Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Chuuya had come to expect Dazai’s presence in the lounge when he left his bedroom in the early mornings, but this morning it was surprisingly empty. Chuuya paused for a moment once he closed his bedroom door and looked around the dark, quiet room, making sure Dazai really was not there, and not just lurking somewhere out of sight waiting to catch him off guard. He glanced towards the closed bedroom door that Dazai officially shared with Ranpo, but his ability was gravity manipulation and not x-ray vision, so he had no idea whether Dazai was behind it or not. He hoped he was, and that he was sleeping soundly, which would be a good thing, but there was a frustrating tremor of unease in Chuuya’s chest as he hiked his bag up onto his shoulder and set off for the gym. He hated feeling unsure of himself, but their parting last night had been a little awkward, and despite himself, Chuuya hoped Dazai was not avoiding him.

He hit the gym hard, setting a fast pace on the running machine and then attacking the punching bag with gusto to take his mind off of it. Kissing Dazai had felt right, but that didn’t mean it was. Time seemed to move differently in this hotel, cut off as they were from the outside world. It slowed and warped in ways that made days feel endless, yet also seemed to accelerate emotions and feelings that would have taken longer to fester outside.

Chuuya’s feelings for Dazai had been buried deep beneath his traumas, but being in constant companionship with him had forced them to the surface at a dizzying rate. It was a ridiculously fast turnaround, but he had been lulled into a false sense of security yesterday, wrapped up in memories with Dazai, and had fallen victim to his own foolish desires.

He didn’t need to let it become another nasty habit. God knew he already had enough of those.

--

It was no secret that Dazai was a schemer, but this time things really were pretty simple; he had woken up (in Chuuya’s arms) feeling a lot better for only an hour or so of sleep, and so he had decided to try and ride that high and sleep through the night. He had hoped that having slept for a while might have reset his brain, and that the endorphins kissing Chuuya had released might have relaxed him enough to take advantage. It hadn’t quite worked that way though, and he had spent most of the night tossing and turning in frustration. But he was stubborn, and he had refused to get back out of bed now he had made up his mind. He had envisioned falling asleep peacefully with thoughts of Chuuya on his mind, but as it turned out, thoughts were not the same as the real thing, and he was not so easily lulled or pacified.

When he woke again after perhaps four good hours of sleep, he did feel better, if not perfect. He was pleased that he had wrangled his own brain into submission eventually, though he wasn’t sure if the effort it took was really worth it.

But some sleep was better than no sleep, and he felt much more equipped to handle the coming day now.

‘Good morning, Sleeping Beauty!’ Yosano greeted him once he stepped out into the brightly lit lounge, the rest of their strange entourage mingled around the large open space as the day began anew.

‘Good morning!’ Dazai beamed back just as brightly, even if he did not feel quite as sprightly as she seemed.

‘You look better.’ Yosano said. ‘I got some pastries. You want one?’

‘Uh.’ Dazai glanced at the table where Atsuko and Ranpo were currently sat. ‘Just coffee for now, I think.’

Yosano nodded with a smile and did not push it. Dazai slunk towards the table, pausing to lean on the back of one of the empty chairs.

‘He’s in the gym.’ Ranpo said, without looking up from what looked to be his second pastry.

‘What?’ Dazai asked.

‘Chuuya.’ Ranpo said, glancing up with a blank expression but all-too-knowing eyes.

‘Oh.’ Dazai said, keeping his own face carefully blank. ‘Good for him.’

Of course he had noted Chuuya’s absence, but he didn’t need Ranpo to point it out for him. He had been letting his masks slip too frequently these last few days, lulled into a false comfort in this supposed safe space, wrapped up in memories and feelings he had never really understood. Ranpo had only glanced at him for a moment, but he had a dreadful feeling that he had read all of Dazai’s thoughts plainly on his face.

As Dazai smiled and greeted his colleagues alike, his brain was firing with insecurities.

Dazai had kissed Chuuya before, plenty of times, but that had been back when they were partners, and teenagers. It had never been awkward because they had never allowed it to be, simply taking it in their stride and following the path naturally.

Now there was four years and a chasm of pain between them, and the kiss was weighed down with baggage. There was every possibility that Chuuya deeply regretted it, and had slipped out of the hotel suite whilst Dazai slept to avoid seeing him.

Dazai almost jumped as Yosano appeared at his side.

‘Coffee is ready.’ She told him.

‘Great.’ He replied, his voice appreciatively steady; he followed her back into the small kitchenette and poured himself a mug, his eyes cast down into the dark liquid as it settled, mind elsewhere. Yosano settled against the counter beside him, watching him over the rim of her own drink.

Dazai could feel her eyes on him, but he couldn’t be bothered to care. For all the sleep he had gotten, he had woken feeling weary.

A few moments later the door clicked open and Chuuya wandered in, gym bag slung across his shoulder. He looked up and caught Dazai’s eye, pausing just beyond the doorway.

Dazai’s face was unreadable, so Chuuya kept his own indifferent.

‘Ah, Chuuya,’ Higuchi said, approaching from her room with her laptop open and balanced on one hand. ‘Hirotsu has sent through the invoices for the Shinozaki case, but I can’t get them to add up.’

‘Alright.’ Chuuya said, looking away from Dazai and sounding as worn as Dazai felt. ‘Let me shower then I’ll look over them with you.’

‘Perfect, thank you.’ Higuchi smiled brightly as she settled down at the table beside Atsuko.

Chuuya nodded to her then headed for his own room, not looking back; Dazai watched him go.

Dazai put his still mostly full cup of coffee down on the side and headed for the front door; he suddenly felt like he needed to be out of the suite. Yosano watched him leave, but did not say anything.

The coffee had been fine, but Dazai needed something stronger; as he left the room, he glanced towards the guard at the elevator – it was a different guy to last night, but seeing him stood there reminded him of the way he and Chuuya had hurried out of the opposite suite the night before, kiss-drunk and ruffled. Dazai had been heady with hope last night, sure that they would both be eager to continue their dalliance, but uncertainty had wormed its way into his stomach overnight.

The memory twisted in his gut, fire and want and shame all pooling together in a way that had him swallowing hard.

He wanted to do it again. He wanted to avoid Chuuya. He wanted to run. He wanted more.

Dazai entered the empty bar and breathed a sigh of relief as he stepped into the cool, open room. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey from behind the bar, forwent a glass, and headed for the booths lining the side of the room.

He wasn’t sure whether it was due to their connotations with Oda, but bars always had a calming effect on Dazai – the bar in general, not just the alcohol – and this one was particularly effective as there was no one else in it. The bar tender back at Bar Lupin had been one of his favourites because he had never asked questions – a good start for any mafia affiliated venue – but he was also not the chatty type. Occasionally Dazai would end up there by himself, but the bartender just let him sit and drink without interruption.

But then he was also happy serving a minor, so maybe his morals were just pretty loose.

Dazai smiled as he sat back in the booth and tipped the bottle to his mouth, letting the sting of the liquor warm his throat then chest, easing some of his anxiety as it burned its way down into his belly. It was easy at times like this to get lost in memories, though they were always bittersweet. Dazai had been in the deepest pits of his depression back then, but in a way, things had also been simpler. He had joined the Mafia in an attempt to understand the human psyche and through it, his own, but the death and destruction he surrounded himself with had only numbed him further.  There had been a few pockets of light within that oppressive darkness though, and those had been Oda and Chuuya. He still didn’t really understand why Oda had taken a liking to him, but Dazai had appreciated it, and for the most part, enjoyed it. He had been good, honest company, and that was hard to come by in the Mafia.

Dazai silently tipped the bottle to his long dead friend, a small smile on his face.

He wondered what Oda would say if he could see him now.

Oda had undoubtedly recognised Dazai’s infatuation with Chuuya even back then; Dazai had spent a lot of his time complaining in some way about his partner, and Oda had always listened with that wry smile. Dazai did not know it for what it was back then, and would have never voiced it even if he had, but Oda had likely understood. He had often encouraged Dazai to go easy on Chuuya, even occasionally suggesting places Dazai might like to visit with him. He never approved of Dazai’s promiscuity, not that Dazai ever said too much about it to him, but if it were ever brought up Oda would go quiet, his eyes dark, and looking back Dazai assumed that was likely due to Dazai’s age and, perhaps, the reasons behind his promiscuity. Sex had just been another tool in Dazai’s arsenal, and although his attitude towards it had changed a little since, he still struggled to see it as something other than a means to an end.

The only person it hadn’t felt like that with was Chuuya; there was no advantage to be gained by sleeping with Chuuya, no prize to be won or information to be gleaned.

Oda had never found out about that – he had died before Dazai had had a chance to confess, whether he ever actually would have or not, but he thought that out of all of the people Dazai had already taken to bed, Oda would likely look the least dour about Chuuya.

Dazai smiled sadly and took another swig. He couldn’t be sure what his relationship with Chuuya was now, but he liked to think Oda would have approved. Even just his attempt to reconcile would have likely pleased him.

Dazai put the bottle down and lay back, knees bent and feet up on the bench as he gazed up silently at the ceiling. Time ticked by in its own strange fashion and he lost himself in both the past and the present, the two versions of them coalescing in his tired mind.

That was how Yosano found him a little over an hour later.

Dazai heard the doors to the bar swing open, but he didn’t bother to move to see who it was. Within moments he knew anyway, as the sound of Yosano’s heels clipped over the faded carpet.

‘I thought I might find you here.’ She said, appearing over the table he was laying behind.

‘You thought correctly.’ He replied.

‘Preferred a liquid breakfast, did you?’ She asked, picking up the whisky bottle and tilting it in one gloved hand.

Dazai just eyed her from where he remained laying.

‘You doing okay?’ She asked.

‘Fine.’ Dazai shrugged awkwardly. ‘Just needed some space.’

‘I get that.’ Yosano nodded, putting the bottle down and glancing off around the room; sun was streaming in now through the back windows, but Dazai’s table was far enough away to not be affected, and he lay down in shadow. ‘It’s good to get out of that hotel suite. Is it just me or are you starting to go crazy, too?’

‘None of us were sane to begin with, dear Doctor.’ Dazai grinned up at her, his eyes a little glassy.

Yosano clicked her tongue.

‘That is true.’ She acquiesced eventually. ‘I am missing the others, though. Especially the kids.’

‘Mm.’ Dazai hummed – he had been missing Atsushi’s positive presence, too. There hadn’t been too many days since Atsushi had pulled him out of the river that Dazai had not seen the were-tiger, and he found he missed him. That was probably a good thing, he thought. Proof of his changing ways… he thought about Akutugawa then and shuddered.

‘Kunikida is running a tight ship, though.’ Yosano continued, oblivious to Dazai’s inner feelings.

‘Oh, absolutely.’ Dazai agreed flatly. ‘I’m sure he’s never got so much work done in his life.’

‘Is he still chasing you on overdue reports?’ Yosano asked.

‘I don’t know.’ Dazai said truthfully. ‘I’ve blocked his emails.’

Yosano laughed, shaking her head.

‘You are such a nightmare.’ She laughed. ‘Give the poor guy a break. I’m sure you nearly gave him a heart attack the other day.’

‘Hm?’ Dazai frowned.

Yosano levelled a knowing look at him, one dark eyebrow cocked.

‘You know.’ She insisted. ‘Your terrible flirting to make Chuuya jealous.’

‘I don’t know what you mean.’ Dazai said, looking away from her and back to the ever-so-interesting ceiling.

Yosano huffed and rolled her eyes.

‘He already dislikes the guy.’ She said, ignoring Dazai’s attempt to ignore her. ‘He didn’t need more ammunition.’

‘Who hates who?’ Dazai asked.

‘Stop being dense on purpose.’ Yosano scolded him. ‘Chuuya. He hates Kunikida and you know it. Your toxic, macho bullshit is so laughable.’ She sat down then on the bench beside his head with a huff. ‘That’s both of you, by the way. Atsuko has clocked it too. The pair of you butting heads and playing games when everyone can see how head over heels you both are.’

Dazai titled his head back so he could see her better.

‘What?’ He frowned.

‘I’ve known you for two years.’ She said seriously. ‘Never once have you done anything you didn’t want to, especially not if you felt like someone else wanted you to. You would rather pass out in the field than admit you needed rest.’

Dazai just continued to look at her – she was right, of course, but he had no desire to give her that satisfaction.

‘But,’ Yosano said, her dark eyes twinkling down at him. ‘Chuuya offers to help you sleep and off you skip.’

Dazai swallowed heavily, his eyes narrowing at her wicked grin.

‘That isn’t what happened.’ He said.

‘Is it not?’ Yosano asked, head titled to one side in playful jest. ‘Why else would a Mafia Executive, who by all means hates your guts, disappear into an entirely separate suite with you for the afternoon, huh?’

Dazai looked at her for a moment longer before sighing and laying his head back down flat. There was no use dancing around Yosano’s questions, for all he often tried, but her frank directness was something Dazai admired, and it often drew an unexpected honesty out of himself.

‘Because Chuuya is a bleeding heart.’ Dazai said, rolling his eyes; ‘He always has been. He picks up waifs and strays and has the insane notion that he’s responsible for them.’

‘Is that how he feels about you?’ Yosano asked.

‘You would have to ask him that.’ Dazai answered.

Yosano raised one delicate eyebrow and Dazai sighed.

‘Yes, I assume so.’ He said through gritted teeth, eyes still on the ceiling beams above. ‘He was my partner for almost four years so in his strange, tiny little mind, he is still responsible for me. Ranpo had him believing my wellness would affect the job and damn Chuuya is loyal to a fault. So, he stepped up, like he always will, because he feels it is his duty. That’s all.’

Yosano crossed her arms over her chest and appraised Dazai for a moment, unaccustomed to seeing him this close to flustered; there was no derisive grin, no knowing sparkle in his dark eyes, just a painful honesty that she almost felt guilty to have drawn out. His brow was furrowed and as he lay there on that bench, dress shirt ruffled and eyes bleary - he looked tired and much older than his twenty-two years.

‘No-one can make you do something you don’t want to do.’ She said eventually.

Dazai sighed heavily pushed himself upright, turning until he was sitting adjacent to Yosano.

‘I need a drink.’ He said stiffly.

Yosano nodded towards the bottle and Dazai sighed, picking it up. He took a swig then offered it to her, but she raised a gloved hand to say no.

‘It goes both ways.’ He found himself saying, swirling the amber liquid around the bottom of the bottle he held delicately between long fingers. ‘I don’t feel responsible for the tiny idiot, but I trust him.’

‘Even though he’s on a very different team?’ Yosano asked; she was sitting back on the bench, shoulders leaning against the padded back of the booth, arms folded casually over her chest.

‘That doesn’t matter.’ Dazai shrugged her off. ‘All of that… good and bad… light and dark… it’s irrelevant.’

Yosano tilted her head in a way that suggested it was very much not irrelevant, but Dazai just took another swig and shook his head.

‘He’s here now, isn’t he? So is Higuchi.’ He said with a shrug. ‘When it comes down to it, there are bigger issues at play. Mori will always lend his people out if he feels it is necessary and Chuuya will always do as he is told.’

‘Does that annoy you?’ Yosano asked, the question surprising Dazai.

He looked at her as he gently tapped the bottle atop the dark table.

Did it annoy him? He had always taunted Chuuya as a dog, but he was Mori’s attack dog through and through.

‘Sometimes.’ He admitted, thinking of Chuuya’s blind agreement to recruit Atsuko without stopping to think of the consequences of that action. ‘His loyalty can be his downfall, too.’

‘To you?’ Yosano asked.

Dazai stared at her, eyes wide.

Dazai never regretted leaving the Mafia, would never regret chasing the light as Odasaku had told him, but he would always regret leaving Chuuya there. Dazai had orchestrated the downfall of The Sheep in order to drag Chuuya into the Mafia with him, and then he had left him there. Chuuya had thrived in the dark, had bloomed and blossomed as Kouyou would say, but that didn’t leave Dazai bereft of guilt. He had no way of knowing how Chuuya’s life might have turned out if they had never met, but whatever Chuuya had done or been through since joining the Mafia was ultimately Dazai’s fault.

Despite that, none of that was what Chuuya held against Dazai. No, Chuuya’s resentment came from Dazai’s disappearance, and even after that, he was still seemingly willing to give Dazai another chance. After all, why else would a Mafia Executive disappear into a separate suite for an afternoon with him?

He sighed heavily.

‘Yeah.’ He said honestly, his throat tight. ‘Probably.’

Yosano sighed and leant forward, leaning her elbows on the table to gaze across at him; Dazai didn’t like the way she was scrutinising him, but he allowed it.

‘He trusts you.’ She said softly. ‘And you trust him.’

‘Chuuya didn’t use his corrupted form for four years.’ Dazai said slowly, looking down once more at the bottle on the table between them. ‘But the moment I resurfaced, he used it again willingly. I had walked away from him, from the Mafia, without a word, but he still trusted me enough to save him.’

Yosano watched him quietly, not daring to speak.

‘And he did so again when the Government told him I was dead.’ He said, referring to the conflict with Shibusawa. ‘And I was able to carry out my plan because I knew he would.’

Yosano swallowed as she nodded, an understanding of the unity Dazai and his ex-partner shared beginning to make sense to her. Chuuya had risked his own life on his unwavering conviction in Dazai, and Dazai had put absurd plans into motion thanks to his own certainty over Chuuya; they didn’t need to like one another; they just needed to trust each other.

‘I can hate Chuuya.’ Dazai said, glancing towards her. ‘I can hate who he is and what he stands for. I can think him ridiculous, and foolish, and temperamental, and sentimental, and outlandish, and slow, and laughably short with terrible fashion sense –’

Yosano cleared her throat, one eyebrow raised.

‘But I trust him.’ Dazai finished with a shrug.

‘That’s it?’ Yosano asked softly.

‘That’s it.’ Dazai sighed, rubbing a hand at his warm cheeks and wincing at the stubble he had neglected to take care of. ‘I was burning myself out and you all knew it. Ranpo could see the damage I was doing but only Chuuya could convince me to take a break.’

‘And that all comes down to trust?’ Yosano asked, sceptical.

‘Yeah.’ Dazai sighed, suddenly feeling very tired.

‘You feel safe with Chuuya.’

Dazai looked up at her and smiled, but it was not one of his mocking or belittling smiles; it was a soft, sad smile that Yosano did not like, because she understood the pity in it as he wordlessly answered the question she had not spoken. Dazai felt safer with a Mafia Executive that he did with the Agency, and that stung.

‘Chuuya has seen me at my weakest.’ Dazai said softly, one thumb absently running over the covered bandage of his wrist as he lay them in his lap; how could these people, who had taken him in in the light, ever expect to see or understand the man he had been, the man he could still be, in the dark? The things Chuuya had witnessed, the things Chuuya had stopped, the things Chuuya had been a part of – the Agency could never comprehend. The vulnerability Chuuya had clawed out of Dazai had been raw and painful and real, but it had been necessary at the time. Dazai was in no rush to show that to anyone else, ever again.

Yosano attempted a smile and Dazai sighed.

‘That doesn’t mean I don’t trust you. All of you at the agency.’ He told her, looking directly into her own dark eyes. ‘But you must understand… a Mafia life is very different.’

Yosano took a deep breath then nodded.

‘I’m grateful to you all, and I consider you all my friends.’ Dazai smiled seriously. ‘But there is a level of vulnerability with Chuuya that I don’t think I will ever get elsewhere.’

‘You don’t think?’ Yosano asked quietly, reaching across to take Dazai’s shaking hands in hers.

‘No,’ Dazai said quietly. ‘I don’t. And I don’t want to. This is my journey now. I never want to be that broken around anyone else again.’

‘I understand that.’ Yosano smiled, squeezing his hands. ‘I truly do.’

Dazai nodded quickly as he squeezed back.

‘But there is something I still don’t quite understand.’ She said, causing Dazai to look back up at her.

‘What?’ He frowned.

‘Well.’ Yosano grinned, her lips stretching to show her teeth and Dazai instantly knew he was in trouble. ‘You wax poetical about your bond, but you can’t admit that you like him.’

Dazai drew his hands back from her and scowled at her.

‘Doctor.’ Dazai said seriously. ‘How old are you?’

‘You said so yourself.’ Yosano replied, ignoring him. ‘He’s pretty.’

‘Did I?’ Dazai deadpanned.

‘So how exactly did he convince you to get some rest?’ She asked, and Dazai glared at the glint in her eyes. ‘Did he offer to tuck you in? Kiss you goodnight? Maybe wear you out some?’

‘This is highly inappropriate.’ Dazai said to which Yosano only laughed, but the tension that had been settling in Dazai’s gut abated at her childish goading. He had no desire to discuss his … situation… with Chuuya, but at least this was territory he was familiar with.

‘Alright, Kunikida.’ She grinned. ‘Since when have you been a prude? I vividly remember you telling me about your conquests over breakfast. Poor Kunikida’s face was so red I thought he was going to pass out.’

‘That’s different.’ Dazai said, waving her off. ‘Those women didn’t mean anything –’

‘Oh?’ Yosano pounced. ‘But Chuuya does?’

Dazai spluttered, taken off-guard.

‘I’m not falling for this.’ He said, looking down at her.

‘Like you’ve fallen for Chuuya?’ She grinned. ‘Are you not telling me because there’s nothing to tell, because there is no way you’ve suddenly become a gentleman.’

‘I resent that.’ Dazai said.

‘I’m sure you do.’ Yosano nodded. ‘So, what, did you fall asleep in his arms, protected by your unique bond?’

Dazai glared at her, but her smile only seemed to grow wider.

‘Or,’ she said, eyes glinting. ‘Did you sneak off for something more X-rated.’

‘Yosano.’ Dazai sighed, leaning towards her. ‘I know you live vicariously though my exploits, but perhaps it is time for you to live your own life. Find yourself a woman.’

‘So is that a yes?’ She grinned.

‘It’s a refusal to comment.’ Dazai said.

‘Oh come on, you couldn’t wait to tell me about those twins a few weeks ago, practically burst into my office just to let me know.’ Yosano said with a heavy roll of her eyes.

‘That was to make you jealous.’ Dazai grinned. ‘Would my bedding Chuuya make you jealous?’

‘Only on account of my complete lack of action.’ Yosano shrugged.

‘Hm.’ Dazai hummed. ‘Either way. For once, for now, I’m not divulging.’

‘Wow.’ Yosano chuckled, both eyebrows raised. ‘You really like him.’

‘I never said that.’ Dazai sighed.

‘You didn’t need to.’ Yosano grinned.

Dazai rolled his own eyes and took a final swig from the bottle before clearing his throat.

‘You know, you can be a cold bastard, Dazai.’ Yosano said softly, leaning back to appraise him.

‘Gee, thanks.’ Dazai scowled but Yosano raised a gloved hand to shush him.

‘But this is a new side of you. It’s good. You know…’ she paused, pursing her lips as if deciding whether to speak, but then nodded. ‘I had a chat with Chuuya the first night we were here.’

Dazai just blinked.

‘At the time, he was incredibly angry – at you but also at himself. There is a lot of history to unpack between you and whilst he didn’t tell me everything, he told me enough. You really hurt him last time, and I don’t think he ever really got over that.’

‘I know –’ Dazai begun, but Yosano shushed him again, causing him to glower.

‘I’ve been teasing you but honestly, you’re right. I don’t know what you actually want out of this, but if Chuuya is willing to give you another chance, it’ll do well for you to bear that in mind.’

‘Yosano,’ Dazai half smiled. ‘Are you telling me not to hurt the Mafia Executive.’

Yosano rolled her eyes.

‘Yeah.’ She sighed. ‘I suppose I am. You can be a heartless asshole Dazai, and you already hurt him bad enough once. Just… try to use your brain rather than your dick. For once.’

Dazai laughed at that, both taken aback and appreciative of Yosano’s words. For as much as he held his new co-workers at a distance to himself, Yosano at least seemed to have gained a good measure of him. She understood him well enough to warn him because she could see that whatever it was that was brewing with Chuuya was different to anything else he had pursued. Sure, he had spent days gossiping with her in her office, and evenings out eyeing up potential dates, but this was different, and she got that.

Dazai smiled at her, grateful.

Oda may have been gone, but it seemed there was space in Dazai’s life for friends, after all.

--

Chuuya was not around when Dazai and Yosano returned to the suite in the early afternoon – he had already been through the reports with Higuchi, and now it seemed he had other business to attend to.

It was making Dazai antsy, but he fought hard to conceal it by finding new ways to antagonise or frustrate his co-workers, including both Kunikida and Atsushi, who could still be irritated via text.

In the confines of him room, Chuuya sat at the dark desk, laptop open and waiting for the call he was expecting. He had only seen Dazai briefly that morning, then when he had returned after showing he had been missing. He had hoped his disappointment had not shown on his face, but the longer Dazai stayed away, the more uneasy Chuuya had grown.

He had been unable to read Dazai’s face that morning as the bastard was keeping it purposely blank, so he had no way of knowing whether Dazai regretted their kiss or not.

If he did, that was fine, Chuuya was an adult and could deal with rejection, even if it strung. The thought of the humiliation that would bring pricked at his insides, but he couldn’t focus on it. The thought of Dazai wearing him down just to drop him again wasn’t impossible, but a small part of him still thought it was unlikely. Dazai had seemed so sincere, and Chuuya really believed he was changing for the better… but then Dazai was a fantastic actor, and a brilliant chameleon. There was every chance that this was all just another disguise, and Dazai’s true intents were something else entirely.

He sighed as the call flashed and Akutugawa’s dark figure appeared on the screen. He was, as always, dour, but his barely there eyebrows furrowed slightly as he looked at Chuuya through the screen.

‘Chuuya.’ He said, his tone as low as always. ‘You look unhappy.’

Chuuya just waved him off.

‘Report.’ He said instead, allowing Akutugawa to launch into the reason for his call.

Chuuya sat and listened as best he could to the updates Akutugawa had for him, commenting or offering suggestions where necessary, but it was a little difficult for him to really concentrate.

At times, within the walls of the hotel, it was hard to remember he was still Chuuya Nakahara, Executive of the Port Mafia… the comings and goings of his organization felt trivial when he was so far away, and so detached from his work there. It was harder to place the right amount of concentration on it, but he still tried to keep up with Akutugawa’s briefing.

Once Akutugawa seemed to be done, Chuuya leant with his head propped on one hand.

‘Chuuya, if I may have permission to speak freely?’ Akutugawa asked.

Chuuya sighed and removed his hat to run his hand through his hair; what he really wanted to say was no, you may not, but instead he shrugged his affirmation as he returned his hat to his head.

‘You seem a little distracted.’ Akutugawa said.

‘Mm.’ Chuuya nodded. ‘I probably am. Sorry.’

‘No need to apologise.’ Akutugawa said. ‘I just want to make sure you are doing okay.’

Chuuya grinned at the camera and at the sullen man on it.

‘I’m fine.’ He said. ‘Thank you for your concern. It’s just… being stuck here, in one place, isn’t easy.’

Akutugawa nodded firmly; Chuuya knew he could emphasise – he was not a man who enjoyed being kept down himself, and was very rarely seen around the Towers unless there was a meeting to attend. Both Akutugawa and Chuuya had spent time on the streets, and it was hard not to grow used to that nomadic lifestyle. Chuuya seemed to have grown more accustomed to it that Akutugawa had, though, filling his penthouse with expensive belongings to try and carve a space out for himself, whilst Akutugawa remained minimalistic.

‘And how are… things… there?’ Akutugawa asked.

Chuuya couldn’t help but smirk; he knew what Akutugawa really wanted to ask – how was Dazai. After everything Dazai had put the boy through, he was still loyal to him. There had been a time, in the beginning, that Chuuya was sure Akutugawa was going to follow Dazai, and perhaps he would have if he had known where he had been. Instead, he had channelled his complex emotions into rage and bitterness, honing his ability and rising in the ranks of the Mafia undoubtedly as proof to himself but mainly to Dazai that he was capable. Now that Dazai was back, Akutugawa’s feelings towards him had only twisted deeper, festering bitterness conflated with devotion and equating to a whole rotten mess of toxicity.

But Chuuya couldn’t talk, could he? He himself had spent years forgiving a myriad of abhorrent behaviour on Dazai’s behalf, and even now, after four years, he was still chasing a man that only ever proved time and time again that he was not worth it.

Dazai walked in the light these days, but sometimes it only worked to accentuate the deep shadows within him.

Chuuya smiled darkly.

‘It’s fine.’ He said. ‘It’s not fun being in such close proximity to the detectives, but it’s fine.’

‘Things are progressing well, then?’ Akutugawa asked.

‘Yes, Boss.’ Chuuya grinned, and he saw the way Akutugawa ducked his head down in shame.

‘Apologies, Chuuya.’ He said stiffly.

‘No, I’m only messing with you.’ Chuuya sighed. ‘Loosen up a little, Akutugawa.’

Akutugawa looked back to the camera, but his face was as pinched as ever; Chuuya sighed. He glanced towards his closed bedroom door for a moment before turning back to face the other Mafia member.

‘Actually…’ He said, trying not to sound as wobbly as he felt. ‘Can I ask you something?’

‘Of course.’ Akutugawa nodded sternly, his back straightening in his chair.

‘It’s not strictly work related.’ Chuuya said with a slight grimace. ‘Well, not really.’

Akutugawa was quiet as he waited for Chuuya to elaborate, so Chuuya just sighed and ploughed into it.

‘Are you seeing Atsushi?’

The effect was instantaneous and comical – Akutugawa’s dark eyes widened dramatically and he sat up straighter in his chair, tendrils of Rashomon spiking around his shoulders.

‘I’m not trying to trip you up.’ Chuuya said quickly, noticing Akutugawa’s discomfort through the camera. ‘It’s not a test. I’m just… genuinely curious.’

‘Why?’ Akutugawa asked, his voice tight. ‘I mean… well. Why?’

Chuuya chuckled lightly.

‘I couldn’t help but notice the way you act around one another.’ Chuuya said. ‘It reminded me of… well, somebody else.’

‘I didn’t – I mean – I’m not sure –’

‘Akutugawa.’ Chuuya stopped him. ‘You’re not in trouble, man. I’m not going to say anything to anyone else. I’m just curious. I’m just wondering how it, you know, works.’

‘Works?’ Akutugawa asked weakly.

‘Being on opposing sides.’ Chuuya elaborated.

‘Oh.’ Akutugawa breathed.

‘It’s none of my business.’ Chuuya smiled as Akutugawa fidgeted on the other side of the screen, continuing to struggle with Rashomon as it reacted to his emotions. ‘Sorry for asking.’

‘No,’ Akutugawa replied hesitantly. ‘No, I – well. I didn’t expect you to ask. It took me off guard. I did not realise I was so… obvious.’

‘Nah, you’re not.’ Chuuya sighed. ‘I just – well, I recognised the signs.’

Akutugawa was quiet again as he contemplated this, then he nodded.

‘We have worked together multiple times now.’ He said slowly, and the black tendrils around him slowed until they fell and disappeared. ‘Both of our bosses seem to think our abilities work well together. Dazai, too.’

‘Mhm.’ Chuuya nodded. ‘The next iteration of Double Black.’

‘Apparently.’ Akutugawa nodded, though he looked unimpressed. ‘But over time we… grew to an understanding of one another.’

Chuuya smiled; that he could understand well enough.

‘It was complicated. It still is.’ Akutugawa said quietly. ‘But it’s also… kind of nice.’

‘Yeah.’ Chuuya sighed, rubbing his eyes with the back of his gloves. ‘I guess it’s kind of a theme with Double Blacks’, huh?’

Akutugawa narrowed his eyes at the camera before he nodded once.

‘I had heard rumours that yourself and Dazai were… involved.’ He said.

Chuuya grinned at that.

‘Have you?’ He asked, one eyebrow raising.

Akutugawa cleared his throat before nodding, clearly a little awkward.

‘People would talk, back in the day.’ He said with a slight shrug. ‘You were very tactile. It was sort of just assumed.’

Chuuya rolled his eyes – that was Dazai, hanging off of him at all damn times.

‘So?’ Akutugawa asked. ‘Is it true?’

Chuuya narrowed his eyes back at him – a part of him wanted to remind him of his station, but he had just asked him about his own love life. He sighed.

‘Yeah.’ He said. ‘Sort of. It was complicated.’

Akutugawa was quiet again for a moment.

‘Is that why you asked about Atsushi and I?’ He asked then.

Chuuya leant his head down into his hands and sighed heavily.

‘Yeah.’ He admitted as he looked back up. ‘Being stuck here with him… it’s dredging it all back up. We ended things on… bad terms.’

Akutugawa shrugged like that much was obvious and Chuuya huffed.

‘He’s changed.’ Chuuya said quietly. ‘But I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. He’s trying to be a better man, but that means we’re not on the same side anymore. He walked away from this lifestyle and getting… involved… with me would mean exposing himself to it again. How can that work? How can two people from opposing sides see eye to eye? I mean – can it work? Does it work for you and Atsushi?’

Akutugawa shrugged, brows furrowed.

‘I’m not too sure.’ He said, blinking heavily. ‘Long term, I cannot say. But right now… I am interested to see.’

‘Right,’ Chuuya nodded.

‘Atsushi is… interesting.’ Akutagawa said, and Chuuya was surprised to see him smile – it changed his entire face in one move; from sullen and dour, his face morphed into a lighter, more open version, and all of a sudden he looked his age. ‘He has shown me that there is more to the world than death and violence, and has already changed my perspectives on things I did not know were possible. He has shown me that I am a person, after all, not just a weapon. I think he is the first person to ever view me as that…  He makes every day feel a little easier, a little softer. Perhaps I am being blind and naïve, but if someone like Atsushi wants to take the time to be with someone like me… well. For now, at least, I am happy to see where it may go.’

‘That’s pretty mature.’ Chuuya grinned, watching Akutugawa bristle.

‘Do not tell the were-tiger any of this.’ Akutugawa warned, eyes narrowed into slits.

Chuuya laughed.

‘Do you still call him were-tiger to his face?’ Chuuya asked.

‘Sometimes.’ Akutugawa shrugged. ‘He is a were-tiger, after all.’

Chuuya laughed at that, genuinely amused; the thought of surly Akutugawa, so quick to violence and blood-shed, in any sort of relationship with anyone, let alone the Agency’s own were-tiger, was inconceivable, but somehow it worked. Akutugawa had said Atsushi made each day feel softer, an adjective Chuuya would have never used to describe Akutugawa with all his trauma and his spikes.

‘But we have also been seeing one another outside of work.’ Akutugawa said as if he could read Chuuya’s thoughts of incredulity. ‘It was weird and alien at first, but it feels a little more normal now.’

‘What, like dates?’ Chuuya grinned, and Akutugawa’s pale skin actually flushed.

‘I suppose so.’ The other man said through gritted teeth, glancing away from the camera. ‘Don’t laugh. Did you and Dazai not go on dates?’

‘Dazai, dates?’ Chuuya laughed loudly. ‘No.’

‘No wonder your idea of romance is so messed up, then.’ Akutugawa mumbled, but Chuuya still heard him.

‘We spent enough time together.’ Chuuya shrugged.

‘Slaughtering your enemies?’ Akutugawa said with a raised brow and level of sass Chuuya had not seen from him. ‘Not exactly a breeding ground for romance.’

‘It worked for you and Atsushi, no?’ Chuuya grinned back.

‘Hm.’ Akutugawa nodded slowly. ‘It was a beginning. But it has been good to get to know him outside of battle, too. Undoubtedly there is a history of violence between the were-tiger and myself, so it was worth taking that aspect away to see what may lay beneath.’

‘Geez, man, when did you become so adept at all this shit?’ Chuuya grinned widely, both impressed and surprised.

Akutugawa looked away for a moment.

‘I spoke to my sister.’ He said quietly.

‘Ah.’ Chuuya laughed loudly. ‘That makes more sense.’

‘Anyway.’ Akutugawa coughed. ‘Seeing Atsushi outside of work changed things. I find myself enjoying his company. It is strange but… it is nice, too. I am happy to see where it may go. Perhaps eventually our opposing ideals will not work, and we will drift apart. I cannot say. But for now…’

Chuuya nodded thoughtfully.

‘You know,’ he said, rubbing his chin as he thought back over the extent of he and Dazai’s days together. ‘We spent a lot of time together outside of battle, too. We were partners, and Dazai ended up spending most of his down time in my apartment. I never saw any of it as dating, but I guess it could have been. We spent plenty of nights in the arcade, or just hanging by the pier or various rooftops watching the stars, sharing cigarettes…’

Chuuya cleared his throat and looked back to Akutugawa, who was listening with pursed lips.

‘I think perhaps you are the only person to have ever seen Dazai’s softer side.’ He said, and Chuuya was unsure whether he sounded awed or sad.

‘Maybe.’ Chuuya shrugged awkwardly. ‘I guess we could still do those things… despite everything that has happened, I still care about the fucker, and I’m pretty sure he still cares about me, too. And the sexual chemistry is unmatched.’

Akutugawa grimaced and Chuuya laughed.

‘I admit it is… palpable.’ Akutugawa scowled, making Chuuya laugh harder.

‘Alright. That’s enough.’ Chuuya sighed eventually, grinning at the other man. ‘Thanks for the talk, man. I appreciate it. But breathe a word of any of this to anyone else and I’ll gut you. Especially Kouyou.’

‘I would never.’ Akutugawa nodded sincerely.

Chuuya smiled and said his final goodbyes, then cut the connection on what was probably one of the strangest calls of his life.

Akutugawa had confirmed his suspicions on his relationship with Atsushi, and whilst Chuuya found it strange, he understood the appeal. He was still unsure whether such a relationship could really work, but it was endearing knowing someone like Akutugawa was willing to try. Atsushi must be one special were-tiger.

--

Dazai was absent when Chuuya returned to the common room, but he tried not to let anyone else see that he was looking for him; he had been suspiciously absent all day, and it was beginning to worry Chuuya.

‘Chuuya, are you still using the swimming pool?’

‘Huh?’ He stopped by the sofa, looking to Yosano who had addressed him. ‘Oh uh, I haven’t for a couple of days.’

‘I was going to go down there tomorrow morning with Atsuko.’ Yosano said, stretching her bare feet out onto the coffee table before her as she looked up at Chuuya; she had been painting her toenails a dark purple, the bottle in one hand now as she waited for the coat to dry. ‘I’m not really into the gym but I feel like I need some exercise.’

‘Yeah.’ Chuuya nodded. ‘Makes sense. You want me to ask them to close it?’

‘That feels kind of dirty.’ Yosano said, pulling a face.

‘Why?’ Chuuya grinned. ‘It’s for your safety.’

‘Yeah…’ Yosano sighed. ‘But it feels like throwing our weight around.’

‘There aren’t many perks of being an Executive.’ Chuuya grinned. ‘But throwing your weight around is definitely one of them. Besides, if you’re taking Atsuko, then we definitely need to close it. I’m not risking it, otherwise.’

‘Maybe.’ Yosano nodded with pursed lips.

‘I’ll make the call.’ Chuuya said. ‘You don’t need to feel dirty. I’ll come down with you too, so long as you’re comfortable.’

‘Oh, sure.’ Yosano grinned. ‘I’ll check with Atsuko but I’m not bothered. I’ve been to plenty of mixed bath houses and at least in the pool we’ll all have our bathing suits on.’

Chuuya felt his cheeks flush as Yosano laughed – he wasn’t sure if he was flattered or offended that Yosano clearly did not see him as a threat.

‘Hey, good job on getting Dazai to sleep, by the way.’ She smiled as she returned to her toes, dark eyes down and focussed on them.

Chuuya, who had still been ruminating on her previous comment, was taken off guard.

‘Oh,’ he said. ‘Yeah, it wasn’t too difficult. Just did the same thing I used to do when we were kids and stayed until he had fallen asleep.’

‘Oh?’ Yosano smiled, glancing up. ‘That’s sweet. I guess he’s never been a good sleeper then, huh?’

‘Not at all.’ Chuuya shrugged. ‘I don’t think he can turn his brain off.’

‘Makes sense.’ Yosano nodded. ‘I suppose having you around calms that big brain down then?’

‘Maybe.’ Chuuya frowned. ‘I think he just feels comfortable enough to switch off if I’m there, you know?’

‘Yeah.’ Yosano nodded firmly. ‘He said it was because he trusts you.’

‘He did?’ Chuuya frowned, surprised. ‘Huh.’

‘Oh, yeah.’ Yosano shrugged. ‘Told me all about the bond you share.’

Chuuya looked at her then, seeing the smile for what it was.

‘Are you winding me up?’ Chuuya frowned.

‘A little.’ Yosano grinned.

Chuuya sighed and sat on the sofa opposite her, wrinkling his nose slightly at the strong smell of the nail varnish.

‘He did tell me he trusts you, though.’ Yosano smiled as she settled back into her seat. ‘I wasn’t lying about that.’

Chuuya sighed as he looked at the woman before him, trying to gauge how sincere that smile was.

‘And I’m glad for it,’ she said, eye’s open and honest as she looked at Chuuya’s face. ‘It’s strange, but I understand it. Dazai is a strange, elusive man, but you seem to have a better read on him than most, and I assume that comes from your past together. Strong bonds formed during formative years, and all that.’

‘Are you a psychiatrist?’ Chuuya asked, sitting back and resting his ankle up on his other knee.

‘No.’ Yosano laughed. ‘Just a friend who’s happy her friend has someone he trusts. I must admit I was a little saddened to hear that that level of trust and vulnerability doesn’t extend to us, but I get it.’

‘It’s different.’ Chuuya shrugged. ‘Dazai and I have… history.’

‘Oh, I know.’ Yosano smiled. ‘I don’t suppose I could have gotten Dazai to sleep. He never would have felt comfortable enough.’

Chuuya sat back, one leg bouncing with nervous energy as he looked over Yosano’s face; he had the feeling he was being led somewhere, but her eyes also looked genuinely disheartened, her lips slightly downturned. It must be difficult for all of the agency to know that no matter what they did, there would always be parts of Dazai that he would keep hidden from them. For him to choose to be vulnerable with their enemy over them must have stung.

‘It’s not that simple.’ He shrugged, going for nonchalance and opting not to look at her in hope that his cheeks weren’t flushing. ‘I stayed in the bed with him.’

‘What?’ Yosano’s dark grin was back as her eyes snapped up to him. Chuuya continued to not look at her.

‘It wasn’t like – weird.’ He said gruffly to the empty seat of the opposite sofa. ‘I just, you know, stayed close.’

‘In the bed?’ Yosano chuckled with evident glee, all hints of sorrow gone from her eyes. ‘That’s pretty close. So, it was less the safety and more the prospect of cuddles, huh?’

‘We didn’t – we didn’t cuddle.’ Chuuya said roughly, his face flushing.

Yosano just grinned, clearly not believing him.

‘This is very different from our first conversation.’ She said, crossing her arms over her chest as she appraised him. ‘You were full of rage and pain. And now look… cuddling in bed.’

‘Fuck off.’ Chuuya scowled. ‘It wasn’t – I didn’t – I mean that wasn’t the plan.’

‘So you did!’ Yosano beamed.

Chuuya spluttered as Yosano laughed.

‘Oh you’re too easy.’ She grinned.

‘Don’t say that.’ He hissed miserably, realising now with late regret that he had fallen directly into her trap. ‘I’m not – we didn’t do anything we just – I mean we only –’

‘No, no!’ Yosano said quickly, laughing. ‘To rile up.’

‘Oh.’ Chuuya pouted, his face hot. ‘Right.’

Yosano raised her eyebrows at him and Chuuya grimaced.

‘Only what, though, Chuuya?’ She grinned, leaning forward in her seat to look at him.

Chuuya sighed heavily and tipped his head back, accepting defeat. It was clear that once this sadistic doctor got a scrap, she would not let go until she had the full meal, and Chuuya knew now everything had been a ploy to get here. For a Mafia Executive, he was pretty damn stupid.

‘We kissed.’ He told the patterned ceiling above them, his heart in his throat; he had no idea why he told her, but he had the feeling she was going to get it out of him one way or the other.  

‘Oh my god.’ Yosano laughed, and Chuuya still refused to look at her, berating his own stupidity. ‘I knew it.’

Chuuya took several deep breaths before looking back at her, face pinched.

‘Was it good?’

‘I’m not telling you that.’ Chuuya snapped, face hot.

‘But you enjoyed it, huh?’ Yosano pried with a sadistic grin.

Chuuya turned away from her with a huff, his face flushing red. Yosano cackled.

‘Shut up.’ Chuuya sighed, pulling his hat down over his eyes.

‘Ah don’t be like that.’ She chuckled. ‘I think it’s sweet, really.’

Chuuya just huffed from beneath the brim of his hat, which sat low on his burning face.

‘I mean, kind of gross, but sweet, too.’ She said. ‘Was it a good kiss? As good as you remembered? Had he improved? I’m curious!’

‘Don’t be!’ Chuuya snapped. ‘I’m a Mafia Executive and we are not friends.’

‘Ah.’ Yosano shrugged easily. ‘Come on. Indulge me.’

‘It was fine.’ Chuuya growled.

‘Just fine? That why you’re not eager to repeat it?’ Yosano asked.

‘I didn’t say –’ Chuuya began, stammering.

‘Oh, so you do want to repeat it?’ She asked, eyes wide and eager. ‘Does he know that?’

‘I don’t – I haven’t spoken to him.’ Chuuya grumbled.

‘Ah,’ Yosano nodded sagely, sitting back in her seat. ‘That’s why you’re both acting weird.’

Chuuya just looked at her.

‘Dazai was all sullen and secretive this morning.’ Yosano shrugged. ‘And you’ve been hiding out in you room –’

‘I’ve been working.’ Chuuya said gruffly.

‘-Because you haven’t had a damn conversation. Neither of you know where you stand. God, you’re both so insufferable.’

Chuuya glared at her, arms crossed.

‘You are both so into each other that neither of you can see it.’ Yosano sighed.

‘Don’t make it weird.’ Chuuya sighed, pouting at her gleeful face.

Yosano paused, looking at him; as Chuuya chewed the inside of his lip, the malicious glee in her eyes dimmed a little.

‘You’re worried he thinks it was a mistake.’ She said. ‘Do you think it was a mistake?’

Chuuya took a moment to readjust his hat as he thought.

‘I mean, yeah.’ He said honestly. ‘Last time we did this… well. You know that story. I don’t think either of us should be in any hurry to repeat that.’

‘Chuuya.’ Yosano said softly. ‘I understand that. But you’re both different people now.’

‘Maybe.’ Chuuya agreed with a half-hearted shrug. ‘But the history is still there.’

‘It is.’ Yosano agreed with a nod. ‘But maybe this is a chance to rewrite some of that. Or better yet, close that chapter and write a new one. Or maybe not. But it doesn’t have to be a bad thing.’

Chuuya didn’t answer that; he wasn’t sure how he could. Whilst a naïve part of him liked the idea of starting fresh, he wasn’t sure whether it was possible between himself and Dazai. Anything between them was like reopening old scar tissue, and the healing was never easy or clean.

He had gotten used to living with the scars, but none of it had been easy. He had grown up, moved on, carved out his own path outside from Dazai’s shadow, but he had never stopped loving the man. Loving the scarred, twisted, fucked-up boy he had been, and now it felt like he was falling in love with the man he had become. Part of it felt promising, new and enticing, but a lot of it felt dangerous, like a relapse. He didn’t know if his heart could take another round.

‘It’s whatever.’ He said intelligently, choosing to ignore Yosano’s snicker.

To his relief, she did not say any more as Atsuko joined them and Yosano offered her the nail polish in exchange for a paperback Atsuko had been reading. Chuuya sat back and just watched them quietly, his brain exhausted.

Perhaps an hour later, Dazai emerged from his room to complain loudly about Kunikida and his insistence on working. When no-one responded to him, he sighed a world-weary sigh and threw himself down into Yosano’s lap, bemoaning his difficult and cruel life. Yosano simply lifted her book to allow him space, not even looking down as he settled his head in her lap.

Chuuya watched from the sidelines as Dazai settled in; she was reading the paperback, held up in one hand, whilst the other one drifted down to gently scratch through Dazai’s hair.

Dazai knew that a lot of his attachment to Chuuya had grown from him being the only person Dazai had allowed to get close to him during his mafia days – not his initial interest, that had been sparked by Chuuya as a person, but the continued attachment. As a teenaged mafioso full of hate and hurt and misery, it had felt alien for Dazai to let anyone near, but overtime they had grown closer, perhaps due to simple proximity. There had been nights where Dazai had laid with his head in a similar fashion across Chuuya’s lap, with Chuuya absently stroking through his hair.

Chuuya had known this, too. Dazai had always shied away from physical contact, wincing or flinching if anyone else within the mafia had attempted to get too close. Chuuya had been different, and once their relationship progressed, he had felt a strange pride in the fact that he alone was able to freely touch and comfort the other teen.

Sat as he was on the other sofa, Chuuya was reminded of this, and it caused him to pause as he looked over at the sofa opposite him.

Dazai had forgone his long coat, and had also removed his waistcoat, so looked remarkably casual and relaxed across the sofa, long legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles, his head resting softly in Yosano’s lap. His eyes closed briefly as he soaked in the comfort Yosano had deigned to give, dark lashes brushing lightly across his pale cheeks, but they soon opened again and found Chuuya once more.

Their eyes locked across the room and Chuuya found himself swallowing; Dazai adjusted slightly, leaning his head up into Yosano’s touch as he looked over at him.

Emotions whirled within Chuuya’s chest, and he had to take a moment to try to wrestle with them, attempt to understand them. Ridiculously, there was jealousy as he watched Yosano’s nails scratch into Dazai’s dark hair, knowing that at one time he was the only person allowed to do that. He almost wanted to storm over and shoo her away, take her place and cradle Dazai’s head himself. That thought was so ludicrous that a wave of anger joined the jealousy.

There were more complex feelings beneath that though, and they made him feel even more foolish. For everything Dazai had done, for everything he had put him through, Chuuya couldn’t help but feel glad that Dazai had allowed himself to open up and grow close enough to feel comfortable with his new colleagues. Chuuya wondered whether Dazai even realised how far he had come.

It showed that Dazai had changed – allowing this level of closeness suggested Dazai was no longer holding people at arm’s length, which in turn suggested he was no longer so flighty in life.  Yosano may have lamented Dazai’s lack of trust in them, but she had no way of knowing how special this level of intimacy from Dazai truly was. To allow himself to exist so openly in another’s space was revolutionary, and it soured Chuuya’s insides. As painful as it was to see, Chuuya was man enough to acknowledge the distance it meant Dazai had come, the space in which he had grown. Dazai had allowed these people into his life, had shown them a level of trust and security he had only ever shown to Chuuya, and that was as astounding as it was painful. It suggested these connections were worth making because he intended to stay around this time, and whilst that hurt Chuuya, enough time had passed for him to feel a genuine happiness for the man Dazai had become.

If this version of Dazai intended to stick around, perhaps that meant Chuuya could put some real trust in him now. Chuuya had been holding Dazai at his own emotional arm’s length, but maybe, just maybe, he didn’t need to.

Dazai still trusted Chuuya, that much was clear from the way he had trusted Chuuya enough to fall asleep with him – that was still something Chuuya had over the agency detectives. It wasn’t a competition, but Chuuya couldn’t help but feel a little smug.

Dazai continued to gaze at him from Yosano’s lap.

‘This is very cosy.’ Chuuya said, sitting back and throwing one arm over the back of the sofa, much more casual than he really felt.

Yosano put her book down – directly into Dazai’s face – and looked at him. Dazai spluttered and batted her away.

‘Typical.’ Dazai scowled, wriggling to regain comfort. ‘I was so comfortable until you opened your mouth, Chuuya.’

‘Oh, my deepest apologies.’ Chuuya grinned, not sorry at all.

Dazai scowled at him but Chuuya just grinned back; Yosano sighed and shifted, knocking Dazai aside.

‘I’m going to make some tea, anyway.’ She said, placing her book down with much more care than she had when she had dropped it on Dazai’s face. ‘Dazai, get up, you lump.’

‘So rude.’ Dazai scowled up at her, but he did as she asked, groaning dramatically as he pushed himself up to sitting and ruffling his hands through his mop of dark hair.

Yosano stood up, paused to smooth down her skirt, and looked pointedly at Chuuya. Atsuko, seeming to notice this, uncurled herself from her own place and joined Yosano, following her over into the kitchen and whispering something close to Yosano. Chuuya watched them walk away with trepidation.

Dazai pulled his fingers though his hair then stood up, and Chuuya expected him to take his own leave, but he surprised him by striding over to his sofa and flopping down beside him. He leant heavily into Chuuya’s side and grinned at him.

Chuuya scowled down at him.

‘Why are you in such a good mood?’ Chuuya asked, narrowing his eyes at Dazai’s smile; he was being strangely agreeable considering they had not seen one another all day.

‘Well, I did get a fair amount of consistent sleep last night, thanks to someone.’

Chuuya’s face flushed and Dazai grinned wider.

‘Although, I got the feeling that someone was avoiding me.’ He said, eyebrows slanting as his grin faltered slightly.

‘Huh.’ Chuuya said. ‘I got the same feeling.’

‘You did?’ Dazai asked. ‘Hm. How strange.’

‘Must be something in the air.’ Chuuya said, his chest lightening considerably. ‘Causing paranoia.’

‘Ah, that must be it.’ Dazai nodded. ‘I have been in a meeting with Kunikida.’

The tightness returned and Chuuya nodded with a slight pout, his eyes drifting from Dazai’s face.

‘Although it seems Chuuya would prefer I didn’t speak with my current partner.’ Dazai sang.

‘I never said that.’ Chuuya said dryly.

‘You didn’t need to.’ Dazai replied.

Chuuya huffed.

‘I think your colour is red, Chibi.’ Dazai said sweetly. ‘Not green.’

‘Fuck off.’ Chuuya sighed.

‘I could.’ Dazai shrugged, jostling Chuuya slightly. ‘But I thought Chibi wanted to talk.’

‘What gave you that impression?’ Chuuya asked, still not looking at him.

‘Well, your concern about my avoiding you, for one.’ Dazai replied easily. ‘You were clearly seeking me out for a reason.’

‘Nope.’ Chuuya said.

‘Well. I wouldn’t mind continuing our chat.’ Dazai said.

Chuuya sighed and turned to face him finally.

‘Out chat?’ He asked.

‘Yes.’ Dazai nodded, eyes wide and innocent. ‘From last night. I’m not sure I got to say all I wanted to. I’m sure I had more to say…’

His eyes drifted down to Chuuya’s lips and Chuuya felt his heart begin to race as his cheeks heated further; he forced himself to look Dazai in the eye.

‘Y’know, I expected to come out and find your skinny ass sat up out here this morning.’

‘Is that so?’ Dazai asked, his mouth pulling up into a smirk. ‘That’s funny. Your ass was the reason I went to bed at all.’

‘Huh?’ Chuuya frowned at him.

‘I knew if I stayed out here looking at your bedroom door all night, I’d end up knocking.’ Dazai said, his voice dipping low. ‘And I reckoned there was a good 85% chance you would let me in, and once you let me in…’ Dazai waggled his eyebrows suggestively. ‘Well. I’d want to see if you kissed as well in this hotel suite as the other one.’

‘Dazai!’ Chuuya hissed, smacking him hard on the forehead; Dazai winced but laughed as Chuuya looked hurriedly around the room – thankfully, Yosano and Atsuko were still in the kitchen and the sound of boiling water likely drowned them out anyway. Ranpo and Higuchi were in their own rooms.

‘Be quiet, you idiot.’ He hissed.

Dazai grinned and leant back, head tilted back towards the ceiling, no regret or shame visible. Chuuya glared at him.

‘Well.’ Dazai said, his eyes sliding to look sideways at Chuuya. ‘Would you have let me in?’

Chuuya narrowed his eyes, but his face flushed. He had spent most of the night tossing and turning, his mind full of thoughts of Dazai. He had refused to touch himself out of principle, the thought of jerking off to Dazai whilst he was only a wall away felt dirty and crude, but it had taken him some time to calm both his mind and body.

Kissing Dazai had been like a fever dream, and it had brought all of his attraction to the surface. He had forced them to part and gone to bed to try and put some much needed distance between them, but if Dazai had knocked in the middle of the night…

Chuuya was, after all, human. And humans were weak.

Chuuya looked away and Dazai chuckled; he reached between them and took Chuuya’s chin in his hand, twisting him until he was facing him again.

Dazai’s greatest asset and, seemingly, Chuuya’s greatest weakness, was Dazai’s charm. He had it in spades, and was disarmingly capable at turning it on – he held Chuuya’s face gently between his slender fingers, his brown eyes smouldering as he gazed into Chuuya’s, his mouth quirked up prettily.

Chuuya’s breath caught as he looked back, his eyes betraying him and dipping to Dazai’s subtle smile. All it would take was the slightest movement and their lips would be touching – Chuuya could feel the heat radiating from the other man, could feel the soft fan of his breath against his own sensitive skin. His mouth tingled.

He pulled back sharply.

‘Stop.’ He said, glancing back towards the kitchen once more. ‘Not here.’

Dazai looked him over for a moment, quiet.

Chuuya leant back and put some space between them.

‘I’ve got a call with Kouyou in a minute.’ He said, frustratingly breathless.

Dazai’s face didn’t change, but his eyes narrowed minutely.

‘We’ll talk after.’ Chuuya found himself saying.

Dazai leant back and Chuuya could see him reapplying the mask.

‘Alright,’ he said with a shrug.

Chuuya sighed, then stood up. He took a moment to look back down at Dazai who was watching him lazily, before heading back to his room. He could feel Dazai’s eyes on him until the bedroom door closed behind him.

--

Chuuya hadn’t been lying; he really did have a call with Kouyou. She had asked him to check in and wanted to go over some Executive level issues. Business issues aside, it was nice to just chat with her, and Chuuya realised he had been missing her company. He would visit Kouyou’s quarters almost nightly back at the Towers, sitting down to tea and to talk over their days. Kouyou was only 3 years older than he was, but had always acted as both a mentor and a sister – she had been there for him since the very beginning, had watched him grow and mature and adapt, as well as see him through his darkest moments – most of those directly after Dazai’s defection. Chuuya had a lot of respect and affection for her.

Dazai, however, did not.

Official business discussed and done with, Chuuya was listening to Kouyou tell him a story and had been laughing, more carefree than he had felt the entire time stuck in this hotel, when the knock on his door came – he turned around too late to see Dazai stroll into his room.

‘Oh, are you still in your meeting, Hatrack?’ Dazai asked as he strolled on in.

‘Yes.’ Chuuya scowled across at him, twisting around in his seat to glare at the intrusion. ‘Can you not just let yourself in?’

‘Chuuya.’ Kouyou said from his laptop screen, calling for his attention. ‘This is highly inappropriate. This vagrant should not be allowed to listen in on Mafia business.’

‘Oh, how lovely to see you, Kouyou!’ Dazai simpered, sidling up to the desk Chuuya was sat at and bending down to beam into the camera, ignoring Chuuya’s attempt to shove him away. ‘I must say, you look so much older! Time has not been kind to you!’

‘I see you still have no respect for your elders.’ Kouyou said sourly, her face pulled taut in distaste. ‘Chuuya. I hope you are not falling into your old ways.’

Chuuya turned back to face Kouyou, his face shocked.

‘What?’ He asked.

‘This all seems very friendly.’ She said bitterly. ‘Remember which side you are on.’

Chuuya’s stomach dropped with shame at the evident frustration on Kouyou’s face – his affection for her was deeper than that of a colleague, and he hated the idea of upsetting or disappointing her. She had been instrumental to not only his elevation and survival in the Mafia, but also in healing what he now knew had been a broken heart when Dazai had disappeared.

Kouyou had never liked Dazai – Dazai had never been friendly or respectful towards her during their time working together, and she resented the casual, easy relationship he had had with the boss; Mori would always put higher stock in Dazai’s opinions than any of his other Executives, even before Dazai had gained that title. It was frustrating for someone like Kouyou who had dedicated her life to the organization to have to answer to a literal child, who insisted on acting like one.

But more so, Chuuya personally believed, Dazai frightened Kouyou. However much she disliked him, she would attest to his intelligence, and his gifts as a strategist, but he was cold and unfeeling even for a Mafioso, and his tactics were cruel and ruthless.

She had never liked Chuuya partnering up with him, and had always tried to ensure Chuuya had other bodies within the Mafia that he could spend time with so that he was not always alone with Dazai. But despite all of her best efforts, Chuuya had grown close with Dazai, and he knew it bothered Kouyou. She had never asked him directly of his particular relationship with Dazai, but Chuuya had a feeling she knew. She had held him during some of his worst days when Dazai had left and having endured her own painful heartbreak, she likely saw it for what it was.

The idea of Dazai sweeping Chuuya back up into his atmosphere was rancid to Kouyou.

‘Don’t worry, Kouyou, we are taking good care of your ward.’ Dazai smiled sweetly into the camera, all white teeth. ‘We are all getting along famously.’

‘Dazai, will you fuck off?’ Chuuya snapped beside him. ‘Why are you here? What do you want?’

‘I got bored waiting for you.’ Dazai smiled down at him. ‘Thought I’d come and hurry things along.’

‘Chuuya, no good will come of you spending more time than necessary with this man-’

‘Oh Kouyou, no need for jealousy. I’m sure Chuuya will be back under your thumb in no time. But until then, it’s been so lovely to speak with you again! Why, I had almost forgotten how poisonous you are!' Dazai interrupted her.

‘For fuck –’ Chuuya growled, wheedling beneath Dazai to face the screen again. ‘Kouyou, I’m sorry. I’ll speak to you again soon.’

‘Chuuya –’

‘Goodbye!’ Dazai called, shutting off the call; the screen went black and Kouyou disappeared.

‘Dazai!’ Chuuya snapped, standing up so suddenly he knocked the chair over. ‘The fuck was that for?’

‘I said already.’ Dazai shrugged.

‘That could have been important!’ Chuuya snapped, hands balled into fists as Tainted thrummed through his blood.

‘It might have been an hour ago.’ Dazai acquiesced. ‘But I assume now it was just idle chit chat.’

‘Still, what gives you the right to come in and shut her off –’

‘I was missing you.’ Dazai interrupted, closing the lid to Chuuya’s laptop and stepping forward to crowd him against the desk. ‘I got bored of waiting.’

Chuuya glared at him, but as Dazai’s warmth crowded him he found himself losing interest.

‘Kouyou is important to me.’ He said, trying to keep his voice stern. ‘Why do you antagonise her?’

‘Oh, Chuuya, why do I do anything?’ Dazai just smiled, his hands ghosting across Chuuya’s hips light enough to tease, but still silently seeking permission.

‘The prospect of upsetting her thrills you, doesn’t it?’ Chuuya glared up at him, refusing to give him what he so obviously wanted.

‘Perhaps.’ Dazai admitted with a grin. ‘What would she say if she could see you now, huh?’

‘Nothing.’ Chuuya ground out. ‘Because I’m seconds away from punching you.’

‘Hm.’ Dazai hummed, leaning in and very gently pressing a kiss to the side of Chuuya’s neck, just below his choker and instantly cancelling out the buzz of his ability. ‘Are you?’

Chuuya took in a deep, shuddering breath, his knuckles whitening against the desk; he was frustrated with Dazai, annoyed that he had taken it upon himself to cut his meeting short and storm in. It was so perfectly typical of Dazai, and so reminiscent of their past, that it irritated Chuuya. Dazai would always see Chuuya as his.

‘I’m not your toy to mess around with. Pick up and drop whenever you feel like it.’ He said tightly as Dazai continued to kiss lightly across his throat.

‘Mhm.’ He mused.

‘And so obvious.’ Chuuya muttered, closing his eyes.

‘Oh?’ Dazai murmured.

‘Did anyone see you come in here?’ Chuuya asked, his hands gravitating towards Dazai’s hips. He squeezed when Dazai didn’t answer him.

‘No.’ Dazai sighed, leaning back at last. ‘I don’t think so. Why?’

Chuuya pouted, averting his eyes. Dazai’s lips pulled into a smile.

‘It’s just…’ Chuuya said, trailing off as Dazai looked at him, one eyebrow slightly raised. ‘Urgh. Forget it.’

‘We can spend time together.’ Dazai said lightly, stupid half smile still in place. ‘That doesn’t mean anything salacious is happening… necessarily.’

‘Fuck off.’ Chuuya sighed. ‘It’s just… you know.’

‘Not really.’ Dazai frowned.

Chuuya growled and shoved Dazai back so he could adjust his choker.

‘She wheedled it out of me!’ Chuuya suddenly snapped, not looking at Dazai.

‘Huh?’ Dazai frowned, genuinely lost.

‘She’s a sadist.’ Chuuya said, rubbing a hand across his burning face. ‘I don’t know how you put up with her. She’s sick. She’s a bully.’

‘Chuuya..’ Dazai said slowly. ‘What are you yapping on about now?’

Chuuya glared up at him as he ground his teeth.

‘Yosano.’ He said roughly. ‘She found out about us – you know – kissing.’

To Dazai’s credit, he did not react, just raised one eyebrow as he looked Chuuya over, and Chuuya began to feel claustrophobic, pushed up and crowded against the desk.

‘And how did she find that out?’ Dazai asked simply.

Chuuya looked away in shame.

‘I told her.’ He grumbled.

Dazai sighed.

‘Ah well.’ He said.

‘Oh well?’ Chuuya repeated, indignant. ‘Won’t she tell Ranpo?’

‘Oh, Ranpo already knows.’ Dazai shrugged, nonchalant.

‘What?’ Chuuya yelped.

‘Super deduction…’ Dazai just shrugged wryly.

Chuuya groaned and let his head fall back, his eyes closed.

‘Don’t stress about it, Chibi.’ Dazai smiled serenely. ‘They won’t tell anyone else. Yosano just likes to poke.’

‘So fucking embarrassing.’ Chuuya sighed.

‘Well, I find that offensive.’ Dazai pouted.

‘You should.’ Chuuya glared at him.

Dazai laughed darkly and Chuuya felt him lean in, his lips returning to his throat; he shuddered at the unexpected contact, his eyes having still been shut.

‘You’re unbelievable.’ Chuuya sighed.

‘Unbelievably attractive?’ Dazai pried.

‘Fuck off!’ Chuuya snapped.

He wanted to shove Dazai away, throw him out of his room and close the door in his face, but Dazai’s lips were soft and warm and insistent on his neck and Chuuya was finding it hard to stay mad. He wasn’t usually so pathetic, but the tension between them had been building and building and his resolve was worn so extremely tight after having spent most of the day worrying Dazai was avoiding him.

‘What do you even want?’ He asked.

Dazai shrugged.

‘I can’t check up on my friends?’

‘We’re not friends.’ Chuuya said instantly.

‘Harsh.’ Dazai said against his throat, his lips moving up to just beneath Chuuya’s ear and drawing another shudder from him.

‘I thought you might want to talk about things.’ Dazai said slyly between kisses.

‘Not particularly.’ Chuuya said, subconsciously tilting his head to allow Dazai better access.

‘Hm, I suppose you already did that with Yosano.’ Dazai sighed. ‘My, Chuuya, I never realised you were such a gossip.’

‘Oh, fuck off.’ Chuuya snapped. ‘You’re lucky I’m even entertaining you at all, after you accosted me.’

‘Accosted you?’ Dazai laughed, leaning back and gently cupping Chuuya’s face so that he was looking at him.

‘Yep.’ He said sulkily, refusing to meet Dazai’s eyes. ‘Wore me down then emotionally manipulated me.’

‘Chuuya.’ Dazai said seriously, his fingers tightening against Chuuya’s chin. ‘Is it so hard to admit that you are attracted to me?’

Chuuya stuck out his bottom lip in a pout that was very similar to one Dazai would often sport, and the look only had Dazai chuckling in delight.

‘Pesky feelings aside,’ Dazai sang, ‘you can at least admit you want me carnally, right?’

His other hand had found its way back to Chuuya’s waist, fingers digging into the fabric of his clothing.

‘Dazai!’ Chuuya snapped, meeting his eyes now.

Dazai allowed said eyes to sweep over Chuuya’s face and down to his exposed throat before he smiled, tongue sweeping slowly over his teeth before leaning in and sucking hard on the exposed skin, drawing a whimper from Chuuya. Chuuya tried to fight it as heat rolled through his core, pleasure swirling hot in his gut. Dazai’s mouth was hot and his tongue was insistent against his pulse, and Chuuya’s very fragile resolve fractured.

‘Fuck.’ He snapped, reaching up to grab Dazai’s hair to yank his head up – Dazai grimaced at the pain, but his eyes were still gleaming. ‘You’re a fucking asshole.’ Chuuya told him, before pulling his head down and connecting their lips. He could still feel Dazai’s smile against his mouth, but it soon softened as he reciprocated the kiss, melting into Chuuya and letting out a soft breath against him.

The frustration faded from Chuuya as Dazai kissed him, his mouth hot and needy on his, desperate after finally getting what he wanted. Dazai took hold of Chuuya’s thighs and hoisted him up onto the desk, pushing him back and leaning heavily into him; Chuuya raised his hips and wrapped his legs around Dazai’s waist, his thighs tightening around him and pulling him close; Dazai stumbled forward a little, the kiss stuttering as he breathed. Chuuya grinned.

They stayed like that for some time, Chuuya’s legs wrapped tight around Dazai’s waist, Dazai’s hands firm on Chuuya’s back as they kissed, their movements growing less refined as they began to seek further friction by rutting into one another.

Needing to breathe, Chuuya broke the kiss – he leant his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, his chest heaving as he tried to get fresh air into his lungs. Dazai leant his own forehead on Chuuya’s shoulder.

‘We shouldn’t do this.’ Chuuya gasped, his head still back but eyes now open to look up at the ceiling.

Dazai didn’t answer, just continued to grind into him, one hand now tightly digging into Chuuya’s thigh.

‘Dazai-’ Chuuya groaned, looking down at the other man. He moved the hand that had been at the back of Dazai’s neck and used it to cup Dazai’s chin, forcing his head up to look at him – the sight almost had him whimpering; Dazai’s dark eyes were completely blown, his cheeks flushed a dark red.

‘You’re so fucking hot.’ Dazai said breathlessly, and Chuuya swallowed heavily, tightening his legs around Dazai’s hips. ‘You have no idea how much I want you.’

‘I do.’ Chuuya laughed, lightheaded as he glanced down to where their equally as hard crotches were currently pressed together. ‘I do.’

Dazai moved to kiss him again, but Chuuya ducked aside, moving his hand to cover Dazai’s lips – he laughed as Dazai looked at him from over his hand, his dark eyes sad and desperate.

‘I’m serious.’ Chuuya breathed. ‘We can’t do this here.’

Dazai grabbed Chuuya’s wrist and pulled it down from his mouth.

‘Here?’ He asked, and Chuuya laughed.

‘My subordinate is outside that door.’ Chuuya hissed, gesturing with his head. ‘Plus your work colleagues. Not to mention the woman we are in charge of protecting. We’re on a job.’

‘Yeah.’ Dazai said simply.

‘Yeah?’ Chuuya asked. ‘Are you agreeing with me?’

‘I am agreeing that everything Chuuya said is correct.’ Dazai replied simply.

‘But you’ve got no issue with us doing this here?’ Chuuya asked, one eyebrow quirked.

Dazai just grinned.

‘Unbelievable.’ Chuuya said. ‘You’ve got no shame.’

‘Chuuya.’ Dazai half laughed. ‘Let me kiss you. That’s all.’

‘Really?’ Chuuya frowned.

Dazai grinned back as he rolled his hips, forcing a shudder out of Chuuya, who glared at him as best he could.

 ‘I have been bereft of you for four years,’ Dazai said seriously, his dark eyes scanning Chuuya’s face. ‘I am happy to just kiss you.’

Chuuya took a deep breath, his eyes on Dazai, one hand cupped to his cheek, the other resting on his shoulder. He narrowed his eyes at him.

‘You are such a fucking smooth talker.’ He said.

Dazai huffed a laugh, his breath warm against his face. Chuuya rolled his eyes, but hiked his thighs higher up Dazai’s waist and pulled him in; Dazai blinked, his eyebrows raising as Chuuya grinned at him.

Chuuya tangled one gloved hand into Dazai’s hair and pulled him back down, enjoying the feel of Dazai’s grin against his own.

They fell into this kiss more languidly, but it soon heated back up as Dazai’s grip on Chuuya’s thigh tightened once again, pulling him flush, his other hand knocking Chuuya’s hat off to wind through his hair. Dazai pushed Chuuya into the desk, crowding him, his hands roaming all over as it progressed and Chuuya pressed desperately into the touch.

‘Fuck,’ Chuuya groaned, breaking apart again and taking a deep breath. ‘Fuck.’

‘Ah.’ Dazai grinned, nuzzling his nose into Chuuya’s warm throat. ‘Is that why you don’t want to do this here, huh? Chuuya still hasn’t learned how to be quite?’

‘Fuck you.’ Chuuya snapped, his face flushing inexplicably hotter somehow. ‘I was seventeen.’

‘Mhm.’ Dazai grinned against his throat. ‘With such beautiful noises.’

‘Shut up, asshole.’ Chuuya sighed crossly, tilting his head to the side as Dazai pressed kisses into his throat.

As he relaxed into the sensation, Dazai surprised him by grabbing his thighs and hoisting him up from the table – Chuuya yelped as he was suddenly brought across to his bed before being thrown unceremoniously onto it with a gasp.

‘See?’ Dazai grinned as he crawled over him. ‘Pretty noises.’

‘Dazai!’ Chuuya snapped, kicking him in the chest as he attempted to climb on top of him. Dazai paused on his elbows and grinned down at him; Chuuya’s temper rose.

‘You don’t know everything about me, asshole.’ He snapped, chest heaving.

‘No?’ Dazai asked sweetly, tilting his head.

‘No.’ Chuuya growled. ‘You took me by surprise, that doesn’t count.’

‘Okay.’ Dazai shrugged. ‘You’re a new man, I suppose.’

‘No.’ Chuuya admitted. ‘But I’m no longer seventeen.’

‘Oh?’ Dazai grinned, one hand sneaking beneath Chuuya’s loosened shirt and skating across his lower abdomen, drawing a shiver from Chuuya. ‘Much more experienced are you, now?’

Chuuya glared up at him, attempting to ignore the fluttering that Dazai’s hand was eliciting.

‘I’d love for you to show me, Chibi.’ Dazai said softly. ‘Teach me.’

‘Dazai.’ Chuuya groaned, his eyes fluttering closed as Dazai leant into him, erection pressing urgently into his thigh.

‘All the other people you’ve fucked,’ Dazai groaned hotly into Chuuya’s ear. ‘At least make it worthwhile and show me what you’ve learned. Show me what you like. Then let me show you that none of the others will ever match me.’

‘Fuck, Dazai.’ Chuuya groaned, arching his back into Dazai’s touch, his head tilting back against the mattress as he gasped. ‘It bothers you, huh?’

‘Nope.’ Dazai murmured.

‘It does.’ Chuuya grinned, breathless. ‘It bothers you that I’ve fucked other people. Other men.’

Dazai groaned against his throat, rolling his hips hard into him.

‘Not at all.’ He said roughly. ‘It turns me on.’

‘Liar.’ Chuuya gasped. ‘You’ve always been a possessive bastard.’

‘Ha.’ Dazai grinned, grabbing Chuuya’s thigh and hitching it higher. ‘Can you blame me? Look at you. Listen to you. Thinking of you with other people… it just makes me want to prove myself. Make you moan harder than anyone else ever has.’

‘Dazai –’ Chuuya groaned, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to control his heart rate. ‘You gotta – you gotta stop.’

‘Stop?’ Dazai asked softly, his breath ragged.

‘Yes.’ Chuuya sighed, eyes closed. ‘We can’t. Not here.’

Dazai sighed, dropping his head down to Chuuya’s chest for a moment as he got his breath under control, then pushed himself to sit up – it didn’t make things any easier, for now he was gazing down at a flushed Chuuya, his hair messed up and ruffled around his head, his shirt hoisted up to his ribs, lips red and flushed. Dazai wanted to ruin him.

He leant his hands gently on Chuuya’s spread knees and looked down at him; Chuuya pushed himself onto his own elbows and looked up. He was quiet for a moment, his bright eyes dancing across Dazai’s face.

‘You talk too fucking much.’ Chuuya said roughly, and Dazai grinned salaciously. ‘Your ego needs checking.’

Dazai just raised an eyebrow and Chuuya sighed, flopping back down onto the mattress.

‘But I’m the fucking idiot who laps it up.’ He told the ceiling and felt Dazai chuckle from where he sat. ‘Stupid, naïve, desperate Chuuya ready to follow you once again.’

‘Chuuya –’

‘But I cannot fuck you here with everyone outside the damn door.’

Dazai closed his mouth, the frown that had been appearing smoothing back out in relief.

‘I know.’ He said breathlessly, his face oddly open. ‘I already agreed –’

‘You’re pushing it.’ Chuuya said pointedly.

‘I’m not –’ Dazai began, but withered under Chuuya’s glare. He swallowed.

‘You always push it.’ Chuuya sighed. ‘Push me. You know damn well I’ll go along with all of your stupid fucking plans. But I gotta – I gotta put a stop to this. I can’t do this right now.’

Dazai sat back on his heels and nodded.

‘It’s not even nighttime.’ Chuuya said. ‘We already got to go out there somehow and I already look – well.’

Dazai sniggered and Chuuya glared at him. Dazai sighed and ran a hand down his face.

‘Alright, Chibi.’ He said, moving to sit beside Chuuya instead. ‘If that’s what you want.’

‘When has that ever mattered.’ Chuuya huffed.

‘I’m trying.’ Dazai said, his arms resting across his knees as he gazed ahead at the door.

Chuuya sat up beside him, appraising Dazai in silence for a moment – he found the other man surprisingly open, and it squeezed his heart.

‘Yeah.’ He said.

Dazai swallowed then chucked Chuuya a much more refined smile; he still looked hot and bothered, but the dark lust in his eyes had died down some.

Chuuya smoothed down his hair and sat back against the headboard with Dazai, who stretched his long legs out in front of him.

‘You looked pretty pleased with yourself for someone whose just been blue balled.’ Chuuya said gruffly.

Dazai smoothed his shirt down before he answered.

‘I know you want me.’ Dazai said. ‘I can coast on that for a while.’

‘Fuck off.’ Chuuya muttered.

Dazai laughed.

‘Fine. Can I at least use your en-suite to cool off?’

‘If you jerk off in my bathroom I’ll smack the shit out of you.’ Chuuya said seriously as Dazai climbed off the bed; Dazai just shot Chuuya a grin over his shoulder before he disappeared. Chuuya sighed and leant his head back against the headboard.

What a fucking mess.

Thankfully, Dazai was able to slip out of Chuuya’s room undetected – though he paused to throw Chuuya a brazen wink just before he disappeared; Chuuya only refrained from throwing a pillow after him so as not to draw attention.

The man was a nightmare – a logistical nightmare. He was cocky and arrogant and egotistical and Chuuya was so frustratingly attracted to him.

He took a long, cold shower and spent some time just banging his head against the cool tile in the hopes it would knock some sense into him.

By the time he returned to the common room for dinner, Dazai had already slunk off to his own bedroom in preparation of avoiding food, so Chuuya was able to relax a little. Although he avoided eye contact and kept his distance from Yosano or Ranpo – he had no reason to suspect them, but he could never be too sure. Instead, he sat with Higuchi, who he was confident remained ignorant if only due to her Mafia status.

Atsuko he wasn’t so sure about, but she had been throwing looks and comments their way for some days now already, so he just avoided her for now too.

What a fucking mess.