Chapter Text
Colin was full of nervous energy on the walk home, anticipating whatever might happen next. He hadn't reckoned on this – Penelope wanting to come back to his place after their first date. Except it wasn’t really, was it?
Earlier, while Pen was dancing with the girls, Colin chatted to her friend Will, a lovely guy from her halls. He was astounded to learn it was Colin and Penelope’s first date, so Colin summarised their history rather awkwardly.
He meant to sound casual, as it should when you're talking to a guy you've just met. But Colin wasn’t much known for keeping things casual, and Will was easy to talk to – he wasn't judging him by the same standards someone like Fife would. So, Will ended up with the full, messy story. How Colin had known Pen for years, spent a month with her over Christmas and been drawn ever closer to her, before enduring all this time apart. Their misunderstanding, her relationship with Alfie Debling…
Will listened patiently and kindly to everything Colin shared, and he was left with no illusions as to the strength of Colin’s feelings for Pen. He let out a long whistle.
“Oh man, you have it bad! This isn’t your first date,” he chuckled. “No wonder you two already look so right together,” said Will. “She has you hooked, man!”
The words might have echoed Fife's comment from earlier – “Already got him well and truly under the thumb, haven't you?” – but Will's tone was entirely different.
Colin’s eyes found Penelope on the dancefloor and he nodded to Will. “Yeah.”
“Trust me, I recognise that look. See her?”
Will pointed across to his fiancée, Alice. He told Colin how they'd met at sixth form college in Birmingham, explaining how, for him, it was practically love at first sight. Colin felt like he’d found a kindred spirit in Will, the way he was completely unabashed about his feelings for Alice. He insisted it had been well worth changing his plans to come to St Andrews, giving up his place at Oxford to be near his smart, savvy fiancée.
He was pleased for Colin, because he knew what it felt like to love a woman, and Colin was just relieved to feel so understood. He could scarcely deny it – it was their first official date and he was already, irrevocably, hooked. And had been for six months.
Walking home, Colin held Penelope’s hand in his, while his other drummed a nervous beat on his thigh. He should probably say something charming, make her laugh, anything, but he felt tongue-tied. He wanted to hang out with her, more than anything, just like they did in Oz, but he was apprehensive too.
Luckily, Pen was good at filling awkward silences. “So, what was that all about back there, with Fife? I thought you were dying to travel!”
Colin shrugged. “I'd definitely like to see a bit of the world some day. But not the way Reg is planning to,” he said with a sigh. ‘I want to experience other cultures, not take drugs on a beach and hang out with the same kind of bellends I have to talk to back home—”
“—I thought he was one of your best mates!?”
He shook his head. “Nah. I mean, maybe he was, once. He's just an arsehole. Why would I want to spend my gap year with him?”
Penelope chuckled. “Fair enough. He is an arsehole.”
Back at his flat, Colin fumbled nervously with his keys to let her inside.
“Sorry about the state of this place,” he said, gesturing at the general disarray of the hallway he shared with four other guys. Any pretense at civilisation had gone out of the window, this close to the end of term. Most of them would leave for home straight after the best of the graduation parties. Colin always did his best to keep things looking vaguely acceptable, but the others made mess three times quicker than he could tidy it. The whole place stank of damp and sweat, masked with an unhealthy amount of Lynx body spray. Mortifying.
“Can you wait out here? Give me two minutes.”
He ducked into his room, quickly fluffing up the duvet and shoving some stuff into a cupboard. Then he checked his hair in the mirror, decided it would do, and opened the door, trying to act cool.
“Pen, come in.” He affected a stiff sort of bow as she passed, then cringed at his own awkwardness.
Penelope flashed him a look of amusement. Then she kicked off her boots, walked across to the bed, and perched on the edge of the mattress. She leaned back slightly on the bed, resting her hands behind her, and looked him dead in the eye. “Sooo…”
Colin looked at the floor awkwardly, then back at her. Floor. Pen. Floor. Pen. She seemed far less nervous than he felt. He was overwhelmed by the weight of his own expectations, needing to feel confident and impressive and in charge, when he was anything but. Meanwhile, she was sitting there looking gorgeous, poised, and waiting for him to make a move.
This wasn't like the last time she was here, a quick kiss and a ‘see you soon’. She'd basically invited herself to stay over. And it wasn't like their time in Australia, either. There was no Eloise to take the piss, no Greg or Hy lurking round the corner with a water balloon, no Benedict to raise a surreptitious eyebrow.
It felt like he'd found the crucial formula for romancing Penelope over that week in Australia, and now he’d forgotten it. But, he intended to undertake his studies very diligently, to rediscover everything about her. And he really did want to make a move, to kiss her again.
So, Colin smiled shyly and stooped to remove his boots. He slipped off the tail coat and chucked it on the chair, and removed the heavy studded leather chain belt that hugged his hips. Then he took a deep breath and closed the distance between them, joining her on the bed with one leg bent under him.
She half-turned to face him and he raised a tentative hand to her jaw. Their eyes locked for a moment and Colin's stomach did a backflip. Then Penelope's eyes fluttered shut and her lips parted in invitation, so he gulped away his nerves and melted into her kiss.
They took it slow at first, just kissing on the lips, Pen with her arms around his neck, Colin's hands cupping her face. Then their tongues entered the game, dancing together in perfect sync, and his head began to swirl from the feel of her. He pulled back, resting his forehead against hers, his breathing coming out ragged. Penelope let out a delightful giggle that helped release some of his tension, and he ran one hand down her back to settle at her waist.
“Pen,” he murmured, pulling away a bit further to take a proper look at her.
She flicked her eyes up to look into his. “Hey,” came her reply, with a smile.
“Hey.” And then he didn't have a clue what to say next, no way to articulate what he was thinking or feeling without coming on too strong, so he just leaned in for another snog.
They kissed each other hungrily, Penelope running her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, giving him goosebumps. He'd forgotten how much he'd enjoyed that before, forgotten so many of the details about how it had felt to kiss her. He'd thought of little else for months but the memory was a pale shadow of reality.
He parted from her lips for a moment, working his way back to circle the shell of her ear with his tongue. She made a quiet whimpering sound as he nuzzled at her neck, then worked his way gradually up, back to her mouth, seeking out her tongue with his.
Time seemed to slow for a few delicious minutes, and then Penelope stopped him with a hand on his chest, and whispered, “Colin, I'm hot.”
He hummed in approval, nipping at her throat. “Mmm yeh, so hot, Pen, your outfit tonight, so sexy—”
She threw back her head and laughed at that, and he had to pause for a moment, confused. What was so hilarious in this sacred moment?
“I mean, I'm hot! This coat—”
Colin realised his error, backing away. “Fuck, sorry, I was… I didn't realise…” He felt kind of stupid, but she smiled at him with so much affection she quickly set his mind at rest. She gently pushed him off her so she could sit up, slipping off her coat to reveal the expanse of her bare shoulders in that corset top.
He gulped at the sight of her, watching as she tossed the coat unceremoniously onto his bedroom floor. She pulled him to her for another kiss, and between the two of them – he couldn't be quite sure who instigated it – they fell back onto the bed together. He ended up half on top, bracing with his arms, scared to put weight on her in case he hurt her.
Penelope simply giggled and guided him, rearranging their positions into something more comfortable. He ended up beside her, their bodies pressed together, and she looked truly beautiful. Creamy white skin against the black of his bedsheets; glossy red curls spread across his pillow. And then she coaxed his knee between her thighs, her skirt hitched high, exposing her legs in fishnets. The heat from her centre rose against his thigh through his jeans, and Colin’s brain malfunctioned entirely.
“Pen,” he murmured quietly, swallowing hard, trying not to lose his mind, holding down the panic in his throat at the sudden weight of expectation.
“Colin, you're trembling,” Penelope told him, and he realised she was right.
“Sorry,” he said, trying to still his shaking hand as it hovered over the satin of her bodice.
She took his hand in hers and pressed it to her lips. “You don't need to be nervous…”
He chuckled at that, because how could he be anything but nervous? “It's just… I really like you, Pen. But it's a lot of pressure, because I know you and Alfie were—”
Her eyes grew wide. “—Me and Alfie were what?”
“Well, you were having all this great sex with him, and—”
“What?!” She sat more upright at that, spluttering.
“Well, you said you'd been sleeping with him for a while—” he explained, trying not to wince at the memory.
“—Yeah about that…” she said, looking sheepish. “I mean yes, I did sleep with him a handful of times. But he wasn't… I mean it wasn't good, Colin.” She pronounced it like it wasn't so much a disappointment as it was blindingly predictable.
Something inside Colin began to soar. “Wasn't it?”
She laughed. “No! Of course not! No, it was… I mean, I don't know, do I? It's my only experience… But it wasn't anything special.” She was rolling her eyes, like this was something he ought to have realised.
Colin’s shoulders dropped from somewhere around his ears, the tension all but gone. “Oh. Well that's good… I mean… I'm not pleased you were having bad sex with him…”
“Liar,” she smirked.
“Well…” He let out a laugh, more honest and guttural than he intended, his relief palpable. “I mean did you… Did he make you—”
“You mean, did I have orgasms with him?”
He’s amazed they are even having such a frank conversation about her ex. “It’s none of my business, Pen.”
“Well, you can ask. The answer is never! Not even close.”
He tries to conceal how happy that makes him. “Oh. Sorry. Well, you might not have any with me either, but…”
“I will. Of course I will have them with you, Colin.”
“You don't know that.”
“Yes, I do know that. I mean there's no rush, right?” Penelope sounded insistent and hopeful and determined.
“I’d definitely like to try, Pen,” he told her, and it might have been the most honest thing he’d said to her yet.
“Good,” she said, before grabbing his arse and pulling him down on top of her.