I want to preface this by saying that this story is awesome, your writing is splendid, a very good balance of detail and flow, not to mention you have a really strong grasp of subtle character voice that makes it so you can tell which character you are in the POV of without having to explicitly label it or spell it out.
That being said, I don't even know if I'd call this a critique or not because it 100% might just be my own subjective, way-too-angst-pilled brain filling in gaps where there are none, I might just want to say this because it makes me laugh in hindsight;
You might be way too good at writing accidental suspense for your own good lol
It's not necessarily a bad thing, I'm just sitting here at the final chapter now and realizing I might need to go back a reread some of the sweet, sentimental scenes again because they will have a very different tone now that I'm not waiting with Hitchcock-ian tension for someone to get attacked.
Like, all the focus on whether or not Peko can still successfully protect Fuyuhiko made me think the whole time "oh shit, there's gonna be a scene where we really grapple with whether or not that's true"
Saying that the clan might try to make her dissappear or how it would be a really big bad deal that they chose to walk away made me spend the rest of the story waiting for the clan to show back up and follow through on that.
Having the family see them off with an ominous warning about how they're not under their protection anymore immediately set off my "Forshadowing Alarm" for "oh they're DEFINITELY getting attacked by someone later".
After that one chapter with the creepy physiotherapist I spent the whole rest of the story braced for him to show back up and make a bigger problem of himself. I really thought he was gonna show up at the party somehow and be the climax to all that ominous drink spiking talk or something.
I spent SO much of the story waiting for Peko taking off her cast 3 weeks early to come bite the characters in the ass in some big, dire way.
Like I said, none of this is really a problem, I still enjoyed the story a lot, it's just sort of something notable I think in the way that, like, all writing is kind of defined by its ability to convey the information, tone, and atmosphere that the author intended. This very well might all just be my fault for reading foreshadowing where there is none. Just me reading a sweet story about healing and personal growth in a room full of loaded Chekhov's guns. Their first date at the aquarium is so sweet and a really great piece of slice of life romance writing! .... it does come across a lot differently though if you're reading it the whole time waiting for someone to get shot by the mafia lol
Really great work, thank you for putting it out there in the world!
Comment on Resonance
PitVarmint on Chapter 41 Mon 11 May 2026 12:48AM UTC
Last Edited Mon 11 May 2026 12:59AM UTC
Comment Actions