac.
“You ready to continue?” He seemed oddly calm, maybe he’s not realized yet WHY you’re mad.
The three of you continue the drive. Dalton allowed you to rest one whole hour before he decided to park and rest.
Unable to sleep, you took over the drive. The rest of the night was fine, switching on and off with Dalton until you took over the final time to bring you into Metropolis. Exhaustion weighed heavy as you entered the clean beautiful city, with more roundabouts than should be necessary.
“I just don’t understand.” You interrupt yourself, betrayal threading into your words.
“Me neither.” Roy’s poor attempt to cheer you up fell flat in sight of your thundering emotions. “J-just finish your story.”
“Okay.. yeah.”
The first day was mostly spent sleeping. A few times you noticed the signs of the inevitable betrayal. You didn’t notice at the time.
The remarks of how he ‘wasn’t here to celebrate Eastons birthday ’ like the rest of you. Or how he would control the vehicle the entire time..
The second day was spent moving Easton into his buddy; Koda’s, house. Biscuit was left to stay there for the remainder of the trip. Just until it was time to go home.
The third day things kept getting… weird. The four of you— Dalton, Easton, Koda, and yourself. Went to a science museum. Dalton bought tickets and when halfway through, it was clear the science was for kids. Easton and Koda wanted to bounce.
And that set Dalton off.
You spent the better part of your afternoon making sure Dalton's emotions were in check while the others got to enjoy the beautiful park and pleasant weather.
“I should have fucking noticed.” You scrub at your face angrily, willing the tears to end.
“You couldn’t have… do you want to keep going?”
“Oh yeah. There’s no fucking way a damn soul on this planet won’t know what he tried.”
The fourth day… you should have known just how it would go based on the weather alone.
It was cold, the clouds wouldn’t let an ounce of sunlight through. Raining lightly at random moments.
Dalton woke you up that morning with a suggestion to visit a breakfast place. It served pie.
Easton opted to stay at the hotel and sleep.
The air still felt off, like something was wrong but no one was talking about it.
You sat and ordered in silence, trying to think of something to talk about. Blanking on what it is you usually chatter about.
Food arrived and you both ate. It was served cold and bland, the staff was tightlipped and short worded. Leaving you feeling stilted.
You mention this to him, trying to make a joke. Bring some of that comfort in your friendship back.
“Maybe the foods so bland cus their clientele’s so old they’d die from too much flavor.” You snickered.
Dalton snipped at you.
“That’s not funny.”
“Huh?”
“It’s not funny to make fun of old people dying like that. You shouldn’t make those jokes.”
“I didn’t mean it.”
“Whatever.” Fell into silence once more. Uncertain as to what could cause this kind of attitude change.
You kept silent, not wanting to upset him any further by accident. He did the same, going so far as to ignore you, or even look at you.
Paid the bill and went back to the hotel. The day was already feeling like a failure.
Then the four of you decided to drive a couple hours out of the way to see the ocean.
Your brother's friend, Koda, used to live in the area. So he wanted to show the beach he used to go to.
Halfway through, to make conversation, you brought up common interests. Koda ended up shouting a quote from something and startled a driving Dalton.
“Don’t you fucking yell! The fuck was that for?!” He spit out, shrinking Koda into their seat. You and Easton shared a look and reassured the car that everything was fine.
Stewing in silence, the drive continued.
The mood changed once you got to the beach. Koda took pictures of everyone with his professional camera.
You stood on the edge of the cliff. Watching each beat of waves crashing to shore.
Your brother took off to explore the beach and pick up seashells.
Dalton stayed in the car smoking, again.
You had this feeling in the pit of your chest, as though letting him be by himself would be an act of abandonment, so you took his side.
Koda and Easton ran around the cold beach with glee, occasionally finding a clever way to pose and take artistic pictures.
The sight had you grinning, they acted as kids. Having such joyous endless fun.
Dalton took out another cigarette.
“I don’t remember what I said or if I kept asking if he was okay. But, he snapped at me kind of. Said like ‘I’m just enjoying the scenery. I’m fine .’ Or something. I remember being really thrown off about it. Like… damn, okay.” You sat on the couch next to Roy at this point, your knees touching. The little actions of platonic affection had you feeling less alone.
When you got home and your apartment was empty with no signs of Jason, you let Biscuit out to roam in her familiar surroundings. Then decided you couldn’t be alone with the shaking rage that trembled under your skin.
You went next door and pounded on the door until Roy finally answered.
“Is that what he did? To make you so mad!” You hit him with a confused expression.
“Huh? Oh! No- no… that- that happens on day five. The final day.”
The night before day five, on the drive back to the hotel. Easton wanted some salt water taffy. Koda knew a really cute toffee shop on the way back to town.
Dalton was getting frustrated at kodas memory and directions. Considering he hadn’t been there since he was a child, it was understandable.
But, Dalton ended up pulling over at some point to get exasperated.
“It’s okay, if we miss it we can turn around!” You helpfully advise, hoping to defuse the car's panicked—angry energy.
“I’m not driving all fucking night for taffy.” Dalton quickly shot at you. You had to keep from biting back in anger.
‘Then I will. You can wait at the hotel or something.’ But you didn’t.
Luckily, it was spotted. Only you, Koda and Easton got out.
“I don’t want to be here all night.” Dalton complained.
Ride back was silent, as if any small thing would set him off again.
“Then we get to yesterday.” You let out a shaken breath, feeling foolish and alone.
“Yesterday.” Roy repeated, as though it would settle the storm of thoughts. Flashes of everything that happened, of all the tears and screaming.
“So… this was Eastons 21st birthday. We wanted to do something special…” you looked at Roy again, he focused on the storm behind your expression.
“He wanted to go to a karaoke bar. One with secluded rooms and you have a menu. Things like that.” He nodded, understanding what you meant. “For days I searched for exactly that. Little moments here and there, combing through Metropolis shops—stores—- establishments. And I found it. On the way back from the ocean, I called and made a reservation at 7pm for us…”
Then day five happened.
The final day.
Dalton just got paid, he bought breakfast. Then you all began to plan the day until 7 pm. It was Eastons birthday after all, he should choose what to do.
“Antique store!” He declared it should be the first place to go. Dalton drove right past it and didn’t turn around.
“There will be other antique stores. Look! A music shop.”
Your bladder was starting to scream at you. That you remember clearly, searching for a bathroom.
No bathrooms at the music shop.
“There’s bathrooms at the mall!” Dalton declared. “Plus I can get a boba tea.”
Boba tea sounded good, so you agreed.
While you and Dalton ran in, Easton stayed in the car. You sprinted to the bathroom, then the boba shop. Dalton was nowhere to be found. After you got your drink you finally spotted Dalton next to build a bear.
“Look Dodo, I could get a stuffed Bowser.” He was already getting his wallet out
“You can go ahead, I’m going back to the car. Eastons still out there.” It was his birthday, he was alone in the car without the keys.
“Just thought it would be something fun to do with you’ll be muttered before storming off ahead of you. Angry at you now..
When you all got into the car again, Easton suggested what else to do till it was time to pick uploads at 2 and hang out till the reservations at 7.
The plan he suggested for HIS birthday was: go get party supplies and cake, pick up Koda. Drop ice cream cake off at the hotel till 6:30p. Get everyone’s fortunes read, go to karaoke.
You agreed, this was a fair and fun birthday plan!
“I was thinking of getting a tattoo.” Dalton finally spoke, you frowned in response.
“Maybe we could all get tattoos.”
“Uh, we probably don’t have time today. But, we can later- like tomorrow?” You suggested, he went silent after that.
Then you arrived at a Wal-Mart.
To be honest most of the shopping was a blur…
Your hands shook as you spoke around the lump in your throat.
“We got the party supplies… Easton and I got in line… Dalton was nowhere to be found.”
It took a bit of searching, but he was in the video game section. Looking at which games to buy for himself.
Easton was pissed, so he went up front.
Dalton noticed and followed right after.
In the middle of the store, he snapped at your brother.
“Want to tell me why you’re mad at me?”
“I don’t want to talk about it here.” People started to look and wonder. Easton stood his ground on not getting into a shouting match in the middle of a grocery store.
“Whatever, give me my car keys.” He yanked the keys from your grasp and stormed out.
Alone and outside, you spoke to Easton.
“Hey, is everything okay?”
“No! He’s completely taken over my birthday and ignoring what I wanted to do and— ugh!!”
You nodded to agree.
“When we were at the mall he wanted to go to Build A Bear with me while you were in the car.”
“Of fucking course he did. Could have done it any other day this week but NO, wants to do it on the ONLY day we had actual plans on.”
“Let’s go talk to him about it. I’m sure we’ll figure it out.” You hoped… foolishly
As soon as you closed the passenger door—- as SOON as Easton sat in his SEAT !
The yelling began.
“Want to tell me what the fuck I did?!” As if he couldn’t believe the audacity of anyone being mad at him.
Your hands shook as you recounted details of the tale.
It echoed in your mind, the sounds of your brother breaking down crying with anger.
The terrible things Dalton screamed to try and get a reaction.
There was a moment of hesitancy in you. Something you felt guilty about, it tore you apart.
He just belittled your FAMILY for seemingly no reason. And yet you hesitated??
You were in shock, probably, your closest friend… your most valued confidant… verbally attacking your brother? On his birthday?
Still, you hesitated before grabbing your stuff and fleeing the car. Ignoring whatever he had to say to your back.
You had bigger things to worry about.
Your mind goes hazy with the next part, you continued anyway:
You found Easton on a call with someone, quiet sniffles and choked sobs as he listened to the other end. When you try to remember who it was he was speaking to, you come up blank.
You held your usually apathetic and stoic brother as he attempted to control his anguished cries.
It only felt like a few minutes of sitting there. Hoping Dalton would cool off before attempting to continue the day together. A minute of you and your brother TRYING to make sense of his anger. Of his sudden… attack!
Then, your phone rang. It was Dalton.
Hope flooded your chest.
‘He’s going to apologize!’
“ Hello ?”
“ You guys can either get into the car or find another way back to the hotel. I’m not sitting in a parking lot all day.”
“Oh.. uh, we can find a different way back. Still need to cool off, y’know?”
“ Whatever.”
*click*
He’s leaving the two of you there. In a strange town, dying cell phones, no way to drive. No one is around to help. No one to call.
You’re still in a haze, your brother slipped from the careful calm he found, back into uncontrollable sobbing.
You’re older. You’re grown. You need to handle this.
“Let’s go to your new place.”
All the way across town. Not a short walk. Probably 2 hours at least.
Need to get…
Bus station! You can ride the bus to the neighborhood.
Issue is.. you’re small town. So small, public transportation is almost unheard of.
Still, the two of you made it to the nearest stop. Anxiety pushed aside with desperation, you asked the lovely older lady with piles of massive bags filled to the brim and stretching seams of stuff. What it is you’ll need to do.
“Well, you’ll need to pay the bus fare. Which bus are you taking? Do you, dears, know what route?”
Your breathing became uneven.
“Um. I uh.. I don’t know.”
“There’s a map, can you find your route? Do you know how to?”
Your vision shook as you tried to make sense very quickly of the jumbled colors and lines on the board. Your breathing became puffs of distress as it just tangled together and twisted around.
Your brother managed to take a breath and show the woman his phone. The information already loaded on his screen.
“Oh! That’ll be this bus pulling up now.”
“Oh.”
What luck!
“Do they take card?” You attempted to regain a sense of control as your legs begged for you to paddle in the growing depths you swam.
“They only take cash.” Your heart sank.
“Is-is there an ATM somewhere?”
The squeal of the bus as it slowly began to take position at the stop.
Your heartbeat sped up.
“There’s one at the store on the corner.”
Others at the bus stop attempted to assist your growing panic.
The bus hissed. You looked to try and see where the ATM would be, not even certain how much it’ll cost for a ticket. Or if you could be back in time.
“Here dear, I’ve got some cash.”
“Oh-“ your voice broke.
“-if you have the app-“ someone else cut in, feeling the panic that started to crawl rapidly into the air.
“-I’m sure they’ll wait-“
“-If we ask-“
“-you can always catch-“
“-run all day-“
“What’s the problem?”
The bus driver's voice cut through the noise of chaos like scissors through wrapping paper. Ripping the voices away cleanly, quieting everyone to a smooth edge.
They turned to look at the two of you.
The sight of two young adults. Red puffy face, blotted with snot and obvious tears, Easton crying subsided by this point to an occasional sniffle. The both of you shaking with fear, heavy breathing, messy clothes. Cold with the Northern winter air.
Holding each other close as though the world may have been ending.
“We-“ the older lady cut you off after your words came out unsteadily.
“These two kids need to take this bus until stop 19. they’ve never been on a public bus before.”
“They don’t have the money for the bus fare.”
One of the girls that had been waiting close by chipped in. Being one of the voices that tried to give advice not even moments ago.
“They were crying when they walked up.”
Another man tried to chime in with his own unnecessary details.
“Don’t worry about the fare.”
The bus driver waved your worries away, he reached over and tore two slips from a large notebook.
“You take these and they’ll let you ride ANY bus for free. All day. But ONLY today. Okay?”
He was gruff, but his eyes had a soft kindness behind it.
“I- uh-“ you stammered then grabbed them with tears springing forward once more.
“Thank you. Yes. Thank you so much.”
He nodded once, sharply.
“Get on so we’re not late.”
Your head bobbed uncontrollably, probably laughably. Your thoughts were elsewhere as you led your brother forward by the shoulders.
Finding a seat and trying to sink into them and hide from the dozens of eyes which decided you were the exciting new thing.
The bus doors closed with a his and the bus lurched. He looked over his shoulder at you two through the mirror.
“Now, when you need off. Just ring the bell when your stop comes up. Okay?”
Easton nodded, you tried to make sense of what “bell” he was talking about. And how exactly you’re meant to “ring” it.
You weren’t certain which stop it was, how far it would be, how many stops he’d be taking before then. How long before the stop you’re supposed to wait before indicating it to be your stop. Do you ring right when you see it down the street? Do you ring it at the stop before it? Do you ring once you get close to it!
Your anxiety was a mess, your brother had his eyes glued to the GPS on his phone, loaded with your bus route in front of the two of you.
Your hands twitched with anticipation as the stop drew closer and closer.
Panic rose in your throat, uncertain when to pull the string. To ask him for help now after he’s already done an incredibly kind thing would be asking for too damn much. Don’t be so selfish.
The world passed by in a flash, you notice he doesn’t stop at each bus stop if no one is there or if no one rings the bell. So sneaking off when you arrive isn’t an option.
You sweat with the nerves that you’ll fuck it all up and everyone will be mad and inconvenienced and kick you out… not entirely certain the etiquette for this kind of thing.
Then someone else, an angel maybe? Stood. Rang the bell, slowing the bus to your exact stop. You didn’t have to learn anything new by failing.
Easton rose up before you, the silence on the bus rang with each step as the two of you exited the bus.
“We’re getting off here.” You whispered softly as you passed by the driver.
“Alright. You kids be safe, now. Remember, those bust passes work all day today.”
“Thank you again.” You smiled up at him from the sidewalk through watery eyes.
He just nodded and closed the bus doors.
Without a second glance, you and your brother followed the directions through the winding roads to his new place.
“That fucking BASTARD!” Roy jolted you out of your flashback with his outburst. He looked red in the face and desperate for blood.
“Like, what could you have DONE that could push him to lashing out like that?!”
You shrugged, glancing to your bedroom where Easton laid to sleep, overconsumed by the end of the trip.
“I want to say that he did do something. That he was rude, moody, over controlling, over demanding. That he had been selfish and unkind.” You glanced back at Roy with a defeated shake of your head. “But, no. Easton was his usual self. If anything, he was kinder because he didn’t have the money to spend on the trip. Since it was all going to his new place.”
You rubbed your forehead, your mind automatically trying to find the fault, the crack in the cement that allowed this tree of anger and hate to take root.
“Fuck… at least you found your way home again.” Roy let out a heavy breath, thinking that was the last of it.
You gave him a long, defeated, sad look that told him there was more.
His shoulders slumped. “Well shit.”
Then gestured for you to continue, defeated.
Koda ended up walking you and your brother the last couple blocks till the apartment complex. He’d already gotten his room set up and had been living on his own for a week before Easton was supposed to move in.
The three of you wandered around for a moment, the day seeming less daunting now. Easton took the time to recount the previous hour and a half to his roommate.
“Why?” He had questioned. You and your brother shrugged with absolutely no good solid answer.
Eventually you all ended up in one of the only fully furnished rooms at their new place— Kodas bedroom. (After some tasteful picture taking of certain winter sceneries and rare blooms with a Polaroid. Keeping the mood and tone as light as possible.)
You joked and laughed with each other, then pulled up your ‘be the bigger person’ pantaloons. Heaved a determined breath. Looked your comrades in the eyes. And decided to reach out to Dalton.
Try to, in fact, rescue this poor sad attempt at a birthday celebration. It was only a couple hours until the reservations anyway.
Maybe it’ll all be okay.
Maybe he’s just as torn up about it.
You sent the first text. Taking the false amount of courage from your determined resolve. Siphoned from the fact that the three of you had been best friends for years at this point.
He will want to work this out too.
You: hey, can we talk?
Dalton: I guess.
You take this as a good sign and relay it to the others. Trying to predict the outcome of conversation. Beginning obviously, with him apologizing.
“I mean, it’s not like he’s just going to leave us here. He’s still gotta take me back home to Gotham.”
You laughed at the thought at the time. The idea being so ridiculous it almost comforted you.
You: Great! We’re at Easton n Kodas new place btw.
* read *
A game plan was made, war council had been held, a MISSION, now in motion.
“If he doesn’t apologize. It’s done.” Your brother stood fast and held his ground against any foreseeable argument against his opinion.
“Oh yeah, no.” You agreed. Hoping—willing that not to be the case.
“Even then… he’s probably not going to be a good buddy either.”
“See if I ever talk to him again when he leaves.”
Time passed, going over the idea of conversation to try and understand his motives and ailings. Eventually, the phone lit up with a notification from him.
Dalton: I’m outside.
You: be right out!
A deep breath, you looked to your brother for strength. He gave you the same reserved calculating and cold expression back.
‘It’ll be fine,’ you attempted to reassure yourself, trying to will it into existence with positive thinking.
‘He’s probably just as torn.’
You and Easton slid into the back seats. Not wanting to tilt the power dynamic by surrounding him with one of you next to him in the front.
The doors closed and he started to drive.
“What are you doing?” You panicked, thinking the intention to talk in the privacy of a parked car was clear to everyone.
“What? You said you wanted to talk.”
“I just think it’s best for everyone if we just stay right here in case it doesn’t go well.”
“So you assume this won't end well.”
“Well, no. But, we shouldn’t be trapped in a moving vehicle where we don’t have control.” You reasoned, Eastons expression grew more angered by the second. Obviously clamping his mouth shut for the hope of keeping things reasonable.
Dalton huffed and threw the car into park.
“Fine! You wanted to talk. So talk.” He glared into the rear view mirror.
The next minute is a heated and frustrated yelling match between Dalton and Easton.
You were more preoccupied with trying to find the right thing to say to even catch a single insult thrown.
Snippets here and there thrown around of Dalton mocking Easton, making it clear to you he hadn’t felt the slightest bit guilty about earlier.
“Oh poor baby Easton, Can’t handle a few mean words. Wah Wah Wah.”
Easton snapped back.
“I’M the baby? All you do is bitch and moan. ‘ Oh poor me. Life sucks. Wah.’ Get the fuck over yourself.”
“Guy-“
“Maybe I’ll just go home by myself. You can find your own way back.”
Your heart dropped. He didn’t mean that.. right? Leaving you here with no way back to Gotham?
“Oh FUCK YOU! Fucking PUSSY FACED COWARD!” Easton screamed while you sat stunned into silence, trying desperately to remedy this in some way.
Your brother threw open the door to get it. Yanking open the back and ripping the items that were still packed away. Occasionally trying to get a screaming insult or two out at Dalton.
You grabbed your stuff from the back. Wanting to make one final attempt to smooth things over
‘ He didn’t mean it…’
You grabbed his attention when you slid into the front passenger seat.
Silence lasted for one whole second.
“What’s going on? You’re not actually going to leave us.”
“Maybe I should. Eastons been a fucking selfish asshole this whole trip. You all knew how much I wanted to come to Metropolis since I was 12. And frankly, I’m done with this shit. I don’t have to put up with any of it. And honestly, the relationship you two have has always weirded me out.
It’s just wrong. You’re not his parent, we are not his parents. He needs to grow up and live in the real world with the rest of us.”
You followed along, angry, scared, tired, upset. Your eyes flickered around. To the windshield, the door, the floor. You made sure you had everything that belonged to you. Then you glanced out the side mirror, to the growing pile of stuff Easton has been collecting.
Tipped over, slowly spilling out of the box and onto the cement, was Eastons ice cream birthday cake. A roll of rage barreled into your shoulders as angry tears sprang to the back of your eyes like spears of outraged Spartans.
“You didn’t put Easton’s cake away?” You asked although the answer was obvious as it continued to spread across the ground while your throat constricted with the unfairness of it all.
“No. Why should I? As much as you ALL like to claim. I am. Not. YOUR. DAD.”
“You were still our friend!” Your voice rose.
“So, I’m not anymore? Is that it?”
“You’re certainly not acting like a very good one.”
He scoffed as though he was in the right.
“Like you’re any better when here you are; yelling at me.”
“Well, you’re not listening!”
You slumped into the seat and already decided the consequences.
Without another word, you grabbed your stuff.
Opening the glovebox, the center console. Grabbing anything you left in the door.
Then, without a second more of hesitation, you exit the car.
“So, that’s it then.” Daltons voice got cold. You went colder.
“I guess so.”
You walked up to your brother, the cavernous weight of the decision feeling heavier and heavier with each step. Feeling no other choice, you didn’t spare another glance.
It’s over.
You heard the car wheel squeal as Dalton sped off.
Roy looked at you with the rawest form of sympathy and anger, it rattled your chest and knocked away the mental notion you might have been overreacting.
He opened his mouth to speak, but you continued your story. Knowing if you didn’t, you’d get caught up in the emotions of it all once again.
And it wasn’t. over. yet.
Sobbing. Crying. Panicking.
You sat on Kodas bed, researching any and all ways to return to Gotham. Looking for the cheapest available option.
Your brother sat and called everybody. Dad, your oldest sister, Darcy, your aunt, your cousins, your older brother even.
You hadn’t yet broken down. Not quite feeling hopeless and lost. A piece of you still believing it’ll all be okay.
You called Jason twice, no answer. You called Roy. No answer. You called Judy, no good news. She was still back home with her family.
Work started back up again in three days. She had a plane ticket back the night before.
The cheapest answer you were given:
“Suck it up. Make amends with Dalton just to get home.”
Kodas father gave you, him and Easton a ride back to the hotel.
Your last few dollars were spent buying a replacement cheap small grocery store cake for Eastons birthday celebration.
He blew out the candles in the rented room. Where the door wouldn’t close all the way, the light in the corner always flickered. The neighbors made way too much noise. The television didn’t work, the beds were scratchy and uncomfortable…
And Easton turned 21 years old.
…
Just as you got ready for the night, PJ’s on, cake put away, scrolling on your phone in the dark for an hour before passing out…
You received a text message.
Dalton: A lot happened today. And I wanted to apologize for saying I’d leave without you. I didn’t mean it. It was just the anger talking. I talked it out with my mom and well.. I’m leaving in the morning if you still want a ride.
“And like an IDIOT , I accepted.” You fell back into the couch, defeated. Your shoulders were heavy with possibilities of what could have saved you HOURS of anguish. Had you just said ‘no’ Instead.
“Wh-“ Roy started, you interrupted with the beginning of the end of your trip.
Dalton showed up at 11:00 am. Which would be too late if the rental needed to be back within the next 24 hours.
Then he was the first to drive.
Easton refused to let you ride with Dalton alone. He was adamant about going with and just staying at your apartment for a few days before you’ll give him a ride back in your own car. After you get it back from your abnormally radio silent roommate.
Several hours passed before anyone realized Dalton was going the wrong way.
“Oops.” Was his only defense before you took over. Your GPS was now locked into your apartment instead of his.
6 hours. It would take 6 hours to get back to Gotham. To the safety of your own home. Because of him.
Within your first 45 minutes driving, it started to snow. Not an issue of course, you’ve driven in snow before.
Then it came down even harder and faster, the roads became windy and kept twisting and turning. Threatening to blow the vehicle into the ditch.
But, you kept driving. Determined to make it to safety.
Determined to stay in control.
Keeping on the roads in the storm took all your strength and concentration.
You couldn’t keep full speed in this mess, it was as though the sky and storm itself was determined to keep you from going home. Lengthening the time of the trip from 6 hours, to 6 hours and 30 minutes. Then 45 minutes. Then 7 hours. Everytime you checked the distance, you were further away from your home. Like the winds were keeping you away.
You were stubborn and determined, so you continued…
You kept the car in the streets the entire time, images of others that have tried what you’re doing and failed laid tipped over in the ditches on either side of you like a warning of what could happen at any moment.
It took four hours of driving barely above 40 MPH. Keeping in between the lines and out of the ditch by a hair . Four hours of tensely holding the wheel and lightly tapping the gas pedal every couple minutes to maintain speed.
Four hours of a silent car, Easton in passenger next to you on his tablet with headphones.
Dalton on his phone then asleep, in the back.
Four hours, then the storm let up. The snow was deep. Several feet’s worth, at least.
The roads were barely maintenanced by snow plows. As though they could hardly keep up.
Your first mistake was relaxing, assuming the worst was over, and there were only 3 hours left now before you’re home.
The second mistake was turning left onto an unplowed street. The way paved into it by previous drivers.
Then, the tire hit a spot of black ice hidden under the snow..
The steering wheel jerked out of control. The vehicle slid against your will, not following direction. Sounds of crunching snow and squealing distress from outside declaring the disaster to come.
Finally, everything stopped.
And your careful peace was gone.
“I remember everything he said.” You told Roy.
“Are you fucking stupid?”
“Should have known better than to think you could DRIVE in the snow!”
“Pathetic.”
“Get out of the driver's seat. You can’t do anything right.”
“Useless.”
“What did he say?” Roy asked after you hadn’t spoken for a moment.
You held the silence in the air, trying to put together the sequence of events.
“First we tried to push it out of the snow. No luck of course.”
“Get out of the drivers seat-“
“ Then he took over the drivers seat.”
“- can’t do anything right-“
“I moved to the back with Easton.”
“ -should have known-“
“He yelled at me for a while.”
“ Pathetic-“
“Wow, way to go..”
“-an’t believe I let you driv-“
“Do you even KNOW how to drive correctly?!”
“Obviously not.”
“Just stuff trying to get a rise out of me. Things like that I ‘can’t drive’ or that I’m ‘useless’. Y'know, stuff like that.”
“SHUT UP!” Easton screamed, not letting this asshole attack you with baseless words anymore. “You don’t get to talk to them like that!”
“I can do what. I. Want. You two didn’t even get out of the car to help me push! Ungrateful.”
“I got out! My pants are wet!” You defended yourself for the first time, strengthened by your brother taking your side.
“Oh boo hoo. Poor me. My pants are wet. Wah. Wah.” He childishly mocked.
“Shut up!”
“Wah. Wah. Wah. Cry about it cry baby.”
“Just shut up.” You and Easton gave each other a look now like ‘is this guy 4 years old?’ Both tired of a GROWN MAN throwing a little bitch fit.
“Fuck you. Tell me to shut up again.” He threatened.
“Stop it.” You yelled, your friendship flashes— your THREE YEARS of friendship. THREE YEARS of late night walks. Surprise parties, weekend trips, beach parties, driving around, blaring music and singing off tune. THREE YEARS of writing stories, buying each other presents, playing games together, watching movies and nostalgia chasing.
Of LAUGHING, CRYING, SMILING together.
Of promises for the future.
Of moving lives forever.
Of SUPPORT and KINDNESS.
Years of being by each other's side. Of facing the biggest battles arm in arm, and acknowledging the little ones.
Sharing hopes and dreams.
Sharing the WEIGHT of life’s problems.
This isn’t a light casual friendship, this was someone you THOUGHT was ride or die. A person you were certain would ALWAYS be by your side.
You were silent, the air grew thin and cold in the apartment, you felt the lights dim with the outrage of betrayal.
You hardly acknowledged Roy’s presence.
Your eyes were glassy with reminiscence.
“He stepped out to call a tow truck. Wouldn’t listen when I said to contact the car rental company to see if the coverage he paid for that he whined about at the beginning of the trip. See if that fucking insurance, the $700 safety net. Would cover a tow. But, no.”
“-his is your fault, you’re paying the $500 tow.”
You looked at the money you lied to him about having in your account.
“I literally don’t even have $20.” You mentioned coldly. Determined to make sure he doesn’t get a single thing from you ever again.
“Just ask your dad for the money. You do it all the time anyway.”
“For like $30! Not $500!”
He thought that your dad, who took care of 5 kids on a minimum wage salary. With a disabled wife. Lives in a run down, falling apart, rickety piece of shit house. Can afford to just loan his kids $500.
“whatever. Once the car is out, I’m dropping you both and all your shit off at the nearest bus stop. And you can consider this friendship over .”
“ Our friendship was already over- “
“-the second you tried to leave us!”
“-the minute you abandoned us in a parking lot.” You and Eastons voices rang out, both of you wanting to make him hurt just as much.
“Oh really. You just decided that, huh? Wow.”
“He tried to kick us out at that point. Tried to get all high and mighty.” You rolled your eyes, becoming numb and void of feeling.
“Easton said ‘fuck no!’ And basically that if Dalton wanted us out of the car. He’d have to make us .” You huffed the faintest bit of amusement at the memory of your brothers bravery.
Easton was 150 lbs when soaking wet, arms like noodles and strength of a frail bird.
Dalton had twice the weight and twice the height.
“The coward just got out to call his Mommy.” You mocked.
You gulped down a large amount of saliva, memories sharp with details of the largest panic attack of your life.
couldn’t get enough air.
left in another state.
no money.
no one to call.
nobody around for miles.
alone. left behind.
no way home.
trapped.
alone.
you’ll lose everything.
left behind.
hours away.
nothing you can do.
nobody to help.
“ how do we get home??” you rasped as your brother attempted to calm you, to help and stabilize you.
“no money, Easton. not enough for a bus across a couple states!”
“We’ll call dad… or mom!”
You whimpered as tears fell, a shudder tore through you while your airways constricted.
“they’re hours away.. the car wouldn’t make it out here. where would we stay? who would take us in? we can’t stay outside in this weather. what if we lose our stuff? why would he do this? I don’t understand.”
Your words could barely reach above a whisper out of your throat. You folded in half to clutch your head to your knees.
“It’s going to be okay. We will figure it out.”
“After Dalton got back he said something about his mom telling him to bring us back home. But, he's driving the rest of the way. Since we couldn’t handle it or something.” You rolled your eyes, taking in a heavy and shaken breath.
The only thing that snapped you out of your panic back then was the determined though to never let your guard down around Dalton again. He will not see you weak.
Spite is a powerful force.
“Rest of the drive was quiet I guess. Nobody spoke.” You let out a cold chuckle. “Everytime we stopped for gas or a bathroom break, we thought ‘this is it. This time he won’t be there when we get back to the parking lot.’ Then we made it here! Easton and I got as much stuff in our arms as possible. Went to put it down, and when we got back to the garage—“
…
“—he just left… I don’t even know if I have everything.” Your head fell forward, cradled by your palms. You let out a heavy sigh as the tornado of thoughts ripped through your mind.
Why?
How could he?
Why?!
Were there signs??
Could I have done something?
How COULD he?
My best friend.
never again.
Why?
Why?
WHY?????
hope he suffers.
Snippets of the trip ran through your mind in a rapid fire succession.
driving off the lot with the rental car.
complaints about money.
him arguing with you about money.
babysitting his emotions.
…yelling..
…screaming…
…insults…
Eastons birthday.
his FUCKING birthday!
driving to gotham.
the snow
the yelling
you froze up…
You try to rub your hands in an attempt to comfort yourself at the memory of your panic attack.
You jolted sharply out of your thoughts at the pressure of a comforting touch at your back.
Roy slowly rubbed circles to your upper back. Lending an unconditional amount of support to you. Your throat choked up. You gave him a smile and wished, like a whisper in your mind, to be held.
Without saying a word, he opened his arms for a hug and you fell right into his orbit. Crashing into his chest with the force of an asteroid to Earth.
You wished for the pain to stop. For the ache of betrayal to leave your chest.
You wanted to blink and be done with the hurt Dalton left.
“You’re okay.” He whispered into the air. The promise was like dust sprinkling across your shoulders. “ You’re okay.”
His hands rubbed at your back and the two of you swayed in tandem.
In real time, you could feel the ache of loss leave your chest ever so slightly:
You’ll carry the memory of Dalton with you.
You’ll probably trust someone else again, maybe too quickly. Not really learning any kind of lesson.
You’ll probably get hurt again. Maybe just as bad or even worse than this.
With a deep, slow, and rickety breath. You repeated Roy.
“I’m okay.”
You’re not alone.
You will be okay.