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You looked at the bottle of shitty piss-flavored beer in your hand and wondered, for a minute, “ am I really that drunk?”
Why were you asking that? Well, because right there in the middle of the dance floor was Deadpool. Full suit and all. Having the time of his life.
He was a great dancer, you couldn't deny that, graceful and suave. But uh…
What was he doing here?? In some random town in the middle of nowhere??
No idea.
Nonetheless, you stared at him. Though, unlike the people around you, it was less in confusion or disgust, but more so in awe.
Let's be real. You really admired him.
To most, he was an unwanted presence. Like some annoying bug that got stuck in your car and couldn't figure out where the very obvious open window was.
He was loud, took a lot of space and generally speaking did not follow basic societal rules.
To most, he was rude, unpleasant, and immature.
But you knew that body language all too well. It wasn't just some annoying prick acting out like some dumb spoiled brat.
It was starvation, plain and simple. Begging for attention, for any kind of gazes to turn to him, to see him, even for just a second, trying to fill some kind of void in that existence of his.
And boy. If you couldn't relate to that.
He was getting exactly what he wanted right now, as a matter of fact. So why not indulge him a bit.
He seemed to notice you were staring because his eyes stayed on you for a bit, and then he posed, like a model on a runway, which made you giggle a bit, and then… started mimicking pulling a rope towards you.
Oh FUCK-
You blushed, honestly not having expected him to actually want you to come close, but obviously you did as he wanted because it was so adorable, you just couldn't help it, and, shyly, pretended to be pulled towards him, until he managed to get a hold of your hand and actually pulled you in.
“Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes?” he cooed, and your face just got more red. “Now what's a cute little thing like you doing in a place like this? Shouldn't you be busy filming a porno or something, stupidly pretty as you are with those big ol’ eyes? Oh my god, and that mouth, hoo boy.”
“U-uh- well…” you stuttered, bit too distracted by the proximity of him, the warmth of his voice and the heat of his body. And the praises.
“Awww, look at you! Getting all flustered! I'm not scaring you, am I? I'll back off if I am, I am a man of consent after all.”
You shook your head. “N-no, it's fine, I just uhm…” you looked at his hand, so gently wrapped around your wrist, and swallowed. “You're… you, uhm… you dance really well.”
He immediately perked up and giggled. “Why, thank you!! Been practicing my moves, y'know in case I find a nice cute doll like you to impress. It's working very well so far so I'd say, good job, me!” You looked away, face hot and mouth curling up at the praise despite yourself, and he laughed. “My god you are so adorable, what's your name?”
You told him your name, and he nodded. “Cute. You know who I am? I know I'm kinda famous and a big deal right now but I don't wanna assume, not everyone is up to date with pop culture.”
“You're Deadpool, I know.” You smiled.
“Yeah!! That's me!! Wade Winston Wilson, the one and only, Regenerating Degenerate, or, if you prefer, Merc with a Mouth!!” He shuffled and you giggled, leaning against his chest instinctively.
“You up for dancing a bit?” His head tilted up as he listened to “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” blasting in the speakers, and then he chuckled, gently taking your hands to sway with the beat. “Oh yeah, that's my jam!!”
“I do want to have fun, it's true.” You giggled, and he let out a soft squeal, leaning towards you as he kept on dancing. “That's right!! I know it's cliche and so middle-aged white girl of me, but I love that song. So catchy, y'know? God, Cyndi Lauper knew how to make a bop. Miss that shit.”
You could only smile and laugh as you listened to him ramble. He was adorable.
“Here's another cliche. You come here often? I'm sorry, I just had to ask that sweetie pie. It's my duty as a man, or whatever the fuck.”
“Not really. Just… sometimes. When I'm bored and lonely, I suppose.”
“Oh my god, same!! Except that's all the time so basically I come here very often. Well- actually, no. This place is new. Got kicked out of the last place I went to for “public disturbance”, so this is my backup. Or- well actually, the last place was already a backup. This is a backup-backup.”
You giggled. Your cheeks were hurting from how much you were smiling.
“I hope you don't get kicked out of here. This is fun.”
He cooed and seemed to melt a bit with the compliment.
“I wanna buy you a drink or something, babycakes, like holy fuck no one has ever willingly come up to me before and- well, unless they wanted to beat the shit out of me. Or thought I was some kind of leather kink guy and wanted to do like- ugh god I'm not gonna subject you to this shit you're too cute to hear about this.”
You couldn't help but laugh “I've been on the internet long enough, I can guess. Did they want you to piss in their mouths?” he gasped “Shit on their face?” You kept on going as his reaction just got more and more theatrical “Choke them till they pass out? Slice their nuts? Step on them with heels?”
Deadpool whimpered, looking shocked “That's- yeah. Wow. That's exactly what it was, yeah, what the fuck baby doll, I'm actually sad you know about this.” He whined and whispered “ Your poor, poor little innocence, she will be missed.” He then shuddered. “Gross. I'm a freak but even I don't go that far.” Then he winked, and booped your nose. “Well, maybe I'd do it if you asked, sugarpie.”
You snorted. “Yeah, no thanks, I'm not that freaky either.”
He leaned in, and the air seemed to get warmer immediately as he hummed. You suddenly became a lot more aware of the hand on your back, warm and heavy, pulling you close to him.
“Well. How freaky are you, then, babydoll?”
You felt yourself grow red and flustered again, but in the face of a challenge (and opportunity), you weren't as scared as before, and smiled.
“Could show you, if you really wanna find out.” you whispered, and okay fuck your heart was beating so fast and you felt light headed and you might be close to fainting but WHO CARES!!!
Deadpool squealed, looking extremely pleased with himself, and…
Well, next thing you knew, you were pinning him to the wall of his apartment, and licking his mask while he held you up by your ass.
“Thank fuck for scene transitions, makes sex so much easier.” He groaned, and it made you giggle.
It was strange, kissing someone through fabric. It tasted like sweat, blood, and… taco filling? But it was a rather satisfying sensation, all the same. The feeling of the fabric pulling as his mouth opened up and you pushed your tongue through the hollow part, feeling it warm up and dampen with his breath, and then feeling a bulge where his tongue pushed back, against yours, the fabric pliable enough for the tongue to move just a bit into your mouth, warm and slimy.
“Fuck, sweetheart-” he whined as you slid your mouth down to suck at the fabric on his neck, your own hands wandering further down to caress his stomach, his waist, his hips…
“I'd love to kiss you properly but…” you whispered, and then gently cupped the bulge in his pants. “Something about doing it that way… makes it more fun, don't you think? Makes you really want it.” Your hand squeezed the bulge and Deadpool whimpered and bucked his hips forward. “Fu-fuck yeah, I want it.” He groaned. “So fucking badly.”
“It's just never enough. You want more. More touching, groping, right against your skin, without any barriers…” your mouth slid to his ear and you gently sucked against it.
“I do, I dooo!!”
“But you want it to last, don't you? If I touch you directly, right now…”
“Yeah, you're right, bad idea, I'll jizz like- immediately. Not gonna be fun for you.” Deadpool huffed out, and you giggled, rolling your wrist as you massaged the bulge through the fabric, feeling it moisten slowly as you went on.
“God, fucking hell, I am so fucking wet right now- I'll need a change of pants when we're done.” Deadpool laughed breathily, his head moving to lean against your shoulder, and you hummed happily, mouth going back to where his was, sucking on the fabric and wetting it with saliva, before you started to crouch, and he let out soft happy sounds, excited to see what you were going to do.
The scent of sweat and musk was stronger there, but somehow it didn't even smell bad, just heavenly. It made your mouth water and you couldn't help yourself, swallowing hard as your hands gently stroked his thighs and you felt him squirm impatiently under your touch.
You shoved your open mouth on the bulge and sucked it softly, and, of course, Deadpool's hips rolled. You didn't even try to stop his movements, just placed your hands on each side of the wall behind him to steady yourself and just sucked and licked harder.
“God, god, come on!!” He whimpered, grabbing a hold of your head to push you against him. “Not enough, I just- fuck, I want- please -” you gnawed at the erection, now so erect it was tenting up the fabric and pre-cum was permeating through it almost like there was nothing.
“If you cum, I'm not stopping.” You growled. You wanted him to cum, you weren't one for waiting it out too long, but you also wanted to try more things with him.
“Fuck yeah, I b- I- healing factor baby. I got a- a high refractory- mmhnnngghhh-”
“Good.” You huffed, and without sparing a single second, undid the buckle of his belt and pulled his pants down. Fuck yeah.
His dick was huge. You probably wouldn't be able to put the whole thing in your mouth, let's be honest, but you would at least try.
Well… you didn't have to do much. As soon as your lips wrapped around the tip, he moaned loudly, and came, hot and slimy in your mouth, pouring down your throat, and you groaned, keeping it in and not swallowing yet. Bitter. Salty. And once he was done, you pulled yourself up and grabbed the bottom of his mask gently.
“Oh, fuck, I know where this is going-” he panted as his lips and nose were uncovered, and he obediently opened up his mouth for you to spit the cum inside while you kissed him, finally feeling his tongue on yours, making him swallow every single drop, and keeping on kissing till he was done cleaning up your mouth with needy licks.
“Good boy.” You cooed, and it made him whimper and go a bit limp against the wall. “Fucking hell , that was hot!” he hissed.
Already you could feel his erection growing again, and okay yeah he really wasn't lying about it being fast.
Your hands wandered to his butt, and you gave them a good squeeze, happy to hear him squeal in return.
“Ever got your ass fingered? Eaten?”
“Tried pegging once. Not a natural bottom though so, if you wanna try that shit, please be gentle.”
You licked at his lips and smiled softly. “Baby boy. I'll be so gentle for you. You only deserve the best care in the world, you know that?”
“Fuck, ba by -”
He whined, clinging to you, and it made you chuckle.
“Hmm? You like being called those things?” you hummed as you guided him to turn around and pressed your hands to his ass, pulling his pants to his thighs.
“So fucking much. You have no idea- oh!!” He let out a squeak as you gently pulled his cheeks apart and checked out what was there. Tight. Very much so. It'd definitely need some relaxing . “Lube?” you asked, massaging the meat of his ass and thighs as best as you could in the meantime.
“Always.” He grabbed a small pink bottle from his pockets and gave it to you. Oohh, watermelon scented. Yum.
You let it pour on your fingers and generously lattered the hole with the liquid, giggling a bit as you felt it pucker up under your touch, and then quickly licked it. He squealed with surprise, but once your lubed up hand found his dick again and stroked it along with the licks, he relaxed, and you smiled.
“Such a good boy. Feels better like this, right?”
“Uh-huhnn- guh, fuck, that feels- mmhhh… we-weird, but-” his cheek squished against the wall while his ass rolled up against your face and you only held him tighter. “I- I can see why people like it- oh!!” You slipped your tongue in, and then sucked as it slid back out. “Oh sweet jesus!!”
“How's that?”
“Now why didn't Vanessa just start with tha- ah!!” your free thumb found itself gently pressing against his perineum, and Deadpool couldn't help but thrust forward instinctively. Your own hand thrusted deep on his cock, following the rhythm of his body, and soon enough, he was cumming.
You laughed tenderly, voice muffled by his ass, milking out the cum with sharp thrusts of your hands, reveling in the beautiful moans he was huffing out.
And as he was done, you just pulled yourself up, and turned him around to kiss him again. He clung to you tightly, gloved hands sinking into the skin of your back through the shirt you still had on, head down to accomodate for your head, almost bent in half with how close he was trying to be to you, moaning into your mouth with a cracked voice.
“Ba-babygirl…” he whimpered when you pulled back to breathe. “Fucking hell, I'm going to die for real if you keep this up.”
You pressed your lips to the side of his mouth gently, feeling tingly all over from the praise, the raspy sound of his breathing, heavy with lust, and licked the tumors that your mouth was touching. “I still haven't cummed, you know?” You whispered against his skin and he groaned, face lowering to hide itself in the crook of your neck. “I wanna fuck you so badly, sweetpea. Please-” he whined softly.
“I love it when you beg. You're so cute, baby boy.” You kept on whispering, happy to feel his erection rutting against your leg in need. “Think you can fuck me against this wall?” You murmured in his ear, and immediately he turned the two of you around so you'd be against the wall, his hands on your hips, dick rubbing against your stomach. His thumbs slid under the hem of your pants and pulled it down, underwear sticky with how progressively horny you'd been getting through the night.
“God, you think it's gonna fit? You're so small…” he moaned, head down, tip of his dick slowly rubbing over your vulva, and you just wrapped your arms around his shoulders, looked down as well and giggled, excitement bubbling in your chest. “You'll find a way. You're so good at that, aren't you?” You cooed, and he moaned.
“ Fucking- fuck- alright, alright.” he hissed, and in one swift move, he turned you around to get a better access, grabbed your ass, and, slowly, pushed himself in. You groaned, feeling yourself stretch to accomodate his girth, and pressed your face against the wall, which smelled a bit like him as he'd been glued to it just a moment ago. He moaned loudly when he entered you, low and deep as he pressed his chest to your back, mouth against your nape, breath hot on your skin.
“Fuck, that's good-” you whimpered, and as his hold on you got tighter and he started to thrust in faster, rougher, you… kinda just stopped talking, too busy focusing on the sensation to form any coherent thoughts.
Deadpool, however, obviously, could still talk, and god you wouldn't have it any other way.
Voice so close to your ear, he whined and whimpered and moaned like the sweet little puppy he was.
“I'm doing good, yeah? Fuck yeah, fuck you feel so good I- holy shit- am I a good boy? You like it that way? God you smell so fucking good and you feel so- ugh like I'm fucking a goddamn- mmnnhhhggg!!”
You just nodded along, eyes closing, drooling against the wall, against his fingers that eventually found themselves in your mouth, sucking on the leather, dirty and soiled with god knows what but who fucking cared right now??
“Tell me I'm a good boy. Please. I'm good. I'm doing so good, aren't I?”
“Uh-huh-”
“I'll be good for you. I'll do anything for you. I promise, I'll be so good. So fucking good. ”
“Y-yeah- ah-”
“F- fuck-”
And then he came, whole body stiffening, squeezing you in his hold, and you came too, with the quick rough thrusts of his hips urging you on, bringing you over the edge…
And then he relaxed. And sat down, although you were still attached to him, but oh well, you… you were tired.
You managed to turn around, somehow, despite how tightly he was holding you, and looked up at him. At the bottom of his face, his mouth, his lips, his teeth, mouths agape as he breathed heavily, vocal cords filled with tumors making his voice sound raspy, husky, grated.
“That… was really nice.” You finally breathed out after a few more moments of catching your breath, and smiled as you saw him grin proudly.
“You did good. Really good.” You added on, and he started to giggle.
“Y'know I think you might've awakened a few new kinks in me, somehow that was possible to do after like, 50 years of being alive.”
“Is that so?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Never thought I'd be into anal stuff, yet- I mean, did you see that shit? I came like a goddamn fountain!!” He laughed and you did as well.
“You just needed enough foreplay and prep, that's all.” You hummed, gently caressing his cheek, and your heart did many fun things in your chest when he tilted his head to lean into your touch.
“ Puppy .” You whispered, and he chuckled.
“Huh?”
“Nothing. Just… just thinking out loud.”
“You saying I'm a puppy?”
You blushed. “...maybe.”
He nuzzled your palm and just hummed, quiet like he was expecting more explanations, so obviously you kept on talking.
“Cause… you're cute. Obedient. You like rewards, being praised. You… you like to serve. Which is ironic, since you're such a rule breaker but… I get it.”
He blushed. “Yeah?”
“Yeah! I think… I… I'd wanna give you that attention you crave so much.”
“Fucking hell, pookie bear, that's like music to my ears.” He cooed, and you laughed, caressing his cheek with your thumb.
“Can… Can we see each other again?” you asked softly after a while of silence. He grinned. “Fuck yeah. I'd love that.”
He gently cradled your face in his palms and leaned in to kiss you softly. You reciprocated, smiling happily, holding on to him for a while longer.