Chapter Text
It had started out good. It was late at night, and they’d retired to their bedroom, but even if they were in the bed, they had not gone to sleep. Coats and shoes were beside the bed and on the chair, but they hadn’t removed any other clothes. The kisses started out soft, but soon enough Lucifer could feel the hint of teeth. That was par for the course when dating a cannibal.
Lucifer’s hand travelled down Alastor’s back, finding the soft tail, and running his fingers through the fur. He was rewarded with a staticky squeak, but Alastor didn’t pull the hand away, so at the moment, this was alright. The Radio Demon’s lips parted from Lucifer’s own, trailing kisses on his cheek and down his neck. The sharp teeth grazed the skin, but didn’t pierce it.
“You can bite a little bit, if you want to.” Lucifer whispered.
He had barely finished talking before Alastor bit down. It didn’t hurt much. Compared to all the things that had hurt him and still did hurt down here in hell, his partner sinking his sharp teeth into his shoulder and licking up blood was nothing; it could even feel quite nice. Lucifer pulled Alastor even closer, burying his fingers in the red hair, scratching at the soft ears.
Then Alastor abruptly pulled away and sat up.
“Excuse me for a moment,” he muttered, moving to get out of the bed.
Lucifer got up, putting a hand on Alastor’s shoulder, holding him back. “Is something wrong?”
“No, no, I just need to take care of something.”
Lucifer frowned. By now, he was somewhat used to Alastor’s tendency to suddenly disappear at odd moments, but this was the first time he’d decided to do so while they were ... in the middle of something. He looked the Radio Demon up and down, and his gaze settled on Alastor’s crotch. In the tight pants, it was easy to see what was happening.
“Oh. You got excited, didn’t you?” Lucifer smiled. “Do you need help?”
Alastor rolled his eyes. “I don’t need help, Lucifer.”
“Maybe not, but do you want help?”
Alastor shrugged. “I think I know my own body better than you do, darling. So, it’s better that I do it myself.”
Technically, that was true; everyone knew their own body best. But in Lucifer’s opinion, it wasn’t always a question of who did what best. He hadn’t complained, at least not much, on the occasions that Alastor was giving him a helping hand. Lucifer could have done it better himself, but it was the idea that someone else touched him, the feeling of being close that a solo show couldn’t really compare too, no matter how well he knew how and what to do.
“Well, maybe I can do things you can’t.”
Alastor snorted. “I highly doubt that.”
“Oh?” Lucifer flicked his tongue out. “Are you sure?”
Alastor stared at him. It seemed to take a moment before he understood the implication, but when he did, he blushed. “You- you want to-” His eyes followed the forked tongue as Lucifer licked his lips.
Lucifer smiled. “So, do you want me to help you out?”
Alastor’s face got even redder. “No. Absolutely not.” Then he melted into shadows and was gone.
Suddenly, Lucifer was alone in the bed. Alone in the bedroom, even; when he got up and opened the bathroom door, there was no one there. He had a feeling he had fucked up. He wasn’t sure how, but when Alastor did not return to the bedroom that night, he felt more and more certain that he had. Of course, Alastor had his own bedroom beside the Radio Studio. He did occasionally sleep there, when he wanted some time alone. But when he did, he didn’t just disappear in the middle of a conversation. Lucifer briefly wondered if he should head over to the other side of the hotel and knock on Alastor’s door, but decided against it. If Alastor was angry, it was best to let him cool down.
Lucifer did not sleep much that night; worries always grew in the dark, and one concern led to another, from this new issue to old regrets, down old well-trodden paths. When morning came, he headed down for breakfast, hoping that some coffee would replenish the energy the sleepless night had stolen.
Alastor was in the kitchen, making breakfast with Charlie. They both turned to greet him with “Good morning, dad!” and “Hello, darling.” Alastor seemed completely normal, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened last night. Lucifer said his good mornings, poured a cup of coffee and began helping Niffty set the table.
Breakfast was ... normal. Alastor and Vaggie bickered. Niffty got distracted half-way through when she spotted a spider, and thankfully didn’t come back to the table to show off her kill, as she sometimes did. Husk came into the kitchen, got a cup of coffee, poured what seemed to be whiskey into it, and then left again. Angel Dust didn’t even show up. Normal.
The rest of the day was normal too. Charlie held a therapy-session for new hotel guests, a Vox Tek-drone crashed into a window and Alastor made a new radio commercial for the hotel that was mostly backhanded compliments. People were in and out of the hotel, doing their jobs, working on redemption and occasionally fighting off intruders. Lucifer found himself watching Alastor whenever they crossed paths during the day. But any chance to bring up what happened the night before was thwarted by the very presence of other people; the thought of discussing their private, intimate matters where others could hear, where Charlie could hear? No. That would not happen.
But when night came, this normalcy continued, because Alastor showed up at their bedroom and began to get ready for bed, as he had done so many nights before. Lucifer just stood there staring at him while Alastor removed his coat, untied his bowtie, and began to take his shoes off. Then the demon stopped and looked at him.
Alastor cocked his head. “Darling, is something wrong?”
As if Lucifer was the one behaving strangely. He could just go along with the normalcy, but then it would gnaw on him. He might as well jump into it. “You left last night.”
“Hm?” Alastor sounded almost curious, as if wondering why this would be an issue. “I just needed some privacy.”
“Is ... is there a problem?”
Alastor just smiled. “I solved that problem just fine on my own.”
Lucifer wouldn’t really have called that a problem, but alright. That was not the issue, though. “No, no, it’s just. When I suggested I could- you know, you just disappeared on me.”
“Oh, I just needed some time alone. Everything’s fine.” That was a lie; he wouldn’t have done it the way he did if that was all it was. Fine, if Alastor was going to behave like that, Lucifer would just have to find other ways to get to the truth. He did not pry anymore while they undressed and got ready for bed. They both crawled under the covers and tried to settle in. Usually, Lucifer could just snap his fingers and turn off the light, but instead he turned towards Alastor.
“So, now that we’re here, remember that little agreement we have, about not lying to each other when we’re in bed together?”
Alastor stared at him. One ear twitched slightly.
“Tell me what happened last night, dearest.”
Alastor did not answer. Instead, he moved to get out of the bed, but Lucifer was faster; he grabbed the demon and held him tight. For a brief moment, he could feel Alastor trying to melt into shadows like he had the night before, but Lucifer just held on; if Alastor wanted to escape, he would follow him.
“Th-this is cheating!” Alastor snarled, trying to get away.
“No, no, this is me trying to get an actual answer from you.” By now, they had ended up in what could be called involuntarily spooning. “So, what is going on, why did you leave, what happened?”
“I- that – damn it, Lucifer!”
“I just want you to be honest with me. If something’s wrong, I want to know.”
Alastor stopped trying to escape. For a while, staticky music started up and stopped until the sound faded away.
“Alastor?”
“I- I just-” Alastor took a deep breath, and began trying to turn around in Lucifer’s embrace. Lucifer let go of him, and let him turn so they were face to face. Alastor opened his mouth and closed it again, then, he apparently decided to just get it over with, and the words rushed out: “I do not want to. I really do not want to. Hands are fine. A bit messy, but, fine. But I do not want to put my mouth on your dick, that’s – just no.”
“Oh.” Lucifer said. “But why did you just leave, you ... did- did you panic or something?”
Alastor didn’t answer, but the ears flattened against his head; he didn’t want to lie, but he didn’t want to admit such a thing either. He’d always had problems admitting when there was something he couldn’t do; ‘inexperience’ was far too close to ‘weakness’ in his dictionary.
“Alright. Alright, that’s fine. Thanks for being honest about it,” Lucifer said. Alastor rolled his eyes, but when he didn’t say anything to this either, Lucifer continued: “But we weren’t even talking about that last night, I was offering to suck you off.”
“Yes, but then I’d owe you.”
Lucifer blinked. “... what?”
“If you do that for me, I would have to do the same for you, and I do not want to do that.”
“What the – where did you get that idea from?”
Alastor looked at Lucifer like he was some sort of idiot. “How do you not- that’s how this works, what do-” He gestured to the room at large, seemingly trying to figure out how to explain something that should somehow be obvious. “Nothing is free down here, that’s-”
“That’s an awfully cynical way to think about our relationship.” Lucifer sighed. This was not the first time they’d run into this issue. He had hoped they were past this, but some lessons took time to unlearn. “Alastor, we’ve talked about this before-”
“Yes, but-”
“You won’t owe me-”
“Charlie’s books say relationships should be balanced, give and take, so-”
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean-” Lucifer stopped when his brain caught up with what he was hearing. “Wait, wait, wait- you’ve been reading the self-help books?”
Alastor froze like a deer in headlights; clearly, he had said more than he intended to. Lucifer tried to fight back the smile growing on his own face. He failed.
Alastor sat up. “I think I’ll sleep in my own room tonight.”
Once again, he tried to escape, and once again, Lucifer grabbed hold of him, wrestling him back down onto the bed. “Oh, no you don’t! You’ve been reading books? For advice? That’s so cute-”
“That is a lie; I am not cute!” Alastor yelled. “You are lying while we’re in the bed, you are breaking the rule!”
“Sorry, sorry!” Lucifer laughed. “Tell me, why are you reading the self-help-books?”
Alastor wriggled a little, but seemed to realise he wasn’t getting away from this. He could, if he really wanted to. Lucifer would struggle a whole lot more to keep him in the bed if the Radio Demon decided to grow into the larger, more twisted form he occasionally used. But apparently this discussion wasn’t worth escalating into a battle. “Charlie put them in the library; anyone can read them.”
“Yes, and you scoffed at that, you said that bookshelf was a ridiculous addition to the collection.” Alastor had said the same about several of the books they’d added to the library; mostly the ones written after the 1930s. “Sooo, what made you change your mind?” Lucifer teased.
Alastor didn’t answer. This time, the silence lasted so long Lucifer could feel the playfulness slowly seep out of the room. When Lucifer let go of him, Alastor did not try to run away, but he didn’t turn around to face him again either.
“Hey, Alastor?”
“...”
“I- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh.”
Alastor sighed. “I know am not ...” He shook his head. “I don’t have much experience with ... with being ... together. So, I just wanted to – understand things. Better.” He turned to face Lucifer again. The ears were still flat against his head; he looked annoyed and embarrassed. “There. Are you satisfied with the answers now?”
“I just- I guess. You can talk about things you’re curious about, you know.”
Alastor shrugged. “I do talk to Rosie. But seeing how she ended up eating her last five husbands, I do not entirely trust her expertise on matters of the heart.”
“Understandable.” Lucifer felt a brief flash of worry; the leader of the Cannibals had never said it out loud, but she had implied on at least one occasion that if Lucifer hurt her dearest friend, Rosie already had some recipes in mind for him. The lady was far too clever to come with outright threats against the king, and Lucifer could take her down if it came to that ... but still, it had been unsettling. “You know, you can talk to me too, Alastor.”
Alastor rolled his eyes. “Oh yes. Rub it in, you have thousands of years more experience at this than me.”
Technically, that was true, but it had only ever been one person for Lucifer all those years, and that relationship ended up falling apart. It wasn’t much to boast about.
“Dearest, I want this – us, to work.” Lucifer reached up to stroke the soft ears; Alastor did not move away from the touch. “And if you’re sneaking around getting advice from books and a serial black widow, I think you at least somewhat want that too?”
“... yes.” Alastor admitted.
“Will you stay tonight?”
“As long as there’s no more discussion of anything ... below the belt.”
“Alright.” Lucifer smiled. “Is kissing still on the table?”
For a moment, Alastor seemed to be seriously considering if it was or not. Then he lounged forward, pulling Lucifer into a kiss so deep it was as if his life depended on it. Then, just as sudden, he broke the kiss, turned over and pulled the covers around himself. “Good night.”
Lucifer sat there, blinking.
“Shall we turn the lights off, darling?” He could hear Alastor’s grin, even if he didn’t see it.
Lucifer couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh, you are infuriating.” He snapped his fingers, turning off the lights. “Good night, then.”