Chapter Text
Lucifer leaned forward with his elbows on the stone tabletop, red light streaming in through the ornate windows around him. Seven stone seats sat around a massive ring perched on the lip of a fiery crater, crags jutting out of the lava below. Each seat was marked with the sigil of its respective Sin. The largest seat was Satan’s of course, hulking hellbeast that he was. But the tallest seat of them all, elevated even above Satan’s… was Lucifer’s, perched atop a column of living rock. It was an ancient chamber, at odds with the phone he pressed against his head.
“Charlie honey, I hear what you’re saying, but this is going to be a lot worse than what we fought off. I don’t really know what we’re going to do, that’s what I’m going to be talking to the other King Sins about right now.” She kept talking, of course she was, never one to accept a bad situation. She still had utmost faith in her cause, even now…
He heard the unlatching of a door echoing in the distance.
“It’s time, I have to let you go, I’ll tell you what we decide later, and not a word to anyone else until I say so, okay? Okay, love you, bye.”
Lucifer stashed his phone away as the others began to arrive. He could see Mammon lift his hand to shield his eyes and stare up at him, checking that he was even actually here. It had been years since he’d called court like this, and he knew people were already talking. From this distance he allowed a moment to collect himself…
“Hey Lucy!” Beelzebub’s voice echoed up to him. He glanced down at her. “Long time no see!”
He gave her a smirk she couldn’t even see, a nod. Leviathan, Asmodeus, Belphegor… and finally, in a column of flame, Satan appeared standing before his seat, towering over all the rest. Again, except for Lucifer.
The fallen angel stood now, adjusting his suit. “It’s, ah, it’s been a long time, guys.”
Silence greeted him.
“Been a while since we formally got together, to talk about things. But, ah…” He rubbed the back of his neck, deciding to break the news with an awkward smile, “...this is probably going to be the last time we do this?”
Even from this distance he could see the sins react. Satan’s eyes narrowed and he leaned forward.
“I don’t really know how to sugar coat this. Armageddon is in about two months.”
Beelzebub and Asmodeus and Mammon and Leviathan all jumped to their feet: “We didn’t even get to know—” “—going to happen to all the hellborn—” “—TELL US about this huge fucking—” “—outrageous, to just drop this on—”
Satan’s wings beat dramatically, silencing the rest. He stayed sitting but his burning yellow eyes narrowed as he focused on Lucifer. “When did you find this out?”
“Just today. I told you all this was an emergency.” He glared back, before looking around again. “The prophecies of St. John are already unfolding. In a few days Heaven will open the fifth seal, the righteous will be summoned to their side, and we will be granted rule over the living world.”
Oh at that… the energy changed. The fury dissipated, replaced with a dawning excitement. Even Satan, for once, seemed at a loss to attack him. Mammon broke the silence. “Soooooo… when you say we get to rule the living world, you don’t mean just, we get to tempt them more? You meeeean…”
“That’s what we’re going to decide here, how we use our seven weeks. There’s one and only one objective for us to focus on: preparing for battle against Heaven. Surviving the battle against Heaven, and preventing the part of the prophecy where we’re all killed.”
Lucifer stretched his hand out. The open space between them was filled with images illustrating his words:
“In the recent skirmish, we saw firsthand that the forces of Heaven can be harmed with blessed angelic weapons. If we could prepare and train every sinner and every hellborn to use these, then we would have a chance.”
“If,” Asmodeus interjected.
“...That is the problem we’re facing. From what I understand, Carmilla Carmine only has a limited amount. And any hellborn or sinner without angelic weapons might as well be cannon fodder. This isn’t going to be like a regular extermination either. Every angel in Heaven, and all the humans they’ve gathered over the years, will be coming at us. So we need a more solid plan.”
Lucifer paused. Nobody answered.
“Ideas? Anyone?”
Mammon raised his hand. Lucifer gestured to him. “Can we go back to the part where you said we’re gonna rule Earth?”
He shut his eyes, clutching his scepter with both hands, forcing a smile over his mouth. “We’ll talk about that once we start getting some solid ideas for a strategy to not die.”
“Don’t speak to us with that tone…”
But it wasn’t Mammon…
Satan kept sitting, clutching the stone armrests as he leaned forward. “You abdicate your throne for years, neglect your duties as King of Hell, and then come back and reassert yourself? And you expect us to bend the knee just because you say so?”
Yes, actually. That’s the retort that Lucifer desperately wanted to spit back at him. But, he knew that would only cause more problems. Dammit he was never good at this royal politics thing. “It’s not that simple. There was… I had things to deal with, okay? I was very busy, and my attention was taken away. It’s not like Hell burned down or anything in the meantime though! If there was a real problem I would have come back to deal with it! Like I am right now!”
“Yes… now you’re back,” the draconic lord tilted his head. Steam curled from his nostrils, and claws clicked upon the rock. “And at such a convenient time too. Your daughter provokes Heaven, you finally stand up to the exterminations, and in retaliation they announce the end of times. How very, very convenient for a man intent on using a crisis to assert himself.”
“...First of all,” Lucifer stepped up onto his stone table, giving himself just a few more feet of height against Satan, “don’t you dare bring my daughter into this. Second, it’s actually rather inconvenient for this to be happening right now. It’s going to be very ‘inconvenient’ for all of us…” He lifted a hand again, and the images floating in the air turned graphic, “to be pierced through the chest, or chained for eternity in a lake of fire. This is the issue we have to focus on right now, our survival. We can’t be arguing about the semantics of where I’ve been and—”
Satan’s fists slammed down, and he stood suddenly. His wings spread wide. “That’s not even what ‘semantics’ means! DON’T!” He jabbed his finger at Lucifer before he could reply back; his hand shredded the visuals. “You dare condescend to me? I have ruled Hell before you even knew this place existed. I am focused on the issue of our survival, and how likely we are to achieve it by following you!”
At that Lucifer’s wings flared and he leapt into the air! He could see his shadow against the light streaming through the window. His tail and horns materialized again and fire curled from his mouth, “ You don’t talk to ME that way! I am trying to help you and you can’t see past your own ego long enough to realize that?!”
The dragon snarled, one side of his snout flaring… but then, there was a gleam in his eyes. He straightened up. He smiled. “You’re right, your Majesty. I apologize. Please ‘enlighten’ us then, O Lightbringer. Before I interrupted,” Satan lifted his hands to either side, looking at the other sins present, “you were telling us your plan?”
…That’s right. Lucifer looked down at the others. Bee and Ozzie were a little more neutral, with expressions like kids watching a sibling get scolded by a parent. Mammon and Leviathan were leaning forward more intently, drinking in this glorious drama. Belphegor… was asleep already. He exhaled, smoke rushing past his teeth. “...That’s why I called us all here. To figure that out,” Lucifer repeated.
That only made Satan chuckle. “No, you called us here to figure out a plan, for you to then take the credit for. So that everyone will cheer and adore and praise your ego. Isn’t that right?”
Lucifer curled his fists again, and he had half a mind to just blast the dragon right here and now with all of his celestial power. But it wouldn’t be that simple, not with a King Sin and especially not with Satan. And the last thing Hell needed was a civil war to distract them. So he had to tolerate the words being thrown at him…
“You’re a ruthless attention seeker. It got you thrown out of Heaven, and it led to you being an absent monarch here in Hell as you pursued only your interests. Meanwhile I have stewarded the Seven Rings, I know exactly what we are capable of. And I know how we can find a solution.”
At that Lucifer broke out of his fuming rage, at least a bit.
“The Ars Goetia scour the furthest stars and the most arcane secrets of Creation for ways to further the cause of sin. Their noble minds will surely be able to build a weapon that can destroy Heaven’s armies. And in the meantime, we will plunder the living world for its resources and technology.”
“Plunder…” Lucifer had a feeling it would lead to this, but to hear Satan actually suggest it…
“We will have seven weeks without the interference of Heaven. It is only logical that we take the mortal realm for ourselves. It’s what the prophecy entitles us to. Unless…” Satan took a step closer, “...you have a soft spot for the humans?”
He pictured them, the mortals… mad emperors burning down their own capitals, horse riders looting cities, great artists and thinkers martyred across history.
“Well?”
Lucifer snorted. He suddenly flew right up to Satan’s face, looked him in the eye. “I don’t care what you do with them. I already said I only care about the survival of Hell.”
“A welcome change in priority…” The dragon sneered. Then he stepped back, lifted his own hand. An image of a city conjured up now. “But we won’t only take their resources. There’ve been rumblings among the lower races of Hell, discontent. It will be good for them to, how do you say… let off steam.”
The little humans between the buildings were suddenly beset by monstrous forces in red. Lucifer could hear them screaming. He looked away. Bee and Ozzie, again a pair, watched with mouths hanging open slightly. Mammon and Leviathan meanwhile had a dark glint in their eyes. He could already tell that they were on board with this. “So, we’re going to approach it more literally then. Sinners and hellborn walking the Earth.”
“HA!”
The sheer power of Satan’s voice made even Lucifer recoil. The dragon lurched forward, eyes ablaze.
“I knew you still had a soft spot for those mortals! Even now at the end of the world you’d have those damned souls lording over our creations! They had their time on Earth! Your humans, your sinners and their overlords, will stay in the Pride Ring through our invasion!”
Okay. This was crossing a line. “You do not give me orders! You do NOT give me demands! And I do not give a SINGLE! FLYING! FUCK about the humans! I have had it with your disrespect! I shouldn’t have EVER tolerated you trying to usurp me!”
“I usurp YOU!?”
“Okay!” There was a zip in the air, and suddenly Lucifer found Beelzebub between him and Satan. “Okay, listen, there’s… let’s just calm down, okay? Satan, baby,” she gave him a playful look, “let me talk to Lucy here a minute.”
He narrowed his eyes… but the dragon relented, with a hint of smirk on his face. Lucifer watched him sit back down, before focusing on Beelzebub. “Bee, I appreciate you wanting to keep the peace, but I have to very nicely ask you to let me go so I can kill him!”
“Lucy, listen to me, okay?” He just looked away. “Are you listening?” He had to pause, before finally nodding. “I know he can be an asshole sometimes, he can get heated. But… he does kinda have a point.”
“About the plan? Yeah I guess, it’s the best we have right now.”
“Well that, yes. But he’s also right about the hellborn.”
Lucifer stared at her in shock. “I didn’t think you had a grudge against the humans?”
“No, it’s not that. And it’s also not the whole ‘social control’ thing, the guy’s… been really weird this past century. It’s just…” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Look, let’s be real here. We’re probably not going to survive Armageddon.”
“We can! We just need to focus and get our shit together and we can come up with a plan!”
“Okay, I do like the attitude, very inspiring. But my point is, there’s at least a chance we don’t win, right? And if that happens… I want my hellhounds to have had at least a little time on the surface, having a bit of fun before it all goes away. A little bit of time where… you know… they don’t feel like they’re bottom of the barrel?”
That last bit, he could feel the pointed words. A caste system had plagued Hell almost since the moment it was born — not the least because Satan deliberately built his own race of creatures to be servants. But Bee actually cared about the creatures she’d made, and they’d gotten it the worst. He knew that.
“Do this for me. For Ozzie, look at him.” Lucifer did so; Asmodeus was looking up at them, but clearly not paying attention, drumming his fingers on the stone, in deep thought. “I know he’s worried about his incubi and succubi. Please.”
Lucifer hesitated. Then he turned, looking at everyone.
Satan cut in again, his voice calmer but still just as imperious, “As I said, it would be prudent for us to give the hellborn an outlet for their growing dissatisfaction. Keeps ‘em docile. The plan does not work if they continue to be at the mercy of sinners and overlords.”
There were nods down below. Fuck, they were really going to force his hand. “Fine! Let’s vote on it. All who support restraining the sinners to the Pride Ring during the invasion?”
Satan, Mammon, and Leviathan all lifted their hands. Bee did as well. Ozzie snapped out of his worries, and he was a little more bashful about it, but his hand also went up. The only other holdout was Belphegor… still snoozing.
Mammon elbowed her. “Hey! We’re voting on something?”
“Eh, huh?” She woke up, blearily rubbing her eyes and raising her hand. “Aye, I’m voting for it! What are we voting on?”
“Unanimous then,” Satan smirked. “Unless his majesty would care to go against all the other sins?”
Lucifer sighed. Here he thought they’d be able to come together again, for once. Come up with a coherent plan, for once. Rally together, for once. But as usual, egos almost as big as his own had to come in… “I literally don’t care what you do on the fucking planet. Just…” He shrugged. “Do you even need me here then? I’ll just fly around and blast things in Armageddon, I’ll just do whatever you tell me I need to do, since all my ideas are so terrible.”
He turned away… but felt Bee take his elbow. “Hey?”
“What?”
Her eyes were warm. “It’s good to see you again. I missed you.”
For a few more seconds he met her gaze. Then his eyes fell to the grip on his arm. Lucifer pulled himself free and glid back to his seat.
“Awwwww, come on Lucy!” Mammon called from down below. “Don’t be so sore! It’ll be great fun! Gonna start planning a new mansion and everything! It’ll be GREAT!”
Yeah… Lucifer mused bitterly to himself, settling back at his seat, as the conversation continued without him. Yeah, it’ll be just as great as everything else they’ve fucking accomplished so far here…