Chapter Text
In the house of the Ars Goetia sit two miserable birds, Andrealphus and Stella, drinking their tea. During their most hated time of year, most would call them a Grinch; For these two mischievous royals have an evil plan to end sinsmas!
"Stolas is too fucking happy, and I hate it!" Stella whines.
"I just hate sinsmas." Andre scoffs with an eye roll.
The two siblings take a sip of their tea at the same time; choking on her breath and pointing at her brother, Stella yells. "What if we kidnap that fucker that delivers the gifts to all those ghastly children?!"
Andre looks at his sister wide-eyed, "Kidnap Krampus? Stella, are you out of your fucking mind?! How would we achieve such a task?"
"I don't care, I just hate Stolas and want him to fucking SUFFER!"
"And you think kidnapping the big jolly man himself will make Stolas suffer?"
"Well, yes. Gift-giving and spending time with his loved ones make him so happy; nothing can upset him during sinsmas." Stella gags at the thought of Stolas being happy...
"Well, how the fuck will we kidnap Krampus. hm, Stells? Did you think of that?!" Andre squawks
"Dont yell at me fuck-face. It's a good idea, but we need a plan. "
"I don't do 'plans'," Andre groans,
"Well, that's just too fucking bad now, isn't it, you mistake of a brother." She says each syllable separately to emphasise her point. Andre rolls his eyes, knowing he has no choice in this matter, so he sighs and agrees to whatever his sister conjures up.
The two siblings start planning their evil plan to kidnap Krampus and ruin sinsmas. With evil laughs and a lot of blueprints, Stella and Andre stand back in awe at their genius. So the two, with their plan, go to the North side of the petagram where Krampus lies, setting up their plan with a not-so-good disguise. setting traps too excessive for what their goal is. Finally, they finish and find a place to hide, waiting for their traps to be set off.
"This is fucking boring." Stella sighs and groans.
"We could've just sent Stolas a snarky email or something, this seems like too much, just to fuck with him?"
"Yes, dimwhit. I fucking hate him if you didn't realise already.'
"Wow, I never would have guessed. And how do you even know this plan will work? It would've been easier if we had that lizard cunt kill him! He's powerless now, so it's easier."
"I don't want to kill him, I want to make him feel like shit!"
After what felt like hours of fighting between the two, they finally see something happening inside Krampus' home. The traps have been set off, and Krampus has been caught. Stella and Andre rush inside, picking the old man up to take him back to the Ars Goetias house.