Chapter Text
If you had told him 1 month ago that he’s going to have a crying Dick Grayson in his arm, he would have told you to fuck off.
He’s been ignoring Dick for 2 months now. Of course he’s still angry that his big brother lied to his family, let them grieve him when he didn’t even die, but he had enough. No one even talks to the guy anymore, not even Damian, and everyone knows that Dick lives off of physical and verbal affection. So saying that Dick misses a persons affection would most certainly be an understatement and if no one else is going to suck it up and talk to this walking sunshine, that’s slowly becoming less and less brighter, then he will have to.
At first it was..normal, to a limit. Yes there were some changes in his brother but that was expected, he was away for 2 years after all. The first time he talked to Dick again he could see it in his brother’s eyes. The surprise, it honestly breaks his heart that Dickie-Bird was surprised he was talking to him. The happiness, you could feel the happiness miles away, just a big brother jumping from excitement and happiness because someone finally talked to him. Yet there was something else in Dicks eyes too, it almost seemed unsure? Or rather scared. That thought actually broke his heart into a thousand pieces. Was his unbreakable, ray of sunshine, big brother scared? Of him?
A few weeks in was when he started to notice the little things. The shaking hands, staring into the void for hours, refusing to take pills, panic whenever someone approaches from behind. He was pretty sure that Dick started dissociating too. If he were honest, the more he noticed, the more it scared him. Just what happened to change his brother this drastically? Yet what he noticed the most was the way Dick seemed on edge around Bruce and avoided him like the plague. Sure his brother and Bruce had had their fair share of fights and a bit of tension after them but this was different, ever since Dick had been back he’s seen Bruce a total of 3 times and hadn’t spoken a word to him, didn’t even say hello.
He wanted to know, he truly did but he had so little information about Spyral that he doesn’t know what to ask. What happened? Is too vague but he can’t just straight up ask what did the people at Spyral do to you? based on what he’s observed so far that would probably send his brother into a panic attack and trust him you don’t want Dick Grayson having a panic attack.
He’s actually been visiting Dick in Blüdhaven unannounced a lot, visiting him when his brother doesn’t expect it means he can’t hide the fact that he's not okay with that shitty I’m fine! attitude and those painfully fake smiles. To be honest those smiles sometimes tear at his heartstrings, his brothers room lightening smile with those tired and dead eyes, not to mention the fact that Dick feels like he has to pretend to be happy around his Family god damnit! Not that they ever really did anything to prevent him feeling like this. He noticed it a lot of times before, his brother comforting him and his other siblings with reassuring words and a warming smile on his face despite clearly not being okay, though nobody ever said anything.
He could talk hours about how much he regrets not saying or doing anything when it comes to his big bird but he should focus on the present now.
For example how Dick just woke up panting running to the kitchen and drinking like he hadn’t had anything to drink for a week.
Last night he visited Dick unannounced in Blüdhaven again, honestly there wasn’t any motive behind it this time he was just bored and, though he will never admit it, he just wanted to see his brother. He just happened to arrive when Dick was making himself dinner so they ate together and watched some movies. Time seemed to fly fast and he ended up falling asleep on Dicks sofa.
He woke up around 6 or 7 am, he doesn’t really remember but he knows it was quite early, he definitely woke up before Dick. From his position on the sofa he had a clear view of the kitchen. Wiping the sleep from his eyes he looked around the room suddenly noticing the absence of his brother. Well, he assumes Dick just went to his bed after he had fallen asleep, not wanting to ‘disturb his sleep’ as his brother admitted once.
That’s when Dick came, basically running into the kitchen, breathing that sounded like hyperventilating. He sat frozen on the sofa in shock watching as his brother filled one glas after another downing them all with sweat covering his face and an arm on the counter holding him so he doesn’t fall over. Dick drank at least a litre of water as he just sat on the sofa frozen not being able to make anything of it. Honestly. Nothing was going through his mind at that moment, he didn’t know what should. Concern? Does he even want to know what happened?
He could hear Dick’s panting slowing down, turning into normal breathing. He still sat in the same position as Dick turned around, meeting his eye as a shocked expression suddenly overtook his brothers face. Dick probably thought he’d gone home by now.
”Dude. What the fuck?” came automatically out of his mouth. Both of them were frozen in place.
”You’re still here?” Dick said, with an awkward chuckle obviously trying to change the subject. He was not about to let that happen, he watched his brother suffer silently for 2 weeks now deciding not to say anything about the obvious signs of PTSD, the times when he was obviously having flashbacks but played it down to ‘not getting enough sleep the past night’ which wasn’t exactly wrong but not right either. He can’t ignore something like that, whatever that was. They’re gonna talk about no matter what, even if he was to tie Dick down and force him to talk. Although on second thought that might not be the best idea considering the PTSD and all but you get his point.