Archive of Our Own

Renjun is convinced that their campus is haunted.

Or, at the least, stalked by a supernatural being. And Renjun understands that sounds absolutely fucking insane. So insane in fact, that it’s an idea that Donghyuck of all people, would agree with.

“Listen,” Donghyuck interjects. His legs are swung over the laps of Jisung and Mark, his hard seltzer held high in the air dangerously sloshing near the brim. He watches as Jisung’s wide eyes follow the swing of alcohol. “There’s a fucking sasquatch on these grounds. Or a yeti. Or the Goatman. I dunno, but there’s something.”

Chenle looks up from the floor he was forced to sit on by Donghyuck (“Because you’re a baby and babies don’t get to sit with the big boys”) and he scowls at the older boy. “You mean bigfoot?”

“No.”

“There’s a difference.”

Donghyuck finally brings his sloshing can to his lips, to Jisung’s relief, and downs it in one big gulp. He crushes it in one hand and Renjun wrinkles his nose. “I’ve always wondered how it felt to be you.”

Mark and Jeno’s living room is a constant in their life. The tiny room is smushed between the wall of the kitchen and it nestles in a corner of exposed brick that most definitely held something deadly from the previous residents. College apartments didn’t leave much room for sanitary living, but Mark and Jeno cover the suspicious dark spots on the rough wall with random decor.

Chenle approaches the conversation wearily as if he knows where it’s going. Mark sighs, feeling the setup as well. “Why?”

“Because I don’t know if I could stand always being fucking wrong.”

“I’m ignoring you for the sake of my sanity and for the wellbeing of those around us.”

Donghyuck only chirps a “cute!” and leans back into the arms of Mark. “Kinda mad that none of you agree there’s a cryptid on our campus.”

“Why on earth,” Jisung starts angrily, turning his lanky body toward him, “would we agree with you?”

Renjun thinks the trio looks kind of ridiculous smushed on the couch together, but the worn green sofa was free and Jeno had claimed beggars can’t be choosers so he left his complaints on the curb (by a fucking graveyard), choosing to stay silent.

“Because! You’re telling me that none of you ever feel like you’re being watched on the way to class? Are you all not scared to open your window? Or, maybe just considered, the vibes are weird around here?”

Renjun stays silent for several reasons. First, he doesn’t have a death wish. A death wish in the sense that he would rather take a very long walk off a short pier than be caught agreeing with Donghyuck, especially agreeing with Donghyuck on the fact that he believes in the supernatural. Two, see reason number one. Three, repeat.

Renjun considered himself a sensible man in all regards to what could be agreed upon in terms of practicality. He always rationalized the best he could, took his time with decisions, and tried to assess a situation to the most acceptable of his abilities– but, of course, he was only human. And maybe, possibly, Renjun believed in the supernatural.

He knows it goes against everything he stands for, okay, he knows. But this was different. Renjun was sure of a lot of things in his life. For instance, he hated blue ink pens and revolving doors. And he was sure that there was…something on their beloved university grounds.

“You are being followed,” Chenle adds from the bottom. His feet slide on the tile of Mark’s living room as he pulls his knees up to his chest. He’s got that look on his face that gives Renjun the fucking chills. It’s the look he gets specifically for Donghyuck when he’s about to commit a heinous act of terror on him. Maybe Chenle was really the mysterious aura floating around the edge of the grounds.

Donghyuck furrows his brows. “I thought you just said you didn’t beli–”

“It’s probably the government.”

Mark sighs again and Jisung heaves himself off the couch, letting the boy’s long tan legs flop to the ground. Renjun would be smart to follow him, but he always enjoyed the showdowns of who-can-win– maybe that’s why Mark sticks around too.

“The government,” Donghyuck splutters. “Don’t say that, Lele! You know how I feel!”

“Because it’s true. They’ve been watching you, Donghyuck.”

“Notfunnynotfunnynotfunny,” the boy sings to himself, covering his ears, trying to drown the hysteria out. Renjun can’t help but smile into his drink.

“Chenle,” Renjun warns, standing up as well. “You’re going to push him into tinfoil madness.”

The boy smiles from the ground, teeth a blinding white. “You mean he doesn’t already wear a tinfoil hat around the apartment?” A squawk of protest fills the living room and Renjun ruffles the boy’s hair fondly as he gingerly steps around him, following Jisung into the kitchen.

Renjun hears a faint “but we believe the couch is haunted, why can’t we believe that our university is too?”

Jisung rolls his eyes and grabs a beer– he offers one to Renjun. Renjun takes it gratefully and leans against the counter, watching his friends bicker.

“You buying this?” Jisung asks. He sits on the countertops despite all his ganglyness and limbs that don’t quite fit. Although, being the youngest of all of them, he had managed to sprout above everyone. Renjun had been quite envious when Jisung showed up at his apartment and ruffled his hair.

“Well, the couch was stolen from a graveyard.”

“It was on a curb by the graveyard and it was free. But no–” he gestures wildly with the hand that wasn’t gripping his drink, “the whole haunted campus thing.”

Renjun sighs, turning to Jisung. “You know what I think?”

The boy blinks at him owlishly, feet swinging.

“That Donghyuck is an idiot.”

“He’s your best friend,” Jisung reminds him, taking a sip. Renjun scowls and pinches his thigh, making the boy squeak and scoot away. “Which means,” he continues anyway, “that you probably agree with him.”

“What kind of logic is that? Donghyuck also thinks that Mark is the coolest person ever and Spongebob is the funniest show on air.”

“Mark is cool and Spongebob is the funniest show to ever air though.”

“Jisung. Mark is not the coolest, I am. Also, Gumball is the funniest show.”

The younger boy pauses at Renjun’s response and he narrows his eyes in scrutinization. “Maybe this is why you and him are best friends.”

“What does that mean?” “Nothing. Don’t think too much about what I just said.”

Renjun is taken aback but Jeno coming through the door shakes them out of their conversation. Jeno perks up when he sees Meso, their faithful bong, on the wooden coffee table. (The coffee table picked up by the dumpsters their freshman year).

“Meso!”

“You would think you’re happier to see Meso than your friends,” Chenle says with his eyebrows raised. He stands up to take Jisung’s empty spot on the couch but Donghyuck sticks a leg out, blocking the boy. He sticks his tongue out.

Jeno slings his backpack to the ground and throws his keys to his 99’ Cherokee, both landing in a heap on the floor, most likely to be questioned with has anyone seen my keys tomorrow morning.

“Because I am happier. Meso has never let me down.” Jeno takes the spot Chenle was fighting for with ease, collapsing against the shoulder of Mark, holding Donghyuck’s body closer in their laps.

“If one of you doesn’t scoot over and make room for Chenle–” Renjun warns from the kitchen. He doesn’t get far in his warning because Donghyuck is huffing a dramatic sigh, sitting up properly for the first time. He pushes Jeno over with his ass, making a Chenle sized spot. Chenle makes a sound of victory and he plops down next to them. Despite Donghyuck being the main culprit of the shunning, he wraps his arm around the horizon of his shoulders and pulls him to his chest.

“That’s also why you’re Donghyuck’s best friend. Not even Mark can make him listen.”

Renjun shrugs. “If you threaten him enough he listens.”

Renjun isn’t sure why he decided to room with Donghyuck.

And he isn’t sure why they continued to live together once they left the dorms, swapping it out for campus apartments. Possibly Renjun was an idiot, or possibly, Renjun was unfortunately fond of his best friend.

And when it comes to being best friends with Donghyuck one must understand that any forms of personal space and secrets are out of the question. His roommate is probably the only person in the world that could see right through Renjun. Sometimes he wondered if Donghyuck was a mind reader. (Chenle was probably the second person that could ever grasp what was ever going on in Renjun’s head but that was because Chenle was a freak and always underestimated by his peers. A definite special case).

“I know you agree with me!” Donghyuck objects.

He and Renjun are walking to their 8am together, the crisp edges of morning clawing through their clothes. Spring was still trying to swallow winter. Renjun frowns at him, hugging his hoodie tighter and tugging down his hat.

“See, I know you–”

“Unfortunately.”

“-And you believe in this sort of stuff Renjunnie.”

The orange sun slinks over the tops of the trees and they follow the familiar run-down shortcut to the edge of the east end of the campus. Granted, their shortcut wasn’t exactly safe in comparison to the other alternative routes students found and took. This one involved going through the random ‘nature reserve’ that was located in the central part of campus.

Most of their university, in fact, was surrounded by a thicket of woods. The vast greenery was a magnet to future students who had merely viewed the campus layout online, and also a total turnoff to students who already lived there when they found that the woods ultimately encircled the premises. It was like a summer camp– one that involved a lot of sex, stress, copious amounts of alcohol, and a bottomless curfew.

“Mmm,” Renjun pretends to think as they step together, jumping over the random log in the middle of the cracked sidewalk, “No.”

Donghyuck’s voice was indignant. “So you wouldn’t mind going this way by yourself in the mornings?”

Renjun hesitates and puts on a brave face. “Nope.” He even pops the p.

“You’re such a fucking liar bro. Like even Mark doesn’t–” He pauses and stops in his tracks. “What the fuck is that?”

Renjun follows his finger that points to a cookie in the middle of the sidewalk. Half of it’s eaten.

“Someone had the munchies?”

“At 7:30 in the morning?”

“I’ve watched you ferociously hit Meso in your bed at 6 in the morning.”

“It wasn’t ferociously,” he protests.

Donghyuck scans the area suspiciously and wraps his fist around the material of Renjun’s hoodie, tugging him faster up the path. “Or someone got snatched while walking to class.”

‘It must be exhausting to be you,” Renjun comments, but he too, keeps up with his best friend’s new fast pace.

“Renjun, please– I know you think there’s something too. You just don’t want to agree with me, and for our friendship, I’m going to ignore that.”

“Donghyuck, it’s too early for this. Seriously. I’m trying to mentally prepare for the fact that I have a chemistry class at 8 in the morning.” “That was your choice. You could’ve been reasonable and chosen to take the walking class with me.”

“Why you’re paying to take a walking class is beyond me.”

Donghyuck smiles, his signature boxy grin taking up his face. “I’m not the one who put off his science requirement.”

Renjun gives him a sharp look as they finally break out of the thicket and onto the structured paths of the university. Not that it was any better, really. He supposes it would be a pretty campus if it weren’t so fucking creepy and offputting.

The campus location was really the only downside, and he supposes that everyone was quite dramatic, considering the trip to town was only four miles away. A town that was somehow completely…normal. Coffee shops, karaoke bars, and little restaurants that were hidden and smushed between historic brick buildings. Supposedly the founder of their college was just a nature enthusiast. Hence the random nature reserve on campus.

“You know,” Donghyuck says before they turn to split their ways, “if you claim that you’re not scared to take the shortcut by yourself and that there isn’t something here, why don’t you do it for the rest of the semester.”

And Renjun has a choice.

Donghyuck once said that there are three moments in one’s life that determine a major role in their fate; whether those moments be meeting people, or making a certain choice, those threaded opportunities are guaranteed in life.

“Three moments,” Donghyuck coughs out in a splutter, smoke swirling around the room. Mark was on the other side of him, entranced by every moment of the boy. But Mark was always like that– always enchanted by Donghyuck.

Renjun was high, staring at the ceiling of his bedroom. Jisung and Chenle were on either side of him, limbs tossed over his stomach, their hands intertwined. Jeno, sprawled on the floor asleep. Meso sat on the floor next to him, balanced perfectly on the small shag rug.

“Three moments in your life that shape your fate.” His socks wiggle underneath the bronze fairy lights. He sits on Renjun’s desk and points to the trio on the bed.

Chenle’s hair tickles against Renjun’s cheek as he turns his head to tear into the boy. Mark smiles lazily from the desk chair. “You say the dumbest shit when you’re toasted.”

“I think it’s kind of sweet,” Mark says fondly.

“Of course you would,” Donghyuck replies with a soft grin, “you’re one of those moments in my life.” The trio groans on the bed and Jisung sits up, even with Chenle and Renjun’s protest of warmth loss.

“Are you two fucking? Be honest.” He asks as Donghyuck is ripping into Meso.

“What,” Donghyuck splutters. Smoke shoots out of his nose and throat, Mark just looks panicked. Whether it was at the boy choking or the question, Renjun wasn’t sure.

“No, gross.”

“Gross,” Mark says in agreement, echoing the boy’s words. Renjun can’t help but notice he’s got this funny look on his face as if he had tasted something bitter in the smoke between his teeth.

“Three moments,” Renjun says, staring at the water-stained ceilings, repeating Donghyuck. And it sticks with him. Even if Donghyuck was too high to remember, even if it were a toss-away comment, for some reason it just stuck.

Donghyuck had later added from the edge of the bathtub where he was watching Renjun throw up his Smirnoff pink vodka lemonade, that you often don’t know when those moments are in front of you.

“They’re simply small instants, mundane ones. You only realize after.”

Renjun scowls from his position on the floor, head hanging over the toilet. Donghyuck tuts and tucks his sweaty strands behind his ear. He’s thankful but he won’t say anything.

“Is this really the moment to be telling me?”

Donghyuck sighs, propping his chin on his hand, watching Renjun throw up again.

“You were one of those moments, you know.”

Renjun finally catches his breath and he tilts his head on his own bicep, staring down the toilet with tired eyes.

“What the fuck are you ever talking about?”

“Not just Mark, but also you. Like, you were one of those moments.”

Renjun doesn’t say anything, but he gives a small smile, despite the sickness rolling in his stomach.

“And your third moment?”

“Hadn’t had it yet.”

Now, they stand at the east student center and Donghyuck regards him with a sort of triumphant look on his face. He hates when he gets smug like this. And it’s always when he knows he’s right over Renjun.

“So you want me to die?”

Donghyuck’s voice lifts to a higher pitch, his words a song. “Why, Renjun, if you don’t believe it, would you be scared?”

Renjun swallows thickly. “M’ not.”

“Right.”

“Right.”

Donghyuck raises an eyebrow. “So do it. I’ll even take the long way every day and meet you here.”

Because Renjun is an idiot, he simply just shrugs and says a simple “Okay.”

renjunnie: chenle

chenle (maybe): yea?

renjunnie: kk good I have the right number

chenle (maybe): ?!?!?!

renjunnie: what are you doing at 7:30am tomorrow

chenle (maybe): sleeping like a normal person

chenle (maybe):: why?

renjunnie: can you meet me in the nature reserve

chenle (maybe): what the fuck

chenle (maybe): no i’m not stupid like you and hyuck

renjunnie: i thought you weren’t scared/believe in the haunted shit

chenle (maybe):oh i don’t. I just dont wanna wake up that early for u

chenle (maybe): but why do i need to meet you there that early

renjunnie: no reason. don’t tell anyone we had this convo

chenle (maybe): renjun????

chenle (maybe): hello

chenle (maybe): please don’t tell me youre dealing drugs. just do uber eats or tutoring as a side job like a normal person

chenle (maybe): helloooooo?????

chenle (maybe): are you serious

ren: hey

markie poo: sorry, i can’t walk you to class tomorrow, i promised donghyuck. i won’t tell him you asked tho :D

ren: you’re awful. you’re so mean.

markie poo: :(

markie poo: do u wanna see a picture of jeno asleep with 11 pillows balanced on his head

ren: yea

It’s fine.

It’s absolutely fine.

He’s not going to get snatched like the poor cookie student. He wasn’t.

Renjun treks along the cracks, staying exactly in the middle of the sidewalk, his bag held flush to his shoulders. He had even packed an extra book in there just in case he needed to swing it at the sasquatch– or the Goatman. Whatever the fuck it was.

You’re 23 years old.

Donghyuck was definitely keeping his word, as Renjun had heard him leave early enough to take the long way and meet him at the end of the thicket. The thought of his best friend waiting for him at the other end was somewhat comforting– even if it was just Donghyuck.

His keys jangle in his hand as he hurriedly power walks over the mini wooden bridge, oak creaking and stretching beneath his feet.

God, this is stupid. Monsters aren’t even real. You know what’s real? Murderers. You should be more scared of those than a fictional being.

Renjun is only five minutes into his walk when he gets the sensation. It’s one that makes his neck prickle, one that compels his skin to feel…strange. It’s the identical one that he gets when he leaves his window open for too long at night, trying to air out the thick veil of smoke that floats in his room. It’s also the sensation he got when he got lost in the west end of the Science Research Facility at night, hollow hallways and empty classrooms that seemed to hold more than just desks.

Renjun wills himself to breathe and not call Donghyuck. It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real. Whatever ‘it’ was, he wasn’t sure.

He tugs his beanie down and shakes his shoulders, straightening his hoodie out. He just had to keep walking. He does so faithfully, pace now slipping into a tiny jog, and his feet hit the pavement in a hurry. Not before there’s a crunch beneath his feet and he loses any sense of confidence, blanking out in a sheer force of terror. A terror that was worse than last Halloween when his friends made him go first in line for the haunted house.

Renjun screams, stumbling back– slamming into a simmering, heated body.

“You found it!”

Renjun screams– again.

A boy is holding Renjun’s elbows, a gleeful smile stretched widely over his mouth. His teeth look almost sharp and his hair brushes his brows, a thick, silky ink wave. His smile drops, replaced with confusion when he sees the look on Renjun’s face, mouth open and panting.

“Why are you screaming?” he asks, tilting his head. Even the tilt of his head is fucking weird.

Renjun yanks himself out of the stranger’s hold and he trips a bit when he distances himself from the boy. He looks down to see that he had stepped on the cookie from the other day; the cookie was now crushed into three small pieces. The boy follows his gaze and his smile rips back onto his face.

Renjun watches in astonishment as he crouches down and picks up the pieces, then popping one into his mouth.

“Oh my God.”

“What?” his mouth is full and he crunches happily. “You’re kind of amazing for finding it. I lost it the other day and had no clue where I could’ve dropped it.”

Without thinking Renjun grabs the other two pieces from his clawed grip and then catapults them off the trail and into the creek.

“You scared the fuck out of me! Don’t you know not to come up behind people and grab them–” he splutters, hands flying wildly in the air, “and don’t you know not to eat food off the ground?” Renjun grabs his backpack off the ground and swings it back on his shoulders. He straightens his beanie again, drawing the strings of his hoodie tighter.

The boy is silent, face blank before the corner of his mouth twitches into a beaming grin. “Cute.”

There’s a thick pause, a lull between them as he processes his words. Renjun flushes and turns back around, heading back up the path.

The boy falls into step next to him, long legs easily matching his pace.

“You’re Huang Renjun, right?”

Renjun glances over sharply. “You know my name?”

“We have chemistry together. You sit in seat 11, row 6, on the right side.”

He must note that look of astonishment on Renjun’s face and he taps his forehead with one finger, canines glinting in the curious morning sun that’s peering through the trees. “I remember everything. I think people call it a Diabetic memory.”

“It’s an eidetic memory.”

“Oh. Maybe my memory isn’t as good as I thought,” he says with a frown.

Renjun can’t help but snort. He quickly shakes the smile off his face. If Donghyuck were here, he would be in a coma from laughing so hard.

“And you are?”

“Jaemin.”

“Sorry,” Renjun says, “my memory isn’t good.”

“It’s okay,” Jaemin chirps, hopping over the log far too high in the air. He made it look easy as breathing. “I sit in the very back anyway.”

Renjun notes that he doesn’t have a backpack on him. He just has himself.

“Where’s your stuff?”

“What stuff? You mean my cookies?” He stuffs his hands in his pockets but then frowns– “Never mind. I’m out.”

Renjun stares. “No. Your stuff for class?”

Jaemin laughs as if Renjun’s question was funny, and he taps his forehead again. His eyes are a striking amber– so light that he wonders if they’re contacts. Jaemin was pretty after all, so it would make sense if he was the type to wear them. Everything about him seemed effortless, but also, curated.

His hair was silk and the deepest black; it fell in perfect waves, and even the way his bangs were sheer enough to see his forehead appeared elementary to him. Renjun tugged on his beanie self-consciously.

“So you just remember everything Dr. Byrd says?”

“I already know everything Dr. Byrd says,” Jaemin replies easily.

“What’s your major?” Renjun asks curiously.

“Photography.”

Renjun makes a choking sound. “Then how–?”

“Mmm,” Jaemin says, jumping over another log, in an easy fashion. He catches even more air this time. “It just makes sense. I only took it to meet my science requirement.”

“Right,” he says slowly. Jaemin notes his tone and his lips quirks up to the side.

Renjun hadn’t even noticed that they had made it through the thicket. Donghyuck waits criss-cross on the curb, jumping to his feet when he sees him. He’s in his arms in a flash, throwing himself over the top of Renjun’s shoulders.

“Oh my God, you’re alive!”

Renjun’s taken aback. “You were scared for me?”

“Of course?” he says, voice high. “You took forever and I almost felt bad for making you go alone.”

“Almost?”

“Yeah? I was thi–” Donghyuck abruptly halts in his speech. “Who’s this?”

Jaemin is still standing there, watching the exchange curiously. He waves when Donghyuck looks at him, both eyebrows raised.

“Jaemin,” Renjun says as if that answers everything. “The cookie was his, by the way.”

Donghyuck doesn’t have to say anything to him, he and Renjun spoke with their eyes. And they were clearly saying–

Why do you always bring the freaks home?

And Renjun’s–

I don’t!! They come to me

“Then you cheated,” Donghyuck says, letting go of Renjun. “You were supposed to go alone.”

“I did–” he glances over to Jaemin. “He was just...there.”

Jaemin smiles.

Donghyuck glances between the two, directing his attention to Jaemin. “Since when do you take the same route we do?”

“Everyone knows about that shortcut.”

“Yeah, but nobody takes it but us,” Donghyuck replies.

“That’s not true. Emma Caddel took it last September, and Ryan Elrod took it in March. Well, only halfway before he turned around–”

Donghyuck’s eyes screw up in confusion and he glances at Renjun. He just shrugs.

“We’ve never seen you.”

Jaemin shrugs too. “I’ve seen you.”

“So, I didn’t cheat,” Renjun chirps.

“Cheat?” Jaemin questions.

“Ah, perfect–” Donghyuck wraps his arm around Renjun’s shoulders, pivoting them both to face the boy. Jaemin watches the motion with curiosity, eyes flickering between the two. Renjun doesn’t know why he feels the need to shiver. “Jaemin, do you believe in the supernatural?”

“I’m sure it’s a possibility,” he says easily.

Donghyuck turns his face toward Renjun. “Renjun here doesn’t think there’s a cryptid running around campus.”

Renjun keeps his face impassive but he secretly tries to watch how Jaemin reacts. Jaemin just hums and pulls a crumbling cookie out of his pocket, biting into it with a crunch. Donghyuck doesn’t say anything but his smile drops.

“I’m sure it’s a possibility,” he says, again. Jaemin licks his fingers messily and Renjun frowns.

“Well,” Donghyuck replies stiffly. “You’re not scared or creeped out by here at least?”

“Not really scared of anything,” Jaemin replies matter-of-factly.

Donghyuck squints and then tilts his head. “Dude. Your eyes are crazy.”

Jaemin smiles. A very toothy one. “I get that a lot.”

“They’re like– almost yellow. No..orange?”

“Amber,” Renjun helps. “They’re amber.”

Jaemin wasn’t lying.

He really was in Renjun’s chemistry class. Renjun does wonder how he never noticed someone like him in his lecture hall, though. Now that he had noticed him, it was as if he couldn’t unnotice him. He was just suddenly there.

Even though Renjun sat on the opposite side and several rows down, he couldn’t help but scarcely turn his body to really look at him. Jaemin sat peacefully in his corner, passing as if he were just some normal student. Which, Renjun guesses he was. He doesn’t know why he thinks he’s anything but. He watches as Jaemin taps a classmate that sits a row down from him on the shoulder, and without looking up, they hand him a pen.

Huh.

Jaemin begins to fucking doodle on the table and Renjun’s eyebrows screw up in horror. He looks back at Dr. Byrd, who just keeps teaching without looking back at her students. He panics to find that she had already written several equations on the whiteboard. He hurriedly scribbles and curses to himself.

Then Renjun gets that feeling again. He tries to shake it off but the hairs on the back of his neck began to tingle and he forms a persistent sweat on his forehead. He whips around quickly, and the person behind him gives a dirty look at his sudden move, to find Jaemin examining him. The boy grins brightly and holds up a palm, bright blue ink etched, that says–

Hi :D

Renjun flushes, hastily giving his attention back to the board.

Just to top off Renjun’s day, he comes home to find Chenle asleep on their couch.

The younger boy’s mouth is dropped open in a slight snore, his feet curled up toward his chest. He kind of looks like a cat. Just as cute too. Renjun sighs and grabs the blanket off the mushroom chair (also free– see the dive bar behind Welford Street, just on the corner of Slade) gently placing it over him.

“M’ not asleep,” Chenle says, voice in full clarity, in Chinese.

Renjun startles, answering back. “What the fuck– you were snoring.”

His eyes are open and he peers at Renjun. “Was I?”

“I can’t do this today,” Renjun all but howls. He throws his bag on top of Chenle and the boy makes a garbled sound as he scrambles to push it off his body. He sits up and watches as Renjun curls up in the chair.

Chenle heaves the book bag onto the floor and looks at the older man with shock. “Do you have a small child in that thing?”

“It served as my weapon today.”

“Because you’re dealing drugs now?”

“No, I’m not dealing drugs.”

Jeno steps out of the hallway, his hair wet. He pauses at the two, speaking slowly. “Oh no, you’re yelling at him in Chinese. We’re in for another Renjun and Chenle Cold War. Guys- please don’t do this again.”

Renjun ignores him. “Don’t you both have your own apartment?”

Jeno towels off his hair and plops down next to Chenle. The younger boy tosses himself over Jeno’s lap and rests his cheek on his thigh. Jeno pats his head fondly.

“Yea?” Chenle says. “But it was too far and your place is closer to my next class.”

“I needed to shower but Mark took all the hot water.”

Renjun only takes in a deep breath and closes his eyes, resting his head on his forearm.

“Bad day?” Jeno asks, crisscrossing his legs, and settling into the couch.

“Not really?” Renjun says, voice dubious. “I think it was more weird than anything.”

“Because you’re dealing drugs?” Chenle asks from the man’s lap. Jeno looks up at Renjun in question.

“I’m not!” Renjun scolds. Jeno looks scared.

“You’re talking to him in Chinese again so I have no idea what you just said. Renjun– I know we smoke but you don’t need to sell them–” “I’m not selling or dealing drugs! Chenle just thinks I am.”

“Why?”

“Yeah,” Chenle starts smugly from the couch, “Why would I think that, Renjun?”

Renjun narrows his eyes.

“That doesn’t scare me anymore,” Chenle says sticking out his tongue.

Jeno rolls his eyes. “Anymore.”

Renjun huffs, looking the other way as he speaks. Suddenly finding the blinds very interesting. “Donghyuck said I wouldn’t walk by myself to class through the reserve shortcut.”

Jeno and Chenle both stare at him. It’s Jeno who speaks first. “I’m struggling to find the connection between a bet and sudden drug selling.”

“Why would you ask me to walk with you?” Chenle says, voice curious. “Like that doesn’t make sense. Unless, of course, you’re–” he immediately halts. Jeno looks between the two before he finally gets it.

“Unless you’re scared!” Chenle shouts, scrambling out of Jeno’s lap like a startled cat. He crawls up to the armrest and leans over the hump, grabbing the edge of Renjun’s sleeve. “Huang Renjun! You agree with Lee Donghyuck–”

“Lalalalalalalala!” Renjun sings covering his ears, yanking himself out of Chenle’s grasp. Chenle bats at his hand in an attempt to grab it again. Jeno watches from the couch with a slight worry etched on his features.

“And did you go alone?”

Chenle turns back to Jeno and regards him with a scrutinized gaze. “You look worried there,” he says in an utterly emotionless voice. Jeno just looks nervous.

“Well– I’m just interested in if Renjun actually followed through…”

“You’re scared of the shortcut too, aren’t you?” Chenle says, slowly scooting closer to Jeno.

“No! I’m…um, cautious.”

Chenle suddenly jumps up and backs up far enough that the back of his legs hit the coffee table. He points at both of them. Renjun purses his lips and Jeno looks embarrassed.

“You’re both morons. There’s no way that you think there’s a fucking supernatural being roaming around campus. Guys, seriously, a monster?”

Jeno throws his arms up in defeat, voice incredulous. “You have to admit this place is fucking creepy, okay? Like, even Jisung said that one time he locked his window because he–” Jeno cuts himself off, covering his mouth.

“Jisung.” Chenle deadpans. “Park Jisung is also scared?”

“No,” Jeno says quickly. “You’re lying, you’re twisting my words, I said nothing of the sort.”

“Oh, but you did.”

“Lele,” Jeno replies exasperated, voice desperate. “You can’t tell him I told you. He will blow me up. He will literally strap my body to the top of my Jeep and place explosives in the hood.”

“You and Renjun are arguably the most sensible out of all of us, and you agree with Lee Donghyuck, the man who gets paranoid that the government is following him. Think about that.”

Renjun stands up, escaping to his bedroom. Both Chenle and Jeno follow, still arguing. Renjun tries to close the door in their face but Jeno doesn’t miss a beat as he blocks the frame and slides in with the younger boy in tow. He gives up and flops onto his bed, face first.

“Agreeing with Donghyuck about one thing doesn’t mean I agree with everything he says. Plus, Renjun and Jisung agree. So that means I’m not exactly completely crazy. And if you really think about it, Mark goes along with what Donghyuck says so that means he probably is on board.”

Chenle rolls his eyes, clearly done with the conversation.

Renjun turns on his back and sits up. “Have you guys ever heard of Na Jaemin?”

Chenle and Jeno shake their heads. The youngest looks at him in question. “No, why?”

“I met him in the nature reserve on the way to class.”

Jeno gets up to open the window and his eyes scan the room until he finds Meso. He grins and pulls her off the shelf, looking at the bong with loving eyes.

“I still think you have romantic feelings for Meso,” Renjun notes.

“They’re quite lovely don’t you think?”

Chenle cuts in. “Was he the big bad scary monster?”

“Maybe. He was weird.”

Jeno takes a deep breath and they watch as smoke comes out of his nose like a grand dragon. He offers Meso to Chenle. The boy shakes his head at the proposal.

“Would you two eat a cookie off the ground after it had been there for a couple of days?” Renjun asks from his gaze at the smoke floating out the window.

Jeno coughs from a particularly vicious hit, vapor dispersing everywhere and Chenle wrinkles his nose.

“Jeno probably would.”

“I wouldn’t,” Jeno says, voice hoarse, still coughing. He pauses. “Now, but if it were on the floor of my apartment for a couple of days. Who knows.”

It’s not long before Donghyuck and Mark find the three holed up in Renjun’s room. The pair enter and immediately plop down, settling in. Then, to no one’s surprise, Jisung joined them after he had messaged the groupchat with a–

ji: Where is everyone :(

huang renjun the 3rd duke of china: you have our locations

ji: i was putting good faith in my friends to be honest

Mark, of course, brought Four Lokos. Renjun decides to refuse the offer, as he had too much work to do tonight. In fact, he had far too much to be sitting here with his friends doing nothing.

He convinces his friends that they needed to let him go to the library. He practically had to beg for them to let go of his sleeves.

“You’re going to walk alone?” Donghyuck asks incredulously. “At night?”

“I’m taking the Cherokee.” He dangles Jeno’s keys in the air. Jeno scowls.

“Yeah, sure, Renjun! Of course you can borrow my Jeep. So glad you asked and that we respect each other enough to borrow each other’s things with permission.”

“You’re the sweetest!” Renjun chirps as he whisks out of his room to the sound of laughter.

But first, Renjun had to leave the parking lot to get to the library. Currently, he had made it to the other side of the campus, parking in the lots between the dining hall and the humanities building. Unfortunately for him, the wide lot was practically vacant and shrouded by trees on either side. He could see the library in the distance, shining mockingly.

“It’s literally a two-minute walk to the library,” Renjun says out loud to nobody in particular. “Nothing is gonna get me. The last time you thought someone was gonna get you it was just some freak and his cookies.”

Renjun huffs with finality, grabbing his backpack sitting in the passenger seat. He hauls it into his lap and takes one final look at the library before shutting off the ignition. He turns to open the door when he’s met with Jaemin standing outside the car, looking in.

Renjun, like a normal person, screams.

He clutches his chest in terror as Jaemin raises a brow from outside. Renjun uses the manual window crank and rolls it all the way down, giving Jaemin his famous glare.

“You have got to stop scaring people.”

Jaemin blinks, his amber eyes brilliant even in the shadows. He’s holding a Starbucks coffee. “But I was just standing here.”

“Exactly!” Renjun says with exasperation. “You can’t just stand and stare at people.”

“But you looked at me right when I looked at you. I wasn’t staring.”

Renjun cranks the window back up all the way, not breaking eye contact with the man. Jaemin didn’t seem to mind and he waited patiently as Renjun finished drawing it closed. He even opened the car door for him after he was done.

“You come to study?” Jaemin asks as Renjun steps out. He adjusts his bag with a nod and begins the walk to the building. And like before, Jaemin follows, eyes bright.

“Study, homework, the usual.”

“Mm.”

“What about you?”

“I came just for fun. I don’t study. Well- study often.”

Renjun falters, shaking his head, but then regains his footing. They’re already making their way up the wide, pale concrete steps. The library was probably Renjun’s favorite building on campus. Some famous alumni had invested in the university, his large donation going toward the knowledge tower.

The building had Ablackwood double doors, coated in a rich oaky stain. The neo-gothic structured building was meant to mimic eclectic revivals before Queen Victoria’s reign (his favorite fun fact to tell people). They even had crafters meticulously chisel a Mansard roof and lancet windows that were so sharp they could slice through the air.

The warmth of the library washes over him and Renjun’s grateful for the shudder that goes through him.

“And homework?”

“Already did it.”

“You already did the lab for Dr. Byrd?”

“I did it before she assigned it. It was on the syllabus.”

He and Jaemin swipe their student ID cards as they walk through the pillars. Renjun tries to take an inconspicuous glance at his picture– wondering if he would even show up if someone took a picture of him. He needed to get the strange man next to a mirror.

Jaemin holds up his ID in front of Renjun’s face. “Here you go.” He smiles brightly.

Renjun doesn’t say anything. Jaemin looks normal, his trademark toothy grin pressed into the plastic. He’s even wearing a university jacket in the photo.

“I thought you were trying to look at my picture.”

“I was,” he replies lamely in defeat.

He takes Renjun’s out of his hand swiftly, the boy not even noticing that he had even taken it. He holds it up in the dim light of the chandeliers.

“Cute!”

Renjun tries to hide the rising flush on his cheeks and he quickly snatches it. Jaemin obviously lets him, the man’s instincts far more heightened than his could ever be. Even the way he walked was…alert. Like he was noticing everyone, everything, all at once. Yet, he was still so casual. It made Renjun’s head hurt.

“You seem frustrated.”

Renjun looks up at him. Jaemin was a bit taller than he was. Renjun shoulders past him, his bag clutched tight as he scoured the lower level for a table. Quickly realizing there were none, he heads for the grand stairs.

“I’m fine,” he says. He thinks he is, anyway. Maybe.

Jaemin doesn’t even breathe heavily as he takes the stairs, unlike Renjun. He talks as he bounces up them without looking down.

“Your eyebrows always look like this–” Jaemin pushes them together, making an angry face– “and you’re always sighing.” He sighs for good measure.

‘You say ‘always’ as if you know me,” Renjun laughs, but not unkindly.

“I know you now, right?”

“Well, yeah, I guess.”

“See,” Jaemin beams.

“I think you just catch me at bad times. And you scare me every time I see you. So, you’re not really getting the full Renjun impact.” He sets his bag down on the table, pulling his stuff out and Jaemin easily slides into the mahogany chair in front of him, setting his drink down. Renjun eyes it with caution. It looks like a murky black sludge. Renjun imagines that if it could speak, it would hiss.

“What the fuck are you drinking?”

Jaemin glances down at his cup and twists it around for him to see. “Venti iced Americano, no ice and no water with four extra espresso shots.”

“How would you say your heart health is?”

“Normal. Whatever humans are supposed to be at.” He pauses, looking up at the stained glass ceiling. “I think.” Another pause. “Yeah, it sounds fine. Do you wanna try a drink?”

Renjun raises a brow in favor of ignoring him and starts up his computer, pulling out his notes. Jaemin reaches across the table takes them in his hands and tilts his head to the side, his ear almost touching his shoulder. He isn’t sure why he just lets him handle his things.

“Do you want the answers to these?” He gestures to the paper.

“You don’t have to.”

Jaemin shrugs and scans the surface for a pen. He plucks one from Renjun’s hand and begins writing on the sheet. Renjun can only smile and let himself fall into the steady rhythm of his work.

Jaemin doesn’t bother him for a while. He notices that he finished writing the answers for him a while ago– even noticing that he wrote additional notes and explanations on the margins.

He isn’t sure how their line between stranger and friendship had blurred so quickly. He supposes that it was because Jaemin didn’t seem to have boundaries and Renjun liked people that could make themselves comfortable in any situation. It helped Renjun with the stress of formalities and breaking whatever barrier that was between acquaintance and friend.

When it came to his own friend group, it had taken him no time to warm up to them as well. They were all similar to Jaemin in a way. Each had a severe lack of physical and emotional boundaries (Renjun must add a disclaimer that it’s a positive lack) with the other. Chenle and Donghyuck had no problem cozying up with him, tossing whatever limbs they had free onto him. Jisung and Jeno had always questioned Renjun about everything (Why don’t you like blue ink pens? Do you think Donghyuck is your soulmate? What’s your biggest fear?).

If Jaemin was comfortable talking to him, and if Renjun were too, what exactly was the issue?

Or, maybe Renjun was just insane as his friends and Jaemin, so he had no real outlook on what was conceived as normal in society.

He thinks he’s normal. At least he’s more normal than Jaemin.

Renjun glances up from his computer to find the boy staring at him. His eyes practically send shockwaves down his spine every time.

“Your phone is going off like crazy,” is all Jaemin says. Renjun glances down at his screen which keeps flashing with several messages.

bigdong: i see u made it alive to the library love u

chenle (maybe): you couldn’t have texted him outside of the gc?

bigdong: i know our pure love scares you because you’ve never felt the touch of a woman

chenle (maybe): i don’t even like women

ji: misogyny

chenle (maybe): you know damn well what i meant. not a single straight bone in your body either

ji: :D

markie poo: lol

jen <3: not sure why mark is laughing. the oppression women face in the workforce isn’t a joke

bigdong: mark don’t take the bait

markie poo: affirmative

huang renjun the 3rd duke of china: muting the gc. call if it’s an emergency. a real one. meso breaking up with jeno doesn’t count nor does donghyuck running out of hard seltzers

ji: did this guy really just say ‘nor’ LMFAO

jen <3: you’re speaking to the duke of china!

Renjun flips his phone down and shakes his head to focus back on his screen. He only had three more questions to go.

Jaemin sits patiently, now playing on his phone. It shouldn’t surprise him that Jaemin has a phone, but it does. He expected the boy to claim that he has an innate feeling of when people need to reach him. He wonders if he has an Instagram. What would he even post?

“Yes?” Jaemin asks, not looking up from his phone.

“What?”

“You’re staring.”

“Oh,” Renjun says dumbly.

“So you must have a question.”

Jaemin puts his phone down at looks at him expectantly. His eyes were kind as he leaned forward to rest his chin on his slender hands. Renjun unfortunately notices how large they really are. He could probably cover his entire face with one palm.

“Do I stare at you when I have a question?” “Most humans do,” Jaemin says with a shrug. He pulls a fucking cookie out.

“Humans,” Renjun repeats.

“Is that not what we are?”

“Some of us.”

Jaemin laughs, cheeks rounding cutely, biting into his cookie. “Are you insinuating that I’m not human because of my diet? I quite enjoy the occasional soda.”

“It’s not your diet,” Renjun says, chewing on the end of his pen. He points it at Jaemin who munches on his cookie innocently. “It’s you.”

Jaemin giggles and tilts his head. It kind of makes Renjun dizzy. “Do others think I’m not human?”

Renjun leans back into the stiff chair thoughtfully. “Probably.”

“I don’t focus on other people I guess,” Jaemin replies as equally insightful. He regards the stained glass carefully and his eyes scan the tall structures.

“Really?” Renjun says, his lips twitching to the side with a smile. “I feel like you notice everything and everyone.”

“I do, but that’s because they’re open books.” He leans forward again, going back to his original pose of resting his chin in his hand. “I don’t have to focus on someone to know what they’re thinking.”

“So you’re a mind reader.”

“Do I look like Edward Cullen?”

“You’ve seen Twilight?”

“Hasn’t everyone?” Jaemin asks, as if Renjun was the one getting questioned on his validity of being part of the human species.

“What am I thinking right now?”

“Now, you, I’m not quite sure what you’re thinking half of the time. I just kinda guess based on your expressions. You know, like a normal human reading context clues.”

Renjun laughs and Jaemin cracks a sharp grin. “Okay, smartass.”

Jaemin chews on his bottom lip as he scans Renjun’s face; his eyes flicker to his hands, his lips, and then to his eyes. The feeling comes back again. “You’re thinking about Donghyuck.”

Renjun bursts into laughter, not caring they were in the library. “Donghyuck? No way.”

“Isn’t he your boyfriend?”

Renjun stares at Jaemin in astonishment. “Oh, God. Do people think I’m dating him? Absolutely not. He’s just my best friend and roommate. Unfortunately.”

“Unfortunately? So you have feelings for him?”

This time Renjun chokes on nothing and he shakes his head vigorously. “Unfortunately in the sense that we are best friends and I willingly chose to live with the man.”

“I can’t tell if you enjoy having him as your friend,” Jaemin laughs, a grin stretching across his face, dimples appearing.

“I do,” Renjun sighs, fondly. “He’s just, you know, Donghyuck. He’s my best friend though, the best one I could ever ask for. The rest of my friends are great too. M’ really lucky to have them and all that sappy shit.” He gestures to Jaemin. “What about you?”

“All of my friends live in the woods. They can’t pass as a human so they don’t leave the thickets. It’s rather sad but I come home to them every night. Not to mention I grab a student for them to eat on the way home.”

Renjun gives Jaemin a look. “Not funny.”

“It kinda is.”

“For all I know you could be telling the truth and disguising it as some funny, haha, joke moment.”

“Do you think I would admit to murder?”

Renjun doesn’t say anything and Jaemin smiles. “You have a lot of teeth.”

“I have the normal human amount.”

“They’re really sharp.”

“I only eat cookies. I don’t gnaw on bones to wear them down.”

“So you’re Cookie Monster?”

“Who?”

“From Sesame Street.”

“Is that a children’s show based in America? I grew up in South Korea.”

“And I grew up in China and I still know.”

Jaemin takes the flash of the conversation with ease, firing back his answers just as quickly.

“You grew up in China? When did you move here?” Jaemin asks, voice piquing in interest.

“A long time ago,” Renjun says with a wave of his hand.

“That’s vague,” Jaemin notes. “But I’ll take it.”

“When did you move here?”

“Around fourteen. I came with my sister and parents.”

Renjun squints. “How old is your sister?”

“Now? She’s twenty-six, she’s almost exactly three years older than me.”

“Oh,” Renjun makes a hmph sound, turns out he and Jaemin were the same age. “We’re the same age.”

“I know.”

“Wh-“

Another razor-edged grin. “Kidding. I thought you might’ve been older than me.”

“Odd.”

“Is it really? You seem more…” Jaemin trails off. “Mature? Sensible? Like you wouldn’t jump off a bridge if someone asked.”

“Would you?”

“Probably, yeah.”

Renjun just shakes his head, focusing back on his work. Jaemin erupts into giggles.

Renjun doesn’t make it out of the library until 3:30 am.

“You’re scared to walk to your car aren’t you?”

“Technically not my car.”

A pause. Glowing eyes that crinkle, seeping into a sickeningly sweet smile.

“Yes.”

“Come on. I’m not scared of anything.”

Renjun is suspicious. For once in his life, he has a moment alone. The entire week– actually. And he isn’t sure if it’s a blessing or a curse, but he’s definitely leaning toward don’t question it, take advantage of the moment.

Donghyuck had been swamped with so many assignments that he willingly took himself to the library.

“I’m going to lock myself in a study room until I finish my essays. Don’t even let me out for food or water. I can piss in the corners.”

“Essays?” Jisung echoes back. “Multiple?”

“Multiple,” Donghyuck confirms miserably.

Chenle had managed to get ahead of his assignments and convince his professors to let him join on Zoom, as his parents were finally back home from their business trip. He’d never known Chenle to be the one to want to go home– he’d always come back in a sour mood after meeting with his parents. He wondered what was different this time. He’ll wrangle it out of Chenle eventually, even if that meant holding him down and threatening him in Chinese.

Jisung has been god knows where. He had barely texted the groupchat and he was the most active out of them all. Donghyuck had claimed one night, slowly pulling himself to his room from the floor like a worm, that Jisung was going through a “second puberty”.

Whatever that meant.

Same with Jeno. He hadn’t the faintest idea where he could’ve gone. He passed him once on the way to class and Jeno had been walking with his head down, face smushed into a political science book. Perhaps he was just as behind as Donghyuck.

That left Mark. Mark had been, well, Mark. He was the only one texting Renjun at the moment and it was always a Do you wanna grab boba and I have writers block

Mark has always been the easygoing one of the group. Renjun had mistakenly placed that role on Jisung but was quick to realize that Mark just never complained. He agreed with everything. He never had anything mean to say either.

(“He just never has much to say,” Donghyuck shrugs, cracking away at the peanuts in his mouth.

“Surely there’s more to it.”

“I mean, he talks, just not a lot. He’s content, A happy dude. Whatever ya wanna call it.”)

Renjun’s moments of silence allow him to bake cookies. Lots of them. While he could’ve done this with a full apartment, he’d rather not the get intense six-hour interrogation with a roleplay of Good Cop Bad Cop from Chenle and Jeno. Renjun already practices his answer.

“Um, because,” he says into the silence of his apartment. “Because I’m hungry.”

The ceiling fan whirrs.

“Really hungry. For fifty two cookies.”

He stares down at the baking sheets scattered around the apartment and he tells himself it’s not a big deal. That people make things for new friends because it’s the kind thing to do. Renjun was just the type of kind to bake cookies for Jaemin so he could bring him some to Chemistry. He’d even bought ziplock bags to stuff them inside so the boy didn’t have to put raw cookies in his (most likely) lint filled pockets. Who knew what the fuck else he hid in them.

“Knock knock,” a gentle voice calls from the door.

Renjun looks in hysteria at the cookies. Did they multiply? There’s flour on his face, fifty two cookies scattered on various surfaces– shelves, tables, chairs, Meso’s shrine–

Renjun hurriedly grabs a whole thing of cookies and begins to stuff them inside cabinets.

“Bro.”

Renjun turns to find Mark standing in the middle of the living room, the unmistakable to-go bag of boba in his hand.

“Bro,” he says again. “This is the worst case of munchies I’ve ever seen.”

“It’s–” he hesitates, “well..I dunno. Not munchies.” He sounds defeated.

Mark carefully steps over a mixing bowl and places the boba on the table. Even though he has to scoot a pan over. “Why did you make this many then?”

“They’re…”

Mark raises a brow. “Are you okay?”

“They’re for a friend.”

Mark makes an ahh sound and looks around the apartment, scanning the aftermath. “Some friend. They must be nice.”

“Kind of.”

Mark smiles and slips next to Renjun, looking at the current batch of cookies he was mixing up. He washes his hands and Renjun watches him curiously. Mark grabs an apron and turns to him.

“Let’s make cookies for your special friend.”

Mark doesn’t press Renjun anymore.

He just chats with him, carefully measuring ingredients and taking the time to reread the instructions several times. He even counts the chocolate chips.

“Just measure with your heart,” Renjun says before he dumps a chunk of chocolate in. Mark eyes his own bag and then seemingly makes up his mind. He dumps out seven chocolate chips, to be exact.

Renjun laughs and ruffles Mark’s flour-filled hair. “That’s your heart?”

The boy looks sheepish, a crooked smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “I suppose.”

“Just imagine Donghyuck,” Renjun says easily. He doesn’t think much of it, but apparently, Mark does. He ceases his mixing and looks at Renjun with wide eyes. Renjun does a double take from his own pressing of ingredients at the look that’s strumbled over the older boy’s features.

“What?”

“Why did you say Donghyuck?”

Renjun frowns, putting down his spoon. He turns to Mark cautiously, not wanting to make him feel bad necessarily, but to really look at him. “Aren’t you two really close?”

Mark looks down at the cookies and pivots away from Renjun, popping them in the oven. He doesn’t look at him as he speaks.

“You two are the ones that are best friends.”

“Yeah,” Renjun agrees, “but you’re one of his favorite people and he’s one of yours.”

“I guess.”

Renjun steps forward and taps Mark on the shoulder. “What happened?”

Mark still doesn’t look at him as he dances around the younger boy, searching for his next clean bowl. “Nothing?”

“You don’t sound so sure.”

“I promise that nothing happened.”

And Mark doesn’t lie. But that doesn’t necessarily mean he can’t withhold the truth. Renjun has known him for too long to not know that.

“What didn’t happen?”

Mark doesn’t say anything.

“Mark.”

Mark sighs, finally facing his body toward Renjun. “If I tell you something– do you...do you swear you won’t tell anyone?”

“Of course.” Renjun places a sticky hand over his own heart.

“Even if it’s about your best friend?”

“Unless he’s in danger, I swear.”

“No,” Mark shakes his head. “Nothing dangerous. It’s more so about me. Do you remember that night Jisung asked if Donghyuck and I were fucking?”

Renjun’s heart drops to his ass. “Oh my god, you two are fuc–”

“No!” Mark holds his hands up. “No. Not at all.”

“Oh,” Renjun deflates. “That’s not juicy.”

Mark chews on the bottom of his lip, teeth scraping over an already bloody spot. “Do you remember when he said that it would be gross if we were?”

Renjun thinks he’s following. Oh. “It hurt your feelings?”

“A lot.”

“And why would it hurt your feelings?”

“Why do you think.”

Renjun immediately feels fucking terrible. His chest does a strange pang at the look on Mark’s face and he pushes his baking madness to the back of his mind.

“Mark, I’m sorry. I had no clue you liked him.”

“It’s okay, really,” Mark replies kindly. He shrugs his shoulders. “I’m not sure why you’re apologizing though.”

“Because,” Renjun’s voice pitches higher in disbelief, “it’s a horrible feeling to hold something like that in. It must be hard– hard to put your feelings aside for your friendship.”

“Sometimes but I know it’s worth it if I get to keep all of us together. It would ruin things if it went bad and I don’t even wanna think about what would happen to our friend group.”

Renjun pauses, as he hadn’t thought about that either.

“If you like him, Mark, then you like him.”

“Liking someone like him isn’t simple,” is all Mark says, voice final.

And Renjun agrees. Some things aren’t meant to be simple.

The first thing he notices when he steps into chemistry is that Jaemin isn’t in class. Renjun doesn’t know if this is a common occurrence (only becoming aware of his existence a week ago) but the ziplock of chocolate chip cookies feels like they’re burning a hole through his bag. Students are still settling in, rapidly filling up the rows of seats. Renjun ponders for a moment then makes a split decision.

He takes one final look into the hallway to scan for Jaemin– and then makes his way up the stairs of the lecture hall, all the way to the back where Jaemin sits. They say curiosity killed the cat, but Renjun just wants to see what the boy doodles on the table, really. Nobody says anything, because they’re not in middle school, but he feels like a poser for taking the space.

The chairs next to him are completely empty, save for the person in front just a row down. The same person that handed Jaemin a pen without him verbally asking. He gently sets his bag down on the floor as he scans the desk, settling into the uncomfortable plastic.

And there’s nothing.

Renjun makes a face of confusion and leans in closer to get a better look. Nothing. He’s sure he must look crazy with his face to the table, arms at his side, but there was really nothing. Pen doesn’t just fade away, right? He can hear the faint start of Dr. Byrd starting the lecture, but he still continues to investigate. Renjun even peers under the table.

A weird, steady pressure on his thigh makes Renjun startle. Being completely engrossed in his what-the-fuck-happened investigation, the sudden feeling of human warmth touching him makes Renjun feel like he’s just jumped out of his skin. His mouth opens to scream–

A burning palm immediately cups his mouth and another wraps around the back of his head to anchor the impact. He’s faced with Jaemin.

“I knew you would freak out,” he whispers with a laugh.

Renjun’s eyes are wide and he shakes his grip off. “I thought you weren’t coming?” he whispers back in a hurry.

“Why?”

“You weren’t here yet and it was time for class!”

“Have you never been late before?” Jaemin inquires, a twinkle in his eyes.

“Yes,” Renjun hisses quietly, “but…I dunno. I just assumed.”

“I was feeling a bit sick and decided not to come. Then last minute I thought it might be better to just power through it,” Jaemin says, turning his chair to face the board instead of Renjun. He notices that his lashes sweep the apples of his cheeks and his jaw is softer than he imagined it would be from this angle. He has a sort of angelic look to him. For someone who felt like they were all jagged smiles and teeth, his actual features were delicate.

“You said you felt sick?”

Jaemin nods and leans in so that their whispers can be heard. “Headache, chills, all that good stuff.”

Renjun frowns and places a hand on Jaemin’s forehead. “You do feel warm– more than usual.”

For once, Jaemin seems like the startled one. His eyes momentarily widen and he gets a glazed look over his eyes at Renjun’s touch. Renjun had only realized what he’d done after the look on the boy’s face.

“Sorry,” he coughs uncomfortably.

“It’s fine,” Jaemin says softly, voice strange. He shakes his hair back out into place and smiles at Renjun. “Did you decide to join me for the rest of the semester?”

“No,” Renjun states immediately.

“So it was just a one-time thing?”

Instead of answering, Renjun opts to grab his backpack and pull out the ziplock bag of cookies. He dangles it in front of his face but it’s quickly snatched out of his hands and straight into Jaemin’s.

The boy scoots his seat closer to Renjun almost instantly and their arms are now squished together. “Huang Renjun,” Jaemin whispers enthusiastically, practically shoving his face into his. Renjun rears his head back to put space between them. Jaemin doesn’t appear to notice. “Did you make these?”

Renjun doesn’t know why he was so embarrassed. “Yea.” It sounds miserable coming out of his mouth.

Jaemin closes the gap he’d put between their faces and brings them closer together than last time. His eyes are a wicked color and the corners of his mouth are stretched into tiny points. His canines gleam.

“Do you have any more?”

“Some,” Renjun attempts to answer as casually as he can with the boy’s nose virtually touching his. Jaemin doesn't catch that he has no notion of physical space and that Renjun looks dazed at his fearlessness.

“How many more?”

“A lot. Now shoo, you’re sick and I don’t wanna get sick too.”

“Why would you get sick?” Jaemin asks curiously, still not leaning back.

Renjun places a hand on his chest and pushes, seating him back into his designated position. “Because of boy cooties.”

Renjun needs a lobotomy.

Because somehow, Na Jaemin is in his apartment, on his hands and knees looking underneath his desk.

Renjun watches from his bed, face impassive, as Jaemin turns his head so sharply that he’s practically looking upside down. Renjun’s hat with bunny ears is on his head.

(“Why do you have a bunny ear beanie?”

“Gag gift for my birthday. My friends say I’m like a bunny.

“My friends do too!”)

“Woah, you need to vacuum.” He coughs, then sniffles. From the time they had left class and gotten to Renjun’s apartment, Jaemin’s head had gotten stuffier and his voice, hoarse.

“Thanks. Also, you sound awful ”

Jaemin doesn’t seem to hear him and crawls out from underneath, scooting his body to examine Renjun’s shelf. He notices Meso and points. “You smoke?” He opens his bag of cookies and pops a whole one in his mouth. He’s all out.

“Sometimes. Do you?”

“I was once told I probably shouldn’t.”

Renjun thinks that makes sense. Jaemin high sounds like one of his personal sleep paralysis demons– he almost gets the chills thinking about it.

Jaemin scans the rest of his things with excited eyes. He gets up, steadily making his way around his room, sifting through various objects and clothing. He looks ridiculous in Renjun’s bunny hat; he had also acquired a hot pink feather boa around his neck somewhere along the way.

(“Why do you have this?”

“Valentine’s Day. Donghyuck wore it around the house in just his underwear in celebration.”)

And after a week of radio silence from everyone except for Mark, this is the time they all decided to show up. Arguably one of the worst– Renjun didn’t know how to really explain the intricacies of Na Jaemin, nor did he know how to explain how the man ended up in his apartment.

Chenle walks in first, announcing their visit rather loud, busting down his door with a– “Hope you’re not jerking because we’re coming in!” with a Jeno in tow behind him.

‘Oh,” Jeno says running into Chenle. They’re both standing in Jaemin’s doorway, confusion lining their features. “Who is this?”

Jaemin turns around from his snoop in Renjun’s closet and his eyes brighten when he sees the pair, lips turning up into a sunny smile.

“Oh, hi!”

“Hi,” Chenle replies cautiously. He diverts his attention to Renjun and speaks to him in prompt Chinese.

“Is this your cryptid boyfriend?”

“They’re speaking in Chinese. That’s never a good sign,” Jeno says walking up to Jaemin, settling in on top of the desk. “We typically call these moments post-Cold War treaty negotiations.”

“Not my boyfriend,” Renjun replies just as quickly.

“Is this the ‘special friend’ you were baking cookies for that Mark mentioned?”

“Not sure why Mark was mentioned,” Jeno says in a commentary for the boy, legs dangling off the desk. Jaemin just shrugs and hands the matching dog beanie to Jeno.

“I can’t believe him!” Renjun flops back on his bed and covers his eyes miserably, knowing his efforts of explaining himself were going to be futile. “It’s because Jaemin is my friend and he happens to like cookies. A lot.”

“Not sure why you were mentioned either,” Jeno stage whispers, puppy ears hanging off his head in a ridiculous fashion.

“So why is he at our apartment?”

“Because he’s my friend. Does it matter?”

“No. If you like him, we’ll like him.”

Renjun sits back up and narrows his eyes. “That was surprisingly sweet. Too sweet to be coming from you.”

“I’m just in a good mood,” Chenle says plopping down at the end of Renjun’s bed, wrangling one of his plushies into his arms. They stare at each other for a few beats too long.

“Even after visiting your parents?”

At that, Chenle just sighs. He leans against the wall by his bed. “We can talk about that later.”

“Mm,” Jeno says, lips twisting to the side. He tilts his body toward Jaemin like he’s telling him a secret. “Now they’re not yelling. One would think this is good, but this could actually be very, very bad.”

Renjun and Chenle quit conversing and turn to scowl at Jeno.

“I’ll kill you,” the younger boy deadpans.

“What did he say?” Jeno begs Renjun. “Please– I’m scared. Renjun-”

“He said he’s gonna kill you,” Jaemin says casually.

Renjun and Chenle immediately freeze in sweeping terror. They had never worried about what their conversations contained when they had switched languages. Nor had they feared that the people around them could understand what they were saying. Even their friends. (Donghyuck could say “There’s a raccoon in my toilet!” in Chinese, but Renjun isn’t sure where he even learned that. Chenle claimed he hadn’t taught him that either)

They watch as he wrinkles his nose and splits into a loud sneeze. There’s now a sickly red flush to Jaemin’s cheeks.

“You can speak in Chinese?” Renjun splutters. “What?”

“Oh–” Jaemin plops down to the floor, sitting crisscross on his shag rug. “No, I just assumed that’s what he had said. He looked…devious?”

“Well then,” Chenle says. “That scared me so bad my balls just shriveled up.”

“You would only be scared if you were talking shit,” Jeno says.

“We were.”

“About me?” Jaemin asks, curiously. He doesn’t look mad– just intrigued.

“Actually, about Renjun.”

“To his face?”

“You don’t know Chenle yet,” Renjun cuts in. “He’s quite forward.”

The younger boy just shrugs with a smile.

Mark, Jisung, and Donghyuck come in as a trio. Or, rather, they run in. The three boys are covered in sweat and Donghyuck is gripping Renjun’s doorway. Jeno and Chenle pause their movements and Jaemin just studies his nails, biting at them unbothered.

“Chenle messaged us and said you had a boy ov–” Donghyuck blurts before he freezes. “Oh.”

Renjun feels his face set aflame and he makes an impassive face at his best friend. The boy makes an embarrassed face, gritting his teeth together in apology with a wince.

“Hi!” Jaemin says cheerily, cutting into the tension obliviously. “I’ve already met you.”

“You have,” Donghyuck says carefully stepping in tow with Mark and Jisung. “You’re that cryptid guy.”

“That seems to be the consensus around here,” Jaemin says thoughtfully. Then– he splits into a smile.

“A cryptid? The one that Donghyuck swears is running around campus?” Jisung asks curiously.

Chenle scoffs. “Don’t you mean the one that you also swear is running around?”

Jisung immediately fires a glare at a shrinking Jeno.

Renjun is pleasantly surprised at how well his friends get along with Jaemin.

Even without being high like the rest of them, Jaemin slips into their conversations naturally and even lets them toss their bodies over him, cuddling him close. It wasn’t that he didn’t expect Jaemin to be one to indulge in skinship, it was that he didn’t expect to let people he barely knew to do it. But then again, maybe it shouldn’t surprise him after all.

Another thing Renjun can’t help but notice is that Jaemin is getting increasingly sicker. But he isn’t letting it stop his fun, because he enthusiastically agrees to Jisung’s suggestion of visiting their favorite dive bar. (“It’s dark which means we can’t just sit here! It’s a perfect Wednesday for getting shit-faced.”)

They’re packed in Jeno’s ‘99 and Renjun’s begrudgingly shoved against the window with a grumble. Jaemin’s on the other side, sniffling, his shoulder digging deep into his. Every time Donghyuck jostles on the other side of Jaemin, which is often, he’s being crammed up against the glass. (“Oh, look at that! There’s a little dog–”)

Despite Renjun and Donghyuck fighting across his lap, his smile never slips and he sits happily, practically in Renjun’s lap by the end of the ride.

“Why are you so warm?” Renjun quibbles. Jaemin’s ass is now on his thigh and he’s awkwardly situated facing him, his other arm around Donghyuck’s shoulders. It should be illegal how many people they managed to stuff inside Jeno’s jeep. Chenle gripes from the floorboards, whining that Mark’s feet smell like mayo.

How he manages to hear him over the loud thud of the speakers in the car is beyond him. But he does. The corners of Jaemin’s mouth quirk up sharply. “Just think of me as your personal space heater,” he says into his ear. “You’re always cold.”

Renjun’s lips can’t help but twist into their own smile.

The dive bar on the corner of Slade was located underneath the old stone winery, between the major alleys of midtown. He isn’t quite sure what the name of it is really called, as there wasn’t an advertisement for the place– nor parking. Most everyone just called it Slades.

Renjun stops Jaemin on the concrete stairs that lead to the basement, neon signs flickering across brick and the melted papers stuck to the walls. He pulls out another ziplock of cookies for him. The boy’s face is brighter than the electric green and blues around them and he gratefully takes the bag– not before Renjun holds it out of his grasp, clutching it to his chest.

“Promise me something.”

Jaemin doesn’t say anything but a singular brow arches.

“If you start to feel worse, tell me. We can leave whenever. Don’t let everyone keep you out because sometimes they don’t know when to stop.”

Jaemin grins. “I’m not that sick.” He coughs– his face slipping into betrayal of his own actions. Renjun laughs.

“Sure.”

Slades harbors a lot of college kids. Renjun had expected that locals be the main attendees for the slinky bar, but as time passed he noticed it was a majority of students from their university. Most of the bartenders were too, hoping to make a bit of side money through their achingly long semesters. Now, it’s still the same view. Molly is still keeping the Wednesday crowd occupied, skating flatliners across chipped oak and yelling “cash only!” over thudding music.

“You know,” Jaemin says navigating across the floor with Renjun to the table that holds the rest of their friends, “I’ve never been to Slades before.”

“Ever?” Renjun asks.

“I heard it was fun, just never went I guess.”

They slide into the run-down booth to find that Mark and Donghyuck are already debating ethics while the others vehemently disagree with whatever nonsense is coming out of their mouth. Chenle is the angriest and he rolls his eyes as he slams down a flatliner courtesy of Molly.

Ever since Mark’s confession in the kitchen, Renjun watches the two with a new set of eyes. Perhaps Mark had always been entranced by Donghyuck, but he had simply thought it was the admiration of his personality. The boy was a full set of sunrays, wicked sarcasm that had a bite to it, and gentle smiles. It is easy to love Donghyuck.

He observes as the younger golden boy laughs, tossing an arm over Mark’s shoulders, nuzzling into his face with his nose scrunched. But that was normal, that was just how he was. Donghyuck gave so much of himself out to others, that Renjun wasn’t sure how there were pieces of him left. He’d imagined that he had to glue stray fragments back together at the end of the night just to create the mosaic that he presented as himself the next day.

Renjun notes how Donghyuck’s knuckles trace Mark’s, running over the ridges and bumps of skin. The older boy looks over at him in question and Hyuck just smiles, using a finger to tap the end of his nose. Renjun looks around to see if any of his friends have noticed this exchange. Had it always been like this? Had Donghyuck always looked this in love with Mark too?

“Your friends never took you here?”

Jaemin shrugs. “They don’t like to leave the forest.”

“Haha,” Renjun says without humor.

“I feel like we just brush past this conversation and never actually have it,” says Jeno. “Are we ignoring that Jaemin is the thing that haunts campus?”

Jaemin, of course, takes this in good nature. “I’m going to need specifics.”

Donghyuck looks delighted that they’re diving into his favorite topic and he leans forward in excitement.

“Do you ever wonder why people don’t go through the nature reserve?”

“You and Renjunnie go through the nature reserve.”

Renjunnie. Renjun flushes.

“That’s different. We’re young and stupid— one would say, free. Doesn’t matter. What about the feeling people get when walking to class alone?”

“Paranoia?” Jaemin suggests.

Donghyuck scowls and Renjun covers up his smile behind a hand.

“Laugh all you want Renjunnie-“ great—“but you believe it too. You’re only smiling because you bagged a cryptid boyfriend.”

“Cryptid boyfriend? I’ve never been someone’s cryptid boyfriend,” Jaemin muses, looking over at Renjun. “Cute.”

“M’ not cute and you’re not funny. None of you.”

Chenle reaches across the oak and pinches Renjun’s cheek fondly. “But you are Renjunnie.”

Right. Nobody was going to let that one go.

“See?” Jaemin’s hand sneaks up the side of his jaw and gives it a quick brush before he also pinches the flesh with his thumb. “Cute.”

He bats his hand away furiously and rubs the skin that won’t seem to stop sparking.

The night gets swept under their feet and Renjun carefully teeters out of his seat, the shots of b-52 finally catching up to his body. Jaemin had chosen not to drink, but he was still having as much as the others seemed to be having. At one point, Jaemin and Jeno were enthusiastically dancing for the entirety of the bar– ass shaking and sliding down walls.

It’s cold as Renjun stumbles up the steps, gripping the wall as he navigates. He rubs his shoulders as he jogs the rest of the way up until he hits the night air outside. The alleyway is dense with grass and spindly trees. He can barely see the night sky from here. The only light comes from the windows, gold seeping out onto the glass-filled path.

The door is swinging open and Jaemin peers out with a sly smile. “What are you doing out here?”

“Did you follow me?” Renjun asks in amusement. He has a glint in his eye as he settles next to Renjun against the stone wall. A sturdy cough wracks his body.

“And if I did?”

“Creepy.”

“Or making sure you’re okay,” Jaemin shoots back. “You’re drunk.”

He must notice Renjun’s shivering, as he takes his hands in his own, holding them close to his mouth. The boy watches in a trance as Jaemin blows hot air onto his fingers, captured between warm palms.

“Not completely. Not drunk enough,” Renjun whispers, a bit dizzy.

“Usually when one says they’re not drunk enough, they are.”

Renjun scowls. “You talk like an old Victorian man. Also, you sound awful.”

“I feel awful,” Jaemin admits.

He’s still holding his hands and he has to admit that the boy is a space heater and the warmth radiating off him has chased away the chill that had been running through him for the last two hours at the bar.

“Why did you come if you were sick?”

“Because you were coming.”

Renjun isn’t sure why he finds himself flushing, cheeks turning a soft pink. “You could’ve come with us another time. Or, I could’ve stayed with you.”

Jaemin shrugs. “I didn’t know if there would be a next time.”

Renjun frowns. “Why not?”

The tip of Jaemin’s nose is the same color as Renjun’s cheek and he sniffles, another cough escaping his lungs. “I kinda invited myself to your apartment. Didn’t really know if you wanted me there, I guess.”

Jaemin seems honest. He says his truth with such confidence it almost has Renjun taken aback. Renjun has to sturdy himself with Jaemin’s strong hands holding him.

“I never know what you’re going to say,” is all Renjun says in return.

“Bad thing or good thing?”

“Both. I don’t like not knowing. But I also like that you’re unpredictable.”

“Sounds like you’re in quite the predicament.”

“Quite.”

“If it makes you feel any better,” Jaemin starts with a grin, “I never know what you’re going to say either.”

“Really?” Renjun asks with amusement. “I thought I was like the other open books that you claim to read easily.”

“Mm,” Jaemin replies. “I said that about you, didn’t I? I only said half the time. But I was lying.”

Renjun gives him his best unimpressed look, then breathes in deeply, falling into a sigh.

“Does that upset you?” Jaemin asks.

“No,” Renjun shakes his head. “I’m just trying to figure you out.”

“If you ask, I’ll answer.”

Jaemin splits into another cough and his warm hands slip away. Renjun immediately feels cold once more.

“You’ll answer anything? Honestly?”

A nod.

“Do you wanna head back to my place?”

“Yea.”

Having Jaemin back in his apartment feels wrong.

Yet, Jaemin looks like he fits right in. He doesn’t know why it feels that way. He supposes it could be because he was so used to the typical crowd of his friends, that someone new around makes him feel like he should’ve cleaned up better. Or maybe, opened a window to air out the heavy musk of weed that never seemed to leave the walls.

Donghyuck and the rest were still at Slades and they had happily bid the two farewell as they left, meeting their uber out on the busy downtown street. Renjun felt bad for leaving them but his lack of sobriety was beginning to pound through his head and Jaemin’s sickness had created a pit of anxiety in the bottom of his stomach.

“Renjun, I’m fine,” Jaemin says with a sickly sniffle from the bed.

(Renjun had refused to let Jaemin sleep on the rickety couch– too many springs had stuck through the cushions and it had seen far better days. And far too many bodies on it. Donghyuck’s bed was out of the question as he was very particular on who got to even touch it. Renjun, his fucking best friend, didn’t even have permission. He had worried that Jaemin would feel weirded out that he insisted that they could just sleep in his room. But the boy had been fucking gleeful.

Jaemin had made a weird noise– a screech– and belly flopped onto Renjun’s bed, body being engulfed by his plushies and thick blankets.

“I’ve never had a sleepover!” His shout is muffled by pillows.)

Renjun’s desk chair is pushed up to the bed as Jaemin sits straight up, legs danging over the side. He makes a tsk sound as Jaemin wrinkles his nose at Renjun’s hand on his forehead.

“You need to take medicine.”

“I hate to tell you this, but I never take medication.”

Renjun pauses. “Not even Tylenol?”

“Is that a pain medication?”

Renjun stares at him blankly before wheeling back to his desk and hauling his medicine bag back to the bed. Jaemin watches curiously through thick lashes. He looks down at him with an expression that makes his stomach do an odd flip. He chooses to ignore the pressing stare of the boy.

“I’m about to change your life.” He pulls out Sudafed.

“Cryptids can’t take medicine,” he quickly objects.

“Ha,” Renjun presses out unamused. “Open up.”

“What if I die?”

“I’ll speak at your funeral.”

“They won’t allow humans.”

“You know, I’m beginning to actually think you are the thing that’s haunting this campus.”

Jaemin doesn’t say anything. He begrudgingly takes the medicine and swallows it down with the water he grabbed for Renjun from the vending machine outside the bar.

Seeing Jaemin fall into a pout was somewhat funny to Renjun, as he never imagined Jaemin upset with anything. His face must’ve gave him away because Jaemin looks up at him with mild annoyance.

“Glad to see that this amuses you.”

Renjun gives him a smug look and stands up to wheel his chair back. His legs wobble a bit, still sobering up, and Jaemin’s hand shoots out to steady him by the waist. Renjun is now looking down at him and he pats the top of his head with a small smile.

“It’s funny seeing the Na Jaemin annoyed.”

Jaemin’s annoyance slips away for a second and he carefully removes his hand from his waist.

“Well, if it makes you happy.”

Renjun is soon flicking the lights off and crawling up next to Jaemin in his room. The hazy streetlight outside his window had always irritated him, casting light into a room that he wished were dark. But now, he’s grateful for the white glow that illuminates his floors and Jaemin’s face next to him. It’s easier to read Jaemin when he could see every flicker of his eyes.

It should feel awkward, but it doesn’t. It might be the liquid courage. Renjun isn’t sure.

Jaemin is in Renjun’s sweatpants and hoodie, the material not quite fitting him correctly. Renjun was…short.

“You know,” Jaemin says into the night silence, “Donghyuck and Mark definitely have a thing for each other.”

Renjun’s breath catches and he doesn’t say anything. After a few beats too long, he just says–

“Really?”

Jaemin turns on his side to face Renjun. He feels like they’re little kids swapping secrets and gossip during a sleepover. His lashes sweep the tops of his cheeks and he props his head up on his hand. “You’re Donghyuck’s best friend. You mean to tell me he’s never said anything?”

Renjun fidgets uncomfortably and he looks at the ceiling to avoid Jaemin’s heated gaze. “No, Donghyuck never has. I think he would tell me.”

“Mark hasn’t said anything?”

“Nope.”

He’s brave enough to look over at Jaemin– who looks very unimpressed. “You’re a bad liar.”

Renjun’s hands slap over his own eyes and he groans.

“Ah,” Jaemin says slowly. “You’re bound by oath.”

“Practically,” he muffles through his hands.

He feels Jaemin’s slender fingers pry his own apart from his face, peering down at him.

“You look creepy as fuck right now.”

“Thanks. Tell me who said they had feelings.”

“You’re a little gossiper, aren’t you,” Renjun shoots out.

“I’m incredibly nosy. Spill.”

“I’m bound by oath!”

“It had to be Mark,” Jaemin says to nobody in particular. He goes back to laying on his side and propping his head up. Renjun takes his hands off from over his eyes and he sighs.

“Let’s say that one of them hypothetically did say something.”

“Hypothetically,” Jaemin repeats. He tosses his leg over Renjun’s and he tries to keep his brain from fogging up. Jaemin is so warm.

“They don’t know how the other person feels. They also don’t want to jeopardize the friendship and everyone in general.”

Jaemin chews on his bottom lip thoughtfully before saying anything. “If you liked someone in the friend group, would you tell them?” It’s a genuine question.

Renjun doesn’t know. He’s thought about Mark’s situation tirelessly ever since they had talked in the kitchen. A part of him completely understands why Mark refused to tell the other boy, why he had kept something as fragile as this in. The other side of him also acknowledges that it could change things in their circle.

“I dunno. Maybe.”

Jaemin gives him a soft smile. Any sharpness that he usually harbored was gone. “Renjun, you don’t strike me as someone who really takes risks.”

Renjun smiles back at him in the dim light of the bedroom. “Not really.”

“The unknown.”

“Exactly.”

“Would you for love?” Jaemin inquires, tilting his head on his hand. The silk of his hair falls over his brows with the motion.

“How bad do I want this?”

“Enough.”

“Then yes, I would take the risk. Would you?”

“Obviously love is complicated.” Jaemin pokes the exposed skin of his knee with his free hand. His fingers trace the swell of the bone as he speaks and Renjun forces himself to focus on anything besides the feeling of his hands. “But if I like someone, why not take the risk? Don’t you think life is too short to always sit on the ‘what if’?”

“Sure,” Renjun shrugs. “But if it could change everything as I know it? I dunno if I would want that. I would have to be sure if they’re the right one, and even then, nobody knows if someone is ever the right one.”

Jaemin looks up at him in question. “Are you saying you don’t believe in love?”

“Not exactly. It’s hard to explain– I just think people can’t ever claim they’ve met ‘the one’ because there’s no such thing. I mean, look at couples that split after years of being together, after starting an entire life together.”

“Maybe they were ‘the one’ at the time. Think about couples that do end up spending their entire life together. They happened to find ‘the one’ for the rest of their life.”

Well, Renjun hadn’t thought of it like that.

“That just seems like they’re playing a game of chance when it comes to love, then.”

Jaemin smiles. “That’s the whole point. Love is all about the risk. The risk of not knowing if they’re your ‘forever’, essentially. There are two endings; staying or leaving.”

Renjun scoffs, but it’s not unkindly. If anything, it’s a scoff of disbelief. “And isn’t that terrifying? Either you end up together or you don’t.”

Jaemin plays with the end of Renjun’s shorts, the material between his thumb and pointer finger. He regards it like it’s the most interesting thing in his line of sight. “But it’s worth it.”

Renjun sighs. “I must sound cynical.”

“I would call you a realist,” Jaemin says kindly, gently. “You weigh your options like most humans do.”

“There you go with ‘humans’ again.”

Jaemin grins. His attention suddenly diverts to something else.

“Do you have any cookies?”

“It’s sleepy time.”

Jaemin giggles. “Did you just say sleepy time?”

“Yes. That means go to bed.”

“But– Renjunnie. Cookies.”

“You’re sick.”

“And hungry. I might die of fever if I don’t eat. You don’t want me to perish do you? Look–” he grabs Renjun’s hand and presses it over his heart. It thuds erratically. “I’m dying.”

Renjun yanks his hand away. “You’re dramatic.”

“Junnie…the light…it’s beautiful.”

“Jesus Christ–”

“Yes, I can see him…”

It doesn’t take long for the boy to sniff out the rest of the stash. Renjun is sitting on the counter as Jaemin roots through the fridge and cabinets, swearing that he “smells something amazing.” Renjun raises a brow as Jaemin triumphantly holds up another bag of cookies. The only light in the room comes from the dim refrigerator light.

“Is that all you eat?”

“Besides the casual human heart? Yes.”

Renjun flops a bag of pasta between his hands that Jaemin had carelessly left strewn on the counter in his search. He looks up at him with a smile. “I have a feeling it’s because you don’t know how to cook.”

Jaemin busies himself as he finds the rest of the minibags of cookies. “Did you make these for me?”

“Answer the question.”

“Mm, I believe you made a statement, not a question,” Jaemin bounces back.

“Jaemin.”

“Answer my question then.”

“Fine. Yes, I made them all for you.”

Jaemin stops searching and he looks back at Renjun with surprise.

Renjun rolls his eyes in irritation. “Why are you surprised at the answer that you already seemed to know?”

“It was a joke,” Jaemin says, voice odd. “I didn’t think you had possibly made all of this for me just because I like cookies.”

“Oh,” Renjun says dumbly. “Well.”

“Why?”

Renjun knows what he’s asking but right now, the urge to run away is so strong he has to grip the edge of the counter he’s sitting at. He tried to think of a million different ways to distract the boy so that they could forget he ever said anything.

“You never answered my question.”

“No I can’t cook,” Jaemin says impatiently, voice hurried. “So why?”

“Because it’s nice to do things for your friends.”

“Friends,” Jaemin repeats back.

Why was Renjun nervous? It was true, he had only made him the treat because they were friends.

“You’re so normal when you’re sick,” Renjun blurts.

Jaemin shakes his head from the whiplash of the conversation. “I don’t understand you. Sometimes I think I do and then you take the rug right out from underneath my feet.”

“No really, it’s scary. I need you to be a freak again.”

“Oh, I’m definitely a freak.”

A heavy pause. Renjun’s feet no longer swing from his perch on the counter and he raises a brow. Jaemin looks perfectly nonchalant.

“You don’t mean what I think you mean.”

“Find out,” Jaemin shoots out, dropping a whole cookie into his mouth– much like a predatory bird. Dinosaur bird? Bird dinosaur?

“Jaemin.”

“So you don’t want to be friends with benefits?” He munches on the cookie, head tilted curiously. But, he has that look on his face. “What? I thought you wanted me to be a freak again.”

“Not a sex freak!”

“I think you’ll find that if you make a Venn diagram, there is quite a bit of overlap.” He draws out two large circles in the air (Renjun is surprised that sparkles aren’t appearing with the invisible motion- like he’s in a Disney Channel Original) and he points to each shape. “Freaks. Sex Freaks.” He then points to the middle. “Me.”

Renjun splutters.

“This is a bit sudden don’t you think?”

Jaemin shrugs. “You’re the one who courted me with cookies. Lots of them.”

They can’t seriously be talking about this right? Jaemin was weird– he was probably joking anyway.

“You think you’re so funny.” Renjun hops off the counter and brushes past him to escape to his room. “Just finish eating and come back to bed.”

And when Jaemin crawls back underneath the sheets of Renjun’s too-cramped bed, he tries to hide the shiver that wracks his body.

“Oh. Fucking gross.”

Renjun’s eyes flutter open to find his best friend in the doorway of his room, hair disheveled and under eye bags dark. Donghyuck wrinkles his nose and steps away from the door as he holds a palm out.

A warm body stirs next to him and he belatedly remembers that it is in fact Jaemin who’s sleeping next to him. His nose is tucked into Renjun’s shoulder and his spindly legs are tossed over his.

An equally hung-over Jisung peers over Donghyuck’s shoulder and he too wrinkles his nose. Jisung looks like hell– dark eyebags underneath his bloodshot eyes.

“Y’all look like hell. Like, you both look sick,” his best friend says. Renjun groans and realizes that yes, he indeed, does feel like absolute shit. He wonders if a train somehow ran them over in their deep sick-induced slumber.

“So does Jisung,” Renjun croaks. Jisung looks at Renjun in shock, a sudden slip of nervousness sliding over his features. Renjun furrows his brows in confusion, also still trying to process the fact that he’d only been awake for a few moments.

“Jisungie always looks like this,” Donghyuck says with a jerk of his thumb toward the boy behind him. “You on the other hand.”

Whatever.

Jaemin sits up first and a cough wracks his body. Jisung jumps back and grabs Donghyuck’s arm, pulling him with him.

“Ew, ew, ew, ew!”

“Grow up!’ Renjun wheezes out. He tugs the blanket back up over his body and looks up at Jaemin who is still looking around cluelessly. It takes the boy a moment to remember that he’s at Renjun’s and he shakes his head quickly as he glances around the room.

“Did I get you sick?”

“What do you think,” Renjun groans miserably. He rolls over on his side and curls up. He feels like fucking death.

Donghyuck comes back into view with a mask on and a bag over his shoulder. He points at the two boys wrapped up in bed. “I’m leaving and staying with Mark and Jeno.” He leaves in a flurry. He also makes them promise to quarantine themselves and then deep clean the apartment. Renjun protests because they had never once “deep cleaned” and Donghyuck was just using them for free labor.

chenle (maybe): heard you were sick and holed up with nana

renjunnie: who the fuck is nana

chenle (maybe): jaemin duh

Renjun looks up from his phone. He watches the boy suspiciously as he sits on the bed with him, pouring over a textbook that he had cracked open earlier. His face is unreadable as he scans the words and scribbles notes in the corner.

“I thought you didn’t study,” Renjun croaks casually, sipping on the honey tea Jaemin made for them. It taste sweet and soothes his throat– it was so good that Renjun had to examine the cup he was drinking out of.

“That’s chemistry. This is literature.”

“You’re not good at literature.”

Jaemin hums. “I’m more science brained.”

Renjun finds amusement in this. Jaemin looks up at him curiously and tilts his head. “I’m assuming literature is your specialty?”

Renjun tries to shrug nonchalantly and as humbly as he can. “Possibly.”

He really does try not to stare at the boy as they carry on. It was just that he and Jaemin were so–comfortable and it felt like it was normal for him to be here in his apartment, studying. And he found that he didn’t dread the idea of being holed up with a sick Jaemin for the next day or two. Jaemin hadn’t even complained either, he just stated that he was glad he had brought all of his stuff with him.

“Chenle called you Nana,” he says. Jaemin continues his studying, chin propped up on one hand. His eyes don’t budge from the words.

“Mhm.”

chenle (maybe): hello???

renjunnie: what???

chenle (maybe): you never responded

renjunnie: what am i supposed to say that

chenle (maybe): idk lol

“Where did the nickname Nana come from?”

Jaemin looks up finally and Renjun almost forgot how striking his eyes were. It would still take some getting used to.

“Chenle actually gave it to me last night. It’s cute, right?”

Renjun doesn’t understand why he feels a flare of jealousy shift up his spine. He shrugs it off and looks back down at his phone. “It’s okay.”

“Just okay?” Jaemin asks– Renjun hates that he can hear the amusement laced between syllables.

renjunnie: you’re a bastard

chenle (maybe): what the fuck

Then suddenly Jaemin is in his space.

Renjun veers back, dropping his phone on the bed from being startled. “You’re like a freak gazelle.”

“Who ya texting?” The boy grabs his phone, scrolling through his and Chenle’s texts. Renjun screeches and snatches it back out of his hands, holding it close to his chest.

“Were you raised in a barn? Where are your manners?”

“You were looking at your phone with a funny face. Like this–” Jaemin screws his face up in a pout and pushes his eyebrows together in exaggeration.

Renjun’s face remains impassive. “Go study.”

“Are you mad at Chenle for calling me Nana?”

“What?”

“It’s okay if you are. It’s kinda cute that you’re jealous.”

“Why would I be jealous?”

“Because I’m charming, beautiful, always have a smile, and willing to give strangers the clothes off my back?”

“You can be all of that and still not someone I want.”

Jaemin looks miffed. “What would make you want me? If I were a girl?”

Renjun can’t help it, but he bursts into laughter, a wheeze so abrupt that it pushes another wracking cough out of him. “Me? Wanting a girl?”

Jaemin has the decency to look momentarily embarrassed, a sheepish smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“Donghyuck says that I’m in a glass closet. And he’s a gutless bottom,” Renjun coughs out, still giggling between breaths.

Jaemin’s cheeks turn a bright shade of pink and he immediately turns back to studying, finding a sudden interest in the pages that were just boring him out of his mind moments ago.

“Are you embarrassed?” Renjun asks with amusement. Now that he was in Jaemin’s shoes of putting someone in mortifying situations, he realized that it was quite fun to fluster someone like him.

The boy just turns the textbook page (he most definitely did not read it) and nonchalantly scans the words. “Mmm, no.”

“I think you are. A tiny bit.” Renjun laughs, voice teasing. “You can’t tell me that you didn’t know I was gay.”

“I did but–” Jaemin cuts off. “I don’t know,” he huffs with exasperation.

“You’re being so weird right now,” he giggles. “But I guess you’re always weird.”

“I guess I just needed confirmation.”

Renjun tilts his head and Jaemin looks anywhere but him. “Are you…?”

“Bisexual.”

Renjun doesn’t know why it sends a shiver down his spine. He had realized that he didn’t even know who or what Jaemin liked until now, realized that he wanted to know– realized that maybe he needed confirmation too. Realized that it made him excited. His glee is cut short when the sound of another text reverberates in his hand–

chenle (maybe): btw when you get a moment we need to talk

renjunnie: ?

Renjun frowns at his phone and anxiously waits for the boy to text back. Chenle wasn’t serious about many things, in fact, he had often had to beg the other to just be real for one moment.

“Is that okay?”

Renjun’s head snaps up. “What?” He belatedly realizes that he hadn’t acknowledged Jaemin’s statement and had ignored him in favor of his phone.

“Oh–! Yes, I’m so sorry. Chenle sent me this text and it was– never mind. Of course, that’s okay.”

Jaemin gives him a quick shy smile and then diverts his attention back to the phone in Renjun’s hand. “Is he okay?”

And, Chenle was a bit hard to explain. In the sense that Chenle was always okay, even if it wasn’t true. The boy had often pretended that he didn’t care what anyone thought or said, but Renjun knew better. He knew Chenle; he knew that his trips back home to China always brought about days of depression and sour bites of attitude. He knew that Chenle hadn’t even looked at boys or girls while they were out. It was something he didn’t allow himself.

Chenle would come back from China and refuse to speak in Korean, only wanting to talk to Renjun– even if he never told him what was wrong. He wouldn’t even acknowledge the lockdown that he had gone through, just suddenly picking Korean back up, bickering with their friends as if it were all a dream.

(Jisung had asked Renjun once, curiously trying to crack open someone like Chenle.

“Chenle…” Jisung had trailed, kicking invisible rocks on the sidewalk as they walked downtown. “He’s gonna be okay, right?”

“He always is,” Renjun replied easily. They passed several little shops, ivy forcing itself through the stone and wood. The younger boy had chewed on the bottom of his lip, pressing the skin in a feverish worry.

“I’m just scared that he won’t be.”)

Jaemin closes his textbook and plops down in the spinning chair at Renjun’s desk. He perches himself like a cat and rests his chin on his knee, watching Renjun struggle to find an answer to the question that he had posed. Was Chenle okay? Of course he was, now. Is Chenle okay when he leaves for China? No.

Renjun nods. “He always is.”

“Chenle’s a lot like you, isn’t he?” Jaemin inquires. Renjun can’t help but frown in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“Actually,” Jaemin says perking up suddenly, “maybe I shouldn’t impose myself on this matter.”

“Stop talking like an old Victorian man.”

“Just think about it,” is all Jaemin says, whisking himself out of the room. Renjun gets up to follow after him, hurriedly tracing his footsteps.

“Hey- what does that mean!’

Jaemin only laughs as he practically spins into the kitchen, opening a cabinet door. He finds another ziplock bag of cookies and roots around to the bottom. Renjun goes to snatch the bag out of his hand but Jaemin lifts the ziplock up out of reach with ease, dangling it high above his head.

“Did I ever tell you that I find you incredibly fucking annoying?”

Jaemin smiles, all teeth. “But you don’t.”

“I do. You never answer my questions.”

Jaemin still holds the clear plastic over his head as he uses his free arm to wrap around Rejun’s waist, pulling him close to his body.

Now, Renjun understands that he has choices in his life. He knows these choices are quite similar to Donghyuck’s philosophy of ‘three moments’. But whenever Renjun needed to make these important choices, it was as if all rationality had slipped out the window and into the open air. Renjun wished he were someone who could make a choice, but often, his heart makes them for him.

Jaemin is a space-heater warm, tone, and everything that makes Renjun’s heart thud into his throat. Being this close to him shouldn’t make him feel this way. Wasn’t he just in Renjun’s lap last night, stuffed in the back of Jeno’s 99, face tucked into his shoulder? Wasn’t he just in Renjun’s bed, long legs tossed over his?

He notes that Jaemin’s lips are a dark pink, a shade above the sickly flush on his cheeks. His teeth are an unnatural white, stick straight perfect rows. Renjun doesn’t say anything.

“Did I not say you could ask me anything?”

His nose is like a cute little button. His lashes are dark and sweeping. He’s beautiful.

Jaemin sighs at the lack of Renjun’s response, knocking him out of his ‘Jaemin Study’. “Are you just going look at every feature on my face or are you going to ask a question?”

“Huh?” he says dumbly.

Jaemin just stares. Renjun notices that the bag of cookies above his head is still dangling; Jaemin follows his gaze and smiles. He looks back down at him, eyes a wicked gold.

“Ask me a question and I’ll answer.”

“What did you mean by the Chenle comment?”

“No,” Jaemin huffs. “Not that question.”

“But you said–”

“Renjun,” the boy says quietly.

Renjun goes quiet, heart still thudding in his throat.

“Ask the right question.”

And because Renjun is– well, Renjun, he just says a brilliant– “Huh?”

Jaemin has this funny look on his face but he figures that the situation isn’t actually that funny. The boy drops the cookies to his level and opens the bag, cradling them into the palms of Renjun’s hands.

“For you,” Jaemin says softly, with a half smile.

As he takes the bag, Renjun can’t help but feel like he missed something important.

Minnie <3: haiiii ＼(≧▽≦)／

Junnie Bug <3: i’m assuming minnie is jaemin

Minnie <3 <3: hehehehehe

Minnie <3: isn’t it cute? Ur junnie bug in my phone

Minnie <3: and only you can call me minnie!

“Missing lover boy already?”

Chenle is hanging upside down from the couch cushions, feet dangling in the face of Jeno next to him. Renjun tries to ignore him but it’s hard to block the pestering when it’s Chenle of all fucking people.

Minnie <3: do you still feel sick

Junnie Bug <3: no

Minnie <3: would it kill you to use cute emojis? (─‿‿─)♡

Minnie <3: (♡˙︶˙♡)

Minnie <3: that one reminds me of you lol

Junnie Bug <3: ↑_(ΦwΦ)Ψ

Minnie <3: oh um

Minnie <3: hahaha it kinda looks like me (╥﹏╥)

“You’re texting him aren’t you?”

“No,” Renjun says quickly (too quick), clicking off the screen. Jeno smiles from the couch, a devious tug of his lips quirking up.

“What’s so funny to you?” Renjun accuses. Jeno’s grin is wiped off his face and Chenle sighs.

“When are you gonna tell us the details?”

“What details?”

The younger boy sits up, hair flopping cartoonishly. “Don’t play dumb. The sex details.”

“Huh?”

Minnie <3: wyd

Junnie Bug <3: busy rn

Minnie <3: okai (｡•́︿•̀｡)

Junnie Bug <3: busy defending my HONOR

Minnie <3: well you are the third duke of china

Junnie Bug <3: how do you know about that

“Renjun.” He’s hit in the head by a sudden couch pillow, smacking him directly in the face. Renjun tosses it off him angrily, aiming for Chenle– who dodges, putting Jeno in the direct path.

The cushion makes a thick thump sound and reveals a very annoyed Jeno. Chenle splits into a heinous laughing fit.

“There aren’t any sex details.”

“Right. So you just hung out for two days in a house all alone?”

“Yes because we’re just friends.”

Jeno snorts. “Are you dumb, Renjun?”

Renjun splutters– “Hello?”

Jeno gets up with a scowl, picking up Meso as he made his way into the dining area. He turns around to point at him with his free hand. “Jaemin obviously likes you and you’re doing that thing.”

“What thing?”

“The thing,” Chenle confirms. “Jeno, unfortunately, you must know that the Thing is terminal for Renjun.”

“That’s too bad. Jaemin is too pretty to be single for too long.”

Chenle glances over at Renjun with Jeno’s words, a smile slipping over his features. Renjun feels a deep sudden surge of pure annoyance and he narrows his eyes.

“Don’t say that.”

“Say what?” Jeno says, laughing. “That Minnie is too pretty? That someone else is gonna snatch him up? It’s true.”

Chenle whistles and gets up, making his way over to Jeno. He wraps his arms around Jeno, pulling him into a close hug. The boy looks between Renjun and Chenle with confusion, eyes wide.

“I’m gonna miss you so much Jeno.” Chenle’s words are muffled into the material of his sweatshirt.

“Why?”

“Because you just signed your death certificate. Renjun is going to kill you in cold blood. You were so young, too.” Jeno pries the younger Chinese boy off him as if he were gum stuck to a shoe, carefully picking off the fingers wrapped around his biceps.

“Nobody is dying,” Renjun scowls. He looks down at his lockscreen– it’s one Jaemin set for him, probably around the same time he put his number in Renjun’s phone. It's a picture of Jaemin doing kissy lips and a peace sign, freakish amber eyes glowing in the sun of the apartment. He’s wearing the infamous Donghyuck Valentine’s Day hot pink feather boa.

Chenle looks up at the ceiling with curious eyes, like he was conjuring his next words from thin air. “Well, you know, Nana is very, very pretty.” He makes a point to direct his words to Renjun.

“I know what you’re doing,” Renjun says in Chinese. Jeno makes a noise of frustration and separates himself from the conversation. He picks up his backpack off the table and swings it over his shoulders swiftly.

“I’m going to class. Have fun in Chinese. Or whatever y’all do.”

“That doesn’t make any sense!” Chenle protests. Jeno ignores him and flips him off as he’s closing the door.

“By the way,” Jeno says, “can someone check on Jisung? He’s been weird. Weirder than you two recently. And that’s saying something.”

The younger boy turns to him defeated, shrugging as Jeno disappears. “Jeno can be so annoying.”

Renjun makes a humph sound and turns his attention back to his phone. Chenle peers over his shoulder curiously, eyes lighting up at the sight of Renjun’s lockscreen.

“Oh, you’ve got it bad. Like horrendous. You’re screwed.”

“What is it that you wanted to talk about?” Renjun shoots out immediately, hoping that it’s enough to persuade the boy into a different direction of conversation. It seems to work, but not in the way Renjun had wanted. He watches as Chenle’s face falls, body closing in on itself.

“Nothing important.”

He says it in Chinese.

“You know,” Renjun starts, “you switch to Chinese whenever you’re upset.”

“It’s not important anymore,” Chenle says, voice honest.

“But it was before,” Renjun replies easily. He gestures for Chenle to sit back down on the couch and the boy listens, even if he walked over hesitantly. He always listened to Renjun. The rest of their friends always seemed to be in awe that Renjun was able to wrangle Chenle into being docile.

“Lele.”

Chenle pulls his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs. Renjun felt a twinge in his chest at the sight. This wasn’t just something ‘not important’, this was something that was digging underneath his skin, under the rigid exterior that Chenle had worked so hard to build.

“It’s...” the younger boy trails, “--Junnie, I messed up really bad.” Junnie. “And I don’t know how to fix it this time.”

“Does it involve your parents?”

Chenle hesitates. “Partially.”

Renjun thinks back to Jeno’s words about Jisung– thinks back to the night after Slades, a nervous Jisung in his doorway. He frowns. There was no way it involved the other boy, as Renjun couldn’t think of how it could.

“Who or what is the other part?”

Another pause. “A boy.”

“Jisung?” Renjun asks, in a half-hearted attempt to get Chenle to spill more. He hadn’t expected it to be true, or for Chenle to react. But he does.

“Yeah,” the boy says miserably. “God, was it really that obvious?” Chenle groans, dropping his head between his knees that are pulled up to his chest; he shakes his head as if he were shaking the thoughts out.

Renjun falters. “Huh? Wait– Chenle, what?”

“I confessed to him, Renjun. I straight up told him that I had liked him for years now and apparently I was so drunk I don’t fucking remember!”

Renjun feels his eyes go wide and he sits completely still. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” Chenle repeats. “This was all because my family finally set me off and I just needed to get trashed at Slades to take my mind off it, off everything. But I drank so much and I guess I just spilled. God! This– this is why I can’t drink.”

Renjun finds that he’s still trying to process the fact that Chenle liked Jisung, the fact that Chenle had liked Jisung for so long. He tries to think back to any moments between the two but he comes up completely blank. It wasn’t like Mark with Donghyuck, a blaring love confession in violet hued explosions. This was silent, a real oath of mute.

“What happened with your parents?” Renjun presses, trying to extract the full story.

Chenle laughs, but clearly, it’s not funny. “I’m out of the inheritance. Like, gone. I don’t even get access to the connections I was gonna get when I graduated.”

Renjun feels himself recoil. “What, why?”

“Cause m’ gay. I mean, they’ve known, I didn’t exactly keep it a secret. But I didn’t change my mind like they expected so I’m done for.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that,” he confirms. “And I’m not going to just ‘take it back’ or what the fuck ever they want. But now I feel like I could’ve just lied or something. At least to keep myself in the inheritance. Now I’m practically blacklisted.”

“Chenle- you shouldn’t have to lie.”

“No, but it isn’t always that easy.”

And it’s not. Renjun’s family just didn’t care. If that was the right word. His parents weren’t too pleased but they didn’t treat him any different. He knew that Chenle had mentioned his parents took the news hard but he hadn’t told him that it was a life changing issue.

Everyone knew that Chenle was only in America to escape his parents and make them happy at the same time. He didn’t know the exact situation of where they stood with the inheritance and opportunities for him back in his home country, but the friend group knew that Chenle’s family was important. Only Renjun was fully aware of the impact of the Zhong’s influence in China. He grew up hearing about the family.

He didn’t know if the friend group knew that Chenle was the grandson of billionaires, though. He had just told the others that Chenle was very…blessed.

(Donghyuck told the others one night, all holed up in Renjun’s room, Chenle at the library- that he had accidentally seen the boy’s bank account over his shoulder.

“Guys, guys, he’s fucking loaded. Like. So loaded that I don’t understand why he’s staying at these shitty college apartments.”

“You should’ve known he had crazy money,” Jisung scoffs from the floor, legs sprawled out. “He’s paid for all of our meals since we got here.”

“That’s money. This is money.”

“You just said the same thing twice.”)

“Wait, Chenle. We just can’t gloss over the fact that you liked Jisung and confessed to him. What do you mean you can’t remember? How do you know then?”

Chenle groans and rubs his hands over his face, pressing down on his eyes. He talks through his fingers in mortification. “Jisung had to tell me.”

“What did he say?” Renjun asks, timidly, unsure of the ending.

“Not much. He just came up to me talking about how he really appreciated I said something. I asked what he was talking about and then he got super fucking weird. He acted confused and asked what my issue was--”

“Wait,” Renjun interrupts. “Chenle, it sounds like he was okay with it until you asked him what he meant. You said that was when he got weird, right?”

Chenle pauses. “But why would he be okay with it?”

“I dunno. Maybe it’s not a big deal to him. Maybe he likes y-”

“Don’t say that,” Chenle states abruptly. “He doesn’t. This isn’t a Mark and Donghyuck situation.”

Renjun falters.

“Yeah, I know about that one. Everyone does. Mark needs to get a grip and confess already. Donghyuck obviously likes him too.”

It seems as if Renjun was the only one who didn’t know his best friend liked Mark. Donghyuck hadn’t even mentioned anything about liking him…ever. Did he not know his best friend?

“My head hurts,” Renjun complains. “I feel like I’m just now getting to know my friends.”

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t exactly as obvious as those two.”

Renjun sighs. “Lele, you just need to talk to him about it.”

“Talk to Nana first and then I’ll do it.”

“That’s not fair,” Renjun says with a frown. “I haven’t been pining over him for years. And stop calling him Nana.”

“Could’ve fooled me. You two make so much sense.” Chenle looks at his nails as if he were uninterested in what he was saying. “You both…just, get each other. It’s only been how long? And everyone already thinks you two are gonna end up fucking married with little babies. It’s not fair.”

Renjun makes a face. “He doesn’t even like me like that.”

“That sounds familiar,” Chenle fires back in haste. “Because that’s what I said about Jisung and you pulled the ‘you don’t know that’ card.”

“He doesn’t.” Renjun is adamant.

“So why does he look at you like he wants to raw you into next year?”

“Lele.”

“What? It’s true!” The boy pokes Renjun’s chest with a weirdly strong finger. “It’s hard to even look at you two without feeling like I’m about to watch a porno. Except it’s one with a cryptid freak and a twink college boy.”

“I’ll kill you. I’ll literally kill you.”

“How do you think I feel watching everyone around me fall in love and claim that the other would never like them like that?”

“This is so ironic.”

Chenle scowls, but he just looks like an angry kitten. So Renjun doesn’t exactly feel very scared. “Jisung barely even looks at me.”

“Chenle just talk to him. Seriously.”

“I’d rather kick a door with toothpicks underneath my toenails. Repeatedly. Then jump into a pool full of acid.”

“That’s a really dramatic way to avoid talking to fucking Park Jisung of all people.”

The boy narrows his eyes and looks at Renjun in scrutiny. “And what does that mean?”

“That it’s Jisung. He’s one of the easiest people to talk to.”

Chenle makes a sound of disagreement and suddenly gets up, leaving Renjun behind on the couch. “I gotta go anyway. I have an exam that I haven’t even studied for to take in--” he glances down to his phone, “fifteen minutes.”

Renjun watches him leave out the door with a sigh. His phone buzzes.

Minnie <3: wyd now?

Junnie Bug <3: do you think jisung likes chenle?

Minnie <3: does a bear shit in the woods?

Junnie Bug <3: huh

Minnie <3: obviously

Minnie <3: come over o( ❛ᴗ❛ )o

Renjun feels his heart thud. Oh God. Like-- to his place?

Junnie Bug <3: to where?

Minnie <3: my enclosure

Minnie <3: no but really you should come over to my place

Minnie <3: i don’t have a roommate ٩(๑･ิᴗ･ิ)۶٩(･ิᴗ･ิ๑)۶

Junnie Bug <3: what is that face for?

Minnie <3: you’re so dense that it makes you stupidly hot

His cheeks have an odd ache to them and it takes Renjun all but a few seconds to belatedly realize that it’s because he’s smiling so big. He quickly slaps his face, shaking him out of what the fuck ever this was. What the fuck.

Junnie Bug <3: no

Minnie <3: oh?

Minnie <3: so it’s okay if I think you’re hot?

Renjun is fucking mortified and he quickly tosses his phone to the other seat, melting into the cushions. Surely Jaemin is joking. Right? Right? Chenle couldn’t possibly be right in his theory that Jaemin actually likes him. Or, in the least, wants to fuck him. He grabs his phone again. Bravely, Renjun types back a reply.

Junnie Bug <3: everyone does you’re not special

Minnie <3: but i think you’re hot in a different way than everyone else

Minnie <3: soooo…..(づ ◕‿◕ )づ

Junnie Bug <3: hm

Minnie <3: are you gonna come over?

Junnie Bug <3: can’t i’m busy

Minnie <3: oh okay

He feels awful for shutting him down but he panicked. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He doesn’t know why, but it wasn’t. If he went over to Jaemin’s, he wasn’t sure what would happen. He wasn’t sure if Jaemin was just being…Jaemin. If he was just playing around because that’s just what he does.

He wished for a moment he could tell Donghyuck, his best friend in the entire world, but if Donghyuck was going to keep that he liked Mark from him then he was going to play that game too.

Even if he didn’t like Jaemin like that.

He thinks.

Donghyuck finally comes home and Renjun feels like collapsing into his arms. So he does.

“Woah,” his best friend heaves out as he falls into his chest. He had ambushed him in his room where Donghyuck was innocently putting his stuff up. Renjun holds him tight and just screams into his shirt.

“What the fuck--”

“So much has happened. You don’t even know, Hyuck. You don’t even know.”

Donghyuck continues to put away his things but he allows Renjun to drag his body where he goes, even clinging onto him as he bends down to place his shoes into his closet.

“Maybe if you would tell me, I would know,” he says into Renjun’s hair, closing his door.

“That’s amazing coming from you.”

He can practically feel his frown and he’s met with his gaze as he pries the boy’s tense arms off his body like sticky glue. “And what does that mean?”

Renjun seals his lips into a tight line. His best friend raises a singular brow in question.

“Because…”

Donghyuck makes another face of question and plops down on his bed backward. Renjun lingers near the doorway, ready to bolt if the conversation went sour. And it probably would.

“Youshouldtellmewhenyoulikesomeone,” Renjun rushes out all in one big breath.

Donghyuck doesn’t say anything and he notices that it’s as if he’s frozen. “I know that you like Mark.” Donghyuck, to his ultimate surprise, doesn’t look even angry. All he says with a heavy sigh is--

“I need a fucking beer.”

“Do you have any more cookies?”

Renjun tries not to look over at Jaemin, who is currently leaning much too far into his personal space, mouth close to his ear. Renjun ignores him in favor of the board, listening to their chemistry teacher drone on and on and on. He can barely focus as Jaemin begins to poke his shoulder like a bored cat.

Renjun keeps his eyes steady on his paper, scribbling everything down. Jaemin then knocks the pen out of his hand causing it to drop to the floor with a clatter. They’re too far up in the lecture seats for anyone to care or notice, but that doesn’t stop Renjun from looking over at the boy with a scowl.

“You know I’ll help you with your notes,” Jaemin says impatiently, waving his hand. “Do you have any more?”

“No.”

“Yes, you do.”

Renjun turns in his seat to grab the pencil but Jaemin is tugging him by the sleeve of his jacket back up.

“You have a cookie problem” Renjun hisses quietly. “Get that checked out. Get help.”

“I have a Renjun problem,” Jaemin replies happily, in a whisper. “It’s terminal.”

“You’re being so weird.”

“You say that a lot. And, I’m always like this, you know.”

“Yeah, but you’re being…I dunno. Like, extra weird.”

“You’ve already said that too.”

“Well then take a hint maybe,” Renjun bites back with a furrow of his brows.

Jaemin makes a hmmph noise and returns back to the space of his own seat. “So no cookies?”

With a great sigh, he pulls his backpack out from underneath his feet and sets it up on his lap. Jaemin sits up straight in his seat eagerly, perking up with interest as Renjun roots around the front pocket. He pulls out a bag and slides it over to the boy.

“These are better than sex,” Jaemin all but moans out in the lecture hall. Renjun has to shush him with waving hands, threatening to take away the ziplock.

“What?” Jaemin asks, voice indignant at Renjun’s reaction. “It’s true! I haven’t had that much sex but I can tell you this– absolute wank bank material right here in my mouth.”

“You’re worse than Donghyuck. You’re disgusting.”

Jaemin has the decency to look offended. “Donghyuck is the one that calls himself a gutless bottom. You don’t see me doing that, now do you?”

Renjun rolls his eyes. “Because you’re not one.”

“You don’t know me,” Jaemin says with a sniff. “I could be.”

Renjun scans the boy up and down, a slow smile creeping on his features. “Is that so?”

“You think it’s funny?” Jaemin points, eyes narrowed. “Not all of us are obvious.”

“Oh,” Renjun laughs, “is that meant to be pointed at me?”

“Take it as you will.”

“You didn’t even know I was gay, you had to ask me, Jaemin.”

“I knew, okay. I just had to like– confirm.”

“Right. Well, congratulations on your sex status.”

“I’m not just a bottom,” Jaemin says with a bite into his cookie, a loud crunch in the quiet lecture hall.

Renjun rolls his eyes. “He’s versatile. Wow.”

“You’re so mean,” Jaemin pouts. He leans into Renjun’s space. “I could fuck you stupid.”

Renjun can’t help it– he bursts into laughter. Dr. Byrd abruptly stops teaching and looks up into the seats where they are and the rest of the class turns in their own to look at them. He feels his face set aflame while Jaemin sits beside him, completely unbothered. If anything, he looks annoyed that Renjun thought it was funny– not that he embarrassed them in front of 90 people.

She doesn’t say anything, but she eyes them both with a stern look before turning back to the board.

“Oh my god,” Renjun groans quietly into his hands.

Jaemin doesn’t let it go. Renjun is innocently eating outside the library when the boy ambushes him, demanding an answer.

“You really don’t think I’m good at sex?” He plops down on the other side of the wooden picnic table, slamming his book down. It’s kind of funny seeing Jaemin be stumped about something.

“Good,” Renjun snorts, throwing his fingers up into quotations, “--at sex is all I need to know.”

He proceeds to snatch Jaemin’s textbook, hunting down all of the little scribbled notes in the margins (and the completed homework that he has pressed between the pages).

“So you think I’m a bad lay?”

“I didn’t say that,” Renjun hums with disinterest, regarding his paper with more scrutiny. Jaemin’s handwriting was so…neat. Freak.

“You just said ‘good’ in air quotations.”

“Because the way you said it was funny.”

“So you do think I’m a good lay?”

Renjun finally looks up from stealing all of Jaemin’s work with raised brows. “And how would I know that?”

The boy in front of him shrugs. “How do you know I’m bad?”

Renjun sighs in exasperation. “I never said you were.”

“You laughed when I said–”

“Because it’s the fact that you said it, Jaemin.” Renjun can’t help but laugh again at the absurdity of it all. “Why on earth would you say that to someone you’re not fucking?”

Jaemin looks at him with a blank expression and Renjun gets that feeling again– that feeling that he’s missing something.

“Never mind,” Jaemin says. “I guess it really doesn’t matter.” He says it with a lift of his shoulders and a what-can-you-do look on his face. Renjun frowns.

“Wait why do I feel like I just upset you?”

Jaemin tilts his head to the side in question. “Why would it upset me?”

“I don’t know,” Renjun replies truthfully. “You just seem…?”

And this is all just so weird. Renjun doesn’t know why this conversation sets off an odd emotion in the pit of his stomach. The back of his head itches in a strange, foreign way. It’s the same taste in his mouth when he was solving a problem for chemistry, one that was just on the tip of his tongue. Yet, it was too far back in his memory to retrieve what he needed to answer it.

“You said I could ask you any question and that you would answer right?”

Jaemin doesn’t say anything but his eyes seem to glow in the sun, a golden wink underneath the shade of the tree. He nods.

“How do I do this chem problem?”

Jaemin sighs, but he comes around the table to sit next to Renjun.

Slades isn’t safe either because Jaemin ambushes him there too.

Kind of.

Donghyuck shoves Jeno off his back playfully, pushing him into the booth seat. “You’re stupid.”

“Who is?” Chenle asks, sipping on his non-alcoholic tea.

(“Absolutely no alcohol for me,” Chenle says to Renjun as they’re loading into Jeno’s vehicle. “If you see me drinking, just take me out back and shoot me. Execution style.”)

“Jeno,” Donghyuck says plopping down next to him. “He just said that he thinks the cryptid is gone.”

“Cryptids don’t just disappear,” Mark chimes in. “They like…stay.”

“That’s so insightful, Mark,” Donghyuck says with a roll of his eyes. The boy beams obviously, basking in the pseudo-compliment from his crush.

“Guys,” Jeno whines. “It hasn’t been active. I haven’t got that feeling anymore.”

Chenle snorts into his drink, chewing on the end of his straw. Jeno glances over at the noise and narrows his eyes in an accusatory manner. He turns back to Donghyuck who is too busy scrolling through Instagram.

“Jeno,” the younger Chinese boy begins, “Donghyuck, of all fucking people, is saying that you’re crazy. Think about that.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Donghyuck asks, putting his arm around Mark’s shoulders. Nobody says anything because it’s normal. Except, Renjun knows. He tries not to stare. Donghyuck doesn’t meet his eyes either. Fucker. Secret keeper.

“Do I have to remind you that you think the government is following you?” Jisung asks. It was as if he appeared out of nowhere. He slides in next to Renjun, drinks in hand, arm resting on the scratched oak.

“That doesn’t count because these are two different situations. In one situation, there are these little documents called the Patriot Act and the Bill of Rights. In the other, there’s an unproven supernatural creature.”

“Aliens exist,” Jisung says firmly. “So where do we go from here?”

“You also believed in the cryptid,” Jeno accuses. “You can’t just change your mind!”

A voice next to Renjun startles him while giving Donghyuck his best death glare.

“We are explicitly violated, even under our so-called protective fourth amendment. What happened to civil liberties?”

Jaemin pats the thigh of Jisung, who quickly gets the hint that he wants the spot next to Renjun. He tries to signal with his eyes to an oblivious Jisung that no! and don’t you dare! are the words that he’s trying to beam into the back of his head. But, alas, Jaemin gives him a wicked grin as he slides into the booth next to him.

Here’s the thing. He wasn’t…avoiding him. He was just– taking a moment? Trying to figure out where the lines blurred between them? How it blurred between them? Donghyuck had said that he was overthinking the situation in a typical Renjun manner. But, he has to disagree. If anything, he thinks that he wasn’t thinking enough.

Not to mention, they had added Jaemin to the fucking groupchat. So now, when he was avoiding him, he couldn’t even text back in the groupchat because it would give away the fact that his phone isn’t actually dead.

“Exactly!” Donghyuck says with his palm open toward Jaemin in agreement. “This guy gets it.”

“This guy,” Jeno says with a scowl, “is the cryptid, so of course he wants you to focus on your civil liberty violations.”

Jaemin is incredibly warm sitting next to him. Chenle sips his tea with boredom. “This is such a riveting conversation. It takes me back to my state government class that I slept through.”

“Isn’t this a federal issue, technically?” Jeno points. Chenle stops chewing on his straw and he raises a singular, perfect brow at the boy’s words.

“Choke on the federal issue I call my cock,” Chenle replies in Chinese. Renjun can’t help but smile into his drink as Jeno throws his hands up in rage, complaining that it isn’t fair that the boy gets to get away with things just because nobody but Renjun can understand him.

“What did he say?” Jaemin whispers next to him.

Renjun shouldn’t even be avoiding him. Jaemin had done nothing wrong. The only crime he had committed was being stupid hot and mildly off-putting when it came to his cookie based diet. It wasn’t really fair to him that Renjun was bad at organizing his feelings. He had wanted to tell Donghyuck all about it, but he couldn’t exactly find the words when his best friend finally came clean about being in love with Mark. Donghyuck had enough on his heaping plate of complications already.

Besides, what would he say?

Hey, I think Jaemin wants to smash. I want to smash him too. But I also don’t think he does. He keeps telling me to ask him questions but then he just stares at me when I do. And, I’ve spent $200 on ingredients to bake cookies over the past couple of weeks. I don’t even regret it. I now bring a grown man a bag of cookies every day. He doesn’t even gain weight. Seriously. Don’t even ask me why I want to have sex with him and when I realized that I wanted to. I think I always have. Since the day I watched him eat a cookie off the sidewalk. Also, I think he’s a cryptid.

“It’s rather vulgar,” Renjun says, mouth twisting up in amusement.

“Chenle? Vulgar?” Jaemin teases.

“I believe,” Renjun begins, “that he told Jeno to choke on the federal issue that he calls his cock.”

“Classy.”

“Hey,” Jisung complains on the other side of Jaemin. “Are you translating for Jaemin?”

“Are you fucking serious?” Donghyuck is aghast. “You refuse to translate for any of us when he does this but you’ll translate for him?”

“Get hot and mysterious. Then maybe Renjun will consider it,” Chenle says smugly, still chewing on his straw.

“You think I’m hot and mysterious?” Jaemin beams, an ear-splitting grin evident on his face. Chenle laughs and sends a heart the boy’s way. Jisung slams another shot down. If Chenle notices, he doesn’t show it. Renjun isn’t sure how much longer he can deal with all of his friends refusing to admit their feelings or acknowledge the elephant in the room. He ignores that maybe he’s doing the same.

Seriously– when did this happen?

“Okay, it doesn’t matter because it’s gone. They’re gone.” Jeno crosses his arms in front of his chest and leans back into his seat in mild defeat.

“Let’s say that the cryptid does exist,” Chenle begins. “It can, technically, just disappear. It could’ve moved somewhere else.”

“But that doesn’t make sense,” Jeno groans. He downs another shot and shakes his head at the bitter taste. “Why would it leave?”

“Because it was never there in the first place?” Jaemin answers for the rest of them. Jeno twists his lips in disagreement, and Chenle already looks bored with the conversation.

“Something was there,” Donghyuck chimes in with a shrug. “Something is there.”

“So why don’t we feel it?” Jeno asks. He looks at them expectantly but everyone ends up in disagreement. Renjun can still feel something. Mark, Jisung, and Donghyuck too. It’s just Jeno that claims that it’s “gone”.

“Well,” he sniffs. “You can’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Jeno.” Jaemin claps a strong hand on his shoulder, shaking it gently. “If you’re afraid of it, there’s nothing to worry about.”

“What if it comes back?”

Jaemin smiles. “You’re safe.”

Jeno makes a face but Renjun can tell that Jaemin’s words comforted him. Odd.

Renjun slowly goes back to talking to Jaemin like before, and the boy doesn’t bring up the topic of sex anymore, much to his deep relief.

But, this isn’t exactly good. Because Renjun has realized that he has a massive, fat, ginormous, crush on Jaemin. A terminal one. So while he dropped the avoiding game, he lost the war that was going on in his head. And while this wasn’t exactly big news to him, it didn’t mean it was any less shocking that it was hitting him this…hard.

“It’s bad, Donghyuck.”

His best friend doesn’t look up from his phone but he makes a noise.

“Like, real bad,” Renjun says again. “Code Mark bad.”

Donghyuck looks up, slightly annoyed. “And you’re just now realizing?”

“Apparently,” Renjun bites back, “I’m late to the realization party.”

Donghyuck clicks his tongue. “Sorry, I thought my best friend knew that I had a–” he stops himself.

“You can’t even say crush,” Renjun points out. “How the fuck was I supposed to know you like Mark when you can’t even say the word?”

“Okay, you say you have one on Jaemin.”

Renjun presses his lips into a stubborn tight line. Damn. Donghyuck always knew how to get him.

“That’s not–”

“Don’t even start,” Donghyuck says putting his phone down on the wooden desk. He points at Renjun with an accusatory finger. “Don’t even. Say it.”

When Renjun had cornered Donghyuck that night, he hadn’t expected Donghyuck to be so…open about it. He had only cracked open a beer with a sigh, resting his head on Renjun’s shoulder.

(“Renjun, babe, I think you’re the only person that didn’t know.”)

Of course, he had to explain to his best friend that no he didn’t fucking know– because if he did, he would’ve talked to him about it, given him advice, helped him, something. But he wouldn’t have left Donghyuck in the dark like that on purpose.

Donghyuck had just thought Renjun was giving him “space” about it.

“I like–”

“No,” Donghyuck is smug. “I have.”

“I have–” Renjun coughs, holding his throat. “I can’t say it. I literally can’t.”

His best friend looks at him with disappointment and he spins his chair back around to roll up a new joint. They had already smoked their other one down into nothing. He had to use a bobby pin to hold the tidbits that were left.

Renjun presses his lips together in determination. He could say it. Easy.

“I have a crush on Ja–”

His phone pings, lighting his screen up. He still hadn’t changed the lockscreen Jaemin had set for him.

Minnie <3: lab was easy btw, i’ll give you the answers .(づ ◕‿◕ )づ

Junnie Bug <3: i think you’re psychic

Minnie <3: w(°ｏ°)w

Minnie <3: why do you say that

Donhyuck is unimpressed.

“You need to tell him.”

“What? Absolutely not.”

“Why?” Donghyuck asks, throwing his hands up in the air. “Seriously. Why? He likes you too, you know.”

“How do you know that?”

“I just do.”

“Okay,” Renjun starts, “then tell Mark.”

Donghyuck crosses his arms. “Not fair. You know I’m trying. I just need to…” he trails off, “find the right moment?” He says it like a question.

“Any moment would be perfect. It’s Mark we’re talking about.”

Donghyuck sighs and continues rolling, focusing on making the perfect joint like his life depended on it. Renjun knew it was just an avoidance tactic. He can’t say he doesn’t blame him for it, though. If anything, he gets it.

Donghyuck spins back around with the joint in hand and Renjun watches as he thumbs his lighter, the flame crackling at the end. “You know, maybe you two need to fuck and then figure it out from there.”

“That is the worst advice you’ve ever given me.”

His best friend just shrugs, inhaling the smoke deep inside his lungs.

It’s fucking awful advice.

But Renjun thinks about it. And thinks about it. And thinks about it.

It doesn’t help that since he’d come to the realization that he even liked Jaemin, that everything the boy did was suddenly an act of pointed terrorism on his dick.

It had all begun when Jaemin had snapped on a pair of lab goggles, his hair puffing up at the sides of the stiff straps, making him look like a deranged, sexy, mushroom. Renjun had got hard at the sight of it. He just looked so– smart.

renjunnie: LAB GOGGLES

chenle (maybe): ?

chenle (maybe): what the fuck are you ever talking about

Then, Jaemin had invited him to his apartment. He claimed that Renjun needed to study for their chemistry test and that he was the best tutor around– after all, he had made a perfect score on every exam so far. Renjun attests his freakishly smart nature to his cryptid abilities.

“Why don’t we study at the library instead?” Renjun suggested nervously, fiddling with the strap of his bag as they left class. Jaemin had shrugged, seemingly not offended.

But then he had shown up with coffee for Renjun and wire-framed glasses.

“You wear glasses?” Renjun asks as Jaemin plops down across from him, his toxic sludge of a coffee held tight in his hand. He pauses and then pinches the frames between his fingers.

“Oh. Yeah.”

“M’ surprised you don’t have perfect sight.”

“I’m far from perfect, you know.”

“I disagree,” Renjun says without thinking. Jaemin doesn’t say anything but he does take a long sip of his drink, looking at him over the lid of his cup. Renjun flushes and pretends that he’s more focused on his study sheet that Jaemin had made, not at the way his eyes are dark, steady. Definitely not at the way his glasses rest on the end of his nose, long lashes sweeping the tops of his cheeks. Renjun adjusts himself in his chair.

renjunnie: GLASSES

chenle (maybe): i’m sensing a pattern

Then, it’s the way he holds a pencil. Renjun’s eyes track the motion of the eraser end tapping on the edge of his lips, his knuckles flexed around the wood. His fingers are so…long. Even his fingernails are pretty, almost representative of how he holds himself. Renjun realizes he’s officially fucking lost it. He’s writing sonnets about the comparison of Jaemin’s fingernails to his face.

It’s also the way Jaemin wears t-shirts. Specifically, baggy ones that don’t conform to his body, but instead, highlight it. Jaemin is stretched out on Renjun’s couch, shirt hitched up to his belly button. Renjun keeps his eyes trained on the shitty reality tv show that Jaemin put on, trying to keep up with the drama between the contestants.

Jaemin points at the screen, quibbling that one of them just wants their five seconds of fame.

His skin is tan, and the planes of his stomach are smooth and soft looking. He can’t help but glimpse the way the shirt pools around his waist– slimmer and more angular than he conceded. The fabric of the shirt has ridden up his biceps too, exposing muscle that he hadn’t detected before. Had Jaemin always looked this athletic? He swallows thickly at the sight of Jaemin’s dark hair fanning the couch pillow, falling into his eyes. Jaemin was breathtaking in every sense of the word. His legs hang over the armrest of the tiny couch, flexing thighs that are hidden by joggers. He looks away once more.

As the next couple of weeks drag on, Renjun does his best to ignore the fact that he wants Jaemin. It’s silly. Jaemin is just a friend that he happens to want to fuck. But Donghyuck’s voice echoes in his head (a very annoying voice).

“You know, maybe you two need to fuck and then figure it out from there.”

Renjun’s alone in his room, streetlamp shining in. The apartment is silent, and he’s almost sure that if he listened hard enough, he would be able to hear Donghyuck’s snores drift down the stretch of the hallway.

He stares up at the ceiling and wills himself to think clearly about the situation for once. He just needs to do what he does best– think. Although, it’s hard to think when Jaemin is plaguing his mind, much like those little devils that sit on your shoulder and will you to do bad things.

It doesn’t help that he and Jaemin had been texting every day now, sending silly little photos back and forth.

He shakes the thought of him out his mind once more. God. It’s all he can think about. When was the last time he felt so obsessive about someone? It was like having a crush in high school all over again.

Renjun continues to count ceiling cracks as he straightens the situation in his mind. What were the facts?

One, he knew he liked Jaemin. Two, he knew he wanted to fuck Jaemin. Or, Jaemin fuck him. It didn’t matter. Three, he was sure he would be able to stifle the crush down his windpipe and stomach. If Donghyuck and Chenle could do it for years, so could he. Jaemin being his friend was enough. It was just painful.

His mind drifts to Jaemin– again. Drifts to his lips, the way he laughs, the way he just carelessly touches Renjun. He’s always holding his arm when they walk, flicking the end of his nose with his finger when Renjun does something particularly ‘cute’, straightening his jacket for him before they venture out into the cold. Then, his mind takes him to the place he’s been avoiding the entire time– the way Jaemin had leaned in close and said–

“I could fuck you stupid.”

He had fucking pouted when he said it too.

He isn’t thinking when his hand trails down his stomach, fingers creeping to the waistband of his sleep pants. Renjun squeezes his eyes shut so hard that he sees sparks behind them, blinking in and out of blackened vision.

He can’t.

He shouldn’t.

This is crossing every metaphorical line Renjun had drawn in the sand between their relationship. Their very, very, weird relationship. While he shouldn’t jerk off to his friend’s face, his friend shouldn’t also say those types of…things. Promises? Renjun couldn’t exactly find the line anymore. It was washed away a long time ago he supposes.

With a sigh, Renjun slips his hand down his underwear, curling around himself. He almost gasped out loud at the fact that he was already semi-hard. The echoes of Jaemin’s words float in his subconscious and he thinks of the way his warm breath had felt on the side of his neck. The way he was serious.

His phone that rests next to his head on his soft pillow chimes with a loud ping! startling him instantly out of his daze. Guilty, he jerks his hands out of his pants and clutches the neck of his shirt. Fuck. He knew exactly who it was.

Minnie <3: you up?

Did he just get you up’d?

Renjun types–

Junnie Bug <3: yeah just about to jerk off to the thought of you, wbu?

He instantly deletes it. He’s actually gone crazy. He feels the urge to run to Donghyuck’s room and shake him awake, just to confess his sins. Donghyuck would probably smack him in the stomach and roll over with a grumble. He wouldn’t be of any help. He couldn’t tell Chenle because he can’t stand the thought of a very smug Chenle laughing at him. Jeno would just say ew. Jisung is his baby. He can’t tell him these kinds of things. Mark would probably say dudeeee and start talking about how he wants to fuck Donghyuck.

Junnie Bug <3: yeah im up

Minnie <3: me too

Junnie Bug <3: I figured

Junnie Bug <3: you know, since you’re the one who messaged me

Minnie <3: ha

Minnie <3: yeah

Renjun frowns. Where were the crazy emoticons? His usual slew of nonsensical texts?

Junnie Bug <3: are you okay minnie?

Minnie <3: oh wow you actually used the special nickname I let you have

Minnie <3: this is a first

Junnie Bug <3: of course. you did give it to me after all

Minnie <3: I did didn’t I?

Junnie Bug <3: you still didn’t tell me if you’re okay or not

Minnie <3: I am

Junnie Bug <3: where are your emoticons?

Minnie <3: I need to ask you something

Renjun’s heart thuds in his throat. He knows that he’s joked that Jaemin was psychic, a supernatural creature, or something of that sort. But now it doesn’t really feel like a joke anymore. The guilt of what he was about to do, what he was doing begins to eat at him. Renjun wasn’t built to have this much stress.

Junnie Bug <3: go ahead

Minnie <3: can I call you?

He looks around his room nervously, expecting Jaemin to magically appear in a boom of sparkles and heavy smoke at his feet like some wizard.

Junnie Bug <3: yea of course

Only a few seconds pass before his phone rings, Jaemin’s picture lighting up his screen in the dark of his room. His thumb swipes the answer button and he brings the phone to his ear slowly.

“Hey,” he breathes.

“Hey,” Jaemin says– just as breathless.

This was really, really fucking weird. Somehow, the air feels thick and heavy, suffocating Renjun into his pillows. He feels smothered as he talks.

“Are you okay?”

“M’ fine. I think.”

“Are you…” Renjun trails, “needing a ride?”

“No, I’m at home, Renjunnie.”

“Oh. That’s good.”

“Ha,” Jaemin replies without any humor.

“Why did you–”

“Sorry if I’m being–”

They speak at the same time, their laughter putting a crack in the wall of tension that was sitting between their phone lines. Renjun breathes out in minor relief and Jaemin does too. It wasn’t like they were fighting or anything and Renjun hadn’t been avoiding him anymore. It was almost as if Jaemin was just as guilty as Renjun was.

“You can be honest,” Renjun laughs. “You’re always honest with me. You are being strange, ya know.”

“I know. I’m about to sound even stranger. Is stranger a word?”

“It is,” Renjun confirms. “But I don’t know if you could surprise me with your weirdness anymore.”

Jaemin laughs, a warm honeyed sound that drips across the speaker of Renjun’s phone. He wishes he were here next to him. “Well, I’m not sure about that.”

“You’re finally confessing that you’re a cryptid?”

“No. I’m sorry to say that I’m innocent of that charge.”

“Hm,” Renjun grumbles. “I’m not quite convinced.”

“Now who’s talking like an old Victorian man?”

“I’m not as deprived as one,” Renjun giggles. “I see more ankle than they ever have.”

“My ankles are quite sexy, aren’t they?” Jaemin teases. He can picture the smile on his face. Wherever he is.

“Where are you?” Renjun asks, curiously.

“In my bed. It’s a magical place.”

“So you’ve implied.”

“Mhm,” Jaemin hums. He can hear him shifting around and Jaemin sighs, clicking his tongue. “You know, I called because I was thinking of you.”

Renjun’s voice is hoarse. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“I was…” he trails, “thinking of you too.”

Jaemin pauses. “What about me?”

Renjun can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. “You first.”

“Me? I don’t think that’s the best idea.”

Renjun’s breath hitches and Jaemin must notice because his voice is quick.

“I told you it was strange. You first.”

“Mine is strange too.”

“Is it really strange?” Jaemin’s voice is light. Joking, but not really.

Renjun can’t stand it. The back and forth, the dancing around whatever is bothering them both, is getting to his head; his voice has an edge to it when he replies.

“You’ll laugh. Actually, you’ll laugh so hard and then you won’t be my friend anymore. Then I’ll have to move to a different college because I’m so embarrassed, which means I’ll have to leave my friends behind. I can’t leave Donghyuck by himself. How is he gonna end up with Mark without my help? Who is Chenle going to talk to?”

“I don’t think that’s true at all,” he replies softly. “And I have a feeling you’re being a bit dramatic.”

Renjun sighs too, a mirror of Jaemin’s own earlier. Then, he scoffs.

“You’re saying that and you don’t even know what I was thinking about when I was thinking of you.”

“Can I guess?” Jaemin inquires. Another shift crackles across the speaker and Renjun gets comfortable too, throwing an arm behind his head.

“Do I need to remind you that you’re the one who called me? How is that fair? Plus, you were the one being mope-y over text.”

Jaemin’s voice is indignant. “I wasn’t being mope-y!”

“You kinda were. You didn’t have any of your flourish in our messages.”

“That’s a mean way to tell me I’m gay over text.”

Renjun huffs. “You’re just trying to agitate me.”

“Is it working?”

“Does it sound like it?”

Jaemin is smug. “Cute.”

Renjun hums and plays with the hem of his t-shirt, trying to find the right words. Could he be honest? Could he cross the invisible line?

“Jaemin…”

“Yea?”

“Were you thinking of me…like– in a way?”

“In a way?” he repeats, voice doing that low thing. The thing where he goes all serious and his voice has a bit of rockiness to it.

Renjun flushes even more. He’s sure that his cheeks are a permanent pretty pink because of Jaemin now.

“You know.”

“If I guess wrong then it’s just embarrassing for us both, Renjun.”

“I’ve already embarrassed myself in front of you enough that I don’t care.”

“What about my dignity?”

“Out the window when you texted and called me acting like this.”

Jaemin’s laugh is abrupt and he talks through his giggles. “That’s fair.”

“So, guess.”

“What are we, teenagers?”

“I’m about to go fucking crazy,” Renjun blurts. “Like seriously, off the walls.”

“Were you getting off to me?”

The air in Renjun’s body leaves him in a quick whoosh and he doesn’t say anything, letting himself marinate in the fact that Jaemin actually guessed. That he guessed correctly. That now Renjun has two choices– he can lie or he can confess. Either way, he’s in an absolute state of mortification.

“Well.”

“Well. Me too.”

“Wait.”

“I hope you weren’t joking because I wasn’t,” Jaemin laughs. “If you were, then this is definitely something I need you to erase from your memory. I’ll need to acquire that incredibly cool thing they have in Men in Black that wipes memory.”

“Neuralyzer,” Renjun says weakly. By the grace of God (or the devil) he’s still semi-hard. Cock perking up in interest at the fact that Jaemin was getting off to him. Or, was at least thinking about it. “I was serious, by the way.” His voice shakes.

“You sound nervous,” Jaemin says gently. “It’s okay. It’s just me.”

“It’s embarrassing,” Renjun sighs, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Even if I was too?”

“Even then.”

“Then we can be embarrassed together,” Jaemin soothes. “I mean, think about it this way. I’m the one who sent you a ‘u up’ text,” he muses.

“What were you hoping to get out of that by the way?”

“I was hoping that talking to you would snap me out of it. But, I think it just made it worse.”

“My voice that sexy?” Renjun teases without thinking. Well.

“Duh,” Jaemin laughs. “So now I’m just kind of…stuck. And guilty.”

“Did you…” Renjun searches for the right words. “Actually, like, get off? Or were you thinking about it?”

“Thinking,” he confirms. “What about you?”

“Thinking,” he echoes back. “Kind of. You texted me mid-hand down my pants. So, that was humbling. And mortifying– however you look at it.” Renjun can’t believe they’re just having a conversation about it. Talking about how they both were horny over each other at the same time, about to commit a heinous act of betrayal on their not-so-friends-friendship. Except they were actually friends. Just, close and weirdly gay friends.

“Nah,” Jaemin replies. “Like I said, it’s okay.”

“Right.”

“Well, goodnight, Renjunnie.”

Renjun hesitates at the abruptness of it all. Okay. “Night Minnie.”

And when Jaemin hangs up and Renjun slides his hands back down his body, he can’t help but shudder at the thought that the boy might be doing the same thing.

No– that he most definitely was.

Mark’s voice is high. “You what?”

“Shut up!” Renjun hisses, smacking a hand over his mouth. “Shut up!”

Mark shoves his hand off, not even bothered at Renjun’s tactic of silencing him in Mark’s own room. “You’re serious? Like, you actually got off to him?”

“Mark,” Renjun groans miserably. “Don’t make me regret telling you and not my own best friend. I came to you because I thought you would understand.”

“I do,” Mark says, cheeks pink. “This is kinda crazy coming from you I guess. It’s weird that you have a crush. A thing. A thing with Jaemin.”

“Yeah,” Renjun winces. “Is it weird?”

“I mean, no. But, dude, you’re both in it now.”

“What do you mean in-it?”

Mark throws both hands behind his head in a cradle and he stretches from his criss-cross position on the floor. He had been attempting yoga when Renjun had let himself in the apartment, brushing past a snoring Jeno on the couch.

“You can’t exactly forget that you both jerked off to the thought of each other. He definitely did when he hung up. And, he knows that you did too.”

Renjun grabs a pillow off Mark’s bed and immediately wails into it, screaming deep into the thick feathers and soft material. Mark simply goes back into another yoga position and he talks as he reaches a hand up toward the ceiling, angling his fingers in a salute position.

“There is a bright side to this,” he muses.

“There is?”

“You have officially crossed the awkward in-between of friends or more, into more.” He pauses. “It’s hell being in the middle. Trust me. Donghyuck has been acting like I don’t exist recently.”

Renjun pushes his own worries to the side and tilts his head in curiosity. “How so?”

Mark switches back to an arched position and he tucks his head into his arm as he stretches his hamstrings. His voice is muffled into his skin as he talks.

“He texts me every day but he hasn’t in maybe two weeks now? He also ditched our boba study session and didn’t even call me to tell me that he wasn’t coming.”

Renjun frowns. That was weird. Donghyuck hadn’t said anything about Mark or anything about recent developments in their situationship. Renjun wasn’t even sure why Donghyuck wasn’t doing anything to progress the awkward situation they were in. He had told Renjun that he knew Mark liked him, all while telling him that he liked him too.

What was his hold up? He’d wanted to press Donghyuck about it but he was so wrapped up in his own boy issues and school work that he hadn’t asked. It was probably time to corner Donghyuck once more.

“I’m sorry,” Renjun says, his voice genuine.

“I know, Junnie. He’ll work through it. He does this sometimes. I don’t know why, but he does. He doesn’t do that to you, does he?” “No,” Renjun answers honestly. He wants to shake Mark and scream he likes you too!! please go kiss him or something!! confess!! But it wasn’t his place to intervene. Much like it wasn’t his place to get in Chenle and Jisung’s way. Which, he didn’t even know what was going on with them either. He needed to get some shit sorted.

“Have you seen him in person yet?”

Renjun shakes his head and presses his lips together tightly. “No. I don’t even know what to say when I do.”

“Maybe hi?”

He scowls. “Just hi?”

“Well, it’s gonna be awkward if you acknowledge it.”

“So I ignore it?”

Mark laughs, slipping into the downward dog position.

“Oh, Junnie. There’s no ignoring the situation now.”

Donghyuck is the master of avoidance.

“I hate that I have to literally corner you just to get an answer!” Renjun complains. Currently, he’s sitting on Donghyuck’s stomach, pressing the boy down into the cushions of the couch with a stubborn glare.

“Get off!”

“No! You need to tell me right now.”

His best friend scowls beneath him and tries to kick his legs once more, but it’s all in vain. “You’re weirdly strong for someone so short.”

“That’s why I’m strong.”

The boy huffs and his arms fall limp, slipping off the couch and hitting the floor with a thud. “Why do you care?”

Renjun is momentarily taken aback and he narrows his eyes at the boy underneath him. “What? Why wouldn’t I care about what is going on in your life?”

“You don’t seem to have much interest lately.”

“That’s not true.”

Donghyuck winces.

“I’m not that heavy.”

“That’s not what my issue is.”

“Then what is it?”

“I don’t know!” Donghyuck exclaims, throwing his hands up animatedly, almost hitting Renjun in the face. “I’m just—!” He gestures wildly around him and Renjun raises a brow.

“I’m not following.”

“Stressed,” Donghyuck finally sighs. “I’m just stressed and I hate talking to people about it. I’m stressed about school and I’m stressed about Mark.”

“You’re being weirdly avoidant about it even though you claim that everyone knows.”

“They do. You’re the one who didn’t.”

“My feelings are still hurt about that by the way,” Renjun comments. “I can’t believe you thought I was just giving you ‘space’ about it.”

“Blah, blah, blah.”

“Donghyuck. You had to have known. You just didn’t want to tell me.”

“Does it matter?”

Renjun laughs but it’s not unkind. “I mean, yeah? I would’ve been here for you to talk about it, rant about it, give advice, I don’t know. Something! Why not tell me?”

Donghyuck’s horror game still flashes on the tv screen, abandoned when Renjun had ambushed him on the sofa, arms wide as he catapulted himself onto his friend’s limp figure. The wails of zombies from the speakers seems fitting for this situation.

“Because.”

“Because?” Renjun repeats.

“Renjun, what I’m about to tell you, you’ll need to take to the grave.”

Renjun scowls. “I’m your best friend for a reason.”

Donghyuck nods, then looks around as if Mark was hiding behind their overpriced Ikea plant. He runs tired hands over his face and speaks between his fingers.

“I don’t know know how to flirt.”

“Huh?”

He repeats it. “I don’t know how to flirt!”

“That’s your issue?” Renjun all but screeches. “You have no fucking game?”

“Fuck off,” Donghyuck says with a smack to Renjun’s stomach. He makes a sound as the boy uses his alligator tactic, rolling off the couch until Renjun is pushed off him.

“All you have to do is tell him you like him!” Renjun says, now from the floor. He needed to sweep. Donghyuck’s on the ground next to him too, glaring holes into his forehead.

“The rest are going to be here any second now. Let’s just drop it.”

“Donghyuck, I can help you. What’s the point of not using your friend as a wingman?”

“You’d really help me?” Donghyuck replies warily, skepticism lining his syllables.

“Duh.”

“Oh.”

“I’m minorly offended,” Renjun sniffs.

The boys bursting through the door knocks them out of their conversation and Renjun can only look at Donghyuck in horror as Jaemin walks in with the rest of them. As if this wasn’t now a common occurrence— Jaemin was part of the group now. His best friend’s face is an echo of his own when he looks at Renjun because Mark is there too— the person that he had been avoiding.

The rest pause at the sight of them on the floor, both with mortification lining their features. It’s Jisung who speaks.

“Why are you both on the ground and why do you both look like you just got caught doing something?”

“It’s best friend talk. Emergency conversations. You wouldn’t get it.”

“It requires you to be on the floor, scared?”

“Yes,” Renjun answers with confidence. “It helps boost morale.”

Jisung just shrugs and throws his bag to the floor. The rest follow suit and disperse themselves among the tiny living room, tossing their belongings into indistinguishable heaps. Renjun is sure that they’ll argue over who has what later.

Jaemin makes his way over to Renjun (he is positive that he looks like a deer caught in headlights) who is trying his hardest to act like he’s interested in the conversation he struck up with Jeno. The boy nudges Renjun’s shoulder with his knee as he sits down behind him on the couch.

Jaemin’s long legs cage him from his position on the floor and he wills himself to ignore the heavy presence of the man. It almost gives him goosebumps.

The rest chatter and pick up their controllers as Renjun is tasked with packing Meso. Jaemin doesn’t play the video game with them but instead chooses to place strong hands on Renjun’s shoulders, massaging deep into the stiff muscles.

He can’t help but melt into his touch, even leaning back into the feeling. This was a normal thing; Jaemin was always touching him one way or another. But this time, it felt heavier, more meaningful.

Renjun braves himself to look up at Jaemin. The boy smiles from above him, perfectly white teeth on display.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” Renjun says softly. God.

“You never texted me back.”

“Um,” he hums. “Well. Can I say that I was busy?”

Jaemin tilts his head, clicking his tongue. “No, I’m afraid not.”

“I was kidnapped?”

“That won’t work either.”

Donghyuck curses loudly next to them and slams his hand down on the ground. “You’re a cheater, Lele!”

“Suck my dick,” he shoots back. Jisung sits next to the boy yelling back the profanity and he sinks back into the cushions with a red flush.

“Chenle needed my help with a top secret Chinese mission?”

“Project Jisung doesn’t grant you immunity for avoiding me. You’re crossing jurisdictions.”

“You know an awful lot about law,” Renjun grumbles, looking back down at the bong. He dutifully goes back to preparing her, hoping that nobody around them notices that they’re caught up in each other.

“I heard my name?” Jisung asks, intrigued, brows furrowed. Chenle glanced over sharply at the two with curiosity as well.

“Mind your business.” Renjun snaps.

“This room is tiny!”

“Even more reason to stay in your bubble.”

Jisung mumbles something under his breath and Chenle snorts next to him, patting his leg with a smile. Oh. So they were talking again. Next on his physically-tackle-until-they-confess list was Chenle.

“They’re on good terms,” Jaemin says with a whisper. Renjun looks back up in question, but the boy just shrugs.

“I talk to Chenle a lot.”

“That’s scary.”

“That’s what Jeno said too.”

Renjun makes a hmph sound. “Agreeing with Jeno wasn’t something I thought I would do today.”

Jaemin just laughs, digging his fingers deeper into Renjun’s shoulders. He shudders and hurriedly passes the bong over to Donghyuck– who gladly takes a rip from it, throwing his controller to the side. His thumbs press deep circles into the blades and Renjun can’t help but close his eyes in bliss.

They don’t say anything else to each other for a while, but they do talk amongst their friends, Jaemin’s hands still heavy on his body as he laughs with Mark and Jisung. Donghyuck doesn’t mention it but he does eye the two with apprehension. Soon, his hands are sliding down Renjun’s arms and holding his wrists, head resting on top of his.

He could be cool. He could be calm. No big deal (a very big deal!!). Jaemin smelled amazing– like citrus soap, laundry detergent, and expensive cologne. He glances around to their friends among them and nobody is paying attention to the pair.

“You smell so nice, Junnie.” Jaemin buries his head into the fluff of his hair and Renjun tries not to melt into the ground right there. He tries to hide the deep inhale he takes at the sound of Jaemin’s voice. Even if he does say it in that stupid, doting voice.

“Excuse me,” Renjun manages to murmur before quickly getting up, leaving the boy behind. He beelines for the bathroom in his room, slamming the door shut behind him.

Okay.

Okay.

This wasn’t even a big deal. Why was he freaking out? Jaemin is like this all the time. But it’s different– this time, there was the knowledge that they had…

“Renjun?” A knock on the bathroom door. It’s undeniably Jaemin’s voice that is muffled through the thick oak, a hand on the knob.

“Um,” he says dumbly.

“Can I come in?”

“I’m pissing.”

“No, you’re not.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Renjun.”

Renjun yanks the door open and Jaemin immediately lets himself in, closing the door behind him with a firm click.

“Did you just lock the door?”

Jaemin doesn’t say anything but he brushes past him, sliding up on the bathroom counter. Renjun can see the reflection of them both and he looks away from his own petrified expression and into Jaemin’s.

“Nervous?”

“No.”

“Liar,” Jaemin replies, voice coy. His eyes are bright amber, even in the dingy bronze of his shitty bathroom lights.

Renjun swallows thickly and rests his back against the door. Jaemin eyes him curiously, lips tugging up in the corner into a small smile. He swings his legs from his perched position on the counter and he finally speaks.

“Do you have a question for me?”

“Nope.”

Jaemin raises a brow, head still low as he looks up at him. “Not a single question, Renjun?” The boy sighs and hops off the counter, making his way over to him. He grabs the hand that is grasping the metal doorknob, holding it in his own. Renjun’s heart thuds heavily.

“Can you hear it?” Renjun asks, hoping to break the live wire tension between them. “My heart?”

Jaemin giggles, face close. “I’m not a cryptid. I don’t have supernatural powers.”

Because Renjun doesn’t have any form of self preservation, he brings their eloped hands to his chest, to his erratic beat.

“You make me so nervous.”

“It’s just me,” Jaemin whispers with a grin. Teeth, sharp. “Just like I said a few nights ago. It’s just me.”

“That’s the issue. You’re you. You’re Jaemin.”

“Do you not…” Jaemin trails, keeping his palm pressed to the thud of Renjun’s heart— he struggles to find the appropriate words. He understands what he’s trying to say. It’s strange to see Jaemin struggle for words.

And again, Renjun is not a patient man regarding Jaemin. Not at all. He slides a hand up Jaemin’s chest, making his way to his jaw.

The boy doesn’t say anything but his eyes seem to glimmer. Renjun takes it as encouragement and he feels the hand wrapped in his tighten at the touch of his fingers grazing the area behind his ears.

“Is this okay?” Jaemin asks, voice heavy.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you?” he retorts.

Jaemin practically purrs at Renjun’s fingers pressing the skin, stroking his ear lobe.

“You’re like a freakish cat.”

Jaemin snorts and he digs his palm into his rib cage, heart stuttering under his shirt with emphasis. “And you’re a skittish bunny.”

Renjun scowls and wraps his hand around the back of Jaemin’s neck to pull him flush against his body; the tips of their noses brush against one another.

There’s another heavy pause between them before Jaemin is closing the small gap, his free hand gliding underneath Renjun’s jaw to tilt his head upward.

The kiss is a slow pace, mouths dropping open to catch erratic breaths and glossy lips.

Renjun finds that Jaemin kisses people like his life depends on it, as if they’re a meal he’s taking his time with. Renjun is breathless as he struggles to keep the languid momentum.

“Breathe,” Jaemin reminds him, voice hushed. He sounds smug— the bastard.

“I’m trying,” Renjun whispers back, trying to glare. “You’re so…well. Um…” He’s not successful with his insults because the man is pulling at his bottom lip with razor-edged teeth. Any thoughts he had, were lost.

Renjun lets go of Jaemin’s hand that’s sitting on his chest and he curls his fingers into the raven mess of Jaemin’s stupidly-perfect hair, tugging as he rolls his body forward. The boy makes a sound that sends electricity down Renjun’s spine and he grips him even tighter, if it were possible.

Jaemin glides warm hands up the front of his shirt, and his nails catch on the skin of his stomach. He breaks apart from the kiss, leaving his lips to nuzzle into the crook of Renjun’s neck, pressing feathery kisses to the column of his throat. Renjun can’t help but tangle his fingers tighter into his hair. If it hurt, Jaemin didn’t complain.

A series of wham! wham! wham! shaking the wooden door behind them makes Renjun shove Jaemin away from to the counter him in shock, chest heaving. Donghyuck’s voice rings close behind them in a whine.

“Seriously guys? Seriously.”

Renjun turns around with a glare and rips the door open, hoping that he has suddenly developed the ability to beam radioactive laser beams from his eyes. Donghyuck stands there innocently, arms crossed.

“I’m blowing you up with my mind–”

“You’re gonna miss the movie!” his best friend cuts in. “Everyone is waiting on you two. Which, by the way, you’re both incredibly obvious. It makes me sick. You had to slide in a quickie, really? You couldn’t have waited until the night was over?” His voice has an unfamiliar edge to it.

“We weren’t having a quickie. We were just…” Renjun halts. Donghyuck sits there expectantly and looks over Renjun’s shoulder, waving to a lonely Jaemin at the counter. Jaemin gives a bright, sunny, smile and waves back. “Talking.”

Jaemin giggles.

Donghyuck rolls his eyes before he slaps the doorframe as he leaves. “Just finish up and come back.”

“Hey–” Renjun manages to grab his best friend’s shoulder, pulling him close. “Are you okay?”

Donghyuck doesn’t say anything, he just shrugs.

“Donghyuck.”

Jaemin slips past them, leaving the two in the dark of Renjun’s bedroom– “I’m gonna wait in the hallway.” Renjun just nods as he slides out of view.

“Donghyuck. I can tell when something is wrong.”

“Mark is mad at me,” Donghyuck says. “And it wasn’t even my fault this time. It was Chenle’s.”

“Huh?”

“It doesn’t matter.” The boy shoulders past him, slipping away too.

It severely hurts Renjun’s pride to come back to the rest of the group with Jaemin in tow behind him. The boy is blissfully unbothered at the fact that everyone knows and he just plops down comfortably on the couch next to Jeno, throwing his arms over the boy in a tight hug.

“Ew,” Jeno says as he pries him off. “I know where those hands have been.”

Renjun flushes and sits back down on the floor in front of Jaemin. Chenle scoots over closer to Renjun– wasn’t he just by Jisung? “Those hands weren’t anywhere so don’t even start, asshole.”

Donghyuck starts up the movie and they fall into a weird silence as they watch in awe, robots flashing over the screen, talking about some post-apocalyptic cyborg war. Renjun isn’t very interested at all, if he was being quite honest. He was more focused on the fact that Jaemin’s knees were back to caging him in. It’s Chenle that shakes Renjun from his stare off at the wall. He bumps into his shoulder, speaking in quiet Chinese not to disturb the others (and undoubtedly, to avoid the others understanding their conversation).

“What happened in there?”

Renjun plays dumb. “In where?”

“The bathroom you bastard!” Chenle gives his knee a light smack and he can feel Jaemin’s eyes peering through the back of their heads.

“Nothing.” He pretends to focus on the movie. When did humans get there?

“I’ll tell you something in exchange.”

Renjun glances over at him sharply. “Wait–” He narrows his eyes. “Are you bluffing?”

“No!” he hisses. “I’m just incredibly nosy and I need to know what is going on among my friends at all times.”

Renjun bites his bottom lip in contemplation and he looks around to find that Jisung is also staring at them. He quickly looks over at Chenle, voice hushed. “Why is he staring at us?”

Chenle rolls his eyes but Renjun can tell that there’s something else simmering underneath the surface. “Long story.”

“Everything is a long story when it comes to you.”

“Just tell me–”

“Can both of you shut the fuck up?” It’s Jeno on the couch behind them and they both turn to face the fuming boy with daggers in their eyes. Jaemin peers at them curiously, eyes glowing in the dark of the living room.

They both turn away in favor of ignoring him, but Chenle speaks quieter this time.

“Renjun. I think I’ll die if you don’t tell me.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

“This is serious. I think I’m literally about to faint because I’m so nosy.” Chenle grabs his chest in an exaggerated motion and he pretends to slowly wilt to the ground, legs sprawling out in front of him. Renjun grabs him by the sweater and heaves him back up.

“We just kissed.”

Chenle immediately perks up, eyes bright. “Oh for real?”

“Yes,” Renjun says with a roll of his eyes. “Nothing else. Now spill.”

The boy pouts, pink lips puckering up in displeasure. “I was expecting more in exchange.”

“We almost had phone sex.”

Chenle screeches and Jeno immediately grabs the pillow next to him and hits him in the head with a thick thwump!. The boy doesn’t seem to mind, as he ignores Jeno and clutches Renjun’s wrist with his freakishly large hands.

“That’s delicious!”

“You’re crazy.”

Chenle shrugs. “Maybe. Anyway, me and you-know-who kind of made up.”

“Kind of?”

“We were okay– until I made a joke about sleeping with Donghyuck and now Jisung won’t even look at me. Mark too but I’m not worried about him. It wasn’t like Donghyuck was gonna do anything about it anyway. But now I’m being blamed for their rift now too.”

“Why would Jisung be mad at you? You’re not dating, right? You two just made up.”

Chenle winces. “Well.”

It’s Renjun’s turn to sit up straight and grab the younger boy, his grip tight. “Huh?”

“No, no, no,” he quickly denies, shaking his head. “We’re…” he looks up at the ceiling and conjures his next works. “...not exactly, together.”

Renjun gestures his hands in a so? motion.

“We’re sleeping together.”

Now, Renjun is the one who actually feels like fainting. He can only stare at Chenle dumbly, trying to compute the facts together, but he only comes up blank. He didn’t really know what he expected to happen between the two– even with the knowledge that they both liked each other. It was just odd to think about the reality that they did something about this newfound knowledge.

“Oh. That changes things.”

Chenle laughs but it’s sarcastic and sour. “If you and you-know-who start fucking, please for the love of God, be dating.”

Renjun ignores him, but he shakes his head in disbelief.

“Chenle, why did you even make that joke if you two are sleeping together?”

“Because we’re only sleeping together. Not dating.”

Renjun makes a face, ‘the face’, Chenle calls it (non affectionately), and the boy presses his lips together tightly.

“I know, okay. I know. Fuck.”

Renjun can only sigh and he wraps his arm around Chenle’s shoulders, letting him rest his head on his shoulder. “It’s gonna work out.”

Chenle grumbles like a little cat, wrapping his arms around Renjun’s middle. “It just feels like I’m the one who is always screwing up.”

He squeezes the boy’s shoulder and shakes his head. “That’s not true Lele, you know that.”

“It feels like it for sure.”

Renjun can only exhale.

The next few days fly by and Renjun feels like time is slipping away.

He isn’t sure what is sliding out of his grasp exactly, but it puts him on edge. It seems like everyone else is too. He doesn’t know if it’s because Mark and Donghyuck still aren’t talking, Jisung and Chenle are skating around each other awkwardly–

(“Uh, you can go,” Chenle gestures to the cramped Jeep, door wide open.

“Ha. No, you can,” Jisung replies back awkwardly.

“It’s no worries.”

“It’s really no worries for me either—”

“Just fucking get in!” Jeno snaps from the driver’s seat. They all watch in exasperation as the two both try to climb in at the same time, knocking into each other with furious blushes.)

–or if it were for the fact that he and Jaemin had a thing going on. Whatever you called it.

They’re sprawled out on Jaemin’s bed (Renjun is incredibly surprised that Jaemin doesn’t live in the nature reserve!!!), chemistry textbook tossed to the ground in a slew of papers and stray highlighters. Jaemin rests his head on Renjun’s stomach, kissing along the material of his tshirt.

Renjun can’t remember when their ‘studying’ had been thrown away for heated makeouts but he isn’t exactly complaining, really. He also can’t pinpoint when their kisses had turned into Jaemin sliding down his body, fingers tickling the waistband of his pants.

“Jaemin,” Renjun breathes, hands gripping his shoulders. “I need to study. I’m nervous for the final exam.”

Jaemin peers up through thick lashes, eyes curious. “You know I’ll help you pass.”

“It would make it easier to understand what you’re talking about when you help me though,” Renjun notes with a frown. The boy drops his head back down to Renjun’s stomach and sighs dramatically into his shirt. He can’t help but wriggle at the warm sensation of Jaemin’s breath seeping through the material. It almost makes him go insane.

He wills himself not to get hard. Which, Renjun has a sneaking suspicion that it was Jaemin’s end goal anyway. He looks around the deceptively normal room that the boy calls home and he narrows his eyes at the black and white movie posters spaced out across the walls in neat frames.

“You like old movies?”

“I didn’t tell you?”

Renjun sits up on his elbows and peers down at him with annoyance. “Obviously not.”

Jaemin brings his hands up to Renjun’s stomach and rests his chin on them, tilting his head sideways. “I guess I’ll have to take you to go see some. Mary Ann’s always does a showing every Thursday night for black and white cinema. There’s one tonight, actually.”

“When did they even stop doing black and white films?” Renjun asks, but it’s really to nobody in particular. Weirdly enough, Jaemin has an answer.

“1966. You know, black and white cinema is an art form, much like silent films. But then these film bros had to be different and start incorporating color. Awfully tragic.” Jaemin actually scowls.

“You sound like you were there personally in 1966 to see the downfall of your favorite film technique.”

“I was. Don’t you know? I’m immortal.”

“Ah, so that explains a lot. You’re a vampire.”

Jaemin lifts himself off Renjun’s body and crawls back up him on all fours (definitely not something he’s saving for wank bank material) and he makes his landing as he plops down on him once more, elbows caging his head in.

“If I’m a vampire, explain my diet. Cookies aren’t enough to sustain me.”

“You eat children on the side. My cookies are just a cover up for your crimes and you actually go back to the woods to throw them back up.”

“That’s a lot of work.” Jaemin’s eyes glimmer a striking amber in the sunlight of his room.

“And I’m next on the menu for you to eat.”

“You can be,” Jaemin whispers, leaning down to brush his nose against Renjun’s cheek.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”

“I liked it better when you were a cryptid weirdo.”

Jaemin snorts, pulling back. Up close he’s reminded that Jaemin has freckles that litter the bridge of his nose and trail the apples of his cheeks.

“I still am. I just insinuated that I was going to literally eat you.”

Renjun hums. “I suppose.” It’s so hard to focus when a beautiful Jaemin of all people, was pressing his body against his and fluttering ridiculously long eyelashes. He gets the urge to kiss him– but he shoves it back down.

Enough.

Jaemin rolls off him and reaches down to find the textbook that was left to be a heap on the floor. He brings it back up to the bed and settles down next to Renjun, wriggling his shoulders cutely, in a pretty pout. “If you want to study then…”

Renjun shoots him a really glare and he takes the book into his own hands. It’s kind of hard to read and study while lying down (especially next to Jaemin) but he manages to make some progress in carbon-containing compounds. The boy next to him seems content as he hums and scrolls through Instagram, occasionally laughing at several pictures of cats on tricycles.

Jaemin’s notes in the margins are very– “Jaemin”. The boy has drawn clouds around important words and then, a penis next to the word “compound” that had the o crossed out for a u. A little cat in glasses sits on the corner of the practice question page with a word bubble that says “science rules!”.

bigdong: i want 2 die

bigdong: junnie!!!!!!!!!

bigdong: stop making out with nana nd help me

huang renjun the 3rd duke of china: i’m actually studying thank u

bigdong: studying what? cockology?

bigdong: mark isn’t talking to me

Jaemin peers over his shoulder curiously.

“Wasn’t he the one that wasn’t talking to him first?”

Renjun glances over and has to steady himself because the boy’s face was so close to his– lashes fluttering.

“Yes– stop being nosy! You’re worse than Chenle. I can’t break friend code, look away.”

huang renjun the 3rd duke of china: weren’t you the one that started it?

bigdong: what happened to women supporting women?

huang renjun the 3rd duke of china: have you tried apologizing?

bigdong: and say what?

bigdong: sorry that i like you and freak out that i like you and sorry that chenle said we were fucking when we weren’t!!!!!!!!!!

“Yes?” Jaemin says, chin resting on Renjun’s shoulder.

“Stop reading!”

huang renjun the 3rd duke of china: yes. hope this helps!

bigdong: okay!

bigdong: finally tell jaemin you have a big fat colossal crush on him and then I’ll do that

Renjun immediately throws his phone across the room.

The device hits his floor with a clatter and he says nothing. Jaemin, who still has his chin perched between Renjun’s shoulder and neck, says nothing.

“Well,” Renjun says into the thick silence that has suddenly fallen over the room.

He can feel the boy’s face slowly turn, looking at Renjun, who has his eyes trained on the cracks of the ceiling once more, eyes wide.

“Renjunnie,” he begins in a cute voice. That voice.

“No!” Renjun all but screams into his hands. Jaemin’s cackle echoes through the tiny bedroom and the boy turns over on his stomach in misery. Jaemin’s hand tugs at his sleeve trying to pull him back around to him.

“Cute!’

“No!” but Renjun’s voice is muffled into Jaemin’s pillow (that smells incredibly nice, by the way) and he bunches the covers over his head. Jaemin, with an inhuman amount of strength, rolls him over on his back and throws himself over his body with glee.

“What did it say?” Jaemin asks curiously, eyes glimmering.

Wait.

“Huh?”

“I said—”

Renjun sits up. “You didn’t read it?”

Jaemin shakes his head. “No. You threw your phone too fast.”

Renjun feels his embarrassment wilter, heart thudding to a slow beat once more, and he regards the boy suspiciously. “So why did you act like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like a— you got all cat and called me cute, doing that freak voice…”

“Because, obviously, you’re hiding something and being cute about it.”

Renjun stares. “Okay. Well.”

“What was it?”

“Best friend stuff.”

“Vague. Are you gonna go get your phone?”

“No,” Renjun replies haughtily, getting up to go get his phone. He doesn’t make it far with his crawl over Jaemin because the boy’s fingers are tickling his sides.

They can’t help but collapse to the side of the bed in a heap of giggles.

Jaemin ends up taking him to Mary Ann’s.

They stand by the popcorn machine, the carpet that smelled of old must, was soft with age beneath their feet. He figures Jaemin must’ve found this place in search of his beloved old cinema, and he has to admit that there’s a certain charm to the old theater. It was empty except for the two and the old man at the counter.

“It opened in 1906,” he says, taking a big dig of popcorn with a metal scooper. He plops it into the bucket as he talks. “Actually the same year as the Omnia Pathe Cinema, one of the oldest theaters in Paris.” He says Paris with a fancy, exaggerated accent.

Renjun looks around and eyes the tear dropped chandeliers that look one sneeze away from crashing to the ground. Jaemin follows his sight and smiles.

“The ticket area isn’t exactly the prettiest. Wait until you see the inside of the movie rooms. Maybe the ghost of Gloria Swanson will be there, pacing the aisle, saying nothing.”

“Am I supposed to know who that is? What if I want to see Brad Pitt?”

“Billy Wilder’s Sunset Boulevard?”

Renjun shakes his head.

“She was one of the biggest stars of the silent movie era, and is someone who also just-so-happens to share a birthday with you.” Jaemin says it like it’s obvious. “Do you think that if we spin you around three times and then push you into the screen, you’ll come out talking in a transatlantic accent?”

“You know my birthday?”

Jaemin pouts, ignoring him. “I think, maybe, you might just come out with her signature mole on your chin.”

It’s Renjun’s turn to disregard his statement, rolling his eyes.

The boy wasn’t joking when he said the movie room was the best part. It was as if they stepped right into the Edwardian era, a tiny fragment of time frozen right beneath his feet. The terra-cotta, plasterwork, and asymmetrical ceilings were all indicators of the true age.

Jaemin ushers him to their seats, the buttery popcorn in hand. He beams at Renjun, a smug tug of his lips at the look of awe on his face. The film crackles as it rolls, flickering the dull range of shades between black and white across their features.

Throughout the movie, Jaemin talks of nickel plated parts, lacquered brass, roll film, and Vest Pocket cameras. Although it isn’t something Renjun cared to learn about himself, Jaemin speaks of it with such a deep interest he can’t help but listen intently. He can even place names to old Hollywood faces that glimmer across the screen, pointing out the original “nepo” babies.

He stops his information dump on Renjun to ask for a cookie. While he had actually eaten some of the popcorn he kindly got for them, clearly he was craving something else. Renjun rolls his eyes but pulls out a bag for the boy.

“Oh my God, you actually brought some?”

“Yes?”

“I could kiss you,” Jaemin chirps with excitement, taking the ziplock gratefully. He tosses two cookies into his mouth and Renjun wrinkles his nose. The boy does a double glance at Renjun’s expression. “Against kissing me?”

“No.”

Jaemin smiles and his teeth gleam in the light of the screen. He looks around the cinema, double checking that they really were alone. He didn’t think that the old man at the counter would come to check on them, as he looked like he hadn’t moved from the ticket booth in the last 113 years.

(“Bert is an icon,” Jaemin insists.)

He tosses the bag to the seat next to them and leans across velvet armrests to slide his hand up Renjun’s neck, tugging him close by the hair at the nape of his neck. He doesn’t say anything and he watches as the amber of Jaemin’s eyes spark.

“Come here,” Jaemin coos. He brings his other hand forward and trails a single finger down Renjun’s neck, landing in the dip of his collarbone. The boy was perfect at leading their kisses and he found that he liked that Jaemin was so bold in every move he made. He wonders how Jaemin sees him.

Renjun listens and he closes the little space between them, his own hands finding their home in Jaemin’s jacket. He closes his fingers around the bunched material around his waist, nose bumping against his. The boy takes the nudge of skin to deepen the kiss and he sighs into Renjun’s mouth.

It catches him off guard when Jaemin pulls away from his lips.

“What are y–”

Jaemin makes an eep! noise and latches his teeth onto the round part of Renjun’s cheeks, lips closing on skin. Renjun makes a noise of surprise and his hands that are around the boy’s waist scramble to push him away. Jaemin’s laugh echoes in the theater along with Renjun’s squeaks.

“What was that?!”

Jaemin detaches himself with a pop and he grins, arms wrapped around Renjun’s neck.

“You were just so cute I couldn’t help it.”

Renjun stares at him. “So you bit my cheek?”

“Yeah,” Jaemin says proudly. He pinches where his mouth is and he squeezes, moving Renjun’s face with the action. His lips form a pout and he makes a kissy face in excitement as he talks. “Just so, so, so cute!”

“M’ not…cute. I’m a grown man.”

Jaemin doesn’t listen and he goes back to their previous position, pulling Renjun back in for a kiss. He gives Renjun his signature smile and he can’t help but grin back– even if he was annoyed that the boy had interrupted their kiss for that.

“Can I kiss you again?”

Renjun grumbles and leans back in. It doesn’t take long for them to fall back into the groove (especially when Jaemin doesn’t interrupt the moment with his strange antics and urges to squish Renjun into a little ball), and he finds his hands back on Jaemin’s waist again. It’s an innocent action of kissing but he can’t help but want more. The boy hadn’t taken it further other than kissing along his stomach and fingers dipping just at the band of his pants; that was all they had done. Perhaps it was a gateway that could’ve led to more, but it was as if something was stopping them.

Renjun carefully slides his hands down Jaemin’s waist to his thighs and he uses them as leverage to lean into their kiss more. The boy only kisses him deeper, tightening in his hair. Renjun takes it as a sign and he squeezes Jaemin’s thighs, pulling away from their kiss. He leans back in, tongue nudging into the other’s mouth, tracing teeth. The man makes a noise of appreciation and he takes it as victory.

Renjun stops their kiss and Jaemin watches in confusion as Renjun gets up out of his chair. His eyes widen momentarily as Renjun drops to his knees in front of him in his seat. Using the armrests as leverage he leans up and catches his laps back into another languid press of lips and tongue.

Renjun’s hands slide up his thighs and presses his shirt up above the button of his jeans. Jaemin’s hands catch him and he raises an eyebrow.

“Are you seriously gonna blow me here?”

“Yeah? Is that okay?”

Jaemin’s look of incredulity slips off his features and turns into a look of amusement. “Of course it’s okay. More than okay. I can’t believe you’re asking.”

“It’s called manners.”

“You can do anything you want to me,” Jaemin says, matter-of-factly. “Even if Gloria Swanson is watching.”

“Please don’t mention another person while I’m trying to suck your dick,” Renjun pleads.

Jaemin makes a zipping of his lips motion, pretending to throw away the key behind his shoulder. Renjun has to remind himself why he wants to fuck him so bad.

Jaemin sucks in a deep breath as Renjun noses along his stomach, lips dragging across the warm, smooth skin. His thighs brush his ears and Renjun grabs the flesh of his leg, tossing one of them over his shoulder. Jaemin giggles breathlessly.

Carefully, his thumb and pointer finger undo the button of his jeans and pops them open, looking up one more time for confirmation. Jaemin is looking down at him, his smile soft as he strokes the back of Renjun’s hair. He scratches his scalp and coos.

“Don’t coo– for the love of God.”

“Don’t mention another person while you’re trying to suck my dick,” Jaemin mirrors from earlier. Renjun scowls but doesn’t have a quick comeback to bite out.

Jaemin helps him pull his cock out, long fingers overlapping his, slipping into underwear, and Renjun sits back on his calves and watches with heavy eyes. Jaemin’s hands curl back around his neck and he strokes the skin there in encouragement. Renjun nuzzles into his lap, taking his time. He didn’t care if the movie was going to be over soon.

Jaemin’s leg over his shoulder twitches as his warm breath hits the base of his cock. His face was an open book and Renjun hopes that the dark of the cinema hides the flush on his face. Here, in the flickering lights of the large screen, he can see the way he sits prettily, hard against his stomach. He didn’t expect to find it pretty but, alas, Jaemin was different– wasn’t he?

Renjun traces a finger from the wet tip to the thick base and he watches as his dick barely trembles, stomach sucking in at the sensation. Jaemin doesn’t say anything but he can sense the impatience simmering underneath his touches; his hips shift upward at the motion of Renjun’s fingertips and he grips the armrest with tight fingers.

“Impatient,” Renjun laughs, teasingly.

“Slow,” Jaemin shoots out in good humor. He catches his own bottom lip, dragging it between his teeth as Renjun finally presses a hot mouth to the crown. His spit slicked lips dragged over the tip, tongue dropping out his mouth to catch whatever precome that was leaking down the length. The boy’s calf pushes down on Renjun’s back to bring him closer.

Renjun looks up with a glare. “Are you trying to make me choke?”

Jaemin grins. “You haven’t even actually sucked my cock yet. You’ve just– holy fuck–”

His words are cut short as Renjun swallows Jaemin, throat closing over him tightly, lips tucked behind teeth. Jaemin’s hips stutter upward and Renjun’s palms close over his hip bones to keep him in place. He can feel the tip pressing into the softest part of his throat and he squeezes his eyes shut to focus on breathing through his nose. He slides back up with a hollow of his cheeks and Jaemin makes a noise of deep appreciation.

“Junnie,” he whispers, “you look so pretty like this, yeah?”

Renjun tries not to make a noise at the praise and his lips break off the suction at the tip of Jaemin’s cock, a lewd wet sound that makes both of them inhale sharply. The boy’s grip tightens on his hair and he tugs, eliciting a tiny moan. He takes Jaemin back in his mouth and slips his hand back up his torso, fingers digging into his side. He uses the warm feeling of Jaemin’s skin underneath his nails to ground himself as he goes back down on him.

He can feel the way the head of his dick catches on his throat and Renjun’s eyes water and he has to take a deep breath around him. Jaemin is gentle as he guides his mouth off his cock, only letting the head rest on his tongue. Renjun just shook his head to show Jaemin that he was fine he just needed a moment. He goes back to gripping the base of his cock and letting it messily smear in the inside of his cheek, tongue curling around the underside.

“Careful,” Jaemin murmurs, voice weak. Renjun feels victorious. He uses his free hand to stroke Renjun’s cheek, thumb pressing the skin where his tip bulges through. Renjun feels Jaemin’s thumb glide into his mouth. The boy gathers the spit and precome pooling on his tongue, sliding it back over his lips in a messy fashion. It’s so gross, but Renjun can’t help but twitch in his jeans.

Renjun glances up at him through lashes and Jaemin smiles– he pulls off him.

“Freak.”

Jaemin giggles.

He can’t deny it and Jaemin can read it in his expression. He grips Renjun by the throat– he makes a noise– and pulls him toward his lips. Renjun has to steady himself on Jaemin’s thighs as his knees scramble off the ground.

Jaemin kisses him with a mixture of too much spit, tongue, and teeth; Renjun melts into it, kissing back just as eagerly. The smack of their lips is enough to send a shiver wracking through his body. Jaemin notices and he pulls Renjun all the way up finally, settling him into his lap. His cock sits between them, still leaking precome, straining. He thinks it looks borderline painful but Jaemin doesn’t show any hint of uncomfortableness as he kisses Renjun.

He snakes his hand down and wraps it around him and the boy moans into his mouth. Jaemin whispers against the shell of his ear with a pant.

“Let’s get you off too, Junnie.”

Renjun rests his forehead against his as Jaemin undoes the button of his pants, reaching long fingers into his underwear. He watches Jaemin’s face as he pulls his dick out, mouth dropping slightly open as he pulls their dicks together with one hand. Jaemin looks up at him through fanned out lashes and he gives him a quick, gentle kiss on the cheek.

They both look down to watch as Jaemin’s slender fingers wrap around their cocks, large hands sliding up to gather the precome and left over spit from Renjun. While Jaemin was closer to the edge than him, his quick and wet pace had him gripping his shoulders in a tight clutch. He can feel his own stomach caving in with his hurried breaths, hips rocking forward. Jaemin’s arm encircles his waist and he strokes Renjun’s sides as he pushes them toward their orgasm.

Renjun’s lips trail against his neck, nudging him with his nose. He drops several random kisses along the skin, biting into heated flesh. Jaemin’s whimpers only drag him closer to his finish and he moans against the hollow of his throat.

“Feels s’ good,” he whispers. Jaemin leans down to capture his mouth and he kisses him senseless, grip tight, squeezing them together at the tip.

“Yeah?” Jaemin’s voice is hushed as well. “How good?”

“The best,” Renjun whimpers, nails digging into his shoulders. “You’re the best.”

“What were you thinking about when you got yourself off?” Jaemin murmurs, lips grazing his ear. Renjun shudders.

He laughs breathlessly. “That’s a secret, Nana.”

“Minnie,” he corrects. “Minnie, for you.”

Renjun bites back his moan as Jaemin’s hand picks up the pace even more and he has to focus on finding his words, not the slick sound of their cocks pressing against one another in the embrace of his warm palm.

“You’ll find out eventually, Minnie.”

This pleases Jaemin and he grins, pulling Renjun against his chest. He can’t find it in himself to worry about come getting on their shirts. He’s more preoccupied with the way Jaemin sounds, the way his face looks when he’s on the brink, on the way his body trembles underneath Renjun’s vice grip. It’s all too much, and he gasps into Jaemin’s mouth with warning.

“Jaemin—Minnie, M’ gonna…”

“Go on,” he urges, “do it for me, baby.”

And okay. Okay. If Renjun immediately comes at the word baby… the tenderness of the word, that’s for him only. Him and his dick later, only. Maybe Jaemin too.

Out of habit, he squeezes his eyes shut tightly at the feeling of his orgasm. Jaemin peppers kisses all over his face; kisses landing over his eyelashes, the tops of his cheeks, the tip of his flushed nose, and where his jaw meets his neck.

Renjun in a post-orgasm haze bats away the boy’s come slicked hand and replaces it with his own. He spits down between them, not caring about his own sensitivity, and Jaemin slinks down in his seat with pleasure fluttering over his face.

He comes with a few tight twists and Renjun can’t help but watch in awe as he comes over his fingers, hands closed tightly over his waist in a death grip. Up close, he can see the way his eyebrows furrow slightly, lips parting in waves of pleasure. It’s his turn to spoil him with soft kisses.

Renjun kisses Jaemin through his orgasm, coaxing him with pretty words, and nonsense that he’s sure the boy will make fun of later. He tastes like cookies, butter, and a bit of salt.

Jaemin finally opens his eyes and he strokes his back, a warm palm sliding up his shirt, drawing shapes.

He hums a gentle, “pretty.”

Renjun leans in to kiss him once more but the loud click of the lights flickering on sends him jumping out of his own skin. Jaemin holds on to him tightly, a laugh reverberating through the empty cinema hall.

“I missed the ending,” Rejun complains, lips pouting.

“Oh,” Jaemin chirps, “Greta Garbo falls through the ice and drowns.”

“What the fuck?”

“Hollywood,” he says with a shrug.

Chenle is wearing sunglasses when Renjun meets him outside the campus gym. The boy had text him a cryptic, vague request.

chenle (maybe): campus gym

renjunnie: hot ppl there?

chenle (maybe): no I need u to meet me there

chenle (maybe): and of course there are hot people here

chenle (maybe): I’ll be the one in sunglasses

Renjun raises a brow as he greets him at the doors and he looks back behind him, hoping to find the cause of the boy’s getup.

“If you’re wondering why I look like I’m in hiding, I am,” Chenle answers to Renjun’s questioning look. The younger Chinese man looks around suspiciously and he begins to walk as he talks.

“So glad you could meet me here today.”

“Why are you talking like a mob boss?” Renjun asks, jogging to keep up with his fast pace. They turn the sharp concrete corner that leads to behind the gym, taking them to the entrance of the nature reserve. He ignores him.

“Because I may need to hire one.”

Renjun glances at him nervously. “You probably shouldn’t say that to me considering you have the money and power to be able to accomplish a hit.”

Chenle doesn’t say anything. “Chenle.”

“I’m not gonna put a hit out on Jisung, chill your cock.”

“That saying doesn’t even make sense and–wait. Jisung?”

“It’s code red. Code Mark red.”

“Since when did we adopt ‘code mark’ in our friend group vernacular?”

“It’s always been there,” Chenle quips. “You just never no-”

“-ticed. Yeah. Okay.”

“You’re missing the point, Renjun! Jisung has put me into a crisis.”

They stop in front of the nature reserve and Renjun turns to face him. “I have so many questions and the first one is why the fuck we are here.”

“Because we need absolute secrecy from everyone. Nobody is gonna overhear what I’m about to say while we’re here. Except, maybe, your freaky ass boyfriend that prowls the place for your shitty cookies and lost souls.”

Renjun pauses. “Shitty?”

“They’re absolutely horrible, Renjun. Seriously. He eats them because he likes you. Enough, this is about me right now.” He gestures for Renjun to enter first and he regards him with a seething look as he begrudgingly enters the grand metal archway leading into the thicket.

Chenle finally relaxes and he takes off his sunglasses that aim to ‘disguise’ him.

“Those are a horrible disguise by the way. Everyone knows you’re Chenle just by looking at you. You’re not discreet with your Loro Piana.”

Chenle looks at him in surprise. “You know that brand?”

“Can you just get to the point?” “Right,” Chenle begins. “The point. Well.”

Renjun waits patiently as they walk– he realizes he’s not even that scared of the nature reserve anymore. The thick green leaves, dark soil, and cracked sidewalk are kind of pretty when the sun is high in the afternoon like this.

“It’s partially Jisung and partially Mark and Donghyuck.”

“I thought you said–?”

“I was afraid to say Mark and Donghyuck because what if they have spies watching me right now?”

“You’re the one with that power, Lele.”

Chenle looks at Renjun like he’s stupid. “Junnie. Mark knows everyone here, someone would snitch if they heard us.”

“The point, Chenle.”

Chenle looks miffed. “Jisung and I hooked up again.”

Renjun sighs.

“What?! Like you’re not hooking up with Jaemin– we’re not blind. You can do it but I can’t?”

“I thought y’all were having issues?”

“We were. And then we made up.”

“By fucking?” Renjun says pointedly.

“Great fucking,” Chenle sighs wistfully. “Now it’s awkward. Again. But not because we had sex.”

It’s Renjun’s turn to look confused and Chenle crosses his arms, looking up at the sky, as if he were embarrassed for what he was going to say next.

“But because I told my parents that I wasn’t gay anymore to get back in the inheritance.”

Renjun stops walking completely. “Oh no.”

“And I was supposed to introduce Jisung to them next week. And I, uh–” he winces, “told him that I didn’t want him to meet them.”

“Chenle,” Renjun groans. The boy waves his arms dramatically and his voice goes up several pitches.

“Renjun! I came to you in confidence and hopes that you wouldn’t judge me.”

“I’m not judging you, I just can’t believe…” he trails off and the boy looks at him with a told-you-so. “Okay, so I’m judging you a little bit. But– it doesn’t mean I don’t understand why you did it. Why didn’t you just tell him the truth, though?”

“Because.” He looks guilty, giving his best smile to Renjun. “I lied to him in the first place?” He grimaces bashfully

“Zhong Chenle.”

“But!” he holds his hands up in defense “It was because I didn’t want him to have any doubts about how I felt about him. I just needed him to understand that I would like him regardless of my parents.”

“But you’re proving that to be the exact opposite.”

“It’s complicated,” he says, huffing. “I need to be back in the inheritance. I was just gonna say fuck it and introduce him to my parents. Then I realized I could stay in their good graces, keep Jisung, and actually make a life for myself and him.”

“That’s…”

“Sweet, charming, amazing of me?” Chenle jokes but the smile doesn’t quite reach his face.

“Lele. Just be honest with Jisung and explain the situation. Instead of saying something that would lead him to think you’re embarrassed of him. I’m sure he would appreciate your honesty and dedication to keeping him as your…?” his hands gesture animatedly.

“We don’t have a label.”

Renjun looks at him unimpressed.

“So what is Jaemin?” Chenle shoots back, proudly, a smug triumphant smile stretched across his face.

“Ha,” Renjun replies without humor. “Not about me.”

“I think I just need to move countries,” Chenle says up at the sky. “How does Greece sound? They have grapes, right? I love grapes.”

“This could all be fixed if you just tell him the truth.”

“Truth-smuth. Wanna hear about Mark and Donghyuck’s drama?”

Renjun can’t help but look away as if he were uninterested. But Chenle knows him, knows that he lives for a little bit of gossip. That’s all they did, really, if Renjun thought about it.

“They—”

“--Hi.”

Jaemin appears out of nowhere, causing both the boys to wail in terror. Chenle practically jumps into Renjun’s arms and he has to steady them as they stumble off the sidewalk into the grass. Jaemin stands before them in confusion.

“What?”

“What do you mean what?” Chenle screeches. He grips Renjun tightly, looking at him with incredulity. “Renjun. Get your fucking boyfriend a bell.”

“Not my boyfriend.”

Jaemin pauses and he looks at Renjun, expression unreadable. “We’re not?”

Chenle glances between them awkwardly and quickly diffuses the situation by changing the conversation. “You interrupted a very important discussion.”

Jaemin directs his attention back to Chenle. “About how Mark and Donghyuck are hooking up too?”

Renjun almost faints. Chenle steadies him and shakes him out of it; he turns back to face the cryptid. “You stole my moment.”

“I thought everyone knew?”

“They do. Except for–”

Renjun’s lethal glare immediately brings the duo to a halt and they look at him sheepishly.

“Sorry,” Jaemin says, with an apologetic smile.

“When and how?”

Chenle practically vibrates in excitement. “The other night when you and Jaemin were doing God knows what, at God knows where, Jeno said he came home early and that he could hear them in Mark’s room–”

“Are we sure that they were fucking?”

“Jeno swears on his Grand Cherokee.”

Renjun looks at him skeptically. “Jeno’s word isn’t exactly…”

Chenle presses his lips together in a small line. He looks at him impassively and turns to Jaemin.

“You.”

“Me?” Jaemin points to himself.

“You’re somehow everywhere all at once.”

Jaemin smiles. “How much are you gonna pay me?”

Chenle narrows his eyes and he shifts to his other foot, a deep sigh in the forest. He then shrugs and plops his shades back on.

“You know what. I like you. Five Thousand.”

Renjun almost faints for the third time today and he shakes the younger boy’s arm in disbelief. Chenle wriggles out of his grasp and steps back.

“You don’t even know what’s going on in your life half of the time. Why would I have you do some sleuthing?”

“Donghyuck is literally my best friend,” Renjun points out.

“Good, that means you can help Jaemin— if he even needs it.”

Jaemin salutes him with two fingers and Chenle sends a heart back his way.

“You know,” Renjun says, twirling his fork around his plate. “Chenle said my cookies were gross.”

Jaemin hums from the floor of the living room, putting together a Lego Battleship with Jisung. Too many little pieces were littered around the floor for Renjun to attempt to make it back to his room with both feet still intact.

Renjun hadn’t heard from Jaemin all day, yet he was met with the sight of him as he burst through the door with Jisung, a large bag in hand. They both looked caught at the image of Renjun sitting peacefully on the couch writing an essay. Clearly, he was meant to be gone.

Renjun understood why they were hoping everyone would be busy when they sheepishly revealed the giant unopened box. And when Jisung nervously explained that they wanted to build it here.

“They’re not gross,” Jaemin replies, handing a microscopic piece to Jisung. They had the lamp from the stand on the floor, burning bright down on the instructions. “They’re the best tasting cookies of my life.”

Jisung looks up at Jaemin with an unreadable expression. Renjun ignores it. The boy then does a double take at Renjun, spluttering at his expectant eyes.

“What?”

“Do you like them, Jisung?”

He busies himself with the light, finger tracing fine print. “Never had them—” he hesitates, “hyung.”

“Hyung?” Renjun narrows his eyes. “Since when did you care for honorifics?”

The boy looks indignant. “Always!”

Jaemin makes a noise and holds up their partially built Lego battleship. Jisung’s hands scramble underneath it for support and he looks at Jaemin with terror at his carelessness.

“Isn’t she beautiful?”

“She’s not done yet.”

“Boo,” Jaemin waves a flippant hand in his face. The ship wobbles and Jisung makes a strangled noise as he catches it.

“You’re both awful,” all Renjun says.

Renjun eyes Donghyuck from across the table at Slades. The dive bar was strangely busy for it to be 5pm, but he shouldn’t complain— it helped fill the silence that was sitting between all of them.

Fights had happened in their friend group before. (See, e.g., Chenle and Renjun Cold War). And it had simmered down to something bearable. (See also, e.g., Post Cold War Treaty Negotiations).

Once, Renjun and Donghyuck had gotten into an argument that lasted two weeks, all over an empty water bottle. They still managed to be amicable and let the tension fade away into the void. But now, this was different.

When lines had been crossed between friendship, it made for an awkward weekly get together.

Chenle sits next to Renjun, thumbing his screen, not even actually looking at anything of great importance. Mark sits by Jeno, with a textbook. Studying— at a bar. Jisung looks incredibly uncomfortable next to Donghyuck. It’s only Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun who speak. Still, the silence is suffocating. It felt especially strangling for the fact that Renjun wasn’t supposed to know anything that was going on between the couples. Jeno seems blissfully unaware and he quibbles with Jaemin about the ethics of aliens and captivity.

Renjun tries to nudge Chenle to get him to speak but he only scowls up at him when his knee makes contact.

“So,” he starts. “What are you studying Mark?”

“School.” He doesn’t even glance up when he answers. His eyes weren’t even moving on the paper.

Renjun looks at the boy impassively and nobody moves or makes an effort to speak. He needed another shot down his throat just to get through the night. Jaemin, who seemingly knows everything, slid his own drink over.

“Drink up.”

Renjun takes it gratefully and crosses his arms, assessing his friends.

“So,” he starts, again, “are we just going to play the silence game?”

“We’re playing a game?” Donghyuck jokes lightly, but his voice doesn’t quite reach comedic status. This makes Mark look up and he raises a brow.

“Some of us are.”

Chenle snorts and Jisung coughs uncomfortably.

Donghyuck just looks pissed and he laughs incredulously. “Oh. Okay.”

“Is that all you have to say?” Mark presses. Jeno finally seems to catch on that something is going down and his eyes shift between the seven of them at the rounded oak. His own catch Renjun and he widens them as to signal do something!

Jaemin taps the table awkwardly and the tension becomes suffocating. Mark did not confront people; Mark avoided people. Maybe that’s what starts it for everyone.

“Mark, leave it,” Chenle says softly but it only makes the other boy even more angry. He looks back down at his textbook and shrugs.

“Just like how you left Jisung?”

It’s like the air had been sucked out of the room and there’s an audible shift in the bar. Jeno laughs uneasily and puts his hand out across the table, nervous.

“Guys, let’s just take a second–”

“And what?” Donghyuck interrupts. “Act like everyone isn’t fucking each other? Or that some people are being dicks?”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Chenle’s voice is sharp.

“Don’t play stupid. Everyone knows how you’re just stringing Jisung along and we all have to watch it happen, especially since you won’t even talk to anyone about it except Renjun.”

“That’s actually fucking hilarious,” Chenle says with a smile that makes Renjun a little nervous, “because you’re letting Mark fawn over you like a puppy just because you like the attention.”

Donghyuck’s eyes harden and he speaks stiffly. “You know that’s not what I’m doing.”

Jisung’s voice is gentle. “You’re both being ridiculous. Just drop it okay?”

“You’re just gonna let him treat you like that?” Donghyuck asks incredulously.

Jisung turns to Mark. “And are you going to let him,” he points to Donghyuck, “treat you like that?”

Betrayal falls over his best friend’s face and Mark does nothing but press his lips together tightly. Jeno sighs and runs his hands through his hair, grabbing another shot off the platter that Molly had left for them on the center of the table.

“All four of you look stupid as fuck right now,” Jeno mumbles before he takes a shot.

“Us?” Chenle fires back. “This doesn’t even involve you. This doesn’t involve you because you’re not even around enough anymore to have a say in anything.”

“Why are you dragging me into it? I didn’t do anything, Chenle.”

“That’s the problem!” Chenle’s voice raises. “You always wanna play Switzerland and act like you’re above us. You’re always gone and you always pick sides.”

“Are you being actually serious right now?” Jeno says, eyes wide, appalled. “You’re just looking for an argument because you’re pissed off. Drop it.”

Then it’s Mark that chimes in. “Get out of our business, Jeno.”

Donghyuck laughs. “Our? Chenle and Jisung aren’t involved in this either.”

“Everyone,” Renjun says quietly. The table’s bickering voices immediately halt and everyone looks at him as if they had forgotten he was there. Jaemin sits next to him in a silent, peaceful manner. He swirls his glass around as if he were bored. “I think that’s enough. All of you.”

He has a moment of hope before Donghyuck’s voice rings clear, cutting through whatever calm he had placed before them.

“So nobody is gonna call you out?”

“And what exactly would you call Renjun out for?” Jaemin’s voice finally joins the conversation. It’s so icy, sharp, and metallic that it puts an immediate hush over everyone. Even Renjun pauses at the taste of his words. Jaemin takes a slow sip of his water before he speaks.

“He’s the one that’s been scrambling around trying to talk and solve everyone’s problems. Problems that aren’t even his own. But he was doing it because he cares about all of you, enough to put himself in uncomfortable situations just to get the truth out. Don’t worry about Renjun and I, because I have our situation handled.”

Renjun can’t help but flush and regard his friends with a heart that thuds too quickly in his chest. He hadn’t thought of it that way. Hadn’t thought about the fact that he was trying to get everyone’s problems solved and that he was ignoring his own. He repeats Jaemin’s words in his brain, looping. I have our situation handled.

Jaemin stands up and sticks his hand out for Renjun to take. “I’m gonna take Renjun home. It’s about time all of you solved your own issues.”

He watches his friends’ faces fall into a sheen of shame and embarrassment. They knew Jaemin was right. And one thing about his friend group, they didn’t like to be wrong. He carefully takes Jaemin’s hand, letting his palm guide him out.

“Also,” Jaemin turns around to face them before they leave, “grow up and leave Jeno out of it.”

They catch the train home.

Renjun can’t help but sit in silence as he stares out the window, streetlights whipping past them at a speed that his brain can’t even begin to comprehend. He knows that Jaemin only said what he had been wanting to, but he can’t help but feel bad that he had left them behind.

“They need to do it on their own,” Jaemin’s words are gentle, spoken in a careful manner. “You are seriously stretching yourself thin trying to fix problems that can only be solved by the people who started them.”

“I just wanna help,” Renjun replies finally looking over at him. Jaemin managed to look beautiful, even under the dull lights of the train. He laughs, but it’s not unkind.

“There’s a difference between helping and making something your own. You can give advice, talk to them, but you can’t do it all the time, Junnie.” He turns his body toward him, knee-knocking into his thighs. “Seriously. I think why you’re so unaware of things in your friend group is because you’re trying to give everyone crazy amounts of attention to their problems. You’re trying to work on Chenle’s issues that he’s been dealing with since he was, I dunno, like twelve, Renjun.”

“They’re good people,” Renjun says pathetically.

“I know. They’re great people. They’re my friends now, I hope. Because I see them that way.” “They adore you,” he says with a smile. Jaemin smiles back and he squeezes Renjun’s hand tightly, three times.

“Maybe not right now,” he says thoughtfully.

“They don’t like anyone right now,” Renjun snorts. “They didn’t even like Jeno and he didn’t even do anything.”

“That was kind of funny, you have to admit it.” Jaemin’s grin is crooked and Renjun smacks his knee with little force.

“Maybe so.”

They jostle as the train bustles forward and Renjun taps his fingers on his own legs, watching as his feet jitter nervously. There was a weird pause between them, as if both were playing back the moment Jaemin had come to his defense.

“So,” he begins, “what did you mean by handling our situation?” He places the phrase in air quotes. Jaemin only giggles (like the freak that he is) and he shrugs.

“What do you think?”

“Well. Um.”

Jaemin waits patiently.

Renjun fiddles with the edge of his jacket. “This feels weird.”

“It’s not that weird,” he assures him, scrunching his nose. “You make things weird.”

“I’m not trying to.”

Jaemin rolls his eyes. “I’m well aware. Go on.”

“Our…” he looks around, “situationship.”

Jaemin regards him with one eyebrow raised and his mouth twisted in amusement. “Is that what we are?”

“I guess?”

“Guess again.”

“Um. Boyfriend-ship?”

“That’s…better?” Jaemin’s voice goes higher, dubious. “I would drop the ‘ship’ part though.”

“You blow someone once and suddenly you’re dating,” Renjun jokes, heart thudding. Jaemin laughs and knocks his shoulder into Renjun’s, voice going into a cute coo. “Junnie, you’re so awful about these kinds of things.”

“I don’t really have experience in these kinds of things,” he says, repeating his words.

Jaemin looks thoughtful as he watches the streetlamps whirl past them. “Me either.”

“You never dated anyone?”

“Once,” Jaemin replies, bringing his attention back to Renjun. “But it was a silly thing. More sex focused than relationship. Honestly the opposite of us, or at least, what I want for us.”

Us.

“You’re saying you want…more?”

“With you? Yes.”

Renjun presses his lips together and he looks anywhere but at Jaemin. The boy laughs and he slides his hand down Renjun’s thigh and into his open palm once more. Their fingers squeeze together and he watches as their hands fit perfectly together.

“I just don’t know,” Jaemin continues, “if you want the same for us.”

“I do.” Jaemin’s eyes flicker up to Renjun’s nervous ones. “I want a lot for us. It just feels silly to say out loud.”

“Silly to say that you want something?”

Renjun taps his feet on the hard metal ground of the train, lights flickering as they fly through the empty tunnels. “Silly to want a person.”

“Do you remember when I said you could ask me anything?” Jaemin inquires, voice curious. Renjun raises a brow and nods. “And do you remember when I said you’re not asking the right questions?”

“Of course. It made me want to strangle you.”

“Romantic, if you think about it,” Jaemin muses.

“Fuck off.”

“You already know the right question, Renjun.” He completely ignores Renjun’s jab. “I just think you’re scared to ask me.”

Renjun sighs and regards Jaemin’s face cautiously, searching for something he wasn’t quite sure of. Jaemin always seemed so confident, so sure of everything he did. He didn’t really know what it was like to have a bravery that stretched across foreign situations.

“I have a couple of questions I’m scared to ask you.”

“Don’t be.”

“Okay,” Renjun laughs. “Sure. Easy.”

“It kind of is. I won’t make fun of you.”

He drums his free hand on his knee and Jaemin watches the motion with heavy eyes. Everything Renjun did, Jaemin noticed.

“Do you like me?”

“Yes.”

“Like– do you like me, for me?”

“You mean if we didn’t ever touch each other?”

“Yeah.”

Jaemin leans into his space, face close, incredibly serious. “I would like you if you never let me touch you again, Renjun. And I liked you before I ever did.”

“Okay,” he breathes. “Question two.”

“Go ahead.”

“Are you a cryptid?”

Jaemin giggles and he grins, tilting his head. “Is that really a question you were scared to ask me?”

“Yes,” Renjun scowls. “You said you wouldn’t laugh. Fucking liar.”

“Sorry,” Jaemin says, mischief laced in his words. He wasn’t sorry. “You’re still not asking the right question.”

“Wanna fuck?” he jokes, hoping to catch him off guard. It doesn’t work because if anything, Jaemin doesn’t look swept off his feet like he had wished. The boy just rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

“Yes, I do. But no, still not right.”

“I can’t think of anything else.”

“Renjun,” Jaemins says impatiently. “We just talked about it.”

Renjun tosses his hands up in frustration. “Jesus Christ Jaemin, I’m running out of ‘obvious’ questions. What? Is it something like ‘do you wanna be my boyfriend?’”

Jaemin blinks. Renjun pauses, hands still in the air.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah,” Jaemins says lamely. “I pictured this moment going a bit differently. More dramatic, maybe a shared makeout in the rain outside of your apartment. Something memorable to share with our children.”

“You’re hopeless,” Renjun says miserably. He places both palms over his eyes in embarrassment and he can feel Jaemin staring at him. This was the absolute peak of humiliation for him. It was that? Renjun feels like banging his head into the window and changing Jaemin’s mind about him.

Jaemin looks sheepish and Renjun can’t help but smile at his expression. “I’ve liked you since I saw you walk into chemistry. I didn’t even think we would get this far, to be fair. It was just pure luck that you found my cookie trail in the nature reserve.”

Renjun feels flushed and he fans himself as he tries to gather the last shreds of modesty he had in him.

“I have that effect on people.”

“Shut up for once in your life,” Renjun hisses. “This is very…”

“Shocking? Really? I feel like I’ve made it very obvious that we need to get married as soon as possible.”

“Married?!”

“It’s the next step after,” Jaemin throws up air quotes, “‘boyfriendship.’” He grins brightly.

“Good God.”

“I’m only joking. Kind of. Maybe I shouldn’t throw this on you when you can barely handle the thought of a committed relationship.”

“I can handle the thought of a committed relationship!” he protests, trying to save his dignity. “Jaemin you’re just– different.” The boy doesn’t say anything but he does regard him suspiciously. “I’m about to say something and you cannot laugh at me.”

Jaemin crosses his heart with a cartoonishly solemn look on his face.

“You’re different because I like you. A lot. Too much.” Renjun sighs and presses his hands back over his face. It was a bad habit that he needed to break, but Jaemin seemed to push his buttons and patience. It was just hard to look at him when admitting something at this level of vulnerability.

“It’s embarrassing to talk about. I know it shouldn’t be, because it’s you, and I’m comfortable around you. It’s hard to admit that I like someone when I feel like I can’t ever show that person how much I like them. And with you, it’s hard to imagine that you could even like me back.”

A strong hand grips the fingers over his eyes and pulls them away, bringing light back into Renjun’s vision. Jaemin is practically vibrating in excitement and he has a wild look in his eyes.

“I said-”

“I’m not laughing,” Jaemin interjects in defense.

“But you practically are. You look like you’re ready to eat me. And enjoy it.”

“You know what this means?” Jaemin asks, eyes flashing a brilliant amber.

“What?”

“That I get to introduce you to my cryptid family before we eat you in celebration.”

Renjun presses his lips together tightly as Jaemin bursts into hysterics.

“Still not funny.”

He had expected this.

As soon as they had stepped off the train and into Jaemin’s apartment, they were wrapped around each other in a frenzy.

Jaemin’s grip on his hair is tight and he pulls Renjun’s head back, tilting his chin upward. Their lips meet with an urgency that sends his toes into an aching curl. His hips lift to meet Jaemin’s as the boy presses him into the wall of the bedroom. The array of dead Hollywood stars stare back at him and Renjun pulls back from the scorching kiss.

“I think Greta Garbo is staring at us,” Renjun complains. Jaemin stops his attack on his neck and looks to where the boy is staring. He turns back to him and surges forward to nip his lips between sharp teeth.

“God, you’re so sexy for knowing her name.”

“And you’re a freak for being turned on by that.”

“Whisper the name Vincent Price.”

“You want me to say another man’s name in your ear?” Renjun practically hisses. “Why am I letting you fuck me again?”

“So tell me to stop,” Jaemin murmurs against the skin of his neck. He bites him, hard enough to almost pierce skin, and Renjun shudders. He digs his nails into the blades of the boy’s shoulders.

“No.”

Something Renjun can’t quite translate passes through his eyes and he gulps at the stare down he’s giving him. He’s crashing his lips against his, shoving him into the wall. Renjun can’t help but make a noise of surprise. He guides them away and toward the edge of his bed, his knees knocking into the mattress. Hands on his shoulders are pressing down into the sheets and Renjun falls back lightly, hair hitting the soft comforter beneath him. Jaemin crawls up his body and it’s a familiar sight from earlier.

Renjun breathes shakily as the boy’s hand slides up his stomach, gliding his shirt up to the edge of his nipples.

“What do you want?” Jaemin asks curiously. His eyes rake up his stomach, back to his own, and Renjun swallows the thick spit that’s gathered in his mouth.

“Depends on what you’re asking?”

“Are you fucking me?”

“Um.”

“Are we fucking?” He tries again.

“Yes,” Renjun quickly shoots out. “I want it. Want you. I’m just– thinking.”

Jaemin drops down on his elbows and presses his cheek against Renjun’s, nuzzling into him as if were a cat. “S’ okay, take your time, baby.”

Baby. He twitches in his jeans. Great.

Jaemin’s hair tickles his lips as he presses soft kisses over every inch of exposed skin around his face, taking him apart with each gentle touch. His lips are warm and wet as they brush over his eyelashes, his nose, and the swooping dip of his collarbones.

“It’s whatever you want,” he whispers in the shell of his ears. Renjun’s heart thuds nervously.

What did he want?

“I want you.”

“However you want,” Jaemin confirms. “All yours, all mine, yeah?” “Yeah,” he sighs blissfully at thumbs circling his nipples. “Yeah.”

“Please fuck–” his words cut off with the suction of Jaemin’s mouth around the buds of his chest. His hips instinctively jerk up but strong hands are pressing him down into the sheets. The scrape of his teeth is enough to elicit a hiss from Renjun.

“Put your teeth away.”

“Mm,” Jaemin pretends to ponder as he slides down Renjun’s body, knees hitting the ground. “No.”

Renjun sits up and watches through heavy lashes as Jaemin runs his mouth across denim thighs. He helps him shimmy his pants off and he gestures for the boy to do the same. Jaemin shrugs and drops his pants as well, kicking them off to the side somewhere.

“Your thighs are gorgeous,” Jaemin says against his skin. He’s back on his knees, nipping at the exposed flesh. Renjun shivers as they watch a mark bloom in real time. Jaemin presses his thumb into the fresh wound and he jerks his thigh up toward his body. The boy makes a sound of frustration and yanks his leg back down.

“You wiggle too much.”

Renjun scowls. He bravely grabs the tops of Jaemin’s shoulders and yanks him back up toward him. Jaemin could’ve easily overpowered him, but he indulges Renjun and lets his body fall over his.

“Hello,” he says, face close to his.

Renjun smiles. “Hi. You didn’t let me finish my sentence.”

Jaemin’s finger caresses his flushed cheek and he cutely taps his nose, leaning down to bite the tip. Renjun bats him away in a catlike manner and his hand slides between them, forcing to boy to put space between them.

“I heard ‘you’ and ‘fuck’ so that was my cue.”

Renjun can’t exactly argue. “I guess.”

Jaemin giggles. “Did you want to finish your sentence? Go on. Say it.” He says it with a lilt of a challenge to his voice and Renjun stares back at him triumphantly.

“Please fuck me.”

Jaemin’s hand curls underneath Renjun’s head and he roots his fingers through the silky strands. “You’re right. That was nice to hear.”

“See. I can be sexy.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’re always sexy.”

“You’re always saying I’m cute, though.”

Jaemin laughs, shaking his head. He helps Renjun slip out of his shirt and he tosses his own with the discarded pants on the ground. He had just noticed that Jaemin had been slowly undressing him since they had stepped into the apartment. The boy had eased his nerves so well, that he was oblivious to what was around him. Even his socks were already off.

“You’re too good at this,” Renjun muses as Jaemin bites at his neck. He soothes every sink of his teeth with a warm tongue. “Also, you’re fucking up my neck. Leech.”

“I wish I cared,” Jaemin replies, a small sigh, obviously not.

“What else are you into besides being a vampire?”

Jaemin’s soft kisses, bites, and wandering hands had practically melted Renjun down into nothing but a puddle. He feels like jelly as the boy tugs at his scalp, brushing his hair out of his eyes and off his sweaty forehead. Renjun can’t help but reach up with both hands and hold his face between palms. He was just so pretty.

Jaemin settles into his touch and lets the weight of his face fall into his hands, nestling into his fingers. Cute.

“I like cockwarming, coming on someone’s face–” he lifts his hand up to keep count, “a lot of spit, biting, obviously, and cuddling.”

Renjun stares at him. Jaemin’s cheeks are still squished in his hands and the boy looks back at him, face blank and devoid of any humiliation.

“What happened to shame?”

Jaemin frowns. “You asked. What about you?”

“Um.” Renjun shrugs. “You?”

“Just me?”

“Yeah?”

“Let me help,” Jaemin adjusts above him. His hard cock presses into his stomach through his underwear and Renjun feels like he’s about to go crazy. “You obviously like being manhandled. I think you like biting too– actually, maybe you just let me. And–”

“Enough,” Renjun closes a hand over Jaemin’s mouth. “Do people normally talk this much during sex?”

“Technically I’m not ‘in’ you yet. I haven’t even fingered you yet.”

Renjun’s cheeks burn and he grumbles as the younger boy leans down to bite them, dropping a quick kiss, before he sits up. Renjun watches as Jaemin presses his legs up to his chest, helping him grip the junction of his knees.

“Keep these up here, okay?”

Renjun rolls his eyes but soon finds out why Jaemin had warned him. The slide of his fingers are dizzying and his head flops to the side helplessly as they curl deep inside him. Usually, when he or someone else fingered him open, it was easy to keep his position. The pleasure typically came after they had got him where they needed him to be. But Jaemin makes the uncomfortable stretch feel good.

So good, that his grip on the backs of his thighs slip and his knees fall on top of Jaemin’s shoulders.

“Holy fuck–”

Jaemin patiently shoves his legs back into position and his hands fold over Renjun’s to adjust them to where they need to be. Renjun’s dick stares back at him unimpressed that he couldn’t handle simple fingers.

His slender fingers are long and smooth; his hands work miracles into his skin. Renjun had spent an exuberant amount of time looking at Jaemin’s knuckles and stretch of flesh across his beautiful hands, but he hadn’t known that they could make him feel this way.

“You okay?” Jaemin asks from below. His bicep is curled around the top of his thigh, and his free arm shifts beneath him as he opens him up. Renjun watches as three fingers now disappear inside him. He doesn’t even remember when Jaemin had pulled out lube.

“Feels nice,” he confirms. Jaemin kisses the inside of his thigh and continues to work him open, talking him through it. Renjun really does appreciate the time he’s taking to make sure that he’s going to be okay, to make sure that he really is comfortable enough. It’s something his past partners never did for him. Maybe people did talk this much during sex.

“How many does it usually take for you?” Jaemin asks, carefully scissoring his fingers. Renjun’s cock twitches at the sight of his sweeping lashes and wet lips as he looks up at him. Jaemin looked nice below him.

“Three is enough. I just need a little more time…”

“No worries,” Jaemin assures. Renjun stares at him curiously as the boy shifts beneath him and is suddenly batting away his hands, now wrapping both arms around his thighs. It’s not until he’s towing him toward his chest that he gets it.

“Oh– Jaemin. You don’t have to–”

Jaemin peeks up at him, a wicked smile curling around his lips. “Just let me take care of you, yeah?”

“Nobody has ever. Like.” He hesitates. “Done that.”

“Eat you out?”

“Don’t say that!”

Jaemin laughs and presses Renjun’s knees up even higher, now having them flush against his chest, his lower half completely exposed. Renjun squeezes his eyes tightly as he can feel the warm breath fan across his skin, and Jaemin says something too low for his ears to pick up. It sounds like a curse.

Jaemin’s mouth should be illegal. His lips and tongue drag across his hole, transmitting lightning up his spine and into his ears. He feels like he’s underwater, in a pool of pleasure, as Jaemin takes him apart with his mouth alone. His fingers knead into the thighs he has locked above his head and Renjun threads his fingers into his hair, tugging at each sloppy press.

“Minnie,” he breathes weakly.

His hands find their way to Jaemin’s face and he can feel the way his jaw drops open, cheeks hollowing underneath the pad of his thumb. It’s the same motion of kissing and Renjun feels faint at the thought. Jaemin must feel the way Renjun is following the movement, and he turns his head to suck a finger into his mouth.

Renjun makes a noise at the wet warmth and Jaemin peers up at him, eyes on him as he presses the finger deeper. It feels like he’s out of his body as Jaemin goes back to eating him out, finger still in his mouth.

It’s an awkward position of his hand bumping into the boy’s teeth, brushing his own hole, tongue slipping between digits– but they make it work. It’s filthy, but it’s Jaemin. He can’t find the will to care because it’s so hot (even though it shouldn’t be), and his cock leaks at the sight, dripping into a steady, tiny pool of precome on his stomach.

Jaemin’s voice is dragging him out of his bubble of pleasure and he blearily moves as Jaemin is tapping his thigh.

“Finger yourself, I wanna try something.”

Renjun can only nod as Jaemin’s hand wraps around his wrist and tugs him down, helping him press his own finger inside. Any shame or embarrassment he had before is out the window. Jaemin watches the motion with hungry eyes and he doesn’t move until Renjun is up past his knuckle.

“Beautiful,” Jaemin coos. Renjun scowls and he flicks his forehead.

“Freak.”

Jaemin doesn’t care and he ignores him to watch the sight of Renjun swallowing himself, his head resting on his thigh.

“There you go,” he murmurs. Renjun moans quietly at the praise and his head falls to the side, trying to catch his breath. He felt open enough but Jaemin wasn’t quite satisfied yet. “Another one.”

Renjun listens and he brings a second finger to his hole, thankfully helped by the insane amount of lube left over. Jaemin’s fingers come back, much to his relief, and he slides two in with Renjun’s. The stretch of four inside him is enough to make Renjun groan but Jaemin is soothing him with soft praises, kissing his inner thigh.

He curls with Renjun, and he pulls with Renjun, guiding him through each stretch and scissor. His head feels cloudy and he isn’t quite sure that he’s still on earth.

“Look at you, baby,” Jaemin says with a smile against heated skin.

“Don’t be patronizing,” Renjun huffs (moans) and Jaemin laughs at him. He does a particular shift of his fingers that makes his thighs come up around his head. Jaemin doesn’t mind the squeeze and he just kisses the other thigh that’s now next to his ear.

“Praising you is patronizing you?”

“Yes. No. Maybe. I don’t know I can’t fucking think.”

Jaemin giggles and pushes Renjun’s legs apart, fingers slipping out of him. Renjun makes a noise of protest and disappointment and Jaemin shushes him with a hand over his mouth. He shakes his head and shoves the hand off him with a wary look.

“Those–” he carefully lifts up Jaemin’s fingers with his free hand, “were just inside me.”

“So was my tongue,” Jaemin sings, leaning down to kiss him. It’s Renjun’s turn to laugh, screeching at his tongue that pushes into his mouth. His protests are futile and he can’t take Jaemin seriously when the boy is wiggling all over him, trying to shove his fingers in too. Renjun makes a plegh noise and manages to turn his head away.

“You’re a fre-”

“-ak. I know,” Jaemin finishes for him happily into the crook of his neck. He sucks another mark there. “A freak you’re letting fuck you. So, where do we go from here?”

“Hopefully your cock in me as soon as possible.”

“I tried to use my tongue but you were ungrateful.”

“Jaemin. Please.”

Jaemin sighs as if it were a burden to hurry up and fuck him. Renjun knows him, though. Knows his bluff of not caring. He could see the way Jaemin was rutting up into the sheets as he ate him out. He had never wanted someone inside him more.

He allows himself to indulge in the way Jaemin’s arms flex as they pull Renjun flush against his thighs, meeting his own. His hands glide down and press open his legs as wide as they could go, and they both watch expectantly as he nudges in. Renjun’s arms tremble as he sits up on his elbows, the sensation sending a ricochet of contentment off his bones. His head falls back and he can feel the heave of his stomach.

Jaemin already felt amazing he couldn’t imagine how it would feel once he started actually moving in him.

“Fuck, Renjun,” he breathes. Not Junnie, but Renjun. Renjun feels smug at the fact that he can finally see the physical reaction of the boy. Before, the only signs of bliss were his hips shifting down into the bed. Now, the faint flush across his cheeks, and the stuttering gasp is enough to satisfy his want of seeing the boy fall apart.

“More,” he whines, hips moving back down on him. Jaemin’s hand comes up to hold him still.

“Take it easy,” he soothes. “You still need to adjust–”

“I said,” Renjun grips the back of Jaemin’s neck and tugs him down. The tips of their noses brush each other. “More, Jaemin.”

“Fuck. Yeah, okay. I got you, Junnie.”

“I can take it,” he moans, clenching around him. Jaemin’s hips jolt and he can feel him twitch deep inside him. “Just please. I’ve been waiting for so long. And I’ve been good, right? Right?” He feels pathetic to practically beg like this, but the ache deep inside him has created a static inside his head.

Jaemin shushes him again, mouthing around his lips in heated praise. “You’re perfect, baby. Just absolutely beautiful. You’ve been amazing.”

“Please, please, please. Jaemin.”

He knows he’ll be embarrassed as soon as the post-orgasm hits. Yet, he doesn’t care.

Jaemin listened to his pleas, and if Renjun didn’t know any better, Jaemin looked– smug. As if this was what he wanted. As if he needed Renjun to beg beneath him, to finally break and ask if he really was doing okay. His hips snap up in a perfect tilt and Renjun melts beneath him.

He can feel his mouth moving, saying words, but they fall silent in his ears. All he can focus on is the way Jaemin’s thick cock pushes into him at a pace that sends sharp twinges to the pit of his stomach. His grip keeps Renjun pressed deep into the sheets and he ignores the way his leg cramps in this position. It’s okay because it’s Jaemin. And it feels too good to stop.

“I would’ve had you bent over but I wanna see your face for the first time,” Jaemin pants, hands circling around his ankles. He straightens his legs and places them over the horizon of his shoulders. The stretch makes the backs of his thighs burn but it takes away the impending cramp that was crawling up.

“Shit,” is all Renjun can manage out– dumbly.

Each thrust makes his body jostle upward and soon Renjun finds himself holding the headboard to root himself into place. Jaemin notices his struggle and pulls him back down with one swift tug, ass flush with his thighs, going deep inside him. Renjun flounders and his hands scramble to hold onto something, anything.

He goes to cover his face but Jaemin’s hand quickly intervenes before he can even make it halfway.

“Uh uh,” Jaemin says with a tsk. “That won’t do.”

“Bastard,” Renjun voices hoarsely. He feels mortified that with every thrust of his hips, he has moans slipping out into the air. Jaemin’s also making noise, but Renjun fears that he’s being too much. He can’t help it, though. He just can’t. The pleasure is almost blinding.

“Minnie I can’t–” he struggles to find the right words. Jaemin’s strong hands slide underneath his hips and he lifts him up, now slowing to something that makes tension simmer in his chest. He could feel the slow build of his orgasm.

“Can’t what, baby?”

Renjun groans at the name and at the languid pace he’s set. He wriggles down for a harsher contact, but Jaemin refuses to give in. How could he stand it?

“Think. I can’t think.”

Jaemin giggles and he splits Renjun’s legs, pushing them off his shoulders and back down on the bed, leaning back down to meet his lips. He still doesn’t pull out. Renjun can feel himself descending into madness. The press of his cock head nudges against the most sensitive part of him and he all but whimpers into his warm mouth.

“Oh, baby,” Jaemin coos. Renjun can’t fight back with his words (he isn’t sure he could even speak right now besides to moan) and he clenches around Jaemin, pushing a sound of pleasure from the boy on top of him.

“Deserved I guess,” Jaemin breathes. “Do you need a moment?”

Renjun shakes his head, bangs flopping back into his eyes, gripping Jaemin’s biceps. He digs his nails in and hopes that he gets the message. That he understands Renjun needs him right now.

“I got you,” Jaemin repeats from earlier in understanding. The boy brushes his hair out of his eyes, not caring that Renjun is sticky with sweat. He looks at him with a weird expression before licking his forehead. Renjun screeches and pushes a laughing Jaemin away.

“Fucking gross,” Renjun croaks. Jaemin is still buried deep inside him and he jolts his hips forward, knocking any insult out of the boy beneath him.

“I’m not stupid,” he whispers into his ear.

Renjun doesn’t deny anything.

“C’mon,” Jaemin says. “Keep your grip tight.”

Renjun listens because he’s not that dumb, and he doesn’t let his hold on his arms falter. Jaemin slams into him with a speed and stretch that makes Renjun immediately lose any form of coherency. Fast doesn’t always mean good during sex– but with him, it did. Because Jaemin knows what he’s doing, he knows how to fuck into him with a rhythm, he knows how to position him at an angle that makes the air in his lungs vanish.

It’s too much, it’s everything he needs, it’s everything he wants.

Jaemin is making sounds that send Renjun’s cock into spasms, twitching at every fuck and perfect that he manages to coo with a sweet voice into his ear. The younger boy wasn’t joking when he said that he wanted to see Renjun’s face this way. He uses nimble fingers to grip his face with one hand, a gentle thumb prodding at the entrance of his lips.

“So pretty like this, Renjun.”

“Stop, don’t say things like that–” he moans. He doesn’t mean it. He wants Jaemin to keep whispering nasty, gross things at him.

“I bet you would like it if I came in you, huh?” The boy murmurs this with his lips on his, huffing hot hair into his mouth. Renjun could kiss him like this. He’s breathless from the exertion and his hair falls into Renjun’s eyes.

“Yeah– I would, Minnie– please.”

“Of course you would,” Jaemin laughs, still panting into his mouth. He pulls at Renjun’s bottom lip with his thumb and leans down to kiss him. It’s messy and wet, he isn’t sure which tongue belongs to whom.

But it’s so hot and borderline pornographic sounding, that he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care when Jaemin pulls back slightly, slick lips hovering over his, to spit into his mouth. Jaemin presses his finger on the flat of his tongue and swirls the spit around with an amused smile. Renjun closes whatever little space left between them to kiss him again.

Jaemin’s thrusts are still at an unforgiving pace and Renjun feels the familiar tug at his gut.

“Close,” Renjun huffs out, voice jostling at the speed. “Any second–”

Jaemin finally wraps his hand around Renjun’s cock and matches the rhythm he set, fist closing over the head with a slick squeeze. His hand feels like a godsend and Renjun unsheathes his nails from his arms and wraps them around his neck, tugging him flush to his chest. Jaemin’s breaths are uneven in his ear and it’s all he needs to be pressed to the edge.

He’s coming all over his fist and Jaemin is pulling his face back from Renjun’s neck to watch him. He looks at him with awe as his mouth slips open into a drawn out whine, chest heaving as he struggles to catch his his breath. Renjun catches Jaemin’s eye and the boy stares down at him hungrily, his grin sharp and wicked.

He can’t keep his eyes on Jaemin any longer and they slip closed as he lets the pleasure wash over him. He never believed in ‘sparks flying’ behind someone’s eyes until now. Jaemin had slowed his pace down to something manageable and Renjun still held tight to his neck, gasping with each slow roll into him.

“Come on, Jaemin,” Renjun whispers into his ear. Jaemin’s breath catches and he can feel the stutter of his hips as he talks him through. Renjun can’t help but whimper along with him, Jaemin’s cock working him to the razor edge of oversensitivity. “Come in me.”

That seems to be the trigger sentence for him because he’s spilling into him, hip bones rutting into his own, groaning out a simple ‘fuck.’” Renjun’s grip around his neck tightens and he wraps his legs around Jaemin’s back, pulling him down completely. The boy is limp on top of him, save his trembling arms on either side of his head. Renjun kisses whatever skin he can that’s on Jaemin’s neck, whispering sweet nothings into his ear as he comes down from his orgasm.

They fall silent as they both try to catch their breath and sanity– Jaemin doesn’t bother to pull out, nor does he bother to detach himself from the crook of his neck.

“Is Greta Garbo still staring at us?” Jaemin whispers into the silence. Renjun makes a noise that vaguely resembles a laugh. He opens his eyes and looks up at the frown lining her face in the corner of the room.

“She looks disappointed,” he muses.

“It’s because she wishes she was the one that came inside you.”

“Oh my God.”

Jaemin finally detaches himself and hauls himself up back on his elbows. His hair tickles Renjun’s face and he scrunches his nose and turns his head. He lifts his head up more and brushes back Renjun’s hair, revealing his sweaty forehead. He uses a finger to trace the ridge of Renjun’s nose and his voice is sweet as he speaks.

“What? It’s true.”

“What’s next? That Greta Garbo wishes she was also still in me?”

Jaemin looks down between their bodies to where they’re still conjoined. He gives an experimental thrust and Renjun isn’t prepared for another wave of arousal to zing through him.

“Oh–”

“Feels nice doesn’t it?” Jaemin asks, voice smug. He gives another gentle push back inside him and Renjun scrambles to clutch the blanket beneath them.

“You’re gross.”

“You’re totally into it,” Jaemin whispers. He kisses the tip of Renjun’s nose, thumb caressing the high of his cheekbone. “Now, let’s get you cleaned up.”

And when he slips down Renjun’s body to ‘clean him up’ with his mouth– he doesn’t complain.

“What are you doing?”

Jaemin’s voice is directly in his ear (of course it was, he was wrapped up in Renjun’s arms, head peering through the circle of his arms, head tucked in his shoulder).

“Thinking about texting Donghyuck. What do I say? ‘Are you mad at me’ but like, in a chill way?”

“Is there a ‘chill’ way to ask that?”

“Hmm.” Renjun stares at the screen of his phone. “You’re right.”

“Always am,” Jaemin says into his skin. “You smell like me.”

“Weird.”

Renjun hadn’t left Jaemin’s apartment since they had arrived. That had been a week ago. He didn’t count the fact that he had left for class, of course. He was a dedicated student– Jaemin, on the other hand, hadn’t left. He had just waved off Renjun’s concern with his hand and reassurance that he had his own homework and assignments handled. Renjun believed him.

Renjun had been practically moving around campus like an undercover agent.

Ducking and sliding behind freakishly thick trees to avoid any person who looked like the vague outline of any of his friends. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was avoiding. It wasn’t like anyone was actually mad at him. They were just mad at the world, he supposes. They always made up. This time shouldn’t be any different. The groupchat had been deathly silent; Chenle hadn’t even messaged him.

“Why am I always first to crack?” Renjun asks to nobody in particular.

Jaemin answers. “Because you’re Renjun.”

“Helpful.”

“Mmm.”

huang renjun the 3rd duke of china: are u guys mad at me :(

Jaemin snorts. “You should’ve used a cuter face.”

“Like the weird ones you send me?”

“Exactly.”

bigdong: oh thank god u messaged first

bigdong: i’m miserable without you in my life. I had to ask chenle for advice and i wanted to kill myself

jen <3: you talked to chenle before you talked to your own best friend???? you two are the ones that started this

chenle (maybe): my advice was actually very solid thanks

chenle (maybe): i said the same thing but donghyuck was too scared to text junnie first LMFAO

ji: lol

jen <3: jisung why are you even laughing

markie poo: everything is funny when you want dick

bigdong: mark you’re so funny 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

minnie <3: you have 7 days to all personally apologize to renjun or you’re cursed

minnie <3: （　(≪●≫)　）Д（　(≪●≫)　）

Renjun sighs.

“Let’s invite everyone over to my place?”

Jaemin wriggles out of Renjun’s arms and rolls over his body to flop next to him. He watches as his post-sex hair sticks up into the morning light of his window. Jaemin had woken him up only an hour before with a weird waggle of his eyebrows and a slip of his shirt over his head. There are definitely worse ways to wake up.

Renjun rolls over to his side and props himself up on his hands, regarding the smiling boy next to him.

“Would that be weird?”

“They seem to be okay with each other,” Jaemin says with a shrug. “Somehow.”

“Mark and Chenle seem to be okay. I don’t know about the rest of them.”

“They all messaged back when you did, didn’t they?” he replies pointedly.

Which, yeah, true. But Renjun couldn’t help but worry that his friends wouldn’t be okay with each other. Even if they were. It was just a weird feeling– Renjun had always been the center of helping them reunite.

“Renjun.”

He snaps out of his daze. “Yeah, sorry?”

Jaemin grins and reaches up to flick his forehead without any warning. “This means that they worked it out without you. Donghyuck actually said that he and Chenle were talking first.”

“Which is suspicious!”

Jaemin laughs, tugging down Renjun into his arms. “You’re suspicious that your friends were able to solve their own problems?”

“Yes. I’m also suspicious that it was Chenle and Donghyuck that were able to do that. I’d expect, like, Jisung and Jeno to be able to accomplish that. Not them.”

“Babe–”

“Ew.”

Jaemin looks miffed. “Honey?”

“Wrong.”

“Um. Cutie Patootie?” Renjun looks at him with deep offense. “That was arguably a hate crime against gays.”

Jaemin does a weird thing with his face and he rolls over on his stomach, creeping toward Renjun with his hands splayed out across the sheets. Renjun scoots back with his lips crumpled up in distaste (and a little bit of fear).

“Oh, I hate when you do this.”

Jaemin gets ready to pounce and Renjun screeches with horror. “Get away! Why do you even do that?” He holds up the covers between them and Jaemin paws at it, poking his face through the material.

Renjun shoves his face away and Jaemin falls back against the pillows with a giggle. “It’s fun to watch you squirm.”

“So you admit that you turn up the weirdness around me?”

“No?” Jaemin looks confused. “I’m just being myself. It’s just nice to actually do everything that crosses my mind.”

Renjun stares at him and chooses to ignore the last part of his sentence. Jaemin continues.

“Anyway. I just think you should have good faith that they actually did it.”

Renjun makes a pfft sound, regarding the boy with a suspicious look. “And I’m to assume that they fixed everything? As in, Mark and Donghyuck are okay, Chenle and Jisung sorted their shit-show, and Jeno–”

“Well, no.” He shakes his head. “You should assume that Donghyuck and Chenle fixed their shit. The rest of that is still up to them most likely.”

“You’re probably right.” Renjun stares up at the ceiling in inquiry, musing over the what-ifs and the unknown. “If they managed to solve all of that without me…”

“It would be a miracle. It’s more likely that I’m a human.”

Renjun looks over at Jaemin’s sharp, too-many-teeth grin, and rolls his eyes. “You know, you keep fucking with me about your true nature and origin. One day, I’m gonna discover the truth.”

“You want the truth?”

“Always.”

“I like you.”

Renjun pretend gags and rolls out of bed, stumbling to gather his jelly legs. Jaemin had fucked him into a different dimension earlier. The boy watches the entire thing unfold with a smug glint in his eyes, his smile bordering insane.

“Do you like me?” he asks, fluttering his lashes. Renjun purses his lips and turns himself toward the boy’s closet, rooting around for a comfortable sweater. He lands on the deep indigo one that Jaemin had been wearing when they first met. He slips it over his head and instead of being met with the sunlight filtering through the window, he’s face to face with Jaemin.

This time he doesn’t scream.

“Proud of you,” Jaemin breathes, arms circling his waist, tugging him flush. “You didn’t scream this time.”

“Go figure,” Renjun shoots back with amusement. “I’m getting used to it. This isn’t exactly good news.”

“Meh,” is all Jaemin says. “I think it’s absolutely wonderful.”

Renjun mimics Jaemin’s tone, going into his best fancy (horrible) British accent. Jaemin chases him through the apartment, swearing revenge.

“You’re like, positive you’re human?”

“I can neither confirm nor deny.”

“You denied when we first met.”

“So why are you asking again?”

“I thought you were going to answer my questions, not avoid them.” Renjun says this pointedly, hoping that Jaemin would just give it up already. He has both legs on either side of the boy, standing in an awkward split as he applied the bleach to the roots of his hair.

It had been Jaemin’s idea to dye his hair white, going for a ‘snow’ look. He had assured Renjun that he had done it before, even showing him pictures. It was weird to see that Jaemin had once been someone who took mirror selfies. It was weird that he even had a reflection.

Some random song off Jaemin’s Cookie playlist played softly in the bathroom as the two were surrounded by a series of towels in the floor and heaps of plastic.

“I’m beginning ot think you put down all this plastic so you could murder me.”

“That’s a bit dark, isn’t it?”

Renjun hums and playfully shakes Jaemin’s head around, slapping on more bleach (per Jaemin’s instructions, of course.).

“Do you think it’s really the best idea to invite everyone over into this tiny bathroom as we bomb it with bleach and chemicals?”

“Maybe it will make them confess.”

“Right.”

Donghyuck had been the first to arrive. He had sheepishly stepped into the bathroom, eyes going wide at the scene. Too many bottles had been strung out across the tiny room, the window propped open to relieve the air of its thickness.

“You know, I should’ve known I was going to see something fucking crazy when y’all said you were in the bathroom. I was expecting to see Renjun giving you a sexy sponge bath.”

“The words ‘sexy’ and ‘sponge bath’ should never be put into the same sentence ever again,” Renjun complains. Donghyuck just shrugs and knocks over an empty bleach bowl into the sink so he could pull himself up on the counter. He swings his legs as he watches Renjun work, whining that this was all a bad idea.

“I’m really sorry,” his best friend says out of nowhere. Renjun stops the smacking of chemicals on Jaemin’s head and the boy beneath him says nothing, letting the two have their moment.

“Just pretend I’m not here,” Jaemin whispers. The two friends ignore him.

“It’s okay,” Renjun says with a small smile, going back to his boyfriend’s hair. Odd thing for him to even think about.

“It’s really not,” Donghyuck says bashfully. “I was an asshole. To you, to everyone…but I really shouldn’t have tried to even bring you into it.”

“I think you actually brought Jeno into it,” Renjun points.

Donghyuck visibly winces. “I did apologize to him too, actually. It severely hurt my pride and my street credit, but I can come back from it.”

“It’s Jeno,” Renjun laughs. “Not much street credit lost.”

“I guess. It was all just one big fucking mess.” Donghyuck helpfully grabs an empty bowl and starts to mix more bleach for the two. Maybe he just needed something to do with his hands. “I think I fixed everything though.”

Renjun eases off Jaemin and moves to the back of his head, pushing his neck down. Jaemin makes a noise and bats at his hand.

“I’m impressed, Hyuck.”

“I knew you would be,” he replies smugly, handing him the bowl and brush. “Mark and I are official. So, that’s that.”

Renjun pauses. “For real?”

“Fuck,” Jaemin curses, making both boys jump. “There goes my five thousand dollars.”

Donghyuck scowls and points at Jaemin. “Yeah, I heard about that you freak. Chenle confessed that he had you become a spy for him.”

“I didn’t get to do any spying,” Jaemin says forlornly. “I was really looking forward to hiding in the campus trees with the squirrels.”

“Is that how you usually get your info?” Donghyuck asks, placing a scandalized hand over his heart.

“Mm,” Jaemin confirms. Donghyuck looks at Renjun with wild eyes and Renjun just shrugs, giving him his best what-can-you-do look.

“He’s brainwashed you, Renjun. For real. This is not normal.”

Renjun decides to ignore the last part of Donghyuck’s statement in favor of keeping his sanity. “How did you two even come back from that?”

“First of all,” Donghyuck scowls, “I can see that you didn’t have any faith in me actually fixing something. So, fuck you. Second of all, turns out talking can change a lot of things. That’s essentially the plot of Breaking Dawn Part Two and it’s kinda crazy if you think about it. They just like, talked it out with the Volturi.”

The rest of the group steps in right as his best friend begins to interrogate his boyfriend, shooting him a variety of questions, all bordering on accusation. Chenle watches the pair with a dissatisfied look. Renjun waves with a swish of his sticky gloves.

“I do believe in the power of a good conversation, but didn’t Alice have to show Aro that he was going to be beheaded for him to even listen?” Jaemin inquires curiously.

“That didn’t actually happen in the books.”

“You can read?”

Renjun stifles a laugh and Donghyuck gives the pair his best scowl, his glare penetrating their bubble of happiness. His best friend continues his interrogation.

“Who are your parents?”

“The Na’s.”

“Any siblings?”

“A sister,” Renjun chimes in helpfully. Jaemin points to Renjun with a nod of confirmation. Donghyuck narrows his eyes.

“Explanation for the campus cryptid?”

“A figment of your imagination.”

Renjun snorts. “You just suggested earlier that you weren’t human.”

“And what would you do if he wasn’t?” Chenle finally jumps in, sitting on the side of the bathtub. Jisung and Jeno join him, but the two end up in the well of it, legs dangling over the edge. Mark jumps up on the counter next to Donghyuck, kissing his cheek. Donghyuck has the decency to look embarrassed as the rest of them stare at the two. Jeno pulls a pipe out of his coat and lights up despite the wave of chemicals, bleach, and a tiny room.

Renjun is just glad that they’re actually normal.

“I’m pretty sure he’s human,” Renjun replies. “I think. He has all the human parts.”

“I thought I had a monster cock?” Jaemin says from below. Renjun hears a faint “ew” from Jisung and a giggle from Jeno. He turns around to glare at the two snuggled up in the bathtub. Chenle just looks at them fondly.

“You’re both just gross,” Donghyuck confirms.

“What about my feeling?” Jeno asks from the bathtub. “I can feel him here again.”

“Probably because you’re in the bathroom with him,” Chenle adds.

“It doesn’t make sense,” Jeno says, pausing to inhale a deep hit from his pipe. He nudges Jisung and passes it over to him, blowing out smoke in the cramped bathroom. Renjun manages to get Jaemin bent over the sink, rinsing out his hair for him.

“Cryptids don’t make sense. They’re not supposed to.” Jaemin’s words are gurgled as Renjun practically waterboarded him underneath the faucet. He tugs him back up and plops him back into the chair, grabbing the multiple tubes of toner.

“How does he even look good with yellow hair?” Chenle complains. “This is solidified proof that you’re not human.”

“Wait until you see me with white hair,” Jaemin teases with a grin. “I’m beautiful.”

“Have some modesty,” Renjun chides. “But yes, you are.”

Donghyuck pretends to throw up into the sink.

It doesn’t take much to surprise Renjun anymore.

Donghyuck had genuinely managed to work out things with Mark. He really did claim that his success was the power of ‘conversation’-- whatever that meant. Chenle had solved his issue with Jisung somewhat, but he was vague on the details. That didn’t surprise Renjun either.

“It’s a story for another time,” Chenle had said, feet propped up on the edge of Jaemin’s bathtub. They had turned Jaemin’s place into their official hang-out scene, dumping Renjun and Donghyuck’s apartment for his serenity. The bathroom had become Chenle and Renjun’s thing now.

“You’re the worst,” Renjun grumbled, taking a hit off Meso. Since it was New Year’s Eve, they had wrapped her up in decorative tinsel, her metallic shades throwing specks of light around the tiny room. “You’ll have to tell me eventually. What’s the big secret?”

“It’s not exactly a secret. It’s just a long story. We’re good now– perfect even.”

Renjun had believed him. It was odd to see the two always wrapped up in each other. He had seen Mark and Donghyuck coming, but not Chenle and Jisung. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that it had always been Chenle and Jisung. You couldn’t have one without the other.

It didn’t surprise him that Jaemin’s hair had turned out perfect either. He thought the transition of his raven haired boyfriend would throw him for a loop, but it didn’t. It was like the color had elevated his peculiarness to a completely different level. Jaemin’s next mission was pink hair. Renjun wasn’t sure if he could survive that one. Maybe that was something that could surprise him.

So what if Jaemin’s eyes glow in the dark? And why did it matter if Jaemin always seemed to be in two places at once? His ability to climb trees and lightly dance around shadows was his business and his business only. Who cares if he could drink radioactive coffee and survive? Isn’t it a talent to hear one’s heartbeat and those around you? There were plenty of people who had the freakish talent of remembering everything they read– right?

Renjun glances down at his phone, noticing that they only had five minutes until the strike of the New Year. Renjun manages to haul himself out of the depths of the tub, pulling Chenle with him. The rest of the group sits in various spots of the living room, the music and television blaring music and the iconic Times Square Ball Drop.

(“That’s what they call me,” Mark says with a giggle. Jisung and Cheno stare at him with disgust and confusion.

“You’re so funny babe,” Donghyuck chirps.”)

A hand around his waist tugs him out of his thoughts and he’s met with a smiling Jaemin and an unmistakable voice that belongs to Chenle– “ONE MINUTE!!” resounding through the living room. A stray swinging disco ball swings around them and Renjun goes to bat it away but his boyfriend beats him to it, catching the swaying culprit with one hand above them.

“Glad you could make it here, stranger,” Jaemin whispers. The spluttering coughs of his friends taking their last hits off Meso surrounds him and Renjun resists the urge to roll his eyes. He’s sure he’s going to hear an abundance of “I haven’t smoked since last year” jokes.

“Sorry, Lele was holding me hostage in the bathroom. He won’t crack about what happened between him and Jisung.”

“I could tell you but it will cost you.”

Renjun tightens his lips in dismay and Jaemin giggles, tugging him close. He tangles a hand in the back of Renjun’s hair, fingers brushing the infamous hot pink boa. Renjun grabs the tail end of the decorative item and loops it around Jaemin’s neck too, now joining them together. He feels the flash of a camera to the right of him.

“THREE!” his friends whoop around him, their voices growing louder.

“What tree did you hide out in for that information?”

“TWO!”

“Kiss me and find out.”

“You’re horrible.”

“ONE!”

Jaemin smiles as he leans in, stroking the back of his neck, amber eyes bright even in the dim haze of the living room. “Happy New Year, Renjun.”

Renjun kisses him as the cheers erupt around them.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

Later, Renjun launches their relationship on Instagram, using the picture Mark had captured of the two in their feather boa embrace. He doesn’t caption it, but he does tag Jaemin.

Kh1000le: you could’ve cropped me out bro. i’m literally holding Meso in that pic

hechanahceah: he also didn’t crop out our weed tray in the back lmfao

leejen_o_423: cuties!!!!!

onyourm__ark: photo creds?

na.jaemin0813: babe you can see my roots in this ://

the__and.y: if only people knew where that feather boa has been