Archive of Our Own

Colt had a terrible week. As terrible of a week an eighteen year old could have.

First off, he failed his English exam. How, he didn't know, because he actually liked the book they were reading for the semester. He thought his teacher had it out for him for some reason. Then, he got into a fight with his best friend, Dan, because Dan was being a dick about getting Colt to do his algebra work. Usually, Colt didn't have a problem with doing it for him and having him copy his work so the teacher didn't suspect Colt, but in return, Dan would usually do his English work. Dan didn't want to do his English work, and as petty as it was, it pissed Colt off a lot more than he thought it would, so they had a little dispute.

It would be fixed within the week. They couldn't stay mad at each other for too long.

On Wednesday, the sole of his shoe popped out when walking home. Ryland didn't say anything, but Colt could see the concern on his face and it pissed Colt off even more. On Thursday, he slipped in the bathroom and knocked his head on the tile floor. It left a giant goose egg on the left side of his head.

Which led to Friday, where his body decided nope, we're not waking up to the alarm today, which subsequently led to him and Ryland waking up an hour late because Ryland only got up when Colt did. Courtland was already at work, an early bird, so thankfully the twins wouldn't be admonished yet. It was the final straw for Colt. He laid in bed, wishing the sheets would swallow him whole as Ryland bustled about frantically. He picked out clothes for Colt and threw them at him.

"Come on, get up, we're so late!" Ryland exclaimed as he picked through their closet.

Colt grumbled and turned so his back faced his brother. He didn't want Ryland to see the angry, frustrated tears that had flooded his eyes. He had done nothing but fuck up for the entire week which was manageable when he was fucking himself over, but now he was dragging Ryland down with him and that hurt a lot more than expected. Ryland was the golden one of the two of them. He was beloved by everyone. Could do no wrong. And Colt was making him late.

He was horrified to find a tear had soaked into his pillow. He hid his face in his comforter.

"Colt! Seriously, get up!"

Ryland shoved his shoulder.

"Just go without me," Colt said defeatedly.

"What? No, come on, you've got a quiz in algebra today. I'm not swapping with you on that one—"

"Just go, Ry! Go!"

His brother quieted at his outburst. Colt clutched the bedsheets tighter, biting the inside of his cheek in a meek attempt to stop the frustrated tears from falling. He failed. An embarrassed flush crawled up his neck and curled around his ears, especially when Ryland's erratic movements stopped and the mattress dipped by Colt's hip.

Ryland nudged his leg. "Hey. What's going on?"

"Nothing," he muttered stubbornly. He cringed when his voice came out raspy and pained.

"Colt."

"Really. Nothing's wrong, Ry."

Ryland's hand found his knee, squeezing. "Colt," he said softly. "Come on. Talk to me. Did something happen? I mean, I know you were sad about your shoes, but—"

He couldn't hold back a snicker. Ryland chuckled, gently pushing his leg like he used to when they were really little and he wanted Colt to ask Court for something. Colt sighed, knowing Ryland wouldn't let him go without knowing what was wrong. He reluctantly sat up to face his brother, whose frown deepened with worry.

"I'm just… this week's kicked my ass and I'm tired, Ry. I'm tired of life right now," Colt admitted. The heaviness in his chest weakened a bit. Ryland liked to yap a lot, about as much as Colt, but he was a great listener, too. He always felt better when talking to Ry about his problems because he'd listen and wouldn't try and fix it. He'd offer a bit of advice that sounded like it came from an old man.

"So it's not just about the shoes…" Ryland trailed off with a small, unsure smirk.

"Yeah. I had a fight with Dan, and the shoes, and the fucking—" Colt gestured to his bruised forehead "—thing! I can't catch a goddamn break, man. I'm so tired of it. Of school and work and shit. A-And I know I'm being selfish and stupid and there are much bigger problems in the world than my personal problems but this week just kicked me in the ass and I can't find it in myself to get back up."

Colt wiped at his eyes, wishing for his dignity's sake that he would stop crying. He sniffled, watching Ryland's eyes dart around. Thinking. Uh oh. That couldn't be good. Whenever Ryland got that look in his eye, he was planning something. It typically made an appearance when Colt brought up some mischievous idea and Ryland started planning the logistics of it.

Ryland squeezed his knee, eyes alight. He shot up and started bustling about again, grabbing clothes and things from his desk.

"Ry, what're you doing? Ry?" Colt tried.

His brother didn't answer. He kept moving about at high speeds, grabbing bags and stuffing the clothes into them. Colt's heart raced. What was he doing? Colt tossed his covers aside and stood up, stretching his arms over his head and grunting when he felt something pop. He watched his brother rush out of the room with two bags in hand. He followed close behind.

"Ryland, what's going on? What're you doing?"

"You've had a shitty week, I've had a bit of a crappy week, too. What's so wrong with taking a day off?" Ryland shrugged as he raided the pantry. He grinned at Colt. "Maybe a couple of days off?"

"What're you talking about? I mean, we're late enough to school that there's no point in going, but what?"

"Pack some snacks."

Ryland shoved a plastic bag to Colt's chest before moving on. Colt didn't know what the hell he was planning, but he went along with it. He grabbed half-eaten bags of chips, a few snack size bags of cookies, some fruit snacks, and a few plastic bottles of peanuts they had stashed away. All the while, Ryland was like a hurricane coming through the house.

Colt finished packing the bag to the brim and met his twin in the doorway to the garage. "Ry, seriously, what're you planning?"

Ryland grabbed the keys to Court's car, stuffing his wallet in his pocket with an excited grin. "Come on!"

He hesitantly followed his twin into the garage, watching the door rise and bring in the late morning light. Court's car was an older Honda CR-V that had definitely seen better days, but still ran wonderfully. He watched Ryland stuff the bags into the back of the car and climb into the driver's seat. He leaned out to look at Colt.

"Get in, dude. Come on!"

Looking at Ryland, he saw the excitement, the promise of adventure. Colt hesitated for a multitude of reasons. One, because he had a feeling Ryland would take them far enough away that they'd be gone for the weekend and that would make Court panic. Two, because going on an impromptu road trip could lead to a whole bunch of issues. The tires could pop. They could run out of gas miles from the nearest gas station. Usually, Ryland was the hesitant thinker, but Colt couldn't help himself.

Colt sighed.

School and work had been giving him a hard time recently, making him feel like another cog trapped in the cycle and unable to escape. He'd been so trapped in his head that he couldn't focus on anything else. Maybe Ryland was right. Maybe he needed this. A little getaway, a little reminder that the world was massive and that he wasn't always going to be confined to their small town.

"Hang on a sec," he said.

Colt went back inside, grabbed Court's old tennis shoes he lent to Colt since his took a shit on him, and rushed into the kitchen. He grabbed their memo pad and a sharpie from the junk drawer to scribble on it.

Hey Court,

me and Ry will be back in a bit. Dunno when, but don't worry about us. We're not running away or anything. Just taking a break. We're taking the car. Sorry.

Love you

Colt :)

He propped the memo pad where he knew Court would see it and rushed back out to the garage. He closed the door behind him and climbed into the passenger seat. Ryland grinned and started the car, pulling out of the garage and pressing the button to close the door. They were on the road.

"Where to?" Ryland asked as he stopped at a stop sign.

Colt rolled down his window. A woman was walking her dog down the sidewalk. "I dunno. Wherever the wind takes us."

Ryland nodded and started driving. Colt felt better already seeing the suburbs grow distant in the side mirror.

Ryland took them on a route Colt had never been on before. To be fair, the Gentry family didn't take vacations. There was never enough money or time. They'd take day trips here and there on random Saturdays Court had a day off, but they never really traveled.

Colt had been tasked with using Ryland's phone GPS to get them on the highway. They lived near Portland, so it took about 25 minutes for them to finally get on Highway 5. From there, Ryland took them South.

"Come on, put something on," Ryland said after two minutes on the highway. He didn't seem nervous, surprisingly. Colt nearly died of laughter the first time his twin drove on the interstate. He looked constipated and gripped the wheel tight enough to bend it. Now, he sat relaxed in the driver's seat with one arm on the wheel and the other relaxed on the windowsill.

Colt fiddled with Ryland's phone which was plugged into the car's stereo. "What do you wanna hear?"

"You know I don't care."

"Road trip music is important."

"Which is why you pick." Ryland risked a glance at him. "This is your trip. You pick."

Colt huffed. "Since when do you get so indecisive?"

"Since when do you use big words?"

He punched Ryland's arm and focused on the music. What to choose…

Ryland had a few playlists made already, but he didn't feel "study time" or "bus ride blues". Whatever the hell that meant. He eventually typed a summer Playlist into the search bar and scanned the first one. Good hits. He pressed shuffle and turned the volume up as music filled the cabin.

Ryland slowly turned to look at him. "Weezer?"

"You don't like them? No hip hip?" Colt sang along and shrugged his shoulders in a weird groove.

"Just wasn't what I was expecting."

"It's nearly summertime and we're taking a road trip, Ry. Island in the Sun is perfect for the occasion." Colt poked Ryland's shoulder. "You said I could pick. It's my trip."

Ryland conceded with a small smile, singing along the next hip hip that came along.

They continued down the interstate for a while. Colt honestly lost track of time, especially when there were so many sights outside. Lots of shopping centers he'd never seen before. New trees. Fresh air.

He and Ryland shared chips they packed when they got hungry, refusing to stop on their impromptu trip. Ryland insisted going as far as they could for the day and maybe camping under the stars. Which on paper sounded good, but how were they supposed to do that with no camping equipment? Colt was fine sleeping in the car, but he was beginning to wonder how much thought Ryland put into this.

With how fast they left the house, he was beginning to think no thought went into it at all.

A few hours in, Colt's phone buzzed on the center console. He checked it, heart leaping to his throat.

"Uh oh," he said.

"What?"

"It's Court."

Ryland reached for his phone, ending the incoming call and holding the power button for 10 seconds until the device powered down for good. Colt watched, mouth agape, as Ryland put the phone back down and continued driving as if everything was okay. When the cabin remained silent, Ryland looked at him with a slight frown. The All-American Rejects continued to play.

"What?" Ryland said. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Who are you and what happened to Ryland Gentry?" Colt said in utter disbelief.

"Uh, I'm still here."

"Ryland Gentry does not hang up when his older brother calls."

"Well, you left him a note, right? He knows we'll be back." Ryland rolled his window down, squinting against the late afternoon sun. Wind rippled through the car. "It's just you and me right now."

Colt continued to stare, amazed at Ryland's sudden gain of confidence. This was the same guy who buckled under zero pressure whenever Courtland so much as looked at him wrong. And here he was turning Colt's phone off to ignore their older brother's worried calls.

The music cut out and Courtland's ringtone cut through. Ryland had it set to the Jurassic Park theme—a joke between the family that Courtland was a fossil.

"Turn it off," Ryland said.

"Shouldn't we at least tell him we're fine and not dead?"

Ryland pondered for a moment, his heart ultimately getting the better of him, for his eyes softened. "Yeah, you're right."

Colt swiped to end the incoming call and opened Ryland's messenger app. He clicked on Courtland's contact and typed up a message.

Hey, we're okay. Just taking a little trip. Be back soon <3

He sent it and turned Ryland's phone off completely. As he put the phone in the cup holder, he was delighted to feel so light. His shoulders didn't have that heavy weight to them that seemed to persist over the past few weeks. No checking school emails, no checking texts, no technology. Just Ryland and Colt on the open road.

The music was off. Right. He didn't really think that one through.

But, since Court was a fossil, he kept CDs in the car. Colt dug through the center console, finding a map of the West Coast, which he realized again that they might need with their GPS gone. He found a few CDs in the center console. Limp Bizkit, The Cranberries, a bunch of "dad rock" that Courtland loved.

Colt unbuckled his seat belt and climbed into the back, much to Ryland's worry. He dug under the seats, finding a black box he knew Court kept other CDs in. He cradled it to his chest and returned to his seat, buckling back in.

"Alright, let's see… how about more Weezer?" Colt asked as he started flicking through the jewel cases.

"Sorry but no. I'm weezered out."

"Okay, what about Foo Fighters?"

"Do we have anything other than rock?"

"Uhhh…"

Colt continued digging through, finding another disc for The Cranberries among other artists. Hootie and the Blowfish. Jimmy Buffet? Garbage, R.E.M, No Doubt. Interesting. Maybe Court liked more than dad rock than he initially thought.

Colt stopped when he spotted a familiar album. He snickered. He'd save that one for later.

He kept going, eventually pulling out The Killers. "We're listening to this."

He popped the CD into the port and waited, seeing Track 1/11 pop up in digital font on the little screen. Colt nodded along, glad to see his brother partaking as well. Colt rolled down his window and turned the music up loud.

They had been on Highway 101 for a while now and passed a bridge over a river. Colt squinted to read a road sign coming up.

"Welcome to Bandon, Oregon," Colt said. The golden rays of the oncoming sunset cast across Ryland's face, making his eyes look icy instead of warm. "What do you think, should we stop for today? We got a good five hours in."

"I'm down," Ryland said with a well-timed yawn.

They got off the interstate at the next exit and drove into town. People bustled about. Couples held hands and crossed the street. Dozens of cars were parked in town, lights providing a welcoming glow to the twins. Colt's stomach grumbled. Not that the snacks they packed weren't sustainable, but they had both eaten the equivalent of a whole bag of chips and it wasn't enough for two hungry growing boys.

Ryland circled a few buildings until he found a parking spot. He put the parking brake on and turned off the ignition, placing the key in his pocket. Colt unbuckled his seat belt and got out of the car. He stretched, getting on his tip toes and putting his arms above his head as far as they'd go. He groaned, his muscles pulling after being stagnant for hours.

"Food," Ryland grumbled.

"Food."

They walked through town, passing a few shop windows. Clothes on mannequins and little girls trying on bows. Looking around, all Colt could see were smiles. It didn't matter what age. Everyone was smiling. It warmed his heart a little, especially after the week he's had.

As they walked, nothing in particular caught Colt's eye. He looked at his brother, finding the same expression. They kept going.

Eventually, Colt spotted the sign they passed on the way in, a metal arch welcoming newcomers into town. He turned left on the corner, gazing into the window of the closest building. Immediately, he was intrigued. He saw a bar. Lots of warm lighting. And the smell…

Colt grabbed Ryland's arm. "What about in here?"

"I'm good for anything. It's up to you."

Colt rushed to the front door. He entered with Ryland trailing behind him. He was greeted by a young woman with a red apron on.

"Hey guys, how's it going?" She said.

"Good, how about you?" Ryland said.

"Good, good. How many are you gonna have?"

"Just us," Colt nodded.

She grabbed two menus. "You guys can follow me."

The twins followed her to a high top table by the window. She placed the menus down and smiled warmly.

"Enjoy, guys," she said.

"Thanks," Ryland nodded at her as he sat down. He grabbed the menu as Colt made himself comfortable. "How do you somehow manage to bring us to bars and grills every time we go out?"

Ryland tapped his finger on the name of the restaurant printed out on top of the menu. Sure enough, Broken Anchor Bar and Grill. Colt shrugged, looking over the menu.

"I dunno, but those cocktails look good…"

"They have cheese curds."

The twins nodded in agreement. Yes, a staple food for them whenever they went out. If a restaurant had it, they were getting it.

"Hello, how are you guys tonight?" a woman asked as she approached their table with napkins and straws.

"Good, thank you," they choruses.

She smiled wider. "Not every day I see twins. Identical ones, at that. What can I get you two to drink?"

"I think we'll both be okay with some water for now, thank you," Colt said. He watched her jot down their drink order. "A-And we'd love to put in an order of cheese curds, please."

"Of course," she said. Only then did Colt notice she had a slight accent. Southern, maybe? Like Texas or Florida. "I'll get those right out for you two."

"Thanks," they said as she walked away.

Colt glanced around. The place was bumping. The bar was full, drinks were being shaken in those metal things that bartenders used, and people's eyes were glued to the TVs that played a baseball game.

Their waitress came back with their waters pretty quickly. "You guys ready to order?"

"Uhhh," Ryland said, trying to conceal another yawn.

Colt pointed at his menu. "Could I please get the Broken Anchor burger? Medium temp, please."

"Fries okay?"

"Yup."

The waitress wrote the order down with a smile. "Okay, what about you, hon?"

"I-I'll do what he's doing," Ryland said as he collected their menus to hand to her.

"Perfect."

"Excuse me, I hope you don't mind me asking, but you have a… is it a southern accent?" Colt asked.

The waitress brightened. Colt read her name tag. Gloria. "Yeah, I'm from Tennessee but I moved out here for my wife's work. Guess I never lost that twang people like to talk about."

Colt chuckled with her. "We've never left Oregon, so it just intrigued me."

"Oh wow. Well, not to assume, but you two look real young. You've got plenty of time to explore the world, meet all sorts of people. The U.S. is like a world of its own, you know, it's so big," Gloria snickered. "I recommend going to Nashville. It's pretty cool, if you get the chance."

"We'll keep it in mind, thank you," Ryland said with a small smile.

Gloria nodded and walked away, leaving Colt with a surge of adventure. He wanted to go, now. He wanted to pack up the old Honda and go on a country wide road trip. He wished they didn't have things like school and work holding them back from doing a trip like that. Maybe they could convince Court to come, too.

They were a year away from graduating high school. Maybe as a gift, they could go on another roadtrip. Visit all sorts of natural wonders and national parks. Colt had always wanted to see the Grand Canyon.

Glancing at his brother, he felt an odd sting in his chest. Nothing bad, just a bit of worry. Ryland made spontaneous decisions sometimes, sure, but nothing like going on a five hour road trip to anywhere and everywhere.

"You've had a shitty week, I've had a bit of a crappy week, too. What's so wrong with taking a day off?"

Everyone had their off days, sure, but what could've happened that made Ryland want to up and leave home? Colt watched him grab his straw and circle it in the water. It created a little tornado, and Ryland watched it with mild interest. He could usually get a good read on his twin, but he'd been so stuffed into his books and studies lately that Colt was having a hard time getting anything out of the distant gaze.

"So what happened to you this week that made you want to drive five hours away?" Colt asked, ever blunt. That was the way to go with Ryland, sometimes.

Ryland met his eyes, suddenly bright and happy again. "Just the usual. Lots of schoolwork…"

"Four AP classes is a lot."

"Yeah, well, I did that to myself, didn't I?" he chuckled.

Colt didn't share the same amusement, especially when he could see the deep bags under his brother's eyes. Especially when he knew Ry was destroying his sleep schedule to keep up with his studies. He wondered why he did it because surely it wasn't worth it, right? In the long run, perhaps, but in the now?

"It's nothing," Ryland defended.

"Dude, we're hours away from home. Chances are we'll never see these people again so stop being so uptight. What's on your mind?"

"This trip isn't about me—"

"Ry. Come on. You wanted to get away for some reason. What is it?"

Ryland nursed his glass of water. The condensation on the outside oozed over his fingers. Ryland looked away, but Colt couldn't. He needed to know. He thanked the person who brought them their appetizer but he didn't touch the food. He needed answers.

"Ry—"

"I dunno, man," Ryland finally sighed. He begrudingly popped a cheese curd in his mouth. His eyes were glazed, conflicted. "I… I've been so focused on my future because I keep getting all of these emails from the colleges I applied to and whatnot and it just… it's a lot."

"How so?"

"I applied to, like, fifteen places. I've heard back from all of them."

Colt spread his arms. "What's wrong with that? That's a good thing!"

Ryland grabbed two more cheese curds, dipping them in marinara. He shook his head.

"You applied to ivy league, right? You got in and you didn't tell us?"

"I'm not in. At least not yet. I dunno. They just keep sending those promo emails."

"What's the problem, then?" Colt pressed.

"The problem is that when I get into school—"

"Burgers over here?" the foodrunner asked.

"Yes, thank you," Colt said as he set their food down and walked away. He didn't get a chance to tell Ry to continue because his brother was busy stuffing his face with the still steaming burger. Colt sighed, finishing off the last few bites of their appetizer knowing that he wouldn't get a proper answer out of Ryland until they left.

They ate in comfortable silence ocassionally being broken up by a rowdy group at the corner of the bar. Something about sports statistics and players and home runs or whatever. The food was good. It made Colt feel heavy and ready to go to bed. Gloria came by to check on them again to give them refills and their check. Colt slapped a few twenties on the tab before Ryland could, giving him a slight glare that made him slowly put his wallet away.

They left shortly after, wishing Gloria well on their way out and being met with a charming smile from her in return. Colt hadn't realized how warm the building was until he stepped outside, meeting a chilly breeze head on. The sun was just on the horizon, now, casting the town in a golden glow, and still the wind bit at them.

The walk to the car was cold. Ryland stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets while his shoulders rose to his ears in a meek attempt to preserve warmth. Colt hadn't planned for the weather at all. He faced the elements in a t-shirt and jeans, a typical outfit he'd wear on any other day. The outfit Ryland picked out for him that morning when they both thought they'd be an hour and a half late to school instead of five hours South.

They made it back to the car just as Colt felt his nose tingling from the cold. Colt beat Ryland to the driver's seat and motioned for the keys. His brother must've been too cold to complain, for he gave the keys without protest. They clambored into the car and Colt started it. In the few minutes it took for the car to warm up, Colt reached for the map and unfolded it, finding their current location. He studied the surrounding area while grabbing his jacket from the backseat and slipping into it.

Colt memorized the path to the beach before pulling out of their parking spot. They came all this way. They might as well get a good sight in before the moon rose. He flung the map at Ryland, who gave him a slight glare as he tried to fold it back to its rightful spot.

The drive was less than ten minutes after Colt accidentally drove them in a circle in town. He approached a half empty parking lot and the sun halfway down the horizon. But Colt could see it. He could see rock formations going into the water and sand and sea. Excitement flooded his veins as he quickly parked, taking the key and stuffing it in his pocket, and scrambling out of the car.

"What, Colt! Where are you—"

"Get out, Ry! Come on!"

Colt pressed the lock button on the keys as Ryland got out. He started towards a wooden staircase, hearing his brother right on his tail. Colt ran down the stairs at a worrying speed. He nearly tripped a few times which surely would've made his week (and the bruise on his head) a whole lot worse. Colt's shoes hit the sand, and suddenly, nothing else mattered.

He looked back to find Ryland coming down the stairs at a slower, more calculated pace. Colt could see the excitement in his eyes, though. The adventure he promised hours ago.

Once Ryland made it to the bottom of the stairs, Colt grabbed his wrist and started running. He ignored the wind nipping at their faces.

"Colt—" Ryland exclaimed with a smile.

"Let's go!"

Colt dragged his brother through the sand until they were feet away from the waves lapping onto the shore. He let go of Ryland to take off his shoes and socks, rolling up his jeans as far as they'd go before splashing in the water.

Colt yelped, goosebumps running up his legs. "Shit! It's cold!"

Ryland laughed, the wind ruffling his hair. He pushed up his glasses before following Colt's example and taking off his shoes and socks. He started their day in cargo shorts, so he wasted no time in joining his brother in the water. Colt laughed when Ryland flinched back from the water.

"When you said cold, you didn't mention freezing!" Ryland shouted over the waves.

"Shut up, you big baby!"

Ryland kicked water at him. Yeah, it was cold. The saltwater seeped into Colt's jacket. He chuckled darkly, a smirk tugging at his lips.

"You wanna play that game?" he warned.

Ryland shrugged with challenge in his eyes. "What game? I see no game to be played here."

Colt kicked water back. Ryland did it again.

"You're stepping into a dangerous game, Ry. Are you sure you wanna keep going?"

"I was unaware the public beach was a game. Care to enlighten me about the rules?"

That little shit. He knew it, too, by the way his eyes sparkled and his body tensed in preparation to run. Colt lunged, his fingers brushing the back of Ryland's jacket as his brother took off down the shore.

"Get back here!" Colt yelled much to the amusement of the couple passing by.

Ryland shrieked when Colt nearly caught him again, but Ryland was evasive. Years of playing tag with Colt and Court had trained him into a seasoned veteran. He could contort his body into weird ways that would have Colt's back breaking into two, all in an effort to evade a simple game of tag.

The twins ran down the shoreline kicking up sand and water, hearts soaring happily and smiles permanently etched on their faces. Ryland was giggling, Colt couldn't stop smiling and laughing, and nothing else in that moment mattered at all. Not school, not the fact that Colt still had his wallet in his pocket when he promised himself he'd bring it nowhere near the water, and certainly not his job at the local grocery store. His manager was a bitch, and instead of bitching about her like he thought he would during the trip, he completely forgot about her.

The last of the sun's rays caressed them before falling behind the horizon, transforming the sky from a mix of pink, orange, and yellow to a deep blue. Colt chased Ryland back towards their shoes. Even though his lungs were begging him to stop and catch his breath, he pushed, closing the distance between him and his brother.

Colt tackled Ry into the sand, the momentum causing them to roll a few times before coming to a stop. Colt couldn't breathe, and the laughter made it ten times harder to catch his breath. Ryland had a thin sheet of sweat covering his brow, his glasses askew on his nose, and a groan falling from his mouth as Colt used him as a crutch to stand up. He pushed on Ryland's chest to stand on shaky knees, raising a victorious fist in the air.

"I win!" he huffed.

"You didn't…" Ryland heaved as he sat up, dusting the sand from his shoulders. "Didn't even… there was no game!"

"I always win tag, in case you've forgotten. You've really let yourself go, huh? Can't run from me that long?"

"Look at you—" Ryland puffed indignantly, gesturing to the fact that Colt was also trying desperately to breathe properly "—big boy! When was the last time you've run like that?"

"Shut up, biggie!"

Colt flopped in the sand beside Ryland, gazing out at the dark sea. He loved the beach. He loved the salty air, the way the wind seemed to curl like a wave itself all the way down the shore. He loved the way the grains of sand felt in between his toes. Courtland would call him odd for it, but his older brother was a hater. His opinion didn't matter in this regard.

"You're the big back," Ryland said. "I saw how you ate that burger."

"Like you were any better."

His twin snickered, once again reminding Colt of the important things. Not his job, not really school (though it was very important), but family. His livelihood. Who he surrounds himself with. He couldn't picture a life without his brothers. He wouldn't have it any other way.

The thought made him frown, recalling Ryland's words earlier before the food runner interrupted them. When he gets accepted to college, what will happen? Most of the colleges as far as Colt knew were out of state. Ryland would have to pack up and move himself however many miles away for his education.

Colt hadn't spent a lot of time separated from his twin, not since they were born. They were brought into the world together (a minute or so apart, but still) and they remained together for their entire lives. Hardly did you see one twin without the other close behind. Though they always walked side by side. Always on equal ground.

When Ryland gets accepted to school, he'd go away for a while. He could visit, yeah, but Colt knows his brother. He'd be too engrossed in his studies to make time to come home. Ryland had big aspirations, big theories and research questions that needed thorough research, and that would take time. All of his time.

It would be the longest they'd ever been without each other. The furthest they'd ever been away from each other. Just thinking about it formed a pit in his stomach. Imagining dropping Ryland off in his new dorm, his new home, just… it ripped Colt's heart into two. What would he do when Ryland was gone? Colt didn't have the same aspirations nor the smarts to follow in his footsteps. Molecular biology wasn't interesting to him. He didn't know what he wanted to do with his future.

But he always pictured he'd face it with Ryland. Like always. Together.

Colt watched the waves roll onto shore. The beach was actively changing before their eyes, much like themselves. Ryland was focusing on his future, his career, while Colt clung to the sense of normalcy he was about to lose within the next year. He was excited to graduate high school and be free, but with graduation came the realization that he was going to lose his brother.

"Hey." Ryland nudged his side, scooting until their shoulders brushed. "I thought frowns were banned on this trip."

"Well, we came out here for a reason, didn't we?"

"Yeah, to get away from the things that make us frown. No more frowning, Colt. We're at the beach!"

"I…"

Looking at Ryland was painful. He could see it bright as day; his brother in a lab coat and a doctorate degree in his pocket walking into his big shot lab and explaining difficult concepts to his peers or whatever molecular biologists do. Colt would be proud of his brother regardless of what he chose to do in his future, but right then sitting on the beach, the future looked painful for him. A future where he couldn't wake up and see his brother in their shared room sleeping just a few feet away. Snoring.

Change was never good to Colt. It made him bitter, snippy. It made him angry. It made him lash out easily. God knows Court deserves some sort of financial compensation for the fits he had to endure from Colt when he got a new, higher paying job that came with more hours away from home. Call it codependency or whatever. Colt just loved his brothers too much to bear being away from them for too long.

Colt would always support his brothers no matter what. He loved them too much not to even at the expense of his heart.

"Colt?" Ryland said, unsure. A slight frown.

He reached out, using his pointer finger to push his brother's cheek so he was smiling. "You're right. No more frowning."

"No, what was that? You look… really sad. You had that look on your face."

"What look?"

"This one."

Ryland made a face like a kicked puppy. Fair enough.

Colt exhaled, turning his gaze back to the water. Ever changing. Tomorrow, they could look at the same beach and it would be different. None of them would ever know. Ryland nudged him again, a bit gentler this time.

"You… you talked about college back there. What were you saying?"

The wind passed through again. Goosebumps rose on Colt's skin, his legs suddenly freezing. He rolled down his pant legs, thankful that he hadn't gotten them wet. It didn't do much to fight against the chill. He heard Ryland inhale deeply.

"I was gonna say that when I get into school, I'll probably have to move away. Things are gonna change, Colt, and… I'm scared."

Colt risked a glance. Ryland's gaze was thoughtful but devastated.

"Why would you be scared? College is a good thing. It'll be good for you," he said knowing damn well his thoughts were screaming the opposite.

"Think about it. I'll have to pack up, leave home. We've never been outside the state. There's all sorts of different people and places and… it's too much."

"That's a good thing, no? You'll get to see new places, meet new people. Maybe finally make some friends." Colt snickered when his brother chuckled. He sobered quickly, though, seeing Ryland's glossy gaze return to the sea. "I get it. It's scary."

"I'll be far from home. From you and Court. I've never…"

"Yeah."

"What am I supposed to do?"

Colt grabbed a fist full of sand, watching the grains fall from between his fingers. "Whatever you want to do."

"But—"

"You don't need permission to do what you want, Ry. You can take what you want. Do what you want. You'll be an adult next year."

"Colt."

"Ry."

His twin's eyes were suddenly misty. Colt blinked back his own tears.

"I don't want to leave you," Ryland muttered, his voice shaky.

Colt snickered. "You're acting like you're leaving me to bleed out and die."

"That's what it'll feel like. I know it. You know it. So why are you being so supportive about it?"

"Is it so bad that I want to see you happy? Even… even if I'm not in the picture?" Colt pondered. Not angry, not if his rapid heartbeat wanted him to be. "It'll hurt, yeah, but what in life doesn't hurt? It'll hurt if you go, it'll hurt if you don't go because I know you'll be sulking and kicking yourself for not following your dream, it'll hurt regardless of anything and everything! It doesn't mean I can't be proud of you and what you'll accomplish."

"I don't want to hurt you—"

"Oh my God, Ry, did you not hear what I just said? It's going to hurt." Colt turned to face his brother head on, desperately failing to hold back the tears. "No matter what happens, it'll hurt and I know it. I'm prepared to deal with it. But we're lucky that we live in a time where we can press a button and boom! We can talk over the phone. We can FaceTime or Skype or whatever. We can still talk to each other."

Ryland shook his head, his bottom lip wobbling. "It won't be the same."

"And that's okay—"

"No it's not—"

"I want you to succeed, Ry. Me and Court want you to go to college, to get that degree, to do whatever it is you wanted to do. You've always been the smartest of us."

"But what about you? Court?"

"We'll be fine as long as we know you're happy."

"That's not enough for me."

"W-What do you want me to tell you?"

"I don't know!"

Colt grabbed his brother's shoulders, looking him right in his teary eyes that broke his heart. "Look, we're always going to be there for you no matter what. Even if you're a hundred miles away, we'll be there. Change… it'll suck. It'll hurt for all of us, but it's just a few years. A-And it's not like we'll never see each other again. Wherever you go, me and Court will find a way to visit like every week. Or every other week. Gas is expensive."

Ryland smiled, a tear falling into the sand. "What if I want to stay?"

"Then… you stay, I guess. It's up to you. But just know that Court's gonna beat your ass if you let a full ride scholarship go to waste." Colt wiped his wet cheek on his shoulder. "You don't have to be scared. We'll be there every step of the way, even if were far apart. Hell, I'll… I'll come leech off of your free housing—"

"Full ride only pays for tuition—"

"—and I'll stay as long as you want me to. I've got nothing better to do, anyway. No dreams or none of that."

"But then you won't get to do what you want to do. We're… our own people."

And if that didn't hurt…

Colt couldn't remember a single day within the last ten years that he and Ryland were apart. Maybe for a few hours for some school thing or whatever, but never for days at a time. They were always together. Always up to no good, joking with each other, pulling harmless pranks on Court that made him smile. Looking at Ryland now, he was two words away from bawling, and Colt was right there with him. He may not be the smart twin, but he had his own words of wisdom to abide by. Maybe something Ryland could take to heart.

"That's part of growing up," Colt said shakily. "We're not kids anymore. We can't fit on the public park's swing set anymore, or the slides. Court can't hold our hands forever. We've grown up, grown into our own individual people. That doesn't mean we won't always be connected."

Ryland sniffled, the tears flowing freely now. Colt rubbed his thumb into his shoulder and ignored his stuttering lungs, his stinging eyes. How did their carefree, fun road trip turn into a crying fest while talking about a future not set in stone?

"How'd it happen so fast?" Ryland cried, haphazardly wiping his eyes. "Thought we'd have more time… I wanted more time."

"Time isn't kind to any of us. It's a bitch."

Colt laughed, relishing in the way he somehow managed to make Ryland smile even as the gargantuan weight of their futures pressed down on them. Why did it have to be so complicated? Why did life have to drive people away, people who loved and cared for one another? Why did Colt have to be so dependent on his baby brother to the point where he was seriously considering moving to college with him? Maybe it was just his big heart clinging to Ryland the way his twin clung to him. Or maybe it was just him hating the idea of change so much that he couldn't accept his world any other way than what it was in that moment.

He turned back to the sea, though he slung his arm around Ryland's shoulder and brought him into his side. "I'll always be there, Ry. No matter what the world throws at us."

"Same here."

Colt traced lines into the sand, resting his head atop his brother's. Ryland's arm came up around his back, fingers digging into his jacket. On the beach, everything seemed so far away. The future they spoke of seemed like decades away as opposed to a year. His problems seemed so miniscule in the vast view of the waves and stars that started to show above. He remembered when they were little how Ryland stuck his nose into giant books. He loved astronomy for a minute there until he learned that the ocean had layers and deep-sea creatures.

Colt stared at the stars. He pointed at a particularly bright one. "Is that the North Star?"

Ryland hummed, following his gaze. "I dunno."

"Did you forget all those astronomy books you read?"

"Think so."

"Well, if that star's not taken, I'm claiming it. It's ours. What'll we name it?"

Ryland smiled, small huffs of laughter escaping him. "Uhh, what about… Gentry?"

"Boring."

"Cici?"

"Not a pizza place."

"Gigi?"

"Bro—"

"Okay, okay," Ryland chuckled again before falling silent. Thinking. It took him a full minute to wrack his all-knowing brain for an answer. "Philia."

Colt looked at the star. His heart warmed. "Not bad. Took you a while to pick that name so there's gotta be some significance behind it."

"It's one of the four words the Greeks used for love."

Oh. Ryland gets the chance to name a star and he names it love. How fitting for a brother who knows how to do nothing but love unconditionally. Colt's chest warmed, ruffling his brother's hair just because he could.

"How do you know Greek?" Colt blurted.

"Had a little phase there when we learned about Greece in school."

"Of course you did." Colt shivered a little with the next breeze. He checked his wristwatch. Nearly midnight. "I'm freezing. Let's go back to the car."

Ryland nodded and they collected their shoes, starting the walk back to the car.

"No more sad talks on this trip," Ryland said pointedly.

"You started it when you mentioned college."

"And who asked me what was bothering me?"

"Is it so bad that I worry?"

"No."

They collected their shoes and socks and padded up the wooden staircase. Their feet slapped against the wood. As they drew further from the ocean, the roars dulled to white noise that had Colt mere minutes away from falling asleep to. For doing basically nothing but sitting, eating, and driving all day, Colt was tired. It was all of that crying.

They found the car and got inside. Colt put the key in the cupholder as he hit his shoes together outside. If Court found sand in the car, he was going to pitch a fit for sure. Just to be safe, Colt made a mental note to go through a car wash whenever they decided to go home. Court worked to much to get his car back and have it be full of something he despises.

Ryland followed his example, though he huffed at his bare feet still covered in sand flaking grains on the weather mats.

"We'll fix it," Colt said.

"I know."

"So uh… camp under the stars or something? What're we doing?"

Ryland shrugged, gazing at him with a blank look.

"That doesn't help at all."

"I don't care."

Colt faced the steering wheel. He brushed his fingers along the leather. He was tired, sure, but he wasn't satisfied yet. The roads were busy earlier, but in the middle of the night? They'd be cruising with no problems. Except highway patrol. Gotta watch for them. Colt tapped the wheel, feeling his twin's eyes on him.

Colt grabbed the keys and put them in the ignition. He grinned when the car whirred to life. Looking at his brother, Ryland was happy. His eyes were a bit puffy and red, still a little glazed over, but he was looking at Colt with great fondness. Love, matching the name he gave to the star. And his smile. While he shared the same face as Colt, their smiles were different. Ryland's were softer unless he was joking or being a little shit. Colt's were more like smirks instead of smiles, but he managed one just for his brothers.

He smiled back, patting Ryland's chest. "I'll drive. Get some rest."

"Where to?"

"Wherever the road takes us."

He backed out of the parking lot, watching Ryland start to flick through Courtland's CD collection. He followed the signs towards the highway again while Ryland muttered under his breath. Something about rock music. Ryland was a fan, surprisingly, but he had to be in a specific mood for it, which led to lots of grumpy expressions from the back seat of the car on the ride to school in the morning. Courtland didn't know at all. Or if he did, he didn't care about Ryland's moods.

Colt was back on the highway a few minutes later, still heading South. As Ryland continued to look for music, Colt observed the sights as they passed. A few more buildings, trees. Somehow, the trees felt different than the ones near home. Like they were part of the adventure, the differences Colt was so keen on seeing.

Ryland came across a CD near the back of the box. He took it out, turning it over in his hands. "Huh."

"What?"

"Doesn't have a booklet." Ryland popped the case open. "It's blank."

Colt's curiosity got the better of him. If Court didn't want them to listen to it, then he should've found somewhere else to put it where the twins wouldn't find it. Though, Colt doubted his brother cared if they listened to it or not. "Pop it in."

Ryland put the CD in the port, leaning back in his seat as the car read the disk. Fourteen tracks. Interesting. The music that filled the cabin was not at all what Colt expected. Of course, Court could like whatever music he wanted, but this was… starkly different than what Colt usually heard him listening to. Soft percussion with lots of reverb, an odd sounding thing trilling in the back, and what sounded like a guitar being played very softly.

"You always go to the parties"

A woman's voice, loud but soft at the same time.

"To pluck the feathers off all the birds"

He and Ryland shared a look.

"On your knees

I would not beg you please

I want your picture but not your words

You know thay'd want it, but there's no first

On your own, you cannot call it your home"

Colt listened to the melancholy tone, wondering just what the hell he and Ryland stumbled upon. It sounded like something Ryland would have on a playlist called Sad Time or something. This was the kind of tune that had you turn off your brain and focus on the instrumentals, on the haunting vocalist.

"Jack of all trades

Master of none

Cry all the time

'Cause I'm not having fun

You always want to be forgiven

The devil does what you ask of him

On your knees

You cannot, you are not for free"

The song ended a moment later, leaving around five seconds of silence for the twins to digest what they'd just listened to. The lyrics got Colt a little more than they should have. They just… they matched Court a little too well. He was a jack of all trades, master of none. He could do anything but there was nothing in particular that he was an expert on. He didn't really understand if there was an underlying meaning to the song, but one thing was for sure. They must've stumbled upon a disk that Court only listened to when things got tough.

Especially when the next song held the same principle, except this time, Colt knew the artist and song name.

"Radiohead?" he muttered. "Wow."

"What?" Ryland asked, his brows furrowed worriedly.

"Court's… I think this is the equivalent to you making a playlist of sad songs. This is his sad music."

"How can you tell?"

"This song is called Bullet Proof I Wish I Was," Colt said pointedly. "Is that not enough? And that last one?"

Ryland shrugged. "Maybe we should find something else."

Neither of them moved. No effort was made to remove the disc. Colt liked Radiohead, but much like Ryland's moods about rock, he had to be in a mood to listen to them. With all their talking on the beach and how tired he was, he was in a mood. Ryland let his head rest against the window, his eyes staring at the blur of trees passing by, probably feeling the same as Colt.

Hearts heavy with uncertainty but full of love.

After Radiohead, it was another song he didn't know. Then it was back to Radiohead with Lurgee. Insane picks in Colt's opinion, in the fact that they were songs he thought Court never heard before. Hell, he even had a song from The Smiths on there. Colt didn't like The Smiths as much but their sound was unmistakable.

The twins listened in silence. There was nothing to say. Both of their minds went back to their older brother, who was probably worried sick. The text they sent earlier probably didn't help much. Colt had half a mind to turn his phone back on just to send another text, but he couldn't. He was driving. And Ryland didn't want him to.

He couldn't tell if it was just the vibes of the road trip, especially with it being the dead of night and no other headlights on the road, but Colt found his mind wandering a bit much. Maybe the introspective music helped a bit. But Colt's thoughts wandered from the road to the burger he had earlier and how it was okay. He thought about the integrity of the car, about the fact that the gas meter was nearing empty and there didn't seem to be any gas stations nearby.

Most importantly, all he could think about was his and Ryland's discussion on the beach. It was exactly as he thought. Ryland was scared of change, just like him. He was scared that the distance wouldn't just be physical, but would manifest into a chasm in their relationship. Not just with Colt, but with Court, too. He was scared that everything was going to change and he had no control over it. Colt couldn't blame him. He was terrified, too.

At the end of the day, Colt wanted Ryland to be happy. If that meant moving across the country to go to school, then so be it. They were lucky to live in a time where they could just click a button and call each other, but like Ryland said, it wouldn't be the same. Wouldn't feel the same. Colt knew even if he saw Ryland on a screen, his heart would ache for contact. To be able to feel for himself that his brother was alive and okay.

The last song on the disc caught Colt's attention with the odd high pitched sound. Then, it delved again into soft percussion and guitar. Static. Strings. Odd sounds, like a train whizzing by. Except this time, there wasn't singing, but talking. An English accent.

"In those days there was a kind of fever

That pushed me out the front door"

Colt listened intently again. This felt like another message from Court, another insight into the weight he carries every day. Something he didn't want the twins to know or worry about.

"Everything in my life felt like it was coming to a mysterious close

I could hardly walk to the end of the street

Without feeling there was no way to go except back

The dates I'd had that summer had come to nothing

My job was a dead end and the rent check was killing me a little more each month

It seemed unlikely that anything could hold much longer

The only question left to ask was what would

Happen after everything familiar collapsed"

Colt found his eyes flooding with tears again, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip. He knew he didn't make it easy on Court growing up. Their father was a shitbag who beat them, their mother passed a little after the twins were born and there was no other immediate family who could take them in.

He knew Court got a job when he was fifteen, how scared he was to leave the eight year old twins at home alone with their drunken father. The twins would reassure him, would do exactly as he said to keep each other safe and to not make any noise. Some nights, that wouldn't be enough, and their father's rampage would storm through the house whether the twins made a peep or not. And when Court would come home, he would be horrified. He'd cry, apologize over and over again, saying he'd quit his job.

Even at a young age, Colt knew he needed it, and managed to convince him each time to not give up. It toughened Colt up a bit, same as Ry, but a grown man beating an eight year old felt impossible to overcome. They couldn't fight back on equal footing.

And when Ryland nearly drowned at the hands of their father, Courtland took matters into his own hands. He protected them. They were immensely lucky that anyone and everyone involved in the case knew the man had a record and could use context clues to see that yes, the man was a fucking assshole and Court was just protecting them. It wasn't easy after that, like always.

Court was given an opportunity by one of the jury members that took immense pity on them. A higher paying job with decent hours, not too bad of a gig. Of course he had to take it. When he was working and the twins were home from school, they'd go next door to their neighbor's house to have tea and do their homework. Ms. Rachel was nice like that. She even helped them with work.

It took a village in the form of all their neighbors and cost Court his sanity, but somehow they grew into good men.

Where did that leave Court? What had he been feeling this entire time?

In the background against the narrator, a man's soft, raspy voice sang: "la la la, la la la la la la."

It only added to the deep ache Colt suddenly felt again, the way his heart twisted in his chest at the thought of his older brother. Everything he's ever sacrificed for them, how he tried his damn best whenever Colt lashed out, angry at something but having no outlet other than Court to take it out on. Because Court could take an argument, Ryland sometimes couldn't, especially not from Colt.

"And suddenly tired I sat down

I held my head in my hands, feeling like shit

But a sudden breeze escaped from the terraces

And for a moment I lost my thoughts in its unexpected coolness

I looked up and realized I was sitting in a photograph"

Colt snuck a glance at Ryland, finding his brother was already silently sobbing, biting his knuckles to keep from making noise.

"I remembered clearly

This photograph was taken by my mother in

1982 outside our front garden in Hampshire

It was slightly underexposed"

Colt quietly sniffled. Now that he thought about it, any picture he had of himself and Ryland, there was a distinct lack of a third brother. Courtland was always the one behind the camera. Always documenting, always smiling, but never participating. Never letting himself be documented alongside them. Colt's gut tied into knots, overthinking every single picture Courtland had taken over the last however many years and becoming horrified with the knowledge that no, Courtland Gentry did not make an appearance in most pictures.

Listening to the song, he felt so connected to his brother that it felt like he was going to die of some gargantuan grief. He was living through Court's eyes, watching himself and Ryland grow up with smiles and love for their big brother. He was seeing them start middle school, then high school. He was feeling the indescribable gut punch that was realizing that nothing good lasts forever. The Gentry brothers would eventually part ways and continue with their careers, calling each other every day and trying to plan a get-together. Though, everyone knows how easy it is to plan a get-together once you have a job and a life.

"I felt guilty and inconsolobly sad

I felt the instinctive tug back

To school, the memory of shopping malls, cooking

Driving in my mother's car

All gone, gone forever"

Again, when things did inevitably change, where would that leave Court? In an empty house with the twins' room untouched, exactly as they left it last.

"I was happy to sit in the photo while it lasted

Which wasn't for long anyway"

Seventeen years have passed in the blink of an eye. Most bad, but others full of smiles and laughs and a house full of love. Full of Courtland's intense yet gentle care. Colt's vision blurred considerably more as tears flowed like rivers down his cheeks. Ryland wasn't faring any better.

"A bus was rumbling to my rescue down the hill

With a great big fire Alexandra Palace on its front

And I realized I did want a drink after all"

The song ended in a gentle strum of strings and a lingering sound, like a soft saxophone. The silence that filled the car was almost tangible. The disc popped out of the radio. Ryland sniffled, reaching for it to place in its rightful home.

Courtland had done so much for them. Colt would always be grateful, forever in debt even if Court insisted he was just doing the right thing. It was not transactional. It was never meant to feel transactional. A big brother took care of the little ones. That was fact, a rule that Court abided by every single day of his life ever since the twins came along.

He raised them better than their father ever could have.

He encouraged them.

He made them better people.

He loved them.

Colt had the decency to feel a sliver of shame for just peeling out of the driveway after leaving a note behind. The amount of gray hairs they probably caused Court to sprout sounded funny, but only made his gut twist in retrospect, especially after coming along their older brother's true thoughts and feelings put into a disc.

Colt couldn't stop the tears, couldn't stop the thoughts of Court putting his entire mind, body, and soul into caring for them. And what did they do? Teenager things. Run around rampant, be rebellious in their own way, be spontaneous and think about the consequences after the action was already over. Granted, it was almost like a rite of passage, but after hearing that disc…

Colt didn't know anymore.

He wanted Ryland to be happy but didn't want him to leave his side. He wanted Court to be happy but didn't know how to make him smile when his heart was a hurricane of empty nest syndrome and grief over his little brothers growing up too fast.

Existential thinking was one of Colt's specialties. He just wished it would take the backseat for a night.

One thing was certain in the car through all the sniffling and wiping snot onto sleeves. The urge to go home.

Colt pulled over to the side of the road.

"Colt—" Ryland started, his voice raspy and tired.

He didn't say a word. He got out and stood before the metal railing lining the side of the highway. He overlook the sea. If it were under any other circumstance, he would've felt the same way he did on the beach two hours ago. Now, his heart felt empty again, realizing just how much he hated change and how fast that change was approaching.

Why couldn't they be like the waves? They crashed into the shore. It was basically their only job. Lap at the sand, bring away the grains to a new location, soak up the sun. Why couldn't they be free to do what they wanted? Why were they supposed to go to college, get a degree, find a stable career path?

Why couldn't Colt cling to normalcy for a little while longer even though, in the end, he knew the reality would kill him all over again? Why did he have to adhere to societal standards and go out into the world when all he wanted to do was stay with his family?

Courtland would always extend the invite to visit, he knew. But the seventeen years they've had together haven't been enough. It would never be enough. Colt wanted to stay. A childish part of him wished he could force time to go backwards, to when they were little and all that was on their minds was what was for dinner. Not taxes and college and shit.

Ryland stood silently beside him, though a few stray tears continued to leak from his eyes. "Colt."

"Yeah?" he muttered.

"I… I think I'm ready to go home." Ryland glanced at him, glassy eyes reflecting the stars.

Colt inhaled deeply. The salty air. The cool night breeze. The moon's soft blue glow overhead and the way the giant ball in the sky was painted across the sea. He'd gotten a taste of freedom and part of him wanted to stay there. He didn't want to confine himself back to the box of the grocery store or school.

"What's even the point of it all?" he breathed shakily. "Why work ourselves to death for majority of our lives just to live the rest of our years, where we can't move like we used to 'cause we're old, just… existing? Taking up space?"

"I don't know."

"There's not enough time—" Colt's voice broke as another uncontrollable sob wracked his body "—to spend together. Not with what people call 'life' getting in the way."

"We'll make time. You know that."

"Doesn't make me feel better."

"I know."

"Fuck."

Ryland brought him into a hug, his arms squeezing tight. Colt returned the embrace immediately. It almost felt like he was losing his brother already to some stupid college he didn't know the name of. Or time. The day was long and short at the same time. It didn't feel like enough, and still, Colt agreed. It was time to go home.

"We'll be okay," Ryland whispered alongside the wind that brushed his ear.

"How do you know that?" Colt sniffled.

He didn't respond. Colt squeezed his brother tighter, held him closer, because he didn't know when he would be able to next.

"I'll drive."

The twins got back in the car, yet another reminder of their older brother that awaited them at home. Worried. Colt slouched in the passenger seat as Ryland got them turned around, heading back North. Back home.

For the first hour, the twins sat in silence. Another hour passed, and Colt rolled his window down to feel the last remnants of the sea breeze. Feel the cool air, taste the saltiness.

Halfway into the second hour, Colt checked the dash for the time. Nearly three in the morning. They'd arrive home probably near the six o'clock range, right when Court usually starts his day.

In the cover of the night, Colt brought out the CD he saved earlier. He popped it in, making sure Ryland didn't notice the cover or artist. The beginnings of Hello by Oasis started, and if that didn't wake Colt right up, he didn't know what else could do the job. He watched Ryland out of the corner of his eye, seeing him smile fondly and shake his head. Ryland loved Oasis.

He sang along with Ryland, shouting against the wind that whizzed by on the highway. Colt's heart was still heavy, still bleeding and aching, but it patched itself slightly as if Oasis was somehow this magical cure to existential crisis and dread. Fear relinquished its hold on Colt for the time being, especially with the presence of Ryland's smiles as he finally let loose again and sang with his whole chest.

Two songs later, a familiar piano and guitar combo started. Colt wordlessly turned the volume dial up to maximum, sharing a small look with his brother.

"Slip inside the eye of your mind

Don't you know you might find a better place to stay?" the twins sang.

Colt loved this song as much as anyone, but after the night of sobbing and thinking too much, he once again found himself listening—really listening—to the lyrics.

"So I start a revolution from my bed," Ryland sang, his finger reaching up to push a button. Colt grinned, retracting the sunroof cover. The cabin filled with chilly gusts as they flew down the highway.

This was what it was all about. Life. Feeling light, like you could do anything and everything with the people you love by your side. No worries of deadlines or time in general. Just you, your brother, and open road.

Colt zipped up his jacket until it reached his sternum to stop the fabric from billowing about. His hair stabbed his eyes with the wind's intense ruffles.

"Stand up beside the fireplace

Take that look from off your face

You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out"

The twins put all their chests into the words. Every feeling they had over the last fifteen hours poured from their tongues, intertwining with the lyrics, the anticipation of the chorus. Ryland looked at him with sparkles in his eyes. Happiness with a twinge of grief. Colt took a deep breath. Fresh air.

"So, Sally can wait!" the twins exploded in song.

"She knows it's too late as we're walking on by"

Colt's heart was so light, in fact, that he thought it to be a great idea to pull himself through the sunroof. He felt Ryland's hand cling to his jacket for stability. Colt raised his arms as they continued straight back home.

"Her soul slides away

But don't look back in anger, I heard you say"

Screaming Oasis to the wind seemed like a great idea. It was therapeutic for sure, but it also had Colt's eyes stinging from the freezing winds curling into him. He quickly lowered himself back into the cabin and into his seat during the instrumental break. Well, he had his little movie moment. He was happy.

Ryland was laughing. Smiling.

The future was uncertain, unpredictable, and a pain in the ass for Colt Gentry.

He'd face it if it meant he got to see more smiles like that. Together, with his brothers. The way it should and always will be.

"It's been nearly twenty-four hours."

"You've gotta give 'em more time, man."

"Are you not hearing me? It's almost been twenty-four hours!"

"They're, what, seventeen? Shit, I remember being their age. I was doing all kinds of shit."

"Well, they're not you!"

Courtland was losing his mind. He arrived home near three PM, like always, calling out to his brothers as he locked the front door behind him. He didn't hear anything, which wasn't unusual. Sometimes they were studying and had headphones in or something. Courtland set his keys in the trinket dish by the door and kicked off his shoes onto the mat.

The first red flag was how quiet it was. With the twins, it was almost never quiet. At least not as quiet as to where Courtland's ears were ringing. He stopped in the entryway to listen. Nothing. Not a single peep. Not even the sound of Ryland's pen scribbling against his desk. The twins didn't like keeping their door shut, so he would've been able to hear it from down the hall.

The second red flag was the lack of lights being on. Ryland especially was terrible about turning off lights when he left a room, and yet as Courtland entered the kitchen, the lights were off. Sure, Colt could've turned them off, but there was a sinking pit in Court's gut.

"Guys?" he called again. "Ry! Colt?"

He hurried down to their room. He wasn't an adult anymore but a fifteen year old coming home from his shoddy job to screaming and crying, his father holding Ryland under the full bathtub while Colt tried desperately to get him to let go of his twin. Courtland stood in their doorway, the gut feeling worsening when he saw the state of their bedroom. Their beds were unmade, their backpacks still in the same spots as they were the night before, completely untouched.

Their closet was open. Clothes were missing. A few hangars were on the floor, probably from how hard one of them tugged a shirt from its rightful spot. Court took into account all of these details, being careful not to touch anything as he checked for a possible break-in. If something happened, it happened early enough for them to have not even touched their backpacks, so before school. Before eight AM.

Deep breaths, he reminded himself. Their window was locked. He can't hurt them anymore. He's dead.

So then what the fuck happened? Where are they?

Courtland fished his cell phone out of his pocket as he left their room, 9-1-1 queued up to call when he entered the kitchen again. His eyes fluttered about, and just as he was about to dial the police, he spotted their memo pad propped up against the counter.

Courtland grabbed the memo pad.

Hey Court,

me and Ry will be back in a bit. Dunno when, but don't worry about us. We're not running away or anything. Just taking a break. We're taking the car. Sorry.

Love you

Colt :)

It was Colt's handwriting all right. There was no mistaking that familiar scribble, but even still, Court didn't feel right. All sorts of what-ifs were happening in his head, all sorts of scenarios.

What if they were attacked?

Taken?

The kidnappers took the car, told Colt to write a note, probably had to threaten him with hurting Ry to get him to actually write the damn thing.

His writing is rushed, scribbled horribly. More so than usual.

They're dead in a ditch somewhere and this is all they allowed you to have.

Someone took them.

Hurt them.

Courtland backed out of dialing the cops, because as much as his mind loved to immediately jump to conclusions, maybe there was no danger. Maybe Colt's scribble was written in haste to go somewhere, to take a well-deserved break. He clicked Colt's contact and pressed call.

Riiiiing. Riiiing.

Court's heart raced in his chest. The call ended abruptly. He frowned at his phone, trying again. It reached voicemail. So he had his phone and turned it off. Courtland tried Ryland's phone. Same result. It did nothing to quell the worry he felt, the bone deep feeling of wrong that taunted him. Visions of his brothers covered in blood in a random ditch off the highway flashed before his eyes.

No. There was no motive. They didn't have enemies like that. But then again, people are fucking crazy so who knows? It could've been someone close to them who knew how to access the house without making it look like a break-in. And oh God if that didn't make Court's already massive problem with trust skyrocket.

Courtland forced himself to breathe through it and actually think. Think, dammit.

They were good kids. They had been dealing with a lot with school lately, especially Ryland with all of his special classes and college prep. Colt had a horrible week, though he didn't say a word about it to anyone. Courtland could tell regardless. From the bags under Colt's eyes to the bruise on his forehead, and the way he sheepishly stood in the kitchen doorway asking him if he could borrow a spare pair of shoes for school the next day. His soles had broken.

They were good kids. Good. Sure, they were teenagers and Court could remember vividly how much anger and frustration he held at that age. But then again, they were also living a fucked up life at home, so his anger and fear was justified. But what made the twins up and take a road trip, then? Was it the shitty week they've had?

God, Courtland wished he could just up and leave for a few hours. Days, maybe. Colt didn't give him a definitive time frame as to when they'd return. He blew up their phones with messages anyway, knowing they wouldn't be read but still needing to send them anyway. They ranged from I'm so mad right now I'm gonna beat your asses when you get home to I love you guys, you know that, right?

So, Courtland resolved to play the long game. He'd wait twenty-four hours. Twenty-four hours, and if they weren't back by then, he was filing a missing persons report.

He stress-cleaned. He cleaned in crevices that probably hadn't been cleaned in years. Places he procrastinated for a long time simply because he was too tired to. He mopped the floors until the smell of soapy water became too much. He scrubbed the countertops. Hell, he even dusted the ceiling fans after having not done it for months.

He felt like he scrubbed the house top to bottom before finally letting himself relax. Relax meaning just sit on the couch and use the TV as background noise because he wasn't actually watching whatever reality TV slop was on. His mind was elsewhere, thinking about his younger brothers. The people he swore to protect.

Predictably, he got zero sleep. He stayed on the couch, stomach rumbling and throat itching for a drink but he couldn't move. He was stuck thinking himself in circles. Ditches, blood, trunks of cars (his car), bad people—

By the time five-thirty rolled around, Courtland had called his co-worker who he knew would be awake by then. His coworker, Miranda, who he trusted completely and talked about the twins with all the time. She would talk about her parents in return.

"Yeah, they're not me, they're better than me because at least they left you a note," she said with a sigh. He heard something ruffling. Like clothes. "I used to just ditch. Made my parents worried sick."

"They didn't tell me where they're going!"

"Good God, let them live a little. Look, I know you guys have… stuff from the past that make you co-dependent on each other, but you've got to let it go. Let them branch out and explore the world."

"But—"

"They're going to have to eventually. Why not let them do it now, when there's not much at stake, like a career?"

Courtland sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I worry because if I can't see them, how do I know they're safe?"

"You don't. That's when they call you and tell you something's wrong." The woman paused, a puff of air hitting the phone. "Do you not trust them at all?"

"What? Of course I do. They're good kids."

"Then why are you so worried? You're being a helicopter dad—"

"Brother—"

"—and what's gonna happen when they go off to college? You can't keep them cooped up in that house forever. They're gonna want to go out, see the world for themselves, not hear it from you in cautionary tales."

"I never told them cautionary tales."

"Shut up, yes you did. It's… it's part of growing up. They're not little kids anymore, Courtland. They're nearly adults. At least they're responsible by letting you know they'd be gone."

Courtland still couldn't ease the itch, the primal fear whenever the twins weren't where they were supposed to be when they were supposed to be there. It made him forget for a moment how he wielded his father's pistol and shot a piece of lead into his cranium. He looked at the clock. Nearly six AM.

"I'll give them until six and then I'm calling the cops."

Miranda sighed again. "Just don't yell at them when they get home. I bet they went away for a reason. They're entering that weird stage between leaving adolescence behind and joining adulthood. They have enough on their plate as is. Don't give them more to bear."

"I… won't," he promised. Maybe he should rant to Miranda more often. She had decent advice.

"Good. Now, should I tell Fitz you're not coming in today, or—"

Courtland perked up at the sight of headlights outside. He rushed to the window to peer through the blinds. His heart leapt to his throat. That was his car pulling into the driveway.

"—somehow you're his favorite, so he won't care, but I've gotta let him know before he blows a gasket—"

"I'll call you back," he said hurriedly.

"What? Are they back—?"

He didn't answer. He hung up and tossed his phone onto the couch, rushing to the garage door. He flung it open and stood in the doorway just as the twins emerged from the vehicle. Alive. Unharmed. Exhaustion clung to their shoulders much like how it clung to Courtland, but he didn't care. They were still breathing.

Ryland noticed him first, his entire body tensing. Colt noticed a moment later and stopped. Courtland scanned them for any injuries, finding none. They were barefoot, though, which was kind of weird. They blinked slowly at each other, a rush of emotions running through their gazes—from oh shit to something akin to grief—but Courtland didn't care. Miranda's words replayed in his head.

"Do you not trust them at all?"

Of course he did. He just worried, is all.

The silence was deafening. Courtland's fingers twitched.

He stalked forward.

The twins tensed.

He brought them into an embrace, holding the back of their heads. He felt them sigh in relief, breathing and alive. Alive. Courtland squeezed them and pulled away, inspecting their faces. Colt's eyes seemed heavier somehow, like he learned something that had him thinking. He could think himself in circles for hours much like how Ryland could think about his research project for days at a time. Colt was looking at him with… something. Knowingly? Sadly? His eyes were slightly glazed over, but Court thought it was just because of the exhaustion kicking in.

Ryland wasn't faring any better. He was openly crying, his hand coming up to cling to Court's sleeve.

"We're sorry, we didn't mean to—" he tried.

"Come inside," Court interrupted calmly, which only seemed to make the twins even more on edge. He ushered them inside and closed the garage door behind him.

He found his brothers sitting at the round dinner table, staring at the floor like they were in trouble. Courtland found the sight amusing, though he knew the twins weren't having a good time for some reason. He didn't understand why. They had gone on a little trip to decompress, right? So why did they come back with the weight of something on their shoulders. He remembered Miranda's words again. They went away for a reason, obviously, and based on their slouched posture, him yelling at them wouldn't do any good.

It would drive them away. Courtland never wanted that.

Colt's leg bounced incessantly. Ryland's finger tapped his thigh. Waiting.

Courtland sighed, and the twins' eyes were suddenly on him.

"I'm not mad," he started, "I get it. I um… I just wish you didn't turn of your phones. Scared me a bit."

Ryland wiped his glistening cheeks. "Sorry."

"Hey, don't apologize. Just…" Courtland crossed his arms, leaning against the counter. Deep breaths. They were safe. "I don't want you two to think you can't talk to me. About anything."

"You think we left 'cause—" Colt cut himself off, his heavy gaze resting on Court. "No. We know we can talk to you. We just… this week wasn't the best."

"I know." Courtland gestured to his forehead, snickering at the way Colt glared at him. He sobered quickly. "But whatever it is that's bothering you, you can come to me to talk about it. We're in this together, right? Family. I'll always be there for you. No matter what."

Confusion drew Courtland's brows together as both twins started crying, their sniffles striking a knife through his heart. Why did they look so sad? Did they feel that guilty for leaving? He felt like he was seven years old again trying to learn what cries from the infants were good and bad. It took months for him to learn that when Colt screeched, he was hungry, and when Ryland sobbed, he was just being fussy.

"Um I-I meant it, guys, I'm not mad! I promise! Shit, I wish I could've gone with you, you know? A road trip sounds fun. W-where did you guys go?" Court rambled, his confusion intensifying when Colt couldn't meet his eye and when Ryland buried his face in his hands. "What sights did you see? Why are you cry—oof!"

He had but two seconds to breathe before Colt rushed into another hug. Except when he went into it, he ran at Court like a linebacker, so his head rest against Court's abdomen. Colt squeezed the air out of him, and Courtland patted his back, wondering what the fuck happened on this trip that had his brothers a sobbing mess.

"Colt? Are you okay? Ry?" he asked worriedly, wondering if he missed an injury somewhere. He ran his hand through Colt's hair as he continued to cry, watching Ryland stumble from his chair to join his twin. Courtland hugged his brothers again, uncaring that their tears and snot were staining his shirt.

"We're f-fine," Ryland choked, hugging the eldest brother tighter.

"Then why all the tears?"

Colt buried his face into Courtland's shirt like he could mesh into one person. "We found…"

"Found what?"

"Your CD," Colt said as if it explained everything.

Courtland raised a brow, rubbing his brothers' backs. "Um, which one? I have a lot."

"The blank one in the back of the CD box," Ryland clarified with a hiccup.

Oh. The CD he'd burned a few years ago when he felt particularly helpless. His job was giving him less hours which was not what he needed because how else was he supposed to provide for his brothers? It was the period where Colt was starting to take interest in girls (which, Courtland thought was a little odd for a 7th grader, but who knows. He didn't have time to gawk at girls when he was Colt's age) and Ryland started delving heavily into science. Ryland wanted all these textbooks and Colt was being a little shit sometimes, poking Court's buttons just because he could.

He'd wondered a lot if it was a phase, much like how Ryland refused to eat food some nights when he was little. It caused Courtland many sleepless nights trying to get baby Ryland to eat after he woke himself up crying because of an empty stomach (whose fault was that, huh).

But he made that playlist because he found it somewhat therapeutic to listen to it on the ride home when it was just him and the open road. Courtland could turn his brain off for a minute and focus on something other than the bills or money or the twins. He could focus on how tired he felt, how he often wondered if there was anything else to life than work because at the moment, it didn't feel like it. He felt trapped. Trapped with work, spending hours away from home for money to provide for the two people he loved most, only to come home and have to clean up the house. Cook for two very hungry, growing boys, and God knows that cost a pretty penny to keep them fed and satisfied.

He never felt like he had time for himself. Not for a minute because as soon as he'd start to relax, something would happen. The power would flicker, the car would break down, something. Something was always out to get him and he didn't understand what he did to deserve such treatment from the world. It had already beaten him down for years before he finally took matters into his own hands, and even after the main instigator was gone, life continued to leave him battered, bruised. Tired.

He made that playlist in secret, hoping the twins wouldn't find his CD box interesting enough to go through the entire thing. He made it because it was his little secret, his slice of therapy he got to indulge on whenever he had minutes of "me time" on the drive to and from work. He had hoped the twins wouldn't find it. It held remnants of a time where he wondered how much better off the twins would've been if the jury didn't take pity on him and let him keep his brothers.

How much of a better life someone else could've provided for them.

"Oh."

It was all he could muster. But looking down at them, seeing them cling to him, their odd looks made sense. He still didn't know why they were crying so much if it was about the CD. Of course, they had to have listened to it, but why was it making them so upset?

All he knew was that Court's back would be sore in the morning if he kept leaning against the counter with the weight of two grown teenagers resting on him. He started shuffling, holding onto his brothers as he maneuvered them into the living room. Courtland sat on the middle couch cushion, letting the twins take the cushions on either side of him. Colt immediately latched back onto him, holding his arm and burying his face in his shoulder. Ryland held his other arm in place, though he mustered the courage to look Court in the eye.

"We got curious and—" Ryland sniffled, wiping his eyes with his free hand "—we listened to it and it just… you tell us we can talk to you about anything, but why don't you think the same about us?"

Court's mouth suddenly felt dry. "I-I do. I know I can talk to you guys."

"Then why is that CD in there?"

"It… It was made when I wasn't in a good headspace. Years ago. Now that you're older, I can talk about it, but how would you have felt as a seventh grader if I came up to you and told you how the world kept beating me down?"

Ryland's eyes fluttered about, determined. "I dunno. But I would've tried to help you."

"That's not your responsibility."

Colt's fingers dug into his arm. "So what? You've just been carrying that weight for years?"

"I mean, I don't feel that bad now," Courtland tried sheepishly. He truly didn't. He felt so much better with Fitz in charge at his job, at how much better his pay was. How he was secretly saving up for a family vacation for their graduation in a year. How he got to watch his brothers grow up and be the best people they could be. "I haven't listened to that disc in a while. Why does it bother you so much?"

"It just… we talked a lot and hearing it hit us harder than we thought," Ryland explained vaguely. "We were so busy thinking about ourselves that we didn't think about where you'd be."

"Where I'd be?" he repeated dumbly. What the hell was he talking about?

"When we graduate."

Courtland glanced at his brothers, finding equal pensive expressions staring back at him. He brushed the hair back from their foreheads. Colt's was getting longer than he usually liked it to be. He made a mental note to schedule a haircut.

"Is that what this is about?" he asked gently. "You're… you're scared of graduation?"

"Yes. No. I don't know. It's complicated," Colt huffed.

"We've been thinking about the future. Where we're going to end up and we saw all these scenarios where we couldn't visit anymore, or we lived hundreds of miles away from each other and—" Ryland rambled.

"Hey, they're called scenarios for a reason. They're not real. They're things that could potentially happen but are highly unlikely." Courtland flicked their foreheads, smiling at their glares. "The future isn't set in stone. We don't know what could happen."

"That's scarier," Colt muttered.

"Yeah… it is. It is, but you have to realize that no matter what, we're always going to be family. Nothing's gonna tear us apart. The future can try. College can try. But there's no reason to be scared of a future that promises success. Love. I want that for you two, and I'm not going to let you pass on those opportunities. I'm gonna push you whether you like it or not because I just want what's best for you."

"But what about you?"

"What about me?"

"If—when—we leave, what are you gonna do?" Ryland said with grief-stricken eyes.

Courtland bit his tongue, considering. Where would he end up?

Well. He had no clue.

He basically devoted his life to taking care of his brothers thus far and he's succeeded in that. So when they leave the house, what will he do? Call and pester them every day for sure. What will he do with an empty house? Watch TV? Eat shitty takeout? Maybe actually pick up a hobby?

He understood where the twins were coming from now in their concerns. Graduation was a year away. He had a year to prepare himself for the emptiness that was bound to fill his chest with their absences. Of course, they didn't have to move out immediately. Courtland would take as much time as he could get with them before they moved on to be productive members of society. He had a year to come up with a plan for himself other than work.

He wasn't a very sociable person, either. He built a good rapport with their neighbors, sure, but what was he supposed to do with them? Hold a barbeque?

What would he do?

Courtland blinked, and the twins were still staring at him. He managed a smile, shaking his head. "We'll cross that bridge when we get there."

"Court—" Colt tried.

"Stop worrying so much, okay? These things are far away. We've got time. I say we eat some shitty Eggos and go to bed because I'm hungry and tired and I have a feeling you are, too."

Ryland and Colt shared another look. After basically raising them, Courtland could read it.

We're talking about this later whether he likes it or not.

Courtland rolled his eyes and ruffled their hair as he stood. "Waffles," he called.

"But—"

"Talk about existential crisis after we've had fifteen hours of sleep."

The twins couldn't argue with that. They toasted a whole box of Eggos, the twins sharing a snicker when Courtland accidentally touched the top of the toaster and burnt his finger. They didn't talk much as they ate. The rollercoaster of emotions Courtland had been put through over the last twenty-four hours had left him feeling wrung out like a dish rag. All he wanted to do was curl up in bed and be dead to the world for a good ten hours at most. These damn kids were giving him gray hairs for sure. He was nearing thirty. It was way too early for that.

Once the waffles were gone and bellies were full, Courtland made sure all the doors and windows were locked before trudging down the hallway to his bedroom. He peeked in the twins' room only to find it empty. He shrugged, figuring they were still in the kitchen grabbing some water or something. He entered his room.

The twins, instead of occupying their own beds, decided to claim his for themselves. Granted, it was a king size bed that came with the house, but still. It was Court's bed. For Court.

Court sighed. "Guys."

They pretended not to hear him, pretended to sleep. Courtland could see Ryland trying and failing to suppress a smile.

"You have your own beds, you know."

Colt grumbled something under his breath before sighing. "Don't care. Yours is bigger."

"Better," Ryland agreed as he stuffed his face into the sheets. He'd already folded his glasses and put them on the nightstand, right beside Courtland's clock.

He sighed again, knowing that once both twins had their mind set on something, they wouldn't relent. He made sure the curtains were closed as the morning sun started peeking through before he jumped onto the center of the mattress, jostling the twins a bit.

"Woah—" Ryland blurted.

"Dude! Trying to sleep here!" Colt admonished with a smile.

Courtland got under the covers. "This is my bed, I'm sleeping right here."

"You never did like to share."

"Wow. As if I haven't shared everything with you two since you were born."

"So dramatic," Ryland huffed half-heartedly as he scooted over to make more room for Court.

"You're the drama queens. Go to bed."

"Bossy," Colt muttered. He turned onto his side, back facing Court as he got comfortable.

It was a bit odd. A few days ago, the twins were acting like they normally did: a few hugs here and there (not rare, but not given out often, either), good-natured jokes, asking questions if Court could take them to the library in a few days or whatever. Happy, bright. Now, they were sharing a bed like they were little again, huddling together in the dark to watch out for each other in case the monster emerged from down the hall.

The only monster they faced was time. It sought destruction, to separate them. It went too fast and too slow at the same time, always pushing and pulling Courtland, teasing him by making the twins grow up in the blink of an eye. Suddenly, graduation wasn't ten years away, but one. Miranda was right. They weren't little kids anymore, no matter how much Courtland's mind insisted they were.

He'd take whatever time allowed them to have before it ripped his brothers from his grasp forever.

At least sleep came fast, the two bodies already snoring beside him sending a wave of calm through him after the day he's had.

The future was uncertain, but at least he had them for now.