Chapter Text
" We need to have a talk. "
Suddenly, his stomach twisted into sick knots.
" About what? " It'll take about 20 minutes to get back home, so this will take a while. He just wished it wasn't anything bad. Maybe education? He never fumbled on that one.
" Church. You didn't go to the meeting last Thursday, because you locked yourself in your room. " He sighed, grip on the steering wheel slightly tensed.
Eggchan hugged his bag, this feels.. like it's happened before.
" Explain yourself. " His tone was stern, he didn't seem.. mad, though.
" I.. I was, a bit busy and I might've forgotten about it. I had to study some things— "
Smack!
Oh no, he didn't smack Egg, he smacked the steering wheel, thankfully.
It still made him flinch, though. He didn't like sudden, loud noises.
" Don't lie to me, Eggchan. I can tell when you are. " His voice was laced with rising anger, Egg didn't really want to deal with an angry father right now.
" I'm sorry, dad. I.. I just fell asleep, that's all. "
" How many times do I have to tell you.. do NOT lie to me! " Focused on the road, yet his anger's on Eggchan.
Egg winced, and sulked against the backrest of the chair. It's meant to be soft and comfortable, so why does he want to throw himself out of the car?
They stopped by a gas station, parking nearby.
" Look, I just want the truth, Egg. " His tone softened, is he.. perhaps, giving him a chance?
" We won't go home until you tell me. "
Oh, nevermind.
" Dad, I'm telling the truth. I really just fell asleep. "
" I'm not taking that, you were not asleep. "
Eggchan head wings twitched, tensing up as they ruffle around slightly. They're uncomfortable, the feathers felt dense against his hair.
" Are you even listening to me? I just want to understand why you didn't go. " He crossed his arms and looked at his son, up and down.
" I'm sorry, dad.. uhm.. " He didn't know what to say, he didn't have any excuse to save himself.
What? He can't tell his dad that he just relapsed last Thursday, that's nuts!
" I'm going to count to five, and if you don't tell me by then, I will force it out of you myself. "
That wouldn't end good.
He didn't like it when his father counts.
It either ended up with him bruised or isolated in an empty room.
" One. "
What does he say? He doesn't know!
" Two. "
The only excuse he had in mind is that, he fell asleep, or.. that he— was busy studying. He'd already used both excuses.
" Three. "
Two more counts 'til five.
He felt the blood rush faster in his veins, his head wings flapped pathetically as if to signify his fear. Goosebumps crept up his skin, even up to his hair, he could feel the creeps.
" Four. "
His left arm suddenly felt numb, is this it? Should be really tell him? No, he can't! That's a sin, and if he discovers that.. he does that— thing— he'll be sent to counselling forever, and.. and..
He'll be with that guy again, and he doesn't want to, he can't, he can't!
" Five. "
This is it. He's flooded with overthinking, thoughts clouding his judgement as tears swelled up in the corners of his eyes, sweat formed on his forehead as he let out a quiet wince.
" Damn it, Eggchan. Fine! We're doing this the hard way. Give me your hand! "
What?
" No! "
..
Oh, that came out before he could think
" .. Did you just raise your voice at me? "
The air felt electrified. His father's wings spread out, puffing with aggression as his eyes glowed a bright blue. A threat.
" .. Dad, I— wait, I didn't mean to— "
" Give me your hand. Now. "
He knew what his father will do, get something— like a small ruler or just something long, and slap his wrist with it.
It's a common punishment he had since he was young.
He held both arms near, afraid of showing them.
.. wait, his right arm..
His right arm is clear, so if he just—
Why is he so scared?
Before he could think further, he felt a strong grip rip his left arm from the comfort of his own chest.
He yelped and struggled, only for it to be in vain. His father held his wrist, he winced. His wrist was still bandaged, the wounds were quite deep.. they haven't recovered yet.
Unfortunately for Eggchan, his father noticed this.
" .. What's wrong? Why did you- " Egg tried to pull away, but his grip was far too strong.
" Eggchan. Stop it. This is what you get for not telling me anything. I just want you to explain and you don't give me an answer! "
" Stop it, dad! You're hurting me! " He finally succeeded into pulling away.
His father, shocked by his audacity to scream at him— his gaze darkened.
" Your mother will hear about this. "
And they drove off.
...
His throat feels knotted
His chest feels tight
His eyes filled with tears that threaten to spill
...
He needs something.
...
Something....
Maybe he'll draw once he gets home.. to calm himself down.
That's the plan, when they get home, immediately rush to his room and lock it.
He felt his surroundings numb, deafened, his vision blurred. It was as if his mind locked everything out just for him to think.
What is there to think of?
..
They came to a full stop.
He snapped out of his dazed state and quickly opened the door, dragging his bag with him.
" !?- Eggchan, you— come back here! "
Ignoring his dad's angry cry, he stormed in the house.
Slamming the main door closed, alarming his mother.
" Eggchan, what was that? " His mother, though not really mad about it, was still annoyed by the loud bang of the door.
He ignored her.
Went straight for his room.
Once he got in, he locked the door.
Back against the door, he sat.
Finally, his tears fell free.
He sobbed quietly, muffling them as to not alarm his parents— and possibly anger them. He didn't want that, no.
He could hear his father screaming for him, and his mother trying to calm him down. This was a rare occurrence. Normally, his mother was the one who's angry at him and her husband was the one to calm her down.
It's scary, when he's mad.
His thoughts were full of fear, and worry, and.. more things he'd prefer not to say—
He didn't even realize that minutes have passed.
A knock sounded from the door he leaned against,
" Eggchan? Eggchan. "
Oh, mom.
She tried to turn the knob, it's locked.
" Why is it locked— Eggchan, I thought I told you to never lock your door! "
He winced, standing from the floor, holding his bag with a tight grip, as if letting go would break his sense of reality. He needed something to cling on.
" Tsk, whatever.. your father is angry, but you need to come down and eat. "
And almost immediately—
" I'm not hungry, mom. "
He hasn't eaten lunch, so why did he say that?
" .. what? No, you are coming down to eat, young man. "
He doesn't want to.
So, he doesn't reply.
" Eggchan. "
He stood still, firm. He doesn't want to eat.
" Eggchan! "
He feels like a stubborn kid.
..
Maybe he is as immature as a kid, right now.
" Damn it, you— ugh. " She sighed, Eggchan can almost visualise her pinching the bridge of her nose.
" Whatever. You don't want to eat? Fine. "
Oh, finally.. maybe.. peace and quiet for him? He doesn't really want to see them right now—
" Go starve to death. Ungrateful kid. "
Oh.
Her footsteps sounded through the hallways, and faded as she headed downstairs. He heard her complaints to her husband, which voiced back.
The longer he stood there, the longer everything was muffled out.
This was too much for him.
Yet, at the same time, it was nothing.
He felt a mix of emotions, and then nothing— then it spiked back.
The tears fell again, this time, he sat on the foot of his bed. The mattress felt welcoming as he sat, soft and comfortable.
Unfortunately, he wasn't in the mood to lay down yet.
He's too bummed out to do so.
..
For one, he felt confused
Then the next, he felt upset, sad.
So sad, his head wings curled up, making it uncomfortable as he felt the feathers more than he's ever did, before.
So sad, that tears spilled without reason.
Okay, maybe he had a reason.
His parents.
..
‘ Starve to death. ’
That didn't sound too bad..
Maybe, as punishment for being a bad kid, he won't eat.
Won't eat.. maybe.. forever, and—
Oh, damn it. He's overreacting, again.
He needs to calm down.
He needs to wash his face.
He put his bag down on the bed and headed to the bathroom, swinging it open gently as he entered.
He went to the sink, putting his hand under the faucet— it's a motion sensor faucet.
It ran water, he caught some with his hands and he washed his face.
Pushing his hair aside, some still falling and sticking to his forehead.
Hands onto the sink's sides, he stared up at the mirror.
Gosh, he looked horrible. He never noticed the eye bags under his eyes or the droopy vibe his eyes gave.
Good thing he didn't really show anyone his eyes..
His gaze moved from his reflection, down to the faucet, then at—
..
Why is it here?
...
I thought I hid it away.
The small blade reflected the light from the lightbulb.
He gulped
It was tempting him.
What?
It's tempting him to break something he'd established far too long ago.
...
He grabbed it, immediately giving in to the temptation of a bitter-sweet lie.
Just one more.
One more time.
...
He'll quit tomorrow.
...
Just one.. more time.
He lifted the sleeve of his left arm up, revealing the still-healing wounds.
They were bruised with purple, he didn't know cuts could bruise—
..
He gulped, once again. Making the blade lean onto his skin in an angle, like he did last time. Onto an empty space.
Slice
He found it difficult to cut on his wrist, they were full of old scars or healing ones.
So he moved up, where there's more space.
...
It won't hurt
Just..
One more cut.
The blade kissed his skin with such gentleness, yet when he cut— it was fast and he pressed hard. The harsh swipe immediately opening the skin, revealing the white of the dermis— filling with red.
The sight of it just..
Makes him feel warm.
Fuzzy.
Happy.
So he kept doing it.
The blood dripped onto the sink, he didn't bother washing, he'll do it later.
After drawing on his skin for a few.. minutes, he'd felt satisfied with the sting.
It made him feel happy, calm.
‘ Egg? ’
’ Yeah, bro? ’
’ Please don't do it again, okay? ’
Wemmbu sighed, holding Eggchan's bandaged wrist.
’ I won't. ’
’ Promise? ’
’ I promise. ’
He shook his head
Oh, he forgot about the promise.
The promise he'd broken twice. He felt guilty.
A pang of sadness in his chest stirred up once more, but a part of him told him that it's worth it— that Wemmbu would understand.
He will, right?
.. of course
Wemmbu has always been the chaotic, yet understanding best friend.
A few more seconds of staring off into the void, the pain finally made itself known.
He hissed slightly, letting the faucet run water again. This time, he washed his wounds. Then, pulling out the medkit from the drawer, cleaning the scars that still bled and bandaging them with experience.
He's done this multiple times, already. It was almost pitiful.
After carefully patching himself up, he looked at the contents of the medkit.
One gauze pad, few alcohol wipes, a thin amount of a bandage roll, no more cotton balls or cotton swipes— and an antibiotic ointment that he barely used.
So..
In short, he's running out.
He might need to go to the pharmacy to restock his medkit.
He looked down on the sink, though he washed his wrist.. there were still blood on it.
So what more to do than to clean the sink, right?
Very simple, just rub the sink's surface with the water, and then..
It's crystal clean! You know, because, the usual phrase is ‘crystal clear’—.. okay, that was bad..
Anyways.
After cleaning the sink and putting the medkit back into where he pulled it from, and throwing small pieces of trash away..
He stared at the razor, once again.
It's staring back at him like some sort of allurement.
He shook his head, he's done with it for now
and he hid it away, in the drawer.
Leave it on the sink so you can access it easily!
He left the bathroom, closing the door with a gentle click. Looking at his room, he seemed a bit.. out of it? Maybe it's the after effects.
He found himself on the bed, oh! He didn't even realize it.
The strain of a bad day left his body when he melted into the soft mattress. Tucking himself under the blanket, comfort finally deciding it's time to rest.
Wait, did he eat yet..?
.. he didn't?
That's fine, he's not hungry!
Ding!
A notification. He sat up and reached for his phone in his bag, checking it.
Biggest Bird 🦜: Hi Egg, just wanted to let u know that the exhibit judging will be moved in Wednesday so we're rushing to finish everything by tomorrow
Biggest Bird 🦜: They said the sports week urgently needs to be done idk bro.
Biggest Bird 🦜: But we're already halfway done with the decorations and other mechanics, Theo and Wifies can handle the actual robot that they're building.
Biggest Bird 🦜: Js letting you know:) Good night
His lips curved into a thin line as his eyebrow raised, Wednesday? Well.. they can do it, but what about the other sections with harder themes?
He knew there's a lot of scientific topics harder than robotics. He felt pity for those that struggled in the exhibit, especially the first years.
He sighed and sent a thumbs up emoji to Parrot, tired to text even one sentence.
He opened his and Wemmbu's private messages, huh
He hadn't messaged him yet.. surely he would, by now.
Eggish🍳: Hi Wemm:)
Eggish🍳: You busy bro?
Eggish🍳: Kinda wanna play Minecraft ngl u up for it?
Okay, why did he chat Wemmbu but not Parrot?? That's insane, is this what others call favouritism?
Wemmbu wasn't online, so he figured he wouldn't reply for a bit. He leaned back on the mattress and put his phone under his pillow, the pillows were so comfortable!
His hands gripped the blankets as he stared up at the glowing stars.
Huh
Were they ever that dim?
It's a shame that his left hand couldn't grip any tighter
He gulped, did he go too far?
Surely not.. his left arm can still function
.. and he won't let it get paralyzed because of a really bad coping mechanism.
You can always do it on your other wrist!
He shook his head, he's sweating. His head wings have been limp for a while, and.. that's actually good. They're relaxed.
But his hair was a mess, oh whatever. He's going to sleep anyways.
He closed his eyes, and drifted off to sleep.
The thing is, he couldn't. His left arm was continuously hurting. Not a sting, but it was a lingering pain. Maybe he did go too deep.
For some reason, I like it
Whatever
Just..
He'll just try to sleep.
Goodnight.