Chapter Text
XI: Loser Of The Year
What’s the point of being on top, all the money in the world,
If I can’t blow it all on on you?
So, send the cars back, put the house on the market,
And my big dreams too.
Because it’s all so clear, now without you here,
I’m the loser of the year.
“Are you feeling okay, Viv? Do you need anything? I can run to the store for you.” Nico fussed, busying himself with Vivian’s pillows and getting food and water. Lewis rolled his eyes at him. “Do you feel warm?”
“Nico, I’m fine. I’m just sorry I kept you guys from work today. I know Seb could use some help with you know what.” Vivian apologized, the German had been sulking last time she saw him. Nico was supposed to be scheduled for a shoot today but he cancelled it until further notice to look after Vivian. “You’re both always looking after me”
“Nonsense, it’s completely fun. Nico likes to fuss so it’s a nice change for him to be fussing over you instead of me or Seb.” Nico swatted Lewis on the shoulder but the Brit just kept laughing.
“Want to watch a bit of TV?” Nico asked and Vivian laughed awkwardly before nodding. Sometimes, Nico can be too much but she’s glad to have him around.
Nico turns on the TV.
And on other news, tonight is the release of Kimi Räikkönen’s latest album. Fans are scrambling to buy a copy as much controversy develops around it’s release. The album, now named SEB-
“Lewis” Nico mutters, eyes wide in shock. “Do you know about this?” he asked a little frantically.
“No, I-” he stutters and it dawns on him, Sebastian. Did Seb see this? Kimi would never-
Someone’s phone rings and for once it’s not Lewis’.
“This is Nico” he answers, pacing the corner of the room. He freezes upon recognizing the rough Austrian tone. “Niki?” he mutters, wondering why on Earth Niki Lauda was calling him. He’s Seb’s manager.
“Just wanted to tell you this is not Kimi” Niki said blatantly, he must have seen the news as well. “The album, it was named Robin” he clarified, not giving Nico a chance to ask.
“Well, who-”
“Miss Vertanen and I did” Niki said with a sharp smirking edge to his tone, it figures. “Sebastian will be wanting someone to drive him to the concert, yes?” Nico blinked at his phone for a couple of seconds, not knowing what to do with this information.
“Are you sure about this?” Nico asked quietly, quizzical about the entire thing. Sebastian certainly didn’t need to be let down again. Niki lets the silence drag on for the barest of seconds before clearing his throat. “Yes”
“We’ll be there” Nico said, hanging up and dragging Lewis with him out the door. “I’m sorry, Viv. We’ll be back later” he yelled over his shoulder earning glares from the nursing staff but Vivian only laughed and waved them goodbye.
“Send me a video, yeah?” she grinned.
“What do you mean my album’s name is Seb??? Is not-” Kimi groused into the phone’s receiver, catching Minttu’s knowing gaze from the corner of his eye. She was laughing. “Do you know about this?” Kimi asked, hanging up on the receptionist at the agency. It was probably for the best she wouldn’t be able to answer his questions.
“Niki and I were talking during Sebastian’s concert-” she started, still smirking like the Cheshire Cat.
“You did this?” Kimi frowned, feeling betrayed. But Minttu only raised a hand to silence him.
“You love him” she said, completely serious.
“I am not”
“You are”
“I can’t be!” Kimi shouted, the frustration finally beginning to get to him. Curse this woman-
“You said can’t” Minttu wiggled a finger at him, hands at her waist like she was his mother and she was telling him off for eating cookies from the cookie jar. “We both know you’re gay”
“Bi” Kimi answered, irritated by her nitpicking.
“Only for the press” she retorts and Kimi can only grumble at that because she’s right and he knows it. “Go on and do your concert” she insisted, shooing him out the door.
She smirked. “What’s a little album name going to do?”
Sebastian was speechless.
Kimi Räikkönen’s latest sensation, a song called Breath from the album SEB, is already climbing the charts and is currently sitting comfortably at number 7-
It’s the same song from the CD Minttu gave him, it’s been released. “Huh” he hummed, taking popcorn from the bowl Fabian was holding. “Aren’t you going to do something about that?” Fabian asked, gesturing to the TV.
Sebastian thought about that for a moment before Fabian tossed him a jacket.
“And fix your hair, you look like you’ve been inside a hurricane” Fabian said, shoving more popcorn into his mouth and changing the channel. Sebastian smiled and ruffled his little brother’s hair.
He was already sprinting out the door when he bumped straight into Nico and Lewis.
Nico’s hand – which was raised to press the doorbell – stretched out to grab Sebastian’s. “You need a drive to Kimi’s concert?” he grinned and Sebastian could only blink at him in surprise.
“How did you-”
“We’ll explain on the way” Lewis said, shoving Sebastian into their car. “Right now, you have a concert to go to.”
Kimi’s drenched head to toe in sweat, the number of people attending the concert had doubled after the release of SEB and while Kimi knew that was the proper name of his album now he still felt chills when people pointed it out. Minttu was right, of course she was, this album was all inspired by the German. Kimi had fallen for him.
And now, everyone knew.
“Just the way it should be” Niki said, patting Kimi on the back. He was just about ready to get back on stage for the final song and the band was anxious for reasons unknown to Kimi. “I thought you should know there’s been a change of songs” Kimi raised a brow at Niki, hasn’t he done enough to surprise Kimi today?
The band started playing a familiar rhythm and Kimi’s eyes widened, staring at his adopted father. “Your song” he said.
Loser of the Year.
Niki shrugged, feeling a little proud of himself and of his son. “It’s your song now” he said, punching Kimi playfully on the shoulder. “For Seb” he grinned and Kimi laughed at how ridiculous his father was being.
“For Seb”
“Ladies and Gentlemen,” James shouted into the microphone, smirking proudly. “Kimi Räikkönen!”
Kimi strolled onto the stage, holding loosely onto the microphone as the band behind him began to sing the opening lyrics. Yeah, ey.
‘Yeah ey!’ Kimi headbanged, basking in how the crowd came alive and how the guitar came in to match the beating of his heart. Kimi swooped in to take command of the song.
‘There’s a lot of talk about me, and people lining up to meet me!’ he hummed along, the memory of meeting Sebastian invading his thoughts. He had been in line to meet him then, maybe this really was his song. ‘I’m on a verge of celebrity’ Kimi jumped, pointing at the crowd. Girls swooned loudly, all screaming his name.
‘So what you think about that?’ Kimi grinned.
“He’s here!” Nico yelled and Niki barely heard him above the screams of the fans. He smiled at Sebastian, looking lost while he trailed behind Lewis and Nico.
“Good, just enough time for a little make-up.” Niki smiled, shoving Seb into a chair. He keeps being shoved around. Sebastian frowned. “Make-up? Why?” he asked.
Niki just clapped, beckoning the make-up artist and the wardrobe specialist over. “You’ll see”
‘So why do I feel like it’s all just a show?’ Kimi sang lowly before surging forward towards the crowd. ‘You make me wanna shut it all down, throw it all away’
‘Cause I’m nothing if I don’t have you.’ He reached down, holding the hands of his fans and chuckling when a couple of them fainted. ‘What’s the point of being on top, all the money in the world’
‘If I can’t blow it all on you?’ he shook his head and pointed at the crowd. ‘So, send the cars back’ Kimi threw his arms out, shouting the lyrics along with the fans completely in his element. ‘Put the house on the market’
‘And my big dreams too.’ Kimi sang, making a show of strumming at an invisible guitar. He pointed to the sky with his pointer finger, Seb’s sign. ‘Because it’s all so clear, now without you here’
‘I’m the loser of the year.’
The band tore it up, the guitar and the drums coming in strong before stopping completely. A hush fell over the stadium as Kimi clutched at the microphone and breathed.
‘I can try real hard, I can try to pretend’ he crooned, the piano playing softly behind him like a second voice. His eyes drifted shut, only him and the microphone. ‘That all these dreams make any sense without you.’
‘But that just ain’t true’
‘I thought these things would make me forget, about you and me but you’re stuck in my head!’ Kimi raised his hand, cuing for the drums to start up again. The fans started clapping, finding the beat of the drums and following it with their hands.
‘I’m a loser’ he whispered, swallowing a lump in his throat. ‘If I lose him.’
The drums give way and James’ voice is blaring across the stadium again.
“Make some noise for Sebastian-” James announced loudly. “Vetteeeeeeel!”
Kimi’s eyes shoot open and he turns, blue-gray meeting sky blue and he feels like his heart is burning up because it’s Sebastian. Kimi knows the fans are screaming but all he hears is Seb singing and all he sees is Seb walking towards him frozen in this moment in front of thousands of people.
Kimi finally, properly realizes he’s in love.
‘You make me wanna shut it all down, throw it all away’ Sebastian sings, looking awkwardly at Kimi with a mic in his hand. ‘Cause I’m nothing if I don’t have you.’ He points at the Finn, taking his rightful place by Kimi’s side. Kimi continues to stare.
‘What’s the point of being on top, all the money in the world’ Sebastian nudges at Kimi sheepishly and when the Finn still doesn’t react he takes Kimi’s free hand. ‘If I can’t blow it all on on you.’
The crowd dissolves into hysterics, screaming their names at the top of their lungs. This finally tugs Kimi out of his shock and he smiles wide and real at Sebastian, both men still singing the song but thinking of each other. ‘You make me wanna shut it all down, throw it all away cause I’m nothing if I don’t have you.’
‘So, send the cars back, put the house on the market?’ Sebastian shrugs adorably and blushes when Kimi’s fingers twist their way around his. ‘And my big dreams too.’
‘Because it’s all so clear’ Kimi tilts his head, pulling Sebastian closer to himself and brushing his unruly hair back. The crowd yells in approval and one particular girl screams “kiss him”. ‘That I need you near’
‘Yeah it’s all so clear, that without you here’ Sebastian smirks, dropping his microphone in favor of grabbing Kimi by the neck and their lips meet in a searing kiss as the fireworks go off in the distance.
I’m the loser of the year.
The fans screaming “Simi! Simi! Simi”! are long forgotten and the drummer has to bang his drumstick on the cymbals to remind them to stop because they’re still in public.
They’re grinning like crazy, smiling against each other’s lips when Niki goes out to get them.
“Thank you for watching the concert! We hope you had a good night!” James announces, allowing the two to have their moment.
Kimi is laughing when the curtain closes on them. “I guess we need to thank Niki now?” he mutters, still holding Sebastian’s hand while they walk backstage.
“And Minttu” Sebastian hums in agreement and Kimi laughs some more.
“And Minttu”
Sebastian stops walking and Kimi turns to face him, to see what’s wrong. “What?” he asks and Seb replies by throwing a towel at him.
“You’re all sweaty” he chuckles and Kimi rolls his eyes, wiping the sweat off his face. Once he’s done, Seb kisses him again, chastely. Like a promise. “I love you” he whispers into Kimi’s lips and Kimi’s heart stops for a moment, like this was what his life was building up to.
This moment, with Seb.
“I love you too”
And he was right, without Seb he was just a loser trying and failing at life. Anyone who said otherwise was an idiot.