Chapter Text
“So, he agreed?”
“Yes.”
A day after we uploaded the video, I went to Go Youngeun as we promised. I met her at the hospital and took our conversation inside—we couldn't really risk anyone seeing us, it'll make things complicated.
Still, it made me wonder. Why has no one talked about this before? If humans are able to see ghosts like this, then…why hasn't there been some outbreak about it? Is there another set of conditions?
Go Youngeun sighed, feeling relieved.
“Alright. Maybe then, people will stop breaking in,” she leaned on her hand, resting it on the windowsill. “It's for their safety, too.”
I only hummed in agreement, but my mind was somewhere else.
I had many unanswered suspicions. Even if I'm unable to answer them right now, I at least want to get a grasp.
“...Youngeun-ssi, did you wake up here?”
“Uh, no. This isn’t where I died.”
“This is your safe place, then?”
She cracked out a smile, but it was more melancholic than anything. “I wouldn't exactly call it safe with how spirits here have become. But I wouldn't want to stay anywhere else.”
“What about your family?”
Her eyes lowered, as if having remembered a distant memory. “They're better off without me. I don't want them to see me like this at all.”
‘The same as me, then.’
I felt solace in our shared thoughts. The moment I turned into a spirit, I thought I'd never be able to feel a sense of camaraderie again.
I’m genuinely glad to have met Go Youngeun; it's like I gained another anchor to keep me from going off into a whirlpool with no return.
‘I’m not alone.’
“...I don't want to leave the spirits here, either. I tried my best to delay their ‘death’ a little bit longer, but they’re still…taken away,” her voice was filled with a numb grief, like having experienced a loss far too many times. “They were once patients. To see them leave like this…”
I wasn't sure what to say. The sorrow that hung in the air began to seep into my own soul.
It was a cruel procedure. To experience death where one expects a peaceful end, just for it to be out of reach and dangled like a toy you can't get unless you first throw yourself into a bottomless pit of existential anguish, one that completely drains you of your sanity.
Only then will that peace come when you finally forget yourself.
“...”
I felt my will waver.
‘All this…just to die a second death?’
I looked at Go Youngeun, hoping to find ease with her quiet ambition.
But I only saw a reflection. The same numbness, the same nihilism, the same fear. It wasn't obvious, but it was faintly there, only a glint in her eyes that seemed to disassociate.
Even in this depressing resonance, I should have felt comfort. But the flimsiness of our optimism shook my walls more than I thought it would. It didn't feel good.
“...let’s make the most out of this, Youngeun-ssi.”
She gave a small smile. Not the warmest, but I could tell it was sincere. Though the melancholy in her eyes didn't disappear, it seemed to have faded just slightly.
“We will.”
She got off the windowsill, now fully turning to face me with a more curious expression.
“You know, I was wondering why you looked familiar…”
I blinked. “...I do?”
Go Youngeun held her own chin in thought, furrowing her eyebrows as she took a closer look at me. This was the second time I was being stared at like an exhibit, and it's still really uncomfortable.
“You might be the one that was in that room.”
‘The ward?’
“I think it was…about a month ago,” she glanced at somewhere else in the dim corridor, “I left to go somewhere else for a bit. I came back here and saw a man lying face down in a ward.”
“Oh, that's where I woke up after I died six months ago.”
Go Youngeun looked as if she didn't know whether to narrow or widen her eyes, and she simply stared at me as if I had grown another head.
“Six months ago? But you weren't even here before I left,” she folded her arms, “And usually, the dead become spirits much less than…six months. Mine was only a week.”
Even without one, the only way I could describe my reaction just now was my heart dropping.
“...a week?”
‘It varies. It has to. Some ghosts become one maybe after a week, and some maybe after months. Six months isn't that…unbelievable.’
But she didn't see me? This is the place she stays at—she probably wanders around the building every other day to care for the spirits here to the best of her abilities, but…she didn't see me?
She hummed in thought. “Well, did you die here?”
“...No.”
I began to feel my mind clear up. I was so caught up in the absurdity of the situation that I didn't think to ask why I even woke up here.
An abandoned hospital instead of the road.
“...that’s weird. I was where I died, and only then came to this hospital. Maybe you did the same?”
But I don't recall doing it. I don't have any memory of going here. All I know is that I just woke up here and…met Baek Saheon.
I couldn't peep a word out. I was too busy trying to piece it all together in my own head, but I didn't even have the pieces, only questions that multiplied with each recollection of detail.
“Kim Soleum?”
“...I don't remember.”
Go Youngeun sighed on my behalf.
“Don't mull over it. Anything can be possible at this point. It's not like I obsessively patrol the building either, so I might have just missed you.”
‘I have a feeling that's highly unlikely.’
But I took her word for it for now, I didn't want to spiral into another crisis.
I looked outside of the broken window. The other branches of the building cast a looming shadow thanks to the sun's strong shine, even as it started to set. I wondered; one day, will it explode bright enough to make a great impact, or will the light quietly die out like the rest of the stars?
It was getting dark, and I already stayed here long enough.
“...I should go now.”
“Right.”
Go Youngeun began to stride as if to escort me out, “Just visit me if you two are up for another…ghost-hunting. I'll try my best to guide you.”
I nodded as my feet began to lift themselves. “We’re still looking for places we can explore next.”
“Oh, right—I’m not always here, so you might need to visit me another day.”
“Where do you usually go?” I asked out of curiosity.
She hummed. “I just take walks around the area, or even farther out from here. It helps keep my mind at ease.”
‘At ease…’
Admittedly, I didn't think of that. I was too focused on trying to gain Baek Saheon’s difficult trust through household chores and standing guard…that I never even thought of actually going outside. I indirectly imprisoned myself there.
‘I should go out some time…it’ll help me clear my mind.’
By then, we were already far outside of the building. I saw Go Youngeun’s gaze drift somewhere.
“Oh, you can drive?”
“Yes. My father taught me.”
‘But I ended up taking the train to work anyway.’
“No, I mean…you don't struggle trying to grab the steering wheel and pressing the brakes as a spectre?”
I paused right in front of the car I drove with. “Oh. Uhm, no.”
“You're able to touch things freely, then?” Her eyes lit up with mellow enthusiasm.
“No, I’m just…usually alert.”
“...fair enough. You're new to this, so it's definitely weird. But you'll get used to it,” she offered a reassuring smile. “If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here.”
I nodded my head, returning a genuine smile. “Thank you, Youngeun-ssi. If you need some help yourself, I'll be glad to repay you.”
I slid into the car’s driver seat, and I was about to shut the door until Go Youngeun spoke again, “Is that Baek Saheon’s car?”
“Uh, yes.”
It was definitely a challenge convincing Baek Saheon to let me use his car when he kept listing the possible damages I might cause to his well-maintained vehicle. I'm not even sure how I got him to agree. I was worried myself; the entire ride, I was completely hung up on the thought of getting too relaxed that I'd turn intangible again and crash the car as my fingers just phase through the steering wheel. But my anxiety was the very reason I was confident to drive in the first place.
‘What a difficult mechanism…’
“Huh, alright. Goodbye then, Soleum-ssi,” she waved her hand casually, and I reciprocated with a somewhat stiff wag of my own.
I closed the door and put the key in the ignition.
‘...what if I really do crash this time?’
I shuddered, suddenly feeling a slight surge of panic. I shifted in my seat and held onto the steering wheel as if it was my lifeline.
I never thought I'd say this to myself, but…
‘...please, don't stay calm!’
This was the first time in my life that I had begged to be more of a coward than ever.
The very moment I pulled up to Baek Saheon’s house, he came rushing outside, practically sprinting towards his car as if his child had returned after being abducted.
As soon as he approached, he knocked on the window and mouthed,
“Get out.”
I wanted to roll my eyes, but I didn't feel like indulging in his obnoxious whims at the moment, so I turned off the engine before climbing out.
Meanwhile, Baek Saheon ran circles around his car, inspecting every little detail in each lap. He even peeked his head inside to monitor the interior.
“You didn't let anyone in?”
“No.”
He poked his head out, pointing at the backseat with a scrunched up face. “Then what the hell's with the mess back there?”
I hummed in confusion, looking through the tint of the window to the backseat.
It was…somewhat chaotic. Not extremely, but it was obviously different than before; the seatbelts were all tangled up for whatever reason. But that was it.
“I have no idea.”
“What?”
‘Weird. Did someone mess with it while I was with Go Youngeun?’
It should have called for a cautious inspection, but I don't think anyone was in the car with me. Ghost or human, I would have seen them through the rearview mirror or even felt their presence.
“...I guess I accidentally made it end up like that. I'll fix it—”
“No. Go inside, I'm not letting you lay a finger on my car again.”
‘Whatever…’
I didn't really do much the whole day, but I felt fatigued, so I certainly didn't mind going straight to the house.
At which I did. As I stepped inside, I instinctively looked over towards the kitchen, just as I would whenever I came home from work.
There was a glass of water and a bowl of soup on the counter, a mundane but comfortably domestic scenery.
I hate that I couldn't even feel hunger, yet my mind tried to lap at the idea like a cat trying to lick water that isn't there. Up until now, I still wasn't used to it; the lack of senses I once had my entire life, now completely gone, only leaving a phantom. It's one of the small things that really drive you to the brink.
“It's been an entire day,” Baek Saheon appeared behind me, shutting the front door, “Let's go check the video.”
He walked right through me.
‘Rude.’
I shrugged it off, my shoulders slumping further as I sucked it up and just followed him upstairs.
“...thirty-seven views.”
“...”
I expected it to be low, but not that…low.
“...you said–”
“The algorithm can be late. Some videos even show only after a decade or so,” I quickly tried to justify, though I was hesitant as well. “And we're just not big enough to easily make it on the page.”
Baek Saheon scratched his head, “Still…”
I squinted my eyes at what was under the video.
“...there are comments. Check them out.”
He clicked on the mouse, and the comment section opened up, though of course, there were only actually a few comments.
——————————
@Rawinda 25 y.o. ← watch my videos
· So good! 🥵🥵
@Sophia 💖 T[A]P ME!! TO HAVE S[E]X With Me
· Sick content from Saja, i love it
@MariaPratt-n4b
· Great videos! Your content is always impressive, keep it up 🫶🍩🍌
——————————
“...”
“...”
I felt time freeze, taking away the last bit of my patience.
“These are just…sex bots.”
“Just delete them. This is normal—they usually target small channels.”
“Sure…”
I saw Baek Saheon’s jaw clench, clearly much more irritated.
‘There’s another two comments.’
——————————
@Moondae’sblondehair
· Holy sex bots bro
@DAWNhater
· Such a good boy Saja ~ please delete your channel for me ~
——————————
“Son of a–”
“Calm down.”
I told him that, but the little energy I had left was dissipating.
‘Is this really gonna work out?’
“Let's just leave it for now. If it really does flop, then…well, we'll try again. If you agree to it, anyway.”
He scoffed, closing the entire application with fast clicks, “I'm not that pathetic. I'll keep trying.”
It was slightly more motivating to see him keep up, but I was still disappointed. Then again, it's only been a day, I'm sure we'll get some kind of feedback. We'll have to deal with trolls, too.
Patience is the core here.
‘Not too different from my past job.’
Baek Saheon huffed, getting up with a violent squeak of the chair, immediately turning off the computer.
“I'm gonna sleep.”
“This early?”
“I prefer a healthy sleeping schedule.”
He glanced at me with judgemental eyes.
“You look like you didn't have one.”
With the other manager nagging me to work overtime and having to handle errands outside of my role, not really.
“What did that Go woman say?”
‘I can't tell if he's still disrespecting her or if he genuinely forgot her name.’
“She just told us to pick her up once we need her, which means we have to settle on another location at some point.”
I could hear a quiet groan even as he turned his back to me.
“We'll talk about that another day—I’m going to sleep…”
I nodded. Seeing him tired somehow drained me as well, and soon, I was out of the room.
‘Off to the couch again, then.’
I wish I could sleep. How do you even recharge energy in this body?
“...”
I’ll just watch a movie…
“But…p–please, deputy manager!” Administrative assistant Lee cried out, watching the stoic woman carelessly wrinkle the papers he had worked on all night, her sharp fingernails almost piercing the delicate texture.
“You don't understand, this is a good–”
“If you whine one more time, we'll start this project by demoting you to rock bottom.”
Her fingernails began to scrape; a silent threat, right before she tossed the papers towards assistant Lee’s direction without sparing another glance, “Go.”
The man scrambled to catch each flimsy sheet that waved slowly in the air. As the woman’s back had turned, so did his, scurrying out of the office with a snarl under his breath.
“Hmm? What did he propose this time?”
“Nothing,” Jin Nasol’s hand dragged itself across the desk’s clean surface, her gaze slithering towards the office’s windows, which seemed to take up the entire wall. “Just another low-quality project that has nothing to do with his job. It's pathetic.”
She circled around the desk, standing right before the other woman in the chair. “Get up. This is my office.”
Lee Seonghae hummed, ignoring Jin Nasol’s looming shadow as her thumb continued to flick on her phone. She was chewing on one of her favorite sets of gummies; a flavor of kyoho grapes. It reminded her of a good person she knew…though they died. Too bad.
“You’re not gonna defend him anymore?” Jin Nasol seemed to have given up, as she just leaned against the edge of the desk.
“Nope. He's not as nice as I thought…he’s almost on par with Saheon Sunbae~”
Her thumb froze.
Jin Nasol narrowed her eyes at the reaction, leaning in to peek at the screen that got Lee Seonghae to stop chewing so obnoxiously.
“...speak of the devil.”
“Sajaboy? Haha, is he the grim reaper? Why can't he be the one dead instead?”
Lee Seonghae clicked on the reel, letting it play with an amused smile.
“...”
“...”
Jin Nasol pulled away, closing her eyes shut as if trying to erase the video from her memory.
“He…he’s a ghost hunter now? What the hell?”
“Ooh, I like it!” Lee Seonghae beamed, chewing much more enthusiastically as her eyes set on the brown-haired girl on the screen. “She cares a lot about her patients…what a good ghost. And a good nurse. I like her.”
“It's faked.”
She ignored Jin Nasol’s remark once more, all of her concentration focused on the characters that argued with each other.
“Aww…I wanted to see them reconcile. Why did they cut that part out?” She chirped. “The woman and that person make a good duo…they should just leave Baek Saheon and have a channel of their own.”
For all Jin Nasol’s stoicism, she continued to watch alongside Lee Seonghae with analytical eyes.
“Why is his face blurred?”
“Well, some people just like privacy. You don't seem to have a sense of boundary, so of course you wouldn't know~”
Jin Nasol’s jaw clenched. “I do.”
Lee Seonghae observed closely with a pleasant hum. “Huh, Saheon Sunbae seems a lot nicer around this person.”
“Being quiet is being nice now?”
“For someone like him, it is, isn't it?”
Jin Nasol couldn't argue with that. Although Baek Saheon never directly showed aggression towards anyone in the company, she’d be stupid to fall for his sycophancy. Though only a few know of his two-faced schemes, and their naivety greatly irritates her. But Baek Saheon isn't relevant enough to care about, so she never bothered.
But seeing Baek Saheon in this light…
…was completely, absolutely, and utterly laughable.
“So, this is what he's doing instead of working?”
“He may not be a good person, but I can see that he's diligent.”
As the video came to an end, Lee Seonghae grinned, though Jin Nasol didn't react at all.
“All that arrogance, just for him to be running and screaming with a tail between his legs. Who would've known.”
Lee Seonghae suddenly stood up, feeling a surge of determination swell in her good heart. She turned to Jin Nasol.
“Let's show this to the others.”
“...? Are you crazy, woman?”
“It's to support them! I want to see more~”
And without a word, Lee Seonghae was already out of the door. Jin Nasol, of course, didn't follow. This was completely none of her business.
“How is she a deputy manager?”
Consequently, the video finally began to spread like the gospel, gaining an audience who were invested after spending their 9-to-5 staring at monitors. It was a miracle, truly.
It was just not quite the audience Baek Saheon had hoped for.