Chapter Text
The scene was all-too-familiar. Someone (in this case Bev) floating in the air with eyes rolled to the back of their head and lips slightly parted. Richie remembered the time when that person was him, he remembered it all too well. The things that he saw in the deadlights weren’t something he’d ever wished someone else could see, and now, unfortunately, Bev was likely seeing very similar things.
“We gotta help her! Eddie, you said we needed to slap her to get her out, right?!” Will exclaimed as he ran over to where Bev was.
Eddie’s cheeks burned a rosy red color, he stared wide-eyed at Will, glancing at Richie subtly.
Ben and Mike H quickly started trying to get Bev down, Bill, Mike W, Steve, and El all kept Pennywise busy.
“The thing is.. that’s not exactly-“ Eddie rambled, but was interrupted by the groans coming from Ben and Mike H, who were pulling Bev to the ground.
When Bev was safely on the ground, they all stared at her unconscious form, Ben kneeled down next to her and brushed her messy curls behind her ear. “Eddie lied before, he didn’t slap Richie.”
“Why would Eddie lie?” Dustin frowned, “This could be life or death, so why lie?”
Ben took a deep breath and closed his eyes, leaning down until his lips reached Bev’s. It wasn’t a beautiful kiss by any means, it was sloppy and weird, seeing as Bev wasn’t even conscious, but it did the job.
“Oh,” Will mumbled as he glanced at Eddie, who was looking away silently.
Bev groaned as she sat up, seeing Ben’s retreating face, “January Embers.”
Ben smiled, “My heart burns there, too.”
“SHIT!”
The group looked over to see El collapse to the ground, her control over it had diminished. Mike W quickly ran to her side and held onto her, mumbling to her. Richie sighed and picked up his baseball bat and ran over to them, it turned its attention onto him.
“I know your secret…” it began to sing, it kept its clown form. It was going after Richie, it knew Richie was terrified of clowns. “Your dirty little secret…”
Richie backed away, his grip on the bat was loosening more and more, “Shut up…”
“Richie! You can face your fear, it can’t scare you!”
Richie looked at Bev, beautiful Beverly Marsh. Back when she first joined the Loser’s, she made him question if he was really fully gay. She was pretty, she still was, but for some reason, thirteen-year-old Richie Tozier couldn’t seem to figure himself out. Part of him hoped that he really was straight, that whatever it was that he was feeling towards Eddie was just a strong friendship; but he couldn’t lie to himself, no matter how hard he tried.
Richie took a deep breath and dropped his bat to his side, it dragged across the grimy floor as he slowly stepped closer and closer to the clown.
“You know my secret? Huh? You think you’re so strong, but you’re not. You see, you may know my secret, but I also know yours.”
Pennywise cackled, “is that so?!”
Richie looked back at his friends, who all stood behind him with concerned gazes, he gave them a silent message, one they all seemed to understand.
Follow my lead.
“You’re just a fucking Clown, why should I be scared of something so weak?!” Richie hissed, he raised his baseball bat and slowly stepped closer and closer to it, it was backing away slightly. It was now frowning, anger clear on its face. “Yeah, I have a secret. I’m fucking gay! But that’s a part of me, but your secret is that you as a whole are a worthless creature that’s so lame that you eat kids!”
Richie couldn’t turn around, he couldn’t face them. His biggest secret, the one he tore himself up over for years, and now they knew. Thirteen people now knew, some of them were bound to hate him for it, and he wished he didn’t care as much as it seemed he didn’t.
“Go fuck yourself, Pennywise! Ronald McDonald has a better purpose than you!” Eddie walked up next to him and held his hand, holding onto it tightly.
“I AM THE EATER OF WORLDS!”
“You aren’t even scary! Why even take the form of a clown? You couldn’t even scare a kindergartner!” Bev now stood next to Richie, her hand gripping his other one. One by one, everyone walked up to them and held hands and spat insults at It, they all dropped their weapons, which didn’t seem to be needed anymore.”
It hissed and writhed in anger, its head shifting into every form they’d seen it turn into. It attempted attacking but it had no coordination and failed miserably.
“I’m the eater of worlds…”
“Just a Clown!”
“Useless!”
“Can’t even do your job right!”
“Ugly ass bitch!”
“Richie that’s barely even an insult to it!”
“Fine, you Look like Mrs. K!”
“You’re a failure of a demon!”
“You probably have a micropenis!”
“Richie what the fuck?!”
“You’re weak!”
“You aren’t scary!”
“You are worthless!”
“You’re a mouth breather.”
“Even Demogorgon’s are scarier than you!”
“A mimic!”
“An imposter!”
“An idiot sandwich!”
“You’re Just a fucking Clown!”
It backed into a corner and shriveled up into a tiny and ugly creature. It screamed and lashed out, but nothing it did was of any use. Its heart was beating loudly and quickly, Richie looked at everyone, who were all looking at him.
“We need to crush the heart,” Mike H spoke, breaking their silence. “Then it’ll die, forever.”
Ben nodded, “it’s the only way, it’ll permanently break the cycle.”
Richie nodded, kneeling down over its dying form, and stared it in the eyes. He really didn’t want to dig into its chest for its heart, but he had no other choice. He dug his fingernails into its chest, which was soft and easy to break. He pulled the beating heart from its small body and held it out in front of himself.
“This is fucking disgusting,” he mumbled. Eddie raised his arm and held onto the heart, and everyone followed. It was very cramped, but they all managed to do it.
“Look at you, You’re all growing up…”
They all clenched their hands and crushed the heart, the deadlights went out and it’s face rotted away. The heart itself turned to dust and shriveled away, they were left in silence.
/////
The day passed, they had safely made it out of the building and gathered up at the edge of the woods, they stood in smaller groups and had small conversations. Richie and Eddie sat alone in silence, staring at the cars that occasionally passed by.
“Why do you think that it’s a kiss that breaks people from the deadlights?” Richie asked, looking over at Eddie.
“Well,” Eddie spoke softly, “Maybe it’s because it can’t comprehend the idea of love.”
Richie sighed, “Maybe.”
“So what you said to it, is it true?”
“Yeah, I am what I said I was, always have been.”
Eddie reached over and grabbed Richie’s hand, “We all support you, Y’know? You’re our friend and that’ll never change.”
“What if I want it to?” Richie mumbled, and Eddie heard.
“What do you mean?”
“Nevermind,” Richie stood up and dusted off his shorts, “We should head back before you guys have to leave.” Richie extended his hand out.
Eddie nodded, allowing Richie to help him up, “Yeah, you’re right.”