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When Tommy first played in MCC 4, he never really read into the ways the other three treated him.
Yeah, they talked over him, told him to shut up multiple times in a row, didn't give him much credit for the shit he did, and ignored him every time he tried to put in advice- but they were joking. It was a joke. Tommy should take it- as a joke.
He's not so sure if he can do that.
Fifteen-year-old Tommy should know better than to take it to heart. They are his friends, and it's not like he met them the day of MCC- they had the EarthSMP, Tommy has talked to them way before MCC.
But- if Tommy's being honest, he doesn't really care what happened in MCC 4.
Maybe that's his gut talking, telling him he shouldn't care. Tommy doesn't even fucking know anymore. Maybe he cares. Maybe he doesn’t.
It was forever ago, all the way back in April 2020; Tommy had barely a thousand viewers per stream, Wilbur sat at 50K subs, Techno and Phil leading in the viewer count. Tommy was scared out of his mind to meet the three of them, palms sweaty and heart thumping as his mouse hovered over the VC.
He’s seen the comments on his vod video. Tommy doesn't blame all of his fans for thinking it- Tommy sees it very blatantly as he rewatches it, expression albeit fond.
This is just “Wilbur Soot cyber bullies TommyInnit for three hours,” and “God, I feel so bad for Tommy- he was ignored the entire time.”
Tommy thinks it's a bit bullshit, anyways. He and Wilbur are in a good place now, thank you very fucking much.
He does focus on the comments that compliment how far he's come, but it's a scarce supply when all everyone is doing is expressing sympathy for Tommy due to the actions of his friends.
Tommy can't lie. He personally shrinks in his seat and his expression crumples as he hears his fifteen-year-old self, eyes wide and bottom lip wobbly as he asks, “ Am I muted?”
It's torture. Pure fucking torture.
He's explained to all his friends later on that he hates being ignored on stream. He'd rather a soft tone, calming one of; Calm down, or a text shot to him during a VC to please tone the volume. He’d rather all of that over being muted. The thing was that he wasn't even muted. They just all went silent as he asked it and played it off as him being muted and went along with the game.
The entirety of the vod from there point on is just Young-Tommy being talked over, ignored, and shushed for the rest of the games. Tommy looks down sadly, gazing at his clasped hands, laying limply in his lap.
He's lucky Phil, Wilbur, and Techno ended up being with him a lot more. He gained a whole friend group out of it and brought him to where he is now- despite the abundant amount of hate he receives. Wilbur’s his big brother whose expressed the idea that, You can come to me whenever, Tommy, I’m always here. Techno’s fond groans and sighs of ‘annoyance’ as Tommy purposely climbs onto his nerves and doesn't let go. Phil being his go-to adult whenever something happens regarding his parents, or anything involving a parent, to be honest.
He doesn’t remember MCC 4 being this bad. Maybe he does care. He’s not sure if he wants to care, wants to worry over something so stupid, something so trivial- they’re better now. Tommy has no reason to be insecure and worried over his friends' thoughts towards him when he’s been reassured so many damn times. The others don’t deserve this. Tommy- Tommy doesn’t deserve this. He’d being stupid. He is.
Okay, but Wilbur was being a little bit pissy that day. Just a little. That’s what Tommy can pick up from rewatching the vod. Wilbur was definitely a little pissed before starting. Not all of it is Tommy’s fault for making the environment so awkward. The muted bit was definitely their fault, not Tommy’s.
He prays no one joins his call. He’d be mortified if they found out he had gotten his feelings hurt over something so fuckin’ trivial.
Tommy ends up rewatching his MCC 5 vod, just to make sure it gets better- and it does- as the whole vod is just Tommy constantly missing his friends.
“ I miss my friends,” Tommy whispers, eyes warm as he gazes at his friends across the Decision Dome. “Look at them- I miss them.”
No one hears him.
He grins so hard it splits his face when Wilbur, Techno, and Phil come up and crouch in front of him. They click at him, but then spin around and begin tea-bagging Tommy. Tommy doesn't laugh. He doesn’t.
“Oh man- I- Vikk- I really missed you guys,” he ends with, his voice practically a whine. “Seriously.”
Wilbur and Phil coo into their mics, Techno just prying for answers on what happened during Tommy’s stream.
He eventually switches perspectives, swapping from Wil and Phil to watch their eyes gleam fondly as Tommy whispers about how he wishes they were there. It makes him warm inside, smushing down a small smile, a proud, ordinary joy.
While watching Techno’s point of view, he hears Techno say, “ Oh, I really hope Tommy isn’t getting cyberbullied over there.”
Tommy’s shoulders slump. He’s not stupid. He remembers seeing his chat fly by, picking out some comments whispering that Tommy's cringe, not funny, and that he should stay away from creators like Techno or Vikk. But he gets that now, too, except the difference is Young-Tommy is more susceptible to hate. He’s not as good at keeping it away from his head, and seeing those words go by always damaged his confidence.
Techno wouldn't say something like that today, mainly because no one has the balls to do it. Commenting on Tommy negatively nowadays gets you yelled at by practically the entire community. No one Tommy’s teamed with would make fun of him, number one because it’s wrong, and two is no one in MCC these days are that shit. If anyone’s gonna make fun of Tommy, it’s gonna be Techno, Wilbur, or Phil, and if anyone else does it they get their heads cut off.
He knows for a fact all three of them would be concerned if he told them about this, and Tommy debates keeping it locked within his head, but again it's- not a big deal, what the fuck. Tommy’s acting like this shit matters, when it doesn’t, not one bit.
—
On a stream with Wilbur, both of them live, he gets a dono saying something that- that really grates on his nerves. It probably wasn't intended for that, especially since it's not like the viewers knew that Tommy’s been having inner turmoil about whether or not he confront the three of them about MCC 4.
It should be a fond memory, the first time the four of them worked together, the first time they played together truly like they did, and certainly not their last.
Tommy glances to the side- and for some stupid fucking reason his TTS is on, and usually it's off, but today has decided it wanted to fuck him over.
The blonde reads the message before it even ends speaking, the dono saying; tommy do you remember mcc 4? everyone ignored you the entire time lmfaooo.
Oh, fuck. Tommy glances at chat, and they go from laughing and sending emoticons to saying NOOOOOO and spamming :( and-
Whoever wrote that is insane, and needs their damn eyes checked because- can they not clearly see that he and the others are fine?
Chat is definitely pointing out Tommy looks irritated at the dono, and it catches the attention of Wilbur, who definitely saw it fly by in his own chat.
“Tommy,” Wilbur questions hesitantly, breaching the line in the sand that seems to have been set, unsure due to the fact they're both live. His voice is coated with his online persona, a little bit to divert the chat’s attention away from Tommy’s state of mind, a little for his own sanity. “What'd the dono say? Chat’s telling me you're upset.”
“It’s nothin,’” Tommy sniffs, and he glances at Wilbur’s stream that he has open in an extra Chrome tab on a computer chat can’t see. He watches the man's expression sour at Tommy’s tone.
Wilbur clicks his tongue, and begins to ramble on something else to drag chat away from the topic of the dono. Tommy gets the hint that chat doesn’t, reading in between the lines, We’re talking about that later.
The rest of stream goes by smoothly, mainly since the both of them don’t want to concern chat, but Tommy’s 99.9% sure Twitter’s not gonna like this one. His feed will be full of people being concerned for Tommy, shoving MCC 4 into his face-
“Tommy!” Tommy jolts, swallowing, and Wilbur’s voice pokes at him. “Jesus, man, c’mon.”
“Sorry, bitch,” He glances at his coin on the dresser in the corner of his office.
He can tell Wilbur’s about to interrogate him, but it goes even worse than what Tommy expected. “I’m being told they mentioned MCC 4 to you- in the dono.”
Wilbur stares at him, eyes prodding. Tommy fiddles with his thumbs. “Tommy?”
The blonde doesn't answer. He stares at his hands and prays he disappears.
He doesn’t.
He can't believe this shit is happening to him. Of all damn people he had to end up becoming best friends with, of all times TTS had to be on- luck isn't in his favor. It's embarrassing he's even upset, and he's mortified that Wilbur's going to figure out. Oh, boohoo, Tommy’s little feelings are hurt because he got teased when he was fifteen for being an annoying little prick. Tough shit.
Tommy doesn't wanna answer Wilbur, he wants to leave the call and curl under his blankets and fall asleep and never wake up. He doesn’t want to see the disappointed and irritated gleam in cold brown eyes when Wilbur realizes what he's being pissy about. His bottom lip begins to wobble before he realizes it, and tears are pricking in his eyes, little droplets threatening to fall. Barely noticeable, still there.
His heart aches. He wants a hug. He wants his friends to tell him it's okay, he wants them to tell him that it's alright he feels like shit. Tommy wants to be told that he's allowed to be upset he was treated like shit.
The call is quiet. Wilbur’s voice has died down, completely hushed, and Tommy lurches. His cheeks feel wet; his reflection in his computer screen displays his swollen, crimson cheeks. Tommy throws a hand over his hands, gritting his teeth, and- he wants to leave the call. He wants Wilbur to forget this ever fucking happened.
But it's Wilbur. He knows the man wants to help him, and he can feel the absolute sheer uselessness Wilbur radiates through the screen.
There's knocking and shuffling on Wilbur’s end, and the brunette gasps, “Oh, Tommy, darling, don’t cry- why are you crying?” Voice soft, low, he hums, pupils dilated. “It's alright, I’m here.”
“Here we go- in for four, out for four, can you do that for me?” Tommy pathetically attempts to follow Wilbur’s instructions, “Yes, that's perfect, you're doing great- again, in for four, out for four.”
He repeats the process multiple times over, just the two of them in the call, their surroundings quiet and still. Wilbur doesn't complain if Tommy’s screws up the exercises, just pushing him forward to continue forcing his diaphragm to fucking- work. Once Tommy’s lungs have restarted, rebooted, and are working, the call is dead silent.
“Darling,” Wilbur murmurs. “what was- what was that?”
Tommy begins to shake his head, but Wilbur manages a half-hearted scowl, practically a glare. “Tommy, you couldn't breathe for five minutes because you got so scared. That’s not nothing, that's not something I can just let go of.”
He can't tell him. He can't tell him.
And he does anyways.
“The dono,” he says, lowly, sadly, “remember what the dono said?”
“It mentioned MCC 4,” Wilbur says, eyes narrowed in concentration, picking it apart like it’s a murder mystery. “It said- it said we - me, Tech, and Phil - ignored you.”
“I rewatched the vod, and I realized everything.” Wilbur’s face begins to go slack-jawed, his eyes beginning to realize the truth. All they do is scrunch helplessly. “You guys- uh- you definitely wouldn't treat me the way you did now- but it happened.” Tommy’s voice cracks. “It happened, and it shouldn't of— you guys really should've known better— but I shouldn't be so upset about this because it happened forever ago and it pisses me off you found out about it because you weren't fucking supposed to and I-”
He shuts his mouth. “The point is, I’m upset I was treated the way I was, and it won't leave my head. I’m also upset I'm angry about it, because I shouldn't, but I can't fucking help it.”
His eyes are so blurred with tears he can't even see his computer screen. “I’m acting like a child. It's embarrassing.”
Wilbur's voice fills his head, soft and soothing. Concerned, understanding. Mildly horrified. “You're not acting like a child. You're not being embarrassing- Tommy look at me,” Tommy looks up, gasping as he notices Wilbur is close to tears himself, “It was wrong of us. I apologize on the behalf of the three of us- we were so fucking shitty to you, and I’m sorry. I’ll make sure they apologize to you as well. It’s completely understandable you're upset at us, and hurt- God, I wish I could hug you.”
Wilbur sniffles, brown eyes shining. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry we did it. We shouldn't have done any of it, and I’m glad you've told us what you do and don't like us doing to you. I feel awful about muting you, especially after you told me you don't like being muted- dear God, what was I thinking.”
And Tommy sobs, because this is what he wanted to hear. He’s waited for this for months, weeks- waited for Wilbur or Phil or Techno to tell him they're sorry for what they did. Now that the apology has been handed to him on a silver platter, Tommy’s completely clueless.
So he cries. Because that's the only thing he thinks he knows how to do at this exact moment. His head is clouded with grief and his heart is so full and he cries. Tears roll down his cheeks and plop against his desk, hiding his face in the crook of his elbow, borderline wailing. Wilbur voices his distress, seeming to mentally waves his hands around and pray that Tommy calms down.
“Thank you,” Hands shaking with something profound, he trembles in his seat, mouth pulling into a meek, small grin. “ Thank you. ”
*-*-*
Phil’s hugs are always the nicest.
Wilbur’s are always warm- soothing, a hand fluidly carding through his golden tufts, his head pressed against his chest. Tubbo’s are short, yet strong, almost like a hand gripping his own. Ranboo’s are lovely, and the teen has to practically scoop Tommy off the ground to hold him close, and Tommy cherishes the hugs he shares with him. Jack’s, Niki’s, and Fundy's are all relatively similar, where Niki pecks a kiss to his cheek, Jack ruffles his hair, and Fundy pats him in a grounding manner on the back.
But Phil’s? Epitome of Dad Hugs Incorporated.
The next time they meet up, Wilbur’s already told both Techno and Phil about the incident with MCC 4, and they both apologize profusely. Techno had pulled him into a call within seconds of ending one with Wilbur.
“I’m proud of you.” Voice unnaturally soft, pulling at Tommy’s frayed edges, “I’m sorry for doing what I did that day.” Tommy can imagine his shoulders setting, his eyes easing. He laughs nervously. “M’ not good at this stuff, I’m sorry.”
“Tech, I already forgave you,” Tommy frowns at his camera, and he tugs at the hem of his pullover. It’s a pastel green one Wilbur bought him a few weeks ago. “I don’t blame you, I was annoying that day-”
Techno makes a noise of muted affliction. “Tommy, Toms-”
The younger one in the call quiets, his voice dying down. “Sorry, Big T.”
“You weren’t annoying,” Techno affirms confidently, yet gentle. “You were young. You’re still young, but during MCC 4 you were practically a baby. Me and Wilbur- Phil, even, all three of us should’ve given you so much more credit.
“I wasn’t that young,” Tommy whispers.
The older laughs, voice strained with emotion. “Just came out of the womb, yeah?”
Tommy giggles. “Shut the fuck up.”
And now here Tommy is. In Phil’s hold in Wilbur’s flat.
One of Phil’s hands is ghosting up and down his back, his neck stretched so his chin can rest on Tommy’s head. Tommy himself is seated to his right, but Phil has tugged him to the left, his head lying boneless on his shoulder. The taller blonde stays dead silent, taking in all the comfort Phil will give to him. Wilbur is seated on the left of Tommy, his knees pulled to his chest, clad in a black turtleneck and white sweatpants. They converse quietly over Tommy’s head, who pretends he doesn’t hear.
“And I didn’t even know,” Wilbur marvels, his hand messing with one stray curl that flutters in his direction. “I didn’t….I-”
“You couldn’t have known,” Phil sighs, scratching his kid’s scalp in soothing ministrations. “He didn’t even tell anyone, Wil.” He exaggerates a pointed expression at the kid lying limply on him, who shrinks down further into his chest to hide.
Phil hums, continuing to talk of Tommy as if he isn't right in front of them, listening in, “I don’t even blame him. He was obviously insecure that one of us would tell him off for being upset in the first place.”
“But we would never do that!” Wilbur protests, expression pained. “I- you, Tech, we would never tell Tommy his feelings are invalid for just acting like a normal fucking person!”
“Look at it from Tommy’s perspective, mate. He’s seventeen, he’s best friends with his idols, and all of sudden he’s reminded of the time those same fuckin’ friends borderline bullied him in front of thousands of people. What would you do? No one’s going to think, ‘ Oh, I can totally just go tell them my feelings are hurt, that’s a great idea! ’” Phil’s blue eyes dim. “Bottom line is, Tommy, mate, you need to work on your fuckin’ communication skills. I’m just fuckin’ happy you told us before you spiraled into an anxious ball of nerves.”
“He was close to it, ” Wilbur grumbles, before his expression smoothes out, eyes alight with pride. “I’m proud of him for telling me, either way. He’s our boy, and if Tommy thought we didn’t want him, I wouldn’t be having that.”
The oldest in the room smiles fondly, “He is, isn’t he?”
Tommy muffles a smile against Phil’s hoodie, but he’s pretty sure the both of them know anyway.