Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

I cannot for the life of me remember the name of that fic that inspired this rant, but I’m putting this here as is, both to give more context to the previous chapter’s end note, but also in hopes someone else knows the name of the fic and tells me.

• Vernon is a representation of what humans don't know about the unknown in the books, he discovers something with a lot of unknowns and he fears and hates it.
  
  
• But he loves his son. He loves his family. That's mostly why he hated Harry in the books. Harry was part of an unknown. Unknown meant danger. Danger could mean harm to his wife and child. It was easy to hate Harry because Harry wasn't his own.
  
  
• But Dudley, Dudley is his kid. He loves Dudley. So finding out his kid is also part of this unknown kinda puts him in conflict for a few chapters. But he eventually decides he loves his kid more than he hates the unknown.
  
  • It's not like an immediate 'Im now okay with magic and I'll treat Harry like my own son' kinda thing either.
    
    
• At first, Dudley points out that Harry should be treated better now, since there's no logic behind Vernon's mistreatment. Vernon is a lil hesitant but he's like "Yah okay that's fair." And they move Harry into the small room. And throughout the fic he's like, still totally mixed about the whole magic thing, but willing to do what it takes to make his son happy. 
  
  
• But Petunia is the most vocal about the whole thing in the beginning. She and Vernon have a big argument that Harry and Dudley sit outside and listen to. Afterwards she goes quiet. She has arguments with Vernon throughout the rest of the fic until she finally up and leaves in the middle of the night leaving just a letter about how "She couldn't take it anymore" and all that bullshit.
  • Petunia has already shown bitter resentment towards Lily and Harry for having Magic. It's been mentioned she wrote a letter to Dumbledore too asking if she could go to Hogwarts too, but unable because of her inability to do magic. So, her sister gets to go to a big fancy school and become their parents favorite all because she has something Petunia doesn't.  And now her own son, has it? It's like the universe just slapped her and then slapped her twice.

• • Not that she doesn't deserve it, given current circumstances, but still. The fact she leaves after I think Year 1? Isn't very surprising.
    
    
• Vernon stays behind and starts doing things to make his boy and Harry feel more comfortable about themselves. Three years in, he's still uncomfortable about the whole thing but if it means Dudley is happy (especially now that Petunia just up and left without even a proper goodbye,) he will do it.
  
  
  • He's getting a better relationship with Harry too because the two hang out and have each other's backs. In their Third year he even gets a Floo installed into their Chimney by Remus. (Shenanigans ensue too) and Vernon like, obviously wanted to get angry during said Shenanigans but he instead just tried to force himself to calm down to get it installed. And that. That's growth dude.

Now onto my notes for this particular ficlet:

• I imagine in this world Vernon wasn't abusive, but could only manage the bare minimum of keeping Harry from total neglect because of Petunia. Because Normal families work through things and compromise, right? So, Harry has his own room, and does get to eat often, but he still has more chores, and Vernon still has to work, so there's nothing he can do to stop Petunia from locking Harry in the cupboard under the stairs as punishment when he's gone. (They probably had a fight about it, the first time she had tried it in front of him. After that she just got sneakier about it.)
  
  
• Vernon also probably sat Dudley down at a young age kind of awkwardly blustered his way through a talk on why Petunias actions shouldn't affect how Dudley treats Harry, because "Your mummy is still hurting, but she's going about it the wrong way and doing things she shouldn't do to Harry."
  
  
• (God, was that a difficult conversation to have, but luckily whatever thing floating around Harry seemed to be helping him out, because sometimes Dudley's eyes would dart to the side during the silences like he was listening to someone else.)
  
  
• Dudley probably secretly helps Harry with his chores when Petunia isn't looking. It would be really heartwarming to think of a scene where Dudley and his original gang hang out a lot with Harry during school and sometimes sneak over to help him with the gardens so he's not doing the most difficult chore alone. (They don't tell their mums because they're all afraid something would happen to Harry if Petunia caught wind of it)
  
  
• And oh those boys are fierce when it comes time and Petunia leaves. Because the Number 4 house may not know where she went but goddamn if these boys won't find her for them.
  
  
• "Duds and Harry are gonna be outta country in some fancy school with no phones or nothing, and Mr. Dursley is too busy with his own problems to do this himself. Where did she go, where is she staying. It will be our job from now on to find out."
  
  
• Imagine being a secretary for a private investigator and a gaggle of boys comes up to the desk and they're loud, and rowdy, and can't sit still, and demanding attention and you go, “Oh great some lil pranksters.”
  • Only for them to gather to pour a bunch of dollar bills and loose change and ask for help finding a woman, the mother of their friend, who abandoned their and left without a word.
  • Investigator: ...I'm intrigued. What will you do when you find her?
    • Piers: First, we'll tell Mr. Dursley because he's trying to serve her divorce papers.
  • Investigator: and then?
    • Malcom: Then we egg her house, that bitch.
  • Investigator, trying not to grin: ...I'll pretend I didn't hear that.
    
    
• Meanwhile Vernon is hitting the Gym and converting almost all his body weight into pure muscle so when he can show Dumbledore and Voldemort a real Halloween Tragedy.
  
  
  • The Spirit is acting like his cheerleader.
    • Death Eater: No way that a mere Muggle can defeat our Lord!
  • Spirit: Your Lord is shaped like a used toothpick. Vernon is all about equal rights.
    • *suplex.sfx*
  • Spirit: ...and equal lefts. Get wrecked scrubs.
    
    
• Even better is Snape and Vernon begrudgingly working together for the sake of Harry
  
  
  • They bond over their mutual disgust of Petunia.
    
    
  • Everyone in Privet Drive is convinced Snape is the Gay Best Friend.
    
    

• Vernon doesn't dispute it because, even though he is pretty sure Snape is still in love with his ex-sister-in-law, he's like... Squinting his eyes trying to think at any other woman Snape has ever bothered with around him.
  • Meanwhile everything that happens with Sirius is like… -gestures- there...
  • And The tension with Remus? During Harry’s Third Year??
  • Literally there are more instances of Snape having tensions with men than women.
  • I mean you can even consider Quirrell in this case.
  • Literally pins that man to the bookshelves
  • Or the wall, I forgot which.
    
    
• Vernon reading books about "What to do with Your Gay Best Friend" and "LGBT Allies Unite!" and quickly hiding them away when Snape sends a message about coming over.
  
  
• Point is Snape is fruity and probably in denial at this point
  • So is Sirius
  • But in like
  • Different flavors of denial
    
    
• Sev is like, "I didn't have the time to think about it" kind of fruity.
  • And Sirius is more "I kissed my friend on the lips and kinda liked it but no homo, amirite bro haha"
  • Remus is probably more aware of his own sexuality but at some point forgot to talk about it out loud kinda of guy

• Also, I never gave the Spirit a name in my notes, so if anyone has any suggestions: Go for it!

• This next bit is going to be the World-building lore I made regarding the concepts of Souls in the Harry potter Universe. Given that it really didn’t fit the energy of the rest of the idea, I decided to put it here instead.

"Okay, so keep in mind that this is all just my own theories and speculations, alright?" She started in a warning tone, holding up a hand. "Cause you always hear all this junk about you being 'the very culmination of your soul,' but little on what else exactly a soul is. So, after some thinkin on it, I believe there is, at the very least, three parts to a soul."

"Three?"

"Yes, three. The first is the Animus. I guess you can say that this is your link to the mortal plane, the binding between this world and your body that keeps the other two parts held down until its time to jet. Obviously there are going to be some exceptions, but we'll get to that in a bit. This is the part that directly relates to your physical state. Your appearance, your health, all that. The healthier you are, the stronger the bindings, the less chance you'll dip out this world unless something unexpected happens."

"Like an ill-timed Avada Kedavra?" Harry said, his tone dry and blank.

"See you're joking, but yes." She shrugged. "It's also reliant on how stable the next part of the soul is. Which is the Psyche."

Ron paused with mouth full of food, chewing thoughtfully. "Wot, as in like, our brains?" 

"Kind of. More like what's in your brain. Things related to the mind, like memories, emotions, and personality, can be found within the Psyche. I think this is also what ties down ghosts to this world even though their bodies have already gotten the memo. Kind of."

"Kind of? Its more like... an echo." She said, rubbing the back of her head. "Much akin to ghosts themselves, their soul is more like the echo of what their Psyche was before their death, but not actually the soul itself. After enough time, I think they become their own, unique type of soul. One that, at first, uses their place of haunting as the Animus rather than their physical bodies. That's because when they first die, they're still similar to their former self, but then gain new memories and experiences that deviate from the original."

"Because as people change, so does the soul?"

"Exactly! They're not the same person, or ghoul, that they were before their death. Completely different people at this point." She nodded, "-with new knowledge, new memories, new experiences. But they would be unable to grow much from this new information without a Core."

"The third part of the soul." Harry gave a nod, which the spirit-like entity returned.

"Yes, the Core. If the Animus is the building, then I guess you can say the Core is the foundation. Without it, the rest is unable to really go on, unable to grow or remain stable, it is also what I think sets up what exactly we can become."

Harry frowned, narrowing his eyes. "Like.... our limitations?" 

"No," She raised her hand and made a cutting motion over her head. "It is set to our greatest potential, far above what most people are capable of achieving. The rest fully depends on whether or not the other parts of the soul can reach it before our mortality meets its end or meet certain criteria to unlock the potential. And- now this is gonna sound kind of crazy- but I think this is where things like our magical core and other abilities can be found."

She spread out her arms, giving a half shrug of her shoulder. "I mean, think about it right? The magical core isn't an organ. Cut open a normal non-magical, and cut open a wizard, and they're both inwardly the same. Gross and full of squishy bits, with no magical core in sight."

"But it can't be stored in the psyche either, cause that would mean we'd face even more severe mental repercussions than physical repercussions when using spells. Yet we have an equal of both if we do too much. Plus, if the core really holds all and any potential that a person is capable of reaching, then the Animus and the Psyche must have met the right hidden conditions to activate the magical core sleeping within when the soul is forming. In theory, at least."

"And, speakin' of theoretically-" She stressed, pinching her index and middle fingers against her thumbs as she swooped her hands in a downward motion, "Theoretically... one might be able to break their Animus into smaller bits, smaller chains, and have them bound to inanimate objects akin to the way ghosts have their psyche bound to a particular place or thing. Thus allowing for potential immortality... or at the very least, a slowing of the aging process."  

"Wait, wait a minute. Are you're saying that a horcrux is an actual viable method towards immortality?" Hermione leaned in, fascinated. 

"....No." The Spirit finger gunned toward the bushy brunette, "Nice guess, but that would require a horcrux to take only from the Animus. However, given what we know about Voldemort's current state, both physical and mental, a horcrux doesn't do that. According to Dumbledore, It takes half of what is known as your soul. It never specifies a particular part. Even if we put aside the fact that a soul is never supposed to be torn apart to begin with, that's still half your physical state; half of your emotions, your memories, your knowledge, your magic...."

She held up a finger for each piece she listed off, before raising a brow. "...Do you see what I'm getting at here?" 

"Instability..." Harry muttered, his mind flashing to the graveyard. His fingers brushed against the diary within his robes, feeling the way it bristled under his touch, the unease that laid within its pages with every word spoken.

"Across all Boards." The Spirit nodded as her expression turned serious. "Balance is pretty standard thing, even among change. The effect might not be so bad in the beginning, when at the first torn, but the soul was never meant to come apart in such a violent manner that a horcrux creates. It creates a friction that the pieces just... cannot compensate for. Especially when left far apart from the other half, which will always happen because no super idiot is gonna be smart enough, or smarter for much longer, to carry around the piece they broke off around on their being." 

Realization dawned in Hermione's eyes, "Which only gets worse the more horcruxes they make..."

"Because with half their better traits gone, leaves stronger negative traits in the main body." The Spirit hummed. "Though I'll admit, Voldemort is the worst of the bunch I've seen so far. That's too many violent tears for a soul to really bare...not with the Psyche's sanity intact at least."

"Hold on a tick," Ron raised his hand, brow furrowing, "Wouldn't that mean that Voldemort's power would lessen too? Still seemed pretty powerful from what 'arry told us."

Harry's expression darkened, and the flashes of the graveyard seemed ever clearer...

"Yeah," He muttered, moodily glaring at the floor. "He was."

An awkward silence fell as Hermione and Ron exchanged glances. One was sheepish, and the other was patronizing. However, the Spirit was also quiet, looking somewhat uneasy.

"...It's not that Voldemort wasn't powerful," She started, carefully, like trying to scoot past a particularly ornery bear. "...It's that he wasn't at his peak."

"....What." Harry snapped his head up, emerald eyes flashing. The Spirit winced and rubbed her neck awkwardly. 

"It’s as I said, Voldemort is not at what his full power could have been had his soul been complete." She winced, "The power you saw Harry, that you contended with, is only an eighth or ninth of what it could be."

"You mean..." Hermione trailed off as color drained from her face.

"Why do you think Dumbledore never bothered to fight him directly?" 

"Bloody Hell." Ron breathed, his food forgotten.

"FUCK." The word was sudden and sharp, followed by a harsh kick to the table that had his friends staring at his in disbelief. Harry ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the strands. "I can't believe this. This whole time, I've been struggling to face him at the power's he's got, and they would expect me to win when he's at full power?"

"Harry." The Spirit blinked. "Harry, you're his equal." 

"Yeah, fat lot of good that means when I can only face a ninth of him." He snapped. 

"No, Harry. You're not getting it." She gestured. "You're his equal. Do you have any idea how rare that is considering the consistency of a soul?" 

"...No?" He literally just learned everything about them 10 minutes ago. 

"...Right. Sorry, my bad. Let me explain: Souls, despite all their similarities, are never consistent."

Silence fell for a moment. 

"Alright, I'm lost." Hermione huffed. 

Ron sighed. "That's not a good sign." 

"Lemme finish!" The entity pouted, brows furrowing as she glared. "Souls are inconsistent in the way that few souls rarely ever match. Fewer still that they match within the same lifetimes. Its like comparing peaches to plums, plums to oranges, oranges to apples, apples to watermelon, and so on. Sure, they're all fruits, but maybe not the one you want or need depending on the situation."

"Any souls that do match in such a way are inexplicably drawn to each other, bound in ways that cannot be perceived or understood. Sometimes as family, as friends, as lovers. Other times as strangers, as rivals, as enemies. Sometimes they share ideals, or similar lives. ....Or maybe they don't. But both have the same potential, the same power. Connected in many ways... yet unbound as any other soul, all the same."

"So... you're saying that Harry has the potential to grow into what Voldemort could have been?" Hermione said, thoughtfully looking up. 

"Exactly."