Chapter Text
The next morning, Sugino arrived at school expecting a normal day.
That was his first mistake.
His second mistake was arriving early.
The classroom was nearly empty when he stepped inside. A few students were chatting quietly. Nagisa sat near the window reading. Karma was asleep with his face buried in his arms.
Everything seemed peaceful. Normal, if you would.
Then Koro-sensei appeared directly in front of him. "Ah! Sugino!"
Sugino nearly launched his bag through a window.
"WHOA!"
The yellow octopus beamed. "Good morning!"
"Please stop appearing like that."
"But my element of surprise is one of my best qualities."
"It really isn't."
Koro-sensei ignored him completely. Instead, several tentacles wrapped around Sugino's shoulders and began steering him toward the back corner of the room.
"Come with me. I have something to discuss with you."
The baseball player didn't resist.
A few minutes later, they stood behind the school building.
"Soooo..." Sugino crossed his arms. "What exactly is this about?"
Koro-sensei clasped his tentacles together. "Sugino, I require your assistance."
He immediately sighed. "The last time you needed assistance, Okajima got stuck in a tree."
"That was entirely his own fault."
"He was up there for three hours."
"He learned valuable climbing skills."
"He cried."
"A little." Koro-sensei waved that away. "But I promise this is something else. This is much more important."
Somehow, that made Sugino more nervous.
The teacher leaned closer. "Sugino-kun... how would you feel about helping true love blossom?"
Sugino gave the teacher a weird look. "Excuse me?"
"Get two students in this class together!"
"Oh." Sugino nodded. "You mean Karma and (Y/n)?"
Koro-sensei froze.
"..."
"..."
"WAIT, HOW DID YOU KNOW?!"
Now it was Sugino's turn to stare. "I have eyes."
"You knew?!"
"Of course I knew."
The octopus looked genuinely offended. "Why did you never inform me of this?! I had to find out from Nagisa."
Sugino sighed. "It's not exactly subtle. Come on. I hang out with them all the time."
The teacher looked like someone had just informed him the sky was green. "But I've spent days investigating to fact check Nagisa!"
"Congratulations. You caught up to my deduction skills."
Koro-sensei deflated slightly.
Sugino almost felt bad.
Almost.
"It's a good ship, though."
Immediately, Koro-sensei perked back up. "IT IS, ISN'T IT?!"
"Yeah."
The teacher grabbed both of his shoulders. "I knew you were the right person to recruit!"
"Recruit?"
A horrible realization suddenly dawned on Sugino. His eyes narrowed.
"...Wait."
Koro-sensei froze.
"The scavenger hunt."
"Nufufu-"
"The scavenger hunt was part of whatever ridiculous plan you've got going on, wasn't it?"
The teacher looked away in a way that could only be described as bashful. "...Perhaps."
"Koro-sensei."
"Yes."
"It was, wasn't it?"
"...Yes."
Sugino let out a long sigh. "I knew there was something fishy about that. Mr. Karasuma wouldn't buy into that teambuilding thing- OH GOD. IS HE IN ON THIS?"
Koro-sensei rubbed the back of his head. "Yes yes. There's a few of us on board now."
"WHO?"
"Oh you know." He pretended to count on his tentacles. "Me. Irina. Nagisa. Karasuma. And now you!"
"ME?"
"Operation First Love needs another member!"
"You named it?"
"Of course I named it."
Sugino was beginning to understand why Karasuma looked tired all the time.
"So?" Koro-sensei asked eagerly. "Will you help?"
Before Sugino could answer, the teacher raised a tentacle.
"I'll give you extra credit."
Sugino paused. "...How much extra credit?"
Koro-sensei's grin widened. "Enough."
A beat passed.
Then Sugino sighed.
"You know what? Sure."
"Excellent!"
"Mostly because I want to see how badly this goes."
The teacher gasped.
"Sugino! Have a little faith!"
"I have negative faith in you right now."
-😈-
"Hey! Wait up a minute, would you?"
You barely had time to register the sudden weight draped across your shoulders before an arm hooked around them. Looking up, you spotted the perfectly manicured hand resting against your jacket and couldn't help grinning.
"Morning, Rio! Ready for midterms?"
"God." Rio groaned dramatically. "How are you so energetic this early in the morning? And about midterms, no less."
The blonde kicked a loose stone off the path as the two of you continued toward the mountain trail leading to Class 3-E.
"Studying's been absolutely kicking my ass," she continued. "But I really want to knock off one of Koro-sensei's tentacles." Her eyes sparkled. Like legitimately sparkled. "I mean, this is probably our best opportunity yet. We might actually get him."
You hummed thoughtfully.
"I don't know. We've had a few opportunities before."
Rio shot you a look. "Point being?"
"Every time it seems like we're getting somewhere, he pulls some ridiculous stunt and gets away." You shook your head with a laugh. "I mean, I love Koro-sensei as much as the next person, but good grief. At this point it feels like killing him is impossible. The world's probably done for."
Rio stared at you. "How the hell did we go from you being so energetic to you being a complete downer?"
A grimace crossed your face.
"Yeah, that's my bad." You rubbed the back of your neck. "I think I'm just tired. Midterms and everything."
The words earned a sympathetic snort.
"Everyone's stressed about them." Rio snapped her fingers suddenly. "You know what? Screw it."
"What?"
"Come over to my house after school."
You made a face. "Huh?"
"You need a break. I need a break." She waved a hand dismissively. "We'll watch a movie, eat junk food, complain about school. Something."
A grin immediately spread across your face. "That actually sounds amazing."
"I know. I'm brilliant."
You laughed.
Rio hummed as if considering something.
"I'm thinking of doing a sleepover thing on the weekend. The girls need it." She glanced toward you. "Have you seen Okada lately?"
You shook your head. "No. Is she okay?"
Rio winced. "She looks like she's about five minutes away from a heart attack."
"Shit."
"Shit indeed, my dear friend. Shit indeed." The blonde groaned loudly and tilted her head back toward the sky. "But honestly, if we manage to knock off some tentacles, maybe the destruction of our collective sanity will be worth it."
You raised an eyebrow. "Now who sounds pessimistic?"
"I can't afford positivity right now." Rio pointed dramatically ahead. "Koro-sensei might actually kill us."
"Oh, come on." You rolled your eyes. "He won't be that bad."
Rio gave you a flat look.
The universe, apparently, took your words as a challenge.
"WHAT IS TWELVE TIMES THREE?"
"I DON'T KNOW!"
The shout echoed across the mountainside. Both you and Rio froze mid-step. Slowly, very slowly, the two of you turned to stare at each other.
Another scream erupted from the classroom.
"THINK, TERASAKA! THINK!"
A beat passed. Rio pointed toward the building.
"Still think he's not a drill sergeant?"
"Okay, what the hell?"
You shook your head, staring toward the source of the chaos. Someone inside yelped. Another desk scraped loudly against the floor.
"Somebody needs to tell Terasaka it's thirty-six," you said. "Like right now."
"I've literally never heard Terasaka so scared."
-😈-
By the time you stepped into the classroom, Terasaka looked like a man who had witnessed horrors beyond human comprehension.
His hair was sticking up.
His eyes were unfocused.
And he was clutching a math worksheet like it had personally betrayed him.
You stopped.
"...Terasaka?"
The boy slowly turned toward you.
"Run."
A chill went down your spine.
"What?"
"Run."
"Terasaka, what happened?"
His eye twitched.
"Koro-sensei happened."
Across the room, the yellow octopus perked up immediately.
"Oh! (Y/n)! Perfect timing!"
The teacher zipped across the classroom so quickly that a gust of wind nearly knocked several papers off his desk.
You blinked - and suddenly Koro-sensei was wearing a bright blue headband with the word MATH written across it in bold black letters.
"...Why are you wearing that?"
"This is my mathematics headband!"
You stared. "The fact that you have a mathematics headband implies you have other headbands."
The octopus gasped. "Of course I have other headbands!"
That should have worried you more than it did. Unfortunately, before you could comment, Koro-sensei had already seized your shoulders and began to shake you.
"Now then! Midterms approach! Academic excellence awaits! Let us begin your personalized study session!"
You glanced toward Rio.
The blonde immediately looked away.
Traitor.
"Wait-"
Too late.
Koro-sensei vanished.
The classroom exploded into a cloud of dust. When the air cleared, you were sitting at a desk with six different textbooks open in front of you.
You had absolutely no memory of moving.
"...What the hell?"
"MATH MODE!"
The teacher slammed a tentacle onto the desk dramatically. You jumped. Several students jumped. Someone dropped a pencil.
"Question one!"
A worksheet appeared. You looked down. You immediately regretted it. Numbers. Far too many numbers.
"So if a train leaves Tokyo traveling at eighty kilometers per hour-"
"Why is it always trains?"
"NOBODY KNOWS!"
Three seconds later, the problem was solved. The worksheet disappeared. Another appeared. Then another. Then another.
The world became numbers.
At one point you were pretty sure Koro-sensei was explaining algebra while simultaneously solving six other students' problems in the background. You weren't sure. Your brain had stopped functioning. Then suddenly-
FWIP.
The blue headband vanished. A green one appeared.
SCIENCE.
You screamed.
The class screamed.
Koro-sensei ignored everyone.
"SCIENCE TIME!"
A beaker materialized.
"Why do you have props?!"
"Commitment to the bit my dear students!"
The octopus immediately launched into an explanation about chemical reactions. A volcano somehow appeared. You didn't know where it came from. You didn't want to know.
"What is happening?!"
"This - young minds - is education in the purest form!"
The volcano exploded. Everyone was terrified, and you desperately wished you'd chosen to stay at home and study. At least your eyebrows wouldn't be in danger.
But admittedly . . . twenty minutes later your notes looked fantastic.
You hated that.
FWIP.
Another headband.
Red.
HISTORY.
"No."
"HISTORY MODE!"
"No."
"HISTORY MODE!"
"KORO-SENSEI NO!"
-😈-
By the end of the morning, your brain felt like soup. Luke warm, lumpy soup. Soup that was forgotten on a turned off stove and left to congeal.
Koro-sensei, meanwhile, looked delighted. "Excellent work!"
You dropped your forehead onto your desk. A nearby student did the same. Then another. A chain reaction spread throughout the classroom. Within seconds, half of Class 3-E collapsed face-first onto their desks.
Koro-sensei beamed. "Look at that!"
Nobody moved.
"You're all tired from learning! I've taught you!"
From somewhere across the room, Terasaka's muffled voice emerged. "...Please stop helping us."
"No can do! You're destroying my tentacles whether you like it or not!"
-😈-
"He's lost his mind." You rubbed your thighs, trying to ignore a growing ache in them. "There's literally no other explanation."
Karma shook his head. "Nope. He's just hopped up on sugar."
Sugino snorted. "I found so many candy wrappers in the trash. We're completely screwed."
A collective murmur of agreement followed.
You looked at all of them. Nagisa. Sugino. Karma. Rio. Kayano.
They looked rough.
The six of you had escaped outside during lunch in a desperate attempt to recover from whatever educational war crime Koro-sensei had committed that morning.
It wasn't working.
Your brain still felt overcooked.
Rio was sprawled across the grass beside you, one arm covering her eyes.
"Do you know what he did during English?" she asked.
"No."
"He corrected my pronunciation."
"That sounds normal."
"He corrected it in three different accents."
You paused. "...Huh?"
"He did British, American, and Australian."
Karma immediately burst out laughing. "No way."
"I'm serious!" Rio sat up. "Then he made me choose which one sounded coolest."
Kayano giggled. "What did you pick?"
"Australian."
"Good choice. A lady of culture."
"Thank you."
Nagisa smiled weakly. "I think he's just really excited."
"Nagisa." You looked at him. "He made a working volcano."
You have to admit it was a good demo."
"It BLEW UP."
Nagisa hesitated. "...Extra educational?"
Karma nearly choked trying not to laugh. The redhead was having entirely too much fun. Way too much fun for what was happening.
You narrowed your eyes. "Why are you in such a good mood?"
"Hm?"
"You survived the same classes we did."
Karma grinned. "Because I figured out his weakness."
The group immediately sat up. Even Rio lowered her arm. Karma enjoyed the attention for a full five seconds before continuing.
"Compliments."
"What?"
"Compliments. I just told him his lesson plan was great."
"And?"
"He turned pink."
"Okay?" Kayano motioned for him to continue. "And this is monumental because?"
"He left me alone."
Rio's head snapped towards him. "You're telling me our nearly indestructible superhuman teacher can be defeated by praise? And we get a break?"
"Temporarily defeated."
"We might actually have a way to survive."
A shadow suddenly loomed over the group. Nobody noticed at first. Everyone was too busy processing this information. Then a familiar voice spoke.
"HELLO STUDENTS!" He dawned an orange headband. "Time for our next activity!"
You clasped your hands together. "Please no. Our brains hurt."
He laughed. "No, dear! This will give you all a break."
One minute Koro-sensei was there. The next he was gone.
He returned less than a minute later with a beach chair, blanket, pajamas, a sleep mask, face mask, and a teddy bear. And though you hadn't thought it possible, his smile was even brighter.
You all watched as he pulled another headband out of his pajamas. An orange one. And in bright letters NAP was spelled across it.
"We're going to have a nap lesson!"
Oh god.
What was with this guy?
-😈-
By the time the two of you reached the bottom of the mountain, your legs felt like they belonged to someone else. Someone weaker.
Possibly elderly.
Rio glanced sideways at you as you nearly missed a step.
"Oh my god."
"I'm fine."
"You're walking like a toddler."
"I'm fine."
"You just tripped over air."
"The air started it."
Rio laughed so hard she had to stop walking. "You are unbelievable."
"I'm exhausted. Koro-sensei chased me around the school yard to chase away negative thoughts or something. Apparently I wasn't positive enough." You threw your face in your hands. "I don't even know man."
"Yikes. And here I was thinking my complete re-enactment of a government debate was bad." The blonde grimaced. "Come on. My place isn't much farther."
You sighed dramatically. "Carry me."
"No."
"Please."
"No."
"I offer funny commentary in return."
"I don't have high hopes. Your one girl comedy show was horrible."
"That's so mean."
"Truth hurts, babe."
-😈-
Twenty minutes later, you found yourself collapsed face-first onto Rio's living room carpet. The room smelled faintly like vanilla. A ceiling fan spun lazily overhead. And for the first time all day-
Silence. Beautiful. Wonderful. Silence.
Rio dropped onto the couch with a groan. "God."
"Mhm."
"My soul left my body during history."
"Mine left during science."
"The volcano?"
"The volcano. That thing nearly took off my brows."
A moment passed.
Then simultaneously-
The two of you started laughing. Neither of you could stop. Because honestly? The whole day had been ridiculous. Completely and utterly ridiculous.
Eventually Rio mustered enough strength to wipe the tears from her eyes. "We're never surviving this."
"We absolutely are not."
"Good."
"You really need to elaborate."
"End our suffering now."
You snorted. "Calm down edge lord. Just pick a movie."
A while later, the movie was playing.
The opening music of Spirited Away drifted softly through the room while the two of you sat buried beneath blankets and surrounded by enough junk food to concern a medical professional.
Rio had somehow dug out three different kinds of chips from her backpack.
You weren't asking questions.
The movie had barely reached the tunnel scene when Rio suddenly spoke.
"You know."
"Hm?"
"This is nice."
You glanced over. The blonde was staring at the television. Not really watching it. Just staring.
You smiled. "Yeah."
"We should do this more often."
"We say that every time."
"And every time school tries to kill us."
"True."
Rio grabbed another handful of chips. "You think we're actually going to survive midterms?"
"No."
"Cool."
"Cool."
The conversation drifted naturally after that. Movies, school, assassination, teachers. The fact that Koro-sensei apparently owned enough educational costumes to outfit a small theater company.
At one point Rio was trying to convince you he'd been secretly stealing props from small theaters between periods. You argued he probably made them himself.
Neither theory was comforting.
Eventually the topic shifted toward classmates. Which was how Okada came up again.
Rio groaned. "I'm serious, she looked awful."
"She's stressed."
"She's going to explode."
"Probably."
"We need that sleepover."
You nodded immediately. "Definitely."
"Everyone's been tense lately." Rio sank deeper into the couch. "Midterms."
"Assassination."
For a while, neither of you spoke.
The movie continued.
Chihiro was currently dealing with problems that somehow felt less stressful than your actual life. Which was saying something. Then-
Rio's voice cut through the quiet.
"So."
You immediately narrowed your eyes. "Oh no."
"What?"
"That was a dangerous 'so.'"
Rio grinned. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
You groaned. "Here we go."
The blonde sat up slightly. "Do you like anyone?"
"..."
"..."
"Oh for the love of- that's your question?"
Rio laughed. "What? It's a normal question."
"Where did that even come from?"
"I don't know."
"Liar."
"Okay, maybe I know."
You tossed a pillow at her. She caught it effortlessly.
Coward.
"Seriously though." Rio settled back against the couch. "Do you?"
You considered it and shrugged. Honestly, you still couldn't get spilling the beans to Nagisa out of your head. It was traumatizing. And well . . .
Bless her heart, but Rio had a big mouth.
"I don't know."
You watched as she squinted her eyes, scrutinizing you like you might crack. And in all honesty, you nearly did. Because while she was a blabbermouth, you really did want to tell her.
She was your oldest friend.
Well, other than Karma.
Rio raised an eyebrow. "That's suspicious."
"It's not."
"That's exactly what someone suspicious would say."
You rolled your eyes. "I'm serious."
"Uh-huh."
"I am."
The blonde studied you for a moment. Then surprisingly-
She let it go.
"Fair enough."
You blinked. "That's it?"
"That's it."
"No interrogation?"
"Not today."
"What happened to you?"
Rio gasped dramatically. "I can be respectful."
"No you can't."
" . . . Okay fine. There's just a very limited number of guys who are easy on the eyes in this class. Unless you count Karasuma."
A smile tugged at your lips.
Beside you, Rio yawned. A huge one.
You laughed.
"Tired?"
"No."
"You almost unhinged your jaw."
"Mind your business."
"Never."
The blonde threw a piece of popcorn at your forehead. You retaliated immediately. The popcorn war lasted approximately twelve seconds before both of you started laughing too hard to continue.
And for the first time all week-
Maybe even longer-
Everything felt light. With Rio, there was no studying, no pressure, no impossible exams, no mountains, no assassinations. Just a movie.
Turns out all you really needed was a quiet evening and a friend.
And hopefully tonight, you manage to get a proper twelve hours of sleep.
One that wasn't interrupted by Koro-sensei in a headband.