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Yelling and clattering could be heard from Nadja and Laszlo's slumbering room, he honestly couldn't tell whether they were fighting or fucking, but it didn't matter. Tracing everything on the walls with his eyes, Nandor trudged across his room, solemn.
He stopped at his coffin, placing his hands on the lid and exhaling harshly. He loathed these boughts of restlessness. The anger he felt, the weeping that would follow. Nandor couldn't understand, the sadness, the self loathing. These emotions were so weak. So useless. So human. He felt his jaw quiver. He longed for that. Not all the time, he was very comfortable as a vampire. However, maybe being human would help him understand better.
A cold tear started to form at the corner of his eye.
Everything was so silent in his room. Furrowing his brow and closing his eyes, he focused on closing them so tight, that he couldn't hear the noises outside his chambers anymore. Just deafening silence and colors in his eyelids.
There was a pregnant pause. The air felt thick, but at least it wasn't so loud anymore.
Finally. Some relief. Nandors face relaxed.
A tingling sensation started washing over him. Nandor's nose crinkled. He hummed to himself, confused. A flare of heat rushed his head, it swarmed him, from throat to crown. Pushing out large streams of tears from his eyes.
He felt like choking, coughing a yelp from his lips. Nearly crushing his head, he was holding it so tight. Trying to get the swarming fire and noise inside to stop. It sounded like yelling, like flies, like stomping.This cacophony, it sounded so familiar, not only because he's had these outbursts before, but it felt more intimate. Nandor couldn't place it, but it was hard to think. He let himself fall to his knees in front his coffin, letting out a low hissing through his gritted fangs. This felt shameful, he is THE Nandor the Relentless. He was the strongest warrior, he lead armies, HE never bro-
Wait.
Nandor heard a click, then slow creaking. The swarming receded.
The door, he thought.
WAIT!
"Nandor?"
Shit. Guillermo. He couldn't help but roll his eyes.
He smeared his tears on his brocaded sleeve, attempting to look less disheveled. Nandor started to stand but froze when Guillermo went around the coffin and met his gaze.
"Uh, you uhm, you told me to meet you in the fancy room to tell me something?" Guillermo stumbled out. Nandor's eyes dilated, inside he was nervous how Guillermo would perceive him, he has never looked this upset in front of him before. Angry, yes; but not vulnerable. He could feel the thumping of the racous noise behind his eyes. Nandor rose from his position on his knees, cleared his throat and straightened his coat.
"Yes, I did need to tell you something, a very important something." His words come out rough, and he could still hear the noises in his head. It felt like his pyrokenisis was lightning a bonfire in his mind. But when he heard Guillermo's voice, everything almost felt quiet again. Nandor could think now. Somewhat.
Guillermo's eyebrows raised sympathetically, "sooo, did you still want to go to the fancy room, we can-are, are you okay?" He raised his arms slowly, like he was trying to calm a wild animal. He turned his palms open to Nandor. Guillermo was half hoping Nandor would take his hand. Nandor discreetly pouted, watching Guillermo's hands. He tapped the top of one of Guillermo's hands downward, dismissing his short partner's help. Nandor adjusted himself and held his head high, tilting his gaze even further downwards toward Guillermo, trying to act normal.
"No, here is fine. I just wanted to let you know," Nandor trailed, continuing when Guillermo nodded. "At this particular juncture, we are no longer doing the fighting for justice. " Nandor noticed the almost instant relief from his former familiar.
"OH! Heh, that's it?", Guillermo chuckled.
"What?", Nandor was a bit perplexed.
Guillermo continued, "well, it's not like it wasn't fun but I kept having to remind you what the definition of justice actually WAS, I couldn't jump off buildings like you and that Cowboy Kid suit got uncomfortable and-"
"Okay-ah, I get it. It sucked, it-it was a dumb idea anyway", Nandor grumbled. The swarm was getting louder, like a crackling pyre in the back of his skull.
"No!"
Nandor's eyes widened, despite how much they burned.
"No, it wasn't dumb. Despite how dangerous and weird it was I, Guillermo paused to look in Nandor's eyes, I wouldn't trade the experience for anything." Guillermo smiled, nervous but warm.
That's all it took, that smile, his dearest partner consoling him on their foolish endeavor. That it wasn't for nothing, that it meant something to them. Even if just for the quality time spent together. Nandor was smitten, and definitely weak for Guillermo's smile. Admitting it wasn't easy, but at least it was just to himself.
Nandor leaned in some, in a nodding bow combo to show Guillermo that he agreed with him. It was hard to speak, but at he could nod and smirk.
Guillermo's smile grew, showing some teeth now, this felt like an actual nice moment between them. Sometimes it's difficult just to get a moment alone, even then, it's not guaranteed it will be a sweet interaction. Though, Guillermo had to admit to himself he did enjoy the bitching sometimes. Nandor huffed, and leaned to move past Guillermo. Guillermo didn't expect him to move but tried to get out of his way.
"Oh, Nandor, shit!"
Nandor fell forward. Damn, He didn't realize how weak he still felt. His head was buzzing. He braced for the impact of his floor, until, "got you! I got you."
Oh.
"Be careful, are you sure you're good?" Guillermo asked, breathing a little heavy. He had put his arm out just in time and caught the tall vampire in between his arm and his chest, leaning Nandor to the side of him as they lay on the floor. Guillermo could feel he was blushing, being so close to him like this, realizing he can't ignore that he's fallen back in love with Nandor. He bit his lip in frustration, why can't he just get over him?
He was taken out of his inner monologuing when Nandor groaned.
Nandor was scrunching his face and groaning, if he was human, his elbow that hit his coffin would be hurting a lot more. He craned his head up to meet Guillermo's empathetic gaze. If Nandor had to be honest with himself, he could sob into Guillermo's chest right then. During these "weeping episodes" as Nadja and Laszlo called them, he felt his weakest. Nandor struggled to keep eye contact. The bundle of noises rising, crackling and thumping behind his eyes. Nandor exhaled sharply, leaning forward and thumping his head onto Guillermo's collarbone.
"Oh, ahm. Okay ", Guillermo shifted a bit. He didn't know what to do, frankly. Nandor has never been this touchy willingly. Guillermo, not sure of what to do next, just looked up at the ceiling and held him.
For a minute, the longest of Guillermo's life, they just stayed like that. Guillermo couldn't figure out whether he was actually happy about this or concerned, though he'd be lying if he wasn't loving every second he got to have Nandor in his arms. He gingerly rubbed Nandor's shoulder with his thumb.
It felt right to do, like second nature. Shutting his eyelids, he hoped Nandor won't reject the touch.
Nandor was trying to resist the urge not to break down. Everything felt so loud, yet he knew there was no noise.No one was talking or moving, but his nerves felt like they were being burned.
He let some air from his nose, nudging his forehead back and forth. Guillermo hugged him tighter. The arm that caught Nandor wrapped around his shoulder and Guillermo's other arm now laying on Nandor's torso.
Nandor mumbled"What's wrong with me?"
Guillermo's eyes shot open,"huh? W-what's wrong with you?" He blinked, not really believing what he was hearing.
Nandor gripped Guillermo's shirt , still speaking into the others shoulder." Yes, I have said that already." He was gritting his fangs again, trying to save some dignity and not cry.
Guillermo's eyes glistened, his right hand moving up and cupping the distressed man's back,"sorry. I just wanted to understand what I just heard. Nandor-"
Nandor cut him off, raising his voice. "Are you not understanding yet? I am a lonely, sensitive vampire! Hardly worth my title, I am a disappointing shadow of the general I used to be!" He yelled into Guillermo's shirt still, he couldn't bare look up at him.
"Nandor."
Nandor softened, his tense shoulders lowering. His grip on Guillermo's collar also loosening up.
"How can you respect me when I act like this? You must be so ashamed of what I've become."
Nandor's voice was softer, and just got more so as he continued, like a whisper. He still couldn't look Guillermo's way, wanting to hide. The crackling fire behind his eyes died down. It felt cathartic to speak about it, even if he couldn't face it yet.
Guillermo sighed," okay. Nandor, look at me."
Nandor shook his head a bit, deciding to hide in the others chest. Guillermo noticed his shirt starting to feel damp. Guillermo inhaled, then swiftly changed his hand positions to grab the vampires face and turn it upwards. Nandor jerked and hissed in Guillermo's face. "Guillermo! The fuck, you fucking guy?" Guillermo looked right into Nandor's eyes, unperterbed by the tear streaks down the vampire's face.
"Shut up and listen, okay? All those things you think about yourself, are not true. Yes, you aren't who you used to be but the difference is you aren't fighting tooth and nail for your life anymore! You don't have to be a fearsome vampire that can kill hundreds all the time."
Guillermo's voice got more earnest, and almost desperate for Nandor to understand what he's getting at. "You can be open.You can be sensitive and it's not shameful! Plus, how could you be a shadow of your former self when I've seen you do incredible things, showing your power and going toe to toe with me in a fight and not holding back!" Nandor slightly interjected, murmuring something about how he did hold back a bit in their fight. Guillermo quickly brought the conversation back. "Eh, that's besides the point! The point is, I could never think less of you for how you feel. Are you a dick sometimes? Sure, but I'd rather you be open and honest with how you feel. That way I can help you instead of you sitting alone and suffering. You're not lesser if you cry. Not lesser than anyone here!, Guillermo's grip on nandor's face softened, you're probably just overstimulated most of the time anyway. I can-"
Guillermo got cut off by Nandor sitting up above him and retorting," wAaiit! Overstimulated? I'm not horny."
Guillermo squinted his eyes and cocked his head in bewildered confusion.
"If I was overstimulated Guillermo, I would be moaning and cumming and begging for more of your dick. Do I look like I am cumming Guillermo?"
Guillermo was too stunned to speak. He just pursed his lips together and shook his head no.
Nandor flipped his hair while looking away from the other in defiance. "Exactly! Idiot guy."
Nandor tumbled off Guillermo, landing next to him. Thigh to thigh. Guillermo just laid there processing why Nandor wouldn't understand what he meant. Nandor was sitting up next to him.
There was a beat of silence, then Nandor looked over his shoulder to Guillermo, fighting on whether or not to speak.
"Did you really mean all those things, Guillermo?" It sounded more sincere than he wanted but then he saw Guillermo smile.
"Yeah, every word."
Nandor smiled and nodded, looking away. His mind was quiet.