Chapter Text
“Gao Tu,” Shen Wenlang whispers, lips warm against his fevered skin. “I love you.”
A soft moan escapes Gao Tu as Shen Wenlang’s tongue traces a slow, teasing path over his heated body. “Alpha,” he gasps, voice trembling. “More… love you.”
“Don’t tempt me.” Shen Wenlang’s mouth moves expertly toward one of Gao Tu’s stiff nipples, swirling his tongue around it. “To think you could have been mine from the start. I’ve been such a fool.”
“Alpha.” Gao Tu’s moan deepens, pleasure flooding through him. “More. Please, more.”
“Yes, omega. You’ll have everything.” Shen Wenlang takes the other nipple into his lips, sucking gently before biting just enough to claim. “All mine.”
A soft murmur slips from Gao Tu’s lips as he wakes, swallowed by darkness.
Again, he dreams about the man, tormenting his already heat-ridden body. Must even his mind punish him for longing for someone who never sees him as anything more than a loyal, invisible beta? An ugly beta, at that.
Tears slip from his eyes like a dam breaking free.
Still, he can feel the ghost of Shen Wenlang’s lips on his fevered skin. But it isn’t real, just a fantasy his lonely, aching heart clings to for comfort.
The heat crawls over him like poison, burning every inch of his body. He bites his wrist hard, chasing the sting to silence the moan rising in his throat… the sound of an omega aching for an alpha.
Not just any alpha.
His alpha.
Shen Wenlang.
But he’s not yours, the omega in him whispers bitterly. The thought only feeds the fire inside. His pheromones leak out, wetting his body in places he’d rather it didn’t. God, he hopes it’s sweat and no other fluids.
His eyes snap open in panic. The S-class alpha is just beyond the door. If Shen Wenlang sees him like this, it won’t end well.
“Gao Tu, you alright in there?” Shen Wenlang’s sleepy voice filters through the door. There’s anger in it, softened by drowsiness. “That damn omega is stinking up the place. I can’t get any sleep. I swear they’ve been hanging around your apartment trying to lure you outside.”
Gao Tu unbuttons his shirt, pressing a hand to his burning chest. Too hot. He needs something cold. Anything.
Gathering what little strength he has, he says, “They’re not here. Please leave.”
A cramp seizes him, and he nearly cries out. The scent of Shen Wenlang—burning incense and iris—fills the air. It makes Gao Tu want to crawl to the door, open it, and fall into the alpha’s arms.
But that will never happen.
“What the hell, Gao Tu!” Shen Wenlang sounds more frustrated now. “You’re clearly not okay. Wait, did that omega sneak in while I was asleep? That wrench! I swear, if I catch them—”
“They’re not here,” Gao Tu says, discarding his shirt completely. “Please leave, Mr. Shen. I know I’m just a lowly beta and I have no right to ask this, but… please. I can’t have you in here.”
Shen Wenlang knocks again, this time too gently. “If this is because of that omega, I won’t touch them! They’re safe from me.” He makes a disgusted sound. It cuts through Gao Tu’s chest like a knife. “I’m worried about you, Gao Tu. You’re sick. And that omega thinks it’s okay to come here smelling like that.”
Gao Tu rubs his arms, desperate for comfort. “No omega here. Only me,” he whispers. “Mr. Shen, please.”
Half of him wants Shen Wenlang to leave. The other half hopes he comes in, sees everything, and frees him from this secret. He is so tired of hiding. It only brings pain.
Shen Wenlang grits his teeth. “Fine. If you don’t want my help, I’ll go back to that uncomfortable sofa and try to sleep.” He does not sound happy. “Don’t come crawling to me later when you finally come to your senses.”
Gao Tu hears him drop onto the sofa, loud and careless.
Why can’t you leave? Tears blur his vision. Please, Wenlang. I don’t want to lie anymore. But I’m weak. A coward. A fool. My heart, my body, everything… it’s yours. Won’t you accept it, just once?
He won’t. Gao Tu knows he’s foolish to hope for the impossible.
The heat is punishment.
He strips off his pants, his undergarments, until his bare skin presses against the bed. Weakly, he moves his fingers lower, trying to ease the ache.
But it’s no use.
In the dark, he reaches for the suppressant inhaler and the injections, dousing himself with the only poison that ever works. Only then does sleep finally come, dragging him into another dream—
—and he’s not alone. But that’s only possible in the touch-starved, weak-willed corners of his mind.
“Mine,” Shen Wenlang whispers in his dream, lowering his mouth to capture Gao Tu’s flushed pink cock, as it is everything he ever wanted. His tongue swirls around it, almost sinfully so. Gao Tu shudders at the pleasure, body twitching uncontrollably.
“This belongs only to me. Say it!” Shen Wenlang says, lips still wrapped against his cock.
“Yours. Only yours, Wenlang. It has always been yours,” Gao Tu whispers, the words slipping out of him like it’s the truth. And it is… the only selfish thing Gao Tu has ever let himself felt in all of his life.
The touches feel real in the dream. Too real. Gao Tu shudders once more, lost in the illusion. Only here, there is no shame, no hiding, just the fantasy of being wanted and loved by the man his heart wants so desperately.
But it’s just a dream. And like all dreams, the memory fades away too quickly, leaving Gao Tu once again to face the cold, bitter darkness all alone, without his alpha by his side.
That omega’s scent is everywhere.
Shen Wenlang wants to push it away, scrub it clean from the air. He scoffs, legs dangling awkwardly off the edge of the sofa. A part of him aches to get up and knock down that door, but Gao Tu sent him away, insisted on keeping his scent out.
He’s sick. For god’s sake, all Shen Wenlang wants is to take care of him. He would’ve brought medicine, water, anything he needed. Wiped down his fevered skin, stayed by his side, kept him safe, kept him protected.
With a sigh, Shen Wenlang kicks the edge of the sofa. Fine. Gao Tu doesn’t want his help. It’s fine. He’s not a child.
But as he settles back, aching foot be damned, that omega’s scent lingers: sage, but deeper, warmer than ever before. This time, he doesn’t want to completely wash it away. Just for a second, before it’s gone, an involuntary moan slips from his lips.
Wenlang, what the hell? It’s that omega’s scent! And yet, it stirs something beneath his skin… something he wouldn’t dare name.
He pinches himself, desperate to silence the doubt creeping through his mind. But it crashes in anyway: What if you’re wrong? Open your damn eyes, Wenlang! What omega in heat would loiter outside a beta’s place at three in the morning and not kick the door down?
None, his rational mind insists. Gao Tu’s a beta, and he’s an S-class alpha. Neither of them carries an omega’s scent.
Still, something feels wrong. Deep down, Shen Wenlang knows he’s missing something, something important. Maybe he’s already crossed a line he can’t take back. But hasn’t it always been like this? Haven’t moments like this come before?
Isn’t this just how it always goes with him and Gao Tu?