Chapter Text
Depressed
It's your Future!
Takumi's POV
Day 19, Afternoon, Takumi's room.
I was still in my room, and I felt so horrible with myself. I was asking myself what to do with my own feelings, with everything in general.
Unfortunately, I was overwhelmed with grief and sadness, especially after Darumi died. When I decided to save Nozomi and the rest of the Second-to-Last Defence Academy members, I left her to die, and then there was me revealing Nozomi's secret to prevent her from being isolated. Much to my misfortune, it left me to bear most of the backlash. Then there was Takemaru's sacrifice to take out V'ehxness. I thought that everything was gonna go just fine, but no, it didn't.
And then there's Yugamu's drug. I was considering digesting it, but the thought itself made me backpedal on it, and I threw the damnable thing into the trash can in my room. I went to see Nigou's secret talents, but it didn't help me at all, then I ended up lashing out at my... Friends, at Yugamu for making that disgusting drug, then towards Nozomi and the rest who were there.
This entire situation is just too much, so the tears started to flood back, but only a little.
"I’m alone… No one is going to help me… *sobs* Dammit…" I sobbed at the prospect of not being able to have even a little help. I know I can't do anything by myself, but if no one is going to help me, then I might as well do it myself after how everything went down on my end.
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After a while, I managed to calm myself down, and I wiped the tears from my eyes with my right forearm. "*sigh* There isn't much I can do aside from going to the library and trying to see if I can find anything there..." I know the library holds many books, and there is a chance that I'll find something there; it might take a while, but it's worth a shot.
"I guess there is no choice then… A new Takumi Sumino… Needs to step up…"
"If not… Then everything will be for nothing…"
"It’s depressing, but… I really have to do it…!" I told myself a fire inside me was igniting, a fire that would guide me through whatever I should expect on this journey.
After regaining my composure, I started cleaning my room to distract myself, then I went to the bathroom to wash my face. After that, I prepared myself mentally for the possibly monumental task I proposed to myself. I don't know how long it's gonna take, but I'm willing to go all the way until the end, no matter what awaits me or what would be waiting for me at the end of the tunnel, I'm still going through with this, and I don't plan on stopping.
After getting myself ready, I walked to the door of my room, opened it, and went out, ready for anything, and while I didn't notice, a tiny transparent blue flame would appear on my right eye as a sign of my determination, but whether it is my Hemoanima responding to my feelings or something else, it's up for me to know and find out.
Nozomi's POV
Day 19, Afternoon, Rooftop, Dorms, some time earlier
I was walking out on the rooftop with some of the girls, Kyoshika, Tsubasa, and Kurara, talking about random topics or anything that could keep the mood entertaining. Kyoshika with her samurai talk and the Holy Jumonji Sword, Kurara with her usual snarkiness and teasing towards Kyoshika, Tsubasa with her comments pointing out how wrong, incriminating, or how out of context Kyoshika's remarks were, as for me, though, I was enjoying the company and the banter between us.
As we were talking among ourselves, just as we were passing by Takumi's room... RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!! We heard someone scream at the top of their lungs; the scream itself startled us. I tried to search where it came from, and... W-Was that Takumi screaming in his room!? I instantly knew where it came from, and immediately, I became very worried for Takumi.
"Goodness me! Was that Sir Takumi!? I-Is he in danger!?" Kyoshika exclaimed, wrongfully wondering about Takumi's safety.
Kurara looked at Kyoshika incredulously and said. "And what part of that brain of yours told you that Takumi is in any danger, you dolt!?" She asked, exasperated.
"Guys, guys, come on! It did sound like a scream of frustration if you ask me..." Tsubasa said, a little concerned for Takumi. "But why...?" She asked, not knowing the reason why Takumi had suddenly let out a scream.
I also want to know as well, but... I don't know if I'm going to like the reason behind it. It was a well-reasoned thought since I still remember how Takumi talked to us back at the gym after Nigou showed us his talents, his tone, and his words, all of it, so I wasn't sure if I wanted to check on him for fear of getting into a heated discussion with him. Besides, I would be invading his privacy, and I didn't want to do that.
But Kurara apparently had other plans when she started to walk towards Takumi's door slowly. "Well, we might as well find out." She said casually.
I was flabbergasted at what Kurara was doing, so I called her out. "K-K-Kurara!? We shouldn't do that! This is-!"
"Oh come on, Nozomi. Sometimes we just have to take more risky or questionable approaches to get what we want, and out of everyone here? You, Nozomi, are the one who's worried about Takumi the most, so just for once, throw your morality away and get over here." Kurara said, interrupting me and explaining when we have to make exceptions. S-She's not wrong... And yeah, I am worried for Takumi... Far more than I should, but I just don't plan on stopping to help Takumi! I don't know why, but I feel like he's far more important to me than he should. Is it just a feeling? Or something more...? Either way! I'm determined to help Takumi no matter what!
Kyoshika was conflicted, torn between going along with what Kurara suggested or not. "T-This is wrong, Lady Kurara! We can't invade Sir Takumi's privacy! W-While I want to help him, this feels wrong..." She said, a little conflicted.
"I-I'm with Kyoshika on this one...!" Tsubasa said in a hushed tone.
"Pff! Yeah right... Keep telling yourself that." Kurara taunted as she slowly kept walking towards Takumi's door.
After a few seconds, we gave up and went with Kurara to peep on Takumi. "J-J-Just for once, I-I'll make this an exception...! Forgive me for this transgression, Sir Takumi!" Kyoshika apologized in a hushed tone.
"*groan* I'm also sorry for this, Takumi!" Tsubasa also apologized in a hushed tone.
I shouldn't do this, but I'm sorry in advance, Takumi! As soon as I apologized internally, we went to put our ears near the door to listen to what Takumi was doing in his room, even though it was wrong that we were doing this to a dear friend.
And then we listened, and unfortunately, we heard something that we didn't like. A-Are those sobs...? I-Is Takumi crying right now...? And yes, it was Takumi sobbing at this moment; it really hurt to hear him like this.
"I-Is Sir Takumi crying...?" Kyoshika asked in a hushed tone, now looking very concerned about what she's hearing.
"Y-Yeah... He is..." Tsubasa replied, looking downcast.
Kurara didn't say anything but just kept listening, and we did the same. Dammit... Dammit all... We heard Takumi cursing, like he wasn't able to take all the pain he's feeling right now. There is so much emotional and mental pain that one can take... Takumi... I wish I could go in there and help you, I really do! It took most of my will not to do anything reckless just to help Takumi, even though part of me was desperately screaming to help him now.
Then we heard Takumi asking himself what he needed to do. I need to change... No... I want to change...! Those were some of the words we heard, along with others similar. "H-He's really desperate... Does he want to change this much...?" Tsubasa asked worriedly, despite the goal sounding admirable on the outside, Takumi's mental state worries us a lot since we don't know what kind of change he's willing to go through.
"I guess... It's on us for pushing Sir Takumi to this point... As painful as it sounds..." Said Kyoshika in a sad tone in her voice, aware that in some way, whether directly or indirectly, we caused Takumi to be like this. It's our fault... It's my fault... We pushed him too far... What kind of friend am I...? The thought of being the cause of this was far more painful to me than it should have been. If the situation and by extension, us, were the cause of Takumi's pain, then I don't want to imagine if it somehow ended up being worse. W-W-What if I somehow ended up pushing him to... to... t-t-to... Nonononononononnonono!!!! I don't want to be the cause of a friend's suicide! I would never EVER forgive myself if Takumi ended up wanting to kill himself because of us!! Or because of me... The thought of being the hypothetical cause of Takumi wanting to kill himself was crushing my heart more than I thought. While my friends may make some mistakes, they're willing to make up for them, but pushing someone with such a good heart as Takumi to that point would be crossing the line. I didn't care if we ended up winning the war, but being the one who caused a dear friend not to want to live anymore would be the breaking point, because it would be almost like it happened with my mother, but worse. As I was having such horrible thoughts, my vision started to become watery as tears started to come out, but I tried to hold them back.
But just as I was somewhat lost in my thoughts... No one is gonna come and help me... NO ONE WILL!! He exclaimed those words louder than normal as if Takumi was convincing himself that he was by himself. H-He doesn't think we're that heartless... D-Does he...? Part of me didn't want to think like this, but unfortunately, Takumi actually believes this. "This is... Takumi thinks that we're not going to help him..." Kurara murttered in disbelief.
"Yeah..." Tsubasa said. "I-I didn't think that... it would lead to this..." She continued, voicing what we collectively thought.
Not even, Nozomi... W-What...? The next words that came out of Takumi's mouth shocked me. The disdain and frustration in his voice made it clear. I looked at Kurara, Tsubasa, and Kyoshika to see their reactions, and Tsubasa had her mouth covered in shock, Kyoshika's face paled a little, and Kurara only had her body rigid. As for me? I felt like the disdain in his voice made it clear, especially his words towards me, and yet they felt like actual daggers going through my heart. B-But... W-Why...? Why me specifically...? I tried to find a reason for this in my mind, but the more I thought about it, the more horrible I felt until eventually I couldn't hold back the tears from coming out.
The girls obviously noticed, and they were about to ask about how I was feeling and if I was okay, but... But if I'm alone, then what can I do...? Just as we were thinking about his disdain towards me, Takumi asked himself what he could do; he was reviewing his own options to get better. "I-If Sir Takumi wants help with his body, then I'm willing to spar with him and improve our swordsmanship..." Kyoshika murmured, suggesting to help in what she could. "W-Well... T-That is if he's willing to accept..." She continued. Of course... Takumi doesn't seem to be in the right state of mind to want to accept help... Especially from me... The thought was more depressing than it was supposed to be, but Takumi didn't seem like he was willing to take my help.
No! That... That is something the old me would think, and then he would just give up... Takumi would suddenly exclaim to himself, almost like he was scolding himself, or rather, his old self. "So he's really serious about this..." Kurara said, voicing what we were thinking, on one hand, it is good that Takumi is taking this seriously, but on the other hand, we were worried about how Takumi was going to handle it.
And as soon as the thought came... A new mindset... That's all I need... I don't have anyone to help or back me up... I'm alone... I just have to get better... Stronger... Smarter... Faster... Improve myself... Nothing is going to stop me... Nothing... NOTHING!!
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Those were the words we heard Takumi say to himself, and safe to say, his tone and everything now had us incredibly worried. H-He... H-He almost sounds like he's obsessed... I know he wants to be better, but... This is not healthy... T-Takumi... Just let me help you... I-I promise that I'll help you... I'm not gonna hurt you... P-Please... I was mentally begging him to accept my help, knowing he wasn't going to listen, but the way he's trying to approach this, with that kind of mentality in that state of mind, isn't truly healthy. I-I don't know what I can do, but I'm willing to do everything I can to help you, Takumi...
"Y-You girls heard that, right...?" Tsubasa asked worriedly, seeing that Takumi's words told us what's going on inside his mind.
"We did... T-This is worse than we initially thought..." Said Kurara, also worried about Takumi, even though she's trying to tough it up behind her mask. "Just what is that idiot gonna do...?"
"I don't know... I wish I could do something about it..." I replied while ignoring the little insult that Kurara said for now.
"We all do, Lady Nozomi... We all do..." Kyoshika said in solemnity. "B-But we all heard what he said and..." She trailed off, voicing the same concern we all had in our minds.
"Yeah... We know... It almost sounded like he was obsessed with this..." Said Tsubasa.
We all nodded at Tsubasa's thoughts on the matter. It sounded like Takumi was truly going to change, but those changes may not be that good for him with the state of mind he is in at the moment.
As we were thinking about this... I’m alone… No one is going to help me… *sobs* Dammit… We suddenly heard Takumi talk to himself a bit more, unknowingly missing some other stuff he told himself, but of course, we didn't miss the sobs we heard, and they were already crushing my heart. No, you're not alone, Takumi! Y-You have us...! E-Even if you don't want to accept our help, we are still going to do so, no matter what you say to us! Or me...
After hearing more of his sobs, we thought that we had just heard enough and retreated from his door and took some distance from his room so he wouldn't suspect that we had been listening to his internal monologue.
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Once we had taken enough distance, Tsubasa was the first one to speak up. "*sigh* Well... That was... I... I don't even know how to describe it..."
I could understand where Tsubasa was coming from when she said that, hearing Takumi's words, what he was going through, and... What he's currently thinking about me... B-But why me specifically...? Just then, Kurara noticed my downcast expression as I was deep in thought. "Nozomi... Is something wrong...?" She asked worriedly.
I tried to avoid having my voice break, but Kyoshika surprisingly caught on. "Is it about what Sir Takumi said...? How he mentioned your name...?" She concluded, surprisingly hitting the mark on my thoughts.
I sighed at Kyoshika's words, thinking that I couldn't hide it, and there was also this aching and dreadful feeling I'm starting to feel due to this whole thing with Takumi. "Y-Yeah..." I replied. "T-The way he mentioned me... A-And with s-such d-disdain... *shaky inhale* *shaky exhale* I-It's like he... H-He..." I trailed off as a few tears threatened to come out.
"H-H-Hey, Nozomi, come on, don't think like that...! T-There's no way, Takumi would actually feel that way about you!" Tsubasa said, trying to reassure me regarding how Takumi feels about me.
"Lady Tsubasa is right! There's no way that Sir Takumi would go as far as to feel that way about you, Lady Nozomi!" Kyoshika said, also trying to reassure me.
"B-But... W-What if he does...? W-What if the damage was so much that it actually reached that point...? W-W-What if... W-What if Takumi... T-T-Takumi actually hat-!?" I replied as I started to hyperventilate, asking myself a question I never want to know in fear of the answer, but I was cut off because...
"Nozomi!" Kurara interjected, putting both of her hands on my shoulders to stop me from having my emotions spiral out of control. "Look... I know what you're thinking... And even if it is true, that doesn't mean you have to give up on him! You wanted to fix our friendship despite my giving you the cold shoulder... If Takumi is so important to you as you're making it seem to be, then don't worry... He'll realize eventually, he needs to see that we actually care, that YOU care...! And if words don't work, then actions will!" Her tone had conviction; she didn't fully sugarcoat the fact that what I thought may be a reality, reminding me of how I wanted to fix my friendship with her.
"Lady Kurara is right, even if Sir Takumi pushes you away, acts cold or harsh or anything of the sort, it doesn't mean that you should despair, so don't yield, Lady Nozomi, and if it makes you feel even a little better, you have our support, so use me at your disposal." Said Kyoshika as she made a slight vow to reaffirm her words.
"We did agree that we would help in showing that we truly care for him, didn't we? So don't worry! We'll help you get up if you ever trip in the process, we are friends in this right?" Said Tsubasa, also reassuring me.
"Girls..." I felt more at ease knowing that there are friends who are actually willing to help; not everyone is truly heartless. Takumi... I hope you understand that there are people who are willing to look past the mistakes we made, or that you made, not everyone blames you for everything, nor everyone is resentful for the good you tried to do, and we are willing to forgive you for everything. I just hope you see reason, but I'm willing to do everything I can! I just hope nothing hampers what we are trying to do.
As I thought of what to do, determined to help Takumi, we saw him opening the door and going outside his room. He looked calmer, but when I saw the look in his eyes from a distance, he looked determined, like he was resolved to go through with what he decided to do, but... I-Is my mind making me see things? Or is that a blue flame in his right eye? I couldn't help but ask myself what I just saw if it was a product of my imagination or something related to his Hemoanima.
"There he goes... God knows what he's going to do or where he's going..." Said Tsubasa as we saw Takumi ignoring our presence, or not noticing that we were watching, since he had his back turned to us.
"Let's just hope he doesn't do anything too stupid..." Said Kurara, sounding somewhat harsh but also concerned for Takumi and for good reason.
As we saw him off and walked to the door of the rooftop, Kyoshika would suddenly speak. "Uh... I hope I'm not the only one here that noticed buuuuuuuut... Did anyone see the tiny blue flame on Sir Takumi's right eye...?" She asked sheepishly.
Tsubasa, Kurara, and I looked at Kyoshika with raised eyebrows and a surprised expression on our faces. "Y-You saw it too...?" Tsubasa asked. So it wasn't my imagination?
"So I wasn't seeing things... Good to know I wasn't drugged or something." Said Kurara.
"So we all saw that... Was it Takumi's Hemoanima...?" I asked, theorizing the nature of what we saw.
"I mean... It's not outside of the realm of possibility... There are still a few things that we don't know about Hemoanima and Cryptoglobin after all..." Tsubasa said. "I wouldn't be surprised if, by any chance, Takumi's Hemoanima responded to his emotions even without his Class Armour..." She concluded.
True... Hemoanima is capable of so many things, things that are unthinkable or impossible to imagine... Like Takumi being able to travel back in time thanks to his specialist skill, one of the many reasons why we are where we are... Even with the knowledge of my mother's research, there are still unknowns about what Hemoanima and Cryptoglobin are capable of and how far we can push this power we were given to fight this war.
"Oh, but that actually looked like one of the many mangas I read! Where the characters are getting fired up, a flaming aura surrounds them! Is it possible that I can do that as well!?" Kyoshika suddenly asked with excitement in her eyes at the prospect of having a flaming aura.
"*snorts* Yeah, sure, see if you somehow don't get burned in the process, you dimwit." Said Kurara with her usual insensitiveness.
And just like that, it was back to our usual banter, reminding me that despite everything that is going on, I still have some hope that everything will work out in the end for all of us. Including you, Takumi... Just wait for me... I'll make sure to show you that you're not alone, you have everyone in the team, and me... I smiled to myself as we walked around the dorm. I don't know why, but I blushed a little at the prospect of holding Takumi's hands or hugging him while comforting him and reassuring him that everything is going to be fine. I don't know where the thought came from, but for some reason, I found myself thinking about it very fondly. Hehehe... Don't worry, Takumi, I'll make sure to get you out of the pain your heart has. It may take a while, but I'm not going to give up on you, never.
Takumi's POV
Day 19, Afternoon, 2F (Second Floor) Hallways.
I was walking around the hallway of the second floor, going to my destination, the Library. I was fully determined to see this through.
I wasn't going to stop.
I wasn't going to run away.
I won't do whatever they want.
I won't let anyone boss me around and expect full compliance from me.
I'm not going to do this because I was forced to, but because I chose to.
I wasn't going to keep being the same old Takumi Sumino.
I'm not doing this for the academy.
I'm not doing this for Sirei and Nigou.
I'm not doing this for my 'teammates.'
And... I'm certainly NOT doing this for YOU, Karua... Or even Nozomi... Especially you, Nozomi.
Much to my surprise, I felt a slight ache in my heart as soon as the thought came in, but it quickly vanished as if it wasn't there to begin with. I ignored what just happened, and soon enough, I arrived at the Library.
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Afternoon, Library.
I entered the quiet place, and fortunately, I was alone, so I didn't waste time and started searching for any book that could actually help me with what I wanted, but... "Dammit... This Library has SO many books! It's going to take a while for me to find what I'm looking for... But... I guess I could 'borrow' some of those books to either improve my knowledge, and if there are books with fighting styles and techniques, then that's even better for me, that way, I can rely on myself only without needing to help anyone."
I kept on searching, and I did find a few books that caught my interest; some of them were in languages I wasn't aware mankind had. "Did the people of the old earth use to speak different languages? I mean... I know there are Japanese and English, but what are these? *picks one book* Spanish...? *leaves the book and picks another* German...? *sees the other ones* French... Italian... Russian...? How many languages did mankind use to have...!?" I asked incredulously, not believing that they had so many languages, but I guess it is because of how much information they withheld; any form of media or information about Earth basically just vanished, and only what was 'considered' important was left for us, but Karua obviously wanted to know more. I bet Nozomi would feel the same way as well.
I had my eyes widen and shook my head as soon as I thought of Karua and Nozomi. "W-What am I doing? Stop thinking about them!" I murmured to myself, reprimanding myself for thinking fondly of them.
I would then switch to other books that talked about martial arts and a few sports. I was looking at the names of these martial arts and their focus on, and honestly, the many books may look overwhelming, but there was this feeling in me, a hunger that was telling me that I needed to devour this knowledge, so of course, I ignored the fear and kept going, and as for what I found... "Karate... Taekwondo... Boxing... Aikido... Ninjutsu... Capoeira... Kung Fu..." I murmured each name of each martial art, and I was becoming more and more fascinated, but this wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but I planned on keeping them to give them a read much later.
As I continued to search for what I'm trying to obtain, I was getting a little bit impatient, but I needed to keep my head cool and not complain. Nothing in this life is ever easy. I want to take a shortcut in this, but I'm doing this my way, and if it's the hard one? Then so be it.
*10 minutes later*
As I was searching for what I thought was the one thing that would make me more powerful, but while I was doing that, I started to read one of the books I took, one of the martial arts one but as I was halfway through the middle section of the book...
“Takumi…?” Someone suddenly spoke from behind.
I would turn around to see who it was, and to my surprise, it was the boy of undying flames who manifested himself.
I could never forget this guy and how important he is; he's pretty much the entire reason why we are going through this mission or this war. In my first 100 days, I thought he was an invader, but he was actually an ally and the one responsible for keeping the wall of fire that was protecting us from the invaders. He can at least keep most of them at bay whenever we have a defensive battle, and we have his powerful Undying Flames to thank for, at least he is the only one I can truly consider as a friend.
“Y-You…? What are you doing here…?” I asked in surprise.
“I was actually looking for you… I appeared in your room, but I didn’t see you there, so I searched around the academy to see where you were, and luckily it didn’t take too long… But I have to ask… Are you okay, Takumi?” The boy asked in concern; he was aware of how our last defensive battle ended, and he wished he could have done more to prevent Takemaru's death.
Seeing that he won’t be getting out without answers, I replied with a tired sigh. “No… I’m not… I’m feeling like trash, and I don’t like it… I just want to change… Become something I can be proud of… But I’m trying to find a way to get stronger, but I feel like it might take ages, but I still have to try!” I explained.
The boy of undying flames could see that I was very serious about this, so after thinking about it, he spoke. “Alright… I can see that you’re very serious… But I don’t know how much I will help…”
“Anything will do just fine… But… Thanks…” I gave him a reassuring smile. Of course, I had to explain what I was doing here at the Library.
*5 minutes of explanations later*
"I see... So you thought you could actually find something here in the Library, right?" The white-haired boy concluded.
"Yeah... That's pretty much the gist of it..." I said, giving the ghost boy the short explanation of what I'm doing.
"Well... The best I can do is search as well. It may not be much, but it's better if two people search together instead of doing it alone." He said.
For some reason, when the ghost boy said the last part, I felt a little ache, but I let it slide as we focused on doing what we came to do. Just then, a thought, or rather a question, came to my mind as I looked at my ghost friend. "Say..."
I looked at him with a comical expression and said. "How are you supposed to help me if you're just an apparition? Like... Can you even move, touch, and carry objects despite being a ghost?"
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Silence.
An awkward silence filled the Library as my ghostly friend looked at me after I asked an understandable question with such an expression that I made.
After a few seconds, my friend finally reacted.
My ghostly friend also made a comical expression and replied a little nervously. "I... Uh... Well... I can still interact with non-organic objects with this avatar! My Undying Flames don't burn anything material! Even paper! A-And besides... I can float around in this avatar, so I can make the search a lot easier!"
His explanation managed to satisfy me and put to rest some concerns I had. "Okay, buddy... I guess we can start searching... So we'd better start now." I said.
My ghostly friend nodded and said. "Right, let's not waste any more time!"
And so, we started searching the entire Library for a book that met the requirements I needed.
Of course, while we were searching, the boy in Undying Flames tried to make some small talk with me. "Soooooo... What exactly did you find before I came?" He asked.
"Just some books about things that caught my attention, languages, martial arts, and other stuff about the old earth... This Library has some stuff you wouldn't normally find back at the TRC or other places, since they buried that information for... Some reason... I honestly think that it was sort of stupid..." I said.
"Really? And... Is it really interesting what you found...?" He asked.
"Yup, did you know that Capoeira is a martial art that incorporates dancing moves? Like... Fighting by dancing." I said, letting my ghost friend know a fact about Capoeira.
"Using dance moves to fight? Is that even possible...? B-But what is it like...? T-This Capoeira, I mean..." He asked.
"I would like to demonstrate you, but I would need to practice it," I said.
"Sure, just make sure you don't trip yourself while doing it, you can't float like I do to mitigate the falls." He chuckled at the prospect that I might trip while practicing my moves.
I temporarily stopped what I was doing and looked at my ghostly friend.
I looked at him with an annoyed comical expression as I waved my hand dismissively at his attempt at a joke. "Oh, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... How funny of you, I didn't know you had a sense of humor despite being in the body of a baby, look at how much I'm laughing..." I said sarcastically.
The ghost boy only chuckled at my sarcastic reply. I could only shake my head at this. On the inside, I felt at ease. This ghostly boy is at least the only person I can afford myself to be like this, being goofy and fooling around, making witty comments to each other.
We kept talking a little while searching for what I was looking for, even if it was going to take a while.
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*30 minutes later*
Half an hour would pass, and we still kept searching through the books of the library. It was almost evening, but just then...
“Takumi…! I may have found something that could help…!” He called out to me as he took out a book that he found.
“Seriously!? Thanks! So… Tell me what you found…” I said in excitement.
“Well… Let’s see…” He started reading the book and told me its contents. “This is an old legend from immemorial times… Those who had the potential to lead, conquer, and guide their people with the divine blood can choose to go through some trials that will help them further increase their power… To the point of almost reaching the divine… But the trials will test anyone who possesses the divine blood… In the older eras… Those with divine blood would take these trials, and if they pass, then depending on the user’s potential, it could even rival or even surpass those chosen by God…”
“Unbelievable… And when you say divine blood, you mean…” I trail off just to let my ghost friend end what I was thinking.
“Yes… It means those with Cryptoglobin and Hemoanima…” The undying flames boy said, confirming what I suspected.
Then, the boy in purple flames would continue. “But these trials are not meant to be taken by just anyone… Many tried and failed… And those who have failed either gave up or died…” The boy said, giving me the chills down my spine.
“Really…? Then these trials are no joke…” I said, a little worried about the possible difficulty of the trials.
“Based on what I’m reading? Yeah… And apparently… Many of the commanders, even the ones you faced, tried these trials, but they failed… Even the ones who came before them…” Said the boy.
Now I was really thinking about how difficult these trials were, if they were so difficult that even the commanders had a very hard time to try and complete them just to end up in failure. It’s risky… But if I succeed in passing these trials, then it might give me the edge on them… But how hard were these trials…?
“Before you even ask Takumi… Even the previous Supreme Commanders tried these trials, but almost all of them failed…” Said the boy in purple flames.
I was taken aback by this. I knew that V’ehxness was the Supreme Commander, so for people of that high caliber, somehow failing these trials was a shock. But then I caught on to something the boy in flames said. “Hold on… Almost all of them…? You mean that some actually passed these trials…?” I asked.
The boy in purple flames nodded. “Yeah… Only two managed to pass… And the results were… Well… Astonishing would be an understatement… But those people already passed away a long time ago… And based on the records of this book…” The boy passed through some pages before stopping on a specific page. “The names of those who tried and failed are here…” He read through all the names before his eyes widened on one. “Takumi!” He called out.
“What is it?” I asked, seeing that the boy in flames called me out.
“This is a list of all the names of the Commanders and even the Supreme Commanders who tried to pass these trials but failed, even the more recent ones.” The boy said.
“And? What of it?” I asked, not understanding why I was being told to pay attention to the names.
“Well… Among the names I read… I found V’ehxness’ name…” Said the boy in flames.
This had me with my eyes wide in shock. “What…? Not even V’ehxness managed to pass those trials…?” I asked in trepidation.
“Yeah… Not even the most recent Supreme Commander was able to pass these trials and obtain this power… And based on what I’m reading… The trials will test you both physically and mentally but it doesn’t even say exactly what we should expect or what the trials will look like, but all it says is that it could end up breaking your spirit or mentally destroy you if it ends up being too much for you, so to put it simply, this is something that almost, if not no one, was able to achieve… But despite all of this… Do you still want to give it a try, Takumi…?” The boy in purple flames asked in a little trepidation.
I stood where I was, thinking about what I should do. On one hand, it sounds amazing that I can get stronger to the point of even being able to defeat the Commanders by myself, heck, I could even learn new things while I’m at it! But… It also sounds scary… Knowing that almost nobody, not even V’ehxness was able to pass those trials… Should I stop and- NO! I already told myself I was going to change my old self to a new one! I don’t care how harsh the journey is! I WILL NOT QUIT!!!
I would tighten my knuckles and look at the boy of undying flames with determination and say. “Do you need to ask? I’m not just gonna roll over and die insignificantly… I promised myself that I would change no matter what, I will not be satisfied with anything less…! I don’t plan on stopping until I reach my goal… You say that it will break me? That it will destroy me? Then I’ll just rebuild myself from the ground up and give birth to a new me!”
The boy in purple flames was shocked by my determination and could not believe what he was seeing. Then, as if starting to see things, he saw a transparent blue flame coming out of my left eye to make him know how determined I am. “Takumi… You…” He said in awe.
“I don’t intend on stopping. If this me doesn’t make the cut, then I’ll go back and become a zero. I won’t become something that anyone wants me to pretend to be… No… I’ll become something I want to be… And no one… And I mean no one will dictate me, boss me, or tell me what I am or who I am… If I have to do this alone? Then so be it…” I finished speaking, the fire in my eyes bursting with more determination.
The boy in purple flames was shocked to say the least, he didn’t think that I was this determined to achieve this new goal. Seeing the fire in my eyes, he smiled and said. “I see… Well… You’re not going to accept a no as an answer, and you won’t settle with what you have, but I can see that you’re not scared of doing this… But so be it… If this is how you want to do things, then I won’t stop you… Just try to remember not to stray yourself and go down the wrong path; otherwise, you might lose yourself…” The boy said with worry.
I remained where I was standing, my expression unchanged. “I won’t… On that I swear it…”
What we didn’t know was that the conversation was being heard by Hiruko, who had the door slightly open but just enough to hear the conversation. She was worried about my behavior, but after listening to my speech, she just smiled. “Going back to zero, huh?” She murmured to herself. “It almost sounds like you want to be reborn into a new you, Takumi… This new you… So decisive, determined, and not willing to be bossed around by anyone… I think I like it…” She kept on murmuring to herself, and just as she turned to leave, she gave the slightly open door one last look and said. “Just don’t lose yourself, Takumi… We are all worried… If you stray on the wrong path, then we’ll guide you back to the right path… Even if it takes a while, just remember that you have us, everyone in the team… You’ll eventually understand that you’re not alone…” With those words, she left without the boy in purple flames and me, knowing that our conversation was spied on.
Back to the two boys in the library, the boy in purple flames would look at me with seriousness and say. “So… Now that I know how determined you are, I will give you the indications on where to find the location where you will do those trials…”
“I’m listening…” I said, now paying attention to the words of my friend in flames.
"Well... It's located outside the academy, outside the wall of fire, in one of the ruins, outside the city ruins. There should be some ruins that lead to some sort of temple that is supposedly near the area... That is all I can gather from here..." He explained.
"That's it? That is a rather vague description... It could be any place for all I know. How am I supposed to know that is the correct place?" I asked, but the vagueness of the description of the place I'm supposed to go didn't help much.
"Well, I should remind you that there isn't much information about these trials... We don't know what to expect and what you're gonna be put through..." The ghost boy explained.
"Right, at least I know that is nearby... But that also raises many questions... That book mentions that the commanders took the test and failed... Like they're treating them as if they were actual people with their own culture and civilization... Is there something that we don't know about the commanders that we've never been told?" I asked, questioning the true nature of the commanders, despite being our enemies, their existence still raised too many questions, and this book just gave me new ones.
"I don't know... I thought Sirei would have told us by now..." The ghost boy said.
"He must have a reason for it... And something tells me that the reason is not a very good one... I also have the feeling that we shouldn't fully trust Sirei in everything he says and does, even his intentions... Just don't tell him what we did here, and don't mention anything about this conversation, nor should you ask anything that might make us suspicious." I said, murmuring to my ghostly friend to make sure that Sirei wasn't hearing us.
"Alright... I'll do it... I'm just glad that I could help you in some way after what you went through for the past few days, Takumi." He said with a tiny, friendly smile.
"Don't sweat it, man... If there is anything I can do to pay you back, just say it." I said with calmed smile.
"Then... You don't mind if you introduce me to your friends right...?" The ghost boy said a little bashfully, wanting to meet the SDU team.
As soon as he said 'friends', my smile was gone. I didn't know how to respond to him since I didn't want to crush any hopes he had. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight... He wants me to introduce him to them... Despite being on good terms with my ghostly friend, I can't say I feel the same way with the others.
After a few minutes of hesitating, I finally responded. "I'll...see what I can do..."
"O-Okay, I won't rush you, but I really want to be friends with them..." He said.
There it goes again, he wants to be friends with the others so badly, and here I am avoiding said friends.
After making that promise, I picked up the book of the trials along with some of the others that caught my interest, and I started to walk towards the door of the Library. I looked back at my ghostly friend and said. "Well... I guess we'll see each other later, see ya."
"Yeah, I wish you good luck, Takumi." He said.
And with that, I went out of the Library, with one objective in mind.
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Evening, 1F (First Floor), Entrance Hall.
I was standing in the Entrance Hall, it was now evening, the sun was beginning to set, and I took my time to make some preparations to go out and find the temple that the boy in undying flames told me about.
I brought a bag to put some food (from the Ratio-O-Matic) in case I'm hungry, some of the books I borrowed, along with the one talking about the trials, a bottle of water in case I'm thirsty, and most importantly, my infuser, since I was going out, bringing my infuser just felt logical.
With everything ready, I prepared myself to go out, so I picked up a fire extinguisher and started to head out.
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Schoolyard.
Now I was in-front of the wall of fire, with the extinguisher ready, I wasn't going to leave the academy, I'm only going out by myself, and eventually I'll be back by night.
I turned back to look at the academy, and only a few thoughts came to mind. I'm doing this for myself... Not for anyone... I will get better, and I won't have to rely on the others.
This is a journey to discover a new me... A changed Takumi Sumino... Whatever awaits me, I won't stop... Not now, not ever...
This is the beginning of my rebirth... I don't know what kind of trials I will face, what kinds of struggles I will face, or what kinds of powers I'll obtain... But this will be the start of something big...
No one gets to decide for me... I will choose my own destiny...
After having those thoughts, I used my infuser and activated my Class Armor. With the fire extinguisher in hand, I use it to go past the wall of fire.
Now I go on this journey, alone, with a clear objective in mind: improve myself, push myself to the limit, and surpass the old me, and as I said before, I'm not doing this for anyone, not for Sirei, not for the SDU, not for Karua or even Nozomi, I'm doing this for myself, and that alone gets me fired up.