Archive of Our Own

10:15 PM

 Dick gutted out his lower lip in a pout, and he placed his hands onto his cheeks as he leaned against the kitchen counter. He wished that midnight would just hurry up and come sooner, so he could prove that he was in fact a ‘grown-up’ and was able to stay up for New Years. He squinted at the clock, trying to will it to move faster but to no avail. 

He could feel his eyes drooping ever so slowly, even as he rubbed against them with his knuckles. Dick felt himself slowly leaning into the stack of pancakes that his Auntie Karla had made to satisfy his late night appetite. His ears were beginning to block out all the hustle and bustle that was going on in the living room, as people chatted and laughed with the sound of music echoing throughout the house. Along with the powerful wind howling outside, that provided a sort of entrancing sound that was lulling Dick to sleep. 

 Dick was beginning to cave into his desire to sleep, leaning into what his sleep-deprived mind assumed was a pillow. He was just going to rest his eyes for a second, no one would even have to know. It wasn’t like he was sleepy , he just needed to take a considerably long blink, that was all.

“Now, what do we have here?” 

Dick’s head shot up with a considerable amount of blood rushing through it, making his vision slightly blurry as he locked eyes with Johnny Jr. who had a teasing grin playing at his lips. 

“I wasn’t sleeping! I’m not sleepy, who said I was sleepy?” Dick spluttered, laughing nervously as he straightened himself out, trying to rid himself of any drowsiness, even though he still felt his eyelids getting heavier by the second. 

“I wouldn’t dare insinuate such a thing,” Johnny hummed, his grin getting wider by the second as he gestured to the now indented pancakes, “I just assumed everyone hugged their pancakes before eating.” 

Dick huffed and gave a hurried nod as he tried to give off an air of confidence, “They do, it is a very popular practice! Anyway, I wasn’t sleeping, my eyes were, uh, taking a long blink?” 

“A long blink?” 

“Yes?” 

Johnny rolled his eyes and gave a sly smirk, “You aren’t sleepy? Alright then, I guess you don’t need me to carry you upstairs after all.”

He then shrugged and strolled off into the hallway, not before giving Dick a mocking wave, “Enjoy hugging your pancakes, Dickie!” 

Dick watched Johnny stroll out, whistling an upbeat tune to himself. He decided to weigh out his options, as he could keep trying to force himself awake for the next two hours only to most probably find himself asleep on another inanimate object once more before the clock hit twelve, or he could get his cousin to give back his offer, and besides, he always had next year to try and stay up for New Years.

“Johnny?” Dick called out, arms stretched out in expectancy as he saw a head pop up by the door frame. 

Johnny had a smile plastered onto his face that resembled his own so perfectly that people would often mistake the two as siblings. Many would also say it was a trademarked Grayson smile, one that simply oozed pride and vibrancy.

Dick thought the same, but he also thought of Johnny as an older brother so he never did mind people making that mistake. He was everything Dick wanted to be at that age, and while he would never tell him this to his face as to keep Johnny’s annoyingly large ego in check, but Dick looked up to his cousin tremendously. He always aspired to be as good a gymnast and just as good a person as he was, even if teasing him was the highlight of Dick’s day whether they were in the circus or not. 

“You called?” Johnny teased, chuckling softly as he swiftly scooped Dick into his arms with tremendous ease and ran a hand through his younger cousin's wild curls as he proceeded to walk into the hallway, “Ready to admit that you were definitely sleepy?” 

Dick giggled and nestled his cheek into the crook in Johnny’s neck. Stubbornness was also a trait that ran through the Grayson line, and Dick was absolutely no exception. 

“Nope.”

Johnny burst out into laughter, then glanced at Dick with a mischievous gleam in his eyes that Dick had also inherited. He quickly placed an arm behind Dick’s back and dipped him so low to the ground that the ends of his hair were very barely touching the floor. His laughing got even louder as Dick let out a surprised squeal and stretched his hands out to try to cling back onto his cousin’s slightly wrinkled but still quite formal dress shirt.

“Admit that you were sleeping.”

Admit that Johnny was right? That wasn’t in Dick’s dictionary, nor will it ever be. 

“I wasn’t sleeping!”

Johnny gave a heave of a sigh, and slowly began to remove his hand off of Dick’s back and slacken his grip on him. This caused Dick to become even more panicky as he tried to contort his body upwards before he started slipping too much.

“Honesty is the best policy,” Johnny sang teasingly, “You should be lucky that I’m teaching you what’s right from wron-.” 

“I’ll tell everyone what you did to the bike Auntie Mariela got you for Christmas!” Dick screamed, and could feel a triumphant smirk coming on as Johnny hastily pulled Dick back up and clamped a hand over his mouth.

Johnny leaned back slightly as he peered into the living room that they had just passed. He scanned the room to make sure that no one had heard what Dick had just hollered out. No one seemed to have noticed, as there were so many people all congregated together chatting. Johnny then turned his head to Dick with an eyebrow raised and a questioning look, that indicated that Johnny wasn’t moving his hand unless Dick stopped talking. 

Dick nodded with a cocky grin as Johnny slowly but surely removed his hand, “You are one crafty little kid, you know that right?” 

He snuggled back into his cousin's grip and wrapped his arms around his neck once more with a soft giggle. He felt Johnny let out a sigh of amusement, as he turned back to the living room and waved his hand to get Dick’s parent's attention.

Johnny quickly mouthed that he was taking Dick upstairs and Dick’s mother nodded as she turned away from one of the guests, giving Dick a flying kiss as well as a soft wave. Dick returned the favour from over his cousin's shoulder as Johnny lumbered up the somewhat creaky wooden stairs. 

“We’ll probably be snowed in for the night. The blizzard outside is getting way worse, which means you get the first pick on where to sleep without having to share,” Johnny said as he opened the door to Dick’s room. 

During the winter holidays, the Graysons usually decided to spend their vacation with the circus and use the vacation they received in the summer to visit certain family members across the globe. They had decided this year to use their winter break to stay in the remote village that Dick’s paternal grandmother had come from. They had numerous family members as well as old family friends that resided there and his father had inherited an old family home that was riding on the outskirts of the village and up a wide hill. They had decided to invite all of Dick's ‘Aunties’ and ‘Uncles’ for New Years Eve, which was now looking like not a great idea as the blizzard raged on.

-(Although his Aunties and Uncles weren’t all exactly related to him, he still had to refer to them as such out of respect. It was a habit that stuck with Dick for a while, even to the point of accidentally referring to Selina Kyle as Auntie Selina. However, he could tell it amused the con-woman greatly.)-

Dick had gotten as comfortable as he could on the small bed, and was burying himself deeper into the velvet-like blankets. He peered up at his fourteen year old cousin, who was leaning over to close the lamp while leaving the door of the room open, knowing how fearful Dick was of the dark even if he was already eight years of age. 

“You’re all settled in, right?” Dick gave a soft nod and a bright smile as he felt his eyes once more become heavier and heavier. 

He felt Johnny ruffle his hair a little, “Goodnight then, don’t let the bed bugs bite.” 

Just as Dick heard Johnny’s footsteps slowly begin to stray, he shot his hand out to grasp onto his cousin's sleeve. The fear of being alone surged through him, as he clung onto the sleeve like his life depended on it. It was purely instinctual, but Dick had never been truly alone for such a long period of time, and the childish fear was gripping his mind tightly. It was even worse that he didn’t have Zitka here to comfort him and guide him to sleep because he had forgotten her back in the circus. He knew it was a little ridiculous but he really couldn’t care less, Dick needed someone to stay with him and that someone was Johnny.

There was a pause, but Dick kept his eyes trained onto the sleeve as Johnny shifted Dick to the side of the bed to make room for himself. He pulled the blankets over him and without saying a word, opened his arms wide for Dick. 

Dick didn’t need to be told twice. 

He hopped into his cousins waiting arms and gave an excitable, “Thank you!”

Johnny snickered and laid on his back with his head resting against the headboard, cradling Dick in his arms, “Now, do you need a story or are you good for tonight?” 

Dick gave a scrutinizing look, examining his cousin with a thorough -(but feigned- ) distaste as he crossed his arms and raised his brow, “I don’t think you’re smart enough to come up with a story.” 

Johnny scoffed and sat up with a determined start, “I’m plenty smart, and I’ll come up with the best story you’ve ever heard, got it?”

Dick tried to stifle a giggle as he desperately attempted to maintain his aloof smirk, “I would love to see you try!” 

With a flick to Dick’s nose, Johnny hummed as he tried to think of a story to appease his cousin, ignoring the fact that said cousin was attempting to flick Johnny’s nose back. 

“Once upon a time there was an annoying, hyperactive and bratty little prince named, uh, Richie? Anyways, Richie was always terrorizing his more talented, intelligent, and awesome older cousin named Johnny—Hey! That’s enough flicking my face for one day, I’ll change the name, alright? The cousin’s name was Ronny, happy? Anyways, Prince Richie was really getting on Ronny’s nerves, like just absolutely ruining his day. Prince Ronny then decided that in retaliation, he would put the little prince into a delivery box and ship him off to Austria! He hatched a plan to lay the delivery box right by a flight of stairs so that while Richie was running down the stairs he would accidentally step into it and get caught! It really was a brilliant plan—You know what? I might just use it—.” 

Johnny’s voice was becoming farther and farther as Dick slowly but surely drifted off into sleep. He was still gripping Johnny’s shirt tightly and was curled up next to him, but he was beginning to venture into the land of dreams as Johnny wove the tale of Prince Richie and Prince Ronny. However, just as Dick was on the cusp of fully delving into darkness, he heard a few footsteps edge closer to the bed, and a squeaky voice that he recognized in his haze as one of Johnny’s friends began to surface. 

“Is Dick asleep yet?” 

“Hm? Yeah, he’s out like a light.”

“Great! Everyone’s saying that we’re going to be snowed in tonight, but it still hasn’t hit midnight so they’re determined to have a good time. Do you wanna come downstairs? Mr. Moreno got the TV working and Mrs. Vitto is trying to shovel through the snow!” 

“I’m good, thanks.” 

“Uh, are you sure? You can just tell his parents that you don’t wanna babysit anymore, they’re the ones who sent me to check up on him anyways.” 

“Yeah, I’m fine,“ Johnny’s response had a certain finality to it, leaving there no room for arguing or negotiating. This resulted in another series of footsteps that left the room in silence once more. 

A warm and comforting feeling surrounded Dick as he leaned his head onto Johnny’s chest, and said cousin rubbed relaxing circles into Dick's shoulders.

All thoughts of New Years slipped away, as Dick found himself far happier in the current position he was in than in any other he could have been in, regardless of whether he fulfilled his life long dream of staying up until midnight. 

“I’m heading upstairs B.” 

Grunt.

Dick tried desperately to snuff out the anger that was bubbling up to his throat for what seemed like the millionth time in this entire night. He was trying his absolute best to make amends with Batman but it simply wasn’t working, and Dick was getting tired of being the only one reaching out.

He hadn’t even wanted to come to Gotham, but he had caught wind that a mob boss he had been tailing for months on end was staying in Gotham City for the time being. Dick had tried to avoid Batman, but he could never truly escape the larger than life shadow that the man projected. 

Dick sighed deeply and turned to Batman, just on the verge of apologizing for what had happened. They had had another nasty argument in the Batmobile, which surprisingly wasn’t even one of their worst. However, Dick clamped his mouth shut after seeing Batman buried in piles upon piles of paperwork, not sparing him a second glance. 

(-Bruce would have addressed the problem, even if it was in his own awkward way, but Batman could never nor will ever do so.- ) 

Another wave of anger rolled off of Dick, which resulted in him spinning on his heel in a hurry and storming up the stairs that led into the Manor. He couldn’t even talk to the asshole without feeling the urge to scream or break the closest object. It felt like lifetimes ago that Dick had been able to decipher Batman’s moods by the quality of his grunts, and maybe he still could, but he didn’t want to try anymore. He was tired of the suffocatingly irritating darkness that shrouded his life in Gotham, and he was tired of Batman being the harbinger of that darkness. He knew the man cared, ( -Did he?-) but he showed it in the worst possible facets.

-( Does he care about Dick, or does the mission take priority as always?)-

Dick ripped the domino mask off his face, bracing himself for the slight sting that always occurred afterward. He fiddled with it for a bit, pondering over why he had accepted Batman’s help in the first place. It was the most logical thing to do, as Batman could sniff criminals out better than any bloodhound, but something inside of Dick was pushing him to accept the help. He wanted things to be better between the two, it was all he ever wanted, but it always seemed to come at a cost. Whatever decision he made only seemed to harm his relationship with his second father, or it came back to harm him. There was never an in-between and Dick hated it.

He hated a lot of things recently. Dick hated that he was nursing a nasty bruise on his upper back because he was too preoccupied with getting Batman to just let him handle the situation that he had let some grunt get the better of him. He hated that coming to Gotham meant coming back to face all the problems he’d rather ignore. He also hated that Alfred lived in Gotham because he missed the older man more and more as the days dragged on, it was the only reason he had come up to the Manor tonight anyways.

Dick pulled himself out of his buzzing thoughts, as he stopped by the living room door that was wide open. The room was dimly lit by the dying fire in the hearth, and Dick could hear what he perceived to be someone snoring, very loudly. Confusion muddled his mind, as the only plausible person that could be awake at this hour would be Alfred, seeing as the man always had a bad habit of waiting until Batman was attended to before going to rest himself. However, Dick thoroughly doubted that the man snored that loudly. 

Slowly but surely, Dick walked into the room. He tiptoed across the large room with the natural grace that he had instilled within him and peered over the couch to see who exactly was there. 

Shit.

Jason was spewed out on the couch, earphones shoved into his ears with the music just slightly slipping out. Papers were equally spewed out across the coffee table and the couch itself, with textbooks flung everywhere and a wide open copy of Moby Dick placed right under Jason’s chin. His replacement was fast asleep, snoring louder then anyone Dick had ever heard. 

Dick was frozen to his spot, unable to move as a bitter feeling burned against his stomach. Breathing became a reminded chore as he willed his eyes to look in any direction that wasn’t Jason because he was the embodiment of everything Dick wasn’t and had wanted to run away from. He was the better model of Dick, the new and improved Dick that Batman had acquired because he didn’t need him anymore. He hadn’t even bothered to apologize or talk to Dick because instead he just plucked up another kid as a way of erasing Dick from his life.

( -Dick was still unsure if it was Batman who had thrown Dick out like yesterday’s trash, or if it was Bruce. He really hoped it was Batman.)-

Dick was leaving, there was no question about it now. He would leave Alfred a quick note or anything, as long as he got the hell out of this home. He had noticed that Jason hadn’t been with Batman on patrol, but he didn’t overthink it and it wasn’t brought up. 

The rustling of paper stopped Dick just as he reached the door frame. He craned his neck and body back to see if Jason had woken up but no such sign. He heard a string of angry mutterings and more movement as if Jason was uncomfortable in his position. 

Dick weighed his options out, carefully and methodically. He wasn’t at all obligated to do anything for the kid, it wasn’t like he was his brother. The kid had decided to sleep on the couch with all his work everywhere, so he could bear the consequences. Dick didn’t even know how to be a brother, so why bother trying? 

-(That was a bold-faced lie and deep down Dick knew it. He knew exactly how to be an older brother, because he had had one of the best examples. He simply didn’t want to be, and that was the cold truth that was eating Dick alive-)- 

The other option was that he would haul the kid up to his room, as quickly and as efficiently as he could, then he would get out of the Manor. There was always the risk that Jason would wake up, but then it would be less work for Dick. He could always just wake him up but the kid looked absolutely exhausted and had clearly spent most of his night studying. 

(He really shouldn’t care, but here he was, begrudgingly caring about the kid's wellbeing.)

After a deep sigh, Dick pinched the bridge of his nose and spun around in a hurry. He began picking up all the littered papers, stacking them quickly, and placing them onto the mahogany coffee table. The same was done with the books and writing utensils, as well as all the notebooks that Jason was shoving with his legs as he tried to find a comfortable spot on the couch. 

Dick then plucked up the copy of Moby Dick that was filled to the brim with sticky notes, and just as he was about to dog-ear the page and get on with it, he hesitated. It really didn’t matter if he did or not, the kid should be thankful he even did anything at all but there was a rising feeling of guilt filling Dick’s mind. He sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that night, as he searched around the room for any sort of bookmark he could use. He finally found a wrinkled and quite tattered bookmark that was mainly blank except for the neat print written in the middle. 

Jason Todd

After he set the book down, he turned to face Jason and began wondering over how exactly he was going to get him upstairs. Dick then leaned down and slung one of Jason’s arms around his neck and pulled the boy up, who stumbled slightly as he threw his weight into Dick. However, to his complete surprise, Jason didn’t stir one bit, ignoring the soft utterance of Bruce’s name. 

It was a struggle to get Jason to his room, as bracing all of the unnecessary amounts of staircases that adorned the Wayne Manor was a challenge in itself, not to mention he was carrying around what seemed more like a corpse rather than a person simply sleeping. However, eventually, Dick was able to find himself in the main corridor. 

Dick was praying that Bruce didn’t give the kid his room too, but it seemed entirely plausible. He had given away his identity to him, hadn’t he? What stopped him from giving away everything else Dick ever owned? 

The presence of Jason suddenly became far more noticeable as the thought bounced around in Dick’s head. He really should’ve left the kid on the couch, it hadn’t been any of his business. B would have brought him upstairs anyways, and Dick knew that so why did he even bother?

Dick felt himself ease tremendously when he stood in front of a door right next to his old one that had Jason’s name etched into it. He hastily pushed the door open with his foot and lugged Jason into the surprisingly neat room before placing him into his bed, pulling the covers up as quickly as he could. 

That’s it. Mission accomplished. Dick could go home with his conscience at ease, order some chow mein and continue to ignore his problems until he was six feet under. 

He spun on his heel, back on his original mission of getting the hell out of the Manor before he had to see Batman again. It was a great plan and one that would have gone smoothly if a hand hadn’t shot up and clung onto the fabric of Dicks uniform.

Dick froze, with his first thought to swat Jason’s hand away as the kid was probably reaching for a water bottle or something on his nightstand but instead had caught onto his wrist, or he had probably presumed that Dick was Batman (-God forbid.) However, Dick once again paused. He weighed his options out yet again , but this time the decision was made far quicker. 

He sat a little uncomfortably at the edge of Jason’s bed. He was practically leaning against then bed rather the sitting, but he stayed in place, his eyes now trained on Jason’s sleeping face. 

The kid looked so young , painfully so. His features were so much softer when they were relaxed as opposed to the bravado the little identity thief was always putting up. It reminded Dick of himself, which pained him more than anything. It would have been so much easier to hate and villainize the kid if he didn’t look so tiny and didn’t act so awkwardly nice. 

Dick knew that Jason was awkwardly nice because the kid had given a birthday gift to Dick even after he had made it abundantly clear that he didn’t want to see him or B, but the kid had also shoved the gift into Dick’s hands and dashed to the nearest elevator. The kid had then resorted to sending birthday cards, but Dick had tried his absolute hardest to ignore them because coming face to face with the fact that the kid wasn’t some sort monster out to steal his old life from underneath his feet was not pleasant, to say the least. 

It killed him because no matter how hard Dick tried to force himself into denial like he was doing just a few moments ago, he was acting like a spoiled child. 

As Dick unraveled Jason’s hand from his wrist he mulled over that thought. He was like a child who had discarded his toy ages ago but cried and whined when another kid came to appreciate it as well as play with it. That didn’t excuse Batman though, it never would. Robin was Dick Grayson, there were no two ways around it. He wasn’t a legacy or some role that anyone could just come in and fill, because Robin was who he was before he met Batman and after. B didn’t have the right to throw it around like he owned it, because Dick’s pride and joy was his alone. If anything, Dick should have known about it before it happened, no matter how awful things were between him and B. He shouldn't have known that B was adopting a child and had given away his identity to said child from his local news station.

Jason wasn’t at fault though. 

-(Even if he despised how easily and readily Bruce had adopted Jason, just like how easily and readily he had screamed at Dick to get out.)-

Dick let out a deep sigh as he scrubbed his face hastily, ignoring the black dots that played around in his vision. He had been tired of extending an olive branch to Bruce only to have it smashed to bits every time, but it dawned on him that he was the one destroying the branch that Jason was extending. The kid was still a snot-nosed little brat, but he was a snot-nosed brat that Dick could possibly see becoming family, sometime in the very far future. 

Bzzt

Bzzt

Wally: do u still wanna come to nyc tmrw w Artemis n i??

Dick: acc some stuff came up i can’t make it tmrw im sorry, btw would a petting zoo be fun for an annoying pre teen/teen??

Wally: dude i still wanna go to petting zoos

Dick: oh well guess that isn’t what i’m gonna do

Wally: oh well guess ur not getting a souvenir

Dick: i have at least 112 souvenirs dw i don’t need more lol have fun tmrw with artemis

Wally: n now ur still gonna have 112 and not 113 so HA, enjoy ur petting zoo adventure thing tmrw!!!

Dick stifled a snort with his palm and closed his phone as he pondered whether Jason would even want to go somewhere with him at all. He had been nothing but cold to the kid, but then again he gave him a birthday present . 

Dick’s bike was always an option, he knew that Jason loved it as every time he saw the kid he would be side-eyeing the motorcycle with just a hint of envy and jealousy. What better way to get to know him by letting him drive or at least ride on the bike? Batman wouldn’t approve, but that just made Dick want to try it so much more. 

His eyes fell on Jason again and he gave a small but crooked smile for what felt like the first time that night. The identity thief better like petting baby goats, and possibly going to the newest Gotham arcade later on. It was just a possibility but it was a possibility that Dick was beginning to be alright with.