Chapter Text
AMB. POIROT
“H-Block”, Lieutenant?
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LT. HALLS
Oh! Right, Sorry, sir. That’s how Commander Lemon keeps us all alphabetized, sir. H-Block is one of the banks of crew quarters on the port side, where junior officers with H-surnames live.
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AMB. POIROT
Ah, I see… she is quite organised, Commander Lemon…
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LT. HALLS
Yeah… She’s always doing stuff like that. Like the door colors & stuff?
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AMB. POIROT
......Door colours, Lieutenant?
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LT. HALLS
Oh, the doors on the port side of the ship are red, and the ones on the starboard side are green. Helps us not get turned around too much.
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AMB. POIROT
Ah! And… tell me… the blue doors—
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LT. HALLS
*Interrupting* Oh! Blue is midship, sir.
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AMB. POIROT
Ah! It is… quite logical.
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LT. HALLS
Oh, yeah. Commander Lemon’s—
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AMB. POIROT
*Interrupting* Ah, excuse the interruption, Lieutenant, but… do you have any idea to whom the uniform jacket that you found belonged?
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LT. HALLS
No, sir… all the insignias & years-of-service pins had been ripped right off… so… Could belong to one of us H-surnames, but… honestly, there’s no tellin’ unless they say something, ‘cause we’re right between the G’s & I’s, and we’re not a far walk from the F’s or J’s, so… it coulda been one of theirs—
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AMB. POIROT
*Interrupting* Ah, excuse the interruption again, Lieutenant, but… when did you find this uniform jacket?
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LT. HALLS
Uh… I think it was… ‘bout a month ago, Ambassador? I’m sorry, Sir, I don’t remember the specific stardate…
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AMB. POIROT
Oh, non, it is quite alright, Miss Halls! Now, tell me… Has this, to your knowledge, happened many times, or has—
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LT. HALLS
*Interrupting* Well, no, sir; Far as I know, it was just the once, but… if y’ask me? Once is enough! ‘Cause that more’n likely means that there’s somebody onboard this ship—who has access to crew quarters—who’s doin’ all kinds’a sick & twisted stuff like that!!
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AMB. POIROT
You reported about the uniform jacket to the Captain, correct?
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LT. HALLS
I sure did!! I found it on the way to my shift that morning, so I told Captain Hastings & Lt. Commander Graal about it the minute I got to the bridge! I wasn’t gonna go not reportin’ something AWFUL like that!
Like, I can’t believe any of our crew could do something like that, but… if you’re here… bein’ the former head of Starfleet Security & all… Oh. (Oh my gosh…) Is that why you’re here askin’ questions, Sir? Are… Are you… (Are you really here lookin’ for a fugitive on the Wordsworth, sir?)
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AMB. POIROT
A fugitive, Lieutenant?
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LT. HALLS
Well… It’s just… (Everyone’s talking, sir…)
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AMB. POIROT
And… what are they saying, Lieutenant?
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LT. HALLS
Well… (Some people are sayin’ that… maybe Lt. Shakhban never left and… maybe he’s hiding out… in shuttlebay 3, Sir…) I mean… that’s CRAZY, right? But… (Nobody’s been up there in God knows how long…)
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AMB. POIROT
What do you believe, Lieutenant Halls?
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LT. HALLS
Well… Listen… I never really knew Lt. Shakhban, sir, but… He was here before me, & none of this weird stuff started happening until, like… A few months ago…
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AMB. POIROT
So… you do not suspect him?
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LT. HALLS
Well… he basically used to just… keep to himself, and… the coupl’a times I played chess with him, it was like… Well… to tell ya the truth, by the way he played, he really didn’t strike me as the kind who’d go around hurting people, y’know?
(So I think… we must have somebody else up there… like a stowaway… Maybe that’s why we got Klingons tailing us… Maybe they’ve come to pick up their mole…)
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AMB. POIROT
Hmm… Perhaps there is someone in shuttlebay 3, Lieutenant…
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LT. HALLS
!! *GASP* (OMGREALLY.)
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AMB. POIROT
…And, perhaps not. But… even if so… such a problem would not concern me, Miss Halls.
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LT. HALLS
…Wait, what.
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AMB. POIROT
I am simply… here to enjoy my retirement.
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LT. HALLS
(Then… why’d you ask me all of those—
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AMB. POIROT
*Starts to walk away* You did the right thing, to report about finding the uniform jacket to Captain Hastings and Lt. Commander Graal. I am sure that their investigation is already well underway…
Ah! But I should not keep you from your midday meal! Good day, Lieutenant.
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LT. HALLS
....!? Uh… O…kay?? Umm… Good… um… day, Ambassador..?
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AMB. POIROT
*Turning back* Lieutenant?
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LT. HALLS
Huh?
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AMB. POIROT
.... The captain will return to us. I truly believe this.
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LT. HALLS
You… say that… almost like… you don’t know that for sure, sir… …Do you?
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AMB. POIROT
..... (…Non, Lieutenant… Unfortunately… I do not.) But… I have faith, Miss Halls. Captain Hastings is… resourceful. Have some faith in him.
Good day, Lieutenant. Enjoy your meal.
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LT. HALLS
…Thanks, Ambassador. Good Day. ???