Chapter Text
Yue Qi had found them once. Only once.
Late one night, while rain tapped softly against the shed roof and water slipped through cracks in the wood, Shen Yuan lay half asleep against Shen
Jiu’s shoulder beneath a pile of old rags.
The door creaked open.
Shen Jiu was awake instantly.
He sat upright with a start, ready to lunge.
Then froze.
A figure slipped inside and shut the door behind him.
Soaked through.
“Qi-ge?”
Shen Yuan sat up so fast he smacked his head on the beam overhead.
Yue Qi dropped to his knees immediately.
Shen Yuan nearly crashed into him.
Yue Qi wrapped both twins into a tight embrace, shaking with cold and relief.
“You’re both alive."
His voice cracked.
Shen Yuan buried his face into Yue Qi’s shoulder.
“Qi-ge…”
Shen Jiu sat stiffly beside them, saying nothing.
But he didn’t pull away.
Neither of them had thought they’d see him again.
Yue Qi stayed only a short while.
Too dangerous.
Too risky.
If the Qius found him
If any servant saw, he’d be dragged in too.
Before dawn he stood.
Shen Yuan grabbed his sleeve with both hands.
“Don’t go.”
Yue Qi crouched.
Rainwater still clung to his lashes.
He wiped dirt gently from Shen Yuan’s cheek.
“I’ll come back.”
“You said that before.”
“I know.”
“You didn’t.”
Yue Qi smiled sadly.
“I know.”
Shen Jiu still didn’t speak.
Just stared at him.
Yue Qi looked at both of them.
“I’ll come back for both of you.”
Then he left.
And didn’t return.
One year.
Then two.
Then five.
~
Shen Yuan opened his eyes to silk curtains.
He was in Qiu Haitang’s room.
Bright robes hung from lacquer stands.
Hair ribbons spilled from drawers.
Jewelry boxes sat open.
Porcelain dolls and carved toys covered the floor.
Qiu Haitang sat before him smiling.
Young.
Pretty.
Excited.
And already used to getting exactly what she wanted.
Shen Yuan sat still while she tugged his outer robe loose.
He wanted to stop her.
Wanted to pull away.
But his body didn’t move.
The younger Shen Yuan didn’t resist.
Didn’t flinch.
Like he’d done this hundreds of times.
Qiu Haitang giggled as she dressed him.
Blue silk.
Then white silk.
Then embroidered gold.
She brushed his hair smooth.
Tied ribbons around his braid.
Ran her fingers through his ears.
Fluffed his tails with delight.
Then trimmed uneven ends of his hair with tiny scissors.
Turning him left.
Then right.
Admiring him.
Like a doll.
Like a pet.
Like something she owned.
Hours passed.
Tea.
Games.
Laughter.
Until eventually she yawned and fell asleep against a cushion.
Only then did Shen Yuan stand.
Quietly.
Automatically.
He slipped from the room and walked down the dark corridor.
Then entered another room a few doors away.
Someone waited inside.
Qiu Jianluo.
Dread settled in his stomach before the door even shut.
The dream blurred after that.
Time stretched strangely.
Shen Yuan felt trapped inside the body.
Unable to move.
Unable to stop anything.
Only silence.
Enduring.
By the time he was allowed to leave, his robes hung crooked and wrinkled.
His body ached.
He walked back to the shed through the dark.
Then collapsed onto the rags beside Shen Jiu and curled tightly against him.
Shen Jiu stirred.
Half asleep.
Without opening his eyes
He wrapped an arm around him.
~
Shen Jiu knew Shen Yuan spent his days with Qiu Haitang.
Dressed up.
Played with.
Treated like a toy.
He hated it.
But he always told himself
At least Shen Yuan wasn’t getting beaten.
At least not like him.
Then one winter night Shen Yuan came back late.
His robes were torn.
He was trembling.
Quiet.
Too quiet.
He crawled under the rags beside Shen Jiu and curled against him.
Freezing.
Shen Jiu stayed awake the rest of the night.
Shen Yuan already had healing marks across his back from the last punishment after spilling tea.
If he got sick
There would be no medicine.
No blankets.
No one to help.
By dawn Shen Jiu made up his mind.
He tucked every rag over Shen Yuan.
Then left the shed.
He went to Qiu Haitang’s room.
That day
He took Shen Yuan’s place.
Qiu Haitang never noticed.
She dressed him in soft robes.
Brushed his hair.
Pinned ribbons into it.
Made him sit with her while she played.
Talked endlessly.
Shen Jiu endured all of it.
By afternoon she dismissed him.
Shen Jiu stood immediately.
Ready to leave.
Qiu Jianluo blocked the hallway.
“And where do you think you’re going?”
Shen Jiu froze.
“Don’t forget. You haven’t done our routine yet.”
Routine.
He didn’t understand.
But he followed.
Too afraid not to.
The door locked behind them.
Then Shen Jiu understood.
Slowly.
Then all at once.
His stomach dropped.
No.
No.
No.
He had thought Shen Yuan had been spared.
Thought it was only dresses.
Ribbons.
Games.
Not this.
Qiu Jianluo stepped closer.
Shen Jiu shoved him hard and ran for the door.
Locked.
He yanked at it desperately.
It wouldn’t move.
Behind him
Laughter.
Then the crack of a whip being drawn.
Shen Jiu spun around.
Panicked.
Searching.
Anything.
His eyes landed on a bottle in the corner.
He ran.
Grabbed it.
Smashed it against the wall.
Glass shattered across the floor.
Before Qiu Jianluo could reach him
Shen Jiu drove the jagged edge forward.
A scream split the room.
Blood sprayed hot across Shen Jiu’s face.
Qiu Jianluo fell.
Shen Jiu didn’t stop.
Couldn’t stop.
Not until he stopped moving.
When it was over
Shen Jiu stood shaking over the body.
Covered in blood.
Breathing hard.
The broken glass slipped from his hand.
Then he ran.
~
Shen Yuan woke coughing, smoke filled his lungs.
Heat burned against his skin.
Someone lifted him.
Carried him.
Shen Jiu.
Shen Jiu had him on his back, running through the dark.
The manor burned behind them.
Flames climbed into the night sky.
Wood cracked.
Roof beams collapsed.
Orange light lit the forest.
“jiu-ge…”
Shen Jiu stumbled but didn’t stop.
“A-Yuan? You’re awake.”
“What happened?”
Shen Jiu kept running.
Voice hoarse.
“I ended it."
Shen Yuan blinked.
Then noticed blood soaking through Shen Jiu’s robes.
His brother’s hands were stained red.
Shen Yuan said nothing.
Only wrapped his arms tighter around Shen Jiu’s shoulders.
~
They washed in the river before sunrise.
Cold water turned pink around them.
Then clear.
For weeks they lived by the forest.
Sleeping under trees.
Stealing scraps.
Pickpocketing in crowded streets.
Running whenever someone shouted.
One day Shen Yuan’s fingers had just brushed a merchant’s purse
When someone grabbed his wrist.
He froze.
Shen Jiu spun around instantly.
Ready to fight.
Ready to run.
Instead
A cultivator in dark robes crouched to their height.
Kind eyes.
Gentle face.
Tired smile.
He didn’t tighten his grip.
Didn’t shout.
Didn’t call guards.
He only looked at them.
At their bruises.
Their hollow cheeks.
Their thin wrists.
Shen yuan's ears...
And held out a warm steamed bun.
Steam rose into the cold air.
“When was the last time you two ate?”