Chapter Text
It was pathetic, truly, utterly pathetic. You didn’t run far. What was the point? You had once again destroyed something beautiful in your cursed life. Like a coward, you’d run. You knew he was fast and strong. You’d seen him move, tear apart trees as if they were nothing. He could decimate you with one blow. Right now, in your deep melancholy, you’d welcome his violence with open arms.
You ended up deep in the small forest by a babbling brook and rested your weary bones there. The noise of the water lapping and the gentle sway of the trees helped calm the panic that had wracked your body. Now, all that remained was a deep, heavy sadness. It filled you as if you were a small well, but the sadness was filling you too fast, and your crumbling bricks couldn't contain it, and how did you even end up here? Through all of the tragic events in your life, this one was the one to finally plunge you into a black sea, never to return. Your heartache was interrupted by the softest sound, wings flapping in the breeze, descending into your space. Curiously, you turned to look over your shoulder. On a rock perched an utterly gorgeous creature—a proud raven. She regarded you first and then proceeded to preen her feathers.
A raven, a bird which symbolised so much to so many, and, in a more sensible state, you would have recounted that. But in this moment, sensibility had abandoned you, and your mind screeched to a halt at the most stereotypical, fearmongered symbol...death. It was clearly the only conclusion; you released a humourless laugh at the timing, it seemed nature did have a sense of humour, and she was laughing at you.
“I shouldn't be surprised at your visit, should I, my darling?” The crow regarded you again with her lovely beady eyes; such intelligence and wisdom hidden beneath them, it would be cruel to be cross at this creature, harbinger of death or not, she was innocent in the message she carried to you. You stood up and approached a convenient berry bush not a few feet away and collected some of the small fruit. You kneeled in front of the magnificent bird, hand outstretched with the fruit, a silent offering of a final friendship, kinship.
The bird gently pecked at the berries, quietly content. You spoke again, “Tell me, dear raven, is your appearance a foreshadowing of the death of my vessel? Or the death of this connection with my companion, whom I hold so dearly to my breaking heart?” The bird, of course, remained silent. You allowed a sad smile. The universe was never straightforward with her answers, no matter how many berries you fed her. For the time being, you let your words tumble from your mouth, the woods had become your confession booth and the raven, your priestess. She was eager to hear your sins.
“I have not handled things well, and I live with the guilt every day. To curse not once but twice...I am what the people say I am. Before, I felt my punishment at the hands of man was so unjustified...but now, I am not so sure. I see their faces every night in my sleep. And even though I hated them, loathed them, their deaths are on my hands. Somehow, my poor companion carried out my terrible will...oh god...have I made a murderer out of him?" You covered your mouth in utter horror at the stark realisation. What had you done?! The words fell from your lips like water now, escaping between trembling, blood-tainted fingers "- I had thought my reasoning was justified... I’ve had everything taken from me, my mother, my kin, my first love, my friend...and now” you paused “Well...I put a stop to that before it could even begin, didn’t I? Who am I to taint such a beautiful creation? His existence is impossible, and yet... the world is so blessed to have him. The way he looks at me, gods, it's like I created the sun for him! Hung the stars in the sky for him. I am so...so undeserving of that type of worship. It's my fault...I did this to him...He must hate me”
By now, the bird had finished her food, but still she stayed in your company, which you greatly appreciate. She would listen to your woes and carry them on her wings when she inevitably flew into the sky, away into the setting sun. You longed to fly with her. But this was your punishment, to sit in the ashes of your poorly built empire of revenge and regret. It was all you deserved.
“He told me about Elizabeth, you know? Sweet, beautiful Elizabeth. I miss her with my everything. I had warned her, tried to tell her to stay away from that monster...that, Frankenstein. But like Icarus, she flew too close to the sun. It gladdens my heart that I had never wished ill will upon her soul, her death is not on my hands, my dear beautiful girl...too tender for this world" You held the feeling for a moment, the desperation to see your friend again, the hope that she was somewhere better, far away from this wretched existence.
"It is obvious my friend loved her; how could he not? She was one of the few who’d ever cared for him, treated him with kindness. I’m so glad he found her,” you sighed and looked down at yourself “But I am not her, I’m not dainty...perfect, soft like a butterfly. I am hard, damaged and bitter. He deserves better. He-”
The pounding of heavy feet had your words sticking in your throat, choking you and refusing to let you speak. Even though your body had seized in its position, your neck still had freedom to pivot your head to face the imposing presence. The creature stood tall, taking in lungfuls of air, and he just stared at you. His golden brown rapily moving over your form, assessing.
“I-” you began, What would you say? 'I'm sorry I'm a monster, and I made you do those awful things’? ‘I accept that you're here to kill me’? ‘I understand if you don't want me anymore, hell, I wouldn't want me either’
“You're safe...I was worried about you. Are you...hurt?” Oh...you weren’t expecting that. Your mouth refused to move, and you just stared ahead at your companion while he moved closer into the space. He towered over you now as he spoke again, still slightly breathless “Why did you run?”
You felt like a child.
“I-”
“Did I do something wrong?” he looked devastated. Oh gods, what had you done? “NO!” You cried, “I-”
“Are you scared of me?” Why did he have to keep asking that?! You knew the answer perfectly well, but it didn't make it any less painful “No, I-”
“Then why did you-”
“BECAUSE I FEEL SO MUCH FOR YOU!” You cried desperately. There it was, the nail placed carefully on the coffin lid, may as well hammer it in “Because my feelings for you scare me, because I do not deserve you. Because I made you...made you kill them...I willed it! With my curses, my magic...I did...” No more lies, it was out now. Ugly and writhing on the floor, the unfiltered truth. It was so, so scary to look at, but you refused to turn your watery gaze away. He deserved your pain; he deserved to drink your anguished tears.
The creature was muted, his face scrunched up in thought. This was too much for his young mind; you should have known better than to place this heavy burden of emotion on top of him like this. Still in silence, he lowered his large form to the floor cautiously, as if you were a forest creature he didn't want to frighten away. He looked so young, so unassuming, so HIM.
After a few moments of quiet contemplation his words rumbled out to you, eyes shining with conviction “I am...still finding my way with my words, you know this. One of the reasons I read so much, its so I can better explain myself but-” he held a fist to his chest, his heart “I think I know enough words to tell you how I...feel. To tell you what I know...” Your eyes widened. Here it comes. Whether you wanted to hear this or not, you had conceeded, nodding your heavy head for your companion to continue.
“From the first time I saw you...like my old friend, the blind man”, he explained, "I was moved by your kindness, your need to save everyone who walked through your door. There were days when, I would have to stop myself from walking through it. I heal, and I cannot die, yet I would make an excuse, somehow, to receive your care. I thought about cutting my hand, wounding myself just...just to know the softness of your hands.” He grasped your hands then, turning them slowly in his own huge ones, he released an amused huff, “Now I do, I fear I have become greedy.” His mouth quirked.
Before you could interrupt, he held his hand up this time, very much imitating you earlier that day, you could almost laugh if not for the stifling air surrounding you “Please, let me say what I need to say, and then you can talk...Do you understand?” You could howl with the cheekiness of it! A wrecked grin covered your face. Was he trying to...cheer you up?
“Thank you. As I watched, I learned so much from you, about you. I learned how you liked to dance in the fields on a summer's day, how you would berate yourself if you could not save a friend. You would cry for hours, and I wished, more than anything to hold you. To tell you that you had done your best. But more than that. I learned about your shame, the shame you privately carried, the shame you felt at what you are...I had truly found a kindred spirit”
“When I saw you in that prison, I felt it more. My maker had placed me in shackles as soon as I was made. To him, I wasn't perfect, and he...hated me for it” He grunted, his anger suddenly rising. You flipped your hand over in his palm, rested it on his forearm and gave a soft squeeze, reassurance. He took a grounding breath with a grateful smile.
“But to see you in that place, so beaten, so broken by these people. I saw a mirror of myself, and to me, that was far worse. I no longer felt rage for myself, but for you. How could they treat something so beautiful, so poorly? I knew I had to help you. I had to save you in any way I could.” he paused, as if to pre-formulate how he would deliver his next words. It was adorable and such a wonder to see his mind work.
“When I stayed with my old friend, He let me read his books. I read one called The Sorrows Of Young Werther. It taught me much. About sorrow, hopelessness and...love,” You gasped, his poetry moved you, and yet the mere mention of love, that wicked emotion, terrified you to your core. However, you had promised to be silent had you not? And so that is how you remained.
“People do not comprehend how deeply I understand the feeling of love. I think it is one of the first things I felt, for my creator, my father” You had to push down a hiss, now was not the time “I have then felt heartache, Unrequited love and then from his rejection, the loss of it. To be discarded so easily. My mind, struggled to keep up with his demands, and so, I lost his love. I didn't feel it again until death carried him away."
"I felt true love, and then heartache for Elizabeth. Time had been robbed from us, that and our fledgling love. And then you. I was not looking for it when I found myself outside your hut, and yet, without realising it, you had gifted it to me” he looked at you now, really looked at you, as if you were a wonderous specimen under a microscope, a masterpiece of art in a distinguished art gallery. You couldn't take it.
“With you. Through it all, my love has grown. It had the time I needed; to nurture it and for once, to truly feel it. You would not run away from me; you have accepted me as I am. I had one sole petition from my creator: to make someone like me, a companion I could spend my endless days with. With his death, I feared it was impossible. And yet, in you, I have found that. Someone...like...me..."
He took a moment then, to allow you to process his words, to feel them and know them. He understood that such an impossible concept as love needed time, needed understanding.
"The story you told me. It does not make me hate you. In fact, I feel my love for you grow. You have committed acts you regret, like me. But...You did it for your love, whether wrong or not, you did it for love. And please do not blame yourself for the acts of violence I have enacted. Like you, my love was damaged, and so my rage was indulged. I only knew one or the other. I, too, lashed out in anger when those I cared for had been taken from me, when I had been hunted, merely for existing. In those heated moments of passion, it seems rage is the only answer. If you would permit me, we could learn to temper that rage together? And- I could never hate you...for being human"
You collapsed into his arms, and he gathered you with crippling tenderness; it only made you cry into his blue shirt harder. Through it all, he held you, rocked you back and forth and encased you in arms that could eradicate a town of people, had done...all for you. His arms held you close, with such delicacy, such love. He rested your head underneath his chin and whispered to you, adoring words of encouragement, words that let you know that in all of this strangeness, all of this newness, it would all be alright.
Time faded into the background; you had no idea how long you had both stayed in that embrace, but if you could stay in it for a lifetime, you gladly would. Once you felt your emotions had stabilised, you leaned back to look at him. You placed your hands gently on either side of his patchwork face, your thumb a feather-light touch on his cheek. A touch he happily leaned into, you were certain if he were a cat, he’d be purring right now. The pleased rumble he released instead delighted you.
“You have his face”
“I know...” he mumbled, his eyes softening in understanding “, But...I am not him. Sometimes I have dreams, memories that are not my own, the longer I am alive...the more they fade. My...my thoughts and feelings are my own, my soul, it is me” you nodded, relief washing over you. You couldn’t quite explain it, but you were glad. Whilst you missed Adam, you supposed the same way the creature missed Elizabeth, this was vastly different. The loves you’d both had before... they were gone. Their souls washed clean with the tide, becoming a part of the universe again, they were in a happier place, you were certain of it now. It was time to put that chapter to sleep, time to embrace something new.
“I am glad. Whilst you may have his face, your soul, your eyes, your body...It is you. I do not know if that makes sense. Even if you are made of different components, you are you and-” You gently threaded your fingers through his soft brown and white strands with as much love as you could muster in such a simple action “I fear I have fallen deeply in love with all of it. I love you” You let the admission fall from your lips in reverence. What a beautiful, wonderful truth indeed.
The creature's face broke out into a life-changing smile, so radiant, so ethereal, you couldn’t help yourself any longer. Men spent lifetimes trying to reach god, trying to encourage a visit from one of his angels, and yet here you were, achieving what felt like both. With trembling, tentative fingers , you pulled his face down slowly, giving a chance to pull away, you guided him to you and touched your lips to his in a gentle press.
A supernova of warmth exploded between you, a feeling, a connection so wondrous, even philosophers wouldn't comprehend it, poets couldn't write about it. You would hardly call it a kiss, but you refused to scare this gentle creature and just the simple touch of your lips to his surprisingly smooth ones had lit your world alight as no other could. You had closed your eyes to bask in the moment, but you could feel his own burning into you, setting you on fire with their intensity.
After a few moments of pressing your lips to unresponsive ones, you gradually drew back, convinced that you had broken this poor soul. Larger hands encased both sides of your head in a soft cocoon and drew you back in with eagerness. This time, those divine lips responded to yours; even though it was a simple press back, the action held so much enthusiasm, it was everything. He was everything.
Laughing you had to playfully bat the greedy fiend away when he refused to stop; you blamed yourself, really. You had given him this, taught him such a simple yet monumental act that now he was addicted. Even though he let you lean back, he wouldn’t let you move far from his lap, possessive thing!
“Now, whilst that was in fact life-changing, dear. It seems very improper to me that I have confessed my love to you, KISSED you and yet, we have not figured out a name for you-”
“Adam” He proclaimed proudly. Your face dropped “Oh, are you, are you sure? There are so many others? Why not think about it a little longer?”
“I do not wish to mean it as I am stealing the name of your first...love” His face scrunched up again. “But my friend, one of the first books he ever showed me...It was Paradise Lost, a story of the First man and First woman-”
“She wasn't the first woman” You interjected sourly. He looked at you in utter confusion. You waved your hand “I am very bitter about the subject. I will teach you, but please, carry on, love”.
Your heart did a strange jig in your chest when he visibly preened at the pet name. You were doomed “I would like to pay tribute to my friend, and I feel it is fitting with my beginnings. I have thought about it often, even before all of this; somehow, my mind was stuck with its rightness. If-” He looked at you from under his ridiculously long lashes, bashful and seeking your favour “If the name pleases you too?” You couldn’t help but smile proudly at him “Yes, my love, it’s perfect. My Adam.”
When you tried to embrace him again, the forgotten raven picked this very opportunistic time to hop from her perch and onto your shoulder, head tilting with a mischievous glint, she looked very pleased with herself. “Ah, my dear, I suppose I have some apologising to do. You were clearly here to bring us good tidings, weren’t you? The death of our past and the birth of something beautiful. Whilst you are an omen of death to the small-minded. You are also beauty, wisdom, and transformation. You have gifted up with a new chapter, thank you, my friend. You lifted your hand gently to pet her beak, which she gladly nibbled.
The creat-Adam looked thoughtful for a second and then declared, “That is what I will name you!”
“But...you already know my name?” You looked at him, puzzled “Yes, but I desire to call you something fitting of who you are. You are beautiful, fierce, wise, mysterious. Sometimes," he laughed "you are quite mischievous, but you are also my harbinger of good tidings” He placed a gentle kiss on your forehead, petting the bird with you, “You, my love, shall be my raven”.