Work Text:
I don’t know if you’re looking for requests at the moment but if you are, could you write something featuring nonbinary Remus, Remus angst, and hurt/comfort? – monkeythefander
It starts so small that Remus isn't sure he notices it. As the literal Intrusive Thoughts, he lives in a constant state of almost-discomfort, mainly brought on by the way his side of the Imagination just…gently rasps against his skin. Just enough to make him realize what it is he's doing, what it is he's creating. So when Patton's little sigh of what a ridiculous boy makes his skin crawl, he doesn't really notice it. Granted, he's also busy wiring mustard-filled fireworks to one of his bear traps, so that might have taken precedence.
He also doesn't notice it when Logan playfully calls him an International Man of Mischief when he's having his own fun in the Imagination as a psuedo-James Bond, ready to break into one of Roman's precious little vaults armed with nothing but a rubber chicken. He feels a quick shiver of discomfort—and not really the fun kind, either—but then two seconds later there's an alarm going off and Roman's looking at him like he can't decide whether to be pissed that Remus is trying to do something like this or amused by his audacity. It's one of his favorite facial expressions on Roman, so the moment is forgotten. Besides, hard to not laugh when you start fencing your brother with rubber chickens.
He starts noticing it a little more when Janus starts calling him his nasty little bastard man. Granted, this might be because Janny has a way of saying insults like they're pet names and the amount of affection loaded behind this particular one is enough to send anyone running for the familiar ground of snark and sniping, but he has a feeling it's not just that. For one, the very first time he heard it, he'd been grinning internally until that last word, and then it just felt… off. Like—he's called the big cats that like to pounce on people in the jungle his nasty little bastard men before, and they're cats, so it works, but something about the way the comment lands just…feels weird. A bad weird.
Then Virgil's taking after him and coming up with nickname after nickname after nickname—which he's almost sort of impressed by? Virgil's not Creativity but damn can the Side think of so many ways to put words together—and they're all… weird. He's calling Remus Mustache Man and Mr. Slime Guy and Freaks and Streaks Dude and he really does call Remus dude and guy a lot and it feels just like Remus has been dipped in honey and then rolled in a pit of fire ants. Annoying, painful, and he has no idea why he's feeling it everywhere. It doesn't make any sense! It's like he's being pissed off by the fact that they're referring to him as a guy, as a man, and that doesn't make sense until—
Until he's already having a bad day, Oliver's got something wrong with his swim bladder, and Roman's holding him in his lap and calling him the best brother ever.
Remus all but howls at the discomfort, settling over his bones like sandpaper, twisting in his gut. Roman's immediately soothing him, because Roman is really the best brother ever and Remus can and will die and kill on this hill, and he's not saying anything like that again, he's just shushing Remus and gently kissing his forehead and doing that really annoyingly sweet thing he does where he makes the Imagination just a little bit quieter, a little bit sweeter, a little bit safer, and Remus is sobbing and sniveling and he doesn't know how to explain what just happened.
"Shh, shh, Re, it's okay, you take all the time you need, just—just calm down first, okay? I'm not going anywhere, I'm certainly not letting you go anywhere, and you're gonna be okay. You're always gonna be okay because I'm always gonna be right here to take care of you, yeah? I promise, Re, you're always gonna have me. Always." Roman runs his hand through his hair, scratching his scalp in that way he knows melts Remus into a little goo puddle. "Just take your time."
Remus sniffles and grabs for the scrap of cloth in Roman's pocket, blowing his nose with an angry honk. Roman rubs his back, waiting for him to get his voice back.
"'M not…'m not."
"You're not what, Re?"
"'M just not."
"Okay," Roman says slowly, like he's trying to piece it together, "you're not…at all? 'Cause I can feel you, I have you—"
"Not that."
"Okay, so you're here…is it related to what I said? That you're not the best?"
" You're the best."
"Oh, Re, I swear you're the best," Roman says, all sincerity and care and Remus could scream at how hard words are right now, "you are."
"Not that either."
Roman frowns, brows furrowed, trying to piece together what Remus can't just say, before a look of understanding crosses his face and he leans a little closer. "Was it…was it 'brother?'"
Remus tries not to flinch, but he's in Roman's arms right now and so Roman can tell immediately.
"Okay, okay, I understand, was it—was it the relationship that's the problem, or was it…was it the gender?"
Remus stares at Roman in disbelief, because how the fuck did Roman manage to figure that shit out based on nothing but Remus's ill-timed breakdown in the middle of another breakdown?
Roman's the best fucking brother ever, that's how.
They do manage to have an actual conversation, Roman's hand rubbing Remus's back every time he stumbles over his words. They figure out that no, it's not the pronouns, he/him are still just fine, it's not how he looks—he really likes how he looks, actually—it's just…'man.' The word, the identity, the concept, that's what's making Remus feel all fire ant-y. Roman just calls him the best sibling ever and kisses his forehead and mutters that if anyone ever tries to give Remus shit for this, he's gonna feed them to his dragon.
Remus doesn't cry about that specifically, but he does hug his brother about it specifically.
He did have a plan to tell everyone else. He did, he really did. And it definitely wasn't going to involve nearly biting Virgil's head off. But they were all in the living room and Virgil and Roman got into one of their fantasy-character-offs and Virgil started calling Remus things like pretty boy and handsome fellow and Remus told him to stop and when Virgil asked if he was making him nervous with a salacious grin that normally he would've been proud of, he just snaps no, but you're giving me really bad gender dysphoria, so shut the fuck up.
You could've heard a pin drop on the other side of the Imagination.
Remus manages to stammer out something along the lines of what he was originally planning to say when Virgil looks gutted, and he's then quickly swept into a cuddle that he has no intention of getting out of and that only partly has to do with the fact that they're watching Death Race for movie night and partly because he's not sure Roman or Logan will let him. Not when Logan's got one of his hands cradled in his lap, stroking it like it's something precious, and not when Roman's arms are vice-like around his waist and chest.
Now Janus calls him nasty bastard gremlin and little chaos ball— still cat-like, and he's gonna investigate that at some point too—and Logan will call him little anomaly and little Kraken. Virgil calls him Skunk and it may or may not make Remus melt into a little goo puddle but he's sure as shit not gonna tell Virgil that. And Roman, because Roman is the world's best brother, just calls him Re.
And it's perfect.