USUK - Freeform
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England must go through America's very extensive security pat down in order to fly home. It's smut but written for laughs from America's totally awesome point of view, dude.
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America wants England to pledge allegiance. Or else he's not getting any. It's smut so enjoy, you perverts.
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CRACK SMUT. America gets really turned on by food. England gets really turned on by America. Super cracky foodplay smut, written for lulz in America's totally awesome POV, dudes. USUK / UKUS. Yes, both.
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USUK. America sends England embarrassingly graphic texts on the way to visit. When he arrives, they have an awkward, gross discussion about sex that leads to awkward, gross fail sex. Written for the lulz.
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America and England sneak into France's bed while he's sleeping and try to have sex without waking France up. But don't worry. It's a Tempurpedic!
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Some Things Hallmark Just Doesn't Make a Card For by americalovesthecockpit
Fandoms: Hetalia: Axis Powers
22 Jun 2012
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SUPER CRACKY USUK! America is too rough during sex and accidentally gives England an anal prolapse. England is pissed. However is a hero to make it up to him? America's POV for the lulz.
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Sodomite England wants extremely religious!America very desperately. But buttsex isn't easy when America is so very homophobic. Jesus is such a cockblock sometimes.
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That's Not Very Becoming of a Gentleman by americalovesthecockpit
Fandoms: Hetalia: Axis Powers
03 Jul 2012
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It's been nine months since England and America last saw each other, and England is absolutely desperate for a good rough shag. But America is taking his sweet time. Sexual frustration ahoy! USUK, smut towards the end.
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America realizes he's never had any sexy times with England, but very much wants to. But for some reason, no matter how hard he tries, or how kinky he gets, England bolts! America thinks he just needs to be more creative and even kinkier, but he never even considers that England is actually a virgin. SURPRISE! Cracky USUK, America's POV for the lulz.
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USUKUS. When England adds the extra event of a Masturbation Marathon to the Olympics, extremely religious!America ... who is also very homophobic ... tries to say he's sick to get out of it. TOTAL CRACK.
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Alfred, as a doctor, helps a woman give birth. Emotions stir up inside Arthur as the image of his lover holding a baby with so much softness in his eyes scorched into his brain.
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England accidentally chokes to death, though only temporarily because he is a country. What is America to do with his dead body in the meantime? It drives him mad and he asks France for help. Bad idea. USUK, crack, lulz, and a little bit of necrophilia.
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Alfred decides to try and woo Arthur by singing him the most 'romantic' song of all time. USUK songfic/crack.
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England has a confession for America. A very bizarre one that America thinks is a joke. But for England it is TOTAL DRAMA. This fic is PURE CRACK and labeled drama for the lulz.
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England's relationship with the rain and an overbearing idiot through the centuries. Light USUK.SUK.
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Alfred has a request that startles his best friend, Arthur: a kiss.
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America encourages England to be as loud as he wants as they make love in his garden. Japan and France have the best "seat"... or bush... possible for spying.
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When a certain British prostitute and an American college student meet after a series of events, how could a coincidental meeting turn into more? And what could these two possibly have in common?
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It's Christmas Eve, and extremely religious!America just wanted to spend it doing nice, Christian things. But then sodomite!England shows up at America's door. He's drunk, accidentally gives himself breasts with his magic, and they may or may not be tempting to supposedly straight America. Total crack, male lactation, USUKUS.
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When they were young, Alfred and Arthur decided to store objects inside a trunk that held some memories. Alfred called it a time capsule. Arthur called it a 'preposterous idea' but he got hooked with the idea later on too. Now, it's time for those memories to come to the surface once again as Arthur opens the time capsule one last time.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 639
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- 1/?
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