Chapter Text
The team awoke and once again convened in the living room. Tony came out of his room and was back to his correct age. Before anyone could say anything Tony looked at his team and said one sentence, “Not a word.” and walked over to the coffee machine.
There was a sense of deja vu in the air, because like yesterday the whole team was there except one person. This time it wasnt Tony. “Where’s Peter?” Steve inquired.
“Don't know.” Tony stated, “FRIDAY, where is Peter?”
“In his room Boss.”
“Is he awake?” Tony said, slightly confused as to why Peter had not joined the team for breakfast.
“He is, he has been awake for two hours and twenty three minutes, Boss.”
“Can you ask him to join us?” Tony was at a loss, Peter always wanted to be around the team. Had he really upset the kid that much?
After a minute FRIDAY’s voice filled the room once more “Peter has asked to be left alone today Boss”
“What?” Just like him, the rest of the team looked dumbfounded, this wasn't like Peter. “I’ll go check on him.”
The rest of the team's worry and curiosity overwhelmed them and they found themselves following Tony to Peter’s room. “Hey, kid? Everything ok?” more deja vu, like yesterday with Steve and Tony, Peter did not reply. “Pete? What’s going on kiddo?” Still nothing.
“FRIDAY,” Bruce cut in, “Is Peter hurt?”
“I do not detect any physical injuries Dr. Banner.”
“Hey, Pete? Can you open the door?” no answer, Tony was really getting worried. “Hey, Peter, I’m coming in.” Tony reached for the doorknob only to find that the door was locked. “Peter, you need to unlock the door for me right now.” Silence. “Peter, you’re scaring me, you have to let me in.” He tried to keep his voice calm but his nerves were overpowering him.
“We have to get in there,” Bruce said anxiously, “I’m worried.”
“I know” Tony's voice broke as his anxiety rose, “Peter if you don't unlock this door I will have FRIDAY open it for me.” Nothing.
“FRIDAY, unlock Peter’s door now!” There was a click and Tony was immediately opening the door while apologizing, “Sorry Peter, but I need to know your ok.”
Tony walked through the door, the lights were off and he couldn't see Peter anywhere. Tony started to freak out thinking that Peter had gone out the window, but then he saw the suit lying across the back of Peter’s desk chair. Before he could ask FRIDAY where Peter was, Nat interjected, “Over there, in the corner on the ceiling.” Peter had not moved an inch from last night.
Tony looked up to see a small huddled figure in the corner. ‘Was it just him or did Peter seem smaller,’ he thought, it was hard to see as there was almost no light in the room except for the sun peeking through the closed curtains. He needed to see Peter, but did not want to hurt the boy’s over sensitive senses. “FRIDAY raise lights to 30%” As soon as the words left his mouth the room lit up a bit to reveal Peter with his head on his knees.
“Pete? Hey, can you look at me?” Tony said as softly as possible. Peter slightly shook his head on his knees. “Please Buddy? I want to make sure you’re alright.” ‘God he seems so small,’ Tony thought.
Peter knew they weren't going to leave him alone, he took a trembling deep breath, summoned as much courage as he could, and lifted his head to look at his Mentor. That’s when he heard an exhale from Mr. Stark that sounded like a soft unbelievable “No.”
Tony stared for a minute, not wanting to believe what he was seeing. It was Peter, but just like he had been yesterday, Peter was around the age of 10 years old. Everything he had screamed at the team yesterday came back to him full force and it felt like he was punched in the chest, he couldn't breathe. How could he say those things and not notice Peter's reaction? What must Peter think? Steve’s hand on his shoulder brought him back to the present. He still had his eyes locked into Peter’s which were huge and full of fear and sadness. It broke his heart.
He tried to find his voice, “H-hey Pete? Can you come down?” Peter just stared, not wanting to leave the safety of the corner. “Please?” The desperation that leaked from Mr. Stark's voice got Peter to listen, he didn’t want to be the reason his Mentor was hurting. He slowly lowered himself down to the ground and just stood there. Tony started to rush towards him to envelop him in a safe loving hug, but stopped short when he saw Peter flinch. Tony reprimanded himself in his head, of course, Peter does not want to be touched, he himself did not want to be touched yesterday. Still he couldn’t stop the disappointed look on his face at the idea of not being able to physically comfort his, son whoops, mentee.
As soon as Peter saw the disappointment on his Mentor’s face that he caused, he quickly said, “Sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Tony immediately replied
“I know you're disappointed in me,” He looked up at the sad faces of the entire team staring back at him, “all of you, and you have a right to be.” He spoke so quietly it was hard to hear him. The only one who didn't have to strain their ears to hear the young boy was Steve, because of his super hearing, he wanted to cry at how hurt Peter sounded.
“No,” Tony simply replied, making an effort not to move closer to Peter, which is all he wanted to do, “no one is disappointed in you Peter, this wasn't your fault.” As soon as the words left his mouth he knew he made a mistake.
At this point tears were steadily streaming down Peter's face, “Yes it was,” he sounded so sure yet so broken at the same time, “it’s like you said, I was too weak to stop it, I was too weak to ask for help, and I deserved it.” Peter's voice was soft and heartbroken when uttering the words, unlike when Tony screamed them.
Having his words said back to him and seeing how much they hurt Peter made his one ounce of collectiveness fall apart. He started to cry, “No Pete, I was wrong, I was angry, and I was scared, none of what I said was true.”
“But I was too weak, I didn't stop him.”
He knew Peter wasn’t just going to change his mind, so he tried another tactic, “Peter, do you think I deserved what my father did?” The whole team was shocked at Tony’s words.
Peter looked stunned, what kind of question was that? “Of course not!”
“Then why do you think you did?”
“That's different”
“No it’s not,” he said the next part slowly and emphasized each individual word to make sure he gets the point across, “no one deserves that.”
The rest of the team starred as the interaction continued. They felt like they were intruding on this intimate moment, but none of them could tear themselves away. They were the ones who left Peter alone to wallow and be tormented by his own self hatred all night. They could not abandon him again.
Peter had no words, how could he say that what happened to Mr. Stark was not his fault, but what happened to him, which was the same thing, was his fault. The logic did not add up and he knew that. He knew Mr. Stark was right. He did the only thing he could think of, he went to sit on his bed, just as Mr. Stark had done yesterday and told the story. “I was ten,” His voice was soft, but the others could now hear him clearly, “I had a babysitter named Skip.” Tony took a mental note to go and find Skip and end him. Little did he know the rest of the team was doing the same exact thing. “At first I really liked him, we would build legos, watch movies, make science experiments, and play games.” Peter took a deep breath. The others were patient and waited until Peter was ready to continue. “One day he said he wanted to play a new game. He took some magazines out of his backpack. Inside the magazines were pictures of naked people touching each other. He said we should conduct some experiments of our own and touch each other like the people in the magazine.” Tony had to fight the acid rising in his throat, how could anyone do this to such a kind, caring, wonderful kid, or any kid for that matter. “At first it was just touching, but-” He cut himself off with a sob, he took another deep breath and continued, “Then it grew to more. I begged him not to! I didn’t want it, I swear!” He sobbed, eyes blurry with tears.
“We know you didn’t Peter,” Tony assured him, “we know you didn’t want it.”
“It went on for a year until Skip went off to college and I never saw him again and I never told anyone until today.” Peter looked back up ready to see faces full of disappointment for letting it go on for a year and not telling anyone, but all he saw was sadness and love in all of their eyes.
Tony did not want to overstep, but all he wanted was to hold Peter and let him know that it would be okay. Maybe not right away, definitely not right away, but in time it would get better for both of them. He managed to speak up, “Can” his voice broke, “ Can I come a little closer?” Peter looked at him apprehensively, but gave a minute nod. Tony slowly and carefully crossed the room to Peter’s bed. He looked at the spot beside Peter and looked back up. Peter once again gave a small nod of consent. Tony slowly lowered himself into a sitting position on the bed trying not to move the mattress too much so as to not jostle the young boy. He sat there in silence not moving a muscle making sure Peter was ok with him being this close. After a little bit, he slowly lifted his arm, looked at Peter and this time Peter nodded frantically.
Although Peter was afraid of physical contact at the moment he suddenly felt safe with Mr. Stark. As soon as Mr. Stark asked for permission to come over he started to feel more calm, knowing that Mr. Stark would not do anything without his permission. This was proven when he didn't even sit down next to him without another nod of permission. After sitting for a minute he felt safe and when he saw Mr. Stark's arm move and saw the love in Mr. Stark's eyes, all he wanted was to be held safely by someone he trusted. He frantically nodded his head to give Mr. Stark consent to put his arm around his shoulders. As soon as he did he melted into his mentor’s side and began to sob, but this time it was out of relief.
Tony looked up at the rest of the team still standing in the doorway. He gave a nod that meant, we’ll be okay, you can leave, the team understood that the two needed some time together. They headed back through the doorway, closing the door quietly behind them to give the two some privacy. They all went off on a mission to find out who exactly Skip was and where they could find him.
Tony pulled Peter in close and rocked them both together side by side. No words had to be said. After quite some time Peter's sobs started to fade into a silent cry. “I’m so proud of you.” Tony whispered into Peters’ curls.
That caught Peter's attention, he pulled away a little, but not enough to leave the safety of Mr. Stark's arms. “Why?” Peter said in a small trembling voice.
Tony looked straight into Peter's gigantic brown eyes, “Because you are so so strong Pete. Back then and now.”
“But-”
“There is no ‘but’ Pete. It doesn't matter whether you stopped him or not. Like Nat said, you're a survivor and the sweetest, brightest, strongest, most wonderful kid I’ve ever met.” Peter’s cheeks burned red as he blushed at the compliment. At that, Tony’s face broke into a small smile, the first smile in two days.
“I’m proud of you too.” Peter said softly
The smile remained on Tony’s face as he simply uttered “Thanks.”
They sat there together in a comfortable silence, neither one letting the other go. Before Tony could even process what he was saying the words slipped from his mouth, “I love you Pete” To Tony’s surprise he didn’t regret saying them, they just seemed… right. And they were the truth, he didn't have words for how much he loved his kid.
They just held each other tighter and knew eventually they would both be okay as long as each of them had the other. Just like Tony the words left Peter mouth without a thought, they just felt right, “I love you too, dad.”