Chapter Text
The Room of Requirement was decked out to the nines. Y/N squinted in the harsh fluorescent lights emitting from every corner of the airplane-hangar-sized room. Weed, weed, and more weed! MMMMM! She loves to smoke. Yes. Always be high and stuff. Endo. Devil’s lettuce. Ganja. Grass. Spoof. Endo again. This is some high quality shit. Y/N inhaled deeply for some reason.
“Neville, you got a fine establishment here,” she said slowly. Too slowly. “Am I high right now?”
“Yes. I have a humidifier in the corner that’s always making sure I am NEVER sober. Do you hear me? NEVER,” he answered with an inflection that implied he thought ‘never’ rhymed with ‘Neville.’
The MANdrake was at a loss for moans and was staring silently around the room, seemingly soaking up the faux-sunlight. Neville’s eyes hadn’t left the creature since Y/N had dragged him into the Room. He was a rabid gorilla to an innocent child fallen into his hands: ruthless.
“Yes, without any Ruths…” Neville said distractedly under his breath.
“What?” Y/N asked, snapping her head back around to look at him.
“Nothing,” he shook slightly, gaze never leaving the MANdrake. “Yes…so you wanted to know about him.”
The MANdrake looked to Neville, clearly understanding that he was now the topic of conversation. Y/N thought it was inspiring how quick he was picking up on things. Neville was a great herbologist. Not as good as her, but still.
“Indeed. I had to wrench him out of an enormous pot and Sprout didn’t ask nearly enough questions. She said it was yours though.”
“Yes, it was mine.” He crossed the room quickly and suddenly watered some dry-looking Weeds. Endo. “He started as a little experiment, but it went too well too fast and I got carried away, I suppose.” He downed a large amount of water and his teeth clacked against the glass, nearly blocking the flow. “Thank you for bringing him to me. I had to miss his birthday due to…complications,” he said mysteriously. Y/N was sure that would come up later.
“How come he can’t speak? He was moaning so loud I couldn’t hear anything in the hallways,” Y/N asked.
“Yes…the reason I grew him in the first place is personal but. I’m sure you, my dear friend, can put the pulsing dripping angry-red pieces together,” he explained with a sly grin.
“NEVILLE, YOU DOG!” Y/N laughed uproariously, eyeing the puddle growing at Neville’s feet. It only made her laugh harder. The MANdrake attempted to join in, but only leaked sap. It took several tens of minutes for them to catch their breath and quit their fits of giggles, but eventually Neville had his game face on again.
“Yes, I think it may be time for the MANdrake here to learn some life lessons. Perhaps I’ll see you tomorrow Y/N in Potions?” With a start, he ushered her from the Room, slamming the door in her face without letting her say another word.
Y/N trusted Neville with the MANdrake. He knew everything there was to know about plants, and would of course know when the creature was ripe. Now was not that time. He had to learn English first. And also Spanish. Without a glance back, she skipped down the halls, through Ron’s vigil, and right into her bed. Showers come second to sleep.
…
She’d only been asleep for half an hour when someone was shaking her awake.
“Y/N,” two identical voices said in her ears. “We’re like Mormons! We’re shaking you!”
“Well actually, George, the Mormons aren’t the ones doing the shaking.”
“You’re right Freddie, they’re the shake-ees!”
A crisp high five echoed throughout the dorm, waking all three of Y/N’s ugly dumb roommates. “Guys,” Y/N started groggily. “Must you?” She heard the distinct rustle of hair against skin as they apparently shook their heads. Her senses were unreal. Thank god.
She turned over to look at the two of them. Their eyes were stained red with tears for their late brother, but their smiles reached them anyway. They must be over it. “We’re over it Y/N,” they whispered together, as if they had read her mind. Tears fell onto her face. “We can’t seem to stop though.”
Before she could hold back, her tongue darted out to curl around a tear in midair. Damn virgin tears. Only Fred though. George’s tears were correct, pleasantly bitter and tinted yellow. Fred’s were the damn normal salty clear ones. “Thank god, you guys were starting to bother me with your sadness. Can y’all back up though? You’re like, waterboarding me.” The two immediately bounded back, chuckling at Y/N’s charm and wit.
She scooted herself back until she was sitting up against the headboard. Subconsciously noting the way the twins were perched like birds of prey on her adjacent roommates’ body (and staring at Y/N like them, too), she went ahead and asked. “Any reason you two have to wake me up at 2:30 in the morning?” she said with her signature crooked grin that had the same effect as a milkshake placed in a yard.
Fred and George hopped down with feather-light toes and leaned against a bedpost. “We’re thinking that you could bring Ron back,” Fred proposed. George continued, “We’re not done torturing him and weirdly he stayed tomato red? So he seems like he wants to come back or something.” The two nodded in sync, making pleading bloodshot eyes at Y/N. George’s yellow tears were what convinced her.
“Where are you keeping him?”