Work Text:
What the hell is that smoke coming from the– Sanji stops dead in his tracks, both hands full with various bags of groceries, as he stares at the Thousand Sunny on the shore, smoke rising up from it.
People passing by stare at the blond Cook who just stands there, rooted to the spot and blocking the way, but Sanji doesn’t even notice. His cigarette falls out of his mouth and onto the ground as he gapes at the smoke on the shore in silent disbelief. He drops his shopping bags and bolts towards the Sunny. The goddamn Thousand Sunny is smoking.
“Oi! Luffy! Nami-San, Robin-chan!” Sanji shouts as he runs towards their ship, “Marimo!” Upon getting no response, he wills his body to go faster. It only takes him a few more seconds until he reaches the Sunny and climbs on deck, frantically looking for the source of the fire. He finds it, unfortunately, while his eyes catch a glimpse of the door to his precious kitchen. Immediately, Sanji darts towards the door and opens it with a jerk, causing even more smoke to escape the room. He waves the smoke out of his face and coughs violently, holding a hand up to his mouth to cover it as he walks into the kitchen. “Chopper? Franky?” Still no response.
The smoke inside is so dense and black that Sanji can’t even see his own hand in front of his eyes. He whips his head around in panic as he tries to calculate the immediate level of further danger. The whole kitchen is an utter mess and Sanji curses loudly under his breath as he observes the complete extent of the fire damage or whatever the hell happened in here. He goes to open all the windows to air out the kitchen when he suddenly spots a head of green hair lying on the ground near the counter. A gasp escapes Sanji, as he rushes towards the figure on the ground, dropping the few knives and bowls he tried to salvage. “Oi! Marimo!” Sanji shakes the unconscious Zoro roughly before he has to cough again.“Zoro!” They need to get out of this smoke-filled room, now. Quickly, Sanji gets up from the ground and drags Zoro up with him, draping his arm around his own shoulder in order to carry the other out of the smoking kitchen.
Damn, that Idiot is heavy. Sanji struggles with the weight of an unconscious Zoro resting on his body as he makes his way towards the door, knocking over a whole lot of pans and pots on the ground. He briefly wonders why his whole cooking utensils seem to be scattered on the ground but promptly abandons that thought when Zoro finally comes to. Zoro groans dazedly against his shoulder and blinks a few times in confusion. “… Cook?” he asks with a raspy voice as his eye finally seems to focus on the man carrying him. Sanji tries to huff in response but due to him struggling with supporting the heavy weight of the other, it turns out as more of a grunt. “What the hell happened back there?” he barks angrily as he finally puts Zoro down on deck. The harshness of his words contrasts deeply with the tenderness and care Sanji puts into lying the other down. Suddenly, Zoro falls into fit of coughing, shaking his body violently, and Sanji decides to prop Zoro up against the railing, making sure that he can breathe properly. His brows furrow with worry as he fixes his gaze on Zoro. “Marimo… What happened to my kitchen? And where are the others?”
“Out,” is all Zoro manages to croak before he starts coughing again. Sanji lets out a sigh of relief at that and plops down next to Zoro, lighting himself a cigarette. At least no one else is in danger, then. “So… Care to explain why the hell my kitchen is smoking?”
“I-tried-cooking,” Zoro’s words are clipped and he pauses as he takes a deep, rattling breath. “Wanted-surprise-you.” Sanji looks back at his kitchen in disbelief, smoke still pouring out en masse, and sighs as he shakes his head and turns back to Zoro. “You wanted to cook for me and… blew up my whole kitchen in the process?” He asks for confirmation, not really expecting an answer. “You really are useless…” he mutters but despite his frustration and anger over the loss of his kitchen, his voice is laced with affection.
Zoro grins at that, though it loses quite a lot of its cockiness as his whole body – covered in dust and debris – is shaken by coughs again. Sanji sighs as he runs a hand through his hair before patting Zoro on the back. Getting a new kitchen would leave a great dent in their funds. Nami will be absolutely furious when she finds out.
“Just,” he rakes his hand through his hair again, “Promise me to never cook again, alright, Idiot?” Sanji sighs in resignation as he begins to wipe the dust off of Zoro’s face and his hands move so very gently and carefully as if he’s handling a porcelain plate. “Well-it’s really-kinda your fault-for leaving me with-burnable things-in the first place,” Zoro chokes out and blinks up at Sanji in his lap.
The head cocked teasingly to one side and the arrogant grin on Zoro’s face leave Sanji unsure whether he wants to strangle or kiss Zoro in response.
–
If we’re assigning blame then this is your fault for leaving me alone with explosives in the first place.