Chapter Text
PROLOGUE
Nathan and I have been friends since the 3rd grade and before long he became my bestest friend in the entire world! He had always been there for me; whenever I would get bullied, my parents argued or yelled at me, when my dog died, and throughout my transitioning journey.
“Look in the mirror and tell me who you are.”
“I’m a boy…?”
“More confidence!”
“I’m a boy.”
“We’ll work on it..”
Nathan has always treated me as a boy and has never seen me as otherwise, which I am so thankful for! I would have never been able to pick a name for myself.
“These are all cool names..I can’t pick..”
“I think Zane would fit you best.”
“Hm… too basic.”
“How about this..” He writes out ‘ZAYN’ on a piece of paper.
“I like it!”
Even at a young age Nathan was there for me. Whenever someone would use the wrong pronouns or name he would correct them on the spot!
“HIS name is ZAYN!”
It made me feel loved and valued. I could never ask for anyone more perfect than Nathan.
PRESENT
“Zayn? Zayn!” Nathan shouted.
I was curled up in bed. Lights off and music on as rain hit the window.
“I got your message..” He offers me a hug. I accept it.
I took off my headphones when I see Nathan walk in. “They never stop arguing..” I hug him tightly, tears staining his grey shirt.
Nathan thinks for a second and gets up. He looks outside the hallway for any monster before closing the door. He grabs one of my extra blankets and makes a big pallet on the floor.
“I’ll stay here for the night! Will that help?” Nathan looked at me. I have always loved the way his eyes stared at me, wide but dreamy. It made me feel seen. Literally and figuratively.
I nod, I feared that if I said anything I’d start crying.
Nathan raises up to my height and grabs my headphones. “I promise, I’ll get you out of here when I can.” He puts the headphones on for me and turned the volume to the highest setting.
“I’ll be right here. You’re not alone.” He gives me one last bear hug and holds me the entire time I cried the tears I thought I was holding back.
He wipes all my tears off my face with a roll of tissue before tucking me in.
“Goodnight.” He gets ready to tuck himself in.
“Thank you..” I mumbled.
“...”
Maybe he didn’t hear me. “Thank you.” I repeated a bit louder.
Nathan turns around to me. “I heard you the first time.” He smiles.
A smile that I could never not give back. I nudge him in the head and we share a laugh together. I don’t know how to describe it but…It made me feel warm. Warm and safe.
“Hey Nate..”
“Hm?”
“Can you…”
Nathan raises up with his usual concerned look on his face.
“Get in bed..?”
Without a second thought Nathan jumps in bed and wraps his arm around me.
“I’m right here Zayn.” He holds me tight until I fall asleep.