Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

“VIRGIL!” Roman screamed and Virgil fell backwards. He felt his stomach drop and he grinned and flipped over. A few bugs hit his cheeks, but he was going too fast to be annoyed. The ground was coming awfully close, though, and for the first time since downing the batch of liquid courage, Virgil felt a needling thought that he may have possibly been a bit of a dumbass.

Something solid hit him from the side and Virgil felt himself get knocked away from the cliff. Suddenly, his falling was halted. Virgil’s face was covered by something red, white, and warm. It was holding him fast and Virgil wrestled his face away from it and looked down.

He was suspended about 100 feet from the ground. Below him, an air vent had opened and was sending a stream of air that kept him floating. Virgil looked back at the mass that was holding tightly onto him.

It was Roman. His eyes pinpricks and his chest heaving. He looked down.

“Jesus Christ Virgil,” Roman breathed and pulled Virgil’s face back in as they floated slowly down towards the ground.

“My hero,” Virgil said, his voice muffled by the cloth of Roman’s shirt. When they landed, Roman’s legs buckled and they both fell on the ground. Roman rolled over, shook himself, and went to Virgil.

“Are you ok?” he asked, frantically checking him for injury and Virgil waved him away.

“I’m fine, Princey,” Virgil said easily and laid his sweatshirt on the ground to act as a blanket to sit on.

“Oh, okay,” Roman said and took a deep breath in, “then WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?”

Virgil shrugged, “Proving a point.”

“BY JUMPING OFF A CLIFF?”

Virgil shrugged again and laid down on his sweatshirt, “I knew you’d save me, Roman. And don’t try and give me that ‘anyone would have done it’ bs.”

Roman huffed, “How did you know I’d come after you?” he asked, his voice lower in volume.

Virgil sat up, “Because it’s you Princey. Being a hero is practically in your blood,” Virgil glanced at the air vent, “did you even know that thing was there before you jumped after me?”

Roman rubbed his neck, “I kind of remembered on the way down,” he muttered and Virgil grinned.

“See. I told you. You saved me, Roman. And not just with the cliff. You’ve been dragging yourself all day through the mindscape to help me. You put aside your own needs and talked to sides that you didn’t want to talk to, all to make sure I’m ok. You are daring and brave and selfless in all the right ways. You’re a true hero.”

Roman opened his mouth to argue and closed it. He stared at him before sitting down and gave Virgil a small smile.

“Thanks,” he said. Small and simple, but the word carried volumes. Virgil smiled back.

“No problem, I mean, damn, what a day. I can’t believe we jumped off a cliff!” Virgil laughed for a moment before stopping. He shot up.

“I can’t believe we jumped off a cliff,” he repeated, “holy shit we just jumped off a cliff holy shit, holy shit. Where’s my freaking hoodie?”

“Virgil?”

Virgil yanked on his hoodie and paced, “We could have died! We should have died! Splat, on the ground! Or into the side of the cliff or speared by a passing bird or choked on a bug or- or”

Roman put a hand on Virgil’s shoulder and Virgil forced himself to take a breath.

“I’m assuming the liquid courage has worn off then?” Roman said with a smirk when Virgil calmed himself down and Virgil shoved at him.

“Yeah, you think?” he said and pulled his hood over his eyes, “ugggghhhh, I’m never going to let myself forget any of this,” he said as the day’s events rammed into him full force, “Why did I want to eat a lightbulb?! Why did I steal Janus’s hat?!”

“According to you it was to ‘fight the system’ and ‘fulfill your dream of being a ‘50s show tune star’” Roman offered. Virgil just pulled his hood down lower so that only his mouth was showing and groaned.

“That’s it. I’m staying here and never leaving. This,” Virgil said, taking off his hood and patting the grass around him, “this is my home now.”

Roman rolled his eyes and ruffled Virgil’s hair, “Ah, come now, you’re back to your old self! This is cause for celebration!”

Virgil scratched his neck, “Yeah, back to making everyone feel uneasy about every decision,” he grumbled. Roman scoffed and got up. He held out a hand to Virgil who stared for a moment before taking it and getting up as well.

“Are you kidding? If you stayed like that for a moment longer, I would have lost it,” Roman smiled, “I, for one, am glad to have our good old worry wort back,” he said and Virgil smiled back. Roman waved his hand and a door back to the mindscape appeared. 

“Well, I assume that you’ve completed your list. So now what?” Roman asked. Virgil sighed. 

“Now,” Virgil said, stretched, and walked forwards, “now I think we deserve some freaking dinner.”

-

When they made it back into the common room, everyone was already sitting and Patton had prepared the table and dinner. Steamed carrots and beans, a pot with a shimmering, dark brown soup, slices of bread, and a tied-up roast all sat in the middle of the table. Virgil couldn’t help but drool a bit. The others noticed Virgil’s presence and he held a hand up.

“I shall allow exactly one minute for all teasing about what happened today, but after that not a word.”

Remus scoffed, “Well that’s hardly enough time to-”

“50 seconds!” Virgil yelled and Remus let out a cry.

“I thought you were sweet,” Patton said, “but a little reckless. Glad to have you back, kiddo.”

“The experiment was my fault, sorry you had to go through the ill effects,” Logan said and Virgil smiled while waving off his apology.

“If you say nothing about what happened, I won’t either,” Janus said in a way that seemed sly to the others, but really Virgil knew was his way of making sure the ‘Janus kitten’ incident wouldn’t be revealed to anyone else.

Roman looked like he was thinking, but then blushed bright red and covered his face, “You were too powerful,” he muttered. Virgil quirked an eyebrow at that before remembering oh god exactly how much flirting did I do with Princey? Along with the follow up thought which was Hey, that was actually kind of fun.

Remus waved his hands around “Eh-ah lightbulbs! Um-” he stuttered.

“Times up!” Virgil said. Remus gasped in protest, but Virgil held his ground. He looked at the table.

“Damn, Pat. You really went all out,” Virgil said and Patton lit up and gestured for Roman and Virgil to sit down so that they could all start eating.

“And I made it all in one pot too, slow cookers are amazing!” Patton exclaimed as Logan, now wearing his normal shirt and tie, began passing around the plates. The six of them served themselves and Patton put a piece of roast and sliced bread on Virgil’s plate. “So you’re really all back to normal now kiddo?” he asked and Virgil nodded. Janus raised an eyebrow at Virgil and Roman.

“Judging from your totally put-together appearances, I assume you went through with the dare?”

“Oh, yes I’m curious. What were the rest of the tasks?” Logan asked and pushed up his glasses. Roman ticked off the tasks as he spoke.

“Well, you know we baked brownies with Patton, we helped Remus with, uh,” he stopped and Logan raised an eyebrow.

“With the prank?” he asked and Roman nodded sheepishly. Logan waved his hand.

“It’s fine, well played Remus,” he said and Remus squinted his eyes as Roman continued.

“We played truth or dare with Janus and then we jumped off a cliff,” Roman finished and Patton nodded along for a moment before shooting up, a bean hanging out of his mouth.

“You did WHAT?!”

“I know,” Virgil said and put his hood up, “I can’t believe it either.”

“You’re the one who jumped first,” Roman pointed out.

“You did WHAT?!” Patton screamed again, this time at Virgil and Virgil shrugged. Patton sputtered and Logan had to guide him back into his chair so that he wouldn’t choke on his food.

Virgil cleared his throat, “Yeah, well. You caught me in those big strong arms of yours didn’t you?” he said and wiggled an eyebrow at Roman who gaped for a moment.

“I thought you said the effects of the Liquid Courage were gone!” he squeaked, a faint blush dusting his cheeks.

“They are. It’s just amazingly easy and incredibly entertaining to make you blush.”

Roman’s blush grew deeper, “It! It is not!”

“Oh really?” Virgil said and leaned forwards, “You’ve got beautiful eyes, Princey.”

Roman stuttered, the blush filling his face now.

“I actually do like your new outfit, Roman. The yellow tassels are quite tasteful,” Janus said sincerely, joining in.

“Your ideas may not have the morbid undertones that make mine pop, but they have their own flair,” Remus added.

“YOU ARE THE MOST WONDERFUL, MOST BEAUTIFULEST PRINCE IN ALL THE LAND,” Patton sobbed.

Roman stuttered and turned to Logan desperately, quietly pleading to get them to stop. Logan sighed and Roman’s shoulders slumped in relief. Logan turned to Roman.

“I know it’s been mentioned before, but you really are quite handsome, Roman,” Logan said. Roman’s eyes widened, he said nothing for a good five seconds, and then he buried his face in his hands and put his head on the table. Virgil could practically see the steam rising from him.

“We were supposed to be teasing about the experiment and Virgil,” he whined. Everyone laughed and Roman eventually looked up, a small smile playing on his face. Virgil turned to Logan.

“Speaking of experiments, what was that big project you’ve been working on, L?”

Logan brightened, “Would you like me to show you?” he asked, excitement clear on his face. Virgil laughed.

“As long as I don’t have to drink it,” he said and Logan jumped up, went to his room, and came back with a vial filled halfway with a bubbling, purple liquid. He took one of the empty, dirty dishes from the table, placed a single drop on it, and held up the plate as it cleaned itself.

“Neato!” Patton exclaimed, “Instant cleaner!”

Logan shook his head, “There’s more.” He opened the kitchen drawers and put two drops in. The haphazardly thrown utensils began to vibrate and pick themselves up. The forks, knives, and spoons grouped themselves together and the drawer organized itself in an instant.

Remus laughed, “Well, that certainly cuts down on chore time, but why,” he stopped, his eyes widening suddenly, “wait. The vial is only filled halfway. Where’s the rest of the solution?”

Logan sat back down and arched an eyebrow.

“I wonder,” he said with a small smile as the other sides looked between the two of them in confusion. Remus stood up.

“You didn’t,” he screeched, popped out of the kitchen for a full two minutes, and came back with a howl.

“MY ROOM! MY BEAUTIFUL, MESSY, CHAOTIC ROOM!” he wailed and Logan coughed something that sounded like ‘payback’ under his breath. Roman laughed and Virgil rolled his eyes.

“You pranked Remus by cleaning his room?” he asked Logan who nodded.

“And organizing his closet. And his drawer sets.”

“Nice,” Virgil said.

“You monster,” Remus groaned and put his head on the table. Logan let himself preen for a bit before looking at Virgil and putting a hand to his chin.

“So, it seems that you accomplished the task you set out to do as evidenced by the effects of the liquid courage wearing off. But, surely you weren’t actually planning on doing all those activities today?”

Virgil rubbed his chin. To be honest, he wasn’t sure how the list had gotten done. Logan was right, he had definitely not planned to jump off a cliff today. Virgil looked at his original list, now that he could actually read it again.

Virgil’s Master Plan for being able to eat a sandwich without wanting to Internally Combust!

1. Logan- doesn’t like being ignored. Probably the easiest to talk to, listen to him/ validate
2. Patton- sad? Guilty? Probably?? Doesn’t say when he’s upset, maybe get him to open up with brownies or cookies??
3. Remus- practically living his best life tbh. Make sure he’s good with Roman I guess
4. The hiss bitch hissy fit  the fake snake Janus- truth is I don’t like him. Find out if he’s really evil to protect Thomas
5. Roman- upset about callback, has somehow jumped to the conclusion that he’s not a hero anymore- fix that ASAP

Virgil read it over again and scratched his head. Somehow, he really had gotten to all of his tasks, even if he took the long, long way around. He looked up and everyone’s eyes were on him.

“What?” he asked

“Well don’t hold out on us, emo. What did the list really say? What was your true task?”

Virgil squirmed and looked at the five of them, around the table and taking part in one of Patton’s coveted family dinners. Remus still vibrating angrily from Logan’s ‘prank’, Roman patting his face to rid himself of his blush, Janus arranging his carrots and beans into some sort of abstract art, and Logan and Patton waiting for Virgil’s answer. Virgil used a fork to put his roast in between two slices of bread.

Virgil grinned, his famILY was back together. It was all he had wanted, but they didn’t have to know that.

“I just wanted to eat a damn sandwich,” he said and took a bite, chuckling at the other’s mystified expressions.