Chapter Text
Post Arc 5 AU:
A flower on each arm. That phrase brought Subaru many complicated emotions. Perhaps it was the nostalgia of it. It was a phrase he often correlated with Rem and Ram. When he and the twins went out to Arlam, Rem and Ram would make sure to be on either side of him, hence the phrase, “a flower on each arm.”
Now, why was he reminiscing on such times, especially since he was unable to replicate such outings with the maid sisters, to no fault of their own? Well, it was because as of now. Subaru was a married man.
He was a married man to not one, but two women.
That’s correct, Subaru now, once more, had two women on either side of him, a flower for each arm.
Did that make him a sinful man? That is the best question to ask.
…
No! It was not his fault he was in this situation. Everything was just so… How could he explain this?
“Dear husband, are you ignoring me? I have been trying to bring your attention to me for so long, and yet you still find the gall, the ignorance, the arrogance, to ignore me! How dare you! For a fulfilled being like myself, being treated as so, being shafted like so, it is humiliating! I, the most fulfilled of all, I the most elegant and prudent of women, should never be let down like this! Unacceptable. By all accounts, this is a total failure! Be ashamed, you, my husband, have utterly failed! Do you not understand your position, your personal pedestal, where you will keel and kneel, for me, and me only? Where your very attention should be plastered upon me, and me only! Turn your head my way, and look at me! Only me! Now!”
By the end of the rant, the voice, feminine in its pitch, began to sound more needy than arrogant, almost… vulnerable. No, that would be a lie. Subaru will not let himself be fooled. Not by her, and the group of monsters she hails from.
Begrudgingly, Subaru slanted his head to his to look at the origin of the voice.
There, in all her, “glory,” was Regina Corneas. Long white hair, flowing from her head and spilling over her shoulders. A blank white dress that covered her body all the way down to her legs, until a little above her knees, where the dress split, revealing her legs, her feet snug into a pair of white heels. Her dress bore a black collar, which was high enough to cover up almost her entire neck, with the final touch being gold highlights that plagued her attire. She stared into Subaru’s eyes, her golden eyes meeting his brown ones.
“Yes, Regina?” Subaru grumbled. “Do you need anything?”
“Hah? What is with that sarcastic tone? Are you making a fool of me? That is a violation of my rights! How dare you-”
Subaru cut her off, putting a finger to her mouth, shushing her. “I was not being sarcastic,” he claimed. He totally was, but he does not care for Regina too much. He holds little appreciation for her, in fact, it could be said that Subaru might honestly hate Regina. The girl in question muttering something about being “cut off,” or "interrupted," with her golden eyes narrowed at the raven-haired boy.
However, even though Subaru strongly disliked Regina, he did not hate her the most at the moment. That title belonged to the other flower on his arm, the women at his other side.
“Mou, Regina-chan, being so possessive and aggressive is unbecoming of a woman…”
“Eh? Emilia, that line was almost out of character for you, you know?”
“Mmmm,” Emilia hummed. “Maybe, but Ram said that if Regina acted like this, I should say that,” she revealed.
“Hah!? Speaking of another woman while in my presence? Ridiculous, a total violation of my rights! And speaking of my rights, it is more than acceptable for me to speak to my husband like this, after all, is he not owned by me? And more than so…” Regina walked up to Emilia, getting up into the half-elf’s face. “With you being my wife, you should also be assisting me in my endeavors of disciplining my husband. After all, he belongs to me! But you also belong to me! So you both belong to one another, and the two of you will belong together while being owned by me! So fix it! Now!”
Subaru and Emilia blinked. This entire situation was making less and less sense as time went on. It would not be surprising if they met their breaking point soon with Regina.
“Regina-” Subaru began.
“And you!” she yelped, cutting him off, before spinning away from Emilia right to him, getting up in his face now. “Do not shush me again!” she spun around, and walked away, her dress flowing in the wind.
Subaru shot a tired look at Emilia, who glanced back at him with the same look.
Sighing, the two of them follow their “wife,” unless they want her to throw a super-powered tantrum.
Now, how did they get in such a situation in the first place? Sometimes, Subaru wanted to ask the same question, however, he doubted he would get a proper answer. It just all went wrong in Priestella.
After their first night in Priestella, Subaru, Beatrice, and Emilia went out to explore the city. There, they had a run-in with the Witch Cult, including both the Archbishop of Wrath, Sirius and the Archbishop of Greed, Regina. The entire fiasco ended when Regina kidnapped Emilia, spouting about how Emilia was the perfect wife.
Later on, alongside Reinhard, Subaru crashed Regina’s wedding with Emilia, where an ensuing fight between Regina and Reinhard took place, wreaking havoc throughout Priestella. However, Reinhard was caught off guard by Regina, and sent into space. Which left it to Subaru and Emilia to deal with her. However, in a strange twist of fate, Regina stopped fighting the two of them.
She simply skipped over to Subaru, and before the knight could move away, declared him her husband. This came to the shock of everyone, especially since Regina had just attempted to take Emilia as her bride, but according to the Sin Archbishop, “a fulfilled existence such as her deserves both a husband and wife,” or whatever connotations came with that. Subaru tried to argue, even bringing up how someone like Reinhard was a better option, however, Regina was adamant with her decision. It seemed the Sin Archbishop held an extreme dislike for the Sword Saint.
Speaking of which, Reinhard had returned from space, and picked up where he left off, duking out with Regina as Subaru and Emilia analyzed from behind, trying to figure out Regina’s authority. However, the two of them were unable too. And soon, when the sun began to rise, symbolizing a long night of fighting, Subaru and Emilia agreed to compromise, to stop any more destruction from spreading.
The three of them would sign, and follow a contract together.
For one, Regina was separately married to Subaru and Emilia, and Subaru and Emilia were married to one another. Next, Regina is not allowed to work alongside the Witch Cult during the duration of her marriage with Subaru and Emilia, and that includes not harming anyone that Subaru and Emilia do not permit her to harm. And third, Regina is to release the fifty-three women she held as bridesmaids.
Surprisingly, Regina quickly agreed, and thus, the contract was formed. The bridesmaids were somewhat upset that Regina was still alive, that much was apparent, even under their composed faces. However, it was a small victory that all of them were pretty much free, and with Subaru and Emilia assistance, all of them would find jobs in Roswaal’s territories and reintegrate into society. Sure, the process would be slow, but it was a start.
A weirder thing? The public, instead of being angered with Subaru and Emilia marrying a Sin Archbishop, instead sympathized with the knight and his lady. To the outside world, it looked as if both Subaru and Emilia had possibly sacrificed their livelihood in order to placate the proclaimed invincible Sin Archbishop of Greed. While Subaru and Emilia had felt undeserving of the praise, Roswaal had used the situation to spin stories for the Emilia camp, strengthening how the civilians of Lugunica saw the camp.
Due to public support, and the “technical” submission of an archbishop, the marriage was allowed to stand by the council, who had originally forbade the dragon maidens from marrying during the selection.
It was… it was something at least.
“Subaru!” Emilia’s voice called out.
Subaru turned to her, spotting her quickly. She and Regina were sitting on a picnic blanket, the food Frederica having prepared them set out, ready to be eaten.
“Coming!” Subaru called out, jogging to the two of them.
“It is audacious for you to impede on my time like this, dear husband. If I were a less merciful spouse, your head would no longer be resting upon your shoulders,” Regina warned.
Subaru shivered. “Alright!” he yelped. “I’m here now, relax.”
“Watch your tone,” Regina snapped, before turning to Emilia. The two of them stared at each other before Regina groaned. “Well?” she coaxed.
Emilia simply tilted her head, confused. “Well, what?” From the look in the half-elf’s eyes, it was clear she was losing patience.
Regina scoffed, before reaching a hand out and picking up one of the sandwiches Fredierca prepared for their picnic. “Open your mouth,” she ordered.
Emilia’s eye twitched, violently. Truly, this woman in front of her was one of the few people in this world she could not stand. Her very existence, which forced the contract between the three of them, violated the image of marriage she had. It only brought her one thing, which was becoming closer to Subaru. Closer than Emilia could ever imagine. The half-elf shook her head.
“I’ll pass,” Emilia declared. “I’m not too hungry-”
Emilia was cut off as Regina forced a piece of the sandwich down Emilia’s throat. Coughing, the half-elf managed to force the sandwich down, before shooting a glare at Regina.
“Wha- What was that for!” Subaru scolded. Regina sent him an annoyed look.
“I’m simply fulfilling my rights as both of your spouse’s,” Regina replied.
“Yeah, feeding us, not trying to kill us- urghh!” Subaru was cut off as well, as Regina quickly stuffed a piece of the sandwich into Subaru’s mouth.
Just like Emilia, Subaru struggled to cope with the sudden attack, but similarly overcame it and forced himself to swallow the sandwich.
The two of them, gasping for air, made sure to glare at Regina with all the contempt they could muster.
Suddenly, a smug smile made its way onto Subaru’s face. “Hey, Regina, since you’re both mine and Emilia’s spouse, can we feed you? It would be a violation of our rights to not be able to do so…”
This was the perfect counter. Just as how Regina made the process of eating the sandwich horrible for them, they would inflict her with the same suffering. Sure, the Sin Archbishop of Greed was invincible, but after spending so much time with her, Emilia and Subaru realized her superiority-complex was fragile. Not because it was easy to take down and deal with, but because each time Emilia and Subaru did something that humiliated Regina, the humiliation would feel all the much worse.
Now, all they needed was for Regina to agree-
“No,” Regina replied.
Emilia blinked, her eyes darkening. “No?” she whispered in a hush tone.
Regina nodded. “Mhm, a fulfilled being such as myself does not need to eat.”
A subtle grin made its way onto her face, and Subaru swore it was mocking him.
“Why you-”
“Well then,” Emilia interrupted, her voice low. “I suppose I’ll have to feed Subaru then!” Emilia brought a half of a sandwich to Subaru’s mouth. “Come Subaru, take a bite,” she grinned.
Subaru blinked, before smiling. “Anything for you, Emilia-tan!” he declared, before munching on the sandwich, little by little, he made his way through the entire thing, before finishing it off.
“Silly thing,” Emilia chirped, before raising a finger to wipe the small drop of mayonnaise off Subaru’s cheek. Slowly, she brought the finger to her mouth, before licking the mayonnaise off of it, and sending Subaru a cheeky smile.
Could he be falling in love with her, all over again? Because that was how he felt at the moment, red rising across his face, and deep blush plastered onto his face.
“E-Emilia!” he croaked, embarrassed.
“Hm?” Emilia acknowledged, tilting her head slightly, just enough to ring Suabru’s “cute” alarm.
Subaru swallowed. “W-Well, it's my turn!”
Subaru brought a sandwich to her mouth, and Emilia quickly conceded, taking one bite after the other. Subaru could have sworn that just a little while ago, Emilia had declared she was not hungry.
Emilia finished the sandwich Subaru was holding for her, before looking up at Subaru, a small drop of mayonnaise on her cheek. “Is there anything on my face?” she asked, clearly trying to taunt him.
And taunt him she did. She knew exactly what she was doing, and Subaru, the foolish man he was, still fell for it.
However, he would still beat her. Instead of wiping the drop of mayonnaise off, he leaned in, and licked it off, no middle-man needed. Just the feeling of his tongue, on her skin. Would it be improper for Emilia to say that made her feel warm?
A deep blush coloring her pale skin, Emilia tilted her head. It was clear she wanted more.
Subaru did not hesitate, leaning in, and pressing his lips to hers. While his lips were somewhat chapped, Emilia’s was soft. Soon, he felt the tip of her tongue press his lips. Quickly, he obliged, opening his lips, and letting her tongue wander into his mouth. He made sure to replicate her, exploring her mouth as well. It was a little off, since the two of them had just eaten sandwiches, however, it was undeniable that the kiss felt amazing. Pulling away, a strand of spit being the last remnant of their kiss.
After being “married,” the two of them had gotten a lot more comfortable together. Comfortable enough to share kisses together.
Slowly, Emilia turned her head to Regina, who was fuming. Emilia shot the Sin Archbishop a small smile. “Do you need anything, Regina-chan?”
Regina huffed, before standing up and walking away.
Quickly, Subaru and Emilia jumped up to put everything away.
“Why did she react like that?” Subaru asked, folding the picnic blanket.
Emilia stared at Regina. “I’m not sure…”
Subaru shuffled in Emilia arms.
After the two of them were “married,” they had begun to sleep in the same room. It just felt… right. That was how Subaru would describe it.
Emilia loved snuggling up with Subaru in the dead of night. It helped calm her down. Of course there was one drawback. Every time they slept, the two of them were segregated to one side of the bed, while Regina took up the whole other half of the bed. The worst part was that Regina did not sleep, she did not need to after all. She simply laid on her back, staring up at the ceiling, while Subaru and Emilia made themselves comfortable.
Emilia took a look at Subaru’s face, which shone under the moon. His eyes, usually sharp, looked softer under the knight's illuminance. With him still wrapped in her arms, she gave him a small peck on the lips.
Subaru smiled, understanding. “Goodnight, Emilia-tan…” he mumbled. It seemed he was tired already. Slowly, he shut his eyes.
“Goodnight, my knight,” she replied, before closing her own eyes, holding him in her embrace.
…
Emilia felt something get in between her and Subaru.
Her eyes snapping open, she found Regina wedged in between them, her arms folded across her chest, Subaru on her right, and Emilia on her left.
“What!?” Emilia asked, confused.
“Hey!” Subaru complained.
“I’m simply becoming a more fulfilled spouse,” Regina chirped, a smug smile on her face. “Now, let us fall asleep, together!”
Suabru’s eyes twitched. “I need to hold Emilia-”
“Actually, I was the one holding you-”
“That’s right, Emilia needs to hold me, so get out of the way, please,” Subaru corrected, trying to be polite.
“No.”
And there goes the ability to keep a cool head.
“Let me get to Emilia!” Subaru raised his voice, trying to get up, but Regina simply extended her arm, shoving him back into the bed, before doing the same with Emilia.
The knight and his liege looked at one another, tired.
Emilia sight, before extending an arm over Regin to reach Subaru. Subaru replicated Emilia, reaching over Regina to reach Emilia. To any random onlooker, the scene could be seen as three people hugging one another. However, in reality, it was a third-wheel getting in the way of the main couple. Holding one another, and Regina, in a hug, Suabru and Emilia settled in for rest, for the last time.
“Good night, Emilia-tan,” Subaru called out.
“Good night, Subaru,” Emilia replied.
The both of them closed their eyes, and allowed sleep to embrace them.
…
Regina cleared her throat. “As the most merciful and fulfilled being, I will assume it was a mistake that the two of you did not give me a ‘good night.’ Correct it before I stop being merciful.”
Subaru and Emilia sighed, their eyes snapping open. They were doing that a lot now, huh?
“Good night Regina…” Subaru grumbled.
“Good night Regina-chan…” Emilia concluded, before closing her eyes again.
Subaru follows suit, closing his eyes next.
That was a good idea for the two of them, otherwise they would be subjected to seeing Regina smile a beaming smile.
The moon shone even bright that day, marking the turning point of Subaru and Emilia’s lives.
Has third-wheeling ever been this bad?