Chapter Text
Goose in the Cat‑Iron SuitTony Stark has seen many things in his life.
Aliens. Gods. Time travel.
But nothing — nothing — prepared him for the sight of Goose waddling into the workshop wearing a fully functional, custom‑built, red‑and‑gold Iron Cat suit.The suit is sleek, adorable, and somehow more intimidating than the Hulk.Goose doesn’t even look at Tony.
She just marches over, circles twice, and curls up directly on his boots.
Tony stares down at her.
“Are you… comfortable?”
Goose: "mrrrp".Carol walks in, sees the scene, and immediately covers her mouth to hide a laugh.
“Tony… did you make her armor?”
Tony gestures helplessly.
“She insisted! She sat on the blueprints until I agreed!”Goose shifts slightly, metal plating clicking softly, and settles deeper against Tony’s feet like a cat‑shaped paperweight with repulsors.
Then she closes her eyes.Thor enters next, cape swishing.
“Stark, is the creature… preparing for battle?”Tony: “No. She’s napping.”Thor: “In armor?”Tony: “She said — and I quote — wake me when Thanos gets here.”Thor blinks.
“Did she speak?”
Tony sighs.
“No. But she looked at me. You know the look.”Carol nods.
“Oh yeah. The ‘I’m busy, human’ look.”Clint arrives, sees Goose asleep in the Iron Cat suit, and immediately collapses into hysterical laughter.
He laughs so hard he slides down the wall, wheezing, pointing at Goose like he’s witnessing the funniest cosmic event of his life.Natasha steps over him.
“Leave him. He’s fine.”
Goose doesn’t stir.
Not even when her suit emits a tiny power‑saving mode activated chime.Tony gently nudges her with his toe.
“Goose… you know Thanos is a Titan, right? Big guy. Very purple.”Goose opens one eye.mrrrp.Tony nods.
“Right. Wake you when he gets here.”Carol leans in.
“You do realize she’s going to handle the whole battle?"
Tony: “I’m counting on it.”
Thor: “Should we prepare?”
Tony gestures at Goose.
“She’s already prepared.”Goose shifts again, repulsors humming softly, and goes right back to sleep — a cosmic guardian taking a pre‑battle power nap while the Avengers stand around like anxious parents waiting for the real adult to wake up.
Chapter — Goose Wakes Up, Launches, and Terrifies the Big Purple Grape
The battlefield is chaos.
Explosions. Lightning. Dramatic Avengers poses.
And right in the middle of it all, Goose is still asleep in her Iron Cat suit, curled up at Tony’s feet like a repulsor‑powered paperweight.
Tony nudges her gently.
“Goose… hey… Goose… wake‑up‑time. The purple grape is here.”Goose opens one eye.mrrrp.Tony crouches.
“Okay, listen. We need a plan. A strategy. A coordinated—”Goose stands, stretches, and activates the suit.
Repulsors hum.
Metal plates shift.
Her whiskers glow with tiny arc‑reactor energy.Tony freezes.
“Oh no. She’s in autonomous mode.”
Carol, hovering overhead:
“Tony, she’s barely awake.”
Tony:
“Exactly! Half‑asleep Goose is the most dangerous Goose!”Clint, still recovering from earlier laughter, wheezes:
“She’s gonna— she’s gonna— blast off—”And she does.Goose launches straight into the air with a FWOOOM, spiraling like a tiny, furious comet. The Iron Cat suit stabilizes her mid‑spin, and she hovers with the confidence of someone who knows she owns the battlefield.
Thor gasps.
“She flies!”
Tony:
“She hovers! She glides! She does whatever she wants!”
Goose surveys the battlefield with sleepy cosmic disdain.Then she sees Thanos.Thanos stops mid‑stride.
His eyes widen.
He looks genuinely offended.“What… is that?”
she owns the battlefield.
Carol lands beside Tony.
“Oh, he’s not ready.”Tony cups his hands around his mouth.
“GOOSE! TARGET: PURPLE GRAPE!”Goose tilts her head.
mrrrp.Then she rockets forward.Thanos barely has time to raise the gauntlet before Goose slams into his chest with the force of a tiny armored meteor. The impact sends him skidding backwards across the ground, carving a trench as he goes.Thanos roars, staggering to his feet.
“You dare—”
Goose hovers inches from his face.
"mrrrp"
Thanos flinches.Tony shouts from the sidelines:
“Goose, sweetheart, remember the plan! We talked about this! No swallowing until we confirm the battlefield perimeter!”Goose ignores him completely.A tentacle bursts from the Iron Cat suit’s underside — Tony screams because he did NOT design that — and Goose grabs Thanos by the ankle.
Thanos:
“NO—”
Goose:
mrrrrrrrrp.
And she yanks him off his feet, dragging him across the battlefield like a cosmic mop.Clint collapses laughing again.
Natasha steps over him.
Thor cheers.
Carol wipes tears from her eyes.Tony throws his hands up.
“Why do I even try to negotiate with her?! She doesn’t listen! She doesn’t care! She’s a cosmic toddler with a jetpack!”
Goose finally stops, drops Thanos, and hovers above him, eyes glowing with sleepy star‑energy. Thanos whispers, terrified:
“What… are you?”
Goose opens her mouth.Tony screams:
“GOOSE, NO—”GULP.Thanos is gone.
Thor cheers.
Carol wipes tears from her eyes.
Clint is happily unconscious
Goose lands, curls up, and immediately goes back to sleep — Iron Cat suit powering down with a soft ding.Tony sighs, sits beside her, and pats her helmet gently.
“Okay. Fine. You win. You always win.”
Carol:
“She told you to wake her when Thanos arrived.”
Tony:
“And she handled it in under thirty seconds.”
Clint, still on the ground:
“Best. Battle. Ever.”
Goose hacks up the infinity stones like a hairball
(Clint Has a Headache Edition)
The battlefield is quiet.
Thanos is gone.
Goose is curled up in her Iron Cat suit, purring like a tiny cosmic engine.Tony sits beside her, rubbing his temples.
Carol hovers overhead, amused.
Thor stands reverently.
Natasha is unimpressed.
Clint is sitting on the ground, elbows on knees, head in his hands.“Guys,” he mutters, “my skull is ringing. Please… no more cosmic surprises.”Tony opens his mouth to reassure him.Then Goose sits up.Tony freezes.
“Oh no. Oh no. She’s doing the thing.”Carol:
“What thing?”
Tony whispers:
“The hairball thing.”Goose opens her mouth.
Hrrk.
Hrrrk.
HRRRRRK—
Clint lifts his head, eyes wide with dread.
“She’s— she’s— gonna— hack up the Stones— and I have a migraine— Tony, make her stop—”
Tony:
“I can’t! She doesn’t listen to me!”Thor panics.
“Is she perishing?!”Natasha:
“No, she’s rebooting.”
And then Goose unleashes the cosmic equivalent of a furball:
HHHRRRRRK—PLOP.
The Infinity Stones shoot out of her mouth like glowing marbles, bouncing across the ground with tiny plink‑plink‑plink noises.
Clint groans, covering his ears.
“Oh god… they’re loud… why are they loud…?”
Carol is laughing so hard she’s floating crooked.
“She spit out the universe.”
"Meow...purrr"
Tony picks up the Time Stone between two fingers.
“Okay. First of all: ew.”Thor kneels reverently.
“The sacred relics of creation… expelled like a hairball.”Clint squints at the Stones, wincing.
“Can someone… put those in a box… or a sock drawer… or anywhere that isn’t making noise near my head?”
Goose looks at him, unimpressed.mrrrp.Clint throws his hands up.
“Don’t ‘mrrrp’ at me! I’m fragile!”Tony pats Clint’s shoulder.
“She’s not judging you. She’s judging all of us.”Goose curls back up, clearly relieved to have expelled the cosmic blockage.
Clint rubs his temples.
“I swear… next time she swallows the universe, I’m wearing noise‑canceling headphones.”Natasha:
“You should wear them anyway.”Thor nods solemnly.
“A wise precaution.”Tony sighs.
“Okay. Stones are out. Goose is happy. Clint is alive. Mostly.”
Goose closes her eyes and goes back to sleep, Iron Cat suit humming softly like a satisfied cosmic toaster.
TBC Please be patient
1. I need sleep
2. Im yawning
The Infinity Stones Adopt Tony, Goose Gets Jealous, and Thanos Is Abandoned
The Infinity Stones Adopt Tony Stark
The Infinity Stones lie scattered across the ground, still glistening from Goose’s cosmic hairball expulsion.
Tony crouches, picking up the Space Stone like it’s a weird glowing Lego.
The Reality Stone rolls toward him.
The Mind Stone hops into his palm.
The Power Stone floats up and settles on his shoulder like a very dangerous parrot.Carol bursts out laughing.
“Oh no. They’re imprinting on you.”Tony:
“No. No cosmic adoption. I can barely handle Goose.”
The Time Stone projects a tiny hologram of Tony looking confused.Tony:
“Stop that. Stop showing me my own confusion.”
Thor bows deeply.
“Stark… they have chosen you.”Clint, nursing his headache:
“Congrats, Tony. You’re a cosmic dad now. I need aspirin.”
Natasha:
“You’re going to need more than aspirin.”The Soul Stone floats up, boops Tony on the forehead, and emits a soft ding like it’s claiming him.
Tony throws his hands up.
“NO. I am not the Father of Infinity.”Thor:
“You are.”Carol:
“You absolutely are.”
Goose opens one eye.mrrrp.Tony translates instantly.
“She says: ‘Accept your fate.’”The Stones glow brighter, orbiting him like six hyperactive cosmic toddlers.Tony sits down, defeated.
“Fine. But I’m not doing bedtime stories.”
The Time Stone projects Tony reading a bedtime story.
Tony:
“STOP THAT.”
Goose Gets Jealous of the Stones’ Attention:
Goose stands, stretches, and pads over in her Iron Cat suit, repulsors humming.She sees the Stones orbiting Tony.Her eyes narrow.mrrrrrp.Carol whispers, delighted:
“Oh my god… she’s jealous.”Tony:
“Goose, sweetheart, they’re not replacing you.”
Goose flicks her tail.
mrrrp.The Power Stone drifts closer to Tony’s cheek.Goose hisses.A tentacle bursts out of the Iron Cat suit — Tony screams because he did NOT design that — and Goose gently but firmly pushes the Power Stone away from Tony like a cat swatting a rival off her human’s lap.
Clint winces.
“Guys… she’s guarding him. I can’t handle this with a headache.”Natasha:
“She’s claiming her territory.”Thor nods solemnly.
“A cosmic bond is sacred.”
The Stones hover nervously.Goose sits directly on Tony’s foot, curls up, and stares at the Stones like she’s daring them to try again.Tony sighs.
“Great. I’m a cosmic dad with a jealous flerken.”
Carol:
“You’re doing amazing.”
Thanos Reacts Inside Goose’s Stomach Dimension When the Stones Abandon Him
Inside Goose’s stomach dimension, Thanos sits in a glowing void, surrounded by:A stolen S.H.I.E.L.D. staplerThree of Tony’s prototypesA cosmic squirrelA confused ChitauriAnd the oldest thing Goose ever swallowed, a tiny ancient star‑being who calls him “grape man”Thanos paces, furious.
“They will come for me. The Stones will return to their rightful master.”
The ancient star‑being snorts.
“They left you.”Thanos:
“They would never abandon me.”Then the void flickers.
A tiny hologram appears:
The Time Stone, projecting Tony Stark being adopted by the Stones.
Thanos freezes.“…No.”The ancient star‑being pats his knee.
“They chose the metal man.”
Thanos roars.
“I AM INEVITABLE!”The star‑being shrugs.
“Not to them.”The void flickers again — this time showing Goose swatting the Power Stone away from Tony.
Thanos screams.
“THEY LEFT ME FOR A HUMAN AND A CAT?!”The cosmic squirrel nods sympathetically.The star‑being sighs.
“Welcome to abandonment, grape.”
Thanos collapses to his knees, defeated.
Tony Tries to Set Boundaries with the Infinity Stones
The Infinity Stones orbit Tony like six glowing cosmic toddlers who have decided he is their emotional support human.Tony rubs his temples.
“Okay. Ground rules. Rule one: no hovering near my face.”The Mind Stone immediately hovers near his face.Tony:
“NO. That’s exactly what I said not to do.”The Space Stone teleports onto his shoulder.
Tony:
“Off. Off my shoulder. I am not a perch.”The Power Stone vibrates proudly.Carol floats down, laughing.
“They’re not listening.”Tony:
“They have to listen. I’m their— I don’t know — cosmic dad or whatever.”The Time Stone projects a hologram of Tony saying “I’m their cosmic dad.”
Tony:
“STOP RECORDING ME.”Clint, still nursing his headache:
“Tony… they’re Infinity Stones. They don’t do boundaries.”Natasha:
“They barely do physics.”Thor bows.
“Father of Infinity, your children are spirited.”
Tony:
“Thor, I swear to god—”The Soul Stone boops him on the forehead again.Tony:
“NO BOOPING.”
Goose hisses jumping into Tony's lap and she glares at the infinity stones/children
"Goose sweetheart I promise you are my favourite" Tony pets her making her purr
Tony keeps petting her, voice gentle.
“You’re my girl. You’re my number one. They’re just… cosmic marbles with attachment issues.”Goose purrs louder.The Reality Stone tries to inch closer.Goose lifts her head and hisses again.The Stones retreat instantly.Tony sighs, smiling.
“See? They know. You’re the boss.”Goose settles deeper into his lap, eyes half‑closed, purr rumbling like a tiny star engine.
Tony wraps an arm around her, accepting his fate as both cosmic dad and flerken favourite.
Thanos Gets Schooled by the Flerken Stomach Dimension
Inside Goose’s stomach dimension, Thanos is having the worst day of his cosmic life.He stands in a glowing void filled with:Tony’s prototypes all blinking at him like judgmental appliances
A cosmic squirrel — who keeps throwing nuts at his headA confused Chitauri — who has accepted his fate
A stolen S.H.I.E.L.D. stapler — clicking
ominouslyThe ancient star‑being — Goose’s oldest swallowed resident, who calls Thanos “grape man”Thanos paces, furious. “I am Thanos. I am inevitable. I will escape this… this… feline prison!”The ancient star‑being doesn’t even look up.
“You’re in a flerken’s stomach dimension. Nothing about you is inevitable.”Thanos roars and charges at the glowing boundary of the dimension.He bounces off it like a rubber ball.The cosmic squirrel claps.
Thanos tries again.Bounce.Again.Bounce.The Chitauri winces.
“Sir… maybe stop.”Thanos snarls.
“The Infinity Stones will return to me! They will free me!”The void flickers. A hologram appears:
The Stones orbiting Tony, booping him, imprinting on him, and ignoring Thanos entirely.Thanos freezes.“…They adopted the human.”The star‑being pats his knee.
“They abandoned the large purple grape.”Thanos collapses to his knees.
“No… no… they were mine…”
The Ancient Star‑Being Schools Thanos
Thanos sits in Goose’s stomach dimension, sulking like a cosmic toddler denied dessert.
He has tried charging the boundary.
He has tried yelling at the void.
He has tried threatening the cosmic squirrel.Nothing works.
The ancient star‑being — tiny, glowing, older than galaxies — watches him with the patience of someone who has seen countless idiots make the same mistakes.Thanos growls, fists clenched.
“The Infinity Stones were MINE. They will return to me. They always return to their rightful master.”The star‑being tuts loudly.“Haven’t you learned anything? The Infinity Stones choose their champion, and it’s always going to be the person who puts the universe first.”
Thanos freezes.“What?”The star‑being floats closer, hands behind his back like a cosmic schoolteacher.
“You wanted to control the universe. Bend it. Break it. Snap it. That’s not devotion. That’s ego.”The cosmic squirrel nods, offering Thanos a nut again.Thanos swats it away.The star‑being continues, voice calm but sharp:
“The Stones don’t choose tyrants. They choose protectors. They choose the ones who carry the weight of the universe even when it hurts.”A hologram flickers in the void — the Time Stone projecting Tony Stark gently petting Goose, surrounded by the Stones orbiting him like cosmic children.Thanos stares, horrified. "They chose him my greatest enemy"
The star‑being shrugs.
“He puts the universe first. Even when it breaks him. Even when it costs him. Even when he’s exhausted, overwhelmed, and covered in flerken fur.”The squirrel throws another nut.Thanos catches it this time.The star‑being smiles.
“See? You’re learning.”Thanos crushes the nut in his fist.
“I AM NOT LEARNING.”The star‑being sighs.
“You’re in a stomach dimension, grape man. Learning is your only hobby now.”
Thanos screams into the void.The void — Goose’s stomach — responds with a distant, annoyed mrrrrrp.The star‑being translates:
“She says: ‘Stop yelling.’”Thanos sits down.He doesn’t know why.
He just does.
Epilogue — Goose vs. Thanos: EndgameThe battlefield is quiet now.The sky has cleared.
The dust has settled.
The Avengers stand in a loose circle, exhausted, confused, and trying to process the fact that the universe was saved by a sleepy flerken in a cat‑sized Iron Man suit.Goose is curled in Tony’s lap, purring like a tiny cosmic engine.
Tony strokes her head gently, whispering, “You’re my favourite, sweetheart.”
Goose glares at the Infinity Stones until they back off like scolded toddlers.Carol floats nearby, arms crossed, smiling.
“She really did all the work.”Thor nods reverently.
“The flerken is mighty.”Natasha:
“She’s terrifying.”
Clint, still nursing his headache:
“She’s loud.”The Infinity Stones hover in a respectful orbit around Tony — not too close, not too far — like cosmic children who have learned that Goose is the parent they should fear.Tony sighs.
“Okay. New rule: Stones stay at least one foot away from Goose unless she says otherwise.”
The Stones glow in agreement.Goose flicks her tail, satisfied.
The end ....possibly
Tony survived Clint and Natasha become his closest friends plus thor and carol, Rogers decides to retire permanently after learning his lesson about friendship and betrayal. James Barnes becomes the new Captain America but without the ego.
Clint and Natasha and Laura and the mini agents protect Tony from assholes.
Now thats the ending I wanted in Endgame
...
The Infinity Stones agree they are remaining in Tony’s custody. Protected custody