Chapter Text
Birthdays weren’t ever something special to Sieun. His family may have celebrated them out of obligation, but they stopped by the time Sieun could form memories. As far as he remembers, his birthday would pass by quietly and without trouble. Out of sight, out of mind.
Sieun didn’t care that much. Why would he if he never knew what he was missing out on in the first place?
He shared this information with Suho when he asked, and Suho seemed more affected by it than he was. “It’s your special day. It should be something celebrated,” Suho had said quietly. Almost mournful.
Should it? Sieun had thought. He kept that to himself. He ignored the quiet words and figured that was the end of that.
That was only a little bit after they became friends in their first year. By the time Sieun’s birthday came around, Suho was the first to wish him right at midnight. Their schedules didn’t line up for that day, and so Sieun was quietly resigned to the fact that another birthday would pass by without thought. Suho’s little birthday message was a change in routine he didn’t mind.
It was the first time someone wished him so warmly, even if it was over the phone. The warmth in Suho’s voice was undeniable. Sieun smiled a bit. It felt nice being celebrated, even if it was just hearing two simple words from a friend.
His lab group surprised him with a little celebration too. He’s not sure how they learned it was his birthday. He never really questioned it, too out of his element when the center of attention for a silly birthday song.
It was nice. The birthday cake was terrible though. Daeho and Ari should not be trusted around baking supplies, they all learned that day.
He held out a little hope that Spider-Man would come by, even if it was for a moment. The little birthday wishes he got made him get a little carried away that more would come. But Spider-Man was busy, and Sieun couldn’t hold it against him. The hero didn’t even know it was his birthday anyway.
As he locked up the lab for the night and as he exited the building, he paused at the sight of Suho standing there with a lone cupcake and a candle. “Happy birthday,” he had said breathlessly, as if he just ran a marathon to get there.
Sieun had stared. Suho just walked closer, lit the candle, and started singing. He was sweaty and smelt like he was running around all day, but Sieun didn’t mind. Suho sang quietly, and Sieun found it was even harder being the center of one person’s attention as they sang for him compared to a little group - especially when Suho looked so pleased he managed to get there before Sieun could leave.
Technically, it was still his birthday, even if it was close to midnight by the time Sieun blew the candle out. He left the lab early that day as a little birthday gift to himself, though that’s really only because Suho suggested he do that anyway.
The cupcake was too sweet. Sieun ate the whole thing anyway.
His second year had a small celebration with the others, just a simple dinner in the midst of whatever mess was happening at the time. They more or less reacted the same when Sieun told them of his birthdays in the past. By that time, he already knew his friends loved him more than he loved himself. He just smiled as they sang their hearts out for him, not even bothering to hide it. They caused a major disturbance in the restaurant they were in. None of them really cared.
This year, his friends plan on throwing a “birthday bash bonanza” to make up for the missed birthday during his coma recovery - which only happened because Sieun wasn’t in the mood for it. How could he celebrate a birthday with strangers, was his train of thought at the time. All of that love he was surrounded with was temporarily forgotten.
Suho still bought him a cupcake. Maybe the same sweet one he bought the first time. Sieun ate it all despite his frustration.
The “birthday bash bonanza” really just means everyone will be showing up at their apartment tonight with something stupid planned, Sieun’s sure of it.
Before all of that though, Suho takes him out. Sieun’s eyes shine when they stand outside the aquarium. He doesn’t even think he’s ever been to one before.
Suho takes his hand with a knowing smile. “Do you like it?” he asks.
Sieun nods. Suho laughs in victory as he drags them inside.
The aquarium itself is big. Sieun can feel his eyes widen the more he looks around. There’s a blue hue to everything, the lights dimmer to accommodate for the glow the water gives off through the large panes of glass. The sea animals themselves swim peacefully, often getting close to the glass where children press close.
Sieun finds himself unintentionally leading the way, Suho following as they get lost in the sea around them. He pauses to read every information plaque, and he recites everything to Suho, who’s staring more at Sieun than the animals they’re supposed to awe at. The ease creeps in without him realizing it, and the warmth that Sieun’s so well accustomed to these days is welcomed with open arms.
They stop at an axolotl exhibit, just watching the animals move in their own special, strange way. Sieun brings a finger to the glass, an axolotl meeting him and pressing close. Its beady eyes look stupid up close, he thinks fondly.
“Why’d you name the chemical after an axolotl?” Suho asks quietly.
“It’s fitting. They both regenerate. They’re both pink.” Sieun shrugs when Suho holds back a laugh. “What? Sometimes things really are that simple.”
Suho nudges his shoulder. “Dork.” Sieun huffs in response, turning and heading off to another exhibit as Suho trails behind him with a laugh.
They’re walking through the interactive portion of the aquarium geared towards kids, but Suho seems to be having the time of his life anyway. He touches all of the animals he’s allowed to, forces Sieun to take pictures at every cutout stand, and plays with the displays that are meant to be informative.
“Why does this crab look so funny?” a little boy asks. They’re all crouching beside each other petting the crabs. Is this sanitary or safe? Sieun doesn’t know. Suho’s currently building a tragic backstory for the crab they’re petting.
“It’s a horseshoe crab,” the staff overseeing them says kindly.
“But it’s not a horse,” a little girl points out. “And it looks ugly.”
“Lame,” another boy drags out.
Sieun brings his hand out of the water. “They have blue blood,” he tells Suho.
Before Suho can respond, the kids all gasp out simultaneously. Sieun blinks and suddenly he’s crowded by little humans who look up at him with wide eyes. “They what?” the whiny boy from earlier screams.
Sieun blinks. “They have blue blood. There’s copper instead of iron,” he states.
“Like pennies?” a little girl asks, face twisted. They don’t even have pennies in Korea.
“The thing that makes the penny a penny,” Sieun explains patiently. A chorus of understanding ohhhhhs rings out. Suho chuckles in his ear.
“Iron like, the Minecraft material?” a boy chewing gum asks.
Sieun nods slowly, eyes narrowing in thought. He thinks Juntae’s mentioned something about that before. “Sure. It’s what makes our blood red, but the copper makes the horseshoe crab’s blue.” The kids all murmur to each other like they’re in some sort of profound seminar.
“Hyung, what else do you know?” a boy asks, stars in his eyes.
Sieun looks to see Suho resting his head in his arms, amusement clear as day. “Yeah, what else do you know about these sea critters?” Suho eggs on. “Didn’t you tell me that there was an immortal jellyfish?”
Every kid within ear range freaks out. Sieun closes his eyes with a sigh. Suho’s laughing like this is peak entertainment.
With the help of the staff member, Sieun somehow finds himself holding a mini lecture on all the animals in their little section. The kids are sitting and watching like they’re in school, Suho sitting with them despite being twice their size. He’s encouraging their questions, reacting dramatically with them, and is the first one to start the standing ovation once Sieun’s done with his spiel.
Sieun gives him an amused look. Suho winks before clapping even louder.
As each kid gives their thanks and their parents give Sieun candy out of payment, something in his chest lightens.
“I think that was a good detour,” Suho says when they’re side by side again.
Sieun offers his candy. Suho takes it with a smile. “It wasn’t too bad,” Sieun admits. Was it completely stupid and unnecessary? Yes.
Did Sieun even hate it at all? No. Not really.
The final stop is the penguin exhibit. It’s an open enclosure that’s colder than the rest of the aquarium, the setting supposed to resemble the arctic. Sieun grips the railing as he watches the penguins mill around.
A penguin falls on its face. Its companions gather around and make noises like they’re laughing. Sieun doesn’t bother stopping the small smile on his face from forming.
He glances over to see Suho smiling too, though his attention is more on Sieun than the penguins. “A group of penguins in water is called a raft, but when they’re on land, they’re called a waddle,” Sieun states for no reason.
Suho’s eyes light up. “That’s adorable.” He whips his head to coo at the stupid penguins waddling around, and Sieun tries to suppress the growing smile on his face. He fails, but it’s fine, because Suho gives him a sweet kiss when he sees it.
Before they leave, Suho pulls him into a little photo booth. As he’s fiddling with the menu and choosing a frame, Sieun sits with a small smile that hasn’t really gone away. Suho freezes for a moment when he turns back around, and then promptly smothers Sieun in a hug. “I’m glad you had fun,” Suho grins.
Sieun pats his leg. “The camera.”
The pictures that come out are pretty bad. Suho’s moving too much to be properly captured, and so he comes out blurry. Sieun is stuck staring ahead blankly, even with the small smile on his face, and it looks like he’s disassociating as Suho jostles him around.
Suho holds the strip close to his heart anyway. Sieun gently tucks it into his wallet.
They make a quick stop at A.N.A.L. so he can celebrate with his seniors for a bit. “Happy birthday!” Chuu cheers when they come into the lab, arms up and smile wide as her entire being lights up. Daeho and Ari blow kazoos and clap as he’s led to sit at a bench. Chuu holds out a lighter. “Make a wish on this wonderful dessert we all got you.”
It’s just a bag of chips. Sieun blows the lighter, Chuu shuts it off, and they all cheer once more. It’s so silly, but Sieun’s grateful for it anyway.
“Happy birthday, Sieun,” Daeho bows. He slides over a gift basket filled with various snacks. “From all of us, because remaining well fed is an important factor to living long.”
Sieun smiles a little as he and Suho peer inside. “Thanks,” he says.
“And we are pleased you will be working with us soon. Chuu says you have one more screening to go through, yes?”
Sieun nods. He pushes the basket to Suho so he can pick out his favorite snacks. “I’m looking forward to it. Please take care of me,” he says, bowing his head slightly.
Daeho pats his shoulder with a small smile. “Of course. We mad scientists must stick together.”
Chuu cheers in the back. “We do!”
Ari pulls him out into the hall as the others eat their snacks. She pulls out an envelope and holds it out. “From Beomseok,” she says simply.
Sieun stares. It’s not that he’s forgotten about him, it’s that he’s already made peace with their ending. There was no other need to question further.
Ari holds a hand up. “Don’t freak out, there’s no malicious villain intent with this,” she reassures. “What do you know so far?”
“He’s in rehabilitation, but progress is slow,” Sieun mutters. Daeho told him when he asked once, and that was enough for Sieun. Suho pretends Beomseok doesn’t exist, and so Sieun does too.
It haunts them still, no matter how peaceful it’s been. Nightmares are common, and while they don’t go into specifics, it’s not hard to tell what they’re about and why they’re having them in the first place.
It’s ok though. Because Suho is always there to hold him and he’s always ready to give his heart when Suho needs to hear it. They manage.
Ari nods. She plays with the envelope in her hands, turning it and thumbing the lines. “A.N.A.L. has been thorough in their tests to make sure the Goblin is out of his system. Even then, they’re using him for tests for other superhuman stuff - the after effects of having chemicals in your bloodstream lingers, apparently. He’s surprisingly cooperative in being a guinea pig. Is human experimentation really that bad if the test subject is the one pushing for it?”
Sieun stares at her. Ari sighs.
“He’s remorseful, if that matters. He wrote this while you were still in your coma, but Suho wanted us to wait before we could give it to you.” She holds it out again. “There’s no wrong option here, Sieun. You can either read it, keep it sealed, or throw it out without a second thought. It’s your call, birthday boy.”
Carefully, Sieun takes it. Beomseok’s neat scrawl greets him back.
Ari nudges their shoes together. “Don’t let this weigh you down too much, ok? Beomseok, he… he’s moving forward the best he can, isolated but sane.”
“What’s going to happen to him?” Sieun asks quietly. It’s harder than he thought to get the words out.
Ari smiles sadly. “If all goes well, he’ll just be living in prison for the rest of his life. He’s content, even if his future isn’t looking too good. Content, not resigned.”
It’s an important differentiation, he supposes. Sieun nods as he takes a deep breath, meeting her eyes. “Thank you,” he says softly.
Ari’s smile brightens a bit. Probably the happiest he’s ever seen from her. “Happy birthday, Sieun.”
Later, at the apartment, Sieun places the envelope in his desk drawer. Suho leans against the doorframe, watching with a carefully blank look. “You’re not gonna read it?” he asks softly.
“Should I?” Sieun’s stuck staring at the open drawer, the envelope at the bottom. The stack of notebooks he had in there are waiting to be put back, to hide it for who knows how long. “He’s remorseful. Isn’t it rude not to?”
“Remorse doesn’t mean you owe him anything,” Suho scoffs lightly. His tense shoulders slacken a bit when Sieun looks at him, sharp words bitten back for his sake. “I think that after everything, the last thing you owe Beomseok is your forgiveness,” Suho says, soft but firm. It’s the first time he’s said the name since Sieun’s woken up. Since longer, probably. “The last thing you owe him is your kindness, your time - you can be as rude as you want to be, Sieun-ah.” He walks closer, nudging their shoulders together as they stare down at the lone envelope. “I’m not telling you what to do. I just don’t want you to regret anything.”
The words settle gently over his heart.
It’s not fear or disgust that stops him from opening it, it’s just a need to move past this all cleanly - or well, as clean as they can in this situation. Maybe one day, Sieun will be kind enough to open it and read the words of someone who’s hurt him in ways that can’t be taken back. Maybe one day, Sieun never will.
He places the notebooks back in the drawer, covering the envelope for as long as he wants. The sound of the drawer closing is final. A goodbye in their own way.
He leans his head on Suho’s shoulder. “When is everyone coming?” he asks.
Suho presses a kiss to his hair. “In an hour.” A small moment of silence passes. There’s no pressing need to fill it. Eventually, Suho ducks down a bit so they meet eyes. “Wanna spy on the downstairs neighbors soap opera of the day? I heard the boyfriend was caught with another girl.”
Sieun nods, because this has been their recent routine and Sieun is nosy to a fault sometimes. Suho smiles warmly, and despite everything, Sieun returns it with his own tiny one.
When their friends come, they bring bags of food and loud greetings. They also all wear party hats with Sieun’s face on it, and ignore Sieun’s questions when they manhandle one onto him.
The cake they’ve brought with them has Sieun’s face poorly printed on it. Baku falls to his knees on the floor. “I swear, the person said it would turn out fine!” he wails.
Sieun’s face is distorted to look more like a broken TV screen than an actual human face. The gray icing does not help. Yeongi shakes her head. “I can order a new one real quick,” she offers.
Sieun shakes his head while his eyes crinkle at the corners. “This is fine.”
After cake, and after Sieun tiredly holds up the several pajama sets everyone’s gifted him of various pop culture things he doesn’t care about, he’s instructed to sit on the couch and wait as they set something up. He blinks as Suho moves the coffee table away, as Juntae sets up a speaker, and as Gotak seriously directs everyone to their positions.
Yeongi holds up a hairbrush like it’s a microphone. The lights dim a little. “Yeon Sieun,” she announces. Sieun stares blankly. “Notorious fan of the hit Korean girl group fromis_9-”
Sieun is most notably not a fan of them, by the way. Not out of disrespect, he just doesn’t listen to them.
“We present to you a special performance,” Yeongi continues. “A performance that took weeks of preparation, of blood, sweat, and tears. Of pure dedication to present it to you here tonight, on your very special birthday.” She holds a hand up. “Please, hold your applause and praise till the end. Without further ado, Love Bomb.”
She steps aside and presses play on a phone. Sieun continues to stare blankly as a recording of his friends singing rings throughout the space the same moment they start to move.
It’s scarily synchronized and actually very well done. Juntae is doing adlibs in the background. Gotak has mastered the art of facial expressions. Baku is genuinely hitting moves he should not be hitting. Suho is winking at him and grinning like he’s the recipient of this performance and not Sieun.
Yeongi records behind him, cheering in support while also laughing her ass off. Sieun watches with tired eyes and his mouth slightly open. Half in awe, half in pure confusion at what the train of thought was here.
The song ends, everyone’s panting from exhaustion, and the lights come back on. It’s silent for a moment. Sieun is stuck staring blankly.
“So? Thoughts?” Suho asks, grin slightly nervous at the edges the longer Sieun stays silent.
Sieun nods slowly. “Ok,” he says quietly. And then he lets a small smile grow on his face, which is basically the equivalent of a big round of applause in his book.
The boys in front of him collapse in relief, nearly sobbing at Sieun’s approval. Yeongi leans towards him a bit. “They were worried you were gonna hate it and ruin your birthday,” she whispers.
Sieun shakes his head, letting the smile fully settle on his face in all its upside down glory. How could he hate a gift like that? It was perfectly stupid, as is the general theme with his friends.
When everyone leaves and the apartment settles, Sieun lays in bed with a lazy blink of his eyes. Suho comes in decked out in Sieun’s newly acquired Fortnite pajamas and does a little spin at the door. “Do I pull it off?”
“No.”
Suho rolls his eyes. “I’ll let that slide since it’s your birthday,” he grumbles as he gets into bed. He tugs on Sieun’s sleeve. “Do you at least appreciate the axolotl pajamas I got you?”
“Why else am I wearing it tonight?” he mumbles. He buries his face into Suho’s chest, feeling more than hearing the resulting chuckles that come. “I hope we can spend every birthday together,” he sleepily whispers.
Suho hugs him close. He drops a soft kiss to his head that makes Sieun smile in content. “Me too. Happy birthday, Sieunnie,” he whispers back.
Spider-Man is currently herding an entire group of animals back into the zoo they’ve broken out of, which normally wouldn’t be too concerning if it wasn’t for the fact that Suho is late to his own birthday party.
It’s the middle of summer. Suho had no preference in how he wanted to spend his birthday as long as Sieun was there and their friends were too, and so Sieun made plans with everyone to surprise the other with more than what he was probably expecting. The problem is that Suho is currently being Spider-Man, and Sieun’s only job was to show up with the guy about 2 hours ago.
He stares blankly at the TV as Spider-Man is dragged around by an elephant in his attempt at dragging it back to its home. The timing is comical, he thinks dryly.
His phone goes off. “Suho.”
“I’m sorry,” Suho pants on the other side. He shouts something very unbefitting of Spider-Man and finally gets the elephant under control as far as Sieun can see on the TV. “Give me 10 more minutes and then we can go do whatever top secret birthday plans you have for me, ok? Bye, love you,” he rushes out, ending the call before Sieun can say anything else.
Sieun pinches the bridge of his nose. Whatever.
10 minutes later, Suho is slamming into the balcony window. He groans as he peels himself off and shimmies inside, quickly discarding the Spider-Man suit. Sieun watches silently as Suho runs around in trying to freshen himself up. Only when he’s back in front of him, damp from the world’s quickest shower, does he press a kiss to Sieun’s lips.
Sieun pushes back and then pulls away. “Happy birthday,” he says flatly.
“Really feeling the love here,” Suho grins. He leans in for another kiss, and Sieun relents. It’s Suho’s birthday. Besides, Sieun will give him whatever he wants regardless of the day.
Somehow, they make it out of the apartment. As Sieun gives Suho the address, and as they ride his bike, the sun peaks high in the sky. Sieun’s never really liked the heat, but he’s grown accustomed to the constant warmth by his side, and so his opinion is rapidly swaying as the days pass by.
Then again, he also hates the feeling of sweat and humidity, and so maybe he’ll always have displeasure for the summer.
When they get close to the beach near Suho’s home, Suho slows down until he stops completely. He whips his head back to Sieun with shiny eyes, something like disbelief coloring his face. “You haven’t taken me here during the summer yet,” Sieun huffs. “Might as well do it now.”
Suho breaks out into a bright smile as his eyes form crescent moons. It says more than Sieun will ever be able to put into words.
Their friends cheer when they finally get close. There’s a little table with food, some towels and umbrellas set up, and a grill that’s already on its second round of use. “We got hungry,” Gotak shrugs.
Suho looks at Sieun with a never ceasing smile. His eyes soften. “Did you plan all of this?”
“It was a team effort,” Sieun shrugs. He grabs a party hat with Suho’s face on it and places it on the other’s head. “Happy birthday, Suho-yah,” he says - softly this time, because his Suho deserves it.
Suho puts a party hat on Sieun and kisses him, but it’s more of a press of smiles than anything.
Sieun’s truly never had the chance to experience the beach in all its glory, but he can see why Suho treasures this place so much. He looks for seashells with Juntae, builds a sand castle with Gotak and Baku, and watches as Suho runs away from the seagulls that still seem to hate him after all this time.
Suho’s permanent grin makes Sieun smile.
Wooyoung and Yeongi were the ones to order the cake this time. The image of Suho in his clown outfit greets them, thankfully not an image straight out of a horror movie. “What did they do that I couldn’t?” Baku mutters thoughtfully.
Gotak pats his shoulder. “Actually give the cake people a high quality picture,” he answers.
“The ones Baku sent them were just really bad, and so that’s why the past cakes looked like that,” Wooyoung explains. They all make various sounds of understanding as Baku dramatically wipes a tear away.
There’s no special performance planned for Suho, but they do set up a karaoke system, which is basically the same thing in Sieun’s opinion. As Sieun scrolls through a list of songs, the others engage in a genuine life or death battle involving water guns.
He doesn’t really want to sing, but Suho asked with that wide eyed look that reminded him of a kicked puppy, and so here he is with a mic in hand and boredly trying to find something decent.
Bodyelse by popular Korean figure Park Jihoon. Sure, why not.
As the music starts and as Sieun starts to sing, he watches as Suho skids to a stop in the sand and subsequently trips on his feet and falls on his face. He’s quickly surrounded by the others as they spray him with water, but he just lifts his head and manages to meet Sieun’s eyes.
The look on his face is pure love, even Sieun can admit that. Maybe Sieun mirrors it, maybe he doesn’t. He’ll never know.
“Thank you,” Suho says as they lazily float in the ocean. Sieun’s on top of a Spider-Man floatie while Suho pushes him around. Sieun just hums in response, eyes closing when Suho runs a hand through his hair.
“Happy birthday,” Sieun murmurs. He peeks his eyes open to see Suho’s teary gaze.
“It all feels like a dream sometimes. Too good to be true,” Suho admits. He smiles, but there’s a sadness to him that never really disappears. Guilt at all the missed time, maybe.
Sieun nods, because the same applies to him. “Then let’s dream a little longer,” is all he can really say. Suho hums in agreement, pressing a soft kiss to the pulse in Sieun’s wrist.
The sun beats down on them as they continue to float in the water. Their friends call out to them to make sure they won’t get swept away by the waves, grounding in their own way. It’s a good birthday, even if it’s not Sieun’s, because as long as Suho is happy, he is too.
Sieun doesn’t get to graduate with everyone simply because he’s not enrolled in university anymore, but he does get invited to stand on stage with the other guest speakers and alumni because of what he did the night he went into a long sleep. He tugs the sleeves of the robe on him as the ceremony is about to start, eyes roaming to find his friends.
They wave excitedly at him. He waves back with a small smile.
Suho’s chair is empty.
Before the lights can dim and everyone settles, Sieun presses his phone to his ear as he turns to a corner. It rings, and then Suho’s little, “Sieun-ah!” makes him let out a breath.
“Suho. It’s about to start,” he whispers.
There are several sounds of honking cars. Suho grunts. “Yeah, yeah - I’m just uh, stuck in traffic right now.”
Sieun squints. There’s something else there. “Are those sirens?”
“What? You’re hallucinating,” Suho laughs, but it sounds too breathless and distracted to ease anything. “I’ll be there super soon.”
“How soon?”
“Hey, how soon can you crash this car?” Suho shouts to someone. Unintelligible curses in response. It sounds vaguely Russian. Suho clicks his tongue. “Man. Still haven’t learned Russian. You’d think I would at this point, right? With how many secret Russian government spies come to try and steal alien stuff?”
Sieun stares blankly at the wall. “Ahn Suho.”
“Ok, ok, I’m coming,” Suho rushes out. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about anything. Give me 5 minutes. I’m about to do some epic action montage.”
The call cuts before Sieun can even begin to process that. The lights dim and Sieun bites back a sigh as he settles in his seat, eyes stuck on the empty chair. Five minutes turn into an hour, and Sieun is split between going out there and dragging Suho by the ear or letting the guy miss one of the most important days of his life. Either option is tempting.
As Baekjin finishes his speech - which was very sweet and inspiring, Sieun will admit as he claps - names start being called. Sieun stands at the end of the stage, shaking hands and giving his congratulations as his eyes drift to the upcoming empty spot representing his Suho.
“Ahn Suho,” the chancellor announces. No one comes up. Sieun sighs a little. “Ahn Suho,” he repeats again.
“Here! I’m here!” Suho runs up, breathless and sweaty, but here nonetheless. He takes his diploma, shakes everyone’s hands, and does a backflip. As the crowd cheers and as he comes up to Sieun, his smile is brighter than the fluorescent lights shining on them.
Sieun holds his hand out, a little smile forming. “Congratulations.”
Suho presses his tongue to the inside of his cheek and ignores the hand, instead pulling Sieun close and kissing him with way too much passion than what’s appropriate. He even dips Sieun a little, pumping a fist in the air as everyone just cheers louder. When they straighten up, Suho winks and walks down the stairs like nothing happened.
Sieun fixes his cap with a long suffering sigh, but even he can’t deny the blush rising on his cheeks.
After the ceremony, Sieun waits outside with Yeongi, the two of them with too many bouquets in their arms. “Hey, Sieun?” she says before they get spotted by their friends. Sieun hums, eyes squinting into the distance for familiar figures.
Yeongi nudges him with her shoulder, and he turns his head to her. She smiles. “Congratulations to you too,” she smiles. “You’ve worked hard.”
Sieun bobs his head, words stuck in his throat. Yeongi just smiles more, and they’re turning back just in time to be bombarded by their friends.
As they distribute the bouquets of flowers, everyone shifts between shouting in joy to sobbing at having to move onto the next stage of life. It’s bittersweet, kind of, because they really won’t know what comes next, and no one wants to say goodbye.
“I think after everything, we can’t just go our separate ways,” Baku sniffles. “We’ve trauma bonded. We’re stuck with each other.”
“We’re not dying,” Gotak sighs, but his smile is bright. “And who says anyone’s leaving?”
“This is like a hostage situation,” Juntae notes with too much excitement.
Baku sucks up all of his snot. “Exactly. One last group hug?”
Sieun is the first to shuffle close, blinking expectedly. It’s enough for everyone to bawl and hug each other tight, Sieun hiding his smile in Suho’s shoulder.
It’s not a goodbye, Sieun’s sure of it.
As they split off to celebrate with their families, Sieun’s taking pictures for Suho, Halmeoni, and Yeongi. Suho stands bright and tall as he holds up his diploma in one hand and the bouquet of wisteria Sieun gifted him in the other. Sieun smiles behind the camera.
“Ok, now you and Suho,” Halmeoni urges, dragging Sieun and positioning him to her liking as Yeongi holds her phone up.
Suho wraps an arm around him, and Sieun leans into it as the others take too many pictures. Throughout it all, Suho never stops smiling. Neither does Sieun, if he’s being honest.
Later, late into the night as Sieun’s reviewing lab notes and as Suho is out doing more Spider-Man business, peace is the only way to describe whatever comes over him. It’s just all peace. In the quiet of his bedroom, as spring starts to come around again, Sieun breathes easy.
Their room - his and Suho’s, because there’s no point in having separate rooms at this point - isn’t that much different than the ones he’s had in the past. It’s clean and organized, but not in the clinical way he’s used to. There’s a little collection of action figures that sit on the shelf (Suho’s doing), a stack of books on the nightstand of various topics (Sieun’s doing), and the scent of wisteria wafting through the space from the bouquet that sits on the drawers. The cardboard cutout of Hatsune Miku still sits in the corner despite Sieun’s contempt for it. The Spider-Man lamp on his desk glows warm and bright, just like the hero himself.
There really isn’t much in their room, but Sieun’s never cared for that kind of thing anyways. It’s where the both of them can come back to after a long day. It’s where the both of them can rest. It’s a place Sieun looks forward to returning to, because Suho is bound to be here too. It’s really all he needs.
Sieun flips through another page. His phone lights up from all the messages his friends have sent in the past hour, plans to meet up soon being made in real time. They want to rent out a beach house and spend the summer lounging around doing nothing before taking the next steps in their lives. Probably not the right course of action, but it’s been established they’re all very abnormal people. Sieun will answer them later to make sure they’re not getting scammed and help plan out logistics. For now, he glances over with a faint smile, not at all bothered by the constant buzzing.
There’s a thump on the window. He turns his head to see Spider-Man plastered against it, sprawled out like a starfish. He taps the glass. “Sieun-ah!” he calls out.
Sieun presses down the smile that threatens to grow as he lets him in. “We have a door,” he states plainly.
Spider-Man shrugs unapologetically, and then he holds a hand out. Sieun takes it without question, letting himself be lifted and secured against the other. They’re swinging up onto the roof before he can question it.
For a brief moment, Sieun feels weightless. Suho’s tight arm around him is warm and unrelenting. It could border on the line of being painful if anyone else was in this position, but Sieun just feels safe and secure.
(It’s taken time for Suho to get past his fear that he would drop Sieun. Sieun has never felt any fear whatsoever. His trust in Suho was enough for Suho to trust himself. Eventually.)
On the roof, Suho finally takes the mask off and tosses it aside somewhere, smiling all soft and gooey like he’s traversing through molasses and absorbing the syrup. “Hi,” he says quietly.
“Hello,” Sieun says back.
Suho presses a kiss to his lips, lingering for a moment before straightening up. “Close your eyes.”
Sieun listens without a second thought. Suho presses another kiss to his closed eyelids before shuffling around the roof. Something with an earthy scent floats in front of him.
At Suho’s gentle request, Sieun opens his eyes. They widen when they take in the sight of Suho holding out a big bouquet of flowers, big enough to cover Sieun’s view of his lovely Suho.
Sieun huffs a bit in disbelief, fingers gently touching the petals. They’re a pretty shade of light blue. Sieun’s not very well versed in these kinds of things and what they mean. They’re beautiful either way.
Suho peeks his head around the big bundle of flowers with a big grin. “Congratulations Sieunnie.”
“For what? I didn’t graduate,” he sighs fondly. He helps bring the bouquet of flowers down to the ground, the little pot they’re in almost toppling over from the sheer amount of flora in it. They slide it so it leans against the wall and is tucked in the corner. The moon light makes the blue shimmer slightly.
Suho takes his hand and twirls him a bit, Sieun letting him with a small smile. When they face each other again, Suho’s hands are on his waist and Sieun’s arms are wrapped around his neck. “I don’t know,” Suho admits quietly, smile softening. He sways them left and right. “Congratulations on getting a job, congratulations on getting that stain out of my shirt today, congratulations on being Sieun. Do I really need a reason to gift you flowers?”
“Yes, if they’re bursting from the pot and looking like they came straight out of a cartoon,” Sieun muses. Suho snorts and hides his face in Sieun’s neck. Sieun presses a kiss against his temple. “Thank you. What kind of flowers are they?”
A pause. “Forget me nots,” Suho mumbles.
“Ah. Fitting.”
It makes Suho laugh, the vibrations becoming one with Sieun’s heartbeat. Suho lifts his head, eyes full of nothing but love. “They have a ton of different meanings, y’know. The florist talked a lot about devotion, remembrance, and loyalty. Enduring love, she said.”
Sieun’s eyes grow wet. “Ah. It really is fitting, then,” he says quietly.
Suho hums in agreement. He brushes some hair out of Sieun’s eyes, hand coming to cradle his cheek. “Do you think we were married in our past lives?”
Sieun leans into the warmth. “Do you?” he asks instead. Just to see what Suho would say.
“Maybe,” Suho shrugs. “Marriage is a bit too specific. Our paths would still have crossed though, I just know it.”
“Then that means we would’ve loved each other too,” Sieun states like it’s common knowledge. Suho tilts his head with an endeared smile. “In our past lives, in our future ones, in the lives that take place in different worlds - I think we’ll always love each other. We’ll find each other, and then we’ll love each other. Maybe not in that order, but it’ll happen nonetheless.”
Something shines in Suho’s eyes. “Yeah?” He laughs a little, a stray tear rolling down.
Sieun wipes it away with his thumb. “Enduring love. I like that.”
They stare at each other for a moment, just looking. As if committing this all to memory.
“Let’s stay together for a long time, Suho-yah,” Sieun whispers.
Suho takes his hand and presses a long kiss to his knuckles, and then to his wrist, where his pulse beats strongly. “Of course. Where else would we be?” he asks, like the answer is obvious. Because it is obvious, Sieun thinks.
Where else would Suho be if not next to Sieun, and where would Sieun be if not next to Suho? It’s just one of the many facts of the universe.
Suho pulls him closer, their lips melding together like they’re sealing a promise. There’s a light breeze, the moon watches over them, and Sieun’s never felt more at peace in his life.