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Jisung had been tiny when Chan had brought him home. Tiny and shaking and nothing more than skin and bones. Chan hadn’t been able to walk away from him, he hadn’t even been supposed to stop to look at him and Chan knew that had been why the employee at the shelter had tried so hard to get Chan to move on to look at one of the more appropriate hybrids for an idol trainee, but Chan knew what would happen if the bunny hybrid wouldn’t be able to sell and knew that the shelter wasn’t even trying and he couldn’t leave him. Which had been how he’d ended up with a young and weak bunny hybrid that hadn’t even been able to stand on his own. His friends had thought he was crazy and BamBam had told him his heart was too big but had helped Chan support Jisung enough to get him home. He’d been worried that he wasn’t going to be able to handle a bunny hybrid, supposedly they were higher maintenance than most hybrids because they weren’t as independent as a cat or a dog hybrid. The only difficulty with Jisung so far was that Chan had to guess if he needed anything because Jisung would never ask for anything, never complained about anything, and generally didn’t talk much unless Chan asked him questions. Jisung had gained some weight since Chan brought him home, but not a lot and Chan had done his best to find information on what he needed to be feeding Jisung to help with that but hadn’t found anything beyond people saying that most bunny hybrids needed to be vegetarian and information on how to help bunny hybrids lose weight. Chan had decided after reading what he could that the two of them could go vegetarian if it was going to help Jisung be healthier, because the younger was still pretty weak and his hands shook a lot. BamBam had done his best to ask the idols he knew that had bunny hybrids what else Chan could do to help and had come up with less than Chan had found online. Which Chan could not wrap his head around. How could someone have a bunny hybrid and not know what needed to be done for them? BamBam had finally shrugged and told him to ask Jisung, see if he knew. Chan hadn’t planned to, because he was pretty sure Jisung wouldn’t have any idea. But he’d been out extra late and come back at four in the morning from the studio and had been surprised to find Jisung still awake, sitting in Chan’s bed with his legs pulled up to his chest and the oversized hoodie he was wearing pulled over them, blinking and looking tired. His eyes were rimmed in red as if he’d been crying.
“Jisung-ah?” asked Chan rubbing a hand over his face and closing the door to his tiny room behind him. He’d used to share it with another trainee but was on his own now. The other two trainees in the dorm were in the other room.
“Why are you still awake? Have you slept at all?” asked Chan setting his backpack on the ground and toeing off his shoes.
“Sorry,” whispered Jisung, “I couldn’t.”
“That’s okay,” said Chan nodding, “do you think tea would help?” Jisung cocked his head, his floppy ears falling over his shoulder.
“I don’t know, hyung,” said Jisung quietly. It had taken Jisung months to stop hesitating before using hyung instead of sir and Chan was glad that he’d adjusted to that.
“Alright, let’s try,” said Chan nodding, “I’m going to shower real quick and then we can have some tea, okay?” Jisung nodded. When Chan finished showering Jisung hadn’t moved from his spot at all. Chan rubbed a hand through his wet hair, hoping it didn’t get too curly since he wasn’t going to bother with the blow dryer at this time of night. He grabbed one of his hoodies and pulled it on over his head.
“Let’s sit in the main room and watch tv, Jisungie, it’s the holidays so its just us here for the next few days,” said Chan. Jisung nodded and stood up to follow Chan into the other room and swayed slightly when he did, hands reaching out for something to stabilize himself on. Chan caught his forearm quickly and held on until Jisung had stopped swaying and was looking at him without looking so dazed.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yes, sorry,” said Jisung nodding.
“Can you make it to the couch or do you want me to carry you?”
“I can make it,” said Jisung nodding quickly. Chan nodded.
“Okay, let me know if you need help,” said Chan releasing his arm and leading the way out of the room. Jisung followed him into the kitchen and Chan started heating water for tea and pulled down mugs for both of them before going to the fridge to grab some food for himself. He hesitated with the fridge open and looked over to where Jisung was huddled against he counter with his arms wrapped around himself.
“Jisungie, did you eat today?” asked Chan. It had taken him almost a month to realize that if he asked Jisung if he was hungry Jisung would tell him no whether he had eaten or not.
“No,” said Jisung shaking his head and Chan grimaced.
“Ji, you need to eat,” he said grabbing enough food for both of them, “you’ll get sick if you keep losing weight.” Jisung looked baffled.
“You weren’t here?” he asked quietly. Chan paused in getting them both food and turned to look at him.
“No?” he said nodding, “you still need to eat. Why does that make a difference?”
“I’m not supposed to eat if you don’t give me food?” asked Jisung quietly, “and I’m not supposed to leave the room without you.” Chan rubbed a hand down his face.
“I didn’t ever say that?” he asked hesitantly.
“One of the other humans told me not to leave the room without you,” said Jisung nodding, “and hybrids aren’t supposed to eat without permission from their owners.” Chan frowned.
“Okay, well, you have blanket permission to eat whenever you want to,” said Chan and Jisung just looked more confused.
“I don’t understand,” he said.
“I don’t want you to be hungry or hurt and I can’t always be here to make sure you get food throughout the day because my training keeps me busy,” said Chan trying to explain, “so if you need permission to eat I’m giving you permission for anytime you want food from this point on.”
“You don’t want to make sure I’m not eating things I’m not supposed to?” asked Jisung frowning.
“I mean as long as you don’t eat something you know will make you feel bad you can eat anything you want,” said Chan shrugging as he went back to getting them food. Once he had them both sat on the couch with food and tea Chan decided that maybe BamBam had the right idea in asking Jisung.
“Hey, Jisungie,” said Chan and Jisung’s head snapped up to look at him from where he’d been focusing on his food.
“Yes, hyung?” he asked.
“Do you know what kind of food is going to help you be healthy? I can’t find anything online about healthy food for bunny hybrids that isn’t people trying to have their hybrids lose weight and we definitely have the opposite problem,” said Chan.
“You want me to gain weight, hyung?” asked Jisung baffled.
“You’re underweight,” said Chan nodding, “it’s not healthy and you’re probably still growing too so you really need to be at a healthy weight. I just don’t know how to get you there.”
“If I gain much weight or get much taller you won’t be able to pick me up and move me around so easily though, hyung,” said Jisung looking confused.
“I mean, I can definitely keep picking you up,” said Chan shrugging, “if that’s what you want.”
“I don’t understand?” asked Jisung.
“If you’re gaining weight and growing taller that means you’re healthy,” said Chan nodding, “I don’t want you to be sick. If you’re worried that I won’t be able to keep picking you up I’ll just work out more and the problem’s solved. What kind of stuff did you eat before I adopted you?”
“Like with my breeder?” asked Jisung frowning, “or with other owners?”
“Um, both I guess,” said Chan.
“My breeder really only fed us vegetables like lettuce,” said Jisung shrugging, “bunnies that are too big don’t sell, especially American Fuzzy Lops we’re a show breed. I didn’t sell to someone who wanted a show hybrid. Mostly after that I got to eat whatever vegetables no one else wanted.” Chan paused in his eating.
“They only gave you scraps?” he asked quietly. Jisung nodded.
“Bunnies don’t make their value back much and it’s good we don’t eat much because it balances out the cost of buying us,” said Jisung sounding like he was reciting something someone had told him.
“So then you don’t know what is actually going to be healthy for you to eat,” said Chan frowning, “I’m not feeding you scraps, Jisungie.”
“If you think it’s better, hyung,” said Jisung nodding agreeably.
“You’ll tell me if you need something, right, Sungie?” asked Chan worried about the answer.
“Like if I’m hurt?” asked Jisung frowning.
“Yes, but also if you’re hungry or scared or can’t sleep,” said Chan nodding, “or if one of my roommates says something and you need me to talk to them.”
“Oh, I’m supposed to?” asked Jisung, “but those aren’t really problems, hyung?”
“Yeah, please tell me,” said Chan nodding, “it’s important to me.”
“Oh, okay,” said Jisung nodding.
“Why couldn’t you sleep earlier?” asked Chan.
“Bad dream,” said Jisung, “and it’s weird without you there, hyung.” Chan hadn’t known that bunny hybrids could have nightmares. But given the emotional range Jisung had already displayed and how much he understood that Chan hadn’t expected him to, Chan probably shouldn’t be surprised. There’d been a lot so far that had been wrong.
“Do you want to talk about it?” asked Chan, “sometimes that helps.”
“You want to listen?” asked Jisung looking shocked.
“Yeah,” said Chan nodding, “I want to hear anything you have to say. Even if it’s just that you don’t like spinach or something.”
“I don’t,” said Jisung sounding hesitant, “it’s weird.”
“I agree but it’s good for us so we can’t just not eat it,” said Chan grimacing, “we’ll eat it less? Do you want to talk about your dream? You don’t have to.”
“I just dreamed that you didn’t take me home,” said Jisung sounding hesitant, “so it was scary when you weren’t here when I woke up.”
“Sorry,” said Chan softly, “I meant to be back earlier and I got stuck at the studio.”
“I know you work really hard,” said Jisung smiling brightly and nodding. “You’re going to be an awesome idol, hyung, you’re so talented and you work really hard.”
“Thanks, Jisungie,” said Chan smiling. He’d have to make a point to be back earlier, he didn’t want Jisung to have to deal with things on his own. He also would have to make sure he was checking that Jisung was eating when Chan wasn’t around. He really didn’t want Jisung starving because Chan hadn’t been able to be back at the dorm all day.
The night that Jisung had attempted to do what he’d been trained to do had been like a bucket of ice water to Chan’s world view and had completely changed the way that he interacted with Jisung and hybrids in general. He’d done his best since then to address everything that Jisung had been expecting and what was different which had been almost everything. How do you teach someone how to be a person when they’d been trained to be nothing more than a toy their whole lives? It was slow going but they seemed to be making progress. Chan getting a new roommate who kept harassing Jisung even though Chan had made it very clear that he was to leave Jisung alone had meant that Chan had ended up asking his managers and instructors and JYP himself if he could register Jisung as emotional support and bring him with him. Which had solved the roommate problem and Jisung not being able to sleep well if Chan wasn’t there, but had worsened the fact that now they both would rather be in the studio working on music than in the dorm. So there were still things they were working through but it was better. Jisung was gaining more weight but he was still far too skinny, but Chan wasn’t worried since he was gaining weight. At least not until Jisung collapsed. He’d always been shaky and a little unstable, but Chan hadn’t expected him to just crumple. He suspected Jisung hadn’t either.
“Hyung,” said Jisung sounding panicked enough that Chan looked up immediately from his laptop but not in time to catch Jisung as he crumpled to the floor. It was like his strings had been cut, he just collapsed. Chan ran to him quickly.
“Jisung-ah? Jisung-ah, are you okay?” he asked trying to check how hard he had hit his head. Jisung didn’t wake up.
“Jisung, Jisung, you need to get up,” he said panicking slightly more. He couldn’t call the emergency responders they wouldn’t care the minute he told them it was his hybrid. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t have anyone he could call for help. There wasn’t a clinic open this late at night, there was no way. Chan scrolled through his phone and tried calling BamBam as he sat back down on the floor, carefully propping Jisung’s head in his lap, making sure he was still breathing.
“Channie?” asked BamBam answering the phone, “it’s two in the morning. Why are you awake?”
“Jisung collapsed. He passed out. I don’t know what to do. He won’t wake up,” said Chan trying not to sound frantic and knowing he was failing.
“Shit, okay. I’m coming. Where are you?”
“At the company,” said Chan, “I’m sorry. I know you’re busy with debut and that you need sleep. I didn’t know what to do.”
“Don’t apologize. I’ll be there in two minutes, I was awake anyway,” said BamBam.
“What do I do? I can’t take him to a hospital they won’t do anything. Shit, he can’t die. I don’t want him to die. That’d be my fault. I don’t know what to do.”
“Channie, you’re spiraling, you have to breathe. Take a deep breath, keep taking deep breaths it is going to be okay,” said BamBam, “I’ve got a friend who knows someone. I need to get off the phone with you to call him.”
“Okay,” said Chan.
“Don’t panic,” said BamBam, “Jisung’s going to be okay.”
“Okay.”
“I’m in the building now it won’t be more than a minute,” said BamBam and then he hung up. Chan shoved the phone into his pocket and checked Jisung’s pulse again. He brushed his hair out of his face and carefully readjusted his ears so they weren’t under his head. He couldn’t panic. If he panicked BamBam would have to take care of both of them and he wasn’t going to put that on BamBam. Chan was responsible for Jisung, so he would be responsible. The door slammed open and BamBam hurried in, phone pressed to his ear talking to someone.
“He’s really fucking pale, hyung,” said BamBam. “Okay. Okay. Call them. We’ll be there in fifteen minutes. I don’t care that it’s a thirty minute drive, we’ll be there in fifteen minutes. See you soon.” BamBam hung up and shoved the phone into his pocket.
“My car’s downstairs, we need to get Jisung in it. Jackson-hyung is friends with a hybrid doctor, Namjoon-ssi will help,” said BamBam. Chan nodded and moved to pick Jisung up. Jisung was scarily light, he had always been light, but like this Chan could tell he’d barely gained any weight in the past year and a half that he had lived with Chan. BamBam led the way out of the company building and to his car. He kept asking Chan questions as he started the car and they took off across town but Chan couldn’t pay attention to what they were. His hands were shaking and Jisung was so pale and limp. Chan couldn’t lose him. BamBam screeched to a stop outside a building on a relatively quiet looking street. Lights flicked on above several of the buildings, notably the café across the street turned on all their lights as well as a bookstore a few places down. A man bolted out of the bookstore towards them while a dog hybrid with big floppy ears shoved open the door of the building they were in front of and moved to help them. He pulled the door open for Chan since Chan had carefully pulled Jisung back into his arms.
“You got him or you want me to carry him?” he asked.
“I have him,” said Chan, not willing to hand Jisung off to a stranger.
“Okay, come on,” said the dog hybrid leading the way into the building. BamBam followed and Chan hurried after both of them. The man from the bookstore caught up and followed in after.
“Shit, BamBam-ah, he is really pale,” said the man.
“Jackson, BamBam, this isn’t your hybrid stay in the waiting room,” said a man in pajamas, looking rumpled but awake.
“What? No, I need BamBam,” said Chan panicking. The man sighed and nodded and BamBam followed them back into the clinic. The man instructed Chan to set Jisung down on the table.
“Taetae, can you tell Jackson to go wake Mark?” asked Namjoon.
“Yep,” said the dog hybrid and he hurried out of the room.
“I’m Dr. Kim Namjoon,” said the man to Chan as he started checking Jisung. “Can you tell me what happened?”
“Um, we were at the studio. I was working on a track and Jisungie always stays with me because my roommate is creepy. And Jisung-ah sounded panicked and I turned to see what was wrong and he collapsed. He wouldn’t wake up. I don’t know how hard he hit his head or what happened.”
“He’s extremely underweight.”
“I know. I’ve been trying to help him gain weight, he’s actually a little better than he was when I adopted him,” said Chan, “but I don’t know how and I couldn’t find anything that was helpful. Is he going to be okay?”
“I’m going to test bloodsugar, I would assume since it’s so late and you weren’t at home that you and him have not eaten much tonight?”
“Nothing since seven earlier when we got takeout,” said Chan shaking his head.
“I think it might be hypoglycemic shock since you said he’s not been gaining weight very well and just collapsed like that. But I won’t know until we test blood sugar,” said Namjoon. Another man in pajamas joined them and Taetae the dog hybrid was back. Namjoon immediately started explaining the situation to the other man and told Chan and BamBam that they could sit outside, they would need space to work. The dog hybrid and BamBam managed to convince Chan to sit in the waiting room.
“Channie, breathe,” said BamBam crouching in front of him once he had him sitting down. “Breathe.” He pushed Chan’s head between his knees. The man from the bookstore moved over to be at BamBam’s shoulder.
“Chan-ssi, it’ll be okay. He’s going to be okay. Namjoon will make sure he’s alright and will help you know how to keep this from happening again,” said the man.
“This shouldn’t have happened in the first place,” said Chan still panicky, “it’s my fault, he trusts me to keep him safe and I let him down. I don’t even know how. What if he’s not okay? Oh my god, what if he’s not okay and it’ll be my fault. Oh my god. He has to be okay. He’s all I’ve got. And oh my god it’ll be my fault if he’s not okay and that’s worse than this already being my fault.”
“Chan, Chan, Chan,” said BamBam trying to get his attention to pull him out of the spiral. “Chan, you have to breathe. We can’t have two medical emergencies, Jisung-ah is going to need you to have it together.”
“Better he fall apart out here than in there,” said another voice, this one sounding a little more awake. “We brought coffee. Hello, Chan-ssi, can you hear me?” BamBam moved aside to let a taller man with broad shoulders crouch in front of Chan. Chan nodded slightly.
“Alright, I need you to tell me your birthday,” said the man. Chan rattled off his birthday.
“And your hybrid’s too,” said the man. Chan listed Jisung’s birthday.
“Feeling a little more in control, Chan-ssi?”
“Yes, thank you,” said Chan hesitantly.
“Hyung, how?” complained BamBam.
“You can’t have a panic attack and recite numbers out of order,” offered the man, “nice to meet you, Chan-ssi. I’m Seokjin, Namjoon-ah will take care of your hybrid, don’t worry it will be just fine.”
“But what if something’s really wrong?” asked Chan quietly, “I can’t lose him it’d kill me.”
“You won’t lose him,” said Seokjin firmly, “he’s in the best hands for the situation. He will be perfectly fine. Tell me about him?” He pressed a warm cup into Chan’s hands and shifted to sit cross legged.
“His name’s Jisung and he’s so small,” said Chan, “way way too small, he’s grown a little bit since I got him which is good because I’m worried that it’ll make him sick but I don’t know what to do and couldn’t find anything online and doctors are expensive and the one we saw just laughed at me and said it was normal for bunnies. He’s American Fuzzy Lop and his ears are bigger than his head. He likes chocolate and giant blankets and cuddles and rap music and Twice.”
“Twice is awesome,” agreed Seokjin nodding, “very talented young women. How long has he lived with you?”
“Two and a half years,” said Chan nodding, “I can’t lose him, Seokjin-ssi, he’s all I’ve got.”
“Channie’s from Australia and left his family behind to move to Seoul for JYP,” said BamBam in explanation.
“And everyone that I’m friends with is debuting or has already left, mostly left,” said Chan nodding, “I need Jisung-ah way more than he needs me. I swear he’s smarter than I am, normally people laugh when I say that.”
“I mean, Jungkook is way smarter than BamBam,” offered Jackson pointing to where a tall boy with giant floppy bunny ears was sitting cross-legged in one of the chairs talking to Taehyung. He ducked his head at the sudden attention and shifted closer to Taehyung who just beamed.
“I’m right then, Jisungie is concerningly small,” muttered Chan eyebrows wrinkling together looking at Jungkook.
“Well, Jungkook’s also tall,” offered Seokjin, “and he’s English Lop which is a bigger kind of bunny than American Fuzzy tends to be so Jisung might just be short and you’re not too tall yourself, Chan-ssi. But you’re probably right thinking he’s too small. Kookie was tiny when I found him. Why don’t I give you my number and we can talk about appropriate foods some time. Namjoon-ah will give you a diagram but it’s not very specific and is very broad. So text me and we’ll talk food.”
“And come for dinner,” interrupted Jungkook and then flushed and huddled closer to Taehyung again, shy. “I don’t know other bunnies.”
“And come for dinner,” agreed Seokjin nodding. “You’re too skinny yourself, Chan-ssi, and definitely need to gain some weight.”
“Trainee, remember, I can’t, they’ll notice,” said Chan.
“I’m used to trainees,” pointed out Seokjin gesturing to BamBam who was sitting with Jackson. “Don’t stress.” Mark pushed the door open.
“He’s stable and will be just fine, Bang Chan-ssi, you can come sit with him while Dr. Kim explains what happened,” said Mark and Chan hurried to his feet handing Seokjin back the cup only to sway slightly and shake his head to clear it. BamBam jumped to his feet to catch him and steady him.
“Channie, how long has it been since you slept?” he asked quietly.
“Don’t know,” said Chan, “it’s fine. I’m fine. I’m good, you can let go, BamBam.”
“You need to take care of yourself, Chan,” said BamBam frowning.
“I am, I’m fine. I know my limits,” said Chan, “I haven’t hit them yet.”
“Staying awake until you hallucinate is not knowing your limits,” said BamBam.
“You’re going home with me,” declared Jackson nodding, “the minute Namjoon releases Jisung-ssi, you’re coming with me and getting sleep. Why am I plagued by JYP trainees who can’t take care of themselves?”
“Let’s go,” said Chan to Mark and Mark gave him a concerned look but led the way back to the room with Jisung, keeping an eye on him incase he started to fall again.
“We’re not a people clinic, Bang Chan-ssi, so please warn us if you’re going to pass out,” said Mark.
“I’m fine,” said Chan, “I just stood up too fast.” Mark pushed open the right door and Jisung was laid out on the bed. His coloring was much better but he wasn’t awake. Chan sat down in the chair next to it that Mark indicated.
“Alright,” said Namjoon, “firstly, he’s going to be just fine.” Chan breathed a quiet sigh of relief.
“What happened?” he asked.
“Jisung-ssi is hypoglycemic and his blood sugar levels weren’t high enough which sent him into hypoglycemic shock,” said Namjoon nodding. “I’m going to prescribe medicine he should take every day that will help keep this from happening again. You need to adjust his diet and make sure he is eating at regular intervals. He is also very underweight so you need to make sure he is eating healthy foods in healthy amounts to bring his weight up. Getting him to a normal weight will help prevent another episode. I’m also going to send you home with several kits with shots incase this happens again. I would like to walk you both through how to use them once he wakes up so you know what to do if he passes out again.”
“How do I get him to gain weight? I’ve been trying and his weight has hardly changed from what it was when I adopted him,” said Chan shaking his head, “I don’t know what to do.”
“He doesn’t have an eating disorder?” asked Namjoon and Chan shook his head. Namjoon nodded.
“Well, I’ll give you a list of foods that should help him gain weight a frequent eating schedule should help. It may be a side effect of the hypoglycemia going untreated or may just be that his metabolism is quick. Admittedly I have never treated hypoglycemia in a hybrid before so part of this will be trying things until we find what will work for Jisung-ssi,” said Namjoon nodding.
“Okay,” said Chan nodding.
“You’ll have to make sure that the schedule is working, Jisung-ssi may not tell you either way. Bunny hybrids tend to worry about how much it costs their owners to feed them as it’s not uncommon for them to be told that they don’t make back their worth very well as young kids,” said Namjoon, “speaking of young. Where exactly did you get Jisung-ssi? The paperwork says you’ve had him for a couple years now which would mean he was still very much underage when his breeder sold him to you.”
“I didn’t adopt him from a breeder,” said Chan shaking his head, “BamBam-hyung took me to a shelter a couple years back. The only reason I even left with a hybrid was because he was so young and tiny and the employees clearly weren’t taking care of him and it wasn’t a no kill shelter and he’d been there for so long already. I couldn’t leave him to that and it’s honestly the best decision I probably ever made. I know it’s weird and that I’m more attached to him than people think I should be, but Jisungie’s awesome and basically my baby brother and I don’t want to have to live without him and it scared the shit out of me earlier because I didn’t know what happened and if he gets hurt it’s my fault because it’s my job to be responsible.”
“That’s not bad,” said Namjoon shaking his head, “I mean it’s probably not healthy that you’re trying to take all the responsibility. Jisung-ssi’s not incapable, Chan-ssi, if you give him the tools to be independent he can take care of himself. You don’t have to shoulder all the responsibility. And it’s good that he means so much to you.”
“We have so many bunny hybrids that come through that are hurting and will keep hurting because their owners don’t give a shit about them beyond being some cute fluffy ornament to sit on a shelf,” said Mark scowling. “It’s honestly disgusting. Did you talk to Jin-hyung? He should be able to help with changing Jisung-ssi’s diet if what we have doesn’t help any. He works at the café across the street if you end up needing help and he’ll definitely be willing to answer questions for you.”
“Him or Jungkook though you might have a hard time getting Jungkook to answer you, he’s kinda shy,” said Namjoon nodding.
“He mentioned something about that,” said Chan nodding, “and something about having us for dinner.”
“Jin-hyung did?” asked Namjoon.
“No, Jungkook-ssi,” said Chan shaking his head. Both older men looked surprised.
“Well, that’s a good sign?” said Mark looking at Namjoon.
“Yeah,” said Namjoon nodding, “quite the jump though. He only just started talking to you and Jackson.”
“How long until Jisung-ah should wake up?” asked Chan rubbing his arms slightly as he focused back on Jisung.
“Shouldn’t be too long,” said Namjoon nodding, “you can sit with him if you want. It might help, uh if he feels safe with you I suppose. Something to do with the subconscious working quicker to wake hybrids up if they’re in an environment they deem safe.” Chan hesitated before carefully climbing up onto the table next to Jisung and sliding underneath Jisung’s head carefully to pillow it in his lap, carefully adjusting Jisung’s ears so he didn’t hurt them. Namjoon stood up, running a hand through his hair.
“I’ll clean up, you should go check on Tae,” said Mark looking to Namjoon who nodded.
“Right,” he said stepping towards the door. “Thanks.” He stepped out into the hallway and the door closed behind him.
“You look exhausted, Chan-ssi,” said Mark. Chan ran a hand through his hair.
“I am exhausted,” he said quietly. “I’m so tired. I’ve been training for way too many years. All my friends are gone at this point and I’m going no where fast. I have to figure out what to do. My roommates are assholes and creepy and I can’t leave Jisung alone at the dorm because of it. I don’t have many options and don’t know what to do, but I can’t keep dealing like this. I’m not sure it’s worth it anymore.”
“You’re a JYP trainee?” asked Mark, “like BamBam-ah?”
“Yeah,” said Chan nodding.
“Have you brought up your concerns to your managers or to JYP?” asked Mark. Chan nodded hesitantly.
“PD-nim mentioned maybe hiring me as a producer instead of a trainee if my tracks were good enough,” said Chan, “I’d get to still keep doing music like that and we could move to an apartment all our own.”
“You would have more creative liberty doing that,” pointed out Mark, “why not do that?”
“I don’t think I’m good enough,” said Chan.
“Isn’t it worth a shot?” asked Mark and Chan frowned. “The worst that happens is you end up back where you are, the best that happens is you succeed.”
“I’ll think about it,” said Chan quietly. Jisung stirred slightly and blinked his eyes open.
“Sungie,” said Chan immediately running his fingers through Jisung’s hair.
“Chan-hyung? What happened?” asked Jisung looking disoriented.
“You passed out,” said Chan, “we’re at the doctor.”
“I’ll go get Dr. Kim,” said Mark stepping out of the room.
“Sorry,” said Jisung softly, “sorry, it’s so late, the fee is going to be so bad. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be,” said Chan scratching gently around Jisung’s ears, earning Jisung’s face relaxing slightly and his eyes closing for his efforts.
“It’s not your fault, Jisung-ah,” said Chan, “don’t be sorry. I’m just glad you’re okay.”
“Am I sick?” asked Jisung quietly.
“Yeah,” said Chan nodding.
“Oh. How sick?” asked Jisung, “when will it be better?”
“Uh, it won’t,” said Chan, “but it’s not super bad, we’ll just have to keep an eye on it.”
“Oh,” said Jisung softly. “Will. Will I get to say goodbye?” Chan blinked.
“What?” he asked.
“It won’t get better. I know what happens to sick hybrids, hyung, please don’t act like it’s not how doctors fix permanently sick hybrids. I just don’t want to not get to say goodbye,” said Jisung quietly, looking like he was trying not to cry. Chan felt like crying realizing what Jisung was implying.
“No,” said Chan quickly leaning down to press his face to Jisung’s to look him in the eyes. “You’re not going anywhere. Dr. Kim’s going to give us medicine and we’re going to make sure we follow the eating schedule and they’re sending us with emergency medicine too just incase this ever happens again. You’re not going anywhere. I’m not losing you, Jisung-ah.”
“Really?” asked Jisung reaching up to grab onto Chan’s wrist.
“Really, I promise,” said Chan, “I wouldn’t do that to you.” Jisung did cry then. Chan wiped the tears away carefully, Jisung still holding onto his wrist.
“Why are you crying? Don’t cry, Jisungie,” said Chan.
“Can’t help it. I’m really fucking lucky,” muttered Jisung and Chan laughed. “Love you, hyungie.” Chan grinned and ran his freen hand back through Jisung’s hair again.
“I love you too,” he said, “and so does BamBam-hyung he looked pretty panicked earlier and he called in a favor to get you a doctor.” Jisung laughed.
“I don’t think BamBam-ssi knows me well enough to love me, hyung,” said Jisung. “Can I sit up?”
“I’m not sure, they didn’t say,” said Chan, “maybe carefully?” Jisung nodded and they carefully moved him to be sitting up. Namjoon and Mark returned and ran them through all the information again and by the time they left they had all the supplies they would need, Chan was determined to at least try to be a producer for JYP, and they ended up crammed onto Jackson’s couch with BamBam in the arm chair and a handful of new phone numbers for them to call and more of a support system than they had in years.
It was a few years before Chan was a successful producer world wide and they had moved homes a couple of times, lived in two tiny apartments and then the house that they picked together. It had taken awhile to figure out how to get Jisung too gain weight and they’d tried a couple different medicines. Namjoon had published a paper about healthy weights and eating habits in hybrids with their and Jungkook’s help. When Jimin showed up in their group he’d come knocking on their door asking about how to combat trained behavior keeping a hybrid dangerously underweight and Jisung’s help had ended up in a second medical paper. When Jisung had showed interest in making music Chan had taught him how to build his own tracks and then helped him start putting music out online. Jisung stopped being afraid of new people and of disappointing Chan as the years went by. He got louder and more energetic and influenced the others around him to be braver and louder and willing to exist in a world that wanted them silent. He still claimed he was lucky that he had Chan, but Chan was pretty sure it was the other way around. Jisung had been the one that kept Chan a float when he felt like he was drowning, Jisung had been the one that drug people kicking and screaming into their lives and wove a net of support and friendship that Chan sometimes couldn’t believe had happened. It was Jisung that had started Sunday night dinners. It was Jisung that brought Hyunjin and Changbin into their lives. It was Jisung that had held Felix’s hand and taught him to be loud and brave and curious in a way that Felix wouldn’t have tried without Jisung. It was Jisung that had bothered to sit down and tell Minho he wasn’t alone, and that it could get better. Jisung had been the one to help Beomgyu when he wasn’t sleeping because of nightmares and was too afraid to say a word. It had been Jisung that helped Jeno and Jaemin stop being afraid of hurting people and had been the first to initiate ear scratching and hugging with the two. It was Jisung that brought everyone together and Chan would always be convinced he was the lucky one. Chan had only made a split second decision that he wouldn’t allow someone to suffer when he could help. It was Jisung that chose day after day after day to love fearlessly and recklessly and bring person after person into their lives and Chan couldn’t imagine what would have happened to him if he hadn’t brought the tiny sick bunny hybrid home from the shelter that day. He had gained so much and learned so much and couldn’t imagine a world without his brother in it.